Du's On First?

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**Du's On First?**
**Author:** [[*user OliverMemphis]]

Nott's on second, Ngo's on third, no-one's on fourth and Forth is on fifth. And William Wettle is on his own.

**[[[not-actually-from-memphis |More by this author]]]**
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**Security Footage, Replication Studies Office, Site-43**
**11 October 2024**

-----

//[Dr. Bastien LeBlanc enters Dr. William Wettle's office.]//

**Dr. LeBlanc:** Hey, I've got a bunch of forms to deal with. Just need to check over some things with you.

**Dr. Wettle:** Sure, go on.

//[Dr. Wettle waves dismissively as Dr. LeBlanc takes a seat.]//

**Dr. LeBlanc:** OK. Request for a psych eval of a contained subject so that we can run some tests on it. Who is it that signs off on these, is it Ngo?

**Dr. Wettle:** No.

**Dr. LeBlanc:** Great, I'll send that off to her. Th--

**Dr. Wettle:** //No.//

**Dr. LeBlanc:** What?

**Dr. Wettle:** It's not Ngo. It's-- hang on...

**Dr. LeBlanc:** Oh, I thought you said Ngo.

**Dr. Wettle:** I did say no.

**Dr. LeBlanc:** Then why--

**Dr. Wettle:** It's her deputy, I think. I forget his name.

//[Dr. Wettle starts typing a query into his computer.]//

**Dr. LeBlanc:** Oh! Dr. Nott, I think.

**Dr. Wettle:** Not him!

**Dr. LeBlanc:** Great, I'll--

**Dr. Wettle:** No!

**Dr. LeBlanc:** It //is// Ngo?

**Dr. Wettle:** No, it-- n...

//[Dr. Wettle stammers, then scowls and resumes typing.]//

**Dr. Wettle:** Niven! That's the name. Damien Niven. Send it to him.

**Dr. LeBlanc:** Right, got it. Uh, then there was some stuff for Security & Containment...

**Dr. Wettle:** Oh.

**Dr. LeBlanc:** I thought O moved to P&S?

**Dr. Wettle:** What?

**Dr. LeBlanc:** Ji O moved to the MTF forces last year.

**Dr. Wettle:** What's G.O. stand for?

**Dr. LeBlanc:** No, that's her name.

**Dr. Wettle:** What's Ngo got to do with it?

**Dr. LeBlanc:** Nothing! The agent's name is O.

**Dr. Wettle:** Oh? Did you forget something?

**Dr. LeBlanc:** I'm fine. I just don't know who I'm sending this security paperwork to.

**Dr. Wettle:** Why have we got security paperwork?

**Dr. LeBlanc:** One of the keycard readers broke.

**Dr. Wettle:** Why?

**Dr. LeBlanc:** It was Lab W, actually. Lab Y is fine.

**Dr. Wettle:** //Why did it break, Bastien?//

**Dr. LeBlanc:** That would be because someone kept shaking the casing until it came loose.

**Dr. Wettle:** Fuck's sake. Isn't that a maintenance problem, not a security problem?

**Dr. LeBlanc:** Might be both. Does this report need to go to Torosyan //and// Kuroki?

**Dr. Wettle:** No.

**Dr. LeBlanc:** You want it sent to //Ngo//?

**Dr. Wettle:** NO!

**Dr. LeBlanc:** OK, I'll send it.

**Dr. Wettle:** No. Shut up. Shut the fuck up.

//[Dr. Wettle takes a deep breath.]//

**Dr. Wettle:** Send it to Torosyan //only//. Kuroki's already pissed at me for some reason.

**Dr. LeBlanc:** Didn't you photocopy your badge that one time? And those other six times?

**Dr. Wettle:** Shut up. What else?

**Dr. LeBlanc:** Uh, research proposal involving the DUAL Core.

**Dr. Wettle:** Send it to Du.

**Dr. LeBlanc:** I know it's to do, to be done by who?

**Dr. Wettle:** //Zinyi Du in Quantum Supermechanics// is who's doing it, Bastien.

**Dr. LeBlanc:** Isn't it pronounced Xinyi?

**Dr. Wettle:** Fuck knows!

**Dr. LeBlanc:** There's only one Ngo, and I don't think she'd like that.

**Dr. Wettle:** I hate you.

**Dr. LeBlanc:** What, the archivist who retired a decade ago?

**Dr. Wettle:** What?

**Dr. LeBlanc:** Yu Ong. Harry mentioned him to me. Miserable guy, apparently.

**Dr. Wettle:** //You.// Not Yu.

//[Dr. LeBlanc opens his mouth, but Dr. Wettle interrupts him.]//

**Dr. Wettle:** And not Nott the psychologist either. Don't start.

**Dr. LeBlanc:** Not not the psychologist? So it //is// the psychologist?

**Dr. Wettle:** ...what other forms you got?

**Dr. LeBlanc:** Uh, fourth is a requisition form for general lab equipment.

**Dr. Wettle:** Oh, I know this one. Forth is in Temporal Anomalies.

**Dr. LeBlanc:** I haven't got any forms about temporal anomalies, luckily.

**Dr. Wettle:** Requisitions are what A&O do.

**Dr. LeBlanc:** I thought Du was in QS.

**Dr. Wettle:** Keep going.

**Dr. LeBlanc:** Some kind of general questionnaire about the department's activities, but the person I'm supposed to return it to is blank.

**Dr. Wettle:** Well, go take it across the hall then.

**Dr. LeBlanc:** Why would I take it across the hall?

**Dr. Wettle:** That's Blank's office.

**Dr. LeBlanc:** I mean, the bit of this paper that should have a name is blank.

**Dr. Wettle:** Well, go give it to him, then!

**Dr. LeBlanc:** Should I just write in a placeholder name there?

**Dr. Wettle:** NO! Fuck that, I don't want to go anywhere near that fucking guy.

**Dr. LeBlanc:** OK, I'll write in Ngo, then.

**Dr. Wettle:** No, uh...

**Dr. LeBlanc:** Noè's dead.

**Dr. Wettle:** Jesus Christ!

**Dr. LeBlanc:** He's also dead.

//[Dr. Wettle shouts inarticulately.]//

**Dr. Wettle:** Listen, you fucker. No Ngo. Not Nott. Nothing to do with Du. I don't know, and I don't care any more. Just send it to //someone// who actually //gives two fucks//!

**Dr. LeBlanc:** Ah, Dr. Fuchs is in Memetics. Should I give it to him?

//[Dr. Wettle storms out of the office. Dr. LeBlanc follows slowly behind, meeting Dr. Gabrielle O'Connor outside.]//

//[Dr. O'Connor reluctantly reaches into her pocket and hands Dr. LeBlanc a $5 bill.]//

**Dr. O'Connor:** I regret betting on that. It's way too easy to make that guy tie himself in a knot.

**Dr. LeBlanc:** I don't think Dr. Nott knows how to tie people up.

//[Transcript ends.]//
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