Link to article: Daveyoufool's Proposal.
border:solid 1px #999999; background:#f2f2c2; padding:5px; margin-bottom: 10px;
:scp-wiki:component:license-box
:scp-wiki:component:license-box-end
[[>]] [[module Rate]] [[/>]] [[div style="border:solid 1px #999999; background:#f2f2c2; padding:5px; margin-bottom: 10px;"]] [[=]] ++++ Notice from the Records And Information Security Administration In light of the events of Incident-OO1-Omega, the following document has been made public to all Foundation staff to ensure the peaceful and effective execution of Contingency Schubert-9. [[/=]] [[/div]] **Item #:** SCP-OO1-J **Object Class:** Apollyon **Special Containment Procedures:** As of Incident-OO1-Omega, there is no longer any feasible way to contain SCP-OO1-J or to prevent the coming of Scenario XK-OO1-J. To maintain calm and ensure a smooth transition of the human race into the wide [[[scp-2718|variety]]] [[[scp-2187|of]]] [[[a-slumber-did-my-spirit-seal|customized]]] [[[scp-2731|and readily-available]]] [[[scp-2922|afterlives]]][[footnote]] All Class-G personnel stationed at the Foundation North Kenya Proving Grounds are advised to [[[scp-1557|abandon hope]]], as they know damn well what they did.[[/footnote]], Contingency Schubert-9 is to be enacted immediately. **Description:** The description of SCP-OO1-J is a lethal cognitohazard, and as such, is available on request for all interested personnel. **Addendum - Contingency Schubert-9:** Contingency Schubert-9 is composed of an auditory alarm system at all Foundation sites. The following alerts are to be played constantly. ||~ Threat Level ||~ Alarm ||~ Meaning || || Epsilon-Green || Foghorn || SCP-OO1-J has been stopped, because miracles are real. || || Delta-Green || Klaxon || No activity from SCP-OO1-J. || || Delta-Blue || Klaxon but slightly higher in pitch || SCP-OO1-J has opened its eyes (unconfirmed). || || Delta-Yellow || O5-11 imitating the Delta-Blue alarm || SCP-OO1-J has opened its eyes (confirmed with photographic evidence). || || Delta-Orange || "It's Not Unusual" by Tom Jones || SCP-OO1-J has opened its eyes and is looking at Earth. || || Delta-Red || "It's Not Unusual" Norwegian black metal remix by Dr. Naismith || SCP-OO1 has opened its eyes, is looking at Earth, and Dr. Naismith wants to promote his band.[[footnote]] **Note:** The world is //dying,// Naismith. This doesn't matter anymore. //- O5-12// [[/footnote]][[footnote]] **Note:** So you're telling me that the end of the world - arguably the most metal thing to happen in Earth's history - is a bad time for metal? //- Dr. Naismith// [[/footnote]][[footnote]] **Note:** ...you're not even wrong, and I //hate// that. //- O5-12// [[/footnote]] || || Gamma-Green || Klaxon, Foghorn, Buzzer at the same time || Civilian casualties have begun. || || Gamma-Blue || The entire soundtrack of David Lynch's //Dune// || Civilian casualties continue. || || Gamma-Yellow || Same as Delta-Orange, but with air horns || Civilian casualties continue, but with more of an aggressive subtext. || || Gamma-Orange || Same as Epsilon-Green, but with a muffled eagle cry in the background || SCP-OO1-J is targeting your site, prepare for death. || || Gamma-Red || "Don't Sleep In The Subway" by Petula Clark || This site has been destroyed by SCP-OO1-J, ergo, I can enjoy Petula Clark as much as I damn well please and only corpses will judge me. || || Beta-Green || 10 seconds of an old woman sobbing hysterically. || A species has gone extinct as a result of SCP-OO1-J. || || Beta-Blue || 14 seconds of an old woman sobbing hysterically. || A city has been destroyed as a result of SCP-OO1-J. || || Beta-Yellow || 14.3 seconds of an old woman sobbing hysterically. || A country has been destroyed as a result of SCP-OO1-J. || || Beta-Orange || Beta-Yellow, but "Nearer My God To Thee" plays in the background on an accordion. || A continent has been destroyed as a result of SCP-OO1-J. || || Beta-Red || Beta-Orange, but backwards. || The old woman we recorded is still very sad about the whole affair, and could use a hug. || || Alpha-Black-Omega-Death-Death || The entire discography of Toby Keith || "Good goin', OO1-J, you destroyed our civilization. This is your reward, an eternity of Toby Keith. Was it worth it?" ##ffffff|Actually, I'm deaf.## || It is believed that proper execution of Contingency Schubert-9 will maintain good morale, ease suffering, and relieve stress. In addition, testing prior to Incident-OO1-Omega has found that the volume of these alerts is directly proportional to the level of calm during times of stress. Therefore, usage of additional amplification assets, as well as maximum volume, is encouraged. [[collapsible show="+ Does the black moon howl?" hide="- 'Actually, it's more of a low-pitched, wheezing kind of short mumble, like, do tapirs make any noises? - It's a tapir sneeze.' - 5/OO1-J clearance accepted."]] > To whom it may concern: > > I've received word from various site directors that Contingency Schubert-9 actually //worsens// the level of stress during Scenario XK-OO1-J. Allow me to address some of your concerns to the best of my ability: > > 1. These concerns are absolutely valid and correct. > > 2. In fact, I can assure you that the purpose of Schubert-9 is to make things as unbearable as possible for everyone, and, hopefully, drive us all to kill each other. > > 3. I really don't like any of you, and frankly, I'm very upset that SCP-OO1-J is dealing with you before I could. On a related note - find your own victims, you gutless amateur. > > Thank you for your understanding during this trying time. > > Regards, > > [[[scp-ttku-j|The Administrator]]] [[/collapsible]] [[footnoteblock]] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]