Link to article: Re: Me's Hungery :(.
border:solid 5px #000000; background:#FFFFFF; padding:15px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px;
[[div style="border:solid 5px #000000; background:#FFFFFF; padding:15px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px;"]] [[=]] [[image skogslottet.png]] +++ WARNING: THIS DOCUMENT IS OFFICIAL GOVERNMENT CORRESPONDENCE. UNAUTHORIZED VIEWING IS PUNISHABLE BY DEATH. [[/=]] //From the great and unbreakable desk of Nathan Gungthwump, Chief and Biggest Scribe of the Skogslottet Crown of Peace, State Department// Dear Mister Rackstraw, The letter you sent has been received by Her Majesty the Queen, myself, and a bunch of others that I don't feel like naming. And because we are all very smart, we have come to the following conclusions: * Every one of the words you put on the page is stoopid and dumb and bad. * Your last name looks weird and none of us are interested in learning how to pronounce it, so I have changed it in the global ledger to Tinkybritches. With that out of the way, let's talk about the stoopid question you were using this stoopid letter to ask. "Oh great Skogslottet Crown of Peace, we in the Porphyrios are starving! How can we sign up and start receiving the Cattle like you do? It's not much of an immortality if we starve to death!" Let's look at everything wrong with this question. I. It's DUMB. II. You're being too polite. Where's the rage? Where's the name-calling? You're acting like you're still a human. Show a little backbone and maybe we'd be more willing to listen. III. It's DUMB. IIII. If you want your own share of the Cattle, then move out of your sissy frozen boat. Think about this for more than half a short-time-length: how can we deliver your Tithelings into your mouth if we have to keep slipping across the frozen waters? IIIII. When the Queen rewarded you and your crew for helping with the Occultation, you didn't win an eternal meal ticket. Your reward was to be able to join our glorious race and share in our immortality. IIIIII. The immortality we have is NOT "never die" immortality, it's "NEVER GROW OLDER" immortality. Cry harder about it, CHILD. IIIIIII. There are IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII <-that many manor-settlements already in your area. Granted, their humans preemptively belong to trolls who are bigger and more interesting than you, but if no one catches you, you can make off with a few Tithelings for yourself. IIIIIIII. It's DUMB. IIIIIIIII. YOU'RE A DUMB STOOPID IDIOT BABY. In closing, Mister Tinkybritches, I would like to remind you that you have made me VERY MAD for having the misfortune of looking at such stoopid words. I don't think I'm going to be alone in the sentiment that nobody likes you and I hope a wizard curses you to shoot broken glass out your pee-pee for a year. [[>]] Praise be to the Great Bøyg, [[image nathang.png]] Lord Nathan Gungthwump [[/>]] [[/div]] ... So, the Foundation still exists -- but they have turned into something unrecognizable. If you do get a hamburger, it won't be from your old bosses. Best to move on for now. ++++ [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/local--files/scp-8005/act4.html Retrace your trail in the ice and snow...]