Observation Sector 41 - Post-Incident Surveillance Transcript

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<Begin Log>

//[In the center of the observation deck, Gregory Sniffings kneels by a pile of red feathers and various owl viscera, weeping quietly. Lucerne can be seen nearby, prone, and bound to the floor through a spatial anomaly at her feet.]//

//[Dr. Randall Moletauk power-walks up to Gregory. Dr. Flora Nguana follows close behind.]//

**VULTRAYANA.AIC:** Interior systems at 75% reinitialization.

**Moletauk:** Good! Now, see to it that only administrative personnel are allowed in this chamber until the Systems Admin gives the all-clear.

**VULTRAYANA.AIC:** Understood.

**Nguana:** Randall, you're still hurt. Get back here!

**Moletauk:** Nonsense, I'm hacking up less and less blood by the second. //[Indicating Lucerne.]// It's her you should worry about.

**Nguana:** I'm afraid the dead are beyond my medical skill.

**Lucerne:** [[size 75%]]...//what// skill...[[/size]] [[size 50%]]...jackass...[[/size]]

**Nguana:** Shit, never mind -- hold on!

//[Nguana quickly runs up to Lucerne for diagnostics, materializing a field triage nanite kit.]//

//[Moletauk investigates the remains of the Seneschal entity.]//

**Moletauk:** Stuff me and mount me, this is unheard of! You //actually// killed the Seneschal.

**Sniffings:** I didn't mean to!

**Moletauk:** And that's precisely why it worked. Would've been a damn good thing to have had //you// around fifty years ago, I'll say.

**Sniffings:** I just wanted to cheer him up! But I made him //explode// instead! The poor owl...

**Moletauk:** Mr. Sniffings, that "poor owl" was a deity of subjugation, dehumanization, and rape. I don't think --

//[Mr. Sniffings' weeping is no longer quiet.]//

**Sniffings:** //Are those the names of his kids?!//

**Moletauk:** I'm going to be explaining this to you for a while, aren't I?

//[Junior Researcher Scrungles enters with SCP-8005 in full experimental paladin equipment.]//

**Scrungles:** It's okay, guys, I found him. Hammie? That's Lucerne, right over ... all right, what did I miss?

//[Sniffings is broken out of his misery by the relatively bizarre appearance of Hammie.]//

[[=]]
[[image hammie.png]]
[[/=]]

**Sniffings:** What sort of animal is that?

**Scrungles:** Oh, Hammie's not an animal, he's a --

**SCP-8005:** [[size 75%]]Oh, but I //am.// See'st you not the putrescent //maggot// before you who has forgotten the honor of the hamburger?! A despicable beacon of blue, mouldering shame clinging to the rusted grates of the gutters of Hell! Unfit even to scratch the wrapper of room-temperature White Castle...[[/size]]

**Scrungles:** ...I, um, found him under a pile of hamburgers that Lucerne had summoned. Forced him into post-mission dormancy.

**Moletauk:** So that's why our internal defenses were compromised. Well, Hammie, it's not //your// fault that she was privy to your weakness.

**VULTRAYANA.AIC:** Report: same. (I could have done without seeing Veekat again, too.)

**Moletauk:** Anyway, Mr. Sniffings, if you'd be so kind as to hand me that "magic tablet..."

//[He does.]//

**Lucerne:** [[size 75%]]//Choke on it.//[[/size]]

**Moletauk:** There's a good man! I reckon this'll go straight downstairs. Object class: safe.

**Lucerne:** [[size 75%]]//Apollyon. It'll explode in two hours and get everyone's brains pregnant with infohazardous dragons.//[[/size]]

**Scrungles:** Oh, gimme a break!

**Nguana:** Try not to speak. You're in no condition to get too excited. 

//[Brilliant light forms on the floor near Mr. Sniffings.]//

**VULTRAYANA.AIC:** Switching the Central Console to autopilot mode. Incoming Systems Admin manifestation for Observation Sector 41...

**Scrungles:** And just when I'm wearing my ugliest tie...

**Sniffings:** What's happening?!

**Moletauk:** You're in luck, Gregory. The Systems Admin's taking time off from her console to meet you personally.

**Sniffings:** The sister of who?

**Moletauk:** Um, the "Goddess" wants to meet you.

**Sniffings:** Oh dear, oh //dear,// oh **//dear...!//** She's going to punish me for killing Mr. Senickal, isn't she?!

**SCP-8005:** Have courage, fellow sinner. We shall face atonement together.

**Moletauk:** For the love of -- she's not //that// kind of Goddess.

**Scrungles:** If you're on her good side.

**Moletauk:** Oh, stuff it!

//[The Systems Admin appears.]//

[[=]]
[[image penny.png]]
[[/=]]

//[Gregory Sniffings kneels.]//

**SCP-8005:** Mistress. I have transgressed against my sacred duty to --

**Systems Admin:** Chill. You're fine.

//[SCP-8005 collapses in the rapture of divine grace.]//

**Sniffings:** I don't believe it. The Goddess is another field mouse...

//[She giggles softly.]//

**Systems Admin:** Oh, stand up, Gregory. No matter what my worshippers say, I'm not a goddess, or a queen, or anything like that. None of us here "rule" you in any capacity. Hell, your father has more authority in your government than I do. 

**Sniffings:** Then what are you? 

**Systems Admin:** I'm an old fool who thinks everyone should get a free lunch.

**Sniffings:** ...are you saying people used to pay for that?

**Systems Admin:** I //KNOW//, RIGHT?!

//[She examines the remains of the Seneschal.]//

**Systems Admin:** Look who finally decided to come down from the Moon... Randy, is it really over?

**Moletauk:** The Scarlet King and his servants are a multiversal constant.

**Systems Admin:** But the Seneschal...?

**Moletauk:** He died before casting the dimensional emigration ritual. Like anyone else who dies in this world, his memories are gone and he's stuck here, reincarnating //ad infinitum// into the swaddleflowers. The Seneschal Cycle is over.

**Sniffings:** I never meant to kill anyone, I swear!

**Systems Admin:** Okay, Gregory? Look at me, and listen carefully.

//[He does.]//

This owl? [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/a-gospel-for-church-mice He was the red bird of prey from the ancient legends.] He tried to force everyone to... do nasty jobs for him without meal breaks or pay. He has done this to countless other worlds than our own, and if you //didn't// kill him, everyone you know would either be dead or enslaved, and so would everyone you've never met. You're a //hero,// Gregory.

**Sniffings:** A hero?

**Systems Admin:** Mm-hmm!

**Scrungles:** I'll say!

**Moletauk:** A bit of an understatement, considering the Seneschal's track record, but yes.

**Sniffings:** Then why do I feel like just a jerk who made someone custard that tasted so bad he exploded?

**Systems Admin:** Because you're humble to a fault. But, no one's perfect, and --

**Nguana:** Uh, Admin...!

**Systems Admin:** //Kinda// in the middle of something.

**Nguana:** I mean, if you're gonna do the Rite of Sealing, she's, uh...

**Systems Admin:** Shit, Maddie!

//She rushes up to Lucerne and Dr. Nguana.//

**Nguana:** I stopped the bleeding, but I think she was more connected to that USB drive than I anticipated. Maybe its magic kept an old internal wound closed...

**Systems Admin:** Well, bring the tablet back to her, and --

**Moletauk:** NO!

**Nguana:** Hell no!

**VULTRAYANA.AIC:** Alert: inadvisable!

**Scrungles:** Bad idea!

**SCP-8005:** Not a hamburger-acquisition vector!

**Sniffings:** If even I think it's a bad idea, that's saying something...

**Systems Admin:** Fair enough! How long's she got left?

**Nguana:** Hard to say.

**Systems Admin:** Okay, everyone -- give us some space. I gotta give Lucerne the Rite of Sealing.

//[The others shuffle away.]//

...

//[Lucerne hacks up blood, clearing her throat out just enough to speak normally one last time.]//

**Systems Admin:** ...Maddie.

**Lucerne:** Penny.

**Systems Admin:** If you're willing to listen, there's something I've been wanting to tell you for 50 years.

**Lucerne:** Just kill me and get it over with.

**Systems Admin:** What good would killing you do?!

**Lucerne:** So lemme get this straight. Your rubric for sparing the lives of mass murderers is "did I get to fuck them?"

**Systems Admin:** If I killed you, you'd //reincarnate//, dumbass! I didn't want to turn anyone into a talking animal in the first place -- that was an unintentional side effect from the ideological materials I used in Milne. You'd lose yourself all over again. 

**Lucerne:** So, exactly what you want.

**Systems Admin:** Wanted. Past tense.

**Lucerne:** And yet, you --

**Systems Admin:** I was //wrong//, Madeleine.

...

I saw you turn into a hare from surveillance. I saw how much suffering it caused you, how desperately you tried to cling onto your identity. And you were right -- it //was// violation, a theft of autonomy. And yeah, it sucked.

**Lucerne:** Then stop this. //Let it die.//

**Systems Admin:** ... Gregory.

**Sniffings:** Huh - wha - um, yes, right here, Madam Goddess!

**Systems Admin:** Would you like to die?

**Sniffings:** ...not really?

**Systems Admin:** See? They're //here//, Lucerne. They're alive, they //want// to live, and they have their own identities and memories. And so long as that's true, whether or not they //should// have come into existence in the first place is irrelevant.

**Lucerne:** Fuck that. They're here because you destroyed what it means to be human.

**Systems Admin:** And because I'm //not// about to make a mistake like that twice, they get to stay.

//[Lucerne struggles to keep her eyes open.]//

//[The Admin holds her forepaw up, causing a thick, purple book to materialize in her grasp.]//

**Systems Admin:** Hold still, Maddie.

**Lucerne:** [[size 80%]]What's that?[[/size]]

**Systems Admin:** A way we can both be happy.

**Lucerne:** [[size 80%]]And how would that be fair to everyone I've killed?[[/size]]

...

**Systems Admin:** ...Oh, //right,// of //course!//  //[Turns to the others.]// Okay, people, let's get this show on the road! I wanna see racks, I wanna see hot pokers, sulfuric acid IVs, molten lead, let's get some footage in 4K HD for the victims' families and loved ones, some 60fps poetic justice, and -- **//GET IN THE BOOK//, YOU FUCKING SIMPLETON!**

//[The Admin opens the book. The pages are blank. A vortex of wind pulls Lucerne in.]//

**Lucerne:** [[size 80%]]Why the hell do I still love you?[[/size]]

//[Lucerne's body and cloak suddenly liquefy as she's sucked into the pages. The Admin slams the book shut.]//

//[The title "LUCERNE" appears in gold lettering on the cover.]//

//[The Admin kisses the cover.]//

**Systems Admin:** Likewise.

//[She takes the book to Gregory.]//

Gregory Sniffings of Crinkleton. You have defeated Lucerne, and thus ended the scourge of the Beasting. In commemoration of your bravery, I hereby give you this.

//[She hands the book over.]//

Watch over her well. And when her story is finished, see to it that her tale is known throughout the world. 

Because the horrors of the old world are gone, but their stories deserve to be told. And with the Seneschal gone, this world no longer needs to live in ignorance. 

We will protect and provide for all creatures as before, but no longer will you live in fear of us as gods. Instead, you will know that you are loved unconditionally by your faithful, mortal groundskeepers in the Tower.

And you, Gregory? I will spread word of your heroism. Every creature on the Earth will raise a glass to Gregory Sniffings Triumphant.

[[=]]
[[image dananana.png]]
[[/=]]

...

**Sniffings:** [[size 75%]]...D'ohhhh, cookie crumbs, I'll be ever so flustered! Perhaps you should just say Mr. Horace-in-the-Hole did it or something, he'd have more fun with that kind of publicity by far...[[/size]]

**Systems Admin:** Tough shit.

<End Log>

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[[=]]
+++ {{[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/dyfscp0014/offset/6 ...Where am I?]}}
[[/=]]

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