BRC-Cast 243: A Nice Content Farm Upstate

Link to article: BRC-Cast 243: A Nice Content Farm Upstate.

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[[>]]
[[module Rate]]
[[/>]]

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[[include :scp-wiki:component:betterfootnotes]]
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@import url('https://fonts.googleapis.com/css2?family=Open+Sans&display=swap');
@import url('https://fonts.googleapis.com/css2?family=RocknRoll+One&display=swap');
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.hana {
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.boss {
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.tomi {
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[[/module]]

[[div class="blockquote"]]

++ BRC Podcast Episode 243
++++ //A Nice Content Farm Upstate//

------------------------
**[Intro Bumper: Clockwork Moons by [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3882 Shattered Deus]]**

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: Welcome… to the Black Rabbit Podcast! A terrible idea, but we’re doing it anyway! In the tacnet with me tonight we have Hana!##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: “what fresh furry weeaboo bullshit is this"##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: Boss!##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: “Women emoji, x emoji, thumbs down emoji”##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: Tomi!##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: “you should put one of them in 682s chamber and let the others watch that will get them to talk”##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: She’s your enemy and mine on the internet, Nanami!##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: "scp was better before they started adding politics to everything this sort of fetish-bait would have never happened in Series 1"##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: The one and only Momoko!##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: “DO YUO THINK THAT THIS SPC IS RELATED TO THE SHY GUY I THINK THAT HE THE SHY GUY AND THE PLAUGE DOCTOR HAVE SOME THING IN COMMON QUESTION MARK EXCLAMATION POINT QUESTION MARK?”##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: [sudden snorting laughter] Fuck me, I wasn’t expecting you to go that hard out of the gate.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: I’ve heard that she dies if she ever drops below a certain volume.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: It’s true!##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: //Jesus Christ// what have we gotten ourselves into.##[[/span]]

 [[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: And Wizard, I guess! “i am once again requesting that you make a video about 173 in the Backrooms”##[[/span]]

**[End Intro Bumper]**

------------------------

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: So, how are we doing tonight, BRC?##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: Oh, you know. The Everything.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Every day I curse the demiurge for trapping us in this prison of flesh and matter.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: I slept for 22 hours and then screamed until Hana brought me food.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Tom Cardy won Eurovision!##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: I continue my efforts to escape to the one place not yet corrupted by capitalism.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: All right, all right, how do you all feel about Youtube?##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: The same way I feel about Thatcher.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: Nanami you can’t just threaten to piss on the entirety of Youtube.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: [opens can loudly] Fucking try me.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: Please refer to my nine-hour video essay “My Thoughts on Youtube: Act 1, Part 1; ASMR; Lo-Fi Beats to Chill and Study To; Circle and Arrow in Thumbnail; Excited Face?!”##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: [singing] Welcome to the Piss Olympics…##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: Never before has a podcast gone this far off the rails this fast.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: I don’t think we had rails to begin with.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: Choo choo.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: No, no we do not. Anyway! Our document tonight was provided by Djoric…dee-zhor-ik? Duh-jor-ik? How the hell do you pronounce that, Hana?##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: It //might// be a truncated form of Djordjevic?##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: I think it’s pronounced Dork.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: No no, It’s Dyork, like the singer.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: Do we know if they’re Serbian? It’d make mo- wait, no, it’d make less sense if they’re Serbian.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: Anyway, Dork has provided us with tonight’s document, thank you Dork-”##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Thanks, Dyork.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: What the hell are your phonotactics up to, my guy.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: And this document contains the script and selected comments from a Youtube video titled “Is There Anything These Killer Kitties Won’t Do? - SCP-2085 - The Black Rabbit Company”, by ‘SCP Explained - Story & Animation’.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Aw man, they did Jennsosaurus dirty.##[[/span]] 

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: Right? Just copied right off the hub.##[[/span]] 

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: Wow, they managed to draw you without your tits out. Such restraint.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: Major issues here. One: I’d never use such bad form for an unarmed takedown. Two: No outward signs of augmentation or epicanthic folds. I know our appearances are variable but I would expect at least one of those.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Wait was… did The Rubber actually do a good job with our designs?##[[/span]] 

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: //Shit//, I think you’re right.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Like they weren’t accurate to the text but they were in the spirit of the assignment. Like they gave Boss the Major’s hair and Momoko Starfire’s color scheme, that’s vibe-appropriate.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: The Black Rabbit Company and its allies do not support The Rubber in any of its endeavors.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: I feel like I need to take a fucking shower.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: Dyork left us a comment saying “I am terribly sorry for this, and also for my unpronounceable username. None of this is canon, except for the parts that are extremely canon.”##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: You can stick that cannon directly up your ass and play 1812 Overture.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: Doot doot.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: This is going to be fun. Let’s get started…##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
We’ve covered a lot here on this channel, and what you might have noticed about the nature of our discoveries is that knowledge is best broken down before digested. Which is to say, if you are to learn how to assemble a computer, it may benefit you also to see one taken apart.

When you do so, you’ll notice in front of you not a computer at all, but a collection of individual parts. It’s in understanding these distinctive parts in isolation that helps us shape our awareness of their marriage, and how they cooperate with one another to become their collective self.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: Weird opener but okay.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Sure, this may be good practice, but then tell me: how do we comprehend a whole that is composed of parts unwilling to isolate themselves from the rest?
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: And I asked Master Ultan “Is it not true that there is a certain analeptic of the many-voiced alzabo that contains the entirety of the whole within a single part?”##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Nerd.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: “lol. lmao, even,” said Master Ultan. “You absolute dumbass, Severian. You utter buffoon.”##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: NERD.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: “I, Severian, who forgets nothing, did not hear him, as I was thinking about my cool dog, who had three legs, and also Valeria, of whom I have already said too much.”##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: NEEEEEEEEEEEEERD.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: “I, Severian, journeyman torturer of the Order of the Seekers of Truth and Penitence, just can’t stop talking about Valeria.”##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: “I, Severian, certified public accountant and forensic certified public accountant,  [DATA EXPUNGED] and [DATA EXPUNGED] my [DATA EXPUNGED]. [REDACTED].”##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Nerds. //NERDS!// All of you are nerds! NONE OF YOU ARE FREE FROM SIN.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Because let’s face it, not all things, let alone SCPs, can be torn apart for the convenience of our study.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E##BD1E1E|W: If you can’t study something without destroying it, you’re probably doing it wrong.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: If you can’t help but destroy the subjects of your study, call a doctor immediately! You may be the British Museum.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
No matter the subject we seek to understand, it may choose to resist our deconstruction, by one way or another. Landmarks like the Temples of Malta and the Pyramid of Djoser are held together by our respect. Monuments like the Statue of Liberty are held together by copper. The Family was held together by Charles Manson.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: Whoa whoa whoa ease up on the gas.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
But it’s not always the preservation of history or elements of the periodic table or psychopaths that reject humans' wishes to disassemble. Far stronger than forces of nuts and bolts are that of character and loyalty, and SCP-2085 is welded together by exactly that.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: Is this a video about us or the prelude to a recipe for pork chops or some shit.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
SCP-2085 is a militant anarchist organization consisting of six cybernetically-enhanced individuals (A-1 through A-5 and B) operating under the name Kuroi Usagi Shidan, or more commonly known as the “Black Rabbit Company.”
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Sadly abandoned working title: “Space Wizard and the Commando Catgirls”.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
SCP-2085-A subjects are five adult female augmented humans, designated SCP-2085-A-1 through SCP-2085-A-5.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: We have names. In order to rip off Jennsosaurus’ art you would have had to have read the hub, which has our names right there.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Subjects are genetic chimeras, each with an estimated 6-10 different gene donors. They are fluent in Japanese, Mandarin Chinese, Cantonese, Korean, Russian, and English, with additional languages varying by individual.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: He’s just reading the article. Can we fast forward? ##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: Yeah, hold on.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
SubjectsdisplayanarrayofgeneticandcyberneticenhancementsincludinggeneticsplicesofFeliscatusphysiologyhavingcatlikeearstailsandhairThesetailsareprehensileandcapableofholdingsmallobjects,soifyoureaccusingoneofthemofstealingyourpendontjustgosearchingtheirpocketsTheyalsohavegrippadsontheirhandsandfeetincasetheyeverdiddecidetoretirefromanarchyandtakeupsurfingTheirimpressivefeaturesdon’tstopthereIftheyhaventalreadyputJamesBondsgadgetstoshameyetjustwaitDanielCraigisabouttolooklikeDoratheExplorerSCP2085A1throughA5allhaveocularimplantswiththermalvision,headsupdisplayandrecordingfunctionalityAlsonotedarecarbonnanoweavemusclefiberaugmentationreinforcedendoskeletonandbraincomputerinterfacewithinternalharddriveThelistgoesoneachetceteramoreelaboratethanthenextYetwhatstandsoutmostaboutthemisnotaweaponbutanattitude.

These six members, although now held in isolation from one another, do not show any signs of splitting up, not even when under the heavy pressure of The Foundation’s interrogation. Agents spend their hours looking for cracks to dig their fingers into, trying to get one to betray the other and reveal sensitive information. But when asked to spill the beans-
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Oh no my beans!##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
SCP-2085 screws the lid on tighter. They remain as a whole, resistant to our deconstruction. The agents get nowhere with their investigation. And with each minute wasted, it’s another victory for SCP-2085.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: It’s our forbidden bloodline technique -##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: A kekkai genkai, if you will.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: -called “Don’t Talk to Cops”.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
The hours go on and they keep stacking up W’s, building momentum day after day, growing stronger and stronger as a unit. As the Foundation tries to tear the group apart, they respond with even greater resistance. And this style of resistance is unique to each member. Imagine you are confronting SCP 2085-A-2. 
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: Wait, did they skip Boss?##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B:  It might be a pacing thing.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: He also left out how we were captured, which is pretty important.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
She is talkative, and so you think you might get somewhere. You are all ears. But what SCP 2085-A-2 sees isn’t ears, but troughs. And she is happy to feed you her slop. She talks and talks and you listen closer and closer, but all you are getting is misinformation.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Slop? SLOP!?##[[/span]] 
[[div class="blockquote"]]
False names, inaccurate stories, dates that don’t add up. You focus and follow along, only to find yourself having run a marathon all the way to a dead end.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: And he’s…not going to include any of the stories?##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: We have to establish what keeps large objects together, Hana, get with the program.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: I gave you hours of entirely truthful entertainment, and you slander me like this?##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: As rightful queen of Thailand I object to this characterization of one of my subjects.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Now you are faced with SCP 2085-A-5, who takes a different, more nonsensical approach. You are happy to no longer have to sift through inaccuracies to decipher truths, but now there are no truths at all. All that you are given are absurdities.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: What.##[[/span]] 
[[div class="blockquote"]]
She speaks in ways that make you scratch your head.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: Did you read the interview? I just said “no” a lot. I admitted that I was fucking with them because it was fun.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Once saying, for no apparent reason, “I take a hammer and I break my legs, I break ‘em for the better.”
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: …##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: It’s Mother Mother.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
After so many scratches you swear you’ve dug an inch into your skin.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: It’s the first line of “All Gone” by Mother Mother. Fuck’s sake.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
And so you move on to SCP 2085-A-4 hoping for better luck.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: No. No we don’t, we stop right here. Fuck you, it’s Mother Mother. I was quoting Mother Mother because it’s creepy out of context and I wanted to fuck with people but it’s also an expression of radical bodily autonomy. I take a hammer and I break my legs //for the better//.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: Would you like me to be less subtle? “Take my eyes /  take them aside / take my face and desecra-ate my arms and legs / they get in the way.”##[[/span]]

[Pause]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: I was trying to imply that I’m trans, dipshit. Whatever the hell that means when I can pop my brain out like a fucking hard drive and just stick it in a new body.##[[/span]]

[Pause]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: So, uh, we gonna go around the table in solidarity?##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: Yeah, I think we should. Boss?##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: Sure. Ace-aro.##[[/span]] 

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: Demi.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Captain Harkness Rules, baby.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Chronic masturbator viscerally repulsed by the idea of intimate physical contact with another human being.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: And I’m technically a eunuch.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: This part is canon. It’s a bit of a later development to our characters but you know, we had other things to worry about at the time.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: No flags, please.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Nothing against people who like them, we just think they’re ugly.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Fucking Americans putting stripes on everything. Too many divisions of the field!##[[/span]] 

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: Japan’s got the States beat in the flag department, no contest.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: Acceptable flags for the Company are a field sanguine, party per bend sinister sable.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: Sanguine, sable hare rampant wielding mallet, countercharged per bend sinister.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Sanguine, a disc argent, sable hare rampant wielding mallet.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: The above, with a field vert.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: And sable, a skull and crossbones with cat ears.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: Though if you come up with some other cool ones, we’d love to see them. Anyway, let’s get back to it.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
She is straightforward with you. That much you like. But she’s hostile and doesn’t cooperate. When you ask her name, she raises her middle finger. She tucks it back in to create a first. And then that fist punches the divider between you. No amount of reinforced glass could make you feel safe at that moment. Cracks spread. It looks like a web spun by a spider, and you feel as small as one.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: Known Shelob impersonator, Nanami.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Nah, I’m definitely a Portia.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: I get to be Bianca!##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: I’ll take Fabian.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: One of the Octopi, I guess.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: Viola!##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: We are going on an //adventure//.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Thankfully, a protective shutter is lowered. Aerosol sedatives are pumped into the containment unit.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: I’m surprised he’s not mentioned any of the cover names yet.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: Eh, the other video did and the comments are mostly just asking if this is a JoJo reference.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Shoulda fucking gone with Jolyne…##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: But they’re an important part of establishing our characters!##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: Why would he bother? Do you think the target audience of this video knows what //Dorohedoro// is?##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: No…##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: [stage whisper] For those of you keeping track at home: I’m Joseph, Nanami’s Jolyne, Wizard’s Jonathan, Tomi is Jotaro, Hana’s Josuke, and Boss is Giorno.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: Our Stands are, pending revision and in interview order, [L'INTERNATIONALE], [BRICK HOUSE], [MAKE THIS RIGHT], [NOOSPHERE], [WHERE THE GUNS AT], and [PLAY THE HERO].##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
She continues to try to escape, yelling profanities even harsh for someone locked behind bars.

Your ears have taken a beating from curse words, nonsensical rambles, and heaps of misinformation. You want to lower your head into a toilet bowl and hear nothing but water. Yes, that is where these women have driven you. Your head to the bottom of a toilet bowl.

You have put in so many hours, and yet you have learned nothing new. And if you can’t learn anything new, you might have to rely more on what you already know.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: He totally skipped Boss and Hana.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: What the fuck.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: …##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: Skipping over the part where I’m begging for death because of the psychological strain of solitary confinement is a choice that says a lot about your priorities.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
But what do you know? Well, you know this: their track record is quite impressive. Verified operations include smuggling, theft, assault, vandalism, kidnapping, extortion, property damage, possession of fissile materials, corporate sabotage, embezzlement, identity theft, fraud, copyright infringement, piracy, possession transport and sale of anomalous items, and tax evasion.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: The comments section does have a good number of people congratulating us on the last one.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Yet, when grilled under the heat of investigation, they do not reveal any details about the nature of these operations. You just know that they happened. All that is told is that SCP-2085 navigates in such a way as to minimize the chance of civilian casualties and maximize material and morale damage to their target.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: Opsec, motherfucker.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
They are proud of this. It seems as if SCP-2085 perceives themselves on the side of good.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: My body is a machine that kills fascists.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: Considering that you cut the part wherein I explain our motivations in explicit terms, it seems like this confusion is self-inflicted.##[[/span]] 
[[div class="blockquote"]]
While their list of operations on paper looks like crimes, they stand proudly behind them, pleading guilty with a grin. But behind every smile is more teeth. Teeth that go beyond saying cheese. Teeth hiding in the dark caves of a sealed mouth. And you are determined to play dentist and find your way in.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: What the fuck is this metaphor?##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
But SCP-2085 doesn’t say ah for just anyone.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: You have to buy me dinner first.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
So, how are you to understand a group that resists our preferred methods of learning? How are you to properly assess the pieces of a puzzle when the puzzle is glued tightly together?
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: I have seen some weird framing narratives and this is //extremely// weird.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
It starts at the top. Before you can decipher the motives of a nation, you’d be smart to study their leader.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Boss! He remembered you!##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
And if you want to extrapolate the schemes of a football team, you’d interview the coach. And to truly know the moral of a television show, you’d be better off asking the creator than the actors.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: The intent of the artist is merely one factor of many that goes into the interpretation of a text and should not be treated as a correct reading of a text.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: We are aware of the irony.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
All of this is just to say, if you are to ever understand the complexities of SCP-2085, it is necessary you begin with SCP-2085-B, the person pulling the string of the entire operation for all of these years.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: [slams fist on table] BULLSHIT!##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: Oh god he doesn’t know.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: My expectations are subterranean and they have still not been met.##[[/span]] 
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Now, you might be imagining a man of many muscles.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Sir, have you seen these guns I’m packing?##[[/span]] 
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Someone able to fight a bear with an arm tied behind his back. Someone who kicks through saloon doors, tilts back his liquor, and walks out with a woman in each arm. But you’d be dead wrong.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: I do not think anyone was thinking this.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
SCP-2085-B, also known as Wizard, does not look like an imposing lead at first glance, or even, at the hundredth glance. He is generally in very poor health and his face shows it.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: Back-alley chemotherapy does that to you.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
He suffers from a variety of illnesses, most notably a vitamin D deficiency, acute radiation syndrome, and has unmanageable scarring from severe and repeated skin ulceration. He doesn’t wear a cape and glamorous spandex often found hanging in superheroes’ closets, but instead he wears an Advanced Crew Escape Suit accompanied by a cheap bathrobe and flimsy red felt wizard's hat.

He looks, with no elegant way of putting it, like a dork.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: Correct.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
A goofball.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Checks out.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
A doofus.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Got you dead to rights, Wiz.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
A…well, you get the point.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: No no, keep going, drag it out further. We’re already not having a good time, why not make it a long time?##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Furthermore, he is an adult male human with certain cybernetic and genetic enhancements. He has an adaptation of the gastrointestinal tract to allow for an all-liquid diet. Within his suit, an esophageal input port and waste output port are integrated. 
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: In case this didn’t get across in the original text, I shit in a bag.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
It is equipped with modifications to regulate sweat, reduce abrasion damage from extended usage, and aid in skin regeneration. His genetic enhancements include the replacement of 11 previously missing digits on hands and feet, and also has an internal drug pump, typically used for painkillers, because as we are about to learn, SCP-2085-B is most often on the wrong end of pain.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: None of those are genetic.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Notice, these modifications are not those you would find in a science-fiction novel-
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: You are either woefully under-read or purposefully telling lies on the internet.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: Do you really think someone would do that?##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Just go on the internet and tell lies?##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: I would simply not believe them.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
-but more likely behind the trench coat of a suspicious man in a dark alley. And we all know nothing good is ever concealed behind a trench coat… but have you ever wondered if that truth also extends to robes? Because when we pull open SCP-2085’s what we find is truly terrifying…
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: I like how they are framing this as habitual public indecency. What a cool, normal thing to say.##[[/span]] 
[[div class="blockquote"]]
SCP-2085-1!
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Wait, is that Boss?##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
SCP-2085-1 is a fibrous mass of self-replicating carbon nanomaterials within SCP-2085-B’s
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Aw…##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: It would be so much easier if they just used names.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: Artifact of the format.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
-chest cavity, with growths protruding into the liver, pancreas, gallbladder, spinal cord, and left lung.

The growth of the SCP-2085-1 and its consumption of SCP-2085-B’s body tissues has been impeded through the addition of various containment implants used to sever communication between growth sections and control nodes and counter the replication process. SCP-2085-1’s rate of replication without the influence of these containment implants is unknown. SCP-2085-1’s periods of activity occur, on average, once every three months. The process lasts for up to fifteen minutes and causes SCP-2085-B intense pain.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: Yeah, it’s not great.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Imagine a heart attack. Imagine Mike Tyson using your sternum like a punching bag. Imagine a cactus strapped to your front. This is the pain and torture SCP-2085 wears daily.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Again, very cool and normal thing to say.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
There’s no S logo printed on his chest like Superman. No symmetrically slick symbol like Batman.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: I’m more of a Hellboy guy, anyway.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Instead, just cancerous growth. Kryptonite worn like a tie. The knot never to be loosened. 

But to SCP-2085-B, this anomaly is not just a number to be studied, but more so a being to be understood. It is more personal than a medical condition. It is something he wakes up with each and every day. 
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: It’s a bird!##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: It’s a plane!##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: It’s chronic pain!##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
He calls it Red.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: No spurious connection to the Scarlet King? I’m impressed.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: Ssshh, that link only exists on the thematic level.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: Themes don’t exist, Boss, get with the program.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: I know writers who use subtext and they are //cowards!//##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Hiding in metal boxes, the fools!##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
At first, The Foundation saw SCP-2085’s close connection with Red to be childish and silly, as if a small boy who names his freckles out of boredom and loneliness.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: They actually were pretty reasonable about it. Grading on a curve, but still. ‘Not as Big a Jerk as You Could Have Been’ award.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
But as you are about to see, how they met was more memorable than first finding a freckle in the mirror.

A meteor struck down, and SCP-2085-B was the only person at the scene. Red was inside. As Wizard approached the meteor, Red leapt onto him and buried a home into his chest cavity.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: I would like to point out that there is zero corroborating evidence for this story. There is significant room for reader interpretation.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Far from a freckle on the skin, Red is a cancer. It grows and grows, leeching to what it can. It can’t be removed with surgery. It can’t be covered by a Band-Aid. It has no empathy or mercy. It leeches on and eats away at its host. But it’s more than pain that it causes.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: And you’re probably not going to do any sort of thematic analysis of that other thing, are you?##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: What, and give any voice to how Red is a personified stand-in for the everyday agony of being trapped inside a machine that is bleeding to death? Psssh.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Falling off a swing set and busting open your leg hurts, sure, but at least both you and your injury are on the same team. Cuts try to heal. When left alone, injuries make effort to find homeostasis.

But Red is a different breed. It hates us in a way that injuries are incapable of doing. It has a deep disdain for humanity. It tears Wizard down, reveling in his degradation. Its sole purpose is to eat him whole.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: I see they’ve also cut Wizard’s von-neumann probe theory.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Wizard can only take this personally, as he doesn’t just feel the universally understood sensation of pain, but also the unique passion of its purpose.

SCP-2085-B’s adventure’s with Red seem to be where our story begins, and what ultimately keeps it moving.

In fact, it was while SCP-2085-B was running around trying to fix his chest with implants when he eventually met who we refer to as SCP-2085-A-1 through A-5. He was at the clinic to get some new parts, and when he was going through the installation process there was an explosion. One of the five girls barged out of a building, guns blazing. He started running alongside them with his chest half open. The women embraced him immediately, and he reciprocated.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: I stitched him up first, then there we hugs.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Knowing nothing of the situation, he instinctively knew to take their side.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: Look, sometimes you just know, right? I was in a sketchy off-the-books chop shop, when the people who are clearly action heroes kick down the door, you know what side your bread is buttered on.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
There were bullets coming from both directions, but he intuitively understood which side was good and which side was bad – a distinction SCP-2085 believes the world needs help clarifying.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: You ever get the feeling someone is trying to throw shade by portraying what you say in a way that implies you’re nefarious, but lacks the guts to actually say it? No? Just me?##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
But it is hard to see a reason for a war when our eyes are focused on the casualties. Beliefs are less clear when tucked behind bullets. The sounds of gunfire muffle their message.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: Our message is very clear.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: But let me spell it out, since you’re still not getting it. We were frankensteined together in tanks. We had to steal our own fucking bodies because the shitstains who made us think that a human being is something you can fucking //own//. Think about this, for two fucking seconds: what do you think the person who buys a custom-made woman is like? Do you think that he’s a good person? Do you think that the people who let him get away with it are good people? I had to jailbreak our //brains// so they wouldn’t get fucking bricked by an automatic firmware update!##[[/span]] 

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Those motherfuckers go home every day and sleep soundly in their beds because we’re not people and what happens to us doesn’t matter. Fuck them and fuck you. They wouldn’t let us have autonomy over our own bodies so we fucking took it for ourselves.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: Brrrat brrrrrat clicka-clack boom boom##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: From day fucking one we were forced into a world that refuses to recognize us as human beings.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: It’s on-sight for PAMWAC.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: see em shoot em skin em wear em mount em onna wall##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: Actually, that makes a great segue! In the years since we first came on to the scene, there have been quite a few new Groups of Interest that we have beef with.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: PAMWAC, as aforementioned, is on-sight.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: And those clowns at Valravn.##[[/span]] 

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: Obskura and all associates, obviously.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: I have a bullet personally reserved for KeeLee.##[[/span]] 

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: There are forty-three different Wandsmen already on the list and I //will// add more. Fucking wizards.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: Not the bird journalists, they’re different.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: We haven’t fought Three Moons yet, but we would if we got the chance.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: We’ve got a real good frenemy situation going on with the 12 Lords of San Kowloon.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: I can’t find it in myself to be mean to GAW, it’s like bullying a one-legged pug.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: We tried reaching out to them before, but it turns out that one killsat they have is some kind of bullshit eigenweapon instead of a mass driver.##[[/span]] 

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Are we sure? I was really unclear on that.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: It’s there in the technobabble, I totally missed it the first time through. It’s just some damn eigenweapon.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Damn, that’s disappointing.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: Right?##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
[[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: Hi all, Future Hana here: we received a few emails asking why I was so hung up on the fact that LYRIS/LORD isn’t a mass driver. Basically, a mass driver in L2 orbit opens up the rest of the solar system to exploration at drastically-reduced delta-V cost. All we need to do is get some payloads up there and we’re several steps closer to fully automated luxury gay space communism. We’ve got a whole plan drawn up and everything. Ask Boss about the Shopping List sometime. I had originally just heard “hey, did you know Games and Whatever have a planet-destroying killsat” through the grapevine and thought “sick, they have a mass driver!” because I could see no reason for it to be anything else. My bad on that. Still disappointing, though.##[[/span]]] 
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: Regardless of whether or not it is actually a mass driver, it is operated by an individual whose mental health has been steadily deteriorating for almost a decade due to social isolation and lack of psychiatric support.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Building your entire identity around a weird webcomic and the weird parasocial relationship you have with it is not a good long-term life strategy. You gotta touch grass once in a while.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: Regardless, we do not associate with Games and Whatever in any meaningful material fashion.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: However, we are absolutely down to party with the Confederación Internacional.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: Or whatever your local Insurgency-based faction is.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: Can we keep going? I hate how much more of this is left.##[[/span]] 
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Morality, while a complex subject, SCP-2085 believes is simplified by the masses.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: If “human beings are not possessions” is too complex, my good friend John Brown has some very convincing arguments for you.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: “The //Solidarity// warps to a universe where it’s three days before Harper’s Ferry” is free real estate, people.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: His soul goes marching on.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Events are deemed good or bad based on the term used for them in a court of law.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Legalism is a hell of a drug.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
When we see the words: smuggling, theft, assault, vandalism, corporate sabotage, embezzlement, identity theft, fraud, copyright infringement, piracy, and tax evasion, it is our impulse to label those as morally bad.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: I too was once in an Intro to Philosophy course.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
But SCP-2085 desperately wants you to look beyond the language.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: Yes, actually, we would love it if you read anything beyond the literal text.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
They want the words to dissipate off the paper, letter by letter, until all you have is a blank page.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: No! That’s the exact opposite of what we want here!##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Now, look at the pencil and the hand that holds it. Watch how it moves. That is what matters. Whether it draws weapons or mermaids is irrelevant. Both can be used for good. Both can be used for evil. Intent is everything. And SCP-2085 intends on making the world a better place, or so they like to claim.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: Do you understand what “antifascist” means?##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: There are objectively fewer nazis in the world because we exist.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: gun from my sock pop pop pop pop pop##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
But maybe there is more to it.

After SCP-2085-B and the five women escaped the gunfire, they went on to steal a boat and high tail it out of Japan. They spent their nights out there on the ocean, stargazing and stuffing themselves with instant ramen and cheap beer.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Some real Misato-approved pisswater.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
And, surprisingly, between all the crazy adventures SCP-2085-B had been on, this is what Wizard spoke about most. The time spent on the boat out at sea.

For the first time in ages, he was finally somewhere where he was happy.

It was this moment that actually meant the most to him.

It wasn’t the children they apparently saved from imperialism.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: Imperialism is a complex systematic set of interlocking social, political, military and economic policies that uphold the violent extraction of wealth from conquered territories for the enrichment of the imperial core. Directed violence alone cannot undo it.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
It wasn’t the wealth they apparently redistributed to the poor.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: Note how all the stories Momoko told were just wacky things we had already done and finished, and she never said a word about what we were actually doing with the money and goods.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: The importance of good opsec cannot be overstated. if we look at-##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Great, now you’ve set her off…##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: If any of you listening thought Boss was the normal one, you’re wrong.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: She’s very good at masking but when she gets going, you just gotta let her go.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: - leading to the inevitable failure of Games And Whatever’s Camp Kenowhere project -##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: The central pillar of our team is a woman whose autistic hyperfixation is covert wetwork.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: And leftist theory.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: And //Legend of the Galactic Heroes//.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: And we love her for it.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: -paradoxically low-tech methods can offer greater security in the short term, while-##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: [interrupting] //As we were saying//, we did not provide any actionable intelligence to the enemy with regards to our bases of operation, allies, or assets.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: We’re fools and dreamers, not idiots.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
It wasn’t any good deed at all.

It was the selfish, almost shallow, sensation of being happy on a boat.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: Life is suffering and then you die. Better to do it with friends.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
This singular moment meant so much to SCP-2085-B. He reflected on it as if it were a wedding day or a memorable vacation.

Which makes you wonder…
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: Will this guy will ever get to the point.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
SCP-2085 has been investigated and interrogated, and all that they preach is that they are doing the world a favor with their antics. Their tales are captivating, sure. But is it actually story telling or is it just virtue signaling?
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: There we go! Blow that whistle a little louder for the dogs in the back, why don’t you?##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: If he’s going to throw that horseshit around, let’s give him some concrete examples to chew on.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Strictly semicanonically, of course.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Yeah, you all can keep a secret. Boss?##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: For the purposes of informing those who want to write about our misadventures, yes.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Sick. I am personally responsible for why Emerald Mine Failson is bankrupt and why the site formerly known as Chi is now called shitho.le.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: We do a lot of work for the Confed, like I mentioned before. Mostly supporting cells that are deep in Foundation or GOC territory.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: On that note, one of our primary goals is aiding the Confederation in establishing a foothold in Earth orbit and the solar system at large, which has put us in close collaboration with New Green Earth and the Jupiter Development Group.##[[/span]] 

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: [Aside] They’re groups of interest operating out of the East African Federation.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: I work with revitalization programs for moribund and sleeping languages. Ainu, currently. Did you know that the Japanese government did not legally recognize the Ainu as an indigenous people until 2019?##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: We’ve got the Shopping List, which is all the stuff worth stealing  from the documents Nanami swiped from the Foundation’s database on our way out.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: I’m a lazy piece of shit who does nothing with her life.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: And if //you// want to be a lazy piece of shit who does nothing with your life, you should come on down to shiiiiiiiithole! That’s ʃɪθo dot ell ee.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
There is an emotional depth to SCP-2085 unique to any other militant anarchist group.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: I’m pretty sure most militant anarchist groups are also made out of human beings with internality.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
While they are genetically designed to most efficiently complete missions, they are not at all robots fixed on the high of task completion.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: We were initially designed as combat-rated paracoitas for personal protective use.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Nerd-speak translation: some rich shitstains were looking for the venn diagram sweetspot between “robot you can fuck”, “someone to shoot the people who rightfully want me dead” and “a human being I can own as property.”##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: Just read between the lines, I’m begging you.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Each and every one of them wants more. They want a group. They want a group not just to have the numbers to overthrow a government, but to have the numbers to fill a room, or boat, with companionship.

When they refuse to cooperate with you and leak information about their operation, maybe what you are witnessing isn’t the strength of their loyalty, but also the weakness of their codependence.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: Foundation scientists blown away by discovery of friendship.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: This one weird trick has the Men in Black stumped!##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
And so, you decide this is the new angle you’re going to take with your interrogation. You enter the room with a new focus. You feel like an earthquake, eager to make cracks in their core. You isolate SCP 2085-A-4.

You are met, expectantly, with hostility. You fight back with psychology. You cross your legs and put on your glasses as if to say, “Let’s talk about that anger. Where does it stem from?”
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Oh that’s easy, it stems from the fact that I was grown in a fucking tube so that some fucking corpo failson could own //human property.//##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
She strengthens her emotional guard. But you keep prying. You say that it sounds like she is lonely. You say it sounds like her loyalty doesn’t come from good character but rather insecurity and self-doubt.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: You leave her insecurity and self-doubt out of this.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Yeah! Only we get to talk shit about Nanami’s insecurity and self-doubt!##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
You ask her if completing missions with her crew was actually a way to improve the world-
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: Yes. You would know this if you kept my interview in.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
-or was it just an elaborate way to build a close friend group bound together by common goals.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: LOCAL MAN BAFFLED BY EXISTENCE OF FRIENDSHIP.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Did new missions sprout from necessity or were they fabricated by fears of being alone with nothing to do?
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: What is he //talking// about? We can’t just shit money.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: Not yet, anyway.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: I promise I’m still working on that nanofab printer.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Were end of operation high-fives to celebrate good overcoming evil or were they just excuses to feel the touch of another human, skin to skin.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: Wow, way to make it weird.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
You stop there and let silence do the rest. SCP 2085-A-4 sits with her thoughts.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N:  This is dangerous for me and everyone around me.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
She is ready to break…and finally she does. She says she’s willing to provide video logs of the group’s former operations. She’s ready to cooperate. She’s ready to abandon loyalty to groupthink and focus instead on self-improvement.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: This entire conversation never happened, but if it did happen, I want you to imagine me putting on the grossest shrinking violet wallflower bullshit act possible and using those exact words. You could use the dripping sarcasm as industrial lubricant.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: As well as other kinds of lubricant.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
In exchange, she kindly asks that she be reciprocated and that the sanctions placed on her be lifted. You come to an agreement, and with that you feel like your work is done. But is it?
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: Rhetorical questions in headlines should always be answered with “no”.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
You’re feeling cocky and accomplished. You forward the video logs to an isolated network for D-class personnel to review and you sit back and enjoy a celebratory drink.

You have infiltrated and broken the mind of a genetically modified radical designed for anarchy.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Fucked up that you’re saying that like it’s a good thing.##[[/span]] 

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Fucking //designed?//##[[/span]] 

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: No one can possibly be a leftist out of their own volition and beliefs, Nanami, get with the program.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
You give yourself a pat on the back, and you’re feeling so great that the pat might even turn into a massage, but before you can indulge in that deep tissue level of self-admiration, the phone rings. Can it be a call from the president telling you that you’re the greatest investigator of all time?
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: “Sir, it’s the President: he says you need to cut down on the self-congratulatory celebration.”##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Can it be that they need you to pose in front of a world-renowned artist so that they can erect a statue of you in the center of town square?
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: How are you still only half-mast after this long?##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
But the panic on the other side of the phone halts your daydream. Your stomach drops, as if a sudden plummet from a perfectly vertical roller-coaster. You have fallen into a trap. The video log at the center of your negotiation was not at all what it was promised to be. 

The file, titled backup.avi, consisted of a two-hour long video of a feces-filled toilet, presumably recorded from SCP-2085-A-4’s point of view, accompanied by an audio loop of the folk song “Korobeiniki”, as performed by the Red Army Choir.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: In light of recent geopolitical currents, I must admit that the commissar character was childish and stupid, and I will be segueing to a persona that contains no questionable or problematic elements at all, a machine cleric of the Maschmeptus Adcamicus.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Names have been changed to protect the innocent copyright lawyers of Wames Gorkshop.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: I just want to transcend the flesh and live eternal among the machine spirits is that too much to fucking ask.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Its absurdity feels like an art project. Like a short film you are assigned to watch in a community college class.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Oh come the fuck on, it’s not like I had anything else on hand! Were you expecting fucking George Clooney?##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Yes I would, thank you.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
But instead of putting you to sleep…it does a whole lot more. The contained audio-visual cognitohazard induced anaphylaxis and exudative diarrhea in the observing D-Class subject.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: You fuckers.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
The D-Class subject died four minutes after initial access of the file from blood loss and oxygen deprivation.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: //YOU FUCKERS//##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
SCP-2085-A-4 sits in containment laughing, while you sit there on your couch, dethroned-
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: THAT WAS FOR //YOU//. Of fucking course, of //fucking// course you’d stick one of your slave laborers in front of it first. Fuck me I guess, for thinking you’d do anything else.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
- back where you started, having thought you tore SCP-2085 apart with your mind, only to learn that your efforts only reinforced it with more glue.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Do you think I //wanted// to kill the poor bastard? That was for //you//.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: Breathe, Nanami. Breathe.##[[/span]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Now go check out “SCP-247 - A Harmless Kitten” and “SCP-577 - Bullet Cat” for more SCPs.
[[/div]]
[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Wait, that’s it?##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: That’s it.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: I am profoundly disappointed and my day is ruined.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: There’s nothing there! He wasted half of it on non sequiturs and then spent the rest of it deliberately mischaracterizing us!##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: That is, when he deemed to characterize us at all.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: Can we pass on the comment section? This isn’t really fun anymore.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Agreed.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: Yeah, there wasn’t that much interesting anyway down there anyway.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: What a bummer.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: So. What did we learn tonight, team?##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: I still can’t believe that he didn’t draw Boss with her tits out in the thumbnail.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Yeah that’s also my takeaway. They didn’t even draw //me// with my tits out, and that’s much more in character.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: They are simply too intimidated by your impressive size.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: It’s true! In my quest to become huge I have achieved a terrible power. The power of being huge. Cowards flee from my enormity.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: Fun fact for all of you at home: Momoko is, to the centimeter, exactly as tall as Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: I learned that some people just decide that making stick figure animations with barely-disguised reactionary subtext for children is something they want to do with their lives.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: Yeah, like…it’s both incredibly lazy and weirdly high-effort. He went out of his way to make the presentation worse than if he had just read the article verbatim, but didn’t put any of that extra effort into making it good or accurate. Which, considering the parts he left out, is pretty gross. And if I could get on my soapbox for a little bit...##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: Ooh, Irish Spring!##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: Look. Mr. Explained. Those guys we killed before the Foundation caught us were human traffickers. Our article features the Foundation black-vanning undocumented migrants for use as D-Class; that's not subtext, that's the text. You can engage with that text however you want, do all your hand-wringing about "muffled messages" and "claims to do good" and whatever, but to pretend it's not there is at best willful media illiteracy.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Vollkorn'"]]##721D6C|B: Some people simply have no moral compunctions about the method by which they extract wealth from children.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Source Code Pro'"]]##D58936|N: I learned that there is a fundamental and unbridgeable disconnect between how we are written and how we are portrayed by other parties, and that it both sucks and is unavoidable. Also I looked at the comments and apparently loads of people still can't accurately identify furries.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: It's the faces, people! Does the character have a human face or an animal face? We have human faces!##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: I learned that if you ever suggest doing this again I will shove you in a locker and dump you in a river.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Open Sans'"]]##BD1E1E|W: Ah well. It was a terrible idea, but we did it anyway and isn’t that how life is sometimes? Have a good night, all!##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Atkinson Hyperlegible'"]]##422B24|H: Bye everyone!##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'Ubuntu Mono'"]]##3066BE|T: G’night.##[[/span]]

[[span style="font-family: 'RocknRoll One'"]]##00A676|M: I’m hungry, let’s go get sushi.##[[/span]]

[[div class ="nanami"]]
N: Already ordered.
[[/div]]
[[div class ="boss"]]
B: Solidarity forever.
[[/div]]
**[End Bumper: Stella Signalis by [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-952 House of Spades]]**
[[/div]]



[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]]
> **Filename:** Excerpts from //Is There Anything These Killer Kitties Won’t Do? - SCP-2085 - The Black Rabbit Company//
> **Name:** //Is There Anything These Killer Kitties Won’t Do? - SCP-2085 - The Black Rabbit Company//
> **Author:** SCP Explained - Story & Animation
> **License:** CC-BY-SA-3.0
> **Source Link:** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mhl3nr0Is24 Youtube]
> **Additional Notes:** Unformatted text in quote boxes is taken from the transcript of the video in question.
> **Derivative Of:** (Situational)
[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]

BRC-Cast 243: A Nice Content Farm Upstate

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