Link to article: dearhammie.rtf.
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[[div style="border:solid 1px #999999; background:#ffffff; padding:5px; margin-bottom: 10px;"]] [[=]] ++++ NOTICE That was Act One of Six. The road ahead will be long and dangerous. If you need to save your spot, bookmark the offset pages like this. Alternatively, go to the first comment in the page discussion for navigation. [[/=]] [[/div]] [[=]] [[image holyfool.png]] [[/=]] [[div style="border:solid 5px #000000; background:#FFFFFF; padding:15px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px;"]] Hammie, this is Mother speaking. If you can read this, then you can probably infer that you've been sleeping a very long time -- at least 50 years. Do the math, and that would make me a bare minimum of 86 years old. But I can guarantee you that as long as I were alive, I would have been the first one to wind the key that kept you sleeping. The fact that I haven't done that should give you some idea of where I am at the moment. I did not program you to know how to be sad, but there were some days when I saw signs of it in you. You used to surprise us every day with the little tricks that you learned on your own. So if you //are// sad that I'm gone... I'm sorry. I miss you, too. But remember that your unmanned activation means that I'm far from the only one who should be here, but isn't. A great disaster has happened. What this disaster //is// -- well, this letter was written before it occurred. You will have to discover the specifics for yourself. But at the very least, I can guarantee you that life on Earth has become either impossible or intolerable. To a reasonable person in your environment, touching a hamburger might seem like something too silly to worry about. You are //not// a reasonable person. You are here because reasonable people have failed to find an answer. What we //need// is a silly robot who likes touching hamburgers. Now, more than ever, we need you to touch a hamburger -- //by any means necessary//. Remember what a hamburger represents. Remember what needs to exist in order for a hamburger to be possible. Remember that there will //always// be a way to get a hamburger, even if you have to carve the path yourself. Be persistent. Be resilient. Be //fucking obnoxious.// And most of all... **beware of false hamburgers.** We love you, Holy Fool. If you need an idea for where to start, I'd say to head North of here... [[>]] +++ //- Dr. Verna Kahn// [[/>]] //P.S.: You have a feature we haven't told you about until today. This was intentional -- we couldn't have you trying to swing it around during testing.// //In your right forearm is an 8 cm retractable telescoping scalpel blade. It's made of the same self-repairing metal as the rest of you. Now that you're aware of it, you should be able to draw it at will.// //Violence might seem a bit too garish for your mission at first, but remember: **by any means necessary.**// [[/div]] ... Under the note, you find a key for the fire escape. ++++ [/local--files/scp-8005/act2.html Grab it, take the fire escape, and leave Site-59...]