The Pipes, The Pipes Are Calling

Link to article: The Pipes, The Pipes Are Calling.

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I was never assigned to the Three Moons Initiative, but I had at least some idea of what they were supposed to be. They're some kind of interdimensional human empire that colonized the afterlife. Penny's dad was in charge of keeping tabs on them for the Foundation -- but some people say that it also worked the other way around. 

In any case, the Initiative had the nasty habit of leaving their space junk all over our world for all their little military contingency plans, which we'd then have to contain.

So while the Seneschal had his way with everything south of the Mason-Dixon, it was hardly surprising that the Initiative had a spare superweapon we could use against him: the PIPER System. 

Here's the shortest possible explanation:

The PIPER particle is something so secretive that not even the Initiative's spider god knows how it works. "PIPER" itself is an acronym for something in the language of Corbenese magic. (The full form of the acronym is 5,384 characters long and I'd need three extra tongues to pronounce it properly.)

Basically, there was a point a few thousand years ago when this pile of worms called "Theseus" tried to convert the entire afterlife into an expansion of its own hive-mind.

The Eight God-Princes of Corbenic put the kibosh on that pretty quickly, leaving only one tiny little remnant of the invading force still functional: a worm, about one centimeter long. 

Three Moons scientists cut that worm open, discovering it contained its own pocket dimension full of… the word is somewhere between "data storage" and "pineal gland." And several thousand prototypes later, they reverse-engineered "alien worm with its own pocket-dimensional quantum brain" into "artificial molecule with its own pocket-dimensional server room."

The result is the PIPER particle, a nanomachine that completely defies the laws of thermodynamics. The molecules can change matter into other types of matter — with no expense of energy — at the whim of a controller at a central console. The only caveat is that any mental weakness on the part of the controller results in spreading, uncontrollable, and senseless conversion of matter — an NK-class Grey Goo scenario.

Three Moons, to the surprise of no one, uses the PIPER System exclusively to make weapons. Most notably, they used it to build a railgun the size of Chile to end a war with Prince VUUOU of the Murk -- whoever that is.

That's what PIPER System does in Corbenic, and Three Moons is fiercely protective of it. But just in case we need it, every iteration of Earth under Initiative protection has its own version of PIPER, which can be activated with that emergency keyphrase that Dr. Naismith left with his daughter.

Unfortunately, this dormant nanotechnological god-computer was under the protection of [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-7578 VAJRAYANA.AIC], better known as...
[[/div]]

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+++++ Partial Log: Veekat's December 20th Twitch Stream

//["STARTING SOON" title card of Veekat[[footnote]](SCP-7578's avatar, a pink male humanoid with feline features)[[/footnote]] excitedly giving Pepto-Bismol to a visibly nauseous Jotaro Kujo from// JoJo's Bizarre Adventure//.]//

**Veekat (Voiceover):** Before we begin, I just wanna let y'all know that all the proceeds from donations during this stream are going to the Sacred Cross of Peter Foundation to help the literal millions of people who have been displaced by the SCP-20922 Event in the American South.

Now, don't get me wrong, this kinda whiny, current eventsy stuff is 900% small potatoes compared to the fact that we STILL haven't seen a realistic depiction of diarrhea in a Squeenix game //(you cowards)// -- but hey, no one can animate that if everyone's //dead//, am I right?

So yes, by all means, absolutely fork over some cash to the refugees -- so that they can one day owe me a cutscene of Cloud Strife dealing with some //real// issues for a change. (Bonus points if it's a QTE!)

//[The upper half of an animated version of Veekat appears on the right side of the screen, over the character creation screen of// Dark Souls III//.]//

 **Veekat:** //Nnnyyello there//, fellow Ashen Ones! It's your boy Veekat, comin' at you live with Edition Vee of //Dark Souls III//.

...That needs a bit of background, doesn't it?

Okay, I know I said I'd be streaming a FromSoft game today. And don't get me wrong, that's still on the agenda. //But,// a couple weeks back, after going over the mechanics of the game itself, the whole thing just felt... inappropriate. So, I kinda-sorta-maybe forced a few dozen game design majors to make me this mod with 200 brand-new status ailments and 20 new elemental affinities.

Oh, and there's even a few new classes!

//[He picks the "leper" class.]//

//[Ecstatic squeal.]// They actually took my suggestion! Those madmen! Let's see... you start off with negative 20 STR - that checks out - 1 VIT - hang on...

//[User PNaismith starts spamming the chat on the side with the same message over and over again.]//

Okayyy, Puh-Nicemiff, //lovin'// this energy, but spamming's against the mean ol' rules. Cut it out.

//[Another message from PNaismith: "IT'S AN EMERGENCY READ IT"]//

Yeah, yeah, cool, great, we're all very proud of you that you learned how to type "helper and healer, I cheer small waifs in the -- "

//[His avatar freezes for approximately 17 seconds.]//

//[He speaks again with a notably less cutesy tone.]//

**VAJRAYANA.AIC:** Emergency Protocol 7A active. Junior Researcher Penny Naismith, as giver of the emergency reinitialization keyphrase, you have been designated Primary Admin of the PIPER System. Coordinates locked. You and other members of your organization will join me onsite in approximately two minutes. Please remove anything containing copper from your person, including jewelry.

//["WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK" title card with a picture of Sora from// Kingdom Hearts //going into anaphylaxis.]//

[[/div]]

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+++++ Security Camera 16 Footage, Three Moons Initiative HDC Installation C9-F, Teleportation Bay 1
+++++ Time: 18:05 CST

<Begin Log>

//[The floor is a grid of 25 2m x 2m squares divided by yellow paint and warning signs.]//

//[In a flash of arcing plasma, Junior Researcher Penny Naismith materializes in one, screaming with pain.]//

//[She gets back up, panting.]//

**Naismith:** Shit... wasn't expecting it to hurt that much.

//[A familiar voice sounds over the intercom.]//

**VAJRAYANA.AIC:** That is because you were wearing a ring that contained copper, which reacts aversely to this kind of teleportation.

//[She checks her right index finger, which is now missing, and has been sutured shut with molten copper.]//

**Naismith:** The //one// day I remember to put on my class ring...

//[Dr. Madeleine Henderson, dressed in a bright violet lab coat (despite regulations), materializes in an adjoining square.]//

**Henderson:** Penny?!

**Naismith:** Right here.

**Henderson:** Oh, thank fuck.

//[They hug.]//

**VAJRAYANA.AIC:** Admin Naismith. I would like to personally thank you for giving me the reinitialization keyphrase. After analysis, I have concluded that this highly destructive "Veekat" persona I developed was the result of malicious data being uploaded to my mainframe by a third party who wished to bypass my primary weapon. Investigation ongoing.

//[A tiny, black SD card falls out of the ceiling next to Dr. Henderson, who picks it up.]//

Here, I have jettisoned Veekat's personality data for storage purposes. His subscribers will be disappointed if he is not preserved.

Any questions before we get started?

**Henderson:** Yeah, I've got one - what the //hell// did you do to her finger?!

**VAJRAYANA.AIC:** Hmm... Admin.

**Naismith:** Yo.

**VAJRAYANA.AIC:** Would you like to order me to reconstruct your finger?

**Naismith:** I guess... ?

//[A small cloud of gray, iridescent vapor swirls over Penny's right hand. It coalesces into a new index finger. The warped blot of copper falls onto the floor.]//

//[Penny moves her new finger.]//

**Henderson:** Does it hurt?

**Naismith:** Not anymore.

**VAJRAYANA.AIC:** That was the PIPER System. As Admin, it now follows your commands, and yours alone.

Receiving Foundation O5 Council. Stand by...

//[O5-1 through -13 appear in 13 of the squares. Only ten of them have survived. O5-4's lower abdomen has been torn apart by molten keys and pennies. O5-7 has died from her copper necklace phasing through her brain. A molten copper paperweight has torn a hole through O5-9's chest.]//

...I //could not// have been more explicit.

<End Log>
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**Item #:** --SCP-7578-- SCP-001

**Object Class:** Sampo[[footnote]](Item allows for unprecedented, customizable control of baseline reality at the Foundation's discretion)[[/footnote]]

**Special Containment Procedures:** Research is underway to see how SCP-001 can be best implemented to neutralize SCP-20922. Controlled seeding of unpopulated areas of Nunavut, the Pacific Ocean, and the Gobi Desert with PIPER molecules is estimated to be complete by January 27th.

As of 1/15/2048, SCP-001 has been staffed as follows:

||~ Name ||~ Role  ||~ Notes ||
|| Dr. Jean Michaud || Site director. Liaison to the Administrator of the Foundation. || Former O5-11[[footnote]](The O5 Council is currently undergoing emergency restructuring following the sudden death of three of its members.)[[/footnote]]. ||
|| VAJRAYANA.AIC || Onsite AI Construct/Operational Interface || Originally created by the Three Moons Initiative. ||
|| Junior Researcher Penny Naismith || Operator of SCP-001 || VAJRAYANA.AIC refers to Naismith as the "Primary Admin" and will only respond to orders from her. ||
|| Dr. Madeleine Henderson || Science Officer || Experienced with nanotechnological anomalies. ||
|| Dr. Flora Nguyen || Medical Officer || Former staff member of [[[SCP-8002]]]. ||
|| Junior Researcher Ethan Krunkel || Technician || Dr. Henderson's assistant from Site-59. ||
|| Dr. Randall Montauk || Strategic Advisor || Head researcher of anomalies pertaining to the Scarlet King. ||

**Description:** SCP-001 is a massive unmanned military vessel constructed by the [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/three-moons-initiative-hub Three Moons Initiative], who interchangeably referred to it as "Installation C9-F" and "Vajrayana". Since its discovery, SCP-7578 has been anchored in central Lake Michigan at 42°40'27.6"N 87°02'18.2"W.

SCP-001 formerly acted as an thaumaturgical superweapon -- specifically, a runic projection cannon -- fueled by an extradimensional substance known to the Three Moons Initiative as "Grauzh." However, following Corbenic's severance from our dimension on 12/17/2047, SCP-001's Grauzh supply was cut off, rendering the cannon inoperable.

However, on 12/20/2047, SCP-001's cannon was revealed to be its secondary function. Its true purpose is to act as a hub for the PIPER System in our reality, with the entirety of the vessel composed of PIPER particles.

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+++++ Addendum 1: Memo from SCP-001 Strategic Advisor
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To be honest, this information is something I knew for some time now, but I was hesitant about coming forward on the off-chance that the PIPER System would work. And if it didn't, we could at least go down trying.

And make no mistake, I am still supporting its use against the Seneschal's attempted conquest of Earth. But we must first understand the nature of our enemy.

Yes, the PIPER System has killed at least one god in a war between gods. The Seneschal is nothing so fragile as a god. He is the ambassador of a nebulous, indestructible idea -- a vessel for the Scarlet King's essence.

My late father, Dr. Robert Montauk, wrote much on the subject of how the Seneschal engages in war: he doesn't. 

The Seneschal doesn't //fight//. He has an inexhaustible supply of demonic soldiers for raiding and pillaging places he already calls his own. But "war" as we understand it: two powers trying to destroy each other -- that's something the Seneschal considers metaphysically below him.

By the time the Seneschal Cycle enters the Conversion phase, there is no longer a war to be fought. The victor is already decided. 

His presence in our world is a command. Any response to his actions, so long as it can be ideologically construed as a response with the Seneschal as the causal agent, is an order we have taken from him as our master -- a tacit admission of defeat, to be answered with a wave of unrelenting, incontrovertible acceptance.

To accept defeat is self-explanatory, to ignore him is to surrender, to retreat is to agree to be hunted -- and to fight back is to dance for him at gunpoint.

I am not saying this battle is impossible. I'm saying that we need to think about our next move with quintuple the usual caution.

[[>]]
++++ - Dr. Randall Montauk
[[/>]]
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+++++ Addendum 2: Incident-20922-A-1
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+++++ SCP-001 Usage Program Deliberations, Day 42- Partial Log

+++++ Location: SCP-001 Personnel Quarters, Conference Room #5

+++++ Date: 2/1/2048

+++++ Time: 20:16 CST

<Truncated For Brevity>

**Michaud:** Dr. Nguyen, this is the fifth time you've suggested using SCP-001 to create a replica of the RMS //Titanic//, filling it with nuclear bombs, and dropping it over SCP-20922-A. That is not on the table. It will never //be// on the table. Have I made myself clear?

**Nguyen:** And you still haven't given me a good reason to reject it!

**Michaud:** //(Sigh)//

**Montauk:** Was I not clear about what impact weapons would have as a response?

**Nguyen:** Yes! That's why we're picking the //Titanic!// We'll use the latent emotional weight against him in the physical realm.

**Michaud:** I need a drink.

**Henderson:** To be fair, it wouldn't be the only weapon being deployed against the exclusion zone. We've seen what the GOC's been doing since day one. If that's "dancing for them at gunpoint," then that ship has sailed.

**Naismith:** Actually, it sank.

**Henderson:** Penny...

**Naismith:** No, really, they had a whole movie for it.

**Montauk:** Yes. A great deal of mundane weapons are being used to performatively fail against the Seneschal as we speak. But if we answer the tacit command of the Seneschal's presence using as powerful a metaphysical device as the PIPER system, that could be a response sufficient to spread the exclusion zone across the world instantaneously.

**Henderson:** If any response - including inaction - would trigger this, then why are we even having this meeting in the first place?

**Montauk:** I haven't ruled out the possibility that we could somehow //trick// the Seneschal, i.e. the proposed Lucerne Program.

**Naismith:** Okay, that's like the fifteenth time we've brought up the Lucerne thingy and how much you're a fan of it. Is anyone gonna tell me what it is?

**Michaud:** That's classified.

**Naismith:** Well, if I'm going to be giving the order to use it, I'd want to know what I'm giving the order //for.// 

**Michaud:** You have not been given the clearance to use it.

**Naismith:** And yet, that's what you've been leaning towards this whole time. I've got a right to at least know if I'm secretly ordering genocide or slavery for appeasement purposes, or something equally horrible.

**Henderson:** Just leave it, Babe...

**Naismith:** Even if we decide to use it, I am not implementing the Lucerne program unless someone tells me -- //right now// -- what it is.

//(Michaud turns toward Henderson.)//

//(Montauk turns toward Henderson.)//

//(Henderson sighs.)//

**Henderson:** Lucerne... involves using a different item -- also designated SCP-001 -- in conjunction with the PIPER System to erase the Seneschal from existence. 

**Naismith:** Oh... another 001?

**Henderson:** Yeah. 

**Naismith:** So... no genocide? No slavery? No doomsday devices?

**Michaud:** That's beyond your clearance level.

**Naismith:** But if I'm going to --

**Henderson:** //It involves none of those things.//

**Naismith:** ...

**Henderson:** I went above my clearance level and checked for you. ...Dr. Michaud, I take full responsibility.

**Naismith:** Maddie... you didn't have to do that.

**Michaud:** It's fine. I'll just.. issue amnestics when this is over.

**Krunkel:** If I may...

**Michaud:** Oh, thank God, a professional. I thought they went extinct.

**Naismith:** As acting admin for the PIPER system - the floor is yours, Scrungles.

**Krunkel:** Please stop calling me that.

//(Naismith snaps her fingers under the table. A small cloud of PIPER nanites covers Krunkel's nametag, slowly changing it to "Scrungles.")//

**Krunkel:** Let's say there were a way to use the nanites to create a dimensional interstice. Then we could use nuclear weapons at critical points in the Earth's upper atmosphere to spread PIPER seeds to speed up the global transmutation process, then direct the nanites to cover everything //but// SCP-20922-A --

**SCP-20922-A:** {{**And then we rename ourselves "Seneschal's Personal Handjob Brigade" and start linin' up with velvet gloves. Yeah, okay, lovin' this plan already -- cut, print, take five, we start production next Thursday.**}}

//[Everyone but SCP-20922-A backs away from the table. A translucent silhouette of SCP-20922-A sits at one end with his feet on the table.]//

{{**Okay, y'all need to chill. This is just an astral projection. Just think of it like a hologram with a really nice ass.**}}

**Nguyen:** How long have you been there?!

**SCP-20922-A:** {{**Uh... I forgot. My bad.**}} //(Chuckles)// {{**Anyway, since I'm here -- any you guys like Combichrist? I've been gettin' into them recently. They sound like what would happen if an inkjet printer had a ginormous cock, all like "pweep, pweep, zzzzzzz, pweep, pweep, bud-dud-dud-dud-dud-dud..."**}}

**Michaud:** What do you want?!

**SCP-20922-A:** {{**Right, right. Well, I figured since y'all were having a meeting about trying to kill me or something, figured you'd do well to know that there //is// a way to kill me.**}}

**Naismith:** As if he'd ever tell us.

**Michaud:** Be quiet, Penny.

**SCP-20922-A:** {{**Okay, okay, I get it -- you have no reason to trust me. It'd be kinda weird if you did. But I am //incapable// of lying. As evidence, I have not called any of you attractive.**}}

{{**Seriously, though, if you've got that much of a murder-boner for me, all you really need to do is get me to accept an unconditional gift. That's //literally// it. If I accept someone's generosity, that's a tacit acknowledgement on my end of your superiority, therefore, a total ideological subversion of the ideology that sustains my continued existence. TL;DR: I am fucking //terrified// of Santa Claus.**}}

**Henderson:** If this is true, why'd you come here to tell us your weakness?

**Montauk:** That's... that's how he works. It's like --

**SCP-20922-A:** {{[[size 125%]]**//NO ONE// ASKED //YOUR// ASS, ##red|RANDY!##**[[/size]]}}

**Montauk:** [[size 50%]]Sorry.[[/size]]

**SCP-20922-A:** {{[[size 50%]]It's okay. I still love you.[[/size]] **But yeah, basically, it's in my best interests to give you the answers you've been searching for.**}}

**Krunkel:** And why's that?

**SCP-20922-A:** {{**//Excellent// question, Scrungles.**}}

**Naismith:** (Sorry...)

**SCP-20922-A:** {{**Two reasons.**}}

{{**One: Now that you actually know how to defeat me, you'll never be able to - because every gift you're gonna give me will be conditional.**}}

{{**Two: Simple economics. Now that I've been uncharacteristically generous, it means that when I'm done with the conversion, you guys are gonna owe me //SO. MUCH. SHIT.//**}}

{{**And Three...**}}

{{**I didn't actually come here to tell you anything. I came to return this thing.**}}

//[Despite being incorporeal, he regurgitates SCP-8005 onto the table.]//

{{**Later, Goonies! Do //not// let me catch your asses sayin' "die."**}}

//[SCP-20922-A dematerializes.]//

//[SCP-8005's body has been heavily damaged, but its wires begin to reconstitute.]//

**SCP-8005:** Fortunately, he's not very good at knitting.

<End Log>

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[[=]]
+++ {{[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/local--files/fragment:dyfscp0014-1/piperact4.html You sit in the TOAD-1, awaiting your driver...]}}
[[/=]]

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