Link to article: Dissection Of An Abnormal Clown Instance.
[[>]] [[module Rate]] [[/>]] [[=]] **Dissection of an Abnormal Clown Instance** [[/=]] [[=]] Dr. Presto Bandit Department of Clown Behaviour and Clownthropology, Trinity College Dublin, Ireland [[/=]] On 01/04/2021, observations from third party ‘[http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/corruption-within-the-clown-industry Starswinger Bigtop]’ were examined in detail in Dr. P. Bandit’s Clown Behaviour and Clownthropology class for educational purposes. Samples were donated under the following circumstances: * The instance showed signs of tampering in internal organs. * The instance was decomposing molecularly due to maligned temporal shifts. * The instance was of unknown origin in relation to all known pocket dimensions. * All instances were deceased, supposedly from the same cause of asphyxiation. Study was conducted to further research into clown anatomy and abnormal occurrences. **Materials & Method** Preparation: Wear protective eyewear, lab coat and respiration mask. The specimen is laid on a cutting board and any particularities are removed (squirting flowers, whoopee cushion.) The surrounding environment is checked thoroughly for intruders. # An incision is made in the specimen’s torso to cut through the protective fabric-like skin. Another incision is made to cut through the remaining layers to reveal the ribcage and internal organs. # The internal organs are removed and examined. The main chambers of the heart are examined. # The surrounding area is checked for intruders. # The neck cavity is checked for signs of asphyxiation, which is found to be caused by balloons blocking the trachea. # The balloons and ‘funny bone’ fluid are removed from affected bones and organs using a syringe. # A handkerchief is removed. # A handkerchief is removed. # Handkerchiefs are disposed of. # The ‘funny bone’ fluid is placed in a container and placed in a water bath at 37 degrees Celsius for 30 minutes. # The balloon material is disposed of through defenestration, which is fed upon by outside intruders. # The specimen and all remaining matter and fluids is disposed of. # The ‘funny bone’ fluid is sent to patron of Trinity College ‘█████ ███████’ **Results** * Dissection of aforementioned specimens was routinely interrupted by unknown humanoids dubbed ‘intruders’ and were quelled through feeding removed balloons from the specimens. * The instance with tampered internal organs was intentionally dissected multiple times beforehand, and was lacking in ‘funny bone’ fluid. The specimen was discovered to have a developed voice box, which was also tampered with. * The instance decomposing molecularly turned into dust after fluid removal. The extracted fluid was found to date back to 1806 through radiocarbon dating. The extracted fluid is significantly more valuable than others. * The instance of unknown origin was incorporeal and could not release ‘funny bone’ fluid in liquid form. The ‘funny bone’ gas evaporated into the atmosphere. Through these results, it’s been found that ‘funny bone’ fluid found in //Corydon// specimens is naturally occurring and methods into humane live harvesting is being investigated. The fluid is found to have regenerating capabilities, as well as fuel for //[DATA EXPUNGED]//. The dissection of all subsequent clowns should be done with great caution, as the manifestation of intruders is common, despite their unknown motives. **Acknowledgements** * Undergraduates of Dr. P. Bandit’s Clown Behaviour and Clownthropology course. * Mr. Bambousio Starswinger, owner of Starswinger Bigtop * Mr. █████ ███████, patron and clown Historian.