Capitalize Key Broken (L-47432)

Link to article: Capitalize Key Broken (L-47432).

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EVENT NAME:
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[[=]]
[[size xx-large]]{{FACTORY}}[[/size]]
{{(EST. 1835)}}
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Insubordination-Related Layoff
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EVENT ID:
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L-47432
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IMPORTANCE:
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Low
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LOCATION:
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 Northeastern Florida Pharmaceutical Research[[footnote]]Location ID: PR-4358307-NEF[[/footnote]]

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DATE:
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February 29^^th^^, 1912

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PRIMARY ACTOR(S):
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Former Factory Pharmaceutical Engineer David Donoghue[[footnote]]Archived Worker ID: PHA41404140[[/footnote]]
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PRIMARY FACTORY ACTOR:
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Elder Forewoman Clara Callaghan[[footnote]]Foreman ID: ELD00000871[[/footnote]]

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OTHER PARTICIPATING  FACTORY ACTORS:
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Worker Repairman James Freud[[footnote]]Worker ID:WORKR53026428[[/footnote]]
Security Officer Nero McGonagall[[footnote]]Worker ID:SEC82259253[[/footnote]]
Security Officer Deborah Angelino[[footnote]]Worker ID:SEC73958201[[/footnote]]

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OTHER AFFECTED STAKEHOLDERS:
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Workers in need of James Freud's repair services
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RELEVANT PRIOR INFORMATION:
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In his tenure as pharmaceutical engineer, David Donoghue had the following demerits against his record:
* Requesting a luxury service wherein Modesty Textiles[[footnote]]Advanced Employee Benefit ID: CLOTH-000043[[/footnote]] could be regularly serviced with the application of water and various soaps, in spite of the ban on employee benefit requests;
* Requesting a luxury service in which employees would gain access to sunlight;
* A history of preparing novel iterations of prototype pharmaceutical products without preparing the standard documentation or seeking Foreman approval;
* An informality in his speech and actions towards Elder Forewoman Clara Callaghan.[[footnote]]Such as gifts of flowers and chocolates in heart-shaped boxes. Internal investigation into reciprocal informality and/or leniency on Elder Forewoman Clara Callaghan's part is ongoing.[[/footnote]]

The Factory had recently deployed Prototype Product 37491542 to the closest Worker Repairman Station. Prototype Product 37491542 is intended to transmute unrepaired workers into raw information, in which state they can be fixed and converted back into matter. Recent research into the machine's operations has suggested it may have the ability to manipulate how various concept clusters interact with the being who is being repaired. Some clusters, but not all, are based in the multiple meanings a word can have.

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DESCRIPTION:
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After being informed of the termination of his employment, Mr. Donoghue attempted to use Prototype Product 37491542 on himself. This misuse of company resources damaged both Prototype Product 37491542 and Mr. Donoghue, resulting in The Factory severing ties completely with Mr. Donoghue.

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TRIGGER:
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During Mr. Donoghue's semi-weekly performance evaluation, Elder Forewoman Clara Callaghan informed him that due to the previously mentioned infractions, The Factory would have to terminate his employment.
[[footnote]]
@@@@
> Mr. Donoghue, I cannot shield- The Factory cannot tolerate your unprofessionalism any longer. You have fifteen minutes to clear your desk before you are used as fuel for the machines.
> Use the time wisely, my little mockingbird. I don't give everyone fifteen minutes' notice.
[[/footnote]]

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ORDER OF EVENTS
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**Actor Action**
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**Factory Response**
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Mr. Donoghue asks for an irrelevant clarification.[[footnote]]
@@@@
> Clara, I'll gladly throw myself into the furnace for you. 
> Just tell me it makes you happy and I'll die with a smile on my face.
> I'm going to need your blessing to make it through this.
[[/footnote]]

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The Elder Forewoman patiently clarifies and leaves the room.[[footnote]]
@@@@
> Does it make...me...//happy?// 
> A living worker of your caliber is not easily replaced.
> //Any// worker could become fuel.
>
> Your life is more profitable -to me- than your death.
>
> No, David... I cannot bless your demise. 
[[/footnote]]
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Mr. Donoghue voluntarily activates his tear ducts.[[footnote]]
@@@@
> Without your approval, Clara- life means nothing; death means nothing.
> How can I live? The Factory I love does not approve... How can I die? Without your blessing, Clara...
> Profitable... I must prove I can be profitable.
> Then you will give me your blessing.
> Then I can die.
[[/footnote]]
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Worker Repairman James Freud walks into Mr. Donoghue's cubicle, informing him of a relatively minor discovery on the use of Prototype Product 37491542.
[[footnote]]
@@@@
> Hey, David, any chance you could hook me up with some of those emotion-numbing pills? This one concept cluster I had such high hopes for turned out to be the stupid concept of capitalization. I really don't want to think about my performance evaluation right now.
[[/footnote]]
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Mr. Donoghue demonstrates the use of a new model duct tape for Mr. Freud, and greets him warmly.
[[footnote]]
@@@@
> You know how to change someone's ability to capitalize with that machine? What settings?
[[/footnote]]

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Mr. Freud returns Mr. Donoghue's greeting, but declines to handshake, citing a sudden decrease in limb mobility.
[[footnote]]
@@@@
> I've...I've wired it to an ignition key labeled "capitalize"... If you get this tape off of me, I can work the machine for you... yeah, I'll do what you want! Just set me free!
[[/footnote]]
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Mr. Donoghue expresses his condolences for the loss of mobility and leaves the cubicle, stating he can train himself on the use of Prototype Product 37491542.
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Mr. Freud attempts to resume talks with Mr. Donoghue, but is unsuccessful due to the aforementioned mobility issue.
[[footnote]]
@@@@
> Wait! That device needs years of training to operate correctly! You don't know what else you can mess up without proper training! You- You need me! Please- please don't leave me here.
[[/footnote]]
[[/cell]]
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Mr. Donoghue enters Mr. Freud's station and begins assembling a complex mechanism to automatically trigger the Prototype Product while he is in its Modification chamber.
[[footnote]]
@@@@
> The Factory's whole philosophy is capitalizing on things to the utmost. Taking resources and making the most profit possible off of them. If I can maximize my ability to capitalize using this... Capitalize key, I'll be too valuable to fire.
> I'll be able to stay here. With Clara.
[[/footnote]] 
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Mr. Freud tries to greet passers-by, or anyone within hearing range, of his current location and lack of mobility, to no avail. Kudos to others in the area, on managing to focus on their own jobs rather than getting distracted!
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Mr. Donoghue bids farewell to the hamster in the wheel which powers his mechanism, causing it to start to run, as he steps into the Modification chamber.
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Security Officers Nero McGonagall and Deborah Angelino arrive at Mr. Freud's location to reprimand him for frivolous use of breath. They cut him loose, not before marking it as a demerit on his account.
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The machine continues operating somewhat imperfectly. Mr. Donoghue is converted into pure information. An angular stress of 11 kN/m^^2^^ is applied to the Capitalize key by the hastily rigged trigger mechanism, causing it to deform and break.
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Security Officers alert Elder Forewoman Clara Callaghan to Mr. Donoghue's misuse of Factory resources.

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david donoghue [[footnote]]Factory typists have been unable to refer to this name in capital letters from this point in the timeline on.[[/footnote]] rematerializes, showing signs of a muddled vocabulary and an inability to communicate in capital letters.
[[footnote]]
@@@@
> it is cellar-bastion thyme! factorymen cannot fire donut-glue now!
[[/footnote]]
[[/cell]]
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Elder Forewoman Clara Callaghan enters the Worker Repairman station and comprehends the situation.[[footnote]]@@@@
> Oh, david, what have you done?
[[/footnote]] The Elder Forewoman sends the Security Officers and the Worker Repairman back to work while she escorts david donoghue into custody.[[footnote]]
@@@@
> where caller-hand take donut-hue? is caller-hand proud? plz tell me you are proud....
[[/footnote]]
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RESULTS/FOLLOW UP
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As a result of the aforementioned insubordination, Elder Forewoman Clara Callaghan argued successfully to the Board of Directors that the Factory should cut all ties to mr. donoghue. The Elder Forewoman reasoned that since mr. donoghue's attempt to use the capitalization key had backfired, causing the concept of capitalization to be separated from him, any attempt by the Factory to use him for any purpose would end up losing the Factory money. Mr. Freud received another demerit for objecting to this decision.[[footnote]]
@@@@
> This is ridiculous. 
> I haven't tested yet, but I'm fairly certain the two meanings of the word "capitalize" are not as conceptually linked as the Forewoman argues. david can't use uppercase letters, but that's no reason we can't profit off of his incineration. The whole premise is based on some childish pun!

[[/footnote]]
The broken Prototype Product was dissolved into its component parts. A replacement is expected sometime in August. Workers are reminded to not let themselves become broken until then.
The Factory is currently hiring for the position of Pharmaceutical Engineer. Recruitment drives are active.
mr. donoghue objected to his removal from the Factory, in word and in bodily action, from the moment the decision was rendered to his being deposited outside facility walls.[[footnote]]
@@@@
> weight! stop! donut-hue is prophet-table, despite capitalize key breaking! donut-hue show you! donut-hue show you all! 
> donut-hue make company that has more prophets than rocky-fellow! or agnew carnival, or jeep migraine! and then you let donut-hue back in. 
> then clara say she proud of donut-hue.
> is all i want.
> plz let back in.
[[/footnote]]

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Capitalize Key Broken (L-47432)

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