Link to article: Experiment Log 914 - Part VII.
[/experiment-log-914/offset/5 <- Notice: Continued from 06XX.]]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 070X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 070X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0700** **Name:** Junior Researcher Stan **Date:** 28/04/2019 **Total Items:** One wooden Russian nesting doll **Input:** Nesting doll **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A small wooden figure resembling Researcher Darby. Labeling states it is a "Russian nesting Darby." The doll splits vertically into consecutively smaller Darbys. The final doll contained a small inanimate wooden honeybee. Notably, the Darbys were painted and modeled to look further injured as the layers were opened, progressing into a nearly unrecognizable corpse. //Note: I'm not sure if 914 is threatening me or Darby, but either way it's terrifying. - Stan// ------ **Test 914-0701** **Name:** Dr. Cleveland **Date:** 28/04/2019 **Total Items:** One copy of the Green Day single "21 Guns", two copies of a photo of Dr. Nukea dated 27/03/2019, one AK-47 **Input:** AK-47 **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Two LAR Grizzly Win Mag MkV pistols. Testing showed that all bullets fired from these pistols attain speeds of 3████ m/s. //Note: Grizzly, again? You've got to be kidding me. - Dr. Cleveland// **Input:** "21 Guns" single, photo of Dr. Nukea **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A single called "17 Guns", ostensibly by a band named "Suns of O'Donnel". The lead singer's voice has been confirmed to be that of Dr. Nukea, while two of the backing vocalists have been identified as Prof. Wren and Researcher Darby. //Note: I've heard the music, and I'm literally weeping right now! - Dr. Cleveland// //Note: Good God but that man could sing! If we could isolate Nukea's vocals from this and Darby's up for it, I would love to perform this at the funeral. -Prof. Wren// //Note: Normally I don't sing in front of people, but I can make an exception for Nukea. - Researcher Darby// **Input:** Photo of Dr. Nukea **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** An animate photo with a note written at the back stating an expiration date of 05/05/2019. The photo contains a short message from the Grizzly entity (dressed in a black gown) to Dr. Nukea, stating that despite having never interacted with him beyond hello/goodbye, she believes that Dr. Nukea has "always been a kind person", and that he will "forever be missed". This message repeats itself once every three hours. When asked, the entity stated that she does not know of the photo, but that her feelings are similar to that implicated by it. She also made a request to attend Dr. Nukea's funeral. //Note: I would like to propose renaming the break room in honor of Dr. Alexander Nukea. He deserved much more than he had. Everyone involved in 914 will remember him for his contributions. And I mean everyone, not just us researchers. - Dr. Cleveland// //Note: Why is everyone making such a big deal over Nukea dying? We work at the foundation. Our saftey records are hardly infalliable; researchers dying here isn't exactly a rare occurance. - Dr. Trandfir// //Note: How long did the others work on 914? How long did Nukea work here? Ask yourself, Trandfir, before you make such a heartless comment. - Dr. Cleveland// //Note: The fact that our work is dangerous doesn't mean we have to be heartless about it. If anything it's all the more reason __not__ to be. -Prof. Wren// //Note: Sympathy isn't my strong suit. -Dr. Trandfir// //Note: I never really met the man besides passing in the break room, but, he was a good man *Blows Nose* - Researcher Darby// //Note: I'm pretty sure all he did was sit in his office and watch 17 again on loop. -Dr. Trandfir// ----- **Test 914-0702** **Name:** Researcher Jane Cho **Date:** 29/04/2019 **Total Items:** One 800-piece puzzle depicting a flower, with 60 pieces missing //Note: The 60 pieces were stuffed inside Jeff the mug cat. Last time someone did an experiment with amnestics, Jeff appeared to have knowledge of SCP-914's experiment history. This is to test the hypothesis that they are somehow linked. - Jane Cho// **Input:** Puzzle **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A 800-piece puzzle depicting Intern Lunar placing a porcelain mug in the input booth with the former 'additional panels' set to "Animal". A different set of 60 pieces are missing. //Note: 914 appears to be able to see and depict past events. I am keeping this personally for additional testing, and verification of the picture's accuracy. - Jane Cho Edit: This makes no sense. I wrapped duct tape around Jeff and locked him in a box to stop the pieces from falling out, but somehow the pieces ended up on my desk in an extremely damaged state. They're still part of the flower, by the way. - Jane Cho// //Note: If any one sees Jane Cho with Jeff, stop her and tell me. I have told her about this and asked nicely for her to stop, yet she hasn't. I think Jeff is very angry right now as he dumped hot tea on my shoes again. Can someone watch my room or something so this doesn't happen again? thanks -Intern Lunar// ----- **Test 914-0703** **Name:** Prof. Wren, D-914-613 **Date:** 29/04/2019 **Total Items:** One synthesizer keyboard **Input:** The synthesizer. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A synthesizer with 12 white keys and 7 black keys on it. D-class instructed to test the instrument out. The keys produced the following notes from left to right (number denotes octave, with 0 being the lowest the human ear can detect): E-flat 0, A-sharp 1, F 3, etc. Each key also had a progressive volume increase of 19 decibels and was accompanied by a 361hz square wave; D-class was given earplugs before pressing the 4th key, and sound dampening equipment was moved into the room before testing continued. D-class complained of an earache after pressing the 8th key, then began bleeding profusely from multiple facial orifices. D-class terminated, testing ceased. Upon being switched off, the synthesizer folded itself into a cube, 19cm in diameter on each side. //Note: 19 keys. A lowest note that plays at 19 hertz. Accounting for sharps and flats, each progressive key went up 19 notes from the previous. The volume went up 19 decibels with each key, and was accompanied by a square wave whose frequency was 19 squared. Its dimensions after powering down. At this point I'm not sure if I should be scared, or convinced that 914 is just [EXPLETIVE] with me. -Prof. Wren// ------ **Test 914-0704** **Name:** Dr. Matism **Date:** 29/04/2019 **Total Items:** 5 ███████ brand chocolate bunnies, 1 pocket watch //Note: Wow, everyone's bringing this back - Dr. Matism// **Input:** Above mentioned items **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** An animate contraption resembling a very distorted rabbit. It approached Dr. Matism, Vocalizing, "Kill Me". Security guards terminated the subject, which exploded into various pieces of chocolate and clockwork //Note: I'm not gonna lie, that was disturbing. But that chocolate was some of the best I've ever had - Dr. Matism// ------ **Test 914-0705** **Name:** Dr. Matism **Date:** 29/04/2019 **Items:** One copy of 17 Again **Input:** One copy of 17 Again **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One DVD with a montage of funny and notable moments from Dr. Nukea's lifetime. //Note: I've had a member of Eta-10 scan for memetic hazards, and we're all good. Can I show this at Nukea's funeral? - Dr. Matism// ----- **Test 914-0706** **Name:** Dr Clocks **Date:** 29/04/2019 **Items:** One note reading '19' //Note: Due to SCP-914 taking on a new approach, that being including '19' everywhere, I've decided to write a new test log on it. -Dr Clocks// **Input:** One note **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One note emblazoned with a single yellow star. The note appears to be emitting the song '19' by Paul Hardcastle, which seems induce PTSD upon those in its hearing range, with stronger cases held by those who have already fought in wars or other battles beforehand. //Note: This sadly does not prove anything on why SCP-914 has chosen this number, instead opting to cause more havoc, typical. -Dr Clocks// ----- **Test 914-0707** **Name:** Researcher Jane Cho **Date:** 29/04/2019 **Total Items:** 60 heavily damaged puzzle pieces depicting part of a flower //Note: Let's see if 914 can turn them into the missing pieces of the new puzzle. - Jane Cho// **Input:** Puzzle pieces **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A small paper nameplate with the words "Junior Researcher Lunar" printed on it. --Foundation personnel viewing said nameplate will be compelled to believe that Intern Lunar has been promoted to Junior Researcher on 29/04/2019.-- //Note: Apparently not. Also, 914 seems to reference Lunar a lot lately. - Jane Cho// //Note: The memetic property of the item appears to have been absent immediately after the test. The security personnel who were present in the containment chamber during the test have not been exposed to the effect, despite security footage clearly showing them having visual contact with the item. Upon further inspection, this property has been proven to be the effect of a memetic pattern that was overlaid on the printed surface some time after the test. Exactly when or how this happened is unknown and is a subject of further investigation. Personnel are to be reminded that Lunar has never been officially hired by the Foundation. - Security Chief Ozark// //Note: I blame Jeff for that, He has been behaving odd lately. If all goes well I will try to apply to be a Junior Researcher but for now I'm more than happy to be a intern -Intern Lunar// [!-- Sorry for doing stuff to Jeff, by the way. --] [!--It's fine, just realize that gave me the reason I need to have Lunar to try to make a turret--] ------ **Test 914-0708** **Name:** Researcher Darby **Date:** 29/04/2019 **Total Items:** One memorial letter for Researcher Nukea **Input:** Above mentioned **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One letter addressed to Researcher Nukea. Address on said letter is "Apartment 17, 4539 Beezlebub Drive, Lower Hellpit, Hell" and the post mark on letter contains a minor cognitohazard that causes those who view it to attempt to deliver said letter. //Note: I opened the letter, or rather had a D-Class open the letter, and i'm going to read out its contents "Dear Nukea, due to a rather unfortunate series of events your application to 17 Again has been denied. Your constant use of black magic has made it impossible for you to pass your toxicity screening and be accepted through Immigration. If you still wish to Immigrate to 17 Again you must wait a period of 666 years and fill out forms 17-A-Bez-45, 17-B-Luc-69, and accompanying forms. The Government of 17 Again thanks you for your time and hopes to see you in the future". On another note, No one has died yet so maybe my curse has been broken? Well, Im going to be drowning my sorrows in the Break Room with a Pint of something British and Strong, anyone care to join me? - Researcher Darby// [!-- Veritas, I know that I'm talking about hell here, it's meant to be a joke --] //Note: The D-Class sent to open the letter has contracted a extremely virulent and contagious form of the Black Death and is expected to die within the next few hours. Researcher Darby and others who have been in contact have been put into quarantine and some other D-Class have contracted this plague. Dr. Veritas and Site Director Hackett have been notified about this epidemic and proper procedures are being initiated. - Medical Director of Site 19// //Note: At this time, it is impossible to determine if the letter is genuine or that SCP-914 fabricated the result. Leave that to the philosophers. And of course, when you think he can't surprise you, Darby almost infects the Site with the Bubonic Plague. - Veritas// //Note: Fortunately, we have a near-literal unlimited supply of antibiotics - Dr. Matism// //Note: Maybe we should stop putting 17 again into this thing -Dr. Mensa// ----- **Test 914-0709** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 29/04/2019 **Items:** 1 front passenger side door from a 2001 Ford Explorer. //Note: We've had 13 instances of the number 19 crop up in my experiments the past few days; I can't tell if Dr. Clocks' instance was part of whatever's causing this or the result of inputting something with a 19 on it, so for the purposes of my own notes I'm leaving it out. 914's interactions have shown to vary from researcher to researcher anyway, so I'm fairly sure this is somehow aimed at me. Either way, let's see if 914 can keep that crap up with something completely random. As for how I got this? Nothing major, cost me $80 at a junkyard. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** The door. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A metal case made out of the metal of the door, held shut by the door lock and handle. Inside was a katana 1.329m in length. Analysis of the blade shows it was somehow folded 19 times, leaving it highly durable but with no usable edge. The handle is wrapped in leather made from the inner door handle. //Note: 1.329 meters comes out to 52.31 inches, or, to get exact, 4.35889894 feet...which, you guessed it, is the square root of 19. Additionally, I measured the case it came in, and wouldn't you know it, it's 361 cubic inches in size...19 squared. That brings my own count of "19" instances up to 16. I'm beginning to get rather excited about what will happen when it gets up to the 19th... I also just noticed the blade has some markings on it that resemble a music line with notes on it. Between that and the "folding metal" construction, that also throws in the recurring themes of music and origami. Interesting. In any case, given that it's not sharp enough to cut warm butter, requesting permission to keep it for decorative purposes. -Prof. Wren// ------ [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 071X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 071X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0710** **Name:** Dr. Matism **Date:** 29/04/2019 **Items:** 1 kg of ground beef //Note: Testing cleared - 05-█// **Input:** 1 kg of ground beef **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A model of an empty foothill, the words //__Ground__ Beef// are seared into the meat. //Note: Oh, ground as in the floor, ground beef. This was utterly pointless - Dr. Matism// ------ **Test 914-0711** **Name:** Dr. Peters **Date:** 29/04/2019 **Items:** 6 portions of 30 grams of table salt //Note: Due to the inherent unpredictability regarding SCP-914, I have abandoned my original line of inquiry. Having said that, I have no intentions to cease experimentation with SCP-914. Instead, I am going back to simple with table salt. I am skipping rough and coarse to avoid the possibility of chlorine gas.// **Input:** 1 portion of salt as above **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 30 grams rock salt //Note: Keeping it simple doesnt provide for much variation as expected. Now a repeat for confirmation. -Dr Peters// **Input:** 1 portion of salt as above **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 30 grams pickling salt //Note: SCP-914 only changed the size of the crystals for these two tests, I would expect some crystaline structure changes on the fine setting. -Dr Peters// **Input:** 1 portion of salt as above **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 1 Cube of salt **Input:** 1 portion of salt as above **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 1 tetrahedron of salt, microscopic analysis shows the crystal structure has been forced from cubic to tetrahedral. Specimen has been sent to the geology department for further analysis. //Note: Just when I feel I'm starting to find a trend it unravels, how did it create a stable change in the crystal structure? I will have to await the geology department's report. -Dr Peters// **Input:** 1 portion of salt as above **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** 1 salt viking weilding an axe that, when the output opened, leapt out and began swinging at the face of the D-class charged with collecting the specimens. Specimen was destroyed when Dr. Peters dumped a full mug of coffee over it. //Note: Good thing salt dissolves in water. I'm going to need more coffee if 914 keeps giving me puns though. -Dr. Peters// ------ **Test 914-0712** **Name:** Junior Researcher Stan **Date:** 29/04/2019 **Total Items:** One note reading "I love you 3000." **Input:** Above **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A cognitohazardous picture of [[[SCP-3000]]] that bore similar, albeit considerably weakened effects to the actual SCP. There was a doodle of a "heart" next to SCP-3000. It took two hours and 10 agents, but the image was eventually burned. //Note: I woke up in the amnestics bay with a bunch of agents. I don't remember what happened, and I had to piece this together using what was left of security footage. I don't have a wife and daughter, but my memory says otherwise. Requesting a short leave while I try to figure out what memories are mine and what aren't.// - --Evan-- Stan ------ **Test 914-0713** **Name:** Dr. Beiderman **Date:** 29/04/2019 **Total Items:** One photograph of Dr. Beiderman. **Input:** Above **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One crumpled photograph of Researcher Darby. Exited booth at speeds upward of 120 M.P.H. and passed straight through Dr. Beiderman, who was pronounced dead when medical personnel arrived. Of note, Dr. Beiderman did not appear to have human organs when dissection began. Investigation into the fate of the "real" Dr. Beiderman, if there ever was one, is ongoing. //Note: Right under my nose... I quit. - Security Chief Ozark// //Note: Really? If so do you want a goodbye present? -Intern Lunar// //Note: Lunar, I am afraid he is already gone. Walked into the medbay muttering something about "body-snatchers" and popped the little white pill before I could stop him. - Medical Officer Lawrence// //Note: Oh, goodness. We've lost two relatively high-profile researchers in three days, and then Ozark as well... - Dr. Cleveland// ----- **Test 914-0714** **Name:** Dr. Cleveland, D-5808 **Date:** 29/04/2019 **Total Items:** A sketch of SCP-085 in the Austrian Alps (i.e. not SCP-085 itself); a photo of Dr. Cleveland; a photo of Junior Researcher Rasclon; a copy of the Owl City EP //Of June// **Input:** Sketch **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A monochrome photo of a woman skiing near Graz, Austria, dated 08/08/2008. The appearance of the woman matches that of Cassy as depicted by SCP-978. //Note: Someone is going to have to look up surveillance footage dated August 8, 2008... - Dr. Cleveland// **Input:** Photo of Dr. Cleveland **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A photo of Dr. Cleveland travelling in Riga, Latvia, prior to joining the Foundation. The photo was dated 19/04/2013, with "19" being in boldface. The photo has a memetic property which causes people to remember what they were doing exactly four years before joining the Foundation, and what they were doing exactly nineteen years ago, as vividly as possible. //Note: That would be the eighteenth time "19" shows up. I have to wonder... - Dr. Cleveland// //Note: Why do I remember a firing squad aiming at me? I feel that I would remember that normally - Researcher Darby// **Input:** Photo of JR Rasclon **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A cognitohazardous photo depicting three JR Rasclons mauling one another. When viewed, the viewer splits into three entities. The effect lasts for nine hours before two of them vanish. //Note: That's why we need to use D-class. I am not going to risk splitting myself into three. - Dr. Cleveland// //Note: Having seen the results of other recurring themes, I really hope this doesn't become one. 9 being 3^2, it seems similar to Prof. Wren's recurring "19", which so far seems fairly benign. That said, I'll be refraining from winding the mainspring for a few days. -JR. Rasclon// **Input:** //Of June// **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A CD, containing a recording dated 06/06/2026. The recording details (purportedly the President of the United States) Elizabeth Warren's reaction to a series of nuclear strikes. From the recording, the targets were as follows: Cranbrook, British Columbia, Canada: On target causing widespread destruction. No other information is known. Missoula, Montana: Off target, destroying [[[scp-3300 | Clear Water, Montana]]] but heavily irradiating Missoula in the process. SCP-3300 presumed neutralized as a side effect. Butte, Montana: On target, Silver Bow County obliterated. Pocatello, Idaho: Off target, hitting Fort Hall, Idaho but failed to explode due to a preemptive EMP attack encompassing all communities from Pocatello to Idaho Falls. Evanston, Wyoming: On target, Uinta County in complete anarchy. Grand Junction, Colorado: Shot down. Four people are killed by debris. Durango, Colorado: On target but failed to explode. Eight people are killed in the impact. Moab, Utah: Shot down. No casualties were reported. Farmington, New Mexico: Off target, striking a Foundation facility near Beclabito, New Mexico causing [DATA EXPUNGED] in the Navajo Nation. Research into the recording is underway. //Note: Regardless whether Clear Water is anomalous or not, nobody would want a nuke to go off in their territory, much less a series of them. Or a very bad pun of June. - Dr. Cleveland// ----- **Test 914-0715** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 30/04/2019 **Total Items:** 1 5-gallon bucket of paint. //Note: Counting Doctors Clocks' and Cleveland's experiments, we are now at 18 instances of "19" in recent tests. I suspect something will happen here involving a final instance, as I felt inexplicably compelled to use a bucket of paint for this experiment. Dr. Veritas, I've left a file in your office containing an updated version of my last will and testament. If nothing comes of this, I ask that you destroy it. If, on the other hand, this goes as I feel it will...well, it's been fun, everyone. -Prof. Wren// //Note: Prof. Wren forewent usage of D-class personnel for this experiment, stating that she was "ready for whatever 914 throws her way."// **Input:** The bucket. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A plastic urn, Grecian style, filled with white paint. Upon the output booth opening, the urn fell over, causing a series of small paint-creatures began crawling out of it en masse; the object and its behavior proved consistent with that of SCP-019. The creatures proved immensely hostile, attacking Prof. Wren on site. Hostilities were thwarted by security personnel 2 minutes later when the object and the creatures were destroyed via a full-power blast from the "H2O-9000" water gun created in a previous experiment. No further anomalous properties noted in the paint or the remains of the urn. Security personnel treated for minor injuries caused by recoil from the water gun. //Note: That...was unpleasant, to say the least, but I think you can scrap that file I left for you, boss. Whatever connection this might have to SCP-019 definitely merits examination, though...regardless, I got one last thing to do here before we get to cleaning all this paint up. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** The urn's remains. **Setting:** Rough **Output:** A pile of plastic dust. //Note: Okay, I'm good now. Hopefully this puts an end to all this "19" BS. Good __Lord__ I'm gonna need a shower and a change of clothes, though. Those little bastards got paint in places I didn't even know I __had__. - Prof. Wren// //Note: Scrap what I said about this 19 thing seeming benign before, 914 doesn't seem to know the meaning of the word. Glad you're alright, especially in light of 914's apparently higher than usual lethality as of late. -JR. Rasclon// //Note: Just to remind you, Nukea's funeral begins in an hour or two. If you're coming, you need to change fast. On the other hand, I'd hate to see another of us pass away. Looks like luck is on your side, Wren. - Dr. Cleveland// //Note: Indeed. Thanks for the reminder, just got finished. On my way; bringing the amp-Stratocaster and a recording of Dr. Nukea's vocals from that song so that Darby and I can work with him one last time. -Prof. Wren// //Note: Why is it that 914 researchers all seem to be suicidal? - Dr. Trandfir// ---- **Test 914-0716** **Name:** Dr. Hort, D-914-714 **Date:** 30/04/2019 **Total items:** 50 grams of boron, 50 grams of silicon, 50 grams of germanium, 50 grams of arsenic, 50 grams of antimony, 50 grams of tellurium. //Note: I just got assigned to 914. You guessed it, I’m a chemist. -Dr. Hort// **Input:** All of above **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A cube of 300 grams of a black material, which expelled a black toxic gas. Further research revealed that the material was a compound of all the previous elements. //Note: How is that even possible? -Dr. Hort// //Note: You are very new here. - Veritas// **Input:** Results from the last test **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A large specimen of corvus corax (common crow), apparently composed of the previous material. When the D-class tried to retrieve it, the bird transformed into gas, escaping from D-914-714’s hands, and proceeded to float to Dr. Hort’s arm and become solid again. //Note: I think it likes me. I’ll name it Reepicheep. -Dr. Hort// ----------- **Test 914-0717** **Name:** Dr. Peters **Date:** 30/04/2019 **Items:** Chainmail hauberk //Note: I was going to send 17 Again through 914 in memory of Nukea, but I can't seem to find a copy of it anywhere. I found this chainmail in one of my drawers so I'm using it instead. It's the thought that counts, right? -Dr Peters// **Input:** 1 chainmail hauberk **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** 17 steel envelopes each containing an embossed letter written in the style of "send this to so many people or..." chain letters. Notably, each number has been replaced with 17. Each letter has the memetic property where the reader believes the contents and tries to "forward" the letters to others. 1 D-class and 3 guards were affected before anmestics were administered and the letters moved to specimen storage. Exerpts follow: Nukeamail is running out of usernames and inactive users will be removed. Forward this to 17 people to keep... There are 17 weekends this month. This only happens every 289 years. Forward this to 17 friends for... FWD:FWD:FWD:NUKEA:FWD:FWD KEEP READING OR YOU WILL DIE!!@! ... 17 people.... Bloody Mary will... //Note: It seems the thought really did count this time. -Dr Peters// //Note: It really does. -Intern Lunar// ----- **Test 914-0718** **Name:** Researcher Jane Cho **Date:** 30/04/2019 **Total Items:** 300 grams of aquamarine beryl **Input:** 100 grams of aquamarine **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A small cup made of aquamarine containing aquamarine powder **Input:** 100 grams of aquamarine **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A disc made of aquamarine that will induce hallucinations in whoever comes in contact with it, causing them to percieve everything as being 'made of aquamarine'. Actual vision is unaffected, and opaque objects will not become transparent under the effect. //Note: I'm never touching that again. - Jane Cho// **Input:** 100 grams of aquamarine **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A perfectly formed hexagonal aquamarine rod. When one end of the rod is pressed with a human finger, a high-energy beam of infrared light will be emitted from the other end, which almost ignited the opposing wall. //Note: That was... unexpected. At least nobody got hurt. - Jane Cho// //Note: Good thing Darby wasn't in charge of this test -Dr. Mensa// ----- **Test 914-0719** **Name:** Dr. Hort **Date:** 30/04/2019 **Total items:** 3 glasses, 90 ml of human tears. **Input:** One glass, 30 ml of human tears. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** Pieces of glass, a small block of sodium and a mixture of hydrogen, chloride and oxygen gas. //Note: testing was paused for 5 minutes due to the risk of breathing chloride gas.// **Input:** One glass, 30 ml of human tears. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** The liquid was unchanged, but the glass had the words “sea water” engraved on it’s surface. **Input:** One glass, 30 ml of human tears. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One glass, 30 ml of blood. Apparently, the cells that the tears contained were changed genetically to act like blood cells. //Note: So... It’s blood without a blood type? - Dr. Hort// //Note: Not exactly, the blood type is already imprinted on the DNA. What likely happened was 914 converted the cells to stem cells and then into blood cells.// //Note: So I spent some time in the lab looking at a sample of this "blood" and my analyzers aren't seeing any RBCs, WBCs, or platelets, so it cant be blood. I believe 914 rearranged the lactoferrin naturally present in tears and combined them with skin cell fragments to create pseudo-RBCs leading to the red color. Or something entirely different since 914 doesn't make sense. -Dr. Peters// ------ [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 072X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 072X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0720** **Name:** Researcher Darby **Date:** 30/04/2019 **Total Items:** Multiple copies of "101 Ways to Boil Eggs" and "Thai Food Recipes" //Note: Surely this cant end up with me hospitalized? Right? - Researcher Darby// **Input:** 101 Ways to Boil Eggs **Setting:** Rough **Output:** Ripped pile of paper. //Note: Okay, still safe, no explosions yet - Researcher Darby// **Input:** "Thai Food Recipes" **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** Pile of paper and a puddle of ink. //Note: Again, nothing new or unexpected, also I'm going to put both books in to see what happens. - Researcher Darby// **Input:** "101 Ways to Boil Eggs" and "Thai Food Recipes" **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** "101 Ways to find a Curse" and "Curse breaking for Dummies". //Note: Curses? What? Where did curses come into the equation? - Researcher Darby// **Input:** "101 Ways to Boil Eggs" and "Thai Food Recipes" **Setting:** Fine **Output:** "101 Ways to boil a chicken man" and "[[[SCP-3199]]], A detailed explanation" //Note: Bloody hell, That Chicken man is going to give me nightmares. Hopefully the amnestics I will have to take after reading the SCP-3199 book will nullify my reading of the chicken book. - Researcher Darby// **Input:** "101 Ways to Boil Eggs" and "Thai Food Recipes" **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A "Cookbook", recipes included are "Researcher Alfredo, Wren Waffles, Calloway Chops, Vodka Veritas Cocktail, Stan Steak, Lunar Cheese, Darby Dumplings, Jeff Cake, Hort-Burgers, Beiderman Brautwurst, ect." At the back of the book is a list of Discontinued Recipes such as "Anton and Anchovies, Nukea Nuclear Cocktail, and Wasabi covered Westrin". On the front and back cover is a memetic symbol that causes viewers to attempt to create the recipes included. Due to a possible similarity to [REDACTED] "Cookbook" was sent to incinerators to be destroyed but vanished mid-transit along with D-35456 who is presumed to be at large. //Note: It really gives you some perspective when you try to cook yourself. Thankfully, Medical Officer Lawrence stopped me from chopping anything important off. - Researcher Darby// //Note: I found the thing in the trash bin outside of [REDACTED]'s containment chamber, and seriously 914? Matism Miso? The recipe had the broth made from my vitrious humor. I don't even have enough of that to fill a water glass! - Dr. Matism// //Note: Not sure if I should be offended or happy I'm not included in those recipes. -Dr. Peters// //Note: Oh you're in here alright, you're Peters Pineapple Upside Down Cake. Fortunately, it actually contains pineapple, and isn't made from your spleen - Dr. Matism// //Note: Annnnd we have a death, one of the recipes is "D-Class disaster", when D-35456 found that recipe he managed to obtain a gun and blow his brains out onto a plate. -Researcher Festiv// //Note: a "Mensa Martini" made out of my own plasma? I think Researcher Darby should take a break from SCP-914 -Dr. Mensa// //Note: "Cleveland Chowder", made from my fingers. And then we have "Grizzly Grill", "Boston Borscht", "Thawed Thompson" etc. near the back. Is 914 planning to torture or murder everyone? Also, it's just plain luck that we only lost one D-class to it. - Dr. Cleveland// //Note: Mine is a tier cake with three tiers, each requiring a heart that is "a genetic match" of mine. Looks like this **is** going to be a recurring theme. I'll start being a lot more cautious with my tests. -JR. Rasclon// //Note: The Vodka Veritas Cocktail sounds lovely, we just need to replace my blood with a substitute. I get that 914 might have a jab at my average blood/alcohol concentration, but as with most things, I won't give it the satisfaction of getting upset about it. - Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0721** **Name:** N.C.E. **Date:** 30/04/2019 **Total items:** One Sample of the tissue present in the Doctor Beiderman entity. //Note: Testing proved the entity was made out of colored wax, and animated through anomalous means. - Medical Officer Lawrence// **Input:** Tissue sample **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One wax sausage. //Note: Huh, Beiderman Brautwurst. 914's showing a correlation between this and a previous experiment - Dr. Matism// ----- **Test 914-0722** **Name:** Dr. Mensa **Date:** 30/04/2019 **Total Items:** A Mucus Sample of Dr. Mensa in a large glass petri dish suspended in alcohol //Note: My first experiment here. Let's hope it's good! -Dr. Mensa// **Input:** Mucus Sample **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A martini glass full of a clear liquid. When given to a D-class personnel the subject immediately collapsed and was pronounced dead, however on the way to the morgue the subject regained conciseness and started impersonating Dr. Mensa. Subject was later terminated after an interview. Analysis of the drink reveals it is composed of one half Dr. Mensa's DNA and one half a substance with an impossibly high alcohol content that would immediately cause alcohol poisoning. //Note: I was hoping to clone myself but I think this is the Mensa Martini from the cookbook Darby made. I wonder what the other recipes do? -Dr. Mensa// ----- **Test 914-0723** **Name:** Jr. Researcher Sionur, D-1904, D-0431 **Date:** 30/04/2019 **Total Items:** 5 stainless steel rods (0.5 cm diameter, 30 cm of length). //Note: Just been assigned here, apparently multiple spots opened up. I'm gonna start with something simple, hopefully my first experiment won't result in any kind of frightening thunderbolts or lightning. -Sionur// //Note: The only reason spots open up is because we're all suicidal maniacs, with the exception of Wren - Dr. Matism// **Input:** One of the above **Setting:** Rough **Output:** Multiple small fragments, at a temperature of -123°C. From the way the fragments are broken it appears the rod has been chilled, reheated, then put under high pressure on both ends. //Note: Good thing I felt that the air was cold before I touched them, would have left some skin otherwise. I'll send D-Class next time to limit risks. -Sionur// **Input:** One of the above **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** 4 rods of variable sizes , analysis identified them to be made of Nickel, Iron, Chromium and Carbon. Each rod kept the same proportions as the original. **Input:** One of the above **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 1 steel mug on which is engraved the face of Freddy Mercury. Mug is smaller than average, likely due to material restrictions. //Note: Wait, does this thing read what I write on my report? Also can I please keep the mug? The engraving is surprisingly detailed. -Sionur// //Note: You're new, so I'll explain this once: You can keep the results if they seem harmless, but remember that if that thing causes a containment breach, causes casualties or makes your favorite toe explode, it's your responsibility, not mine. - Veritas// **Input:** One of the above **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A shrapnel explosion, noise reportedly similar to a thunderstrike, D-1904 suffered broken bones and bleeding, both internal and external and was sent to medical emerency. //Note: Dodged a bullet here, I dread what comes next. -Sionur// **Input:** One of the above **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** The rod, apparently unchanged, when put in contact with anything, the rod will halt all electric circulation . When D-0431 picked it up, she promptly collapsed and died, due to necessary muscles not being activated and to the complete cessation of brain activity. Rod was successfully recovered with the use of gloves, as it seems to only apply to what directly touches it. Now placed in anomalous containment. //Note: Huh, I guess 914 took my request of not having thunderbolt or lightning quite literally... Could be handy as an emergency power breaker... -Sionur// ----- **Test 914-0724** **Name:** Junior Researcher Roa **Date:** 30/04/2019 **Total Items:** Four standard Bic brand mechanical pencils //Note: I'm excited to perform my first solo test. Researcher Lombardi suggested I start with mechanical pencils as they have a variety of materials to refine and clear functions to improve. - Roa// //Note: Apologies in advance for the deception - I'm actually testing a hypothesis that 914 reacts not only to the operator's state of mind, but that of any individuals nearby. I need the operator to be unaware so as to avoid subconscious influence. I have interns Humber and Lewis with me - we'll all be thinking vividly about fire during these tests. Extinguishers are nearby in case we are too successful. - Lombardi// **Input:** One mechanical pencil **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One 'Pilot' brand mechanical pencil. The pencil's body is colored red. //Note: Bic to Pilot? I'd expect that on 'Fine'. - Roa// **Input:** One mechanical pencil **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One unbranded mechanical pencil with a transparent body. The spring is located at the tip of the pencil rather than near the eraser. Pushing in the eraser activates the pencil, causing the spring to visibly heat up. This reaction melts the loaded graphite rod, allowing it to flow and mark surfaces similar to ink. How the spring manages to heat, or how the graphite is able to melt in standard pressures is still unknown. **Input:** One mechanical pencil **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One candle-shaped object. The body is made of plastic, while the wick is a composite of rubber, graphite, and metal. When lit, the candle quickly melted and spilled over the table. On examination, the melted remains had formed into what Junior Researcher Roa was thinking of writing next - this output log. //Note: I seem to be getting a pattern of heat or fire-based results. I've heard of 914 having 'themed' reactions with certain researchers. Why is it giving me fire? I don't want to be the fire guy. I will attempt to derail this by concentrating on ice. - Roa// **Input:** One mechanical pencil **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One intricately crafted pencil, inlaid with fine patterns of rubber and metal. The word 'Freezer Burn' is imprinted along the side. Graphite automatically extends from the tip to maintain a constant length of 2mm. Markings made with this pencil spontaneously erupt into grayish flames after approximately 15 seconds. These flames cause a super-cooling reaction with any materials they touch, but do not appear to spread beyond the initial contact point. The markings shrink as the flames burn until both disappear. //Note: The D-Class operating the pencil had to be treated for topical frost-bite. - Roa// //Note: The disturbing implication here is that this could be linked to the recent rise of Staff accidents and deaths. It would only take a single bad actor daydreaming just a little too hard about a coworker they dislike. - Lombardi// //Note: Don't tempt me, Lombardi. - Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0725** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 30/04/2019 **Total Items:** 1 ream of A4 paper, 1 inkwell //Note: No word on what compelled me to bring a bucket of paint in last time. Regardless, toning it back down a bit for this one; while we hit a 19th instance of "19" in total, 914's shown its interactions to be a bit more personal to whoever's using it. Calloway gets trolled, Darby gets damn near killed, and I get some inexplicable music/origami/19 mix, so for all I know I may have at least 2 more coming. Guess we'll see. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** 3 sheets of paper, 5 ounces of ink. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A monochrome, photo-quality image of an adolescent girl at a party. //Note: I remember this. This was the party my family threw for my 19th birthday. Guess that makes number 18 for my own list. Hoo boy... -Prof. Wren// **Input:** 19 sheets of paper, 19 ounces of ink. **Setting:** Very Fine //Note: You know what, may as well go for broke on this one. Suggest everyone clear out in case it decides to make a copy of another SCP again. Won't deny I'm nervous as hell, but whatever's going on with this "19" crap will, hopefully, come to an end. -Prof. Wren// **Output:** A single 915.37cm x 1294.59cm sheet of paper, folded into a self-interlocking shape that took Prof. Wren 22 minutes to fully unfold. Upon being fully opened, the inside was revealed to contain only a note, reading as follows: "Paranoia test concluded." //Note: What. -Prof. Wren// //Note: That makes two times this 19 trend has concluded, which leans towards the idea that these trends we're seeing are based on our perception of what 914 is doing. This could to a feedback loop where it produces results related to that and fuels the idea, which is why seemingly significant events happened in both conclusions. In that case, it seems like these could end up being quite dangerous, especially if the increased lethality we're seeing is one of them. -JR. Rasclon// //Note: Either that, or the previous "conclusion" was part of whatever this "paranoia test" was. I just want to know who or what was behind it. Was this 914's doing? Was something else controlling 914's outputs somehow? Either way, on the possibility that you're right, I've got no problem staying off the Very Fine setting for a good long while. -Prof. Wren// //Note: Wise words, Wren.// //Note: So now it's the one testing us? Great, just great. -Dr. Mensa// ----- **Test 914-0726** **Name:** Dr. Cleveland **Date:** 30/04/2019 **Total Items:** One photo of Prof. Wren, one photo of Dr. Beiderman **Input:** Photo of Prof. Wren **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Photo of Prof. Wren and Researcher Darby singing onstage at Dr. Nukea's funeral. When shown to anyone who were present at Dr. Nukea's funeral, he or she would recall all memories shared with Dr. Nukea. //Note: That was plain unexpected. - Dr. Cleveland// //Note: Really nice, though. I don't think I've had that much fun or cried that hard in my whole life. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** Photo of Dr. Beiderman **Setting:** Fine **Output:** What can only assumed to be a photo of Dr. Beiderman and D-1618 sharing a kiss in Wollongong, Australia. The photo is dated 12/05/2019. //Note: Well, I never. Send someone to Australia for some confirmation. - Dr. Cleveland// //Note: Field trip? -Intern Lunar// //Note: Sure. Anyone who is interested in flying to Sydney? Our missing researcher and D-class are probably located. - Dr. Cleveland// //Note: I'm not paying for your road trip, I'm paying through the nose for that cleanup crew alone. Ask Norton from Accounting, and good luck trying to convince him that everything you need is absolutely required for official Foundation business, or just pay for your own Mojitos. - Veritas// //Note: I'm going to Sydney this summer; maybe I should check it out. -Dr. Mensa// ----- **Test 914-0727** **Name:** Dr. Tanger **Date:** 01/05/2019 **Total Items:** Three copies of //Where the Sidewalk Ends// by Shel Silverstein. //Note: I want to see if 914 understands simple poetry. If it does well on this test, we might move on to more advanced writing. - Dr. Tanger// **Input:** One item mentioned above **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One copy of //It's Raining Pigs and Noodles// by Jack Prelutsky **Input:** One item mentioned above **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One copy of //The Foundation's Follies// by Alexander Tanger, detailing the major failures of the Foundation in poetry form. //Note: Why is this machine trying to get me fired? - Dr. Tanger// **Input:** One item mentioned above **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A plain-looking paperweight / That changes the linguistic state / Of the author to write / Anything that they might / In a poetry form that they hate. //Note: A break is what I need now / If Veritas would ever allow / 914 has me done / So I have to run / Limerick poems are horrible - wow. - Dr. Tanger// ------ **Test 914-0728** **Name:** Dr. Hort **Date:** 01/05/2019 **Total items:** 3 vials, 60 ml of krypton. **Input:** 1 vial containing 20 ml of krypton. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A pile of aluminium nitrate, a pile of strontium. //Note: Even though you switched the protons, it doesn’t mean it’s equal, 914.// **Input:** 1 vial containing 20 ml of krypton. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A cloud of a compound of silicon, oxygen and krypton. //Note: This machine just altered the laws of physics. How is this gas even stable?// **Input:** 1 vial containing 20 ml of krypton. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Upon opening of the output booth, a white flash of over 13,000 lumens filled the room, burning Dr. Hort’s corneas. The vial was empty and unchanged. //Note: Luckily, I will be able to recover after a cornea transplant. Also, ouch. -Dr. Hort// //Note: This is why I wear sunglasses indoors Hort. -Dr. Mensa// //Note: It's also why it's standard procedure to use D-Class when testing 914 - Dr. Trandfir// ----- **Test 914-0729** **Name:** Dr. Clocks, D-07431 **Date:** 01/05/2019 **Total items:** Five copies of Macbeth //Note: Due to the whole 'cursed' nature of the aforementioned play. I've naturally sent a D-Class in for cover, just so I don't turn into another Darby. -Dr Clocks// **Input:** One copy of Macbeth **Setting:** Rough **Output:** Lumps of leather alongside piles of shredded and burnt paper. **Input:** One copy of Macbeth **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** One standard white paper cup filled with a reddish type of liquid. Chemical analysis shows it to be a sample of 'bad luck'. //Note: This is exactly what I was expecting with this test. Lets just hope it doesn't get any worse. -Dr Clocks// **Input:** One copy of Macbeth **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One copy of Titus Andronicus. **Input:** One copy of Macbeth **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One altered copy of Macbeth titled //'Clocks'//. Analysis reveals it to be almost identical to the original play aside from several assets being changed and the characters being replaced with Foundation personnel. Macbeth has been replaced with Dr. Clocks, Lady Macbeth has been replaced with Prof. Wren and King Duncan has been replaced with Veritas. //Note: Weird. I get what 914 was going for, but why am I married to Wren? I'd also like to notify that the characters 'MacDonald' and 'The Thane of Cawdor' have been replaced with Researcher Darby and Dr. Nukea. Both of whom have been killed off in the play beforehand. -Dr Clocks// **Input:** One copy of Macbeth **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Three miniature models of what appeared to be witches made entirely out of paper and slight traces of leather. When Dr Clocks approached them, they yelled out 'Hail thee, █████ Clocks, Senior Researcher.', 'Hail thee, █████ Clocks, Site Director.' and finally 'Hail thee, █████ Clocks, Foundation Administrator here on out!' before being immediately being terminated by security personnel. //Note: No, just no. I've already had a rough day, so no. -Dr Clocks// ------ [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 073X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 073X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0730** **Name:** Dr. Matism **Date:** 01/05/2019 **Items:** 3 spools of steel wire **Input:** One spool of wire **Setting:** Coarse **Output** One melted pile of steel **Input:** One spool of wire **Setting:** 1:1 **Output** One cube of solid steel **Input:** One spool of wire **Setting:** Fine **Output** One small steel sculpture of Dr. Matism with multiple blades embedded in his chest. The sculpture is titled '//7/5/19//'. //Note: I'm skipping work on Tuesday - Dr. Matism// ----- **Test 914-0731** **Name:** Dr. Mensa **Date:** 01/05/2019 **Total Items:** 5 (Five) Copies of ‘1984’ By George Orwell **Input:** One Copy of ‘1984’ **Setting:** Rough **Output:** Shreds of paper and cardboard in a puddle of ink //Note: Perfectly normal -Dr. Mensa// **Input:** One Copy of ‘1984’ **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** A sheet of cardboard, a stack of paper and a puddle of ink. //Note: Again this is the usual reaction -Dr. Mensa// **Input:** One Copy of ‘1984’ **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One Copy of ‘Fahrenheit 451’ By Ray Bradbury //Note: I expected ‘Animal Farm’ but this makes sense too -Dr. Mensa// **Input:** One Copy of ‘1984’ **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One Copy of ‘To Kill A Mockingbird’ By Harper Lee //Note: How did 914 know that was my favorite book? -Dr. Mensa// **Input:** One Copy of ‘1984’ **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** An unmarked book that when read shows the individual reading it their ideal story. Book has been placed in the break room. //Note: For me, it was just an adaptation of ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ although I’m Interested in what others read. -Dr. Mensa// //Note: Mine was simple, "Once upon a time there was life, then it died. The end." Makes sense due to my nihilistic view of the world - Dr. Matism// //Note: I got a reality anchor repair manual. I really like my job. - MT Johnson// ------ **Test 914-0732** **Name:** Dr. Matism **Date:** 01/05/2019 **Items:** One globe **Input:** The Globe **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One levitating model of Earth. The model has an anomalous inner core made of the iron from the globe's bearings that creates a small magnetic field capable of sustaining a small gaseous atmosphere. Small colonies of normally airborne bacteria are placed in heavily foliaged areas. All bodies of water normally present on Earth are also visible. //Note: A small, self-sustaining biosphere with its own independently functioning ecosystems. I'll keep this in my office. Just so you know Dr. Veritas, I've placed a small incendiary charge next to it just in case it starts acting up - Dr. Matism// //Note: It appears the organisms on the globe are beginning to evolve, and we now have a miniature version of [[[SCP-3000 |SCP-3000]]]. In addition, small land-based mammals are beginning to show up as well. I fear the day they start a space program - Dr. Matism// //Note: I dropped a paperclip into the Pacific and I might have caused a mass extinction -Dr. Mensa// //Note: Fortunately, due to the laws of time, the inhabitants have relatively accelerated evolution, and have evolved to the point where they know how to build blast shelters. You did, though obliterate the entirety of the west coast of the Americas and the east coast of Asia. Congratulations Mensa, you caused a lesser VK-Class scenario on your second day. - Dr. Matism// ----- **Test 914-0733** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 01/05/2019 **Items:** 5 CDs of various Metallica albums. //Note: Please be done with the 19 nonsense. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** Metallica album, "Ride the Lightning." **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A miniature bicycle. Touching the bicycle causes an electrostatic shock, regardless of location. //Note: I got so preoccupied triple-checking this thing for "19" references I didn't even realize the pun. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** Metallica album, "St. Anger." **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A model of a "poo" emoji made of plastic. //Note: Critic. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** Metallica album, "Reload." **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Album by a band called "DOS", titled "Abort, Retry, Fail?". Disc inside reshaped to a 5.25 floppy disk; no data found on it by any means. //Note: Well that was... odd. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** Metallica and San Fransisco Symphony album, "S&M." **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A CD containing a PDF copy of the Kama Sutra in 17 languages. //Note: ...Huh. Was expecting something a bit less tasteful. Anyway, saved the best one for last. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** Metallica album, "Black." **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Acillatem album, "White." Songs on new album are the same as the input, only played in reverse and performed by female artists. //Note: Aaaand that's that, I guess. Wow, never thought I'd appreciate an uneventful day here this much. -Prof. Wren// ------ **Test 914-0734** **Name:** Dr. Harvey the ll **Date:** 01/05/2019 **Total items:** A machine labeled the Darby Regeneration Center //Note: I found this in Dr. Thompson’s room. She was entrusted by Veritas to make sure Terren doesn’t take it along with Darby. She allowed me to test with it because I wasn’t going to risk Darby’s life. -Harvey the ll// **Input:** Above mentioned **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A machine labeled the Nukea Recovery Center. Around 5 seconds later, Nukea came out of the Nukea Recovery Center alive. //Note: He is alive! I missed him so much! Thank you Dr. Harvey the ll!// -Tamsen. //Note: Before anyone asks, no, you cannot get any money you lost betting over Nukea's death back.// - Junior Researcher Stan //Note: I'm getting security, that is not Nukea, I don't know what it is. - Researcher Darby// //Note: Nukea is dead. That... thing, that abomination, it looked like one of those mutts from the Hunger Games trilogy. Have that thing terminated for Veritas' sake. Tamsen, it's trying to persuade you into believing it's Nukea. **It is not.** - Dr. Cleveland// //Note: Further examination reveals that on the back of the Nukea Recovery Center, it details about a paranoia and delusional side effect from nearby researchers. I started to see it too but later realized that it will stop around 12 hours after Nukea has been produced. -Vand// //Note: Just to be safe I had "Nukea" placed in a humanoid holding cell with food and water untill we know if it's really him or something else. -Researcher Festiv// ------ **Test 914-0735** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 01/05/2019 **Items:** One pair of prescription glasses. //Note: As much as I'd love to claim that I'm trying to develop a countermeasure or safety against optical memetics like that thing trying to pass itself off as Dr. Nukea, the simple truth is I lost a bet with the acting Security Chief. Lucky for me the optometrist was having a BOGO sale that weekend, so I got away with sacrificing my spares for this. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** The glasses. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Same pair of glasses, initially appearing unaltered except for the frames and lenses being lightly tinted blue. Further testing revealed that, by rubbing a finger along the top of the frames, a variety of visual modes could be accessed, including infrared vision, a "life-force vision" that showed an "aura" around living creatures, and over 200 modes that serve no useful purpose, including what Prof. Wren described as "Bacon-vision" which functions similar to the "life-force" vision but showed the aura around pieces of bacon instead. Tapping the sides of the frames returned the visual mode to normal. //Note: ...Okay, now I __know__ 914's just screwing with me, but you know what? I'll take it. Switching view modes is gonna take some practice, though; I slide my finger a freaking millimeter and it rotates through about 60 different modes fast enough to make me want to vomit. Definitely touchy, this one. -Prof. Wren// //Note: Upon discovering that one of the visual modes blocked the effects of optical memetics and cognitohazards, security forces confiscated the glasses to ensure they were not misused.// //Note: [EXPLETIVE DELETED]. -Prof. Wren// //Note: Does anyone know if this thing could block the effects of infohazards like The Eleventh Hour (the result from 914 the first time I used it) nullified 1128's? - Dr. Cleveland// //Note: I'm willing to bet that's classified above our pay levels now. I was just getting to like those, too. -Prof. Wren// ----- **Test 914-0736** **Name:** JR. Rasclon **Date:** 02/05/2019 **Items:** Four 10g chunks of natural uranium, each consisting of 99.3% uranium-238 and 0.7% uranium-235 by mass. //Note: After some painkillers and therapy, I've managed to get over my previous test. I want to test if common refinement processes can be carried out by 914, as well as see if the easier to predict Rough and Coarse settings can be semi-reliably used to, say, enrich uranium by splitting the isotopes into discrete chunks. I've got the proper clearance to do this, as well as the necessary safety equipment. I'll also be avoiding Rough, to hopefully prevent any particulate uranium from being created or inhaled, and will terminate the test before Very Fine if things start to get particularly dangerous. -JR. Rasclon// **Input:** Chunk of uranium **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** Three 3.33g chunks of uranium, each retaining the original ratio of isotopes. //Note: Not the 238/235 split I was hoping for. Also, three identical chunks. So far, nothing dangerous though. -JR. Rasclon// **Input:** Chunk of uranium **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One 10g chunk of uranium, in a different shape to the input. //Note: Both of these first two outputs were disposed of with standard radioisotope handling equipment.// **Input:** Chunk of uranium **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A 10g chunk of uranium --with a fluctuating ratio of isotopes--. The chunk of uranium possesses the anomalous property of constantly shifting the position of the uranium-235 inside it. This has been observed to work even when the chunk was separated into multiple discrete pieces, with the uranium-235 apparently moving between the pieces. //Note: Weird, but ultimately no more harmful than normal uranium. The Very Fine test will be going ahead, but the test will be conducted by D-5396 while the testing chamber is observed remotely. -JR. Rasclon// **Input:** Chunk of uranium **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A chunk of uranium, which was glowing brightly enough to blind D-5396. The glow dimmed considerably in the next two hours, and researchers entering the chamber found that the uranium was emitting electromagnetic radiation near-equally across the electromagnetic spectrum between the wavelengths of 1cm and 1nm. This emission reduced the half-life of the uranium to only 20 minutes, causing it to glow intensely and decay rapidly. D-5396 is being treated for radiation poisoning. The short half-life of the material caused it to decay into non-anomalous isotopes quickly enough to be stored in the same manner as non-anomalous radioisotopes. //Note: Well, I didn't get the result I wanted, but there are a few things to be gained from this. For one, the fact that 914 can anomalously affect and accelerate transmutation effects like atomic decay, despite not being able to cause it directly. As an aside, the half-life was a third of an hour. However, no escalation is yet present in the "three" trend, thankfully. -JR. Rasclon// ----- **Test 914-0737** **Name:** Researcher A. Dross **Date:** 05/05/2019 **Total items:** One VR headset, several high quality tablets, and a graph paper drawing of a 'protogen'. **Input:** Aforementioned items. **Setting:** Very fine **Output:** --A black triangle-- A black, somewhat triangular object that attached itself to R. Dross after an attempt to remove it from the output booth. The object promptly turned on, displaying what appeared to be the eyes, mouth, and nostrils of the protogen. No adverse effects observed during and after attachment. //Note: Despite efforts by medical personnel to get the visor off, it cannot be removed. Further attempts are discouraged, due to it now being R. Dross's face.// //Note: Researcher A. Dross retains the ability to breathe, eat, and see through anomalous means. Additionally, emotions such as anger and sadness display emoticons on the visor.// ----- **Test 914-0738** **Name:** Researcher Jane Cho **Date:** 07/05/2019 **Total Items:** 0.7kg pallasite meteorite sample **Input:** Meteorite sample **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A long metal pole composed of the iron-nickel alloy, topped with a large faceted peridot crystal. Polishing revealed that the Widmanstätten patterns were still present in the metal. ----- **Test 914-0739** **Name:** Dr. Hort **Date:** 07/05/2019 **Total Items:** Vegetable burrito //Note: This test was made to see if 914 can transform certain types of energy into others. Music was played at 120 decibels inside the input chamber before starting 914, with the objective of cooking the burrito using the kinetic sound energy.// **Input:** Burrito **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A burrito filled with smashed vegetables. A bright flash of over 9.500 lumens was visible when the output chamber opened, injuring the retina of D-7438 (who was used to open the output chamber) permanently. ----- [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 074X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 074X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0740** **Name:** Researcher Darby **Date:** 07/05/2019 **Total Items:** Six Boeing 737 jet engines //Note: I obtained military grade blast shields, so hopefully if things go wrong, I will not get hurt - Researcher Darby// **Input:** One Boeing 737 engine. **Setting:** Rough **Output:** One mangled and scorched Boeing 737 engine. **Input:** One Boeing 737 engine **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** Several piles of engine components and a bucket of fuel //Note: Did I forget to flush the fuel from the engines? Well, it's too late at this point anyway. - Researcher Darby// **Input:** One Boeing 737 engine **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Two Rolls Royce engines. **Input:** One Boeing 737 engine **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One liquid fuel booster (bell nozzle). **Input:** One Boeing 737 engine **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One Steel mannequin dressed in heavy plate armor reminiscent of medieval German armors. Mannequin is armed with several blades arrayed around its body and is posed as if to ambush whoever enters the booth. //Note: Thankfully, it is not animate, I don't think there's enough Security Personnel to contain it if it was. I do like that it is completely anatomically correct, it even has fuel for blood. - Researcher Darby// **Input:** One Boeing 737 engine **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Seven miniature jet fighters that upon SCP-914's output door opening, flew out and attacked Researcher Darby to no effect due to crashing into Researcher Darby's blast shield. Inside the output booth, 13 more planes were found. They seemed inoperable until Researcher Darby attempted to collect them, upon which they self-destructed, fracturing several bones of both Darby and surrounding security personnel. //Note: I think maybe I'll try something simpler next time, like a teddy bear, or a log. That can't possibly hurt me right? - Researcher Darby// //Note: The log (if wood) would probably explode giving everyone splinters, and the bear probably would find some magical way to hurt someone. Why not try a mug? It couldn't be that bad, right? -Intern Lunar// //Note: What about a plastic bottle full of oxygen? Surely that couldn’t harm Darby if it was refined... right? -Dr. Clockworks// //Note: Darby got really lucky this time. Normally such an outcome would result in at least one death. - Dr. Cleveland// //Note: I'm glad that you are taking more precautions towards your safety, Darby. This should be an example for everyone and will definitely help with lowering the amount of pain killers I've been prescribing to this research unit. -Doctor Starr.// //Note: Darby, maybe a battery next test. It might make something compatible with this stupid thing on my face. - Researcher A. Dross.// //Note: Oh. Darby's back. Fantastic. - Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0741** **Name:** Dr. Cleveland **Date:** 07/05/2019 **Total Items:** One map of Moscow Oblast, 1:100000 scale **Input:** Map of Moscow Oblast **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One humanoid made of paper. When D-27183 attempted to retrieve the output, the humanoid proceeded to yell in Russian, with vocalizations reaching 85 decibels at minimum and 145 decibels at maximum, causing moderate damage to D-27183's left ear. Result incinerated. ----- **Test 914-0742** **Name:** Doctor Starr **Date:** 08/05/2019 **Total Items:** Four pills of "914 Brand Painkiller" from previous testing, 1 handwritten note, 1 pencil. //Note: Seeing the success of my previous test, I’ve come to the conclusion that further enhancement of our own medicines are due. I’ve put in my request to be moved from my current position as --Nurse for SCP-914 victims-- a Physician in the Medical Ward to a Researcher. I’ve already received a promotion from level 1 to level 2 clearance for my success with the painkillers. -Doctor Starr.// **Input:** One of the above mentioned pills **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** An almost invisible white gas cloud that was dissipated into the room. Scans show that it originated from the top output booth and it has the same chemical makeup as “914 Brand Painkillers”. Scans conducted after D-Class reported numbness in airway and skin. **Input:** One of the above mentioned pills **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** --Unchanged Pill-- One pill of “914 Brand Pain”. Discovery found out after D-Class ingestion. D-Class was administered on-hand ‘’914 Brand Painkiller” listed in total items. //Note: I was planning on doing two tests on Fine, but I could not watch a “914 Brand Pain” in action again. I may not want to be a doctor anymore but I still refuse to intentionally hurt someone like that. Moving on to the reason I’m here. -Doctor Starr.// **Input:** One of the above mentioned pills, one note asking, “Can you alter this so they sedate people as well, please?”, one pencil **Setting:** Fine **Output:** New note in the form of an SCP-914-E log that isn't found anywhere in the records. It alone has the same mass as all of the items put in the input. Much of the log is blocked out using a mixture of the pencil (minus the graphite) and “914 Brand Painkiller” fused with the paper. It states the following: **[Start Transcript]** //Note: ███ ████ █ have clearance, █ ████ ██ ████████ ███ experiment ███████ ███ ██ SCP-914 on ██/05/2019. ██ ███ ██████ ██ create the ███████ cure. -Doctor Starr.// **Name:** Doctor Starr. **Date:** ██/██/████ **Total Items:** One pill of "914 Brand Painkiller" from previous testing, 100 grams of pure hydrogen, 100 grams of pure carbon, 100 grams of pure nitrogen, and 100 grams of pure oxygen. **Input:** All of the items stated above **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** █████████ ██████ ████ ██ tablet ████ ███ ███ ███ ███ ██████ “914 Brand Miracle ████”. Underside of ██████ has the █████ “Cures all ███████ and allows █████████ to ██████████ █████████ successfully learn ██ ███.” After analyzing the output, it ██████ clear ████ 914 combined the oxygen, nitrogen, carbon, and hydrogen into █████ ███ and ████ a new ████████████ and ██████████ drug ████ ███ █ previously thought impossible ████████ ████████. ███ ██████ ████ storage locker 27█ in Site-19 non-anomalous storage. █████ reverse engineering is possible, █████ ██ ██ ██████ ██ make more. //Note: I can’t believe it. We ███ █████ ██ a ███████ ████, ███ ███ ██ ████, ███’█ ████████. █████ ███ ███████ everyone██ ████ ██ ████ one, but █ ██████ ███████ ████ ██ █████ ████ a cure to everything in existence… -Doctor Starr.// **[End Transcript]** //Note: This is both intriguing and potentially promising. We are talking about mass production of an SCP-500 class drug. I’ve check all the previous logs and all storage lockers 270-279 and haven’t found anything in regards to this experiment. While a good portion of the log is blocked out, it seems we might be able to follow it and create what is known as a miracle cure, which is, as stated by myself in the log, the holy grail of modern medicine. It says that I received clearance for this test, so I am asking now if I may be allowed to conduct this experiment. -Doctor Starr.// //Note: Starr, you're extremely new here if you trust anything that machine is saying. I'd be fine with it if you just endangered yourself, call it natural selection, but I'm not touching this with a ten meter pole until Hackett gives the OK because you're going to endanger those around you and I won't be held responsible. - Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0743** **Name:** Assistant Researcher Erickson. **Date:** 08/05/2019 **Total Items:** D-69021, one piece of paper with a crudely drawn plane in ink. **Input:** Piece of paper. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** An origami paper airplane, capable of anomalous flight, and "painted" with ink nose art depicting a gear. Wings proved to be very sharp. D-69021 admitted to infirmary for paper cuts on the webbing of his fingers. Object placed in secure storage locker. //Note: Upon unfolding the paper airplane, a small sentence was written in ink. Translation from the Mekkhane language pending. - Assistant Researcher Erickson// ----- **Test 914-0744** **Name:** Assistant Researcher Erickson **Date:** 08/05/2019 **Total Items:** D-69021, one piece of paper with the Foundation logo drawn on it in ink. //Note: What does this SCP think about the Foundation itself?// **Input:** Piece of paper. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A small cartoon depicting an anthropomorphic cockroach in a lab-coat using a large amount of scientific equipment on the "pinky" toe of a much larger mechanical entity, superficially resembling "Abhoth", from the Cthulhu Mythos, created by H.P. Lovecraft. ----- **Test 914-0745** **Name:** Researcher A. Dross **Date:** 08/05/2019 **Total items:** One crowbar, one phone charger, industrial battery pack, 2 notes stating "Either help me get this visor off, or give me a compatible charger, 914". **Input:** One crowbar, One note. **Setting:** Fine. **Output:** A thin, steel bar covered in metallic feathers. , torn pieces of paper. //Note: Honestly should've seen that coming from a mile away. -Researcher A. Dross// **Input:** Phone charger, industrial battery pack, note. **Setting:** Very fine. //Note: I got some lightly used blast shields here in case of this exploding or becoming animate. -Researcher A. Dross// **Output:** Trapezoidal prism-like device, with no outstanding markings save for a indication of positive and negative charges. Object fit perfectly into visor, boosting capabilities and features. //Note: The device appears to increase 'growth' of the metal hair around the visor. Device taken out, examined for any harmful anomalous properties, and given back to R. Dross.// //Note: Visor was able to be removed from Researchers head with the device in. No markings or damage noted. Visor awaiting possible classification, put into secure storage. Tests on D-Class personnel pending approval.// //Note: Huh. Thanks, 914. -Dross// ------------------- **Test 914-0746** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 09/05/2019 **Total Items:** 3 souvenir T-Shirts, XL size, from Knott's Berry Farm //Note: I'm --not-- --Knott-- not going to be the least bit surprised if 914 somehow turns one of these into a harp. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** 1 shirt. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 1 souvenir T-shirt, XL size, from the San Diego Zoo. //Note: Wow, I have --not-- --Knott-- not been there in years! I should go back time. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** 1 shirt. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 1 souvenir T-shirt, XL size, from the Broadway musical "Cats." //Note: Hmm. --Not-- --Knott-- Not really a fan of this one. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** 1 shirt. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 1 plain white T-shirt, XL size, with --an unusual symbol on it. Symbol does Knott contain any anomalous properties.-- a memetic symbol on it. Viewing the symbol causes the viewer to briefly feel compelled to spell all homonyms of "not" as "Knott." //Note: Had to go back and re-correct the written copy of my notes up until this point after seeing that. Stupid thing convinced me I was somehow misspelling "not" over and over. Good grief that was embarrassing. Knott funny, 914. Pun __fully__ intended. -Prof. Wren// ------------------- **Test 914-0747** **Name:** Junior Researcher Darian, Observed by Dr.Sheath **Date:** 09/05/2019 **Total Items:** 4 Non-rechargeable AA Duracell Batteries (No charge) //Note: I’ll be skipping Rough due to fears of a detonated battery, and all of them will have their charge depleted in order to reduce risk of something unsavory happening. -Junior Researcher Darian// **Input:** 1 Duracell Battery (No charge) **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** Multiple minute blocks of steel, and other metals. **Input:** 1 Duracell Battery (No charge) **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 1 Energizer AA battery **Input:** 1 Duracell Battery (No charge) **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 1 AA battery of unknown manufacturer. It can hold half as much power in it, but can handle higher voltages. //Note: I was expecting something like a rechargeable battery, but then again this is 914 after all.// **Input:** 1 Duracell Battery (No charge) **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Unchanged //Note: From reading many of the previous logs, something is up. Additional safety measures have been taken. -Darian// //A D-class was sent in with protective clothing to retrieve the battery. The D-class picked up the battery with tongs, but dropped it while transporting it to a non-conductive container for study. The battery forcefully shattered, tearing through the protective suit the D-class was wearing and inflicting multiple cuts.// //Afterword: Seems like 914 changed the battery from storing electrical energy to kinetic energy, and charged it somehow. -Darian// ------------------- **Test 914-0748** //Note: Now that I have clearance, I will be carrying out the experiment written out by SCP-914 on 08/05/2019. We are hoping to create the perfect cure. -Doctor Starr// **Name:** Doctor Starr **Date:** 09/05/2019 **Total Items:** One pill of "914 Brand Painkiller" from previous testing, 100 grams of pure hydrogen, 100 grams of pure carbon, canister containing 100 grams of pure nitrogen, and one containing 100 grams of pure oxygen. **Input:** All of the items stated above **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Slightly larger pill in tablet form but the top now states “914 Brand Miracle Acid”. Two ruptured aluminium canisters. Underside of tablet has the words “Cures all worries and allows consumers to see violent penguins successfully learn to fly.” After lab analysis of the output, it became clear that 914 combined the oxygen, nitrogen, carbon, and hydrogen into pure LSD and then made a new hallucinogen and depressant drug that has a previously thought impossible chemical reaction using the "914 Brand Painkiller". Log placed into storage locker 273 in Site-19 non-anomalous storage. While reverse engineering is possible, there is no reason to make more. //Note: I can’t believe it. I got duped by a machine that, for all we know, isn’t sentient. Sorry for wasting everyone's time on this one, I really thought that we could make a cure to everything in existence. -Doctor Starr// ------------------- **Test 914-0749** **Name:** Researcher A. Dross **Date:** 09/05/2019 **Total items:** One VR headset, several high quality tablets, mass of wires, D-43098, and another drawing of a 'protogen', various electronic supplies. //Note: I had the D-Class operate the machine, because different people get different results from the same materials. -Researcher A. Dross// **Input:** Aforementioned items. **Setting:** Very fine (performed by D-Class) **Output:** --Random shapes with no correlation to input-- Modifications for R. Dross's visor. Modifications materials consisted of a compound created by combining certain input materials, including a paper and graphite pulp. //Note: On second thought, it's best if I don't test on D-Class this time. I volunteer myself for testing. -Dross// //Note: Your funeral, Dross. Or worse. - Veritas// //Note: Think about it though. Giving this to D-class with the risk of them becoming too powerful to be stopped isn't something anyone would want. -Researcher A. Dross// **Input:** One of the outputs, specifically a thin disc shaped modification, with some of the electronic components. **Setting:** Very fine **Output** Another disc, with an engraving of the symbols 4NU-B15 on the side. Testing by Researcher Dross on himself that the disc allowed the visor to highlight potential threats, including an 'anti memetic hazard' mode. ------------------- [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 075X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 075X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0750** **Name:** Assistant Researcher Erickson **Date:** 09/05/2019 **Total items:** One photograph of SCP-882 suspended in fluid, one pencil, one paper. **Input:** Aforementioned items. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One photo of O5-1, appears to have been taken through a firearm scope. One piece of paper, with the message "checkmate" written in bold lettering. One pencil. Site-1 has been put on lockdown until it is determined whether or not the photo is fabricated. //Note: Turns out, it is. Hackett tells me that O5-1 never visited Acapulco, like in the photo. Don't ask me how the geometry department figured that one out from one image, I don't know. - Veritas// ------------------- **Test 914-0751** **Name:** G (Presumed) **Date:** 25/02/3099 (Speculation) **Total Items:** UNKNOWN **Input:** UNKNOWN ITEMS **Setting:** Very Fine (Speculation) **Output:** A 6 cm tall robot that danced in place for 45 seconds before ceasing function. Of note is that a speaker on the robot played a voice clip saying 'Eureka! It worked!' over itself before falling apart. The inside was made up of clockwork pieces, as well as a note written as follows: //Hello, from February 25th, 3099!! Surprised to see we're still kicking this far out? If you'd like to do the same, i.e, live, I'd request a transfer to another site. - G// Event was responded to with immediate aggression from posted guards and personnel. The event was witnessed and recorded from outside of the room, being out of use at the time. //Note: The above test occurred spontaneously. The Time and Mechanism wings of the facility have come to the conclusion that the item appears to be the result of some future version of the facility. If they are to be believed, I'd like to be transferred to Site 607-23. -Junior Researcher Aniyah// //Note: This heavily implies that this test was premeditated. If this is to be the case, I request that we gather all the materials of the object and put it into a time capsule of some sort. I doubt we will need the note, so keep it on standby for testing. - Dr. Ira// //Note: Both requests approved. - Site Director Hackett// //Note: Oh, that's just [REDACTED] perfect. Just when we get a semi-clue of the logic in this thing, it's implied that personnel from the future starts screwing with it. - Veritas// //Note: No one said that it would be easy, Lucius. - Site Director Hackett// ------ **Test 914-0752** **Name:** Dr. Amare **Date:** 09/05/2019 **Total Items:** 1 standard non-scented candle **Input:** Above item **Setting:** Fine **Output:** No physical changes, but when lit; the scent has been described as a pasta type smell. //Note: Further testing has found that each time the candle is lit, a different type of food smell is emitted. -Amare// ------------------- **Test 914-0753** **Name:** Dr. Mensa **Date:** 09/05/2019 **Total Items:** 3 crystal wine glasses //Note: These were expensive, this better be good. -Dr. Mensa// **Input:** 1 Wine Glass **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 1 crystal pint glass //Note: the “pint” glass is considerably smaller than a regular pint glass -Dr. Mensa// **Input:** 1 Wine Glass **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A crystal statuette of a sobbing boy. //Note: Despite the terrible pun (whining), the statuette itself is quite exquisite. Permission to keep it in my office? -Dr. Mensa// //Note: Granted. You have a weird taste in decoration, Mensa. - Veritas// **Input:** 1 Wine Glass **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** --Unchanged.-- When D-23546 went to retrieve the glass, she immediately started acting like she was intoxicated. Proceeded to attempt seducing Dr. Mensa, who was visibly uncomfortable. Upon guards attempting to retrieve D-23546 she became very agitated and attempted to attack a guard, after which she was terminated. Output was later moved to anomalous item storage. ------ **Test 914-0754** **Name:** Dr. Ira **Date:** 09/05/2019 **Total Items:** One pint of highly contaminated water **Input:** Aforementioned items. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One balloon like instance resembling a Tardigrade As the amount of matter inside the water, in addition to the water itself, is minimal, the instance floated and was nearly entirely translucent. //Note: It wouldd appear that all of the tissue making this thing up is extremely loosely samples of bacteria in the initial pint of water, in addition to small water molecule chains holding it together. Apologies for the rule bending here, I'd honestly completely forgotten about microscopic beings in context of this thing. -Dr. Ira// ------------ **Test 914-0755** **Name:** Researcher A. Dross **Date:** 09/05/2019 **Total items:** 8 kg of steel, 8 kg of wires and circuits, 4 boxes of gears and cogs, High end computer, and a drawing of a Protogen. 4 Modifications for the Protogen visor were included, as well as 2 AI cores. //Note: Don't question what I'm doing unless I destroy anything. -Researcher A. Dross.// **Input:** 2 kg of steel, 2 kg of wires, 1 box of gears, 1 visor Module, AI core, high end computer. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A Equilateral pyramid with the ability to hover. Object is sentient, and follows Researcher Dross, even teleporting short distances to get to him. //Note: Dr. Veritas, permission to keep this as a pet? I named him Henry. -Researcher Dross.// //Note: As I said for years, keep it, but I'm not responsible if that thing sucks your brain out later down the line. - Veritas// **Input:** AI core, 1 module. **Setting:** Fine. **Output:** A second trapedoidal modification, with an AI assistant, referred to as Cayde. Researcher Dross became visibly upset after talking with the AI. //Note: I still miss him. -Researcher Dross// **Input:** Remaining objects **Setting:** Very fine //Note: Security personnel were sent to provide backup in case of escalation.// **Output:** A dark gray jacket, made of a soft cloth thought to be woven from the carbon and iron in the steel. Small square panel on the back of the jacket with an unknown purpose. //Note: Since none of the things I make should be tested with D-Class, I will be wearing this. -R Dross.// //Note: After putting the jacket on, the panel opened 6 small hatches, revealing wires that hooked into the visor. After linking, the back of the panel opened, revealing modification slots and directions in Eliksni on how to operate the panel and visor. Translation pending.// ------------ **Test 914-0756** **Name:** Researcher Jane Cho **Date:** 09/05/2019 **Total Items:** 1kg arkose sandstone, 1kg shale, 1kg limestone, 1kg chert, 1kg laterite, 1kg anthracite coal **Input:** Arkose sandstone **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A levitating cube composed of a granite-like stone material. When in contact with a human subject, the cube will vocalize the word "SAND" in a loud, high-pitched voice. **Input:** Shale **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A stack of 256 rectangular stone tablets composed of various silicate minerals. Each sheet depicts a memetic image via arrangement of mineral crystals. Viewing said image will project a certain idea into the viewer's mind. Examples include: "Apple", "Fluorescent Lightbulb", "Crosswalk", and "Motorcycle". The sheets are completely safe to view. An ordered list of the ideas is available on request. //Note: Are these some kind of flashcards? Other than that, I haven't found any apparent pattern or meaning in the ordering of the cards. - Jane Cho// **Input:** Limestone **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A large ovaloid rock resembling the shape of a lime fruit. Mineral composition is unchanged. **Input:** Chert **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A round table with three legs, composed entirely of silica. The legs of the table have multiple concave patterns resembling multiple species of siliceous marine organisms. **Input:** Laterite **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A large, dark-colored mug containing a small faceted ruby inside. Upon inspection, the ruby has been shown to be a single crystal that has been grown while being limited in size to the 'faceted' shape. //Note: I get the ruby, but why did 914 choose to put it in a mug? - Jane Cho// //Note: Could I have the mug? It's for testing. -Intern Lunar// //Note: Sure. - Jane Cho// **Input:** Anthracite coal **Setting:** Fine **Output:** An extremely detailed coal sculpture of a tree log. ---------------------------------------------------- **Test 914-0757** **Name:** Jr. Researcher Kramer **Date:** 10/05/2019 **Total Items:** One metal mesh wastebin full of discarded papers from my office. //Note: This test is to see what SCP-914 would do with something that is deemed worthless.// **Input:** Aforementioned wastebin **Setting:** Fine **Output:** All the papers in the wastebin were replaced with images of Jr. Researcher Kramer with the word "Trash" stamped over them in red ink //Note: Harsh. - Jr. Researcher Kramer// ---------------------------------------------------- **Test 914-0758** **Name:** Dr. Cleveland **Date:** 10/05/2019 **Total Items:** One metal statue of Kim Jong-Il, 1:2 scale (63 percent osmium, 20 percent iridium, 10 percent cobalt, 5 percent iron, 2 percent copper). **Input:** Statue **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One model of the [[[scp-1427 | Ryugong Hotel]]], 1:400 scale. Despite the choice of materials making up the original statue, the model neither showed mind-affecting properties consistent with [[[scp-148 | telekill]]] nor the subjective conciousness-suppressing properties of SCP-1427, instead playing all songs associated with Canadian hip hop artist Drake. //Note: Given 914's usual course of action, a symbol of oppression made of a telekill-like alloy, playing Hotline Bling of all songs is totally unexpected... All I'm sure is that I'm not doing that again. - Dr. Cleveland// ----- **Test 914-0759** **Name:** Researcher A. Dross **Date:** 10/05/2019 **Total items** Sample of filament fur growing around R. Dross's visor. Sample contains no organic material. **Input:** Sample of filament fur. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Small pile of metallic feathers of the same composition. //Note: I wanted to do something smaller than my recent tests, plus I have an indefinite supply of the filaments. -Researcher A. Dross// ------ [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 076X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 076X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0760** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 10/05/2019 **Items:** 3 wristwatch communicator toys from the "Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers" franchise. **Input:** A wrist-communicator toy. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** At first glance, the same wrist-comm, but with a flip-up face that reveals a watch underneath. The numbers on the face are placed in reverse order and the hands run counterclockwise, but otherwise the watch functions normally. //Note: Technically still an accurate timepiece, but trying to read it gives me a headache. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** A wrist-comm. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** The same wrist-comm. The interior of it has been altered to function as a short-range radio that broadcasts and receives on a frequency of ████ Hz and has a maximum range of 17 kilometers. Increased functionality causes the battery life to run down significantly faster. //Note: I'm gonna get this thing tweaked to work on Foundation frequencies and replace the battery with a better power supply so that it can actually be used. After that, I call dibs, though I'm sure we can reverse-engineer a few more for anyone else. -Prof. Wren// **Input::** A wrist-comm. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** The same wrist-comm. Upon putting it on to test communications functions, the D-class disappeared in a beam of orange light that shot off towards the western United States. Satellite tracked it for 27 minutes until it reached the Brandeis-Bardin Campus at the American Jewish University in Sim Valley, California, where the D-class rematerialized and impacted the roof. D-class terminated. //Note: I was baffled by this until I looked at satellite photos of the place he wound up. That building was apparently used as the Command Center in the original Power Rangers. Sorry about the roof, guys. -Prof. Wren// ----- **Test 914-0761** **Name:** Researcher A. Dross **Date:** 10/05/2019 **Total items:** 10 unusable modifications in varying shapes and sizes. //Note: Might as well improve them, or scrap them. -Researcher Dross.// **Input:** 2 defunct modules **Setting:** Rough **Output:** Pile of scrap metal. Inspection revealed that they were destroyed by incineration. **Input:** 2 defunct modules **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** Dissected piles of metal, wires, and unknown technological components. **Input:** 2 defunct modules **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One module fitting a slot in R. Dross's jacket panel. Testing revealed that the module keeps track of Jeff, the mug cat, Olive, the peridot cat, and Reepicheep, the metaloid crow, as well as Henry. **Input:** 2 defunct modules **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One cylinder-shaped module that exploded upon being touched by D-Class. Minor blast injuries to D-45903, other personnel unharmed. **Input:** 2 defunct modules **Setting:** Very fine **Output:** Cylindrical module with warning symbols on it. When placed in the back panel, temporary invisibility was possible. Module placed in secure storage. //Note: Darn. -R Dross.// //Note: Yeah, I wouldn't actually use those if I were you. I know 914 and you're probably risking becoming permanently intangible or some other ghastly side-effect when left on too long or used too much. ''Very fine'' is extremely effective and extremely dangerous. - Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0762** **Name:** Researcher Festiv **Date:** 10/05/2019 **Items:** One large chunk of honeycomb //Note: 1. I lost a bet to Stan. 2. It's purged of all honey. 3. I have a beekeeper suit on. As well as body armor. -Researcher Festiv// **Input:** Chunk of honeycomb **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One ball of wax and fiber, which exploded into a swarm of animate wax bees upon the opening of the output chamber. The bees proceeded to attack Junior Researcher Stan, who was waiting to conduct a test at the time. Upon reaching him, the swarm melted around his wrist, before taking the shape of a wax bracelet. The bracelet stung him several times before becoming inert. //Note: It seems the bracelet stingers were made of diamond, likely made out of carbon impurities in the honeycomb. Also, what about that other bet we made Stan? You know, the one about what was going to happen with the output to this test. -Researcher Festiv// //Note: Both Festiv and Stan are cleaning dishes and have cleanup duty for a week or two. They were treating my testing area like a bloody betting range rather than a professional testing environment. That wax got bloody everywhere, and my janitors have filed their third request for an increased salary, probably because they have to work with all you walking disasters. - Veritas// ------ **Test 914-0763** **Name:** Assistant Researcher Erickson **Date:** 10/05/2019 **Total items:** Two reams of standard lined paper. Two documents detailing the existence of the pataphysics department. **Input:** One ream. One document **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One ream of paper, capable of anomalously manifesting dialogue from a member of the "Pataphysics Department Communications Unit." Writing on the pages allows direct communication with the pataphysics department. //Note: We can use this to our advantage. - Assistant Researcher Erickson// **Input:** One ream. One document **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One ream. One document detailing the existence of the pata-pataphysics department. Used by the Foundation to give them a second layer of protection from text-based anomalies. A department of researchers written into existence by the pataphysics department, which was written into existence by the Foundation. //Note: This gives me a headache. "Pata-ception"? A story written by a story? - Erickson// ----- **Test 914-0764** **Name:** Dr. Mensa **Date:** 10/05/2019 **Total Items:** 3 Amazon Echo dots **Input:** 1 Echo dot **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 1 Google home mini **Input:** 1 Echo dot **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 1 Echo dot that can answer any question asked by the user that has already been answered by humans. Result is correct around 48% of the time. **Input:** 1 Echo dot **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** 1 Echo dot that houses an AI with an above average intelligence level for an adult human. The AI has a personality that is very snarky, sarcastic and vulgar. The AI is proficient at insulting facility personnel, seemingly having an innate sense of insecurities and prior life events. //Note: Result incinerated. That thing had some mouth on it. - Veritas// ----------------- **Test 914-0765** **Name:** Researcher A. Dross **Date:** 10/05/2019 **Total items:** 5 vials of Filament fur [Sample originates from jacket created by R. Dross in previous tests] //Note: No idea why this stuff is growing or how its growing, but its not harmful yet... -Researcher A. Dross// **Input:** 1 Filament fur vial. **Setting:** Rough **Output:** shards of glass, steel, and rubber. Remains incinerated. **Input:** 1 Filament fur vial. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** Small block of pure carbon, Cube of iron, Glass vial. R. Dross's companion, Henry, consumed the outputs. Visible confusion from Researcher Dross. **Input:** 1 Filament fur vial. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Carbon fibre needles. Made from the carbon in the filaments and glass from the vial. **Input:** 1 Filament fur vial. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Hexagonal modification. Acceleration of filament growth. Module destroyed after reported nausea from Researcher Dross. **Input:** 1 Filament fur vial. **Setting:** Very fine **Output:** A glass orb, that exploded into needles upon output opening. Minor injuries sustained to R. Dross. //Note: I'll be in the medical wing for a while. I'm not testing until I get out of here. -Researcher A. Dross.// ------ **Test 914-0766** **Name:** Doctor Ravensworth **Date:** 10/05/2019 **Total Items:** One stuffed animal in the shape of a penguin, one copy of Dr. Ravensworth's "Tesla's Adventures", which is about a penguin exploring the universe, and 100 grams of metal. **Input:** One penguin, one copy, 100 grams of metal. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A small clockwork metal penguin, which immediately attacked Dr. Ravensworth upon opening the door. This, however, was ineffective due to the size and mobility of the result being extremely poor. //Note: That did not go as well as I thought it would. - Dr. Ravensworth// ------ **Test 914-0767** **Name:** Researcher Carter W. **Date:** 11/05/2019 **Total Items Used**: 5 Magic: The Gathering Forest cards **Input**: 1 card **Setting**: Rough **Output**: Shreds of colored paperboard **Input**: 1 card **Setting**: Coarse **Output**: Squares of white paperboard, each 1/8 sq. inches, a pool of green ink, and a pool of black ink. **Input**: 1 card **Setting**: 1:1 **Output**: One MTG Plains card **Input**: 1 card **Setting**: Fine **Output**: Same as input, but with an anomalous effect that causes vegetation to grow on whatever surface it is touching, as well as speeding the growth of any vegetation it touches. The card has been placed in a locked box and is in Low-Level Anomalous Item containment. //Note: Perhaps we could use it to speed growth of [[[scp-143 | 143]]]? - Researcher Carter W.// //Note: Sure Carter, there's no possible way that that can go catastrophically wrong. It stays in Anomalous Item storage. - Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0768** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 12/05/2019 **Total Items:** 3 globes. //Note: Given how my mom means the world to me, I thought this would be an appropriate test to run on Mother's Day. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** 1 globe. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A scale model of the planet Jupiter, same size as the input. **Input:** 1 globe. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A globe model of an initially unidentified planet. Analysis showed it to be a model of Earth with the North and South Poles, as well as the heights above/below sea level of most of the planet, inverted; for example, the Himalayas are the deepest part of the planet's oceans, while the Mariana Trench is now a towering mountain range. //Note: I did a little more research on this, and a hunch I had checked out. Apparently the elevations on this "Htrae" invert at a point nearly 1080 meters below sea level, which would be right about the halfway point between the bottom of the Challenger Deep and the peak of Mt. Everest. Kinda neat, really. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** 1 globe. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A plastic/metal bust of Gary Oldman in his titular role from the 1992 movie "Dracula." //Note: Oh good lord... did 914 just make a Smashing Pumpkins reference? -Prof. Wren// ----- **Test 914-0769** **Name:** Researcher Jane Cho **Date:** 12/05/2019 **Total Items:** 0.1kg arkose sandstone, 0.1kg shale, 0.1kg limestone, 0.1kg chert, 0.1kg laterite, 0.1kg anthracite coal //Note: I'm putting the same things in again, but this time on Very Fine. I’m only putting in one tenth of what I put in last time because it might get dangerous. Also, I’m having D-99823 take care of the output, just in case. - Jane Cho// **Input:** Arkose sandstone **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A roughly octahedral mass of arkose sandstone that is capable of vocalization. The sandstone proceeded to engage in a conversation (recorded below) with D-99823 before being taken out of the output booth by security personnel. > [BEGIN LOG] > > **Sandstone:** Hello! > > **D-99823:** Aah! > > **Sandstone:** I’m Sandy! > > **D-99823:** Oh. (To security guards) It’s a talking rock. I think it’s safe. > > **Sandstone:** I come from the planet of SAND! > > **D-99823:** Uh… Actually, you were made by this clockwork machine. > > **Sandstone:** I’m Sandy! > > **D-99823:** Huh? > > **Sandstone:** I come from the planet of SAND! > > //D-99823 pauses for a few seconds, and then proceeds to take the object out of the output booth.// > > **Sandstone:** (At 110 decibels) SAND! > > //D-99823 became stunned by this and was unable to take the object out of the output booth. Security staff was able to remove the object successfully via use of earplugs. Object currently in storage.// > > [END LOG] //Note: Apparently, the 4 phrases it vocalized during the incident are the only things it can say. Object presumed to be not sentient. - Jane Cho// **Input:** Shale **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A rectangular object with a small circular cavity on one side and a similar sized circular protrusion on its top. Touching the circular protrusion causes light to be emitted from the cavity. When projected onto a canvas, it shows real-time footage of shale being formed. **Input:** Limestone **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** The same limestone, however with the words “SUPER LIMESTONE” engraved onto it. All subjects viewing it will be persuaded that it is superior to all other limestone, and will praise it for being high-quality. **Input:** Chert **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A levitating toroid made of silica. When in the vicinity of a rock composed of >90% silica, the object will emit a beam of light and attempt to destroy it. All attempts are unsuccessful. //Note: Thank goodness I wasn't in there when it came out of the output booth. That thing shot at my phone while being carried away because of the amethyst bunny keychain. - Jane Cho// **Input:** Laterite **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A small ruby on a dark red pedestal. Upon being removed from the pedestal, the ruby emitted a bright flash of light, and caused all personnel on-site to compliment Intern Lunar whenever they were in his vicinity. This effect lasted for 5 hours. //Note: I have a feeling that I’ve seen this one before. Also, I duct-taped the ruby to the pedestal and put it in a box so it doesn’t activate again. - Jane Cho// //Note: Those that gave me gifts can take them back now if you want. I don't think I should have a Level 3 access card. -Intern Lunar// **Input:** Anthracite coal **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Very fine coal powder //Note: Wait, what? - Jane Cho// //Note: 914 going literal, huh? The world has gone mad. - Veritas// ----- [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 077X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 077X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0770** **Name:** Dr. Cleveland **Date:** 13/05/2019 **Total Items:** One copy of //Ancillary Justice// by Ann Leckie **Input:** //Ancillary Justice// **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** What appears to be a novel of the name //Broken Masquerade// by a Helmut Kumnick, detailing a fictionalized version of a world where the SCP Foundation, the Global Occult Coalition, the Serpent's Hand, and the Chaos Insurgency collapsed in the mid-2030s due to war. The protagonist, a jaded Colonel in the United States Army, was part of the Truth Seeker Union, seeking to reveal the circumstances which led to the destruction of Astrakhan, Usinsk, Lublin, Lansing, Bowling Green, and Plainfield on [REDACTED]. Notable appearances include SCP-053, SCP-682 (both living in an isolated part of Saskatchewan), SCP-2599 (seeking asylum in Strasbourg, France) SCP-2733 (which the protagonist used to summon his dead sister to assist him on his truth finding path), and both SCP-1173 and SCP-4036 (the latter of which, as the Adytite Republic of Polynesia, has become the 201th United Nations member, after Kosovo, New Caledonia, Scotland, Palestine, Artsakh, and Northern Cyprus). The book showed no anomalous properties other than its cover, which occasionally animates. //Note: I think I heard of this name in a very different context, in the obscure circle of "Natural Body Magic". I can't say if that's coincidence, given that this Helmut is also from Germany. On the other hand, I will have it in the Break Room for now. - Dr. Cleveland// ------ **Test 914-0771** **Name:** Dr. Ravensworth **Date:** 13/05/2019 **Total Items:** 5 gummy bears **Input:** 1 gummy bear **Setting:** Rough **Output:** Several melted puddles of gelatin. **Input:** 1 gummy bear **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** A gummy bear cut up into multiple pieces. **Input:** 1 gummy bear **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 1 gummy worm, with the same mass as the original bear. //Note: These next two results I will be sending in a D-class to retrieve, in case 914 tries to poison me. - Dr. Ravensworth// **Input:** 1 gummy bear **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 1 seemingly normal gummy bear. Contains a substance that induces severe vomiting and diarrhea in whoever eats it. **Input:** 1 gummy bear **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** An animate gummy bear that, as soon as the door was opened, jumped into the mouth of the D-class. The bear was not poisonous, and the D-class remarked that it was the best candy he had ever tasted. He also reportedly smelled like cherry for the next four hours. //Note: Huh. I guess not everything from 914 is bad after all. - Dr. Ravensworth// ----- **Test 914-0772** **Name:** Assistant Researcher Jack Dickie, D-51215 **Date:** 14/05/2019 **Total Items:** One antique Elizabethan side chair. One antique French armoire. One Cracked Mug, with a picture of a pug on the side. //Note: I found the furniture in the basement of my old family home. My mother asked me to get rid of it, so I decided to collect some data, from 914, rather than toss them out.// **Input:** One antique Elizabethan side chair **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One office swivel chair. All components of the chair are made of wood, the wheels do not move, nor does it swivel. D-51215 sat on the chair, with no other anomalous effects. //Note: It might be stationary, but it's at least a little comfier than it was before.// **Input:** One antique French armoire **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Two dozen 40 cm ''worms'', comprised entirely of wood. Said worms resemble typical earthworms, with small round heads, found on common furniture beetles. One large seamless wooden box, with 'Worm Food' carved into the sides of the box. The interior was filled with several kilograms of sawdust. D-51215 was instructed to feed the worms, some sawdust. D-51315 received a few splinters in his right hand, from feeding the worms. But was otherwise unharmed. //Note: Woodworms. Good one, SCP-914. I suspect their may have been dormant larva deep in the wood. I'll be sure to spray pesticides next time I run any tests using old furniture. The worms have been safely contained in a glass terrarium and moved for future study and potential SCP classification. With the sawdust as their primary food source. Hopefully they don't develop into something nastier.// **Input:** One cracked mug. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One mug is now in the shape of a pug's head. The paint used to portray the picture of a pug, now stretched out across the mug, in a faint brown. With the nose and ears being dark brown. And a small white porcelain tongue sits inside the mug. D-51215 moved to pick it up, with his left hand, which prompted the mug to growl aggressively. Assistant Researcher Jack Dickie moved in to attempt retrieval and was greeted with excited barking from the mug. //Note: The mug's kind of difficult to drink out of now, when he's barking. The liquid sloshes inside him. I'm gonna keep him as a pencil holder instead. At least he seems to like me, now I just have to name him.// //Note: Great, just turn my testing area into an anomalous pet factory. When these things decide to revolt and, I don't know, burn everyone's tongues simultaneously, don't come complaining to me. - Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0773** **Name:** Researcher Jane Cho **Date:** 14/05/2019 **Total Items:** 1kg “snowflake” obsidian **Input:** Snowflake obsidian **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A single large hemispherical mass of snowflake obsidian. The white pattern on its surface is animate, and visually resembles TV static. When a human subject is in the vicinity of the object, they will have an auditory hallucination of certain phrases being spoken in their own voice, repeating the same segments with long pauses in between. The content of the phrases change depending on the subject’s distance from the object, however it has been shown to be roughly consistent between different subjects. A sample of some of the repeated segments of the spoken content has been recorded below. > **Distance: 6m** > ----- > [inconsistent] tree [inconsistent] [inconsistent] wrong [inconsistent] world keep in [inconsistent] bird [inconsistent] [inconsistent] [inconsistent] while [inconsistent] save [inconsistent] [inconsistent] here > **Distance: 3.5m** > //Note: Line breaks were added for brevity.// > ----- > the greater > [inconsistent] > Naturally, we would have been better off if > the times we were together. Yes. > But she’s a toy builder now. We can’t use > [inconsistent] > is to be contained within a five meter by > We are beating a dead horse, Maria. > a breach in security caused a > [inconsistent] > [inconsistent] > The AUTOICON-02 Ethics Computational Engine is the first > [inconsistent] > We speak in English > but on the brighter side, we never > **Distance :1.2m** > //Note: Line breaks were added for brevity.// > ----- > You’ve heard the stories. You know some people want us dead. Now let me tell > > and protect the world from what it might become. After the death of the first Administrator, the > > Fear is neither an enemy nor an ally, for > > clockworks. It wasn’t just regular clockworks, however. It > > what could be done. There was no way to bring it back to how it was before. > > They want us dead, and they’re one of us. > > a snow globe, dedicated to the > > Tell me a story. Anything. > > We are a group of some of the most intelligent, skilled, and loyal individuals working for the > > I want to live again > > We die in the dark > **Distance: 0.4m** > //Note: Line breaks were added for brevity.// > ----- > Are we truly one of them? > We were afraid. > We feared the very things we lived for. > And that fear made us lesser that what we could have become. > > We built a world around us. > A world without the monsters that hurt us. > A world without the people who hated us. > We built a world where we could be free. > > And while we huddled around our toys, fearful of those things that come from outside, we started to turn away from what we truly were. > While they lived in the dark, we died in the light. > And we grew complacent. > > We cannot stay this way. > Even in this little world we built around ourselves, we must never forget we are part of something greater. > Remember who we were, and who we have to be. > We secure. > We contain. > We protect. > > The incinerator is full. Don’t empty it. //Note: What the [EXPLETIVE]? - Jane Cho// //Note: Item incinerated due to security concerns. - Security Chief Sedna// //Note: Get rid of the ashes as well. - Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0774** **Name:** Researcher Simonson **Date:** 14/05/2019 **Total items:** A list of cardinal numbers up to 1000. **Input:** List of numbers. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** The same list, except the numbers 4, 5, 53, 98, 125, 155, 446, 511, 521, 533, 620, 736, 801 and 874 have check marks next to them. The significance of these numbers is unknown. **Input:** Copy of previous output. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A set of coordinates (██.████████, ██.████████) located just off the west coast of Turkey. Nothing of importance has been found at this location. **Input:** Copy of previous output. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** An extremely complex diagram comprised of over fifty thousand tiny, intersecting polygons. Every vertex is labeled with a letter and a four-digit number. The measures of some angles and the lengths of some sides are given. The line segment |Y,,6438,,K,,0552,,| is labeled "x". Although analysis has shown there is enough information to solve for x, attempts to do so are ongoing. ----- **Test 914-0775** **Name:** Researcher Z. Larua **Date:** 15/05/2019 **Total Items:** 2 cast iron pans, 2 stainless steel lug-nuts **Input:** 1 pan, 1 lug-nut **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A cast iron pot with a stainless steel coating. Displays the anomalous property of heating whatever is within the pot perfectly evenly. Liquids are brought to a boil almost instantly and solids are melted/cooked all the way through. Heat can also be applied to the pot from any direction (except the open top) and will be distributed evenly throughout. Personnel are NOT to place their hands or any part of their body within the pot when there is any source of heat placed on it. //Note: While this cookware is very effective at its purpose, it is also very easy to burn food with it due to its efficiency. Browning and deep-frying food is also impossible due to the complete and thorough cooking of the object. -Larua// **Input:** 1 pan, 1 lug-nut **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A blackened lug-nut. When placed on a metallic surface, the lug-nut affixes itself to the spot and siphons all heat within a 90cm diameter range to the spot directly under the lug-nut. Under the lug-nut the temperature was shown to be multiplied exponentially. At room temperature this dramatic increase instantly melted most metals that were tested. When removing the lug-nut, the handler must only touch the exterior or suffer severe burns should they touch the interior. ----------------- **Test 914-0776** **Name:** Researcher A. Dross **Date:** 15/05/2019 **Total items:** IV bag, Medical supplies, Multipurpose vitamins, Jacket module. //Note: Back from the hospital wing, trying to not cause damage this test. Fingers crossed that a rapid regeneration module comes out of this. Probably won't happen. -R Dross.// **Input:** Aforementioned items. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** --Unchanged jacket module.-- When picked up by Researcher Dross, said module opened, producing a vapor that anesthetized those in the vicinity. The vapor also contained various vitamins and nutrients, which were absorbed by cells whose ADN matched human regeneration cells’ ADN, allowing them to multiply and heal minor lacerations and bruising faster. Object handed over to medical personnel. //Note: Not quite what I was looking for, but OK. -Dross// ------ **Test 914-0777** **Name:** Researcher Darby **Date:** 15/05/2019 **Total Items:** 511 teddy bears //Note: My tea tasted really fishy this morning, so when I’m done with this I’m going to the infirmary. Luckily I found five-hundred eleven teddy bears so I have something to experiment with. - Researcher Darby// **Input:** One hundred teddy bears **Setting:** Rough **Output:** A pile of cotton fluff and ripped fur completely filling the output booth. //Note: A teddy bear holds a surprising amount of fluff inside - Researcher Darby// **Input:** One hundred teddy bears **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** Neatly separated piles of Cotton, folded sheets of fur, and plastic components. //Note: That pile of eyes gave me the creeps, I think it was watching me - Researcher Darby// **Input:** One hundred teddy bears **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Fifty pairs of stuffed toys in many different species such as, Lions, Tigers, Bears, Penguins, Elephants, Pigeons, Deer, Moose, Dogs, Humans, and many more. //Note: Its like Noah's Ark in here, permission to keep a penguin, Dr. Veritas? - Researcher Darby// //Note: Fine. - Veritas// **Input:** One hundred teddy bears **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One hundred polar bear stuffed animals, noticeably cleaner and of finer make than the input. //Note: I was not expecting something like that. I would have expected a reaction like that on a setting such as 1:1 - Researcher Darby// **Input:** One hundred teddy bears **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** --Wall of Fur-- --A giant humanoid bear that left the output booth and proceeded to hug Researcher Darby into unconsciousness-- A large parasitic and animated fursuit that forcibly knocks potential hosts unconscious and puts itself on them. Replaces Hosts skin within 24 hours and forcibly overwrites host consciousness within 12 hours. Researcher Darby was recovered successfully and the suit was sent for examination, Researcher Darby has requested that he be given amnesiacs to forget the event. //Note: I am never going to do tests with anything fur related again and am giving the remaining 11 Bears to other personnel starting with Prof. Wren. - Researcher Darby// //Note: Darby how, just how, did this manage to occur. - Researcher Dross.// //Note: Where on earth did you find five hundred eleven teddy bears? - Dr. Hort// //Note: I was just lucky I guess - Researcher Darby// //Note: Well, that sounded like it was supposed to be an explanation. - Veritas// ------ **Test 914-0778** **Name:** Dr. Nukea **Date:** 15/05/2019 **Total items:** One standard issue Foundation pen //Note: After extensive testing on the Dr. Nukea that was regenerated it was determined that he is in fact the same Dr. Nukea as before his accident. This test is just to re-familiarize Dr. Nukea with SCP-914.// **Input:** One standard issue Foundation pen **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One empty foundation pen with the words "OH GOD NO" written in ink on the wall. //Note: Wait really? OMG Welcome back Nukea I missed you! - Researcher Darby// //Note: Welcome back Nukea! - Prof. Wren// //Note: Oh God no? More like Oh God yes here. Welcome back to the family! - Dr. Cleveland// //Note: Welcome back Nukea! I’m glad that one of my favorite staff members is back in the land of the living! -Dr. Clockworks// //Note: Thank God we were starting to run out of copies of 17 again (don't ask). - Dr. Calloway// //Note: Is this guy the reason why everyone was crying when I got here? In that case, welcome back Nukea! - Dr. Hort// //Note: I baked you a cake! It has your favorite scene in 17 again iced on top! -Dr. Mensa// ----------------------------------------- **Test 914-0779** **Name:** Researcher Jane Cho **Date:** 15/05/2019 **Total Items:** 300g olivine **Input:** 100g Olivine **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A tetrahedron made of olivine. //Note: I see this as an improvement. - Jane Cho// **Input:**100g Olivine **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A large cube of webbed olivine crystals in a diamond cubic truss structure. **Input:** 100g Olivine **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Three spherical masses of olivine hovering in the air. Upon exiting the output booth, the spheres proceeded to attempt to destroy anything in its vicinity composed of >50% iron and/or magnesium. Objects were successfully contained by security staff while they were attempting to damage the ceiling lights. ----- [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 078X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 078X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0780** //Note: The following test was authorized after a formal request was put in from the kitchen crew.// **Name:** Asst. Chef Barkley **Date:** 15/05/2019 **Total items:** Five 20kg bags of various spices. //Note: We're seeing if maybe we can use this to liven up the menu choices a bit, seeing as our site doesn't have an infinite pizza box like some locations. -Barkley// //Note: They don't actually use it there. It's an SCP so eating from it for no reason is against the rules. - Jane Cho// //Note: Oh yeah, using the machine in an attempt to create better condiments, this cannot possibly go wrong. - Veritas// **Input:** 20kg bag of cinnamon. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A 1kg statue of the Egyptian sun deity ''Amon'', made entirely of cinnamon, wearing clothes and jewelry made from the bag. The statue possesses an anomalous quality wherein looking into its eyes compels the viewer to commit some variety of immoral acts. //Note: Well that wasn't anything close to what I was hoping for. Maybe the next one will do something better? -Barkley// **Input:** 20kg bag of oregano. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Five 4kg bags of oregano. No anomalous qualities or other dangers detected. Taste-testing by D-class revealed each cube to have a different taste to them. //Note: Huh. Interesting, but not sure how well these will be received. -Barkley// **Input:** 20kg bag of thyme. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** None. Testing halted for 20 minutes while attempting to assess what happened to the input. //Note: Oh man, I'm not gonna get in trouble, am I? -Barkley// **Input:** 20kg bag of sea salt **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A 20kg bag of a salt-like crystalline powder and a 20kg bag of thyme, matching the input from the previous experiment. The salt-like product was confirmed to be sea salt, but with an intensely stronger flavor. D-class was ordered to stop consuming the salt but refused; D-class terminated moments later after rapidly going through dehydration and desiccation. //Note: Asst. Chef Barkley was escorted to medical for psychological screening and administration of amnestics. Remaining item and bags of oregano were returned to the kitchen staff.// //Note: Can I still punish him for something he can't remember? - Veritas// //Note: I'll talk for the main Chef for you, Lucius. Somehow, I think I'll be able to get the message across at a lower volume. - Site Director Hackett// ----- **Test 914-0781** **Name:** Assistant Researcher Erickson **Date:** 15/05/2019 **Total Items:** 1 Kilogram of white wax. **Input:** 1 Kilogram of wax. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Animate wax figurine, resembling Dr. Beiderman. Figurine destroyed by site security. //Note: Site security reprimanded for unauthorized destruction of a possibly sentient anomalous artifact. - Security Chief Sedna// ----- **Test 914-0782** **Name:** Researcher Jane Cho **Date:** 15/05/2019 **Total Items:** 5 synthetic diamond blades **Input:** 1 blade **Setting:** Rough **Output:** Diamond dust **Input:** 1 blade **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** 12 identical miniature diamond blades **Input:** 1 blade **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A small toothed gear made of diamond. //Note: It’s cute! - Jane Cho// **Input:** 1 blade **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A diamond solid that appears to be able to pass through other diamonds, albeit without actually making contact with them. Notably, other materials resist the diamond like normal. **Input:** 1 blade **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A metablade --shaped like a metablade-- that can only cut through other blades. Also, attempts to directly describe said blade only results in the word ‘metablade’. ----- **Test 914-0783** **Name:** Researcher Simonson **Date:** 15/05/2019 **Total items:** A glass of water. **Input:** Glass of water. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Object acquired an anomalous property that causes it to flip upside-down when held over electronics. //Note: It detected my phone through my [EXPLETIVE] pocket... -Researcher Simonson// ------ **Test 914-0784** **Name:** Dr. Andrew Mensa **Date:** 15/05/2019 **Total Items:** --5-- 4 ham and cheese sandwiches on white bread **Input:** 1 sandwich **Setting:** Rough **Output:** A mashed pile of ham, cheese and bread. //Note: The D-class I'm working with just ate one of the sandwiches so I'm going to skip coarse. -Dr. Mensa// **Input:** 1 sandwich **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 1 “peanut butter and jelly” sandwich //Note: The “peanut butter and jelly” is actually melted ham and cheese. I'm skipping my lunch break today. -Dr. Mensa// **Input:** 1 sandwich **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A sculpture of a witch in a desert. Sculpture made out of compressed ham and cheese **Input:** 1 sandwich **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** 1 sandwich that when eaten gives intense and deep knowledge of the history of cheese, along with causing nosebleeds. Testing halted due to risk of brain damage. //Note: Did you know that cheese was created over 4,000 years ago by accident? - D-8372// ----- **Test 914-0785** **Name:** Researcher Lombardi **Date:** 15/05/2019 **Total Items:** One wooden door with attached frame, one remote exploration drone. **Input:** Wooden door with attached frame **Setting:** Very fine **Output:** One wooden door with attached frame. Resulting door is square, thinner, and with a much larger surface area. Object emerged diagonally to fit within the output booth. The door reveals a spatial anomaly when opened. From the front a darkened, metallic enclosure can be made out. When viewed from behind no anomaly is seen. //Note: Obviously light can reach us from the other side of the anomaly, but that is no guarantee that solid objects will be able to travel both ways. We are going to send in an exploration drone to map out the area and give us some GPS coordinates of its location. - Lombardi// **Input:** One remote exploration drone //Note: We have determined that the spatial anomaly leads to the input booth of 914. - Lombardi// **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A spherical object resembling a cybernetic eye. Object is rough 30 centimeters in diameter. Both sides of the device are equipped with touch interfaces in the shape of stylized hand-prints. Testing has revealed the device grants the operator the ability to observe a volume of space centered around their location, through all sensory means. Initial tests recorded below. > > [BEGIN LOG] > > **Lombardi:** D-87273, please pick up the object in front of you. > > //D-87273 picks up the cybernetic eye, placing her hands on the touch interface in the process.// > > **D-87273:** Woah. I can see the entire room. > > **Lombardi:** Please elaborate. > > **D-87273:** It's like I can see and hear everything at once and it's not overwhelming - I'm inside and outside of the room at the same time. I am everywhere. Like - all of you are clothed but I see your bodies as well. I can even see inside them. Brains, guts, everything. > > **Lombardi:** Are you able to control where your vision extends? > > **D-87273:** Yeah, it's like the device is responding to my thoughts. I bet I could see this entire building if I wanted to. > > **Lombardi:** I //strongly// advise you not to- > > //D-87273 suddenly shrieks and collapses, presumably from observing every memetic and cognitohazard contained within site-19 simultaneously. D-class slowly rises, babbling and showing signs of rapid body mutation. On-site security quickly terminate and incinerate subject.// > > [END LOG] > //Note: The eye has been confiscated and moved to anomalous item storage. As for the remote-input door, we're keeping that contained until we determine if its utility outweighs the inherent risk, and if we would even able to destroy it without damaging 914. - Lombardi// //Note: God damn it, Lombardi, I'm already up to my neck in janitorial complaints and the Security Chief calling me daily, you just **had** to add the memetic containment department to that list as well. - Veritas// //Note: I see a mandatory training seminar for "Effective management of D-class" has been added to my calendar. Point taken. - Lombardi// ----- **Test 914-0786** **Name:** Dr. Ravensworth **Date:** 15/05/2019 **Total Items:** 3 Macbook Pro laptops. **Input:** 1 Macbook Pro **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 1 Surface Pro Laptop **Input:** 1 Macbook Pro **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A Macbook Pro with more processing power. However, it has a much shorter battery life, and uses a "USB-J" charging cable, which does not exist. **Input:** 1 Macbook Pro **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One "Macbook Air", a computer which immediately sprouted wings and flew out of the output booth. It crashed into the reinforced testing area wall and was destroyed immediately. ----- **Test 914-0787** **Name:** Dr. Hort **Date:** 15/05/2019 **Total Items:** 10 grams of a gold/palladium alloy. //Note: Let's see if 914 can separate this alloy// **Input:** 10 grams of a gold/palladium alloy. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** Metallic dust. The small grains were still composed of mixed gold and palladium. //Note: This cost me almost €1.000 and now 914 has mixed it with the dust in the output booth. Great. - Dr. Hort// ----- **Test 914-0788** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 15/05/2019 **Total Items:** A black 1987 Pontiac Firebird, crushed. //Note: The wreck was hauled in on a flatbed trailer that was not used for the test.// //Note: I got this from a local scrapyard for $200. I want to see if 914 can straighten it back out. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** The crushed car. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** The parts of the car, separated out. Each part is still crushed beyond recognition, in the exact same fashion as before. //Note: I was anticipating the disassembly, since that's what Coarse tends to do. I was really hoping it would straighten the pieces out in the process, though, and yet somehow it separates them without even altering the condition they're in. It's equal parts fascinating and disappointing. -Prof. Wren// //Note: The scrap was returned to the trailer and hauled away to be smelted. Prof. Wren's request for reimbursement on the test was denied. - Veritas// ------ **Test 914-0789** **Name:** Researcher Graymont **Date:** 17/05/2019 **Total Items:** 5 pairs of nail clippers //Note: I'm new here. Going to start small to prevent any damages to personnel. - Graymont// **Input**: 1 Pair of nail clippers **Setting**: Rough **Output**: A hunk of stainless steel and aluminum, same weight as nail clippers. //Note: I read the logs and expected this, but it makes me wonder how. - Graymont// **Input**: 1 pair of nail clippers **Setting**: Coarse **Output**: Fully disassembled nail clippers. **Input**: 1 pair of nail clippers **Setting**: 1:1 **Output**: Tweezers of equal mass to nail clippers. **Input**: 1 pair of nail Clippers **Setting**: Fine **Output**: One pair of nail clippers that are seemingly normal. When used they trim all nails on a person, including toenails, to perfect length. Causes shorter nails to grow to perfect length. //Note: This could be useful. We can keep the outputs?// **Input**: 1 pair of nail clippers **Setting**: Very Fine **Output**: An orb that looks to be made of the same stainless steel of the clippers. Upon contact, a fingertip is removed from the one who made contact without any physical harm. Object incinerated upon request of Researcher Graymont. //Note: And this is why I don't take responsibility for items kept. - Veritas// ----- [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 079X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 079X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0790** **Name:** Dr. Hort **Date:** 17/05/2019 **Total Items:** 3 feathers, extracted from ''Reepicheep''. //Note: After testing with the metalloid compound Reepicheep is made of, I decided to name the material ''reepitite''.// **Input:** One feather. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** 6 different piles of boron, silicon, germanium, arsenic, antimony and tellurium. **Input:** One feather. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Various filaments resembling human hair, made of reepitite. **Input:** One feather. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A black knife, made of reepitite. The knife is stronger than most standard kitchen knifes, but is unusable due to its small proportions. -------------- //Note: After hearing about prior experiments involving 914 producing potentially monatizeable products, the Site-19 Head of Funding, Mrs. Sally █████, ordered us to see if we can replicate previous results.// **Test 914-0791** **Name:** Site-19 Accountants Lawrence and Dan. **Date:** 17/05/2019 **Total items:** One post-it note, reading: //"Make us something useful, 914."//,one set of five 5 kilogram cubes, each made out of steel, chromium, copper, silicon and gold respectively, 5 plastic boxes containing 10 kilograms of PCBs, 5 tanks of ██-Brand printer ink, one of A4 paper. **Input:** Above mentioned **Setting:** --1:1-- Very Fine, unintentionally turned past 1:1. **Output:** A rectangular device with a single red switch and a commercial printer. Upon the activation of said switch, the Site administration printing press stopped functioning. The printer printed a cognitohazardous symbol that caused those affected to slap any Foundation accountants they see, telling them to //"Do their own jobs."// //Note: Printer and switch incinerated, cognitohazard ceased. Testing licenses revoked. - Veritas// ------ **Test 914-0792** **Name:** Dr. Lucius Veritas. **Date:** 17/05/2019 **Total Items:** Photographs of multiple employees. **Input:** Photograph of Dr. Veritas. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Photograph of Dr. Veritas, who is spinning multiple plates. //Note: Yeah, that's how it feels sometimes. - Veritas// **Input:** Photograph or Intern Lunar. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Photograph of Intern Lunar, positioned on a sitting position on the floor, surrounded by colourful mugs. Lunar is depicted as being delighted. Jeff can be seen in the background somewhat obscured by what looks like a plant made of kazoos in a pot with a OWO face on it. //Note: Seems normal. - Veritas// //Note: I don't have that many mugs... -Intern Lunar// **Input:** Photograph of Dr. Nukea. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Photograph of Dr. Nukea, depicted with a number ''17'' branded on his forehead. //Note: Yikes. - Veritas// **Input:** Photograph of Professor Wren. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Photograph of Professor Wren. She appears to be playing an incredibly complex instrument, and the colours are more intense than in the original photo. A soft tune, identified later as an instrumental rendition of Thomas Dolby's "She Blinded Me with Science," is produced from the photograph when it is being touched. **Input:** Photograph of Researcher Calloway. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Identical photograph, shredded into 34 crude pieces. **Input:** Photograph of Dr. Cleveland **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Photograph of Dr. Cleveland writing a novel. Several Marvel comic issues were seen scattered on the table, and the colour contrast is roughly 5 percent stronger than that in the original. **Input:** Photograph of Dr. Mensa **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Identical photograph, Dr. Mensa has very pronounced dark circles under his eyes. //Note: Just looking at this photo makes me tired -Dr. Mensa// **Input:** Photograph of Researcher Dross **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Photograph of Researcher Dross with his typical visor and jacket on, fiddling with a machine. A box of modules is nearby. The photograph is significantly darker. **Input:** Photograph of Researcher Darby **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Identical photograph, on fire. Rapidly removed and stamped out by Dr. Veritas. ----- **Test 914-0793** **Name:** Dr. Hort **Date:** 17/05/2019 **Total items:** 150 cl of distilled water, three bottles. **Input:** Bottle containing 50 cl of water. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** Several droplets of water spread along the floor of the output booth, resembling the Foundation logo. Shreds of plastic are placed in the centre. **Input:** Bottle containing 50 cl of water. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One ice cube, covered by plastic. The plastic is slightly warmer than before. **Input:** Bottle containing 50 cl of water. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Unchanged bottle of water. The capillarity of the water seems to have increased. //Note: Keep messing with the laws of physics and I'll mess with your gears, 914. - Dr. Hort// //Note: Threatening inanimate objects is usually a bad sign, Hort. - Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0794** **Name:** Assistant Researcher Jack Dickie, D-51215, D-39992 **Date:** 17/05/2019 **Total Items:** Forty eight 330ml cans of Barr's Irn Bru //Note: My goal with this test, is to see how SCP-914 will alter the flavour of this particular soft drink. I'm bringing D-51215 and D-39992 to taste test the results. Prior to testing, both D-Class were given samples of Irn Bru to taste test beforehand.// **Input:** Twelve 330ml cans of Barr's Irn Bru **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Three Cans of 'Real' Irn Bru. D-39992 drank from the first can, and began to complain of stomach pain, shortly afterwards. D-39992 was taken to the medical wing, but expired before arriving. An autopsy revealed that D-39992's stomach and windpipe were ruptured by numerous small aluminium girders, that had expanded in their throat. //Note: It seems 914 took the old slogan. 'Made in Scotland from girders.' quite literally in this case. The aluminium girders explains the missing cans.// **Input:** Twelve 330ml cans of Barr's Irn Bru **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Twelve cans of Irn Bru, D-51215 was instructed to open one can, and consume the contents. Upon being opened, the can's content escaped in the form of a orange cloud of carbonated gas. **Input:** Six of the Irn Bru cans, from the previous experiment **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Three gas grenades, made entirely from aluminium. The exterior of the grenades is labelled as "Barr's Edible Gas". D-51215 tested the grenades, which created a thick cloud of orange mist. When breathed in, the mist would condense on the tongue and form into carbonated Irn Bru. **Input:** Twelve 330ml cans of Barr's Irn Bru **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A spherical, translucent orange lump, carbonated gasses visibly bubble and move inside of it. The inside of the object sparkles, due to aluminium flakes floating inside of it. The object is the size of a Soccer Ball. It possess a clear membrane, that is permeable if pressed on, and becomes sticky. D-51215'S left hand sunk past this permeable layer and suffered chemical burns, while extracting his hand. //Note: I think 914 increased the acidity of the components that made up the Irn Bru. Not exactly the kind of improvement I was hoping for. We managed to extract it from the output booth, using a shovel. The Result was incinerated, I don't want to chance this thing developing a taste for human flesh or becoming the blob.// **Input:** Twelve 330ml cans of Barr's Irn Bru **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A 66.6cm tall aluminium statue of Mel Gibson, dressed as William Wallace from the movie, Braveheart. Standing on a small mound of girders. In one hand it held a smaller can of Irn Bru and in the other, it is holding a Scottish flag. The statue is coloured orange, white and blue, like the cans. The statue was held together by a sugary residue, made from the Irn Bru. It fell apart, shortly after being removed from the output box. **Input** The Result of the previous test **Setting** Rough **Result** A pile of scrap aluminium. An orange mist from and a small puddle of blue, white and orange paint. //Note: It deserved to be destroyed. That movie was an affront to historical accuracy. - Assistant Researcher Jack Dickie// ----- **Test 914-0795** **Name:** Dr. Matism **Date:** 17/05/2019 **Total Items:** 5 Maps of Australia **Input:** One map **Setting:** Rough **Output:** Shredded paper and ink smeared all over the output booth **Input:** One map **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** Folded paper and a pool of ink **Input:** One map **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One script of the song //Down Under// by Men At Work. **Input:** One map **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One map titled //Where are things that want to kill you?//, with all of Australia highlighted. **Input:** One map **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One origami button. When pressed, gravitational and magnetic fields within 200 meters of the button are reversed. Object incinerated. //Note: Since the cafeteria was in range and it was lunchtime, the entire ceiling is smeared with food. You get one guess who is cleaning that. - Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0796** **Name:** Assistant Researcher Erickson **Date:** 17/05/2019 **Total Items:** 1 Desert Eagle (Loaded). **Input:** 1 Desert Eagle. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** 1 Desert Eagle. --Changes unknown.-- Induces schizophrenia in the holder, at the expense of increased accuracy and stopping power. //Note: It tried to convince me to shoot Darby. Despite putting it in a secure storage locker 50 meters from where I am now, I can still hear it. I've barricaded myself in my room until the effect wears off. I left a slot under the door for people to slide in food and messages. - Assistant Researcher Erickson// //Note: Object incinerated. Someone let Assistant Researcher Imbecile out.- Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0797** **Name:** Researcher Jane Cho **Date:** 17/05/2019 **Total Items:** 3kg amethyst quartz **Input:** 1kg amethyst **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 1kg citrine **Input:** 1kg amethyst **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A large quartz crystal with a rotating handle, labeled "RAINBOWAMETHYST". Turning the handle will change the color of the crystal through unknown means. **Input:** 1kg amethyst **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A clockwork machine shaped like a boat, composed entirely of amethyst. Two rotating handles are present on each side(herefore referred to as L1(left front), L2(left rear), R1(right front), R2(right rear) by their relative positions). L1 and R2 can only be rotated counterclockwise, and L2 and R1 can only be rotated clockwise. Rotating any handle individually does not result in anomalous behavior. However, when two or more handles are rotated simultaneously, the machine will act in various anomalous ways. Behavior is recorded below. ||~ L1 ||~ L2 ||~ R1 ||~ R2 ||~ Behavior || ||= ##green|ON## ||= ##green|ON## ||= ##red|OFF## ||= ##red|OFF## || All subjects in contact with the object will be unable to see through their left eye for approximately 23 minutes. || ||= ##green|ON## ||= ##red|OFF## ||= ##green|ON## ||= ##red|OFF## || A focused beam of red(600~650nm) light will be emitted from the front of the object. The light is not powerful enough to significantly affect any surface. || ||= ##green|ON## ||= ##red|OFF## ||= ##red|OFF## ||= ##green|ON## || All subjects in contact with the object will simultaneously manifest a saline solution from their eyes. Analysis has shown that the solution is identical in composition to human tears, save for the lack of organic matter. || ||= ##red|OFF## ||= ##green|ON## ||= ##green|ON## ||= ##red|OFF## || [ Same as above ] || ||= ##red|OFF## ||= ##green|ON## ||= ##red|OFF## ||= ##green|ON## || Any solid surface in contact with the object's bottom will experience a strong acceleration in the direction facing away from the object. The strength of the acceleration will vary depending on the type of surface. || ||= ##red|OFF## ||= ##red|OFF## ||= ##green|ON## ||= ##green|ON## || All subjects in contact with the object will be unable to see through their right eye for approximately 23 minutes. || ||= ##green|ON## ||= ##green|ON## ||= ##green|ON## ||= ##red|OFF## || The song "Happy Birthday To You" will be played by the object. || ||= ##green|ON## ||= ##green|ON## ||= ##red|OFF## ||= ##green|ON## || All subjects in contact with the handles will simultaneously be led to believe that the R1 handle is made of olivine. Subjects that do not know the mineral will be unaffected. || ||= ##green|ON## ||= ##red|OFF## ||= ##green|ON## ||= ##green|ON## || The object will become slightly negatively charged, and the surroundings will become slightly positively charged. || ||= ##red|OFF## ||= ##green|ON## ||= ##green|ON## ||= ##green|ON## || The object will become slightly positively charged, and the surroundings will become slightly negatively charged. || ||= ##green|ON## ||= ##green|ON## ||= ##green|ON## ||= ##green|ON## || The object will switch color between violet and orange each time all handles are turned simultaneously. || ----- **Test 914-0798** **Name:** Researcher Jane Cho **Date:** 17/05/2019 **Total Items:** 1kg olivine **Input:** Olivine **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A spherical mass of olivine. When touched, the object will vibrate slightly, and a figure of various shape will be visible on the inside. The shape is different every time it is touched, and will disappear after approximately 5 seconds. The meaning of these are unknown. //Note: The last one kind of looked like an elephant. - Jane Cho// //Note: Thanks for the meaningful insight, Cho. - Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0799** **Name:** Researcher Jane Cho **Date:** 17/05/2019 **Total Items:** 3kg graphite **Input:** 1kg graphite **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 1kg diamond **Input:** 1kg graphite **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A dodecahedral frame made of graphite. Object collapsed under its own weight upon exiting the output chamber. **Input:** 1kg graphite **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** 2,000 unsharpened diamond pencils, composed of a graphite lead in Type IIa diamond casing of various colors. The lack of binding material in the lead makes the pencils too soft to use, even when sharpened. //Note: We actually sharpened one of them to find out. - Jane Cho// ------ [[/collapsible]] [/experiment-log-914/offset/7 Notice: Continued in 08XX ->]