Author Page - Zzuxon

Link to article: Author Page - Zzuxon.

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Includes

• theme:pataphysics

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[[tab The Mysterious File]]
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The following file was discovered in the Pataphysics Department database by department archivist Enkidu.aic during a routine check. It was not uploaded by any known IntSCPFN account, seeming to have spontaneously appeared on the server. It purports to be a personnel file for Dr. Zachary Saxon of the Pataphysics Department, but differs greatly in tone and content from Dr. Saxon's actual file. It is maintained here for its believed pataphysical significance. It was the decision of a meeting of Pataphysics Department heads that Dr. Saxon should not be made aware of this file's existence. 

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[[size large]]**Personnel Record: Z. Saxon**[[/size]]

**Name:** Dr. Zachary C. Saxon

**Clearance:** Level 3.

**Position:** Researcher, Pataphysics Department, Site-██

**Background:** Majored in astrophysics at the University of ████████, received a PhD at University of ████████. Was recruited by the Foundation in part due to a short video essay he made about the philosophy of science in which he discussed the hypothetical discovery of a phenomenon which seemed to entirely defy the laws of physics. Though initially assigned to the Astronomy Department, Saxon quickly showed an interest in esoteric sciences such as memetics and thaumatology. He was eventually recruited by the Department of Pataphysics after to his interest in narrative structure and tropes led to him noticing that many SCP documents seemed to contain a narrative structure and tropes, as if they were intended to be interesting as a work of fiction. 
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Department Note: This section is accurate.

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**Performance:** Dr. Saxon's supervisors have consistently described him as a competent but unexceptional researcher. Some testimonials:
> "Oh, yeah, Saxon! I remember him now. What was his best work? He uh, he made some nice plots from data taken on anomalous nebulae. How's he doing in memetics?" - //Dr. Terrence Tran, Astronomy Department.//

> "There are two things I remember most about Zack. The first was his work using memetic agents to contain SCP-████, kind of his shining moment, professionally speaking. At least it was as far as I know, don't know what he has been up to since he transferred. The other is the time I let him stay the night at my house while we were going to a conference. I got him up in the morning and in his half-asleep state he called the guest room ceiling lamp a cognitohazard." - //Dr. Shelby Woodman, Memetics Department.//

> "Dr. Saxon, to be perfectly frank, lacked the ambition and force of will to succeed in thaumaturgy. He has too passive of a personality. To his credit, he was aware enough of his own shortcomings to realize he was a mediocre sorcerer and dropped out of the training program before we needed to ask him to. The most memorable thing he did as a training exercise was bind an extra-dimensional entity to try and help him actualize some of his ideas about how the Super Smash Brothers video games should be made, as well as act as a 'sounding board' for him to talk about his idea for a superhero novel. It wasn't very successful." -//Katherine Sinclair, Thaumatology Department.//

Dr. Saxon has begun to receive more positive evaluations while working in Pataphysics.
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Department Note: The information in this section has been confirmed through investigation to be true, but is clearly not professional to include in a personnel record made available to colleagues. Further, the individuals mentioned in the section claim to have never given the included testimonials. 

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**Documented SCPs:**

------

[[[SCP-3503]]] - Panic is Pure, Trauma is True, Suffering is Sweet, and Death's a Delight.
> In stage 2, infected individuals begin to develop a positive opinion of their PTSD, feeling that having PTSD positively affects their psychological state.

> But one time, in one "slide," he didn't really do anything to me. He looked at me for like half a second, then he turned around and walked off.
> 
> Somehow that was worse than getting eaten.
//Author's Commentary//: My very first SCP became a success. This has made me happy ever since, and though I recognize it suffers from clumsy narrative structure, I'm proud of it anyway, on account of what I feel is good imagery and themes.

The seed of the idea was when I was thinking about Gods of nature and how I didn't find them plausible. They were often too human, too sensible and kind to be manifestations of uncontrolled nature, which is as far from caring or nurturing as it gets. Then I realized that there was one god of nature I'd read about who I thought fit the bill fantastically, even though he isn't called a "god of nature." That god is Yaldabaoth. CotBG is easily my favorite fictional religion I've seen in any media, so I love that my first foot forward into SCP writing explores the Mekhane-Yaldabaoth conflict. 

Fun Fact: I considered including a brief passage where The Foundation asked some of it's contacts in the Serpent's Hand to ask actual Satyrs if they knew anything about 3503. I decided not to include it to avoid over-complicating the narrative, and because I want to use a similar "zinger" in another article I'm going to write.

------

[[[SCP-3324]]] - Getting Kidney Stones in the Past is More Useful than you'd Think.
> SCP-3324-2 instances cannot be prevented from urinating into SCP-3324 and passing their kidney stone at the planned time.

> Good luck soldier, and drink plenty of fluids.

//Author's Commentary//: My second SCP. I'm very happy with how this turned out, of all my SCPs I feel it's the least flawed.

This is inspired by my own experiences with kidney stones. I pee in a sieve (the very sieve in the image no less), because if the stone is causing me this much suffering, by god I get to look at it up close after it comes out! But, what if this behavior was a cause, rather than a symptom?

There was a time when I considered writing 3324 in a way that implied someone/something had created the sieve in order to collect/harvest kidney stones, but I decided that this happening for no reason whatsoever was much funnier, and since I was clearly writing a comedic work, that is the way to go. 

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[[[SCP-4410]]] - The Ongoing Development of an Art Form
> Online collaborations such as this are often fleeting, but there are some very passionate SCP-4410-1 instances. I'm hoping this community can stay active for three, maybe four years. We'll see.

> But SCP-4410 is a self portrait, hosted right here in our universe for our viewing pleasure.

//Author's Commentary//: My 3rd SCP and, as of now, magnum opus. My entry into the 4000 contest. It's about history all right... site history that is.

At the risk of sounding like I'm tooting my own horn, I adore how 4410 turned out. Everything was riding against it. It's a pataphysics SCP, which many on the site have an automatic distaste for. It's an entry to the 4000 contest, so standards are automatically higher than your everyday skip. It is very ambitious, and therefore very easy to screw up. The basic premise is "The SCP wiki is an anomaly documented by the Foundation," which has also been the premise of many a new user coldpost that got soundly elbow dropped into deletion. Most of all, it was a coldpost itself. 

In spite of all that, it is now my highest rated SCP by a wide margin. +57 (at the time of writing) (Edit: Now +75) may not seem like much, and it isn't, really. But I honestly doubted I would ever hit +50, and now I have, on the work I feel is the best and most worthy to have my highest rating.

The idea for 4410 originated in seeing a joke on /r/DankMemesfromSite19 which suggested that by Series XI, cognitohazards would crawl out of your computer screen and punch you in the face. The joke of course was about the way that SCPs and site expectations have tended to become more complex over time. I imagined site users eventually figuring out how to make actual anomalies to satisfy the communities hunger for increasingly sophisticated and immersive fiction. I originally conceptualized it as a joke 001 proposal, then realized it could be portrayed seriously as well, and thought that it would be my serious 001 proposal one day. One day being far off, because I was very intimidated by how high-concept the idea was. I thought I'd screw it up if I didn't have enough SCPs under my belt. But when I learned the 4000 contest theme was history, I knew I had to write it before I felt ready. I didn't feel like I was a good enough writer to do the concept justice, and I kind of still don't. But I do think it works, it does what I wanted it to do. I'm proud.

------
[[[SCP-4619]]] - reflect.mp4
> However, instead of reflecting the camera recording the video and the area behind the camera, the mirror reflects the area in front of the monitor displaying SCP-4619.

> You put a mirror in front of a rabbit, they'll think it's another rabbit. You look in a mirror yourself and you can reflect on your own existence. It might be easy for you to take for granted, but one should appreciate what a gift it is, how rich it makes the experience of being.

//Author's Commentary//: My 5th SCP. This was inspired by a reddit comment I saw in which someone described that as a young kid, they were confused by the fact that they couldn't see their reflection in a photo of a mirror. The idea developed into this.

This is my lowest rated successful SCP, and deservedly so, I think. As I was working on it, I thought "Dang, this isn't quite working as well as it did in my head." I think it works though.

------
[[[SCP-5875]]] - A Call to Adventure in a Missive from Below
> One result of this is is that SCP-5875-A is constantly exposed to narrative information passing between universes.

>  SCP-5875-2 instances read as strongly expositional, and in particular are strongly associated with the "Call to Adventure" phase of the Hero's Journey or Monomyth.

//Author's Commentary//: My Exquisite Corpse contest entry. Shoutouts to [[*user Petrograd]], my mystery collaborator who wrote the containment procedures.

I wanted to give Pataphysics a fun, new space to explore with this, as well as discuss how I think the pataphysical mechanism works without an article being ABOUT that. 

When I got the con procs, they suggested a fairly clear type of anomaly, but I struggled greatly to come up with a way to make such an anomaly interesting. Big thanks to my mom, who discussed this problem with me and suggested something like "What if there were aliens that only know how to communicate with humans by making references to human fiction?" The rest of the concept fell into place from there.

------

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Department Note: In reality, Dr. Saxon has worked on over 15 SCP projects. He has worked extensively on SCP-4410 and SCP-5875, but is only tangentially connected to SCP-3503, and is entirely unconnected to SCP-3324 and SCP-4619. It is believed that the large segments of white space labeled "Author's Commentary" actually contain information, but that information is being concealed from Foundation personnel in some way. The factual inaccuracies and apparent attempts at humor present in the document strongly suggests Dr. Saxon is an "Author Avatar," as this has been documented in many confirmed author avatars as well. Dr. Benson has further pointed out that Dr. Saxon suggested Project Piper to contain SCP-4410 Escapist events, as opposed to a more drastic course of action, because he predicted the narrative intent of the author. This could be attributed to an "Author Avatar" status as well. As awareness of this theory may affect future insights of a similar nature, the existence of this file is to be concealed from Dr. Saxon indefinitely.

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[[tab Bonus Features]]

My entry on Log of Anomalous Items, Vol II:
**Item Description:** A toilet with cognitohazardous properties. Individuals will uniformly be reluctant to flush the toilet, as exposed individuals have a significant suspicion that a malevolent entity of some kind might use the sound of the flush to conceal the sound of its own approach before attacking. This effect is weak enough that most individuals will dismiss it as irrational and flush the toilet. --No evidence supporting the existence of any malevolent entities connected to the toilet has been found.-- In light of a recent experiment, the Foundation's understanding of this object is being re-evaluated.
**Date of Recovery:** 04-11-2017
**Location of Recovery:** Greenbelt, Maryland, United States.
**Current Status:** In storage at Anomalous Item Repository 3.

My sandboxes:
http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/zzuxon
http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/zzuxon-s-4000-proposal

I may make a SCP themed wint @dril parody account at some point. If that ever happens, it'll go here too.

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[[tab How the Foundation Contained Christmas]]
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This is what was SCP-4089 - How the Foundation Contained Christmas, my 4th SCP, and first unsuccessful SCP.

I had previously thought about the concept of writing Santa Claus as a mainlist SCP. I quickly realized that simply describing Santa with clinical tone would be uninteresting fiction, so a Santa SCP would need an "angle" to introduce narrative interest. The easiest way to do this would be to put a twist on the concept of Santa to make the character less familiar to the audience, such as by giving Santa some manner of nefarious intent. I decided I didn't like this "This ain't your grandma's Santa" approach, as it felt disrespectful to the idea of Santa Claus, which I find very lovely and compelling.

So when I hit on the idea of Santa trying to convince the Foundation not to contain his operation by taking an O5 on a Christmas Carol/It's a Wonderful Life-esque journey through a possible future where the Foundation contains him, I was extremely excited. This not only would allow me to play Santa straight while introducing a narrative, it would also put my work more solidly in the Christmas story tradition: a classical Christmas Story in the SCP format.

Upon being posted, it quickly entered Deletion range. 

I struggled at first to understand what I had done wrong. My best ideas to explain the poor reception were that people didn't like it because it was very long, and because a day or two earlier, another SCP depicting Santa as a time traveler serving a community service sentence had been posted. But some very insightful comments from Uncle Nicolini and ModernMajorGeneral helped me understand better. The work is a little cheesy, a little sappy, has a few Christmas movie cliches. This was deliberate, I wanted to write a //Christmas Story//, not just a story pertaining to Christmas. But Nicolini and MMG didn't like that, which is fair. They helped me realize that my basic vision for the story just wasn't something this community was going to respond well too. They gave me closure, and saved me the trouble of editing and reposting, which would surely have ended with the article getting deleted again. If you two are reading this, thank you so much for your comments.

I am not upset the article got deleted, but I am still proud of my work. I feel that I did a reasonably good job of pulling off the idea I had. And if you are interested enough in my work to be reading my author page, I'd like you to be able to read it, if you wish. So here it is.
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[[include component:image-block
    name=santa.jpg|
    caption=A depiction of SCP-4089 from a Victorian era Christmas card.
]]

**Item #:** SCP-4089

**Object Class:** Archon[[footnote]]Archon-class anomalies pose a greater threat to normalcy when contained than they do when uncontained.[[/footnote]]

**Special Containment Procedures:** The relationship between the SCP Foundation and SCP-4089 is codified in the Silent Night Agreement. To summarize:
* Neither SCP-4089 nor its employees will produce SCP-4089-2 instances that possess anomalous properties beyond the perceptual properties standard to all SCP-4089-2 instances.
* SCP-4089 will take all reasonable measures to avoid being detected by civilians during Noel Events.
* SCP-4089 will submit to and cooperate with searches of SCP-4089-1 to ensure that no additional access points between SCP-4089-1 and baseline reality have been made without Foundation approval.
* SCP-4089 will inform the Foundation whenever it leaves SCP-4089-1.

In exchange for complying with it's part of the agreement, SCP-4089 receives the following commitments from the Foundation:
* The Foundation will not attempt to prevent or otherwise inhibit Noel Events from occurring.
* The Foundation will not attempt to contain SCP-4089-2 instances.
* The Foundation's inspections of SCP-4089-1 will be performed in such a way as to minimize disruption to the operations of SCP-4089 and its employees.
* The Foundation will take action to prevent SCP-4089 and its operations from being discovered by groups which might cause harm to SCP-4089.
* In the event of hostile action against SCP-4089 and its operations, the Foundation will use military force in SCP-4089's defense.

The Silent Night agreement can be re-negotiated every six months, if either party is unsatisfied with it. In the event that the current SCP-4089 dies or retires and a new individual becomes SCP-4089, the Silent Night Agreement transfers to that individual, but that individual has the right to call for a renegotiation of the agreement as soon as they become SCP-4089, regardless of the time passed since the last renegotiation.

**Description:** SCP-4089 is the entity commonly known as Santa Claus. It's appearance is consistent with popular conceptions of Santa Claus, being a rotund, elderly, bearded, caucasian male with white hair. It's mannerisms and demeanor are similarly consistent as well. SCP-4089 has extensive expertise in thaumaturgy. SCP-4089 is also a low level reality bender, whose capabilities are restricted to only producing effects related to concepts, objects, and motifs that are widely associated with Christmas or the holiday season generally. SCP-4089 possesses a degree of omniscience with respect to the actions of sapient entities on Earth. It claims that it does not have immediate access to all of this information simultaneously, and must mentally search for information it wants. Further, it claims that information becomes more difficult to access the less relevant the information is to evaluating a person's overall moral character or the holiday season generally. The Foundation has found no evidence in interactions with SCP-4089 which would cast doubt on these claims.

SCP-4089 primarily lives in and operates out of an extra-dimensional space, designated SCP-4089-1. SCP-4089-1 is accessible through two portals in baseline reality. One is in Lapland, near the border between Finland and Norway. The other is 79 meters away from the geographic North Pole. These portals possess a perceptual property that renders them unnoticeable unless one is already aware of them or within about nine meters of them. 
The interior of SCP-4089-1 is a 3.36 hectare (8.3 acre) circular clearing in a forest, and is in an apparent state of perpetual winter. In this clearing, are multiple buildings, including stables, residential areas, and a large workshop. The forest surrounding SCP-4089-1 is comprised of various species of conifer trees, all of which are decorated in the manner of Christmas trees. Attempting to walk through the forest results in one emerging from the opposite side of SCP-4089-1.

The workshop within SCP-4089-1 is used for the production of gifts, designated SCP-4089-2. SCP-4089-2 instances are usually toys or games, however other gifts, including but not limited to clothing, electronics, tools, books, gift cards, and, very rarely, weapons[[footnote]]See archived news report "Human Trafficking Victims Acquire Guns on Christmas, Escape from Captors"[[/footnote]], have been documented. SCP-4089-2 instances possess a self-rationalizing perceptual anomaly: individuals will either form false memories to justify or simply not recognize any logical inconsistencies regarding how the SCP-4089-2 instance was acquired. The most common expression of this anomaly is when a child is given an instance during a Noel event. The child's parents or guardians will form a false memory of acquiring the gift themselves. In cases where the guardians are very neglectful, abusive, or impoverished, neither the guardians or the child will consider that the gift-giving might be implausible for the guardian. In many cases an abusive or negligent guardian will not even notice the instance.

SCP-4089 employs a large contingent of faeries to assist it in the production of SCP-4089-2 instances. A wide variety of fae species are employed, with a slight majority of Germanic wood elves[[footnote]]For more information on the employee demographics and production methods employed, see the SCP-4089-2 supplemental document. For more information on fae species, see //The SCP Foundation Unified Guide to the Fae//, 5th edition, 2004, SCP Foundation Press.[[/footnote]]. It is known that SCP-4089-1 contains several thaumaturgical ways to various fae enclaves. The Foundation is not permitted to know the locations of these ways due to treaties between the Foundation and the fae territories in question. 

SCP-4089 owns a population of 21 anomalous reindeer (//Rangifer tarandus//), designated SCP-4089-3. SCP-4089-3 instances are capable of self-levitation and are significantly more intelligent than baseline reindeer, being well-trained and highly responsive to commands. Instances are physiologically indistinguishable from baseline reindeer[[footnote]]With one notable exception, see the SCP-4089-3 supplementary document for more details.[[/footnote]]. The offspring of an SCP-4089-3 instance and a non-anomalous reindeer is always an SCP-4089-3 instance, a trait SCP-4089 employs to maintain healthy genetic diversity in its herd.

On December 24 of each year, SCP-4089 performs a Noel Event. SCP-4089's reality bending capabilities grow in strength over the course of roughly two months leading up to December 24, though they are still restricted to producing holiday related effects. By the time of the Noel event, it's powerful enough to grant itself the ability to pass through solid matter, become invisible, conceal the sound of its own movement, and be present in multiple locations simultaneously. It employs these abilities to travel around the planet and deliver SCP-4089-2 instances to, so far as can be determined, every child on Earth aged 12 or younger. Each child receives a single SCP-4089-2 instance which was specifically created based on that child's interests, desires, and needs. SCP-4089-2 instances are given to some individuals in the 13-17 age range, if SCP-4089 conceives of a gift idea that it thinks would be particularly beneficial to the individual. 

SCP-4089, and in particular its ability to perform Noel events, are closely connected to the conceptual basis of Christmas. If SCP-4089 were unable to perform annual Noel events, the concept of Christmas would be greatly diminished both in metaphysical space[[footnote]]The plane of existence on which concepts objectively exist, independently of the cognition of intelligent beings. [[/footnote]] and in the human noosphere[[footnote]]The sum total of all ideas that are possible for humans to have.[[/footnote]]. The result of these changes would be a dramatic decrease in worldwide societal interest in Christmas. Further, there most likely would be a smaller but noticeable degradation of concepts closely associated with Christmas, such as gift-giving, meeting with family and friends, goodwill towards others, and the birth of Jesus Christ.

[[collapsible show="+ Interview with SCP-4089" hideLocation="both" hide="- Hide"]]
> //The following interview was taken shortly after the signing of the Silent Night agreement. The interviewer is Dr. Benjamin Grant, meeting SCP-4089 in its workshop.//
> ------
> [BEGIN LOG]
> **SCP-4089**: Ah, hello Doctor. Please take a seat.
> **Grant**: Thank you.
> //Dr. Grant chuckles.//
> **Grant**: I was a big fan of yours as a kid.
> //SCP-4089 begins laughing.//
> **SCP-4089**: Ho ho ho, that's a good one! Having the Foundation around may be a bit more enjoyable than I feared.
> **Grant**: Well, I can say that we'll try to make our arrangement as pleasant to both parties as possible. May I ask some questions?
> **SCP-4089**: Of course.
> **Grant**: How and when did you become Santa Claus?
> **SCP-4089**: Well, that's a bit of a tricky question. I suppose I could say that this Santa got his start eleven years ago.
> **Grant**: What do you mean "this Santa?"
> **SCP-4089**: When I die or retire, someone out there will become me. There's also a 125 year term limit, so some super long-lived fairy or something doesn't monopolize the position.
> **Grant**: Alright, so Santa Claus is a title?
> **SCP-4089**: No, I remember being them, or rather I remember them being me. Santa me, not original me.
> **Grant**: So Santa Claus is a personality that occupies different bodies?
> **SCP-4089**: No. Santa isn't a person, he's like a person-modifier. How do I explain this... Santa is like a big heavy coat.
> //SCP-4089 gestures to it's own coat.//
> **SCP-4089**: When you put it on, you're still inside the coat, but the coat is covering most of you up.
> **Grant**: I see.
> **SCP-4089**: Wait, no, better analogy. Santa Claus is a person-mold. You have to pour a person into it, so the person is still there, but the mold made them Santa-shaped. Does that make sense?
> **Grant**: Yes, I think it does. How many Santas have their been?
> **SCP-4089**: A bunch. A Greek saint, an elf nobleman, a reality bender who wanted to help people, and a whole load of people who really loved Christmas. 39, in total, and that's not counting special circumstances, like the year I was indisposed and [http://www.scp-wiki.net/dr-wondertainment-hub a very passionate toy-maker we both know] took over.
> **Grant**: Huh, I, uh, imagine I'm going to need to ask you more about that in the future. But for now, who were you before you made this transformation?
> **SCP-4089**: Maria Berrada. I actually have a picture of myself from before. 
> //The picture shown to Dr. Grant was positively identified as Maria Berrada, a retired Spanish elementary school teacher of Moroccan descent.//
> **Grant**: Interesting. How did you get this position?
> //SCP-4089 shrugs.//
> **SCP-4089**: They picked me.
> **Grant**: "They?"
> **SCP-4089**: I don't know who they are. I don't know if it's a group who picks, or just one person. Actually, I don't even know if it's a person, it could be an automatic process. I do know that I was given a chance to decline the offer, and that before I die or retire, I'll learn who my replacement is.
> **Grant**: I believe that answers all my questions for today. Thank you.
> **SCP-4089**: You're welcome. Merry Christmas.
> [END LOG]
[[/collapsible]] 

**Discovery:**  When [[[SCP-239]]] was introduced to the concept of Santa Claus against protocol, there was an immediate concern that it may have used its reality bending abilities to actualize Santa Claus. This concern was justified when a Santa-like entity which evaded initial containment efforts appeared near Site-17. However, it was determined that this entity was only a non-sapient, transient manifestation of SCP-239's abilities, and only existed as long as SCP-239 was actively considering the idea of Santa Claus. As SCP-239 was put in an induced coma before the next Christmas season, this entity is no longer a concern. However, a plan to locate and contain Santa Claus or an entity akin to Santa Claus was drafted before this was determined. The plan went unused until 11/14/79, when O5-12 argued that Santa Claus existing was a possibility that the Foundation should take seriously. Her proposal to carry out the plan was approved, leading to the discovery of SCP-4089 on 11/26/79. SCP-4089 anticipated the Foundation's arrival, and had created numerous thaumaturgic wards protecting SCP-4089-1. A team of Foundation thaumatologists was brought in to dispel the wards, but SCP-4089 was able to quickly create new wards to replace those the thaumatologists dismantled. This led to an eight day long siege of SCP-4089-1, during which the Foundation and SCP-4089 communicated through video broadcasts. Foundation attempts to convince SCP-4089 to surrender itself to containment were unsuccessful. On the ninth day, SCP-4089 initiated the following broadcast.

[[collapsible show="+ Broadcast from SCP-4089" hideLocation="both" hide="- Hide"]]
> [BEGIN LOG]
> //SCP-4089 is standing in a room with a large thaumaturgic diagram drawn on the wall behind it.//
> **SCP-4089**: Hey there Foundation. I'll get straight to the point, I've been trying to get you all to leave me be for the past week, and I'm getting tired of it, so now I'm bringing out my best argument. Behind me is what one of your wizards would recognize is a great big geas I prepared. For those not magically inclined, I'm about to make a promise, and if I break that promise, I'll instantly die. I'll let you take a good look at it, so you know there's no funny business going on.
> //SCP-4089 steps aside so the view of the diagram is unobstructed. A Foundation thaumatologist confirms that the geas is genuine and functional.//
> //SCP-4089 places its palms against the diagram and speaks several thaumaturgic incantations. It then speaks in English.//
> **SCP-4089**: I'm about to take someone on a trip. I swear that no harm will come to this person on the trip, and I will not attempt to deceive this person in any way on the trip. While on the trip, I will make an argument.  When the person is returned, their opinions will be entirely their own, not influenced by me through any kind of magical, reality-altering, or psychic influence. On this promise I stake my life.
> //A pattern of flashes confirms the completion of the geas. SCP-4089 takes a deep breath, snaps its fingers, and vanishes. The broadcast ends.// 
> [END LOG]
[[/collapsible]]

At this time, O5-12, observing the situation remotely, vanished as well. She reappeared 6 minutes later, holding a VHS tape. She claimed to have been taken on a journey by SCP-4089, and that the tape was a recording of the journey. The following is a transcript of the tape's contents.

[[collapsible show="+ Transcript of recovered tape" hideLocation="both" hide="- Hide"]]
> [BEGIN LOG]
> //SCP-4089 and O5-12 are sitting in a sleigh being drawn by eight SCP-4089-3 instances through a featureless void. There is no apparent light source in the scene. In spite of this the sleigh, it's inhabitants, and the reindeer are clearly visible.//
> ------
> **O5-12**: What the hell?!
> **SCP-4089**: Hello there.
> **O5-12**: What did you do?
> **SCP-4089**: You were watching the broadcast, were you not? I'm taking you on a trip, to make my case that the Foundation ought to let me work in peace.
> **O5-12**: If you think demonstrating the ability to kidnap an O5 at will is going to get you leniency, you are sorely mistaken.
> **SCP-4089**: Oh I can't do this at will. My reality bending powers can only be used for things that are thematically appropriate for the Christmas season. Plus, this is really hard, it's probably going to take two or three days off my lifespan.
> **O5-12**: And why would I believe that?
> **SCP-4089**: Because if I lied I'd be dead right now. Remember that I'm under a geas, and we'll avoid a lot of unnecessary questions.
> **O5-12**: Well, if you're telling the truth, how is kidnapping someone associated with Christmas?
> **SCP-4089**: Kidnapping isn't, but taking someone on a supernatural journey through time to gain a greater perspective? A couple of the greatest Christmas stories of all time put that solidly in my wheelhouse.
> **O5-12**: You mean... Ok. So what, you're here to teach me the true meaning of Christmas?
> **SCP-4089**: There is no true meaning of Christmas. For every culture, time period, organization, family, and individual, Christmas means something different.
> **O5-12**: That's an interesting sentiment, coming from you.
> **SCP-4089**: It's the truth. Say, I'd like to ask you a question. I think I know the answer, but I want to hear it in your words.
> **O5-12**: Very well.
> **SCP-4089**: Why do you want to contain me? I don't hurt anyone, and I give presents to kids.
> **O5-12**: If you think that I'm going to go to bed tonight with a smile on my face because I locked up Santa Claus, you're wrong. But it is the Foundation's duty to contain anomalies and protect normalcy. We don't choose to not contain an anomaly because we like it. That's not who we are. There are many anomalies we'd love to share with the world, but we don't because none of those are worth sacrificing humanity's ability to live in a sane, normal universe. So we don't judge whether an anomaly is good or bad, we just contain //every// anomaly. And it's these principles that keep us from simply being an organization that exercises its enormous power arbitrarily.
> **SCP-4089**: That's fair I suppose, but it also means that you don't contain for containing's sake, your goal is to protect normalcy. Therefore, shouldn't it follow that if containing me would do more damage to normalcy than not, you should leave me be?
> **O5-12**: Perhaps, but that would be a difficult thing to prove.
> **SCP-4089**: Yeah, it will be. So, here's the deal. I'm deeply connected to the concept of Christmas, and I mean that literally. If I stop doing my job, I'm not Santa in a meaningful sense, and so Santa doesn't exist in a meaningful sense. This will break down the concept of Christmas in such a way that, over the next 20 or 30 years, people's interest in Christmas will shrink to almost nothing. No new holiday or tradition will emerge to fill the void either, the whole conceptual space Christmas occupies will be poisoned.
> **O5-12**: Christmas... is not an unacceptable sacrifice, especially if its loss would be as gradual as you describe.
> **SCP-4089**: I figured you'd say something like that, which is why you're here. Earlier you asked if I was going to teach you the true meaning of Christmas. Actually, I'm going to teach you what Christmas means to the SCP Foundation.
> //The sleigh seems to "land" and "stop," despite no apparent surfaces being present to land on. A door materializes behind the sleigh. SCP-4089 steps out of the sleigh and gestures to O5-12 to follow.//
> **SCP-4089**: Here is our first stop.
> //SCP-4089 walks over to the door and opens it. A bright light shines through the doorway. O5-12 walks over to the door, and both walk through, the camera's perspective following.//
> ------
> //SCP-4089 and O5-12 are now standing in an office building. Signage on a bulletin board indicates that this is an office of the Records and Information Security Administration (RAISA), and that it is December 20, 1997.//
> **SCP-4089**: Don't worry, no one can see or hear us, because we aren't truly here. This is a projection of an event in a possible future, one where you lock me up. I brought you here to see this.
> //A woman walks down an aisle and turns into a cubicle near where SCP-4089 and O5-12 are standing. A man is sitting in the cubicle, working on a personal computer.//
> **Woman**: Hey Dex. Uh... How's it going? 
> **Dex**: I need a stiff drink. Does that answer your question?
> **Woman**: That bad?
> **Dex**: Worse than usual. 
> **Woman**: Well, Yuki, Harrison, and I are about to take a break, and meet up. You're welcome to join, of course.
> **Dex**: Thanks for the offer Julie, but I'll pass. I'd just bring the mood down.
> **Julie**: Well, if you change your mind, come. Are you doing anything interesting soon? Christmas party, or something?
> **Dex**: Nah, my family isn't really celebrating Christmas this year.
> **Julie**: Yeah, mine neither.
> //The woman walks away. The man rubs his face for several seconds, then gets up and follows the woman. O5-12 walks into the man's cubicle, and sees that he is working on a report entitled "Suicide Rates Among Foundation Personnel over the Past 5 Years." O5-12 reads the abstract of the report, indicating an average suicide rate of █.█% per year, with 1997 having an even higher rate of █.█%.//
> **O5-12**: Jesus, he was right. This is exceptionally bad, even for us.
> //SCP-4089 pulls a sheet of paper from its coat and hands it to O5-12.//
> **SCP-4089**: Here's the same report, made by the same person, from the timeline where you allow me to continue my yearly deliveries. 
> //This report indicates a significantly smaller 5 year average of █.█%, with 1997 being below that average with █.█%.//
> **O5-12**: So you're going to attribute the difference to Christmas? All these people killed themselves over Christmas?
> **SCP-4089**: A bit oversimplified, but not entirely wrong. Foundation employees must often put their sense of well-being, their sanity, their lives, sometimes more, on the line in defense of the world. But, in order for this to happen, the world has to seem worth it. When they step out of the sites and areas and return to the world they protect, they need to be reminded of what they love. And Christmas does a great job of that doesn't it? Time with family and friends, giving and receiving gifts, goodwill towards man, these are some of the things that make the fight worthwhile. Humanity has them year-round, but they're easiest to see in the Christmas season. So, it doesn't matter what time of year it is, I'd say the Foundation is fighting for Christmas every day. If that goes, there are consequences. Come, we have three more stops before you return.
> //SCP-4089 leads O5-12 to the door of a utility closet. He opens the door, and a bright white light shines through the doorframe. They walk through and the camera follows.//
> ------
> //The two are now standing in a hallway, with a large Foundation logo on one wall. SCP-4089 entreats O5-12 to follow it. They move through two halls and down a flight of stairs.//
> **O5-12**: I know these halls. They're different from how I recall, but this must be Site-17.
> **SCP-4089**: That it is. Site-17 in the year 2017 to be precise.
> //As the two progress down another hallway, a song becomes audible. The song is "A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives.//
> **O5-12**: So, I suppose this is the future where you get your way?
> **SCP-4089**: You're two for two.
> //SCP-4089 opens a door leading into the Site-17 cafeteria. A large banner reading "Happy Holidays Site-17!" hangs from the ceiling. A Christmas party is being held, with numerous personnel attending. Notably, many sapient anomalies contained at Site 17 are also in attendance, each being supervised by a guard and wearing a badge clearly indicating their SCP designation. Though most of these had not been contained when the video was obtained, all have since been identified.//
> //SCP-4089 and O5-12 walk through the crowd. Researchers, guards, and anomalies are socializing, playing games, and eating. Another door to the cafeteria opens and approximately 40 D-Class personnel enter, escorted by guards. A cheer starts among the crowd. A nearby researcher speaks to an agent.//
> **Researcher**: The party hasn't started 'til the D-boys show up. 
> //SCP-4089 and O5-12 watch as three D-Class personnel are invited to join a game of poker with a researcher, [[[SCP-527]]], [[[SCP-3988]]], and [[[SCP-3908]]]. The players gamble with Hershey's Kiss candies rather than currency. O5-12 turns and speaks to SCP-4089.//
> **O5-12**: What are we here for? What point are you trying to make?
> **SCP-4089**: We can talk about that in a bit. For now, let's just watch the festivities. Whatever catches your eye, go look.
> //O5-12 surveys the area, and moves toward a table with refreshments. [[[SCP-2020]]] is speaking to [[[SCP-073]]] and [[[SCP-105]]].//
> **SCP-2020**: Wow, okay, just had an even better idea. I guess this isn't really a sci-fi story, but it kind of blurs the line between sci-fi and fantasy, but with a sci-fi feel. So there's this big secret organization that collects weird stuff, Area 51 style. Cliche, right?
> //SCP-073 appears slightly bemused. SCP-105's body language suggests it wants to exit the conversation, but can't find a way to do so tactfully. SCP-2020's guard is suppressing a laugh while drinking punch.//
> **SCP-2020**: So these guys find out that Santa is real! Yeah, this is a Christmas story! So they gear up to go lock up Santa, but then Santa takes one of the group's big bosses on a magical journey and convinces him - actually wait no it'd be good if the big boss was a girl. So he convinces her to let him keep delivering presents and saves Christmas. Cliche right? But cliche in a good way, I think, because it makes it a Christmas story, not just a story that has Santa in it. What do you think?
> **SCP-105**: Uhh, yeah that sounds good Izzy.
> **SCP-2020**: Wait, new idea: [http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-4666 Santa, but evil!]
> //[[[SCP-2800]]] approaches from behind SCP-2020 and speaks to it.//
> **SCP-2800**: Hey Bobby, someone wants to meet Iris and Cain, so I'm going to take them to him, and then I'll come back and listen to your new idea.
> **SCP-2020**: Sure, I can wait. Have fun, guys.
> //The three walk away, and O5-12 and SCP-4089 follow.//
> **SCP-105**: Thank you.
> **SCP-2800**: No need to thank me. Cactusman is always ready to lend a hand.
> //O5-12 and SCP-4089 slow and stop, allowing the three to walk away.//
> **O5-12**: What on earth was that SCP-2020? Did he know about us?
> **SCP-4089**: Ho, ho, ho, he's a character isn't he? I don't //think// he knows what he's talking about. I could be wrong though.
> //O5-12 notices a group of individuals who seem to be circled around something. Upon approaching, the individuals, which include two researchers, two agents, [[[SCP-3619]]], and [[[SCP-2842]]], are seen to be listening intently to a sitting D-Class personnel, D-451.//
> **D-451**: So there I was, in the final puzzle, feeling like I had figured it out. The TVs responded to sounds, and the rods were a musical staff. I'd use the control panel to move the TVs on the rods and put them in the position of the notes of the little jingle that played when I solved the last two puzzles. I'd get out of that damn cube and be thankful I had played piano in high school. But as soon as I had gotten the last TV into position, four hatches opened on the walls and hundreds of brute-forcers started pouring into the pit my platform was above. This created a lot of noise, and then, about 50 feet above my platform, these huge fans came out of the walls of the shaft and started blowing, making even more noise. The TVs were going crazy, no way could my voice cut through all that ruckus. At this point, one of the brute-forcers managed to clamber up to my platform. He took a swipe at my knee, but I dodged it and stuck my hand in his chest. All his limbs froze and his chest turned transparent so I could solve his puzzle, as usual. A bunch of weird-shaped tiles appeared and a weird-shaped hole opened in his back. I realized I had to fit the tiles together like puzzle pieces and fill the hole. I did, and all his limbs retracted and he started pulsating. Apparently a bomb was my reward for the solution. I looked around, and a group was getting pretty close to my platform, so I threw my bomb at them. I aimed high and to the left, thought I had wasted my chance, but then the bomb curled in the air and hit the group, blew them right off the wall. I turned around to try and figure out how to cancel all the noise, and that's when it hit me. The first challenge which played off my familiarity with Indiana Jones, my favorite movies. The way the path out of the second challenge opened just before I put the last sword in its slot. The way I could figure out the third challenge because I knew how to read music, and the way the bomb curved to go where I wanted it to go. The act of solving a puzzle is in the mind, so Puzzlemaster was in my head, using what he learned to make the challenges. As soon as I realized that, the TVs became calm, they weren't reacting to noise any more. And I thought the notes. The fans stopped and the brute-forcers stopped moving. Puzzle solved.
> //D-451 receives light applause and assorted expressions of amazement from the listeners. SCP-3619, whose head is rotating away from D-451, speaks.//
> **SCP-3619**: I don't want you to think I'm not paying attention to you, because that is seriously one of the coolest stories I've ever heard.
> **D-419**: Nah man, I get you can't control it. And thanks.
> **Agent**: You ought to be proud. You handled yourself like an absolute pro.
> **SCP-2842**: What happened next?
> **D-419**: Puzzlemaster came down, congratulated me, gave me the prize, and let me out. I got to hand it to the scorpion-looking bastard, when he subjects people to life threatening challenges he does at least give a prize that's good enough to fit the stakes. I can't tell you all what it is, but I can say the Foundation has saved over 30 lives with it.
> **Agent**: Ha, and I bet you think you just happened to get sent here.
> **D-419**: What do you mean?
> **Agent**: I mean that D-Class don't just get assigned to cushy positions like Site-17 by chance. You being here is a reward. Let's go get some more drinks.
> //The group starts to disperse. SCP-4089 speaks to O5-12, who is smiling.//
> **SCP-4089**: Are functions like this one permitted by the Foundation, strictly speaking?
> **O5-12**: Low-risk sapient anomalies are permitted socialization privileges... but in controlled areas, and generally not with staff. So no, this isn't quite up to code.
> **SCP-4089**: Are you aware that parties like this take place?
> **O5-12**: Yes.
> **SCP-4089**: Do you try to stop them from taking place?
> **O5-12**: No, not generally.
> **SCP-4089**: Why is that?
> **O5-12**: Our people are professional and intelligent enough to know how to do it safely, and it's good for morale.
> **SCP-4089**: I think it's more than that. You've seen other universes, many with Foundations of their own. The Foundation needs to be detached and uncaring a lot, but I think you've seen [http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1730 what happens when the Foundation entirely abandons its humanity, kindness, and warmth.] And so you turn a blind eye to your contained SCPs being invited to Christmas parties. Is that fair to say?
> **O5-12**: I suppose it is. I also suppose we're moving on now?
> //SCP-4089 nods, and walks towards a door to the kitchen, and O5-12 follows. Upon opening the door, a bright white light shines through. SCP-4089 and O5-12 walk through.//
> ------
> //The two individuals are now standing in a Foundation site, in an apparent state of high alert. A voice plays over the intercom.//
> **Intercom**: SCP-6839 has breached containment. Remain in or locate a safe room. Access a computer terminal for anti-cognitohazard therapy if you suspect you've been exposed.
> //A loud, rhythmic drumming sound is audible, and seems to come from beyond the walls on O5-12's left side.//
> **SCP-4089**: I had to adjust this scene, clean up the sound to keep that thing's drumming from being as dangerous as it is. I changed nothing else though. Come this way.
> //SCP-4089 and O5-12 walk down a hallway and turn a corner, to see the corpse of a Foundation researcher on the floor.//
> **SCP-4089**: I don't know how this is connected to Christmas. I was able to find this event, so I know it is somehow, but I couldn't explain whatever chain of cause and effect led to this. Dr. Rafiq here didn't even celebrate Christmas. All I know is that the Dr. Rafiq who went to his friend's Christmas party came up with a way to re-contain that thing in 15 minutes, and this Dr. Rafiq didn't.
> **O5-12**: Why are you showing me this? It doesn't seem like particularly compelling support for your argument, you even admit as much.
> **SCP-4089**: When I first found this, I wasn't going to show it to you, until I realized there may be a lesson to be learned here. You know doubt are familiar with Chaos theory?
> **O5-12**: I am. I think I know where you're going with this.
> **SCP-4089**: In a complicated and interconnected system, any change can have consequences that are hard to predict, and may be felt in places that seem totally unrelated to the original change. The classic example is a butterfly's wing flaps affecting the direction of a tornado. I think the lesson here is that the brain is such a system. Christmas may not seem important to this containment breach, but some memory Rafiq made at the Christmas party led to something, which led to something, and so on, until he has an inspired idea and saves the day. Christmas isn't a butterfly flapping its wings, it's a whole month or more of songs, advertisements, ideas, decorations, social events, and greetings. The repercussions of its loss will be big, and unpredictable, and only get bigger and more unpredictable as time goes on.
> **O5-12**: That's true, but for such a complicated system, one couldn't predict whether or not the effects would be good or bad just as much as one couldn't predict the effects themselves. It's just as likely that the loss of Christmas would end up being helpful in another containment breach.
> **SCP-4089**: I thought of that too, so I did some investigating. I found 49 events where the outcome was affected by the loss of Christmas like this one, and 31 of them were made worse for the Foundation by the loss of Christmas, so it actually does seem like maintaining Christmas is a net positive for the Foundation, when it comes to these kinds of connections. I took some notes on them, I'll give them to you after we return to the real world.
> **O5-12**: That... will be interesting to see.
> //The drumming sound becomes louder.//
> **O5-12**: Seems like we should go.
> **SCP-4089**: I think you're right. Only one more stop to go.
> //SCP-4089 opens a door to an office, and a bright white light shines through. The two walk through.//
> ------
> //O5-12 and SCP-4089 are standing outside, on a street in a suburban neighborhood. It's the evening, and snowing. Several houses on the street are adorned with Christmas lights and decorations. A girl of Japanese descent, approximately 13-14 years of age, walks down the street, crying. She passes a house and the house's door opens. A hispanic girl of similar age comes out the door before chasing after the first girl.//
> **Second Girl**: Hey, wait up! It's me, Laura!
> **First Girl**: Oh, hey, what is it?
> **Laura**: What's wrong, what happened?
> **First Girl**: Oh nothing, I just totally blew it with Jerry. Looked like an absolute idiot.
> **Laura**: Hey, well you know what? My older cousin Susana, she told me that stuff like that is almost never as bad as it seems. Jerry's a laid-back guy, I'm sure he doesn't think it was that big a deal, whatever happened. 
> **First Girl**: It's not just Jerry. It's everything. My grades have been going down because everything's piling up, I broke my foot, and now it's looking like Dad's going to lose his job again. All in like a month. I'm so sick of it, it feels like God hates me or something.
> //The first girl starts crying harder, while the second girl tries to comfort her.//
> **Laura**: Hey, my family are going to have our Christmas dinner a bit early. You wanna come, if my parents say it's okay? I bet they will!
> **First Girl**: I appreciate the offer, but, you don't need to do that because you feel bad for me.
> **Laura**: This isn't me feeling bad for you, this is just me seeing that you need something good to happen to you right now.
> **First Girl**: Well... Okay. If your parents and my parents are ok with it, I'll come.
> **Laura**: Great, come in so you can call your folks.
> //The two girls walk into the house. SCP-4089 begins speaking.//
> **SCP-4089**: Their parents were okay with it. That girl had a great time. A little thing like a dinner can have a big impact on someone going through a hard time. And eventually she joins the Foundation as a researcher, a good one.
> **O5-12**: So if we contain you, she doesn't get invited to the dinner, and doesn't join the Foundation?
> **SCP-4089**: No. If you contain me, her friend still makes an effort to cheer her up, but not in quite such a memorable way, because there is no dinner to invite her too. But she gets recruited by the Foundation either way. The difference is that the girl who went to the Christmas party came into the Foundation wanting to protect the world.
> //SCP-4089 walks towards the house's door. Upon opening it, bright white light shines through.//
> **SCP-4089**: The girl who didn't, she came into the Foundation wanting to fix the world.
> //SCP-4089 and O5-12 walk through.//
> //The two are now standing in what seems to be a basement. A man, flanked by two guards is sitting at a table in the room. A woman of Japanese descent in her late 20s enters the room with a messenger bag.//
> **Man**: Hey there. Have you got something nice for me?
> **Woman**: Sure do.
> //The woman places the messenger bag on the table. One guard raises his firearm while the other opens the bag. He pulls out a stack of files that are revealed to be classified Foundation documents on closer inspection.//
> **Man**: These are nice, but, and forgive me if I sound demanding, but I was expecting something a bit more substantive.
> **Woman**: Check again. Hidden pocket on the back side.
> //Upon further inspection, the guard removes a hand sieve, since identified as [[[SCP-3324]]].//
> **Man**: A sieve?
> **Woman**: It's more useful than it looks.
> //The woman picks the SCP-3324 file out of the pile, and hands it to the man. The man begins to read the file. O5-12 speaks.//
> **O5-12**: What's your angle here? Foundation personnel defecting to other groups isn't tremendously uncommon or surprising.  Not a strong point to end your argument on. What's special here?
> **SCP-4089**: Nothing gets past you, does it? Yes, there is something special about this particular betrayal. I can't explain myself too much, as I don't wish to interfere with the timeline more than I have to.
> //SCP-4089 takes a deep breath.//
> **SCP-4089**: What I'm about to say, I'm going to say very specifically, so it can be clearly interpreted in light of the geas I'm under. In my sincere opinion, out of all the Foundation employees in history who could have defected to a rival organization, she is the worst possible one for the Foundation.
> //The man finishes reading.//
> **Man**: Very impressive. How do you expect you'll be working for us?
> **Woman**: I think it'd be best for me to continue my work at the Foundation, and feed you information.
> **Man**: We always have a use for moles. Very well. [http://www.scp-wiki.net/kate-mctiriss-s-proposal Dr. Mary Nakayama], welcome to the Chaos Insurgency.
> //The man and woman shake hands and leave the room, followed by the guards.//
> //SCP-4089 walks to a door and opens it. No light seems to be passing through the doorway. O5-12 walks through, and SCP-4089 follows.//
> ------
> //The two are now back in the featureless void. The sleigh and SCP-4089-3 instances are present, as they were left.// 
> **SCP-4089**: Are you ready to return?
> **O5-12**: Yes. Let's go save Christmas.
> //SCP-4089 smiles. Both walk to the sleigh and get in.//
> **SCP-4089**: Say, do you want to take the reigns?
> **O5-12**: Afraid I don't know how to drive a sleigh.
> **SCP-4089**: Don't worry, they know where to go.
> //SCP-4089 offers the reigns. O5-12 briefly hesitates, before accepting them. She swings the reigns, and the SCP-4089-3 instances begin to gallop and then "take off," carrying the sleigh behind them.//
> [END LOG]
[[/collapsible]]

Following the review of the tape, the O5 council and SCP-4089 negotiated the Silent Night Agreement.

[[collapsible show="+ Content Restricted, LEVEL 5 CLEARANCE REQUIRED" hideLocation="both" hide="- Hide"]]
On 12/25/79, O5-12 discovered a small, box wrapped in the style of a Christmas gift in her office.
When opened by Site-01 security, the box was found to contain a small piece of anthracite coal, and a note. Upon O5-12 making direct visual contact with the coal, she became aware of a piece of actionable intelligence that was subsequently used in a raid on the Chaos Insurgency. She has received a new piece of actionable intelligence in the same manner every December 25th since. These pieces of information have been useful against Marshall, Carter, and Dark Ltd., The Chaos Insurgency, The Factory, Are We Cool Yet?, Neo-Sarkic Sects, the Children of the Scarlet King, and other highly dangerous groups. No actionable information has been provided to date that could be used against groups which could be considered relatively "benign" or "moral," such as the Serpent's Hand, Dr. Wondertainment, Gamers Against Weed, and relatively peaceful Mekhanite and Proto-Sarkic sects.
The note read:
> //Merry Christmas Veronica.//
The piece of coal has been designated SCP-4089-4.
[[/collapsible]]

**Addendum - Recent Update on the Status of SCP-4089**: After several months of increasingly severe symptoms, SCP-4089 became bedridden due to complications of old age. Several fae and Foundation medical professionals had been providing palliative care to SCP-4089. On 11/16/18, SCP-4089 was seen to begin emitting white light, before appearing to transform into an elderly woman of Moroccan descent, who fell unconscious and expired 14 minutes later. Her last words were reportedly "Wow, what a great choice."
6 minutes later, [[[SCP-3355]]], a sapient computer program who attempts to deliver Christmas presents to disadvantaged children in the Chicago area in spite of its computer's extremely limited active memory, appeared to cease all activity. Several individuals in SCP-4089's employ were seen carrying electronics obtained through unclear means, including parts consistent with the construction of androids and a CPU with a Random Access Memory estimated to be in excess of 200 TB. The Foundation received the following message through the direct line used by SCP-4089:
> This is the best damn thing that's ever happened to anyone.
> Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
Updates will be provided as the situation develops.
[[/tab]]





[[tab Previews of Coming Attractions]]
Here are some excerpts from the draft in my gmail account titled "SCP Ideas." Some have been modified somewhat for this section. 

Cross Universe Shirt
Security camera and field
Planetoid Pickers
Exits to the labyrinth
OVRSOON
School/National Anthem/Black entity
Average of 2 phone numbers
Fiction Drive
Commercial Hour
Dr. Wondertainment wants you to see it his way.
Sex-in-a-can
Opportunity Reactivates
Pokegods
The Speedrunner
Our World is Wondrous
Fifteen-fold treason
Bodysnatching is the Sincerest form of Flattery
The Bands and the Bees
Folks in this town just shouldn't have kids
Mr. Loss by Gamers Against Weed
Poop goes in the toilet
It has Been [000] Days Since Dr. Wondertainment Got Angry (Tale)
The Bride, or an unconventional use of True Love's Kiss
Second Chance Redistributor
The Black Knight
The Field Pyramid's Algorithm
A-Button Conservation
Justice For The Babies (Tale)
Dr. Wondertainment's Funtime Factory Fighters! (Tale)
Video of a Mirror
To Quiet the Screams
Pattern Memers

**Z. Saxon's Proposal - The Last Pallbearer**

[[/tab]]





[[tab Break Glass in Case of Inactivity]]
I adore SCP fiction and this community. I find it difficult to believe I'd ever permanently lose interest, but you never know. If I become inactive for 1.75 continuous years, and any of my works become considered not up to community standards for whatever reason, I give my blessing for any experienced author to attempt a rewrite. 
[[/tab]]
[[/tabview]]