Jiwoahn's Author Page

Link to article: Jiwoahn's Author Page.

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[[size 90%]]##grey|**NAME:**##[[/size]]
[[size 220%]][[span class="bblock"]]**8675**[[/span]] [[span class="bblock"]]**309**[[/span]][[/size]]

[[/div]]

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[[size 90%]]##grey|**LOCATION:**##[[/size]]
[[size 220%]]**SITE-48, SITE-56, AREA-73**[[/size]]

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[[include component:image-block
name=IMG_2860SMALL.jpg|
caption=Subject's dog.]]

**DESCRIPTION:** Subject is a proud graduate of Brighton High School in Positano, California, USA. Subject frequents convenience stores on a daily basis. It is of note that this individual prefers Site-48, and only visits Site-56 as a requirement of his employment.

Subject was hand-selected by the O5 Council to function as an American liaison for Canadian Foundation facilities. Subject has so far visited only Area-73 in British Columbia.

Subject claims to be an expert regarding trombones, euphoniums, and diecast miniature cars, but this has not been confirmed.
------
[[=]]
++ DOCUMENTS

The following is a complete list of all documents written by this subject.
[[/=]]

[[=]]
++ MOST RECENT
[[/=]]

[[div class="skin_note"]]
= [[size larger]]**[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-6384 SCP-6384]**[[/size]]

= **Dude, Where's My Car?**

= "I have the legal right to a lawyer! //Why// won't you respect that right?"
[[/div]]
[[size 0%]]Jenny, I've got your number![[/size]]
------
[[=]]
++ OTHER WORKS
[[/=]]

[[div class="skin_note"]]
= [[size larger]]**[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-3763 SCP-3763]**[[/size]]

= **A Piece of Him is Still Around**

= "My dad liked to keep secrets, especially around my mom, when she was still around."
[[/div]]
[[size 0%]]Jenny, I've got your number![[/size]]
[[div class="skin_note"]]
= [[size larger]]**[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-3987 SCP-3987]**[[/size]]

= **Purifying Exclamation**

= The higher the fan speed, the higher the volume.
[[/div]]
[[size 0%]]I want to make you mine![[/size]]
[[div class="skin_note"]]
= [[size larger]]**[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-4081 SCP-4081]**[[/size]]

= **Audition Interference**

= No more warnings will be given.
[[/div]]
[[size 0%]]Jenny, I've got your number![[/size]]
[[div class="skin_note"]]
= [[size larger]]**[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-4350 SCP-4350]**[[/size]]

= **I See Yellow People**

= Repeated test drives by other Foundation personnel confirmed the anomaly.
[[/div]]
[[size 0%]]Eight six seven five three oh nine![[/size]]
[[div class="skin_note"]]
= [[size larger]]**[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-4618 SCP-4618]**[[/size]]

= **Anomalous Carpool**

= Instances of SCP-4618-A claim to be instructors employed by Brighton High School.
[[/div]]
[[size 0%]]Could you stop snooping around in my author page source code?[[/size]]
[[div class="skin_note"]]

= [[size larger]]**[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-5384 SCP-5384]**[[/size]]

= **Everybody Gets A Car!**

= Many civilians naturally accepted the offer due to the financial advantage of receiving a free car.

[[/div]]
[[size 0%]]I got it! I got it!.[[/size]]
[[div class="skin_note"]]
= [[size larger]]**[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-5472 SCP-5472]**[[/size]]

= **A Portal to a Mansion in the Back of a Van**

= "No idling engine, no water to flush down any books."
[[/div]]
[[size 0%]]I got your number on my wall![[/size]]
[[div class="skin_note"]]
= [[size larger]]**[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-6814 SCP-6814]**[[/size]]

= **Going Postal**

= "I don't have a life outside of work."
[[/div]]
[[size 0%]]I got it, I got it![[/size]]
[[div class="skin_note"]]

= [[size larger]]**[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-7661 SCP-7661]**[[/size]]

= **When Will Mommy Come Back?**

= A flash of light appears within SCP-7661.

[[/div]]
[[size 0%]]For a good time, for a good time call![[/size]]
[[div class="skin_note"]]
= [[size larger]]**[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-2772-j SCP-2772-J]**[[/size]]

= **SUV Sales Pitch**

= Only 97,223 miles!
[[/div]]
[[size 0%]]For more information please reread.[[/size]]
[[div class="skin_note"]]
= [[size larger]]**[http://www.scp-wiki.net/thalbrum-vehicle-security ZLQMK/6XY4R/V4D3R]**[[/size]]

= **Thalbrum Vehicle Security System**

= We have a lot of work to do and a lot of money to make.
[[/div]]
[[size 0%]]For more information please reread.[[/size]]
[[div class="skin_note"]]

= [[size larger]]**[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/choudhury-insurance SCP-4350 / SCP-6987 TALE]**[[/size]]

= **Agent Choudhury Files an Insurance Claim**

= "Your call has expired," the voice responded. "Please try again later."

[[/div]]
[[size 0%]]For more information, please reread this article.[[/size]]
[[div class="skin_note"]]
= [[size larger]]**[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/art:jiwoahn-artwork-7025 SCP-7025 ARTWORK]**[[/size]]

= **Victoria Brassington Is Killed By A Bus**

= Based off [http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-7025 SCP-7025] by [[*user GreenWolf]].
[[/div]]
------
[[=]]
++ COMMENTARY

The following is a complete list of commentary from the subject regarding their projects and files, in order of completion.


[[collapsible show="+ Show Commentary" hide="- Hide Incoherent Narcissistic Ramblings"]]

[[<]]

> = **SCP-2772-J**
> 
> This is the first article on the wiki that survived. I //actually// thought I'd be stuck only writing joke articles, but this mindset proved false. If a certain deleted joke SCP still existed, Gleason's little Expedition would be downvoted into oblivion and I wouldn't be here. Gleason didn't sell his SUV in time to beat the smog check (it passed anyway).
> 
> **Fun Fact:** My original draft called it an "Explorer", but no one seemed to notice.

> = **SCP-3763**
> 
> Second article. An attempt at making people feel things, but in hindsight would've been stronger exploring MC&D tropes. Also possibly a bit cliche, since it's a "overpowered item" trope, but the drawbacks are there. Knapp still can't rid the taste of oil.
> 
> **Fun Fact:** I called that exact Biscayne a "Bel Air" once, didn't go well.

> = **ZLQMK/6XY4R/V4D3R**
> 
> Third article. Ties into 3763 in a way that maybe wasn't the best. Did receive the [[*user RockTeethMothEyes]] Seal of Approval. I made it a bit too long, but it gets the point across. Boudames is still known as a dirty double-crosser at Site-48.
> 
> **Fun Fact:** RTME uses a similar signature style for Amos Marshall in [http://www.scp-wiki.net/dream-daycare D2924/6RE33/945AM].

> = **SCP-4081**
> 
> Fourth article. Used to be an infinite hallway, but was scrapped. That was a good idea. Eventually it morphed into a story about an angry non-Euclidean PTA doxxing the Foundation with their notes. Lutz never moved back into her old house.
> 
> **Fun Fact:** Received the [[*user pxdnbluesoul]] Seal of Approval in the Week 12 Recap SCP Cafe Podcast. 

> = **SCP-3987**
> 
> Fifth article. [[*user DrLeibowitz]] knows it as "The Screaming". Had a lot of usage of the word "scream", but was changed for being too non-clinical. Wasn't confident that the document revisions would do well, but it's still up. PoI-2919 doesn't remember his art piece anymore.
> 
> **Fun Fact:** One of my old classmates had the surname Zannis.

> = **SCP-4350**
> 
> Sixth article. Came up with it while stuck in traffic, posted it two days later. Vehicle involved is Mitsubishi Galant because of its rarity and quirky existence. Any relations to [http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1218 SCP-1218] is purely coincidental. Choudhury still drives his rental car, he never got his old one back.
> 
> **Fun Fact:** Received the [[*user pxdnbluesoul]] Reluctant Seal of Approval in the Week 13 Recap SCP Cafe Podcast.

> = **SCP-4618** 
> 
> Seventh article. Had the idea ever since I joined this site. Four forums, three months, and one deleted article later, here we are. I remember [[*user Doctor North]] commenting on my now-gone first draft about how "Special Containment Procedures shouldn't be redacted". This has stuck with me ever since. Some of the Site-48 personnel actually had an SCP-4618-A teacher back in high school.
> 
> **Fun Fact:** The "unrelated experiment" mentioned in SCP-2772-J is an outdated reference to the original draft. 

> = **SCP-5472**
> 
> FOUR YEARS. //<holds up four fingers for emphasis>// FOUR FUCKING YEARS since my last article. //AND// I got the //very last// open Series VI slot (that wasn't the [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-5257 GoblinCon slot]).
> 
> Eighth article. Originally rather comical with "portal to mansion in back of van" repeated a lot, but [[*user Comrade Waldo]] convinced me to change it. Thank 343 he did. Agent Farmos doesn't get paid by the hour, none of them do.
> 
> **Fun Fact:** Did I mention it's been four fuckin' years?

> = **SCP-6814**
> 
> Ninth article. Originally focused on the Grumman LLV, but once again [[*user Comrade Waldo]] recommended a change. Kinda glad I listened. Viazzo eventually wrote the promised article, it was presented to the Ethics Committee during their meeting regarding SCP-6814.
> 
> **Fun Fact:** The name "Dennis" was reused from a different draft about an anomalous vanpool, maybe it'll resurface one day.

> = **Victoria Brassington Is Killed By A Bus (SCP-7025 Artwork)**
> 
> Drew it over one June night. 
> 
> **Fun Fact:** The bus is based off the Rolland Coach Line bus from the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Final_Destination_5 Final Destination 5 movie,] because when I initially read [[[SCP-7025]]], I went "This feels just like Final Destination".

> = **Agent Choudhury Files an Insurance Claim**
> 
> Tenth article, and my very first Tale. Was inspired to write it after listening to the EU Reading Club Discord Chat argue about whether [[[SCP-4350]]] deserved the vehicle tag or not. Personally, I think it does, but I might be a little biased. Ben the HMCL guy eventually installed the original SCP-4350 glass back into Choudhury's Galant.
> 
> **Fun Fact:** You can listen to the argument [https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/scp-wiki-archives/episodes/EU-Reading-Club--November-13--2022-e1qn22b here.] Juicy stuff starts around 1:05:00. 

> = **SCP-5384**
> 
> Eleventh article. Wanted the 7722 slot as a reference to my first SCP, [[[SCP-2772-J]]], but that was [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-7722 soon taken.] So I decided on the 7782 slot, but that was [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-7782 taken as well.] Eventually I settled on the last Series VI slot //again// (it had opened a couple months after I posted [[[SCP-5472]]]). Choudhury crashed his new truck two weeks after he got it.
> 
> **Fun Fact:** The "Ford Pintos" MTF nickname is a reference to [https://www.tortmuseum.org/ford-pinto/ Lee Iacocca's role in its development].

> = **SCP-7661**
> 
> Twelfth article, and a remix of [[[SCP-1676]]]. Started the draft as soon as [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/remixcon2023 RemixCon] was announced, wrote it in a week, then cut my workday short to get home in time for posting to open. 7661 was the //very first// RemixCon submission, a fact that didn't even end up mattering in the end. Stafford never got used to administering amnestics onto civilians.
> 
> **Fun Fact:** I took the surname "Macrada" from fellow author [[*user Roufhous]]' article [[[SCP-4276]]]. 

> = **SCP-6384**
> 
> Thirteenth article. A rewrite of an SCP about antimemetic cars, because 90s Hyundais were so generic and forgettable. Honestly, I'm not sure how 6384 turned into a story of a bank-robbing chemist betraying his partner in crime, but this draft's been cooking for long enough. Daniels and Levins each got forty years in prison, where they died of dementia induced by Compound 6384-A consumption.
> 
> **Fun Fact:** The name "Vernon Douglas" comes from Scott Gairdner's [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfCYZ3pks48 Sex Offender Shuffle.]

[[/<]]

[[/collapsible]]

------
++ TESTIMONIALS

The following is a complete list of all testimonials regarding the subject.


[[collapsible show="+ Show Testimonials" hide="- Hide Thinly Veiled Undeserved Insults"]]

[[<]]

> I don't know him very well, so I really can't say anything about him.
> [[>]]
> -Dr. Victoria Vomac
> [[/>]]

> Oh, him? Honestly, the less you know, the better.
> [[>]]
> -Dr. Franklin Ficarra
> [[/>]]

> Back when I used to work at Site-48, with the classic car, he was known as "that guy", you know? He didn't do much, but when he did anything, he did it right the first time.
> [[>]]
> -Dr. Bradson Boudames
> [[/>]]

> Guy's not good at decisions. I saw him look at my SUV, and I offered to sell it to him. He said that he would think about it, so I was surprised when I saw him drive up in this economy sedan a few days later. He could've bought my Expedition for two-thirds of the price of how much he paid for his... what car was it again? Whatever, some people just don't know how to decide for themselves.
> [[>]]
> -Dr. Gary Gleason
> [[/>]]

> I don't know what he does here. I've never seen his credentials, but he seems to have a high enough clearance to access anything in Site-56. He can't be the Site Director, that's Palermo, but he can't be a janitor, either.
> [[>]]
> -Dr. Sharon Sheffield
> [[/>]]

> Man kept calling me in the middle of the night to ask me for Taco Bell delivery. I eventually found out that he kept mixing the 3 and 7 keys on his phone, and if you swapped them around in my Foundation-issued phone number, you'd get the number for Site-48's Taco Bell. 
> [[>]]
> -HMCL Supervisor Benjamin Bolton
> [[/>]]

> One time, he came up to me and asked why our money looks like Monopoly money. Then he teased us Canadians for paying too much for cell service and car insurance. Like, who told him about those things?
> [[>]]
> -Researcher Daniel Waller
> [[/>]]

> He sleeps at his desk all day. I've never seen him do any sort of work around here. I think he hires a D-Class to do his paperwork for him. We may not deal with the most dangerous anomalies around here, but his work "ethic" is still unprofessional.
> [[>]]
> -Researcher Terrance Tsai
> [[/>]]

> One time, I caught him using the Thaumiel-class transmogrifier machine in the storage room to make pizza. I threatened to report him, and he offered me a slice. I asked for pineapple toppings, and he gasped and ran out the room without his pizza.
> [[>]]
> -Researcher Veronica Viazzo
> [[/>]]

> He's a little too eager about violating people's constitutional rights, but it brings results, so I'm not complaining.
> [[>]]
> -Researcher Melissa Mitchell
> [[/>]]

> Dude, he's one of the rudest people //ever//, like I don't know how //anyone// manages to deal with him every day. I sure fuckin' can't. Like one time, we were enjoying ourselves at Site-56, and he decides to narc on me to the Site Director! I got demoted because of him!!
> [[>]]
> -Researcher Dominic Donahue
> [[/>]]

> I remember when I kept hearing that damn screaming noise everywhere, and he communicated with me by writing notes and giving the messages to me. That was after the phase where he would scream into my ears about where the bathrooms were for the fiftieth time.
> [[>]]
> -Researcher Samuel Celi
> [[/>]]

> When do I get to go back home? My kids are worried sick, and I think I forgot to turn the oven off before I left.
> [[>]]
> -SCP-7661-A-1
> [[/>]]

> He asked me to sign his petition and I said no, so he asked again, and I still said no. I finally signed it after he threatened to tell everyone about what happened to me in Iraq. I asked him to elaborate after I signed, he said he was bluffing all along. 
> [[>]]
> -SCP-6814
> [[/>]]

> One time, he asked me whether he could stay a night in the mansion in the back of my van. He begged for weeks, and eventually I said yes. I prepare a nice bed on the second floor, and guess what? Guy sleeps in the //front cabin// of my van itself, in the //passenger seat.//
> [[>]]
> -SCP-5472-2
> [[/>]]

> I offered to hook him up with a new Chrysler 300, and his eyes lit up with that sparkle. So it was rather surprising that he also took glee in giving me that "amnesiac" gas they've got. Will still keep his request in mind, though. 
> [[>]]
> -SCP-5384
> [[/>]]

> You're a great guy, alright? Just let me out! Please, I have teenagers to teach! How are they gonna learn about parabolas without me??
> [[>]]
> -SCP-4618-A-1
> [[/>]]

> = To █████,
> 
> = Your audition is complete.
> 
> = Please do not come again. Please. We beg you.
> 
> = //- Keep Brighton Functioning Committee//

> Sometimes, he would talk about our high school years with nostalgia, even though, well, maybe I shouldn't say. 
> [[>]]
> -Officer Nathanial Neves
> [[/>]]

> I love when he's around! Every day he comes by, he puts Researcher Donahue in his place, which is hard to do, cause Donahue is a complete [REDACTED]. I know that this level of unprofessionalism is frowned upon these days, but █████'s still good at breaking the ice.
> [[>]]
> -Agent Caesar Spago
> [[/>]]

> He offered to show me his trombone-playing skills one time. I said yes, and gave him a date, time, and location to meet. He then tried to spray me with amnestics, but I managed to wrestle the can away from him and do the same in return. Still never got to see him play...
> [[>]]
> -Agent Zachary Polot
> [[/>]]

> I complained to him about my broken windshield, and he offered to let me drive his car. I said "no", and he didn't talk to me for seven weeks.
> [[>]]
> -Agent Charles Choudhury
> [[/>]]

> Man offered to buy me a drink once. I said no, I'm a teetotaler, then he said he was too. 
> [[>]]
> -Agent Preston McNealy
> [[/>]]

> He likes to call me "Triple A" sometimes. Dick.
> [[>]]
> -Agent Arestandos Arada
> [[/>]]

> //Who?//
> [[>]]
> -Agent Gregory Glines
> [[/>]]

[[/<]]

[[/collapsible]]

------
++ ABSENCE PROTOCOL

The following is to be enacted in the event that the subject is absent from their duties for a period exceeding one continuous year. 

[[collapsible show="+ Show Author Will" hide="- Hide Overcomplicated Inheritance Distribution Testament"]]

[[<]]

> If I am absent from the wiki for at least one year since my last activity in the wiki proper, any sandbox sites, IRC, or Discord, please distribute custodianship of my articles (with full rewrite permission) as so:
> 
> **SCP-3763** and **SCP-3987** will go to [[*user PoufyPoufson]]. 
> 
> **SCP-5384**, **SCP-5472**, **SCP-6814**, and **SCP-7661** will go to [[*user Roufhous]]. 
> 
> **Agent Choudhury Files an Insurance Claim** will go to [[*user LORDXVNV]]. 
> 
> All collaboration articles will belong to their respective collaborators. 
> 
> Any unmentioned articles will be public property of the wiki, and can be rewritten by anyone per the Rewrite Team's discretion. 
> [[>]]
> -Jiwoahn
> [[size 60%]]For more information please reread.[[/size]]
> [[/>]]

[[/<]]

[[/collapsible]]


[[/=]]
@@ @@
[[collapsible show="  " hide="- Hide Secret Sandbox Link"]]

[http://hexhouse.wikidot.com/bhl:jiwoahn All] [http://hexhouse.wikidot.com/bhl:jiwoahn-ii of] [http://hexhouse.wikidot.com/bhl:jiwoahn-iii my] [http://scp-int-sandbox.wikidot.com/jiwoahn sandbox] [http://scp-int-sandbox.wikidot.com/jiwoahn-ii links] [http://scp-int-sandbox.wikidot.com/jiwoahn-iii are] [https://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/jiwoahn right] [https://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/collab:jiwoahn in] [https://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/jiwoahn-ii this] [http://scpdsandbox.wikidot.com/jiwoahn-artwork tab.]

[[/collapsible]]

[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]]
=====
> **Filename:** IMG_2860SMALL.jpg
> **Name:** IMG_2860SMALL.jpg
> **Author:** [[*user Jiwoahn]]
> **License:** CC BY-SA 3.0
> **Source Link:** http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/brighton-high

=====
[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]

Jiwoahn's Author Page

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