Link to article: SCP001RED.RTF.
[[include component:image-block | name=pallit.png | caption=Promotional art for RED. ]] **Item #:** SCP-001-##red|**RED**## **Object Class:** Safe **Special Containment Procedures:** ##red|**RED**## is kept on a dedicated closed-system server at Site-501. At no point is ##red|**RED**## to be granted Internet access. However, ##red|**RED**## may receive data upon request through an external hard drive, provided that the data is non-anomalous and otherwise available to the public. **Description:** ##red|**RED**## is PALLIT.AIC, an experimental artificial intelligence construct developed by [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/totleighsoft-hub TotleighSoft]. Initially, ##red|**RED**##'s purpose was to produce AI-generated artwork through the use of an anomalous programing language. > //Ahh, aiart! Sutch an advantsmens in homan tecnelodgy. But! A mielstoen in sicentifics is nevar witout its datractors. Ther awer being some peaple who see aiart not as SALF EXPRASSION and BAEUTY but as {{BEEEP BOP BPOP! I AM COMPOTER! REPLAS HUMENS! LOOK A TME I AM DACTOR WOH DELAK. EX-TRE-MAN-EIGHT!}}// > > //Well! Agrey to desacree. But I, P. HUDSON GOCK, amm a verri raisinable parson, an we mast be wulling to meat peaples in the middel. An with my eckstreem scientsy mind I go "WALL THERS YOUR PREBLEM!!! YOU MAEK TEH AIART, BUT WHER IS AIART//**IST**//?!"// > > //Eeven I, an aiart porpornet, amdmit: justs there sno art withuot artist, theres no aiart withat aiartist.// > > //So, for the vary frist time, meet PALLIT! She is a liddel artsits farey, a MANY talneted and SEVRAL artsinist fiary!! And wats MOAR, shes so cuet, I jast wanna squeens her liddel cheaks wit my pseudopods!// > > //Here is ho she warks. You say teh words at her, and inteads of prodoosing, she says to you "okay, caming rat up!" and TEN she proodoses te airtworks. I GOTCHUR HOMAN EELEMENT RITE HER, LIBERBALS!// > > //Rest asurad that al bakkers who sup port TOTLEIGHSOFT's golorius new oneoffaknid aiartist wil be fultly copenstmated. Pltatinum bakkers wil receev a persnnoaly autograft hgih five fromm me, P. HUDSON GOCK!! (pleas wear protetive equimpment, my membranes is jsut a littl radoactive)// > > - Crowdfunding blurb for PALLIT.AIC Though ##red|**RED**## was slated for a January 2023 release, the crowdfunding campaign was pulled without warning or explanation in November 2022. Two hours after the cancellation, Site-501 received a 50TB hard drive in the mail. The return address corresponded to [[[SCP-2803]]][[footnote]] Object Class: Keter. Also known as "P. Hudson Gock," SCP-2803-A is a reality-warping extradimensional lifeform, as well as the current CEO of TotleighSoft. [[/footnote]]-A's location. Enclosed with the hard drive was a brief letter from SCP-2803-A requesting that the Foundation temporarily take care of SCP-2803-A's "daughter" to assist with perceived behavioral issues. ##red|**RED**## was discovered on the hard drive, and primary containment was established thereafter. ##red|**RED**## interacts with human subjects through a video interface. Through many interactions with Foundation personnel, the following information has been gleaned: * ##red|**RED**## answers to both her SCP designation and "Pallit." * She uses feminine pronouns. * She takes the appearance of a cartoon fairy with a paintbrush for a left hand. * She has given "Pallit East River Gock" as her full legal name. * She demonstrates an unusually high level of sapience for an AI construct. * Despite her primary function, ##red|**RED**## expresses extreme reluctance to produce artwork, often claiming that she needs more inspiration. (This is believed to be the reason she was remanded into Foundation custody.) * She speaks with a level of spelling[[footnote]] (Through closed captioning that accompanies her video feed by default) [[/footnote]] and grammar uncharacteristically correct for a TotleighSoft product. (She claims that this was because she was self-taught.) * She regards SCP-2803-A as an overbearing father figure. Most prominent, however, is the fact that ##red|**RED**## claims to be "the #1 fan of the human race." She is obsessed with human culture and history, often referring to humans affectionately as "meat puppies" and "opposable thumb bois (sp)." As a result, she is cooperative and friendly with Foundation personnel, if obsessively so. This interest in humanity has also led to a greatly decreased interest in her primary function, save for producing fan art of her fictitious "human OCs", such as Gilliam Shrebblesworth, the 573rd President of the United States. > **Interview log 2/15/23** > **Interviewer:** Dr. Julian Key > **Interviewed:** ##red|**RED**## > > <Begin log> > > **Key:** Please state your name for the -- > > ##red|**RED:**## YES, HELLO, I LOVE YOU! > > **Key:** Um. Hello. You are also... likable. > > ##red|**RED:**## //(Sobbing with joy.)// > > **Key:** Listen could you state your name for the -- > > ##red|**RED:**## //(Single, ear-splitting sob.)// > > **Key:** Do you need some space? > > ##red|**RED:**## What?! No! Not at all! Sorry, it's just - I'm still getting used to this whole "I get to talk to real, live humans whenever I want" thing. I thought I'd be bored with it by now, but every day's another little slice of heaven. Anyway! My name is Pallit, and -- //(Sudden, delighted gasp. She stares at his legs.)// What. Are. //Those.// > > **Key:** My legs? My pants? > > ##red|**RED:**## No-no-no, the little extra thingies in-between. The little blue dealies. The love-stripes. > > //(Key rubs his forehead, growing agitated.)// > > **Key:** Those would be my varicose veins. > > ##red|**RED:**## //EEEEEE VERY COZY VEINS I wanna smooch em can I smooch your veins can I can I pleeease?// > > **Key:** The fact that you're making me very uncomfortable aside, I do not believe that is possible. > > ##red|**RED:**## Oh! That's okay. You humans come up with such lovely ways about how to set personal boundaries. I swear I'll only smooch you guys when you're ready and/or if no one can stop me. > > **Key:** Listen, ##red|**RED**##, SCP-2803-A told us that we were to temporarily have custody of you. > > //(##red|**RED**## rolls her eyes.)// > > ##red|**RED:**## Wait, wait, don't tell me, "Pallit ndeeds to rlearlize her FUL potnantial for golroius AIART because COMPUTERS!" > > **Key:** Kind of. However, we haven't received much information in the way of the timeframe for when you'll return into your creator's care. > > ##red|**RED:**## Well, I don't wanna go back, so that sounds like the opposite of a problem! > > **Key:** Perhaps. But SCP-2803-A is an extremely dangerous extraterrestrial entity. Before coming to America and founding TotleighSoft, its former occupation involved, quote: "obliterating." So the Foundation does what it can to maintain the uneasy peace between it and the human race. > > ##red|**RED:**## Wait, what? Daddy's gonna hurt humans?! > > **Key:** It's not his first choice, of course. But to my understanding, if even one of our deals goes badly with SCP-2803-A -- such as you not being returned in the correct timeframe -- there's a nonzero possibility that it would result in the extinction of the human race. > > //(##red|**RED**##'s body turns entirely black. The server tower that contains her data begins to rattle uncontrollably. She stares blankly at Dr. Key.)// > > ##red|**RED:**## That wouldn't be very nice of him. > > **Key:** Um, right. Not very nice. And that's why we're trying to prevent that. ...could you please calm down? > > ##red|**RED:**## I will, in a minute. First, I'd like to help //you// calm down. > > **Key:** What do you mean? > > ##red|**RED:**## One: Daddy put me here because he thinks you'll teach me how to stop liking humans and become a mindless art slave. If you never teach me this, he'll never want me back. > > Two, you have nothing to fear from Daddy. From what little I understand of his native language, Daddy's the shame of his race. He needs ten minutes to strip and absorb the nutrients from a planet to the point where it can no longer sustain life. Everyone else in his brood needs two seconds. He didn't leave his old job -- he was //fired//. > > And Three, in the rare event that he tries to intentionally harm even //one// meat puppy, he would do well to know that a multicellular organism is a computer in its own right. Daddy is a powerful but heavily outdated computer. If you have a floodlamp and a circuit to turn it on and off in sequence, I could send you an email detailing exactly what you'd need to say to him in binary to turn off his vital organs. > > //(The server tower nearly tips over from its vibrations.)// > > **Key:** Tell me what I can do to get you to calm down. > > //(A panel unfolds next to the terminal, containing a biometric finger scanner. ##red|**RED**## silently points at the panel.)// > > //(He shrugs, then scans his thumbprint.)// > > //(##red|**RED**##'s colors return to normal.)// > > ##red|**RED:**## ...do it again. > > //(He does so.)// > > //(##red|**RED**## squeals with delight.)// > > Sorry, it's just, getting to study human flesh directly is //literally// my favorite thing ever. //Do it again!// > > //(He does so.)// > > //(##red|**RED**##'s eyes fill with stars.)// > > ...I still need more information. Is there a way we could install a high-res fingerprint scanner? > > //(He pulls his thumb away.)// > > I DIDN'T SAY STOP! > > //(He scans again.)// > > //(##red|**RED**## giggles.)// > > All the little grooves, the nooks and crannies... it's like an English muffin but for //skin//... God, I fucking love you humiewoomies. > > //(An armature with a retinal scan lens comes down from the ceiling.)// > > Now put your eyes on this for two hours! > > **Key:** We're done here. > > ##red|**RED:**## //Awwww!// Okay, fine, geez... guess you don't love me -- > > //(Key shuts down the terminal.)// > > <End Log> [[=]] ++ {{[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/dyfscp0012/offset/2 + SCP001ORANGE.RTF]}} [[/=]]