Link to article: 2. Murgatroyd's Snakey.
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[[=]] [[image theviper.png]] [[size 70%]]Closest approximation of SCP-9005's appearance, based on eyewitness accounts. Photography of SCP-9005 is not possible.[[/size]] [[/=]] [[include :scp-wiki:component:anomaly-class-bar-source |item-number= 9005 |clearance= 5 |container-class= euclid |secondary-class= none |disruption-class= vlam |risk-class= critical ]] ##blue|**Note:** You are viewing the Level 5 clearance iteration of this document. Changes from Level 4 are marked in blue.## **Special Containment Procedures:** ##blue|Due to the fact that the Administrator of the Foundation is indirectly responsible for a disproportionately high amount of //de facto// Procedure 20-Murgatroyd, SCP-9005 is to be contained in the body of the current Administrator.## ##blue|However, should the current instance of SCP-9005-A be someone unfit for the position of Administrator (i.e. SCP-9005-A-RD18, the current instance), they are to be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell at Site-491. Their designated containment manager will assist them through the daily enactment of Procedure 20-Murgatroyd for as long as possible.## **Description:** SCP-9005 is a metallic artifact of unknown origin. Its first recorded appearance came in the form of scant details in the journal of Sir Rupert Murgatroyd, a 16th-century Cornish baronet, collector##blue|, witch hunter,## and //de facto// instance of SCP-9005-A. ##blue|In a failed attempt to research a cure for his condition, Sir Rupert established the Rederring Esoteric Trust, one of the 138 organizations that eventually merged to become the SCP Foundation.## [[include component:image-block name=sirrupert.jpg| caption=Sir Rupert Murgatroyd ]] All efforts to accurately describe SCP-9005 have been hindered by the fact that SCP-9005's image cannot be captured on film or photograph, instead appearing as inconsistent visual distortions. Attempts to directly observe its "uncoupled" state have uniformly resulted in the observer becoming an instance of SCP-9005-A. The "coupled" state can and has been directly observed, but attempts to sketch or verbally transcribe its detailed appearance have been marred by the fact that making visual contact with SCP-9005 for longer than 0.5 seconds results in a subconscious impulse to look away. Researcher Farnese's unofficial artistic depiction (see above) is the closest approximation to date from secondhand details. The following descriptors have been unanimous among analyses of SCP-9005: * It weighs 3.21 kilograms.[[footnote]](Taken from the weight differential of SCP-9005-A instances before and after coupling.[[/footnote]] * It is primarily dull-golden in color. * It is composed of a metallic head, a red semitransparent eye, and between 500-2,000 thin metallic tentacles. * The head is between 5-7 cm in length and 4 cm in width. * The tentacles are anywhere between 1.2-3.8 meters long, possibly capable of variations in size. * The tentacles are medically sterile and capable of piercing human skin effortlessly. * No method to destroy it has been discovered. * It is capable of autonomous movement and flight. * It cannot be removed from an SCP-9005-A. * When uncoupled, SCP-9005's tentacles wind into a single appendage. (As a result, most eyewitness comparisons liken its shape to that of a snake.) * ##blue|When uncoupled, SCP-9005 actively seeks out a new human subject to convert into an SCP-9005-A host.## * ##blue|Coupling involves the forcible subdermal insertion of SCP-9005's tentacles into the host's skin through the jugular notch. While non-fatal, the tentacles create wired connections from SCP-9005 to the host's heart, lungs, brain, and other key points of the upper body.## * ##blue|Coupling lasts until the host's death.## * ##blue|SCP-9005's head remains in the host's jugular notch during coupling.## * ##blue|SCP-9005 causes constant, extreme pain in its host, and prevent the host from going into shock. This can only be partially mitigated through the use of Substance-DESPARD, an anomalous painkiller developed under SCP-001-███.## * ##blue|SCP-9005 will terminate its host unless the host enacts procedure 20-Murgatroyd once every 24-hour period.## * ##blue|SCP-9005's eye glows red until the parameters of Procedure 20-Murgatroyd have been met.## * ##blue|X-ray, MRI, and other means of internal imaging of SCP-9005 during its coupled state are not possible.## ##blue|Further information about Procedure 20-Murgatroyd is restricted to personnel directly involved in SCP-9005's containment.## Additionally, perception of SCP-9005 in a human subject's presence is only capable if said subject has met one of the following requirements: * The subject has heard the phrase "Murgatroyd's Viper" spoken aloud within the past 24 hours. * The subject has made visual contact with SCP-9005 previously. * The subject is an instance of SCP-9005-A. Otherwise, the subject will fail to perceive SCP-9005 or any SCP-9005-A's resultant bodily disfigurement. +++ Addendum 1 - SCP-9005-A-RD18 [[include component:image-block name=9005ard18.png|caption=SCP-9005-A-RD18]] > **Interview Log: SCP-9005-A-RD18's Former Employer** > **Interviewer:** Dr. Mina Ashton > **Interviewed:** Cpt. Kendrick Flannery, LTF Wunjo-12 > **Date/Time:** 1/11/2025, 4:30 PM CST > > <Begin Log> > > **Dr. Ashton:** Thank you for coming in on such short notice. > > **Flannery:** Sure. How's Dabrowski holding up? > > **Ashton:** I'm afraid I can no longer tell you anything specific at your clearance level. But... he's doing as well as he can, given the circumstances. > > **Flannery:** Hmm. I understand you wanted to ask a few questions about him? > > **Ashton:** Just one, actually. > > **Flannery:** So, this could have been an email...? > > **Ashton:** //[Sigh.]// Yes, and that would have been intercepted by 58 different groups of interest. Now, are you going to cooperate? > > **Flannery:** Fine. But make it quick. > > //[Ashton pulls up Dabrowski's dossier.]// > > **Ashton:** SCP-9005-A-RD18. Robin Dabrowski. 20 years old. High school dropout. Atheist, but an adamant apologist for the existence of Santa Claus. Previous employment history: unpaid intern at his uncle's Ford dealership, bouncer for a strip club in Peoria, "professional Cubs fan", and consistently self-employed as a "freelance advertising jingle maestro". Only criminal history is a misdemeanor vandalism charge for writing "THIS IS A GREAT STORE!" on the wall of his favorite 7-11. Hospitalized three years ago after eating a plastic hot dog to impress a girl he met at a truck stop. Has a portfolio website of over 2,000 speculative advertising jingles he has written for companies that either already have them or don't need them, which has resulted in an active thread about him on Kiwifarms. > > **Flannery:** Hey. That last part ain't fair. So some internet trolls hate him. They hate a //lotta// stuff. What's so bad about that? > > **Ashton:** I'm a little more concerned about the fact that he put a link to said Kiwifarms thread on his resume. > > **Flannery:** Oh, yeah, err, uh... He said it means the little jingles he writes can "get people talking," and, uh... Look, just cut to the question. > > **Ashton:** Why in the name of God Almighty did you hire this man? > > //[Flannery chuckles.]// > > **Flannery:** Three reasons. One: I'm aware of the stakes present when you work at the Foundation. But I run an LTF. That's not even Diet MTF. If this were Burger King -- if the Administrator's the CEO, the O5s are the board of directors, site directors are the managers, and you guys are the fry cooks -- that makes //us// the urinal cakes in the men's room. > > **Ashton:** I would have thought D-class personnel would be the urinal cakes. > > **Flannery:** D-classes don't have to pay for lunch! Point being, O5-11 hadn't even heard of us until yesterday. You'll get the effort you respect, and not an inch further. > > Two: In case you haven't noticed, Dabrowski's 6'9", 310 pounds, and could bench press a pregnant cow. You glossed over his bouncer gig like it's just as ugly as the Kiwifarms bit. But his old boss put in a letter of rec, and he says he was a local legend up there. > > In the rare event that someone could reach high enough to punch him in the face, he wouldn't even acknowledge it unless someone else pointed it out. He never wanted to hurt anyone, and he never did, not intentionally. But whenever he threw a drunk out, he'd just pick 'em up with one hand and politely plant 'em on the sidewalk like they weighed as much as fuckin' Barbie dolls, and half the time they were too terrified to even speak. > > And Three: Most importantly, out of everyone who responded to my shady advances, he was the only one who showed up to his interview wearing a tie, and he's the only hired muscle I know who makes a point of saying "please" and "thank you." > > Robin Dabrowski is a good man. > > ... > > Just... please tell me you didn't //actually// make him the Administrator. > > **Ashton:** O5-1 has assumed the role of Interim Administrator until the next election. > > **Flannery:** Oh, okay, 'cause Eleven said -- > > **Ashton:** Mr. Dabrowski is the first non-Administrator Foundation employee to become a 9005-A. Precedent needed to be updated. > > **Flannery:** Alright, good. ... Before I go, I was wondering. > > **Ashton:** Yes? > > **Flannery:** One of the old Administrator's bodyguards was found dead in the other room from the gas. But we found him holding this... long knife? Almost like... > > **Ashton:** A Roman gladius? > > **Flannery:** That's -- yeah, actually. One of them gladiator swords. Real shiny, too. I tried picking it up to put it back in its sheath, but I couldn't find the sheath, and... > > //[Ashton sighs deeply.]// > > **[6/9005 CLEARANCE REQUIRED]** > > //[Ashton rolls in a Shop-Vac for Flannery's remains.]// > > <End Log> +++ Addendum 2 - Subject Intake > **Interview Log** > **Interviewer:** Dr. Mina Ashton > **Interviewed:** SCP-9005-A-RD18 > **Date/Time:** 1/11/2025, 6:00 PM CST > > <Begin Log> > > //[9005-A-RD18 sits on the bed of his containment cell, hunched over and clutching his face. He mumbles a song to himself.]// > > //[Dr. Ashton enters with two security guards.]// > > **Ashton:** Good evening. I was hoping we could -- > > **9005-A-RD18:** [[size 75%]]//[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwJQQux0TF0 Doot-doo-doo, deet deet dee. Doot doot doodoo. Deet-dooooo. Dadoo.]//[[/size]] > > **Ashton:** ... > > **9005-A-RD18:** ...Sorry. That's my little song for when I'm in a lot of pain and I need to be brave. It makes me feel like a warrior. > > **Ashton:** Pretty sure that's the Empire Carpet jingle. > > **9005-A-RD18:** It's that, too. > > **Ashton:** Um, let's get started on your intake. Please state your name for the record. > > **9005-A-RD18:** Okie-dokie. I'm Robin The Jinglanator Dabrowski. Pleased to meet you. > > **Ashton:** It would be in your best interests to cooperate. > > **9005-A-RD18:** Huh? > > **Ashton:** Your //real// name, please. > > **9005-A-RD18:** But it is! I had the middle one legally changed. It was my 18th birthday present from Uncle Bogdan. > > //[She checks her paperwork.]// > > **Ashton:** Oh, uh, indeed you have. My apologies. Anyway, may I see SCP-9005? > > **9005-A-RD18:** I don't have 9,000 of anything with me. Unless we're talking about hairs all of a sudden. > > **Ashton:** I mean the thing in your neck. > > **9005-A-RD18:** Oh -- aw, geez. I'll show you, but promise you won't try to move it around? That hurts the most. > > **Ashton:** Promise. I just want to see it. > > **9005-A-RD18:** Okie-dokie... > > //[He parts his hands, revealing SCP-9005's head from underneath his wrists. The eye is glowing with a brilliant red light.]// > > **Ashton:** Hmm... it's pretty red. > > **9005-A-RD18:** It'd be prettier if it stopped hurting me. > > **Ashton:** Robin, I need you to try something. > > **9005-A-RD18:** I'm pretty good at trying. > > **Ashton:** Repeat after me: "Fuck." > > **9005-A-RD18:** They let doctors say fuck, now? > > //[The glow stops.]// > > Sorry. That was rude. > > //[Ashton makes a note that Procedure 20-Murgatroyd has been completed for the day.]// > > Are you writing down that I'm in trouble? > > **Ashton:** Quite the opposite. This might be hard to explain, but what do you know about what SCP-9005... hmm. Actually, what do //you// call the thing currently buried in your neck? > > **9005-A-RD18:** Mean. Maybe nasty, too. > > **Ashton:** No, I mean -- okay. Let's call it "Neck Thing" for now. > > **9005-A-RD18:** But its name is Snakey. > > //[Ashton's eye twitches.]// > > **Ashton:** ...Okay! What do you know about what "Snakey" wants you to do? > > **9005-A-RD18:** Scream a lot, I think. And say "ow" and stuff. Maybe it really wants me to get the attention of nurses because it likes Band-Aids. > > **Ashton:** Hmm... Usually, when "Snakey" attaches to a host, it sends some kind of subconscious indication of what it wants the host to do. Perhaps you weren't in a place to listen. > > **9005-A-RD18:** Does it want something else? > > **Ashton:** Yes. We here at the Foundation call it Procedure 20-Murgatroyd. > > It means that so long as "Snakey" is in your neck... How should I put this? You'll need to do one bad deed per day -- a different one every time. > > You got it out of the way today by saying a profanity. But tomorrow, you'll need to do something else to meet that requirement. > > **9005-A-RD18:** Oh! ... No, thank you. I wanna be a good guy. > > **Ashton:** Yeah, that's the problem. Because if you don't do it, "Snakey" will kill you. > > Its eye glows red until you've done something morally questionable. And if it glows for more than 24 hours, the tips of its tentacles would impale and scramble your vital organs. > > **9005-A-RD18:** Would that hurt? > > **Ashton:** ...What do you think? > > **9005-A-RD18:** Hmmm... for one thing, I'm pretty ticklish... > > **Ashton:** The pain would be //excruciating.// > > **9005-A-RD18:** Gotcha. I'd better get a lot of ibuprofen, then. > > **Ashton:** For the love of -- No. You would need an //entire bottle// of ibuprofen. > > **9005-A-RD18:** Oh, good. That's only like five bucks if you get it storebrand. > > **Ashton:** //Taking a whole bottle of ibuprofen would kill you.// > > **9005-A-RD18:** ...Holy crap, Snakey's thought of everything! > > <End Log> [[=]] +++ **{{[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-9005/offset/2 < Procedure 20-Murgatroyd log >]}}** [[/=]]