Link to article: Dr. Edison's Bargain Bin of Direct-to-Forum Sequels.
[[>]] [[module Rate]] [[/>]] When I see a tale that I feel particularly strongly about, I occasionally write a short, spur-of-the-moment-"sequel" and post it on the tale's discussion page. It's kind of the end result of the Foundation not having any set canon; everything written about it is equally valid, even the stupid stuff. But it's getting kind of hard to find them again, so I figure I might as well put them all in one place. I don't claim these are the funniest things I've ever written, in fact I'd have to say this it the literary equivalent of a deep fried snickers bar. But hey; they're my stories, and no matter how stupid they are I think they need to be written down somewhere. Apologies in advance to the people who wrote the original stories. I sincerely thank you for not hunting me down and stringing me up by the town hall. -Edrobot + Cut Short ++ Sequel to [[[The Long Con]]] [[collapsible show="+ Show" hide="- Hide"]] > Keats was in his study, strangling a puppy, when suddenly Dr. Clef burst through the stained-glass window with a helicopter. "Drop the kitten, Keats!" he screamed. "I came here to do two things: Chew bubble gum and kick ass! And I decided to save the bubble gum for afterwards!" > "Impossible!" said Keats. "I trapped you in a building with an infinite number of cloned SCP-173s! How on earth did you survive!" > "It wasn't easy." said Clef, "But after days of trial and error, and thousands of casualties, we discovered that SCP-173 has a fatal weakness to guns and bullets!" > "Of course!" Keats exclaimed, "The one thing no one else had tried!" And he was so angry that he decided to shoot Delivery Agent Roadrunner with his sniper rifle for no good reason. He then held up the puppy and said "Stand back! If you shoot me, you'll shoot this puppy too!" > "THAT'S A SACRIFICE I'LL HAVE TO MAKE FOR THE GOOD OF THE FREE WORLD! AND PROBABLY SOME OF THE PARTS THAT ARN'T FREE EITHER!" and then Clef shot Keats and the puppy with a machine gun untill they both died. > "Tell me-" said Keats. "You could not have done this alone! Who set you up to this?" > "That is a secret to everyone." Said Clef. And then Keats died. "Mission accomplished." said Clef. "Keats is dead." > Meanwhile, in his secret Tropical Base, the incredibly studly and hansome Dr. Edison answered the radio while lounging in his big pile of money. "Of course he is. I planned it that way. All of my plans go that way beacuse I am the greatest researcher of all time. Now if you excuse me, I need to stop the Chaos Insurgency from stealing the economy of Russia." And then he left to go do just that. [[/collapsible]] + Dr. Edison: Alien Blaster ++ Sequel to [[[We Have Dismissed That Claim]]] [[collapsible show="+ Show" hide="- Hide"]] > Suddenly, Dr. Rex panicked as the Destroyers' UFO landed on his house. > > "PUNY HUMANS!" said one of the destroyers "WE ARE HERE TO VAPORIZE MOST OF YOU AND SEND THE REST TO OUR SPICE MINES ON RIGEL V!" > > Dr. Rex tried to say "Oh no! I totally thought this wasn't going to happen! How dramatically ironic!" but he couldn't because he had just been vaporized by the destroyers' space guns. > > They then shot Delivery Agent Roadrunner with a teleportation gun that sent him to their spice mines on Rigel V, where he lived for 70 tortuous years before he was eaten by a sand worm. > > Dr. Edison meanwhile was in Tokyo, dueling a ninja master for the possession of a new SCP; a magic sword that can shoot lighting and fly and sing and show one's true self that can't cut the innocent and also causes demons to explode that was forged by an ancient samurai out of 666666 thousand year old Egyptian sarcophagi. Suddenly he got a call from the O5 Council; "Edison, The Destroyers have come to vaporize most of us and send the rest to their spice mines on Rigel V! Are you a bad enough dude to blast aliens?" > > "Am I a 10-dan Akido master in addition to an ace fighter pilot and a master sharpshooter?" said Edison, effortlessly parrying each one of the ninja's strikes. "Fuck yeah I'm a bad enough dude. In fact you could say that I'm a 12.0 on the 10.0 scale of badness!" He then sliced the ninja master in half using a single stroke. "I'll be there in five minutes!" [[/collapsible]] + Lord Blackwood Vs. The Destroyers ++ Sequel to [[[We Have Dismissed That Claim]]] and Dr. Edison: Alien Blaster [[collapsible show="+ Show" hide="- Hide"]] > Suddenly, Dr. --Rex-- //Watson// panicked as the Destroyers' UFO landed on his house. > > "PUNY HUMANS!" said one of the destroyers "WE ARE HERE TO VAPORIZE MOST OF YOU AND SEND THE REST TO OUR SPICE MINES ON --RIGEL V-- //BARSOOM//!" > > Dr. --Rex-- //Watson// tried to say "Oh no! I totally thought this wasn't going to happen! How dramatically ironic!" but he couldn't because he had just been vaporized by the destroyers' space guns. > > They then shot --Delivery Agent Roadrunner-- //Professor Moriarty// with a teleportation gun that sent him to their spice mines on --Rigel V-- //Barsoom//, where he lived for 70 tortuous --years-- //solar sweeps// before he was eaten by --a sand worm-- //cannibals//. > > --Dr. Edison-- //Lord Blackwood// meanwhile was in Tokyo, dueling a ninja master for the possession of a new --SCP-- //artifact for his collection//; a magic sword that can shoot lighting and fly and sing and show one's true self that can't cut the innocent and also causes demons to explode that was forged by an ancient samurai out of 666666 thousand year old Egyptian sarcophagi. Suddenly he got a call from the --O5 Council-- //Queen of England//; "--Edison-- //Lord Blackwood//, The Destroyers have come to vaporize most of us and send the rest to their spice mines on --Rigel V-- //Barsoom//! Are you a --bad enough dude-- //swell enough chap// to blast aliens?" > > "//Wot wot?// Am I a 10-dan Akido master in addition to an ace fighter pilot and a master sharpshooter?" said --Edison-- //Blackwood//, effortlessly parrying each one of the ninja's strikes. "--Fuck yeah I'm a bad enough dude-- //I am indeed a swell enough chap if I do say so myself.// In fact you could say that --I'm a 12.0 on the 10.0 scale of badness-- //I am, without hyperbolie, the most swell chap in all of england!// " He then sliced the ninja master in half using a single stroke. "I'll be there in five minutes! //Pip pip cherrio! For queen and country!//" [[/collapsible]] + I Still Don't Care ++ Sequel to [[[SCP+MLP=DNC]]] [[collapsible show="+ Show" hide="- Hide"]] > Suddenly, a blue police box appeared in the Head's office. Moments later, a handsome brown colt with an hourglass-shaped cutie mark emerged from the box. "Sorry to bug you, but the multiverse is in grave peril! The Changeling Queen and the Cyberponies have teamed up with Darkseid to start the eighth Holy Grail War! If we don't find the Infinity Gauntlet Philosopher's Stone Equation before they do-" > > //"No."// said the department head. > > "You don't understand!" said Doctor Whooves. "The fate of the entire galaxy rests in our hooves, and only Dr. Clef is a bad enough dude to-" > > //"No."// > > "But-" > > **//"NO."//** > > Doctor Whooves shook his head. "You know what? Fine. You win! I'll just go and get one of those Homestuck kids instead. You guys are no fun, anyway. No fun at all." The pony then went back into his blue box, which dissipeared seconds later. > > "Good riddance." said the department head. [[/collapsible]]