A Series of Bad Moves

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Jackie couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen Adams so enthralled. Adams was looking at the scene that had unfolded in front of them, her face a mix of amusement and abject horror. Iris moved her queen, Jackie saw Adams wince ever so slightly, before composing herself again. Jackie found Adams tiny cringes more entertaining in than the game itself, but she turned her head back to towards the board when Anne stated talking.

“That’s it? That’s your move?” Anne asked, with mock incredulity. 

“Yes.” Said Iris, returning her hand to her side of the table.

“I know we said no take-backs, but if you’d like to -“

“Shut up!” Iris blurted out. She quickly recomposed herself, and said “Just take your turn.”

“Alright, Alright.” Anne said “Just trying to even the playing field.” She grinned, as Iris glared at her from across the table.

A few hours ago, Jackie and Iris had been sitting together at lunch, which surprisingly hadn’t happened since Monday. Jackie had seen Iris in passing, but the two hadn’t had the chance to talk since Iris hadn’t been around during meal times. Jackie had brought this up to Iris, who took the chance to brag about the reason behind her irregular eating habits. She’d said Adams had been teaching her how to play chess, and she’d become quite good, quite fast. She offered to teach Jackie how to play, when Anne, who had clearly been listening in on Iris’ boasting for some time, chimed in.

Anne claimed she hadn’t played the game since middle school, but nonetheless figured she’d have an easy time winning against Iris. It didn’t take much for Iris to fall for what Jackie thought was an obvious trap, and the three of them quickly made their way to the game room. Jackie knew that Anne was somehow messing with Iris, she’d started to believe that Anne hadn’t played in a very long time. Anne had mixed up the starting position of the horse and the bishop, wasn’t aware of the fact that white always went first, and she appeared to be genuinely indignant whenever Iris correctly pointed out she was wrong about one rule or another. After Iris pulled an en passant, Anne seemed to genuinely believe she’d caught Iris cheating, and acted pretty indignant when Adams informed her that it was, in fact, a legitimate move.

Jackie didn’t know how Adams had learned of the game. She hadn’t seen Adams enter the room, but the other woman had sat down next to Jackie at some point when the board was being set up. Whenever Iris took her turn, Adams would mutter something like ‘she’s not going to fall for that’ or ‘pay attention to the rook,’ or some other comment about Iris’ performance. Adams had taught Iris just about everything she knew about chess, and was clearly not happy with her performance. 

“Is she playing that badly?” Jackie asked, under her breath.

“Yes. Well, no.” Adams said “She’s doing it on purpose.”

“She’s trying to lose to on purpose? To Anne?”

Adams shook her head. “No. She’s trying to show off.”

“Oh.”

“She’s just not as good as she thinks. Or, Anne’s a lot better than she expected. Or both.”

“Yeah. Yeah I got that.”

Anne, who’d been leaning back in her chair up until that point, moved herself closer to the board,  her hand hovering over her bishop. She hesitated for a moment, before taking Iris’ remaining rook. She grinned and looked up at Iris, who scowled and muttered something that Jackie couldn’t quite make out. Jackie thought she heard Adams sigh next to her, although a look at her face revealed nothing.

“How many turns have there been?” Adams asked. It took Jackie a moment to realize that the question wasn’t rhetorical. 

“Me?” Jackie said. “You want— I’m going to be honest, I haven’t kept track.”

Adams nodded. “Fair enough. Well, however many turns it’s been, I think they both think the game’s gone on long enough. It looks like they’re starting to take it a little more seriously.”

Adams was probably right. The two weren’t openly bickering between moves as much as they had been in the beginning of the game, and they generally seemed to be paying more attention to the board than they were to each other. Jackie nodded in hesitant agreement. “So we’re close to an end?”

“Probably. I give it about three turns until checkmate. Iris can probably see a way to achieve it. With Byrne I can’t be sure.”

As Adams was talking, Iris moved her queen near one of Anne’s knights, and Anne said something snarky about the fact that Iris had failed to take her piece. Iris pretended to ignored her, but Jackie could see she was clenching her jaw. Anne seemed to miss this, as she’d turned her attention back towards the board immediately after her comment.

“Do you think she lied about never having played recently?” Jackie asked.

“Maybe. Probably. But there’s no way to prove she did.”

“She probably did. But you’re right, we can’t know unless she comes out in says it.” The two sat in silence for a moment, before Jackie said “Do you think she sees a way to win?”

“Already said, I don’t know.”

Anne moved one of her knights forward, into the path of Iris’ queen.

“Actually, she definitely sees it.” Adams said.

Jackie caught Iris glancing over towards Adams for a second. Her eyes quickly turned back towards the board, and she moved her queen diagonally.

“She can’t hear us, right?” Jackie said, lowering her voice even more. 

Adams shook her head. “I’d be more concerned about her getting a read on our emotions, but I think we’d notice if she was doing that. I don’t think we’re effecting her performance.”

“But do you think she’s reading Iris? That would be cheating, wouldn’t it?”

“It would be unsportsmanlike, at the very least. But again, not something we can prove.”

“Check.” Iris said, exceedingly pleased with herself.

“No fun.” Anne said, frowning. She had likely hoped Iris would take her knight, which would have allowed her to take the queen with a well-hidden bishop. She sat still for a while, drumming her hands on the table and staring at the board. Her eyes eventually lit up, and she moved that same bishop into the queen’s path. Without much time to think, Iris moved her queen just out of the path of the bishop. Anne shook her head.

“You should have taken the bishop.” She said. “Big mistake, Iris. The game’s basically over now.”

“You’ve said that four times now.” Iris said. 

“Three times. But I mean it this time.” Anne said, she shifted her queen a few spaces to her right, and looked back up at Iris. “As long as you don’t pull out any bullshit fake moves again.”

“En passant is a real move.” Iris snapped back. 

“It was a legitimate move, Anne.” Jackie said. “Adams said so. Let’s not re-litigate this.”

Iris continued talking as though Jackie hadn’t said anything. “Anyways, It’s not my fault you challenged me to a game of chess without knowing the rules. You bragged about how good you were despite that.”

“Hey,” Anne said “I asked you to teach me how to play the game.”

“No you didn’t! I was talking to Jackie. You’re the one who started bragging about how easy it would be to beat me. Why do you insist on lying about everything?”

“I’m not lying. I started bragging after you said it would be easy beat me.”

“You started it! You’re lying!” Iris said. She let out an angry exhale, and moved her queen closer to Anne’s king.

“She didn’t see Anne setting up her checkmate.” Adams said to Jackie. She sounded genuinely disappointed.

Anne moved her rook into the same column as Iris’ queen. “That’s checkmate.” Anne said. With an incredibly large smirk, she leaned back in her seat and tilted her head at Iris. “Well then, I guess I was right. You’re not nearly as good as you claimed to be.”

Iris sat there stunned for a moment, before she pushed off of the table and stood up. “That’s not checkmate.”

Adams and Jackie both stood up to get a better view of the board. Adams walked up to the table, while Jackie stayed near her seat. “That’s checkmate.” Adams said. Iris’ king was in the path of Anne’s rook, and its escape was blocked by Anne’s queen, Iris’ own pieces, and the edge of the board.

“But — You —“ Iris looked up at Anne. “You cheated!” She turned to Adams, face red. “She cheated!”

Adams shook her head. “I was watching the whole time. She wasn’t cheating.”

“Yes she was.” Iris said. She turned towards Jackie, a furious expression on her face. “She cheated, didn’t she?” 

“I didn’t see her cheat.” Jackie said. She tried to think of something that might help clam Iris down. “Hey, I could play a match with you if you’d like. You’d probably win, and it might make you feel a little better.”

“I don’t want to play another match.” Iris said “I don’t care that I lost! I’m mad because she cheated! You saw her, didn’t you?”

“No,” Jackie said. 

“She was probably lying about having not played since middle school.” Adams said. Jackie shot Adams an exasperated look, while Anne turned to look at them.

“It was high school.” Anne said.

“Ok,” Adams said “High school. I still don’t believe you.”

“I wasn’t lying!” said Anne. “Honestly!”

“That’s cheating!” Iris said.

“It’s not!” Anne said. 

“It’s not cheating.” Adams concurred. 

“It wouldn’t be, if I was.” Anne said hastily. 

“It’s bad sportsmanship,” Adams said, “But It’s not really cheating. And unless Byrne admits that’s what she was doing, you can’t prove that she was lying about it.”

“I wasn’t lying!” Anne said. “I haven’t played since high school!”

“You obviously were.” Iris said. “This is //exactly// the kind of thing you’d lie about.”

“She’s right. It’s definitely something you’d lie about.” Jackie said, although it didn’t seem like anyone had heard her.

“If I was lying about it,” Anne said “I would have told you by now. I’ve won the game. Why wouldn’t I tell you now that the game is over?”

“Because you think it’s funnier if I think I lost to someone who hasn’t played in a decade.” Iris said, flatly.

Anne appeared to consider this statement. “You’re right.” She said, “That is pretty funny. And it’s true! I haven’t played in a decade, and you lost to me!” Anne beamed, and Iris stared at her, mouth open for more than a few moments. Apparently unable to find what she was looking for in her opponents face, Iris’ her face became bright red, which only caused Anne’s grin to grow wider.

“You were reading my mind while we were playing, too.” Iris said. “That’s definitely cheating!”

“Aw, Iris,” Anne said, in a mocking tone. “I see what this is about. You can’t deal with the fact that you’re not as good as you thought you were. You have to make up for your own shortcomings by blaming me, don’t you?”

“Don’t patronize me!” Iris yelled. “You cheated, and you know you cheated. Admit it! You cheated!”

“Don’t be so upset.” Anne chided “You’re not that bad at the game, I’m just naturally talented at chess. It’s not entirely your fault that you lost.”

Iris opened her mouth. Jackie expected her to scream, but Iris simply didn’t speak for a good ten seconds. Finally, she managed to speak, but her voice wavered as it came out.

“I didn’t lose. You cheated.”

If Jackie hadn’t known any better, she would have assumed Iris was about to cry. Adams looked at Iris, and then turned to face Anne.

“You are a lot better than I’d expected. Why don’t we play a match together?”

Anne, who had been getting ready to gloat more, froze as she realized Adam’s challenge was not really a suggestion.“Well, that certainly sound fun.” She said, nervously “But maybe another time. I have to—“

“No, let’s do it now. Who knows when we’d have the time to meet up in here again.” Adams said, as she started to reset the board. “We should do it now. You can’t read my emotions very well, so if you can win against me, you’ll prove you could have beaten Iris without reading her. It’s a good solution for everyone.” 

“I —“

“Though, if you think you need to back out, that’s ok too.”

“Well, I —“ Anne struggled to come up with a retort or excuse, before swearing under her breath and sitting back down in her chair. “Fine. Let’s play.” She said, defeated.

Iris walked over to Jackie, with a wicked grin on her face. She sat down in the chair formally occupied by Adams, and folder her arms. The embarrassment that had been evident on her face moments ago had disappeared completely. Staring smugly at the scene unfolding in front of her, Iris said “This ought to be fun.”

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A Series of Bad Moves

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