Doctor Cimmerian's Cooking Guide For Foundation Employees

Link to article: Doctor Cimmerian's Cooking Guide For Foundation Employees.

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Ahoy hoy. I'm Doctor Cimmerian, and I come from the mythical land of Alabama, ruled by Prester John and home to [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/secure-facility-dossier-site-88 Site-88]. We tend to work long nights and eat poor food. Well, food not up to //Cimmerian Standards// anyways. Thus, I come to you with **four ethical Foundation recipes** that'll keep you from starving on long nights with the [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2986 sad box] and the [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2251 Bel Air disc].

+ __The Apple of Discord__

++ __Ingredients:__
* 1 Apple
* 1 Knife

++ __Instructions:__
* Place the apple on the cutting board so it doesn't roll. If the apple rolls, you're doing it wrong.
* Cut the apple in five equal slices. It's more ethical this way.

++ __Conclusion:__

My good friend Christina Morse came up with this one. When I asked her why five slices, she just said that's the way her parents did it. I then asked her again, clearly, why five slices, more specifically why her parents did so. She said she didn't know. When I asked if that's an ethical response, she left the room. I've decided not to push the issue.

+ __Fluffy Rice and Chicken__

++ __Ingredients:__
* 2 chicken breasts, halved
* 1 10.5 oz can of mushroom soup
* 1 soup can of milk
* 3/4 cup of uncooked rice
* 1 4 oz can of mushrooms
* 1 envelope soup mix

++ __Instructions:__
* Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. If it heats to 350 degrees Celcius, tell your oven to stop doing that.
* Mix all the ingredients together in a 9x12'' glass cake pan. The measurement is very important.
* Place the chicken on top the ingredients, cover with foil, and bake for one hour.
* Uncover, stir, and bake for 15 minutes longer. The chicken might come out alive. This result is unethical.

++ __Conclusion:__

You can potentially serve this with whole, halved, or diced chicken. You have to consider your life choices first, however.

+ __Balsamic Chicken Thighs and Potatos__

++ __Ingredients:__
* 2 lbs chicken thighs
* 0.5 cup white balsamic vinegar
* 2 tsp honey
* 2 tbsp olive oil
* 2 garlic cloves
* 1 tsp fresh thyme
* 1 tbsp of fresh parsley
* 2-3 basil leaves
* Salt
* 2 Large Red Potatos

++ __Instructions:__
* In one bowl, combine vinegar, oil, garlic, honey, thyme, parsley, basil, and salt. If you didn't get that, read it again.
* Whisk until combined and add chicken thighs. Marinade for 20 minutes. This is so, if the chicken survives, it drowns before you eat it.
* Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
* On stove-top over medium-high heat, sear the thighs for 3-4 minutes. While you do this, marinade the potatoes. This is so, if the potatoes survive, they drown before you eat them.
* Put chicken and potatoes in pan and bake for 35-45 minutes.

++ __Conclusion:__

This won the Site-88 Cooking Contest. I won by eating the other entries before they got judged. There was no rule against this.

+ __Chicken and Broccoli Alfredo__

++ __Ingredients:__
* 8 oz rotini
* 12 oz broccoli
* 1 tbsp olive oil
* 2 boneless chicken breasts
* Salt and pepper
* 2 tbsp butter
* 2 tbsp flour
* 3/4 cup of chicken broth
* 3/4 cup of milk
* 1/4 cup of cream
* 1/4 tsp garlic powder
* 1/4 cup of grated parmesan

++ __Instructions:__
* Cook the pasta. See my [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/orientation-for-the-pastaphysics-department Pastaphysics Orientation].
* Add broccoli in the last two minutes of cooking. Drain and set aside.
* Over medium heat, heat olive oil and cook the chicken seasoned with salt and pepper. Do/cook/season both sides. You don't become a winner by sticking to one side. Let the chicken cool and dice.
* Melt the butter in a skillet, whisk in the flour, and add the chicken broth and milk. Cook for 1-2 minutes. If you freeze the mixture, figure it out.
* Stir in the cream and garlic into the mixture for 1-2 minutes until thickened.
* Stir in the parmesan, chicken, and broccoli. Combine. This is the easiest step as it involves the least skill.

++ __Conclusion:__

They say a wise man thinks once before he speaks twice. This is wrong. I've only spoken my thoughts once and I've been correct every single time.

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Doctor Cimmerian's Cooking Guide For Foundation Employees

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