Link to article: REDIRECTING....
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[[div style="border:solid 1px #999999; background:#B42000; padding:5px; margin-bottom: 10px;"]]; padding:5px; margin-bottom: 10px;"]] [[=]] ++ ##white|Redirecting...## ##white|As per the ongoing priority restructuring brought about by Project Beluga, SCP-001 has been designated **Irrelevant/Beta.** Those who have been assigned with SCP-001's containment have already had their duties issued privately.## ##white|This article bears more immediate importance to the orders in your inbox.## ##white|Remember: We cannot afford to be distracted in the face of this crisis.## [[/=]] [[/div]] **Item #:** SCP-UBU **Object Class:** Tiamat **Special Containment Procedures:** SCP-UBU must be neutralized by any means necessary. Neutralization efforts are ongoing via Project Beluga. All non-critical resources have been diverted into Project Beluga as needed. Further information & strategic resources are restricted to Project Beluga staff. **Description:** SCP-UBU refers to a violent and extremely hostile humanoid entity that appeared in Kangaatsiaq, Greenland, on May 12th, 2588. The sudden materialization of SCP-UBU coincides with an ongoing ΩK/A-class Augmented "End-of-Death" scenario[[footnote]] All multicellular life on earth experiences a bodily regenerative effect, regardless of injury or illness. [[/footnote]]. This was believed to be a separate phenomenon until the stream of regenerative lambda waves was triangulated to SCP-UBU. This event also coincided with the following phenomena: * A mass loss of function for all [[[SCP-2578]]]-D, [[[SCP-3319]]], and other objects operated by the Three Moons Initiative. * The cessation of all further [[[SCP-2922]]] communications. * The severance of the extradimensional space known as the [https://wanderers-library.wikidot.com/ Wanderer's Library] from Earth. A representative of the Serpent's Hand cited "irreconcilable security concerns" in the decision. * Several incidents in which a representative of [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/marshall-carter-and-dark-hub Marshall, Carter, & Dark], having gained access to the O5 Council's personal contact information through unknown means, desperately tried to sell the Foundation large amounts of the company's stock. * --**##green|The place that must never have the same name twice##**-- [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/taboo SCP-4000][[footnote]] Due to neutralization, Protocol 4000-Eshu is no longer in effect. [[/footnote]] losing all anomalous properties. A small parchment note reading "Good luck!" was found in the entryway. * [[[SCP-3008]]] being anomalously bought out by an unknown proprietor and slowly converted into a shelter. In addition to anomalously high physical strength and speed, SCP-UBU has reality-bending capabilities to an unknown extent -- usually triggered by screaming or slapping. Defensively, it has remained unscathed from the following damage sources: * Blunt force trauma. * Sustained heavy-caliber machine gun fire. * Temperatures of 1,600 Kelvin. * Sustained artillery fire. * A direct energy discharge from SCP-B7B8. * ██ simultaneous direct nuclear strikes.[[footnote]] This test was notable as the only example so far of SCP-UBU expressing discomfort. [[/footnote]] The only lasting damage to SCP-UBU occurred on 8/14/2784, when the entity chewed off its left thumb out of apparent curiosity. This resulted in SCP-UBU emitting a single scream that lasted seven days, after which it went into a month-long fit of crying and sobbing. The thumb completely regenerated after thirty years and fourteen days. **Anatomy:** The entity is 4.3 meters in height; an exact estimate of its mass remains unknown, but measurement attempts during its brief containment displayed a minimum recorded weight of 15,399 kilograms. Though its anatomical composition remains unknown, SCP-UBU's bodily shape is consistent with an obese, androgynous humanoid. It is covered in hairless, pure white skin that bears a similar texture to that of a dolphin or other small whale. Despite being devoid of eyes, ears, or nostrils, SCP-UBU is fully capable of vision, hearing, and smell. The only apparent sensory organ on its body other than skin is a .5-meter-wide humanoid mouth with a prehensile tongue of indeterminate length. There is a cloaca on its lower body for expelling waste. **Behavior:** SCP-UBU does not appear to understand speech in any known language. While it is capable of vocalizations, the majority of them are used for screaming, laughter, and intrigued babbling. Ever since its arrival, SCP-UBU has been devoted to causing as much destruction as possible. Though SCP-UBU will attack anything indiscriminately, SCP-UBU shows preference in assaulting and devouring human beings in densely populated areas. It takes an infantile and curious approach to violence, often "playing" with its victims for hours on end. The regenerative effect brought about by SCP-UBU's presence has eliminated the possibility of doing permanent damage to anything other than civil infrastructure and property. Ergo, whether there is any greater motive to its rampages other than sadism is unknown. [[div style="border:solid 1px #999999; background:#f7ffff; padding:5px; margin-bottom: 10px;"]] [[=]] ++ SCP-UBU Timeline [[/=]] **5/12/2588, 0533 GMT:** A four-kiloton explosion accompanied by an electromagnetic pulse destroys the town of Kangaatsiaq, Greenland. Survivors recall a "pale green light" enveloping the area. **0615 GMT:** ΩK/A-class scenario begins, triggering widespread panic. **0846 GMT:** O5 command holds an emergency meeting to address a potential ΩK-class scenario. **1105 GMT:** First sightings of SCP-UBU reported. **5/15/2588, 1200 GMT:** In order to properly address the regenerative effect, the Foundation's veil is lifted as per the Broken Masquerade protocol. O5-1 makes a statement to the UN. **5/20/2588:** SCP-UBU arrives in St. John's, Newfoundland, beginning a two-year rampage throughout the city. **5/21/2588:** Mobile Task Force Nu-7 "Hammer Down" engages SCP-UBU in St. John's. **7/4/2590:** 90% of the onsite personnel have been mutilated and regenerated at least five times. As such, MTF Nu-7 deserts St. John //en masse// in protest of "anomalously poor working conditions". SCP-UBU uses the opportunity to break through the defensive line. **10/10/2590:** Project Beluga is founded as a joint effort between the Foundation and the Global Occult Coalition for the purpose of neutralizing the threat posed by SCP-UBU. **12/29/2590:** SCP-UBU reaches Columbus, Ohio. It spends the next year on the following project: * Digging a two-kilometer-deep hole in the center of the city, * Gathering 2.9 million people to throw into the hole, * Repeatedly leaping into the upper stratosphere and stomping into the hole, and * Drinking the resulting squeezed juices. It eventually grows bored with this and moves on to Lake Erie. **1/5/2592:** SCP-UBU assaults several cargo ships in Lake Erie. Twenty ships are thrown out of Earth's gravitational pull. Two of them land on the Moon. [[=]] ++++ [truncated for brevity] [[/=]] **6/10/2670, 0600 GMT:** SCP-UBU is finally contained at Site-59. **6/10/2670, 0602 GMT:** SCP-UBU breaches containment; subsequent retrieval attempts fail. **9/9/2673:** SCP-UBU spends 73 days rubbing its crotch against the Statue of Liberty while howling. (It should be noted that SCP-UBU lacks any sort of visible genitalia.) **2/10/2674:** The Schenectady Agreement is signed between NATO powers, the Russian Federation, the People's Republic of China, the Foundation, and the Global Occult Coalition. As such, due to environmental concerns, further nuclear strikes are prohibited against SCP-UBU. Shortly after signing, SCP-UBU breaks into the ceremony and makes a bead necklace out of a few lengths of woven rebar and fifteen still-living foreign dignitaries. **4/30/2674:** SCP-UBU assaults Site-19 -- [[collapsible show="+ Relevant excerpt from Experiment Log T-98816-OC108/682" hide="- Relevant excerpt from Experiment Log T-98816-OC108/682."]] > > **Item #:** SCP-AFF [[footnote]] Object Class: Euclid. Humanoid anomaly capable of turning living flesh to limestone with her voice. [[/footnote]] > > **Tissue Test Record:** SCP-AFF was able to successfully and irreversibly petrify the tissue sample. > > **Note:** //We'll give her a microphone and a Barton-grade sonic amplification system for this, just in case the sound of her voice alone isn't enough.// -- Dr. Robles > > **Termination Test Record:** Test was met with external interference. > >> <Begin log> >> >> //(SCP-AFF enters [[[SCP-682]]]'s chamber. SCP-682 is hunched over in the corner. SCP-AFF adjusts the microphone of her Barton system.)// >> >> //(Dr. Robles receives word that SCP-UBU is rapidly approaching Site-19. He addresses SCP-AFF over an earpiece.)// >> >> **Dr. Robles:** Stand by, AFF -- we're extracting you. >> >> **SCP-AFF:** But I didn't do anything. >> >> **Dr. Robles:** There's an unrelated emergency. We'll run this test later. >> >> //(SCP-UBU suddenly breaks through the ceiling, landing on AFF and crushing her.)// >> >> //(682 sniffs the air, approaching UBU with curiosity.)// >> >> //(Upon noticing 682, UBU angrily defecates.)// >> >> **SCP-UBU:** //Gashgaah! Bwoff beh gah fwaggah preef! Bwoff huooy gok gak gek gok chag durrrrug dug mnngnam!//[[footnote]] Though the language has not yet been identified, this remains the only vocalization from SCP-UBU to date that resembles any form of speech. [[/footnote]] >> >> //(682 snarls and lunges at UBU.)// >> >> **SCP-682:** //Take that back!// >> >> //(UBU slaps 682's cheek. 682 screams. A glowing mark left by UBU's hand spreads over 682's body. Once the glow completely envelopes 682, the bonds between its cells are instantaneously broken, dissolving 682 into a pool of assorted toxic bodily fluids.)// >> >> //(UBU bathes itself in 682's remains for five minutes while giggling.)// >> >> //(As AFF's body starts to regenerate, UBU tears her head off and eats it. Upon locating her Barton system, UBU proceeds to scream into the microphone for exactly ten minutes, pause to breathe, then scream again for exactly ten more minutes. Only then does UBU leave to ravage the rest of the facility.)// >> >> //(SCP-682's body has yet to regenerate.)// [[/collapsible]] **10/30/2685:** SCP-UBU breaks into Armed Containment Area-179 and swallows [[[SCP-2317]]] whole.[[footnote]] Specifically, the doorway that led to SCP-2317-Prime was swallowed. Whether or not this has affected SCP-2317-K is unknown. [[/footnote]] **3/5/2686:** Following SCP-UBU's assault, [[[SCP-2000]]] has been reclassified "neutralized." [[=]] ++++ [truncated for brevity] [[/=]] **3/15/2750:** Former film star Nash De Groot publishes "the Zonk Manifesto", a book built on the following thesis: immortality and SCP-UBU's rampages have made life on earth intolerable, and the only solution is to enter an eternal coma via guided meditation & hard drugs. As such, a social movement known as "The International Zonk" gains traction. **6/24/2790:** After a lengthy battle with Project Beluga forces in China, SCP-UBU grows bored and retreats into the Bay of Bengal. This marks a three-year absence of SCP-UBU, save for continual underwater seismic events during that time. **2/15/2792:** Cuddletopia, the largest Zonk Pile[[footnote]] A sort of living mass grave composed of unresponsive adherents of the International Zonk [[/footnote]] so far, reaches its initial goal of five million residents and counting. **7/10/2793:** SCP-UBU flings [[[SCP-3000]]] from the ocean, leaving it beached on Indian soil. Several cities are destroyed in the process. After spending a week pointing and laughing hysterically at SCP-3000, SCP-UBU grabs the end of its tail and begins dragging it across Asia. **8/1/2793:** Still carrying SCP-3000, SCP-UBU crosses the Bering Strait into Alaska. **8/29/2793:** SCP-3000 and SCP-UBU arrive on the eastern coast of Brazil. SCP-UBU drags its cargo into the ocean once again. **8/30/2793:** [[[SCP-169]]] emerges. Reports that SCP-3000 had been "tied around its neck" have yet to be proven. [[=]] ++++ [truncated for brevity] [[/=]] **12/10/3020:** The fight between SCP-UBU and SCP-169 ends when the former slaps the latter in the same way as SCP-682. SCP-169 has been reclassified "neutralized." **12/11/3020:** A ten-year period of inactivity from SCP-UBU begins. At this point, despite global immortality, the resulting collateral damage has rendered the surface of the Earth uninhabitable and entirely underwater. Civilization carries on in a single archipelago of floating cities made from ships and debris. **5/28/3028:** The archipelago is deserted. The Foundation's SCPS //Naismith// contains the only 140 remaining humans who haven't moved to New Zonkland[[footnote]] A massive floating Zonk Pile; many of the residents there have resorted to using anomalous means to lose their consciousness and achieve "Perfect Zonk." [[/footnote]]. **1/14/3030:** SCP-UBU sighted in the water off the port bow of the //Naismith//. It vocalizes mockingly before swimming in the direction of New Zonkland. The O5 Council calls an emergency meeting... [[/div]] > **Meeting Transcript -- Re: SCP-UBU sighting** > **Date:** 1/14/3030 > **Time:** 0105 GMT > **Location:** SCPS //Naismith//, Conference Room A > > <Begin Log> > > **O5-2:** Calling roll. O5-1? > > **O5-1:** Present. > > **O5-2:** O5-2, that's me. O5-3? > > **O5-1:** Missing. > > **O5-2:** O5-4? > > **O5-4:** //(Remains silent.)// > > **O5-2:** O5-5? > > **O5-1:** Missing. So's Six through Ten. Hurry it up! > > **O5-2:** Eleven? > > **O5-11:** Hmm. > > **O5-2:** Twelve and Thirteen? > > **O5-4:** Blew their heads off. ...again. > > **O5-2:** //(Exasperated sigh.)// Well, when they get up, tell them we //need// to conserve that ammunition. > > **O5-1:** What we "need" is a fucking plan! > > **O5-4:** You don't say. If only someone would hold a meeting about it. > > **O5-1:** You know what I mean! > > **O5-2:** One, that's enough. > > **O5-1:** //Yes. It is.// > > **O5-11:** We haven't exhausted all of our anomalous options for neutralizing UBU. Where's the //Corncrake?// > > **O5-2:** We've been over this, Laurence! Throwing the //Corncrake// in this mess is only going to - > > **O5-4:** It's anchored 57 klicks due southeast. > > **O5-2:** ...Four, why the hell did you tell him that? > > **O5-4:** Because we're out of wine. Goodbye, everyone. > > //(O5-4 pulls out a pistol and shoots herself in the right temple. Chunks of her skull land on O5-1, who brushes them off in disgust.)// > > **O5-1:** Not the time or place, Four! > > //(O5-4's free hand raises a middle finger.)// > > **O5-11:** Well, friends? It seems the Omega-K has had us up and about so long that our personalities have run out of the fuel we were given from birth. In all likelihood, we'd see better professionalism and teamwork in New Zonkland. > > **O5-2:** ...as a matter of fact, that's a good segue into what I was about to propose. > > //(O5-11 stands up.)// > > **O5-11:** Then frankly, I hope you find the //nicest, cleanest// spots in the mass grave. > > **O5-1:** Where are you going?! > > **O5-11:** [http://scp-wiki.net/dyfscp-001/offset/2 That depends, which way is southeast?] > > <End Log>