Borne on the FM Waves of the Heart

Link to article: Borne on the FM Waves of the Heart.
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Faeowynn Wilson sat at a booth of O'Brien's Diner alone with her thoughts.

//He's only feigning interest.//

She was waiting for her date to arrive.

//Why would he ask me out like this?//

Alex Molina, one of the volunteers at the Center, had asked her on a date. Though she had initially turned him down, Fae had since relented. She truly didn't know what had come over her then, but it was too late to renege on him now that she was at the restaurant. Maybe it was because she felt bad that he was always bringing her coffee to her office or always dropping by to chitchat. These things weren't unpleasant, she could say that she almost looked forward to them every day. 

//No. This is just like meeting him at work.//

The date wasn't fancy by any means, but she much preferred the cozy comforts of Boring's greasy spoon diner over a restaurant in Portland. It allowed her an excuse not to get dressed up and show up in her Wilson khakis. It allowed her an excuse not to try.

//He probably only wants to climb the work ladder.//

Fae remembered the last time she had been asked out by someone. Back in college, she was asked out by Daniel, a boy in her Psychology class who seemed like a perfect gentleman. That was, of course, until he turned out to only be interested in her body: more specifically, the part of her she hated most. She could never forget the sheer humiliation she felt when she undressed for him after a few dates, and how he had spoken to her.

//But why ask me out for that?//

The door jingled open, and she swung her head to look at who had entered. It was Alex, dressed in a button-up, slacks, and bowtie. He looked like he had spent quite some time grooming himself for the night. Faeowynn felt bad about her appearance, she looked like had just spent the last nine hours going over paperwork because she had, in fact, spent the last nine hours going over paperwork. Without a break.

//He looks like such a dork.// 

She smiled weakly at Alex as he noticed where she was and started heading over. 

//He looks good.//

"Hey, Fae."

"Hello, Alex."

//No. Don't compliment him.//

"I hope I didn't keep you waiting long."

"Don't worry about it. I came here early, so if anything it's my fault that I waited."

"Oh, okay. Anyway, I uh, I brought you these." He revealed a small bouquet of daisies from behind him, holding it out towards her with an embarrassed smile.

"Flowers? For me? Isn't it a little much?" She raised an eyebrow but accepted them anyway.

"I thought it might be, but when I was growing up my grandfather told me that all girls deserved flowers when you asked them out..." He replied sheepishly, obviously a bit concerned with the impression he was making on her. "I'm sorry if I offended you," he added, obviously nervous.

"You didn't. It's fine." She leaned into the bouquet and took a whiff of the flowers. They smelled fresh. Fae smiled weakly once more and put the daisies beside her on the table.

//No one has ever given me flowers before. They're nice. This is nice.//

The two were silent for a moment before Fae spoke up: "So are you going to sit or are you just going to stand there?"

"Sorry, I spaced out on that." Alex took a seat at the booth across from Faeowynn and grinned widely at her. "So how was the office today? Not a lot of trouble, I hope."

"The paperwork is still as daunting a task as ever. I'm surprised my dad let it get this bad."

"Well, you know how he is. He'd much rather be out and about with the critters than stuck in an office."

"Yeah, that's Tim for you."

//Did I just call him by his name? Weird.//

"I don't envy your position. But I get it. It's work that needs to be done. I'm glad you're doing it, though. I love the Center and I would hate to see it go away because of some bureaucratic nonsense. It's important work, and I'm glad you're doing it."

"You said that twice."

"Did I? Sorry, hehe. Guess I am nervous. I don't often go on dates, much less with my boss' daughter and also sorta my boss."

//He's adorable.//

"Sorta? I am the Chief Financial Officer of the Center. I am not 'sorta' your boss, I am straight up your superior."

//Don't compliment him. I'm only here for dinner.//

"Yeah, uh, sorry. I knew that."

//Did I say something weird? He looks dejected.//

"Not that you should think it's a big deal, though! I'm just me. Especially right now; I'm just Fae."

//He should be dejected. I'm not interested in anything beyond a professional relationship. Nothing more.//

"Yeah, okay. Sorry for bringing that up. I shouldn't be nervous. But I am."

//He's cute when he's nervous.//

"Why is that?"

//No. Stop complimenting him! Who knows what he's really after? Focus.//

"Well..."

"Well?"

"Sorry, it's just that I don't really know how to word this..."

//It's something weird.//

"Just say it."

//It's going to be something weird and he's going to say and then I can get out of here.//

"You sure?"

//Just say it already and get it over with so I can leave.//

"Yeah."

"Okay. Here goes. I think you're very pretty."

Silence.

"This date is over, Alex."

//Wait, what?//

"What? Did I do something wrong?"

"I-I... I don't know. Look, this isn't going to work out, okay? Bye. Thank you for the flowers."

Faeowynn got up and exited the booth. She grabbed the daisies and headed to the door of the diner. Looking back at Alex, she saw he had turned to face her in confusion, his mouth open. Fae briefly considered returning, giving him a chance, allowing herself to truly give him a chance, but she was too caught up in her emotions to do so. 

She continued outside and quickly marched towards her car, where she tossed the daisies on the dashboard and got into the driver's seat. Gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles, she stared ahead into the diner where she could see Alex sitting alone at the booth by the window.

//He said I was pretty. He seemed genuine.//

Memories of Daniel came flooding back. How he sweet-talked her. How she had fallen for it, hook, line, and sinker. How objectified she felt. The only good thing to come of that was that she had learned how to say no.

//No. You can't trust him. Remember what happened last time you trusted someone?//

But Alex seemed... different. She looked back through the window of the diner and saw him sitting alone at the same booth she had just ditched him at. Though she couldn't tell with certainty from where she was, he seemed to be defeated. A chaser wouldn't be feeling like that, would they? Maybe they would, but not to that extent.

//Is he okay? He looks sad. I didn't want to hurt him.//

A waitress approached Alex. The two exchanged words for a brief moment, and she put her hand on his shoulder reassuringly. Alex shook his head and slumped in his seat before nodding at something she said. Faeowynn wasn't great at reading lips, especially at a distance, but she could have sworn the waitress said 'Sorry, hun.'

She sighed. 

//It doesn't matter. I'm already gone. We shouldn't be dating anyway.//

Fae started her car and pulled out of the diner's parking lot, leaving for home.

-----

It had been a few months since Faeowynn had come to Boring to help her dad with the Shelter, and only a few months less since the whole business with [[[the-ursus-maritimus-incident|the polar bear]]] had gotten the Supervisors involved. Adjusting to life in Boring after having spent the last near-decade in New York City had been a challenge. But finding housing was still difficult. So she had moved in with her dad, his new wife Alice (Well, it had been years since he left her mom, but Alice still felt new to her.), and their children, Anders and Robin. It wasn't perfect, but their house was spacious enough to give her some privacy when she wanted it.

As soon as she entered she could smell the stew that Alice had promised them in the morning. Fae's stomach grumbled. She hadn't eaten all day. Probably due to nervousness from the date she just bailed on. It felt awful to have done that, but she had to protect herself.

"Anders, is that you?" She heard her dad's voice coming from the living room just to her left. Fae took off her boots at the door, as was tradition in the household, and walked towards her father.

"No, dad. It's me."

"Hi Fae!" Alice's voice came in from the kitchen across the living room.

"Oh hey, my little caterpillar. You're home early!" Tim Wilson smiled at his daughter from the seat of his La-Z-Boy by the fire. He put down his newspaper and looked eagerly at her.

Fae checked the time on her phone.

"What do you mean? This is the time I'm always home." 

"Heh heh. Come on now, there's no need to hide things from your old man. I know tonight was a special night."

"...dad?"

"Tell me about it, caterpillar! Did it go well?"

"Did what go well, dad? What are you talking about?" 

"Oh, dear. Oh my. That's not a good sign." His expression shifted to one of mild concern. He tsk'd and shook his head.

"Dad, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about."

"Language!" Alice's voice chimed in from the kitchen.

"Sorry. I don't know what the //heck// you're talking about." Faeowynn corrected herself. As nice as Alice was, Fae had never cared much for her no-swearing policy. Anders and Robin were both adults, they could handle a curse word or two.

Tim looked her up and down before shaking his head.

"You really don't know what I'm talking about, don't you?"

"Obviously not."

"Well..." He folded his newspaper and placed it on the coffee table in front of him. "Your date. With Alex?"

Fae blinked. 

"How... did you know about..."

"How could I not? He came up to me and asked for my permission to date you!" He chuckled, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"He... really?"

"Yes! Now, I was surprised too, let me tell you! He came up to me all shy-like about a month ago and told me he was smitten by you. Maybe not in those words, but he certainly did seem to like you a whole bunch! He said, 'Mr. Wilson, I was wondering if you would be okay with me dating your daughter Faeowynn?" and I told him you were both adults, he didn't need my permission. But the way he has been busting his butt at the Shelter, I respected his hustle enough to grant him my blessing anyway. I hope you don't mind."

She didn't know what to say, so she said nothing. Tim continued talking.

"Anyway, I take it that it didn't go well? Do you want to talk about it? I know parents don't usually talk to their children about their romantic relationships, but I am still your father! And I want nothing but the best for you, my little caterpillar."

"No, dad. I... I..." She struggled to find words.

Tim looked on eagerly with a kind smile. 

Faeowynn sighed.

"I ditched him. I met him at the diner and we talked for a moment... but... I just couldn't do it. He was nice and everything, but I can't do it. I... feel so bad for even agreeing to it. But... maybe a part of me does like him? I don't know!"

Tim frowned slightly. "Well, if you didn't know for sure, why did you agree to the date with him?"

"I don't fucking know!" 

Alice poked her head out of the kitchen but didn't say anything. 

Faeowynn's face was red and her fists clenched. 

"I don't fucking know! Maybe I thought he would be different. I don't fucking know, dad!"

"Caterpillar, I--"

"No, dad! I don't want to hear it from you because no matter what you think, you don't get why and you never fucking will!"

The silence in the room was deafening. Alice approached Fae and took her hands into her own. Tim got up from his La-Z-Boy and put a hand on her shoulder. They stood together in silence, Faeowynn trembling ever so slightly and holding back her tears.

------

Fae had bought a vase for the daisies he had given her the day after the fact and set it up in her office where everyone could see. But  Alex had stopped coming by with coffee in the mornings. Their conversations had gone from frequent and jovial to rare and distant. He wasn't coming by her office to chitchat anymore. Though he was still doing his best with the animals, as Old Al would report, Alex seemed to have become withdrawn. At least to her. 

It had been a few weeks since the attempted date, and the daisies were long past their expiration date. But she refused to throw them out. In the time since then, she had had a lot of time to think about her actions. It wasn't that she didn't like him, she did. She liked how kind he was. She liked how forthcoming and friendly he was. She liked how he looked like a complete dork and overdressed for their date. Maybe she really did like him, and her experience with Daniel wasn't true of all potential dates. If given the chance, she would like to try again.

But it was too late for that.

Fae was buried in paperwork that Tim had neglected to do as usual, which the Supervisors were breathing down her neck to finish. For as good as the partnership with them had been for the Center, it had also become a Kafkaesque nightmare of paperwork. Despite being swamped by the paperwork, she still found herself thinking about Alex. 

She sighed.

Suddenly, she had an idea. She dropped the budgetary plans for the year on her table and grabbed her car keys, heading out the door of her office and towards the critter enclosures. Within moments, she found herself face to face with Old Al, who looked up from his clipboard and nodded at Fae.

"It's good to see you out of your office, Miss Wilson."

"Hi, Al. Do you know where Alex is?"

"At this hour? He's probably fixing to feed [[[critter-profile-maya|Maya]]]."

"Thank you." She started off towards the large animal pens.

"Be seeing you around, Miss Wilson." Old Al waved in response and returned to his clipboard.

Soon Fae was standing outside Enclosure 8 and sure enough, there was Alex, tossing some chunked-up salmon at the bear. 

"Alex!" She called out to him.

He turned to face her and his expression sank slightly. Fae winced at this, feeling bad over having ditched him. It took a moment for him to respond.

"Yeah?"

"You close to being done?"

"Just about, yeah."

"I want to talk to you when you're done." 

"Alright. Give me a minute."

Fae put her hands on her hips and waited for him to wrap up feeding Maya. She watched as Alex pet her as if she were a dog, then once she was satisfied with the pets, he left and locked up the enclosure. Alex then quickly washed his hands with the hand sanitizer placed outside the pen and approached Faeowynn, still scrubbing his hands.

"What is it, Miss Wilson?"

Ouch. She was used to the others calling her that, but he had never shied away from calling her by her name, at least not until recently. 

"You can call me Fae, you know."

"Sorry."

"It's okay. Come with me. I need to take you somewhere."

Alex quirked an eyebrow but acquiesced. Faeowynn walked out to the front parking lot of the Center with Alex in tow, approaching her car. She rifled through the key ring, fumbling through them until finding the one for the beat-up old vehicle. He stopped a few paces shy of it, looking over at Fae with curiosity as she got in. Fae leaned over and rolled down the passenger window.

"Come on," she said, straightening herself out and starting the car.

He hesitantly opened the right door and got in. Fae smiled over at him impishly, to which he sheepishly smiled back. The silence was palpable and she was almost regretting this, but still, she powered through. Alex, for his part, was feeling confused more than anything else. The two remained in absolute silence as they drove all the way from the Center and into Boring, a thirty-minute drive all things told.

Finally, the two arrived at her planned destination. She turned right and into the parking lot of O'Brien's Diner. Alex's eyes widened.

"Fae, what are we--"

"I... well..."

"Fae--"

"I went through something fucked up a few years ago and it really messed with how I look at relationships and myself."

Alex nodded.

"It made me panic that night. But having thought about it, I decided that..."

They were silent a moment. Fae sighed. Alex looked on expectantly.

"... Maybe I can try to trust someone like that again."

"I totally get why you did what you did, especially knowing th--" Alex was cut off by Faeowynn.

"No, let me finish. You're a sweet guy and... I do like you. Enough for a date. If you're up for it."

Silence again. A police cruiser with its siren on passed by on the street behind them.

"But what about the Center?" 

"They can manage without us for a few hours."

Alex grinned his typical, goofy, toothy smile.

She could get used to seeing that.
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Written by [[*user Uncle Nicolini]].
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Borne on the FM Waves of the Heart

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