Link to article: Stallmantic’s Den of Debauchery.
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[[>]] [[module Rate]] [[/>]] You walk into the dorm, and a waft of unwashed human and Doritos washes over you. You gag sensually at the smell. Cautiously, you step into the room, right into a pile of dirty laundry. Glancing around the room, you see a brightly lit computer screen. Something is typing on it. It is I, Stallmantic! I lack a shirt, presumably forgetting to put one on when I woke up. Busily typing away, I do not notice your arrival. With trepidation, you slink into the Den of Writing™. As you approach my chair, you trip on one of the many Mountain Dew cans on the floor. I reach out with my cat-like reflexes, trained from years of grabbing cans of soda, and catch you. I drop you on the ground. "You broke my concentration" I groan. I continue my work. You get up and look over my shoulder. It appears that I am working on a new article for you to enjoy. You are pleased by this. Going over these words, you can tell that I am, and have always been, writing for you, and you alone. You would embrace me, but my pungent odor repels you. It appears that I have been so busy writing that I have done nothing else. You notice me switch tabs. It appears that I am now shitposting on #site19 under the name Stallmantic! You can tell that I am doing it for your sake, because after all, I am writing for you. You know that if you want any SCP or tale critiques, you could just send me a private message. I stand up from my chair, and face you directly. "I have been writing, just for you," I purr. "I have always been infatuated by your hair, or potentially also your lack of it, your two arms, and your at least one eye." This level of detail shows you how I know you personally, even across the vast expanses of the internet. I get down on one knee and open a small ring box. It contains three links. You don't think about the logistics of it, you just click on them, read, and upvote. You also know that I love critique, and want to improve my writing. After all, I'm writing for your pleasure. The links read: **SCPs/GoI Docs:** * [[[SCP-3136]]]: Here Be Monsters. My very first skip, and my first testament to my love for you. * [[[SCP-V1L3-J]]]: A VILE Machine. Because you loved my earlier me x you, and only you, I wrote some more with SCPs. Reading these makes you excited and confused beyond measure. * [http://scp-wiki.net/scp-4520 Alea Iacta Est:] Unfortunately they aren't the cool sexy dice, but they are really cool, if you're one of those gamers who likes D&D. **War on All Fronts:** * [http://www.scp-wiki.net/analysis-of-the-plokamisuchus Analysis of the Plokamisuchus:] GoI docs are sexy... right? * [http://www.scp-wiki.net/project-sensuikan Project Sensuikan:] Sliding into your DMs with a submarine that goes through dimensions and stuff. **Fifthist Tale Series (On Hiatus):** * [http://www.scp-wiki.net/recruiting Recruiting:] The first part of my tale series. You absolutely cannot wait for the next installment, and the thought excites you in your most tender of regions. * [http://www.scp-wiki.net/the-road-again On the Road Again:] The long wait for a continuation was agonizing, but you persisted and got a short piece of hillbilly literature. **Future Foundation:** * [http://www.scp-wiki.net/the-spectre-on-pike The Spectre on Pike:] The first tale in an exciting vaporwave inspired fever dream. * [http://www.scp-wiki.net/dancing-to-the-tune Dancing to the Tune:] Tale 2 of Future Foundation. Contains cool and sexy things like murder and summary execution. * [http://www.scp-wiki.net/a-legend-of-low-birth A Legend, of Low Birth:] A nice, yet sensual fireside chat. Part 3 of Future Foundation. I blow a kiss towards you. My breath is rancid, but carries a promise: "I'll keep writing, just for you". [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]