Link to article: Experiment Log 914 - Part VIII.
[/experiment-log-914/offset/6 <- Notice: Continued from 07XX.] [[collapsible show="+ Show 080X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 080X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0800** **Name:** Researcher Jane Cho **Date:** 17/05/2019 **Total Items:** 1 iron-nickel rod topped with a peridot crystal (1kg total) from previous test, 1kg pallasite meteorite sample //Note: It was too small to use for anything. - Jane Cho// **Input:** Above **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A double bladed weapon, composed of two identical long iron-nickel blades protruding from both sides of a smooth cylindrical shaft made of olivine. Small peridot gemstones are embedded on both sides along the center line of each blade. The entire weapon is 3.2 meters in length. //Note: Great. Now it's even more useless. You can't even swing it because the other blade would hit you. - Jane Cho// ------ **Test 914-0801** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 17/05/2019 **Total Items:** 1 8.5" x 11" sheet of graph paper. //Note: This test it to see if repeated use of the 1:1 function can eventually cycle an item back to the original input. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** The graph paper. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** An 8.5" x 11" sheet of white paper with green hexagonal patterning on it. **Input:** Previous output. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 11 8.5" x 1" index cards with orange triangular patterning on them. **Input:** Previous output. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** An 8.5" x 11" sheet of white paper with the same triangular pattern, folded into a "paper football." **Input:** Previous output. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** The same paper football. Output booth did not open until Prof. Wren went in to investigate, at which time the object launched out of the booth and struck her in the face. On impact it burst into countless triangular pieces of confetti, coming apart along the orange lines. //Note: Ow. Well, I've got about half the paper down the front of my shirt now, so I think we're gonna have to terminate this test a little early. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** Previous input. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A crumpled 8.5" x 11" piece of graph paper. //Note: Okay then. I'm not sure if my saying this would be the last test influenced the outcome or not, so sadly I have to say this is inconclusive. -Prof. Wren// ------ **Test 914-0802** **Name:** Dr. Hort **Date:** 17/05/2019 **Total Items:** 3 Kg of chitin. **Input:** 1 Kg of chitin. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** Several pieces of chitin. //Note: The pieces seem to have been separated through torsion. 914 is strong. - Dr. Hort// **Input:** 1 Kg of chitin. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A thick sheet of chitin, with a pattern carved into it. The pattern matches those used by some ants to build anthills. **Input:** 1 Kg of chitin. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A large bee made of chitin. The bee animated and attempted to escape, but immediately crashed into the test chamber floor due to the wing's inability to keep the mass aloft. Result incinerated. ------ **Test 914-0803** **Name:** Researcher Graymont **Date:** 21/05/2019 **Total Items:** 5 1kg blocks of stainless steel //Note: My second experiment, going to just try stainless steel to maybe see what 914 does with a "stainless" material. - Graymont// **Input:** One block. **Setting:** Rough **Output:** A pile of damaged stainless steel **Input:** One block. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** Small cube of iron and smaller cube of chromium **Input:** One block. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Stainless steel sphere. Shown to be perfectly reflective, and completely resistant to any form of tarnishing. Attempts to make the surface less reflective were met with failure. //Note: The finish is amazingly reflective. Not even painting the sphere worked. I'm going to keep this in my office.// **Input:** One block. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output.**: A cube that can only be detected via electronic equipment. The cube can still be interacted with physically, but only if directly observed through camera feed. If eye contact with viewing equipment is broken, the cube will phase through the hand of any one holding it. Placed in anomalous storage. ------ **Test 914-0804** **Name:** Researcher White **Date:** 21/05/2019 **Total Items:** 15 syringes, each filled with Class-A Amnestics **Input:** 3 syringes of Class-A Amnestics **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 1 syringe of --an unidentified brown liquid.-- a liquid determined to have the same effect as SCP-1082. Saved for potential future use in interrogation. **Input:** 3 syringes of Class-A Amnestics **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 3 syringes containing a green liquid. 1 syringe's contents were injected into D-05942, who has displayed no effects for twenty-four days. **Input:** 3 syringes of Class-A Amnestics **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 3 syringes containing Class-W Mnestics. Remainder sent to [[[introductory-antimemetics | Site-41]]]. **Input:** 3 syringes of Class-A Amnestics **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 3 syringes of Class-C Amnestics **Input:** 3 syringes of Class-A Amnestics **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** 3 syringes containing a transparent liquid. 1 syringe was used on D-8273, who quickly lost all brain function. D-8273 expired six minutes later. After this, D-8273 body began to display a cognitohazardous effect causing all individuals who observe D-8273 to lose consciousness and later wake with no memory of the past eight hours. D-8273's corpse and the remaining two syringes have been placed in permanent storage. -------- **Test 914-0805** **Name:** Assistant Researcher Jack Dickie, D-51215, D-50999 **Date:** 21/05/2019 **Total Items:** Twenty four 330ml cans of Irn Bru, one can of cleaning polish, thirty red party balloons. **Input:** Twenty Four 330ml cans of Irn Bru **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** All twenty four cans were fused together and stacked into a tower. D-51215 attempt to remove the cans, which cause them to coil around his wrists. Moving in similar fashion to a constricting snake. The can at the top of the stack opened on its own, releasing a hiss of carbonated gas. Before showering D-51215 in Irn Bru. 7920ml of Irn Bru, the exact volume of liquid in the cans. Item became inert after drenching D-51215 in Irn Bru. **Input:** The Inert result of the previous test **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A Scottish Thistle, made of the aluminium cans. The flowering bud is orange and the steam and body of the plant is blue. The metallic roots are white. //Note: This will make a nice conversation piece. I'll keep it in my office. Note: Turns out it grows as well, I noticed it was growing a new bud. A few days after placing it in a plant pot.// **Input:** One can of cleaning polish, with a sticky note. The note instructing SCP-914 to give itself a polish. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** The interior of both the Input and Output booths, have been polished. The can of polish has also been flattened and polished into a highly reflective surface. The sticky note was unchanged and still stuck to the flattened can. D-51215 had difficulty gripping the item. Cutting his hands on the edges of the object. Object was eventually removed, using a pair of latex safety gloves to safely grip and lift it. //Note: It makes a surprisingly good mirror. I've placed the flattened can into a picture frame, so it can be used without cutting anyone's hands.// -------- **Test 914-0806** **Name:** Researcher Graymont **Date:** 23/05/2019 **Input:** 3 broken "Now That's What I Call Music" CDs //Note: Maybe something good can come from running broken CDs through 914 - Graymont// **Input:** One CD **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One fixed CD titled "Now That's What I Call Propaganda". Is a CD with propaganda speeches from all over history. Some even from ancient times. No anomalous properties discovered. **Input:** One CD **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A disc that weighs the same as the original, but is stretched to be around 400% wider, while reducing the thickness of the disc to what is measured to be a few atoms. Examined by electron microscope. Dents on the surface are formed by removal of single atoms across the disc, which can be read as data. Partial translation shows that it might contain every song ever recorded. Very difficult to handle, impossible to be read automatically due to the precision required and the disc being extremely fragile. -------- **Test 914-0807** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 23/05/2019 **Total Items:** 3 blank VHS tapes with pictures of various research personnel on the labels. //Note: We've seen some...I suppose "interesting" is the word?...results regarding photos. Let's see what happens here. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** A VHS tape labeled with a photo of Researcher Darby. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A VHS tape labeled "Foundation Daze: Seriously Crazy Pratfalls." Footage on the tape shows accidents throughout the SCP Foundation, including personnel injuries, containment breaches, and [REDACTED], all set to a laugh track and voiced over by Tom Bergeron. All depicted incidents confirmed to have never happened. //Note: Suggest making this available to everyone, because some of these were pretty funny. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** A VHS tape labeled with a photo of Dr. Veritas. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A VHS tape labeled "Dr. Veritas' Circus Calamitus." Footage on the tape shows various 914 research personnel performing multiple circus acts, such as Researcher Darby juggling knives on a tightrope, with Dr. Veritas visibly struggling in his role as ringmaster while trying to keep the acts from ending in disaster. Footage ends 23 minutes in with the circus tent bursting into flames. **Input:** A VHS tape labeled with a photo of Dr. Nukea. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A VHS tape labeled as a copy of 17 Again. Footage on the tape is a continuous 5-hour "TV Color Test" overlayed with the sound of the Emergency Broadcast System. //Note: What surprises me about this is exactly how __unsurprising__ it is. -Prof. Wren// -------- **Test 914-0808** **Name:** Researcher Lombardi **Date:** 23/05/2019 **Total Items:** 2 paper cups connected by string **Input:** 2 paper cups connected by string **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** What appears to be the handset and phone cable of a 1980's era analog telephone, constructed out of the paper, wax coating, and string. Object is extremely light and shows a higher-than-expected level of durability. Handset has no buttons, but successfully produced a dial tone when connected to a closed phone network. Careful inspection has revealed that the interior of the phone is not hollow as initially expected, instead containing a series of thin wax capsules. **Input:** Output of previous test **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A Dixie branded cellphone. Object has undergone extensive analysis from Foundation experts in cognitohazards, chemical and electronic manufacturing, physics, forensics and security. Like the handset, object shows durability and structural integrity matching that of traditional cellphones despite being constructed from paper, wax, and string fibers. The phone runs a variant of Android known as CupOS. The internal clock is set to the year 2039. Thanks to a massive quantity of cached internet files on the device, a Foundation forensics team has been able to piece together a likely history. The device originates from a timeline where a CK-class event has wiped out most metals, and made metalloids unsuitable for use in circuitry and electronics. In the chaos of such an event, The Foundation and other GOI banded together to form the 'Rebirth Initiative'. This organization became the dominant political force on the planet, restoring order and then rebuilding civilization. They partnered with the Dixie Corporation to reproduce modern technology with anomalously enhanced organic components - phones such as this being the culmination of 15+ years of development. The cause of the CK-event has been theorized to be a reaction between SCP-████ and another uncontained anomaly. Security procedures around SCP-████ have been heightened in light of this revelation. //Note: I've spent a month interacting with what seems like every department in the Foundation to gain understanding of a Dixie Cup cellphone. It's a feat of anomalous engineering - the inside is filled with wax crystals formed into photonic circuitry. Wren, our resident acoustics expert discovered the nearly invisible network of string fibers running between them. Apparently they store information, energy, and calculations in twist, tension, and vibration. She dubbed the system 'Unified on-board acoustic co-processing and memory'. This is the first time I've seen a logic behind that activity that could be dissected. Have I mentioned we had to do all the testing in a custom Faraday cage to ensure the phone wouldn't connect to a public network? It felt like arts and crafts day when we built the enclosure; the inside was traditional while a second layer was built from string and wax. - Lombardi// ------ **Test 914-0809** **Name:** Dr. Terren **Date:** 23/05/2019 **Total items:** One can of Pepsi and a can of Coca Cola **Input:** Above mentioned **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Two cans of A&W cream soda. The liquid inside of the cans has an anomalous effect of never staining any surface. The liquid stays on top of the surface & doesn’t impact the surroundings. //Note: I wish I could create more of these. They would be really useful. -Terren// ----- [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 081X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 081X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0810** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 23/05/2019 **Total Items:** 3 electronic fly swatters, designed to run on 4 AA batteries. //Note: For those who don't know, these are basically bug zappers shaped like tennis racquets. [REDACTED] was having a clearance sale on them, so I figured, why not? For all we know this might wind up creating something that can kill SCP-682 or something. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** A swatter. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** At first glance, an unaltered swatter. Switching it on, however, causes the head of the swatter to glow blue and produce a low hum, producing varied noises when swung or switched off. D-class testing the device expired after touching the head against orders and suffering a fatal electrical shock. Device instantly switched off afterwards due to the batteries being drained. //Note: What he thought was going to happen from touching what was effectively the blade of Maria Sharapova's lightsaber is beyond me, but I guess this is why we __have__ these guys. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** A swatter. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** The same swatter, but with the wires forming the "strike zone" of the head missing. Objects passing through the now-empty hoop while it is active are exposed to a localized electromagnetic pulse contained completely within the "strike zone." EMP is strong enough to completely destroy unprotected electronics. //Note: Well that's just useless. Okay, time to wrap this test up with a VF run. Heads up, everyone. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** A swatter. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A "swatter-drone" with 2 wings comprised of the head split down the middle (forming 2 full heads at half thickness) and attached to the handle. Drone hovers in the air via electromagnetic propulsion. Drone appears to hover in place, moving only when pushed, unless a flying insect enters within a vicinity of approx. 20 meters of it, at which point it will fly directly at the insect at a clocked air speed of 35 km/h and slapping its wings together, electrocuting the insect and reducing it to ash. Wings are otherwise safe to the touch. D-class suffered 3rd-degree facial burns during testing when a gnat landed on his nose. //Note: This will be handy if we can just get it to quit swatting bugs while they're on people. Sweet. -Prof. Wren// //Note: As of time of writing the drone has remained in air for 7 hours 43 minutes; means of the batteries producing the power for this not yet known, likely an effect of running the batteries through on the "Very Fine" setting.// //Note: Due to its method of levitation, the floor of SCP-914’s testing chamber is now heated to over 100 degrees Celsius. Object has been deactivated and put in anomalous storage. Personnel are prohibited from entering the room until it cools off. - Security Chief Sedna// //Note: Okay, so that's two design flaws. My bad. Shouldn't be too difficult to install a remote on/off function directly inline with the power supply, though. Now if you'll excuse me, my ears are still ringing from getting an earful from Dr. Veritas, and I have a security manual to re-read. -Prof. Wren// ------ **Test 914-0811** **Name:** Researcher Solstice **Date:** 24/05/2019 **Total Items:** 50 copies of Image 914-VIII-A, printed onto white cardstock. Image 914-VIII-A is a photograph of a computer mouse, a headset, and a can of soda. **Input:** Image 914-VIII-A, printed onto white cardstock. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** A blank sheet of white cardstock and several puddles of ink. //Note: Most of my tests here produced this result. - Researcher Solstice// **Input:** Image 914-VIII-A, printed onto white cardstock. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** Image 914-VIII-A, with the computer mouse, headset, and soda can each cut out of the image and placed separately. **Input:** Image 914-VIII-A, printed onto white cardstock. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** An image of a computer mouse, printed onto white cardstock, an image of a headset, printed onto white cardstock, and an image of a soda can, printed onto white cardstock. Each image was cropped from Image-914-VIII-A. **Input:** Image 914-VIII-A, printed onto white cardstock. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** Image 914-VIII-A, printed onto white cardstock, cut into a jigsaw puzzle. **Input:** Image 914-VIII-A, printed onto white cardstock. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** An image of a disassembled computer mouse, a disassembled headset, a soda can, and a puddle, printed onto white cardstock. The image notably has a bluish tint, likely due to SCP-914’s inability to produce or destroy ink. [[=]] **{{- - [ACCESS GRANTED - CLASSIFIED LEVEL 4] - -}}** [[/=]] > **Input:** Image 914-VIII-A, printed onto white cardstock. > > **Setting:** Coarse > > **Output:** Image 914-VIII-A, with the computer mouse, headset, and soda can each cut out of the image and placed separately. An additional section in the top left of the image is cut out in the shape of a moth. This section of the image was not found in the output booth, nor was any corresponding entity found in Researcher Solstice's dormitory. > > > > **Input:** Image 914-VIII-A, printed onto white cardstock. > > **Setting:** Coarse > > **Output:** An image of a computer mouse, printed onto white cardstock, an image of a headset, printed onto white cardstock, an image of a soda can, printed onto white cardstock, and several instances of the word "FLAME" arranged into a BATTER class cognitohazard, printed onto black cardstock. ------ **Test 914-0812** **Name:** Researcher Loki **Date:** 25/05/2019 **Total Items:** 100 Kilograms of modeling clay, 1 bucket of yellow paint, several tubes of other colored paint //Note: I shall unlock SCP-914s artistic talent, and then I will sell it for millions like they do for zoo animals. - Researcher Loki// **Input:** Above mentioned **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Life-size model of SCP-173. Researcher Loki was transferred to the medical bay due to dangerous levels of adrenaline in his blood. ----- **Test 914-0813** **Name:** Dr. Matism **Date:** 25/05/2019 **Items:** One CD copy of //Seinfeld// season 4 **Input:** The CD **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One small aluminum plated plastic figurine of Jerry Seinfeld. When within a 20-meter radius of the figurine, jokes and slapstick have been shown to be "exponentially funnier". ------ **Test 914-0814** **Name:** Dr. Tamsen **Date:** 26/05/2019 **Total items:** One taco. The toppings are beef, lettuce, and cheese. **Input:** Above mentioned. **Setting:** Very fine **Output:** One taco. It only has tomatoes on the inside and over cooked beef. When tasted, the individual will be unable to speak any other language than Spanish for around 60 minutes per 100 grams. //Nota: La comida estaba realmente sabrosa. Voy a intentar hablar en inglés de nuevo. -Dr. Tamsen// //Translation: The food was very tasty. I am going to try and speak English again.// -------------- **Test 914-0815** **Name:** Researcher Graymont **Date:** 26/05/2019 **Total Items:** 5 pairs of Nike brand shoes //Note: From here on, the first two tests on course and rough will be omitted unless a something inconsistent happens. - Graymont// **Input:** One pair of shoes **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One pair of [REDACTED] brand shoes **Input:** One pair of shoes **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Visually similar pair of shoes. They have the cognitohazardous property of causing the nearest person to try to put them on. Notably, once on, no force thus far has been able to separate D-17939 from the shoes, they are unable to be taken off. D-Class notes that despite this, the shoes are extremely comfortable. ----- **Test 914-0816** **Name:** Doctor Starr **Date:** 26/05/2019 **Total Items:** Four tablets of ███████ brand painkiller (The same used for the first “914 Brand Painkiller” test), four D-Class Personnel employed for testing the results, and a handful of “914 Brand Painkiller” in case of the creation of “914 Brand Pain” //I am going to be working a lot with “914 Brand Painkiller” and potentially “914 Brand Pain” so they will be relabeled “9BPK” and “9BP” respectively for future tests. Today’s testing revolves around the hypothesis that SCP-914 refines around the user’s perception of the input, SCP-914, or the potential output. I have enlisted the help of four D-Class, each of which have unique experiences or knowledge about “9BPK” or “9BP”. I do intend to run into “9BP” during this test so appropriate measures in place. - Doctor Starr// **Input:** One tablet of ███████ brand painkiller **Setting:** Fine (Operated by D-Class who has experience with only “9BPK”) **Output:** A more advanced version of “9BPK” that has an increased duration of 36 hours and an a pleasant aftertaste. //Had I not used only one tablet, I definitely would have had the team reverse engineer these as an alternative for patients dealing with continuous pain. -Doctor Starr// **Input:** One tablet of ███████ brand painkiller **Setting:** Fine (Operated by D-Class with experience with “9BP” and subsequently “9BPK”) **Output:** “9BP” with an increased duration to 24 hours and the added effect of resisting “9BPK” entirely. D-Class was returned to confinement with a nurse until the effects wore off. **Input:** One tablet of ███████ brand painkiller **Setting:** Fine (Operated by D-Class with limited knowledge of only “9BPK”) **Output:** A slightly worse version of "9BPK" that lasts half as long and has many common negative side-effects, such as indigestion, dizziness, and fatigue. **Input:** One tablet of ███████ brand painkiller **Setting:** Fine (Operated by D-Class with limited knowledge of only “9BP”) **Output:** --A blank tablet of the same size, shape, and color as the input. Lab analysis says it is the same tablet as the input and is safe for ingestion.-- An anomalous tablet that, when mixed with D-24615’s stomach acid three seconds after digestion, started a extremely volatile reaction that D-24615 described as burning before their stomach exploded. The end result left a fifteen centimeter wide hole in D-24615’s torso with burn marks along the inside of the chest cavity. Although D-Class had both missing and damaged vital organs, subject did not die for over an hour. More symptoms appeared as an infection spread across their body, including but not limited to [REDACTED]. Subject terminated at their own request. An autopsy revealed the words “Do No Harm” were repeatedly burned in microscopic lettering onto the entire exposed interior of the corpse before being incinerated. -------- **Test 914-0817** **Name:** Dr. Hort **Date:** 26/05/2019 **Total Items:** 2 five litre tanks filled with O2 //Note: The input and output chamber were purged of all air before the test.// **Input:** Tank with O2 **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** The output booth was filled with O2 gas, and plastic pieces were placed in the floor. It is unknown if the O2 molecules were separated into oxygen atoms, and joined back together before the output was analysed. **Input:** Tank with O2 **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Tank with an unknown gas. When D-8723 approached the tank, the content ignited and exploded, killing him. 914 didn’t receive any damage. It is theorised that the carbon in the plastic molecules of the tank was separated and ignited with the oxygen. -------- **Test 914-0818** **Name:** Assistant Researcher Takahashi **Date:** 27/05/2019 **Total Items:** One copy of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, one vinyl record of Queen’s 1977 //News of the World// album. **Input:** //News of the World.// **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A copy of //News of the World// with Freddie Mercury, Brian May, and Roger Taylor’s vocals all taken from live performances, even the songs that were never performed live. Interestingly enough, the instrumentals are the same as the studio versions. //Note: I hope it's not weird that I can identify every performance every song came from. - Assistant Researcher Takahashi// **Input:** Super Smash Bros Ultimate. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A copy of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, but some characters have been replaced or removed altogether. Every character's replacement is a character from the same series of the replaced character. Some characters that have been replaced are: King Dedede with the character Waddle Dee, Ken with the character Akuma, Piranha Plant with Toad. Removed characters include Toon Link, Mr. Game and Watch, and Dark Samus. //Note: I have mixed feelings on this., but that's 914 for you. - Assistant Researcher Takahashi// ------ **Test 914-0819** **Name:** Dr. Ira **Date:** 27/05/2019 **Total Items:** Three uncut loaves of Fresh baked bread //Note: There's a ton of this stuff sitting in the breakroom. We held a farewell party for Aniyah now that her transfer request was processed. She baked far too much of this stuff. It is great, however! There's more in the breakroom if anyone wants any. Save some for everyone else. - Dr. Ira// **Input:** A loaf of bread **Setting:** Fine **Output:** An anomalously rotating undecorated cake. The instance was much smaller in size than the loaf used; this is theorized to be the result of less air pockets than there were in the bread. **Input:** A loaf of bread **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A small phonograph entirely made from bread. It continuously emitted the smell of fresh bread while activated. The instance played the 'Happy Birthday' song as expected of a normal phonograph. A small button on the back can be used to turn the item on and off; this disables both the smell and sound of the item. //Note: I don't think 914 can read the room. Let's tell it that this was from a farewell party. - Dr.Ira// **Input:** A loaf of bread, a knife was used to write 'farewell' into the outer crust. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Conversion process took 30 seconds longer than usual for items of this size. When complete, an animate bread figure walked from the output chamber. It walked in circles, weeping, before falling over after 2 hours of continuous sobbing. Upon expiration, the instance was incinerated under orders of Junior Researcher Judith. The smell of baked bread has not removed itself from the incinerator since; 146 hours and counting. //Note: Poor thing. It must think that we're getting rid of it. - Junior Researcher Judith// //Note: This is exactly why you don’t just incinerate anomalous objects. Junior Researcher Judith is banned from using the incinerator to destroy anomalies from now on. - Security Chief Sedna// ----- [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 082X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 082X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0820** **Name:** Dr. Cleveland **Date:** 27/05/2019 **Total Items:** Two copies of //1Q84// by Hakuri Murakami **Input:** //1Q84// **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One extremely detailed satellite map of Japan, South Korea, North Korea, and the Kuril Islands, 1:1000 scale. Result placed in secure storage. //Note: Not what I'm looking for, 914. And I don't know how it managed to mangle the conversion process. - Dr. Cleveland// **Input:** //1Q84// **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Two copies of //Never Let Me Go//. The first is the unaltered 2005 novel by Kazuo Ishiguro, which has been placed in the break room. The second is a copy altered in a similar manner to how SCP-3922 does to fictional videos, and with the original protagonist, Kathy H., rendered as a deuteragonist, paving way for a group of people, similar to SCP-3922-A instances in appearance, to start an egalitarian socialist revolution in Hailsham, England. This copy has been placed in anomalous storage. ----- **Test 914-0821** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 27/05/2019 **Total Items:** 1 cardboard box, 32cm x 32cm x 18cm in size, 1 12-piece set of Garfield-themed porcelain dinner plates. //Note: The original plan was just to test the plates, but as long I've got the box they came in...eh, why not? -Prof. Wren// **Input:** The box. **Setting:** Fine --**Output:** A fully functional, miniature replica of SCP-914. Input booth located at top of the replica, output booth at the bottom.-- --//Note: Oh my god! You guys, this is __incredible!__ This is...wow. Okay, deep breaths...right. Let's see how well this one functions, shall we? -Prof. Wren//-- --//Note: Second half of experiment conducted using the replica 914.//-- --**Input:** All 12 plates.-- --**Setting:** Very Fine-- --**Output:** 157 miniature plates of various sizes.-- --//Note: Aww, I bet some of these would work nicely in a doll hou//-- **Output:** The same box, now with a memetic property wherein anyone who looks at it perceives it to be a perfect copy of SCP-914, operated by inserting objects into the top of the box (perceived as the input booth) and upending the box (perceived as turning the mainspring key). Objects falling out of the box are perceived as exiting the output booth in an improved state. Altered perception remains for approximately 7 minutes. Repeated exposure does not appear to reproduce the effect. The box has been placed in storage for further study. //Note: Umm....huh. Okay, yeah, __that__ was embarrassing. Could someone get me a broom and a dust pan, please? -Prof. Wren// //Note: Uh, I usually don’t comment on other people’s tests, but the second-largest ‘miniature plate’ looks really aesthetically pleasing. Can I have it? I want to make a larger sized replica of that. - Researcher Jane Cho// //Note: Eh, sure. One less shattered fragment of Odie's visage for me to clean up, I suppose. -Prof. Wren// ----- **Test 914-0822** **Name:** Assistant Researcher Jack Dickie, D-51215 **Date:** 27/05/2019 **Total Items:** One old petrol lawnmower. One broken electric lawnmower. One set of stiff garden shears. Six black refuse bags filled with dry grass. Two Black Refuse Bags, filled with dried out hedge trimmings. Six cracked garden Gnomes. Three broken rakes. One hedge trimmer, with a broken blade. //Note: I tidied up my garden about three weeks ago, and I had a lot of old garden equipment taking up space in the garden shed. Plus I had to dispose of this garden waste properly. Today's test is primarily going to be aimed at improving or repairing the gardening equipment. Due to the number of blades on some of the equipment. I've prepared a few potted shrubs to test the results and I've requisitioned Kevlar armour for both myself and D-51215 in case of potential stabbing injuries.// **Input:** One petrol lawnmower, one electric lawnmower. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A larger lawnmower, with a blade, similar in design to a helicopter propeller. The engine has been redesigned to run on battery power. With a smaller tank for petrol, similar in concept to a hybrid engine. The new lawnmower was filled with petrol and its battery was charged, after plugging it into a power socket, for twenty minutes. Upon being activated, the lawnmower generated enough speed to lift itself off the ground. Hovering 50 centimetres over the ground. //Note: Well it's useless as a lawnmower, since it hovers too high to cut the grass properly. But the engine design might be useful. We should be able to reverse engineer it.// **Input:** One set of garden shears **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** The blades of the shears are shinier, but the pointed tips of the shears have been rounded. Similar in appearance to a pair of safety scissors. D-51215 was instructed to trim a small potted shrub with the shears. The shrub was cut cleanly in two by the shears, with little to no effort on D-51215's part. A second test was conducted, with D-51215 instructed to cut through a sheet of paper. The blades could not cut the paper, D-51215 described feeling like he was trying to cut into solid stone. **Input:** One hedge trimmer, with a broken chain. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** The hedge trimmer's blade has been reduced significantly and reshaped into a circular saw. The chain used to cut hedges has been modified into a shoulder strap, to make carrying it, much simpler. D-51215 was instructed to use the new hedge trimmer on a potted shrub. Upon starting the saw, the chain began to spin alongside the circular saw and cut into D-51215's Kevlar. D-51215 was startled and released the hedge trimmer. Which continued to operate, pieces of the blade and chain were scattered around the testing area as the new hedge trimmer mangled itself. **Input:** Three broken rakes. Six Cracked Garden Gnomes **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Six garden gnomes, coated in a sheet of melted plastic and metal. Each gnome is holding a small piece of gardening equipment. A garden hoe, a rake, a pair of shears, a shovel, a watering can and a garden brush. The tools are made of the material from the rakes, and the metallic coating also appears to be from the rakes. Result was inert when D-51215 removed them from the output booth. When placed near one of the potted shrubs prepared for testing, all six gnomes began moving. Beginning to trim, water, and shift the topsoil of the plant pot. Source of the water, in the watering can is unknown. The six gnomes became inert after thirty minutes. Resuming their original poses. Result moved to anomalous storage for further study and potential SCP classification. **Input:** Six black refuse bags filled with dry grass. Two Black Refuse Bags, filled with dried out hedge trimmings. **Setting:** --Rough-- 1:1 **Output:** A four foot tall, humanoid figure. The hedge trimmings have been weaved and bent, into the shape of a pork pie hat, that sits on its head. The figure is coated in thick black plastic from the refuse bags and is filled with the dry grass and leftover hedge trimmings. The result was removed from the output booth and displayed no anomalous properties until brought near one of the potted shrubs. Causing it to screech shrilly, causing D-51215 to flee in terror. D-51215 refused to go near the result for twenty minutes. Upon approaching the object again, D-51215 was shrieked at by the result. But was able to resist fleeing again and moved the potted shrub away from it. Result was inert after the potted shrub was taken away and was moved to anomalous item storage. //Note: Ah right, it's a scarecrow. Assistant Researcher Jack Dickie// ----- **Test 914-0823** **Name:** Dr. Cleveland **Date:** 27/05/2019 **Total Items:** One DVD copy of the 1987 film //Prince of Darkness//, one photo of Tegan and Sara performing in Indio, California **Input:** //Prince of Darkness// **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A DVD, which when placed into any DVD player, shows a Blue Screen of Death seen in computers using Windows XP for 102 minutes. While the dialogue remains unchanged, every time a character says a noun for which has a German counterpart that is neuter in gender, the screen becomes increasingly distorted. At the end of the playback, one could hear Andrei Chikatilo, Dr. Everett Mann, Steve Jobs, Geraldine Ferraro, and SCP-114 saying the infamous "We begin bombing in five minutes" outtake by Ronald Reagan in unison. Should anyone be looking at the screen within five minutes after this point, he or she would cease to exist. Result placed in anomalous storage. //Note: We lost two confused D-class and one security officer to this movie. I'm having a headache. - Dr. Cleveland// **Input:** Photo of Tegan and Sara **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A photo of Fleetwood Mac performing in Holmdel Township, New Jersey on May 29, 2004. A vaguely humanoid entity is seen in the background, with the population of Mongolia correct as of 29/05/2004 (251████) imprinted upon. Touching the photo directly causes one to identify as a [[[scp-3812 | Sam Howell]]] from [DATA EXPUNGED], Louisiana for five hours. Result confiscated by Security Chief. //Note: Excuse me, but who exactly was Mr. Howell? I'm so confused. - Dr. Cleveland// ----- **Test 914-0824** **Name:** Assistant Researcher Jack Dickie, D-51215 **Date:** 27/05/2019 **Total Items:** Five Whittling Knives. Five blocks of carving wood. //Note: So far I've seen what SCP-914 can do with old and broken items. I'm going to see what 914 can do with free reign to be creative.// **Input:** One whittling knife and one block of carving wood. With a sticky note attached to the block, saying: ''Be creative''. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** The Block of wood emerged unaltered, while the whittling knife had been twisted into a corkscrew and stabbed into the top of the wooden block. Pinning the sticky note onto it. **Input:** One whittling knife and one block of carving wood. A sticky note is attached to the block, stating: ''Please be creative''. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** The block of wood has been cut into multiple smooth strips of wood, resembling chopsticks. The handle of the whittling knife has also been turned into smooth strips of wood. The blade is unchanged. **Input:** One whittling knife and one block of carving wood. A sticky note is attached to the block, stating: Be as creative as you like. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** The block of wood has been cut into 74 small blocks. Piled on top of each other, the blocks are of similar shape and design to Jenga pieces. The sticky note has been folded neatly into a smaller square next to it. //Note: Jenga is one of my favourite games! Maybe 914 wants to play? - Assistant Researcher Dickie// **Input:** The previous result, with a block from the bottom, moved to the top. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** The Jenga tower has a block from the middle removed and placed on top. D-51215 attempted to lift it out. Causing the tower to collapse and then reassemble itself, in its original configuration, from the previous test. **Input:** One whittling knife and one block of carving wood. A sticky note is attached, stating: ''show off your creativity''. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** The block of wood has D-51215's face carved into it. And the whittling knife has been stabbed up to the hilt, in the block of wood. **Input:** One whittling knife and one block of carving wood **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** The block of wood has been carved and hollowed out into the shape of a mug. The mug itself is filled with pieces of the block of wood and sawdust. The whittling blade has been stretched thin and acts as an inner lining of the mug. Similar in design to the metallic coating found in thermos cups. The handle was turned into sawdust inside the mug. ----- **Test 914-0825** **Name:** Assistant Researcher Takahashi **Date:** 27/05/2019 **Total Items:** 3 //Dragon Ball Z// VHS tapes. //Note: I can’t watch these because I don’t have a VHS player anymore, so I might as well put them to good use. - Assistant Researcher Takahashi// **Input:** One VHS tape. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** An empty cassette next to a neatly folded roll of film. //Note: Aw, that’s nice of you, 914. Less for me to clean up! - Assistant Researcher Takahashi// **Input:** One VHS tape. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A VHS tape of an English-subbed anime based on //Mazinger Z// titled //Defender 914: Kaiju Fighter// featuring a protagonist resembling Dr. Veritas who controls SCP-914 in a ''Gundam''-like mecha form fighting multiple ''Kaiju''. The VHS is dated 1989, but there is no record of this anime ever existing during that year. //Note: It's surprisingly good? The plot’s amazing. Good on you for being a not boring anime protagonist, Veritas. - Assistant Researcher Takahashi// //Note: Takahashi showed me the tape. A depiction of me tearing the head off a giant... what seems to be cyborg lizard, is not something I expected to see this morning, but here we are. - Veritas// **Input:** One VHS tape. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A sculpture of the //Dragon Ball Z// character Vegeta made out of a VHS tape. Anyone within 1.5 meters of the sculpture will begin to talk like the character for the next 10 minutes. After the result's destruction, the effect stopped. //Note: I have a headache from so many people screaming about besting Kakarrot and being the prince of all Saiyans. Result incinerated. - Assistant Researcher Takahashi// ------ **Test 914-0826** **Name:** Junior Researcher Steven **Date:** 28/05/2019 **Total Items:** One brass mechanical clock, one blueprint for said clock **Input:** One brass mechanical clock **Setting:** Rough **Output:** One large copper cube, one smaller zinc cube and a pile of glass shards //Note: As expected - JR Steven// **Input:** Output of previous test, blueprint **Setting:** Fine **Output:** The inputted blueprint and a copy of the blueprint with the paper replaced with copper, and raised zinc lettering. There is a layer of glass on the back. //Note: Seems to have taken the idea of a blueprint slightly too literally. - JR Steven// ----- **Test 914-0827** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 28/05/2019 **Total Items:** An assortment of 60 //Magic: the Gathering// cards. //Note: Relax, this is just a random old deck of mine from when I first started playing. I'm not running an Alpha Edition Black Lotus through or anything. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** All 60 cards. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** The same 60 cards, sorted in order by color, card type, mana cost, and name. //Note: Huh. I was definitely expecting a pile of cardboard and a puddle of ink here. Also, I'm just going to assume that the idea I just had of putting my __entire__ collection through on this setting is preemptively denied and move on. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** All 60 cards. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** The same 60 cards, shuffled. //Note: Huh. I thought for sure that would have turned them into Pokémon cards or something. Still, I guess this is about as "one for one" as it gets. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** All 60 cards. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A 60-card deck of blank cards with matching fronts and backs. Both sides of the cards are now a red-and-white kaleidoscope of gears with the SCP Foundation seal in the center, mirrored to create a completely symmetrical design. A minor anomalous property has been noted where shuffling the cards induces a mildly euphoric state; the effect gradually wears off over a course of 38 to 45 seconds, leaving the user in a much more relaxed state than before. After the effect wears off, the anomalous property is replaced with one where the gears printed on the card can be seen to slowly rotate for a period of 4 hours; the cards return to their previous state at this time. //Note: Given how much more he needs them than us, I'm taking these straight to Dr. Veritas' office. ...Riiight after I give them one last shuffle. -Prof. Wren// ----- **Test 914-0828** **Name:** Researcher Graymont **Date:** 31/05/2019 **Items:** Three snow globes **Input:** One snow globe **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A large imitation snowflake made from same materials of the snow globe **Input:** One snow globe **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One snow globe that constantly circulates the glycerin snow as though it were being constantly shaken despite no outside agitation. It appears to be unbreakable. ------ **Test 914-0829** **Name:** Intern Snevets **Date:** 31/05/2019 **Total Items:** One daughter board from an Asus Eee PC, one 3.5mm audio connector. //Note: Visiting from the electronic anomalies team. The audio input on my laptop is really choppy, and it seems to be an issue with the jack, so I want to see if 914 can swap it out. - Intern Snevets// **Input:** All above. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A very small mechanical I/O kit, designed to fit into an unknown machine. The kit uses gears to transfer kinetic energy, a set of movable pins for data, and several thin plastic filaments to convey audio. //Note: I'm going to hold onto this until I figure out what it connects to. - Intern Snevets// ----- [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 083X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 083X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0830** **Name:** Assistant Researcher Jack Dickie, D-51215 **Date:** 31/05/2019 **Total Items:** Three lava lamps. Two plasma ball lamps. Two water bubble lamps, with plastic fish inside. //Note: I was passing by one of those thrift stores, and these lamps were selling dirt cheap. I decided to see what 914 could do, to improve upon them.// **Input:** One lava lamp **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** The same lava lamp as before. When plugged in, the mercury and the liquid inside reached a boiling point, the bulb burst however, before the liquid could shatter the glass. Result disposed of appropriately. **Input:** One plasma lamp **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One plasma ball lamp. When plugged in, the plasma ball caused a black out on site. Due to draining all the power. Result was unplugged, and lit up afterwards. Result has stayed on, and remains active. When D-51215 attempted to pick up the result, after it had been unplugged, he suffered an electrical shock. Which he compared to having the same impact of a taser. Result was lifted with rubber gloves and incinerated. **Input:** One water bubble lamp **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** The fish inside the lamp have been melted and fused together into a multicoloured segmented eel. Colours match the fish that were previously in the lamp before. Eel moves up and down the tube, and shows no anomalous properties. **Input:** Two lava lamps. One plasma ball lamp. One Water bubble lamp **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** The glass and bases of the two lava lamps have been moulded together to form one large lava lamp. The base of the lamp, contains the plasma ball lamp. The plastic fish appear to have been melted down and blended with the mercury. Small fish made of the mercury swim inside the lamp. When plugged in, the lamp begins to bubble gently, similarly to air pumps, used in commercial fish tanks. An electrical buzz can be heard in the base of the lamp, where the plasma ball is located. Fish inside appear to be sentient and swim in simple circular patterns. Until tiring and sinking down into the mercury in the base of the glass. Where the fish will emerge once more. Fish have reacted to tapping on the glass and have been shown absorbing small blobs of mercury and oxygen bubbles, created inside the lamp. //Note: This will make a nice reading lamp, for my desk. AR Dickie// //Note: Yeah, definitely not. If that thing releases even a few micrograms of liquid or gaseous Mercury, the entire Site is in danger. Result placed in Hazardous Chemical storage. - Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0831** **Name:** Dr. Hort **Date:** 31/05/2019 **Total Items:** Three iron plates with a heart shape, weighing 3kg each. //Note: I want to see how 914 reacts to simple shapes, starting with a heart. - Dr. Hort// **Input:** One iron plate. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One iron plate with a star shape. **Input:** One iron plate. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One sword, weighing 3kg. The blade has no edges, and the handle is a perfect cylinder. **Input:** One iron plate shaped like a heart. **Setting:** Very fine **Output:** One iron model of a human heart, weighing 3kg. The heart produces a mechanical sound similar to the one SCP-914 makes, with the addition of a sound commonly described as a large hammer hitting metal. This sound wave is produced near 70 times per minute, but can increase up to 120 times per minute depending on who is standing near the object. ----- **Test 914-0832** **Name:** Researcher Jane Cho **Date:** 31/05/2019 **Total Items:** 1 stone sphere attracted to Researcher Jane Cho, from previous test //Note: Whenever I go into Cell 109-A to put something away, this thing rolls around in its locker and makes weird noises. Seen as it isn’t very interesting as-is, I’m putting it back in 914. - Jane Cho// **Input:** Moving stone sphere **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A floating regular tetrahedron made of granite. It appears to be attracted to the nearest person, and will fly towards the subject and hover near their head. //Note: I should have just put cotton stuffing in the locker. - Jane Cho// ----- **Test 914-0833** **Name:** Junior Researcher Irondu **Date:** 31/05/2019 **Total Items:** One apple pie, one bowl of peach crumble, one bowl of blueberry crumble **Input:** The aforementioned items. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One pie. Further inspection revealed fragments of both bowls baked into the pie. //Note: If you take the time to pick out the bowl bits, the pie's not that bad. - Junior Researcher Irondu// ----------- **Test 914-0834** **Name:** Junior Researcher Steven **Date:** 31/05/2019 **Total Items:** Six 1cm^^3^^ iron cubes, painted white, yellow, green, purple, black, and red. Five grams of paint was added to each cube. //Note: 914 always sorts the output of rough, but how will it deal with color? - JR Steven// **Input:** Painted iron cubes, dropped in randomly **Setting:** Rough **Output:** A 6cm^^3^^ cube of iron, spots of paint in a line --randomly ordered--. From left to right: black, white, green, red, purple, yellow. //Upon further inspection they were ordered by the atomic number of the element that gave the paint its color. Carbon-12, titanium-22, chromium-24, iron-26, cobalt-27 and cadmium-48// //Note: I'm glad those paints were all water soluble. I was getting ready to find a chisel. Also, I've got the cube left. Surely 914 can't hurt me with 50 grams of iron -JR Steven// **Input:** Small cube of iron **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Miniature paint pot. Anything placed in it gets painted a random color //Note: I now have a green finger. Might keep the paint pot anyway -JR Steven// ----- **Test 914-0835** **Name:** Dr. Matism **Date:** 31/05/2019 **Items:** Dr. Matism's 2 plane tickets to [REDACTED]. **Input:** The 2 tickets **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One indulgence approximately the mass of the two tickets. The indulgence is signed with Pope Francis's name. No discrepancies can be identified between said signature and an actual sample. //Note: For those of you who don't know what an indulgence is, its just a slip of paper signed by the Pope that pretty much gives you free access to Heaven. I'm keeping this just in case - Dr. Matism// ----- **Test 914-0836** **Date:** 31/05/2019 **Name:** Prof. Wren **Total Items:** 3 Casio synthesizer keyboards, 1 each of the following game consoles: Super Nintendo Entertainment System, Sega Genesis, Sony Playstation. //Note: Been a while since I've done a musical experiment. Maybe 914'll be nice and give me something to make chiptunes with. As a precautionary measure, however, I'm having everyone present wear hearing protection. If nothing else, the PSX test may involve its startup noise, and that sucker is __loud.__ -Prof. Wren// **Input:** 1 keyboard, the SNES. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A 32-key synthesizer stylized in the fashion of the "Super Scope" SNES accessory. Pressing a key --has no effect-- causes a person in the device's line of fire to hear a digitized note. //Note: Neat, but kinda useless. If we could amplify the volume on this thing, however, I suppose it could be used as a sort of sonic weapon. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** 1 keyboard, the Genesis. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A small spherical synthesizer, blue in color. Attempting to press any key causes it to begin to rotate 1/8" in the air, parallel to the ground. Rotation begins at 200 RPM and accelerates to speeds determined by the note pressed before dropping back to the ground and rolling away at speeds exceeding 120km/h. Unit destroyed after colliding with the testing area door after a 5th-octave B-flat was pressed. **Input:** 1 keyboard, the PSX. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A synthesizer with an attached compact disc tray similar to that of the input console. The first note pressed during a song is played at volumes exceeding 170 decibels; effect does not repeat unless the instrument is untouched for a period of at least 128 seconds. The CD tray functions normally for music CDs, but has the same volume effect on the first 20 seconds of any song played. //Note: D-class performing the test was terminated by a massive sonic concussive blast from the device while testing the CD tray. The shockwave ruptured internal organs.// ------- **Test 914-0837** **Name:** Assistant Researcher Erickson **Date:** 31/05/2019 **Total Items:** 3 metal spoons **Input:** 1 metal spoon **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 1 metal fork **Input:** 1 metal spoon **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 1 metal spork. Of note, the item has been constructed in a way that it actually works as both a fork and spoon. The tines of the fork are shaped in a sloped manner so that they catch liquid that would other wise fall out of the spoon, and the spoon is shaped in a half pipe with a sloped back, so that there is no curvature which prevents it from tearing food to shreds when pushed in past the tines. Non-anomalous. **Input:** 1 metal spoon **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** 1 bent metal spoon. //When Assistant Researcher Erickson viewed the input booth, he appeared extremely confused, repeatedly stating “The booth is empty” and “there is no spoon”. Upon picking the object up and handing it to him, it phased through his hands. It appears that he is unable to interact with or perceive the spoon.- Researcher Graymont// ----- **Test 914-0838** **Name:** Junior Researcher Irondu **Date:** 31/05/2019 **Total Items:** One [REDACTED]-brand boomerang. **Input:** One boomerang. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A boomerang labeled "Loopster". Upon being thrown, the boomerang travels in a complete circle and collides with the thrower on the back of the head. //Note: It's a neat toy, albeit a little painful. I'd like to file a request to keep it. - Junior Researcher Irondu.// //Note: It's your brain. - Veritas// ------- **Test 914-0839** **Name:** Junior Researcher Steven **Date:** 03/06/2019 **Total Items:** 50 one kg blocks of iron //Note: I want to investigate the possible use of 914 to dispose of unusual items. I rather enjoy having colored paperclips and so require a few items to test. I will be performing multiple very fine tests, so a D-64012 equiped with non-conductive body armor will retrieve the output - JR Steven// **Input:** One kg block of iron **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A metal mallard duck. Very fine craftsmanship //Note: In no way unusual. I threw it into water and it just sank. Oh well, plenty more cubes -JR Steven// **Input:** One kg block of iron **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One kg of very fine iron dust. No unusual properties. **Input:** One kg block of iron **Setting:** Very fine **Output:** 100 metal ducklings. No seams or welds anywhere. They float on water, but this is due to having a large amount of air inside them. No unusual properties **Input:** One kg block of iron **Setting:** Very fine **Output:** Approximately 100 meters of very fine 28 gauge wire. Normal electrical conductance. **Input:** One kg block of iron **Setting:** Very fine **Output:** Ten pads of very fine, 200, grit sandpaper made of iron //[Tests 6-25 removed for brevity. Very fine was applicable to all output or it was well crafted watefowl]// //Note: All test results had no unusual properties, which is uncommon. I'm not sure what was up with all the waterfowl. JR Steven// --------------------- [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 084X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 084X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0840** **Name:** Researcher A. Dross **Date:** 03/06/2019 **Total items:** Beretta A400 semi-automatic shotgun, Berreta M9 Pistol. **Input:** Above mentioned firearms. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Heavy handheld shotgun, branded as a "Beretta D05 Shotgun". Weapon contains an internal magazine with a capacity of 4+1 shells. When fired, the recoil is strong enough to shatter the wrist of the user. //Note: Dross was admitted to the medical bay. - Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0841** **Name:** Prof. Wren, Assistant Janitor Wakowski **Date:** 03/06/2019 **Total Items:** Five 25 liter containers of "industrial purple" multi-surface sanitizer/cleaner, purple in color with a typical "cleaning fluid" smell. //Note: Wakowski put in a formal request a few days ago, hoping to use 914 to make something to better keep the facility clean with. While his request was denied, I've gotten him clearance to observe this test and offered to run it myself. Personally, I'm kinda hoping at least one of these goes horribly wrong so that people will stop getting the idea of using an unpredictable SCP to make their jobs easier. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** 1 container. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A 25 liter container of "landfill lime" multi-surface sanitizer/cleaner, now green in color and smelling like rotting garbage. //Note: Yeah, needless to say this one went __straight__ in the incinerator. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** 1 container **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 2 2.5-gallon containers of "agricultural yellow" sanitizer/cleaner, now yellow in color and smelling like fertilizer. //Note: Wakowski asked that we try a higher setting, since clearly 1:1 was getting nowhere. I wholeheartedly agree; these previous test results stink in every sense of the term. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** 1 container **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A plastic, pump-action water rifle with a 25 liter capacity, filled with the "industrial purple" solution. Pumping the handle shoots a spray of roughly 207ml of fluid over a distance of less than 2 meters. **Input:** 1 container **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A large plastic disc filled with 25 liters of the "industrial purple" solution. No means of removing the solution without destroying the disc has been found. //Note: Well, those were kinda useless. Wakowski wanted to try Very Fine on the last one, so be warned. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** 1 container **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A small plastic container with a plastic cap on top. Container found to contain 25 liters of the "industrial purple" solution under extreme pressure. //Note: D-class testing the device was terminated upon removing the cap, which caused the container to explode, strike him with high-velocity plastic projectiles, and scour much of his face off with high-pressure chemical spray.// //Note: I suspect Wakowski and I are both going to get our asses chewed for that one, but hopefully this gets the point across to the rest of the Site staff. Silver lining, at least the cleanup crew got a head start on this one. -Prof. Wren// //Note: Half of the testing area walls are purple and the other half of the walls are smeared with D-21392's remains. The cleanup crew will have a headstart on the job because the two of you will be doing most of it. - Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0842** **Name:** Researcher Ydyn **Date:** 03/06/2019 **Total items:** One First Alert smoke detector and one Casio watch. //Note: This is a test to see how random SCP-914 can be in re-refinement. No expectations. -Researcher Ydyn// **Input:** One smoke detector. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** One fully disassembled smoke detector. **Input:** Output above. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** Small piles of individual elements, most noticeably americium and carbon. **Input:** Output above. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** A block of very impure coal. **Input:** Output above. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A block of plastic, various other elements contained in its core. //Note: Let's accelerate this a bit. -Researcher Ydyn// **Input:** Output above. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One lightbulb, glass removed. Testing revealed said lightbulb to emit both alpha radiation and light. Object destroyed due to lack of usefulness. **Input:** One watch. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** One disassembled watch. Gears ordered in order of size. **Input:** Output above. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** Small piles of individual elements, similar to above. **Input:** Output above. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One small electric desk decoration, uncolored. Described as "very unappealing". **Input:** Output above. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One TASER disguised as a desk toy, seemingly designed to encourage contact at the metallic tips. It is possible to adjust shock voltage from 10 to 10,000 volts via a hidden dial. Notably, the taser has no significant electrical storage, making long-term use impractical. ----- **Test 914-0843** **Name:** Security Officer Deegan **Date:** 03/06/2019 **Items:** Three Foundation-issue M40 sniper rifles, currently in unserviceable condition. //Note: Eh, these things were destined for the smelter anyway. This thing's made some pretty crazy weapons out of less before. -Deegan// **Input:** 1 rifle. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 1 sniper rifle, in a style similar to a Kalashnikov //Dragunov// rifle. Scope now zooms to 3x prior distance. Later firing range testing confirms rifle meets Foundation accuracy requirements. **Input:** 1 rifle. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 1 M40 sniper rifle, green in color with a rainbow coloration on the stock. Persons viewed through the scope are perceived as being dressed as circus clowns. Later firing range testing reveals the weapon shoots projectiles at barely sufficient speeds to exit the barrel before falling to the ground, while emitting a loud "honk" upon firing. **Input:** 1 rifle. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 1 M40 sniper rifle, cobalt blue in color. A small green spherical alien sticking its tongue out, identified as being from the cover of the Douglas Adams novel "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," is seen on the stock. The words "Don't Panic" are printed on the scope. Later firing range testing revealed that aside from working perfectly normal, the rifle possesses an anomalous effect wherein anyone looking through the scope experiences a powerful sense of calm, slowing their heart rate by upwards of 27%. //Note: This may just be the best damned sniper rifle on the planet. Thanks a bunch for letting me come back here, Dr. Veritas. We'll keep these two. You guys can keep the clown rifle. -Deegan// //Note: I just got back, he actually attempted to improve weaponry again? I give it a few weeks until one of those guns maims something horrible, probably the user. Speaking from experience. - Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0844** **Name:** Dr. Hort **Date:** 03/06/2019 **Total items:** One 3kg block of dried maple wood, one 0.25Kg block of recently cut maple wood, one maple seed. **Input:** 3kg of maple wood. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One sculpture of a Canadian soldier. It has proven to be sentient, and will shoot wooden projectiles at anyone who doesn't behave politely in its surroundings. **Input:** 0.25kg of recently cut maple wood. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One small sculpture of baby Groot, from Guardians of the Galaxy 2. The sculpture is not sentient, although it is alive and behaves similarly to a normal plant. When growing, it will change appearance exactly like the character from the MCU series. It is currently in its “teenage Groot” form. **Input:** One maple seed. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** The seedling has been separated from the seed shell and is now an extremely small but detailed model of a maple tree, while the seed shell is now an extremely small non-functional helicopter. //Note: I spent an incredible amount of time getting the permissions to perform the biological tests, and now 914 makes the least-dangerous and cutest outputs to ever exist. Great. - Dr. Hort// ----- **Test 914-0845** This test had been conducted with O5 approval, at a vote of 7-5, 1 abstaining. - O5 Council **Name:** Assistant Researcher Erickson. Dr. Veritas supervising. Intern Lunar Assisting. **Date:** 04/06/2019 **Total Items:** Five samples of a single cell life form, each contained in a glass petri-dish which has been chilled to prevent mitosis from occurring. //For this experiment, all non-modified samples are to be referred to as Strain-A. Before somebody throws a fit, we are using a harmless strain of Escherichia-Coli bacteria that is commonly found in the human gut. During this test, we will be analyzing how 914 can change the cellular structure of a life form.- Assistant Researcher Erickson// **Input:** 1 sample of Strain-A **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 1 modified sample, designated Strain-B. Strain B was similar to Strain-A in cellular structure, but showed a markedly different diet. When injected into test subject, Strain-B did not feed on undigested nutrients, but rather fed on the digestive enzymes produced by the intestinal tract. **Input:** 1 sample of Strain-A **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 1 modified sample, designated Strain-C. Strain C showed extreme differences in cellular structure at first glance. Unfortunately, it appeared to require nutrients that were unavailable in the current environment and died. It displayed extremely fast decomposition upon death, and dissolved. **Input:** 1 sample of Strain-A **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 1 modified sample, designated Strain-D. Strain-D appeared similar to Stain-A and Stain-B at first, but the similarities were superficial. Strain-D appears to feed off of electrical energy, and has an organelle with unknown use. On a hunch, Intern Lunar injected Strain-D into the brain of the test subject. Members of Strain-D immediately bonded to the subject's brain cells in the frontal lobe. Strain-D appears to feed on small amounts of the energy in the electrical currents that pass between brain cells. //After monitoring the subject for a ten day period, the subject appeared to develop extrasensory perception and could manipulate small objects without physically interacting with them. The subject often used it unconsciously. For instance, when the subject was reaching for something just out of reach, it would slide slightly closer. Subject is currently contained in a holding cell, further studies on Strain-D are pending. - Assistant Researcher Erickson// **Input:** 1 sample of Strain-A **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 1 modified sample, designated Strain-E. Strain E appears to have been modified to survive outside of the human body indefinitely. A hive like organism, it reproduced quickly under the correct conditions, forming colonies shaped as vine-like growths. Testing of Strain-E aborted when it was found that Strain-E was not only sentient, but extremely predatory towards anything smaller than the colony itself. **Input:** 1 sample of Strain-A **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** 1 unmodified sample. Instead, the petri-dish had been modified, with glass knobs on the side allowing "temperature control", "zoom", and "time control" through anomalous means. This allows the user to view the contained sample under multiple conditions, without use of a microscope. The petri-dish also appears to be able to sustain bacterial life indefinitely. The petri-dish does not open, however, making it ultimately useless. //Note: Veritas, can I keep the petri-dish as an office decoration? It may be useless, but its pretty cool. - Assistant Researcher Erickson// //Note: Erickson, if that thing actually controls the flow of time in its interior, it takes one screwup to rapidly evolve something that can **break out** of the glass. Filed in anomalous storage. - Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0846** **Name:** Doctor Starr **Date:** 04/06/2019 **Total Items:** Five rolls of three meter long five cm medical gauze (Tape Variety) //Note: Testing with the painkillers has gotten both too dangerous and too ambitious to continue hoping for a beneficial product. To anyone that wants, you can use the reverse-engineered pills in your own testing should the need arise. Today’s test will be the start of a series of tests with multiple basic medical supplies. Any testable solution found today will be used on D-Class with small incisions on the top of the left forearm. -Doctor Starr// **Input:** One roll of gauze **Setting:** Rough **Output:** A smoking pile of ripped up linen with molten adhesive drenched on top. //Note: As expected, the rough category lit the input of my test on fire. I wonder if there is a reason burning is the rough category for me. -Doctor Starr// **Input:** One roll of gauze **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** A ball of silk stuck to the floor inside of the output booth which is completely covered with the adhesive. //Note: It took over two hours to find a janitorial staff and get the all of the adhesive off of the output booth. I would recommend a cart of cleaning supplies be left nearby the door to Research Cell 109-B to avoid these types of delays in the future. -Doctor Starr// **Input:** One roll of gauze **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A stack of seventy-two 5 cm by 5 cm gauze bandages labeled “914 Brand Bandages” on the top. No anomalous effects have been found and they are as effective as the bandages used by our staff. --Delivered to Facility 23's section in the Medical Ward-- Placed in anomalous storage until any latent effects are confirmed or disproved by order of Dr. Veritas. **Input:** One roll of gauze **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Similar looking gauze with anomalous property of boosting patients natural healing rate, closing the wound, even those that would normally scar, without scabbing within twenty minutes of the application of the gauze. The energy and nutritional requirements in the accelerated healing are increased by 2000%. As such, side effects are malnutrition, diarrhea, dehydration, poor bowel and bladder control, fever and fatigue, making it impractical for field use. Side effects wear off after wound is treated and gauze is removed. **Input:** One roll of gauze **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** --Same gauze but now the color blue. Gauze works exactly the same as the input with no positive or negative anomalous effects.-- Upon Doctor Starr entering the room to retrieve the output, the gauze lifted from the D-54386 hands and swiftly hovered towards Doctor Starr, where it stopped six cm above the left shoulder blade. If the output enters a two meter radius of an open wound it applies the exact amount of gauze required to cover the wound(s) before cutting itself and returning to the shoulder automatically. Output can be resupplied by placing in contact with more of the gauze used with the input, with a maximum of five meters in length. //Note: I personally don’t have any issues with my new companion seeing as it can make my job a little easier. Veritas, would it be possible keeping it with me in case a medical emergency were to occur somewhere a medical kit might be unavailable? -Doctor Starr// //Note: You know the drill, Starr. Keep it, but it's your career on the line if that thing strangles a colleague two weeks in. - Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0847** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 05/06/2019 **Total Items:** 3 music boxes set to play "O Little Town of Bethlehem." //Note: Something nice, fun, and safe this time. I hope. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** One music box. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** One music box, fully disassembled. **Input:** One music box. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One music box, set to play "Master of Puppets" by Metallica. //Note: Notably, the music box shouldn't be able to play a song of 8 minutes and 36 seconds. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** One music box. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One music box, set to play "The Song that Never Ends" by Sheri Lewis, from the TV show "Lamb Chop's Sing-Along, Play-Along." The music box played continuously, at higher-than-average volume, for 7 minutes 28 seconds without being wound. //Note: After multiple failed efforts to silence the music box, Prof. Wren reinserted it into 914 under the "Rough" setting. The device was, predictably, destroyed upon output.// ----- **Test 914-0848** **Name:** Dr. Matism **Date:** 05/06/2019 **Items:** Five copies of Dr' Seuss' //The Cat In The Hat// **Input:** One copy **Setting:** Rough **Output:** Shredded paper and splattered ink **Input:** One copy **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** One pile of paper and one pool of ink **Input:** One copy . **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One copy of Dr. Seuss' //Oh the Places You'll Go!// **Input:** One copy **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One copy of //The Cat With The Gat// by Dr. Noose. No author is known under this name. The story is significantly shorter and consists of a cat with a handgun robbing the main character's house. Excess paper is discarded to the side. **Input:** One copy **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One large piece of paper with a printed cognitohazard that causes all who view it to see surfaces covered with an unknown purple substance. ----------- **Test 914-0849** **Name:** Researcher Graymont **Date:** 05/06/2019 **Input:** Several standard office appliances **Input:** 10 Staplers **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A stapler of the brand "Supah Stuplah", 5 oversized staples. Has been proven to be capable of stapling hardened steel. Staples are incapable of being reproduced. **Input:** Three pairs of scissors **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Orb that cuts all --paper-- material softer than metal within a 20 centimeter radius. D-Class retrieving the orb has been admitted to the infirmary after losing two digits. ----------- [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 085X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 085X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0850** **Name:** Researcher Ija Rasclon **Date:** 05/06/2019 **Total Items:** 3 small capacitors (charged) //Note: Using capacitors because: A) the fast discharge they generate may create interesting results with 914, and B) they contain far less energy than batteries, and so will (hopefully) be a safe electrical component to test while charged. Also, I'm back. Finished the paperwork to move up to a full researcher. -Rasclon// **Input:** 1 capacitor **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 1 capacitor, of a different brand. Notably, the new brand uses a rubber casing with less surface area than the input brand, so the casing is thicker than normal. Similar changes occurred with discrepancies in the amount of other component materials. **Input:** 1 capacitor **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 1 capacitor, which released its charge via a spark between the exposed terminals. It seems the capacitor releases its charge at a much higher voltage, and accordingly lower amperage, than the input. When recharged, similar event occurred. Placed in anomalous storage. **Input:** 1 capacitor **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** 1 capacitor, seemingly unchanged. No anomalous properties observed throughout 8 hours of interaction and testing. Increasing fear observed in present researchers throughout the testing was determined not to be a memetic effect. //Note: I'm requesting for this to be stored in top security anomalous item containment. -Rasclon// //Note: We still don't know what the refinement did. Until we find out, it has been stored in a heavy containment locker, lined with lead. Anomalous Materials can take a look at it if they feel like it, but I recommend doing so with extreme caution. I trust 914 even less when refinements aren't immediately obvious. - Veritas// ----------- **Test 914-0851** **Name:** Researcher Graymont **Date:** 05/06/2019 **Input:** Various fossils //Note: I saw an accidental fossil extraction quite a ways back in the logs, so I want to see if this is able to be reproduced. - Graymont// **Input:** One small fossil of a seashell embedded in sedimentary rock **Setting:** Course **Output:** Perfectly extracted fossil with the rock next to it. //Note: It worked swimmingly, I will now move on to a much more valuable fossil. - Graymont// **Input:** 10 kilogram fossil of a species that is very rarely fossilized. Extraction through normal methods deemed too difficult and could damage the fossil **Setting:** Course **Output:** One 3 kilogram cube of fossilized bone. One 7 Kilogram of sedimentary rock. //Note: That was the only fossil of the creature we had. Should have known better. - Graymont// ----- **Test 914-0852** **Name:** Assistant Researcher Erickson **Date:** 05/06/2019 **Total Items:** Several pieces of paper, with symbols of various GOIs drawn on them. One pencil. **Input:** One piece of paper with the logo for the GOC. One pencil. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One cartoon drawing of a monkey gnawing on the barrel of a loaded gun. One pencil. **Input:** One piece of paper with the logo for the Prometheus Labs. One pencil. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One cartoon drawing of a giant setting itself on fire. One pencil. **Input:** One piece of paper with the logo for Wondertainment. One pencil. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One well made drawing of an elderly man in a cloak holding the hand of a young boy. The boy is covered in what appear to be patches of rust, and clutches a small toy in his other hand. The man is crying, and the boy bears an expression of extreme pain. One pencil. ----- **Test 914-0853** **Name:** Assistant Researcher Erickson **Date:** 05/06/2019 **Total Items:** Several pieces of paper, with symbols of various GOIs drawn on them. One pencil, one group photo of the facility 23 staff. **Input:** One piece of paper with the calling card for the Chicago Spirit. One pencil. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One sketch of a small dark room. The floor is littered with teeth and stained with blood. A table sits in the corner, a rusty handsaw rests on top of it. One pencil. **Input:** One piece of paper with the religious symbol for the hanged king. One pencil. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One piece of paper. A large hole has been worn in the center with the eraser end of the pencil. A cityscape is portrayed as tilting towards the hole, as if being sucked in. One pencil. **Input:** One piece of paper with the logo for The Factory. One pencil. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One well made drawing of a large factory floor. A small crowd of people sit huddled on one side of the room, staring towards something just out of view. Viewers of the item express a feeling of helplessness. One pencil. **Input:** One photo of the staff of Site-19 facility-23. The building is visible in the background. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One photo of the staff of Site-19 facility-23. Several researchers have been removed from the sketch, and several strange apparitions are in their place. Most of the security staff are missing from the picture, and Dr. Veritas appears to be concerned. A large portion of the facility has collapsed. //Note: This is... unnerving. - Assistant Researcher Erickson// ----- **Test 914-0854** **Name:** Dr. Cleveland **Date:** 07/06/2019 **Total items:** One flag of Georgia (country), 2m by 3m **Input:** One flag of Georgia **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One flag of Sakartvelo as it was from 1991 to 2004, 1.732m by 3.464m. Viewers are compelled to refer the country by its Kartvelian name, and will view former Soviet Union leader Josef Stalin positively. This effect persists for exactly 2004 minutes. ----- **Test 914-0855** **Name:** Researcher Qaniz **Date:** 10/06/2019 **Total Items:** One Mattel brand "Magic 8-Ball" Toy **Input:** Above mentioned **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A black shot glass filled with blue alcoholic liquid, presumably the liquid inside the Magic 8-Ball //Addendum: A D-Class personnel was instructed to drink the mentioned liquid. After approximately 3 hours of severe nausea and fever, subject was rendered unconscious for an hour. Upon regaining consciousness, subject had ceased all motor functions and could only communicate and answer questions using the Magic 8-Ball's preset answers. Awaiting further questioning.// //Note: The poor D-Class is basically brain dead now, but can't deny my amazement at the results. Maybe he's gained predictive abilities? Will question the subject once he's in a more stable state. -Qaniz// ----- **Test 914-0856** **Name:** Dr. O'Connor **Date:** 11/06/2019 **Total Items:** Five King James Version Christian Bibles, (Following items not originally listed; added after 4th experiment) 10g 24 carat gold, 8 bottles acrylic paint (6 primary colors, black, and white), approximately 25g of small precious gemstones including diamonds, rubies, sapphires, and emeralds, bottle of white glue **Input:** 1 KJV Bible **Setting:** Rough **Output:** A pile of ash //Note: Security Personnel 2698, was a volunteer firefighter before joining the Foundation, claims that the pile smelled of some kind of liquid accelerant (e.g., gasoline). Mass spectroscopy of the output reveals only wood ash and carbonized ink compounds.// **Input:** 1 KJV Bible **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** a pile of shredded paper and a small black puddle of ink **Input:** 1 KJV Bible **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 1 Bible, New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) translation **Input:** 1 KJV Bible **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 1 Bible, with a relatively plain cover showing only the word "Bible." Contents are in fine calligraphy, seemingly handwritten. Scripture text does not match any known published version or translation. //Note: Determined to be non-anomalous, placed in site library for public access.// //Note: This gives me an idea. I'm going to get some more supplies. - O'Connor// **Input:** 1 KJV Bible, 10g 24 carat gold, 8 bottles acrylic paint (6 primary colors, black, and white), approximately 25g of small precious gemstones including diamonds, rubies, sapphires, and emeralds, bottle of white glue **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A papier-mâché sculpture. Shape is abstract, and no clear subject matter has been determined. Upper half of sculpture is vibrantly painted with apparently random patterns, studded with gemstones; lower half covered with gold leaf. //Note: I was hoping for an illuminated Bible. I'm still going to keep the sculpture though. - O'Connor// //Note: Keep it, but let me know if that thing starts announcing rapture, ragnarok, or any other apocalyptic event. Not sure if we should respond to it, but Hackett will be cross with me if the world was ending and I didn't tell him. - Veritas// ---------- //This test has been conducted with O5 approval, at a vote of 8-3, 2 abstaining. Following examination of Strain-D, we have deemed it acceptable for bacterial testing to continue. - O5 Council// **Test 914-0857** **Name:** Assistant Researcher Erickson. Dr. Veritas supervising. Intern Lunar Assisting. **Date:** 11/06/2019 **Total Items:** 3 samples of a single cell life form, each contained in a glass petri-dish which has been chilled to prevent mitosis from occurring. //As before, we will be using the harmless strain of Escherichia-Coli. I have high hopes for this direction of testing. - Assistant Researcher Erickson// **Input:** 1 sample of Strain-A **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 1 modified sample, designated Strain-F. Strain F appears to have several modified organelles, and it's body structure is more streamlined. DNA analysis revealed that [Level 4 Clearance Required]. Strain F is sapient. It has proven to build settlements using debris in the intestinal tract, and individual members have exhibited the ability to engage in trade with separate colonies. A barter system seems to be in place. One molecule of a strong material is worth 2-3 molecules of a weaker material. //I could write a five hundred page book on this and still not understand them. Pending SCP classification. - Assistant Researcher Erickson// **Input:** One sample of Strain-A **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One modified sample, designated Strain-G. Strain-G has proven resilient to extreme changes in temperature. Strain-G appears to have developed a modified cell wall, capable of providing extreme control of internal temperature. DNA studies have begun to isolate the responsible gene pair. //Note: If we can isolate the correct gene, we might be able to adapt humans to more extreme weather and temperature conditions. Imagine walking around Antarctica in nothing but shorts and a T-shirt. It may now be possible! - Assistant Researcher Erickson.// **Input:** One sample of Strain-A **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One modified sample, designated Strain-H. Strain-H appeared to be completely similar to Strain-A. However, when put into an enviroment containing other single cell organisms, it showed the ability to move towards other organisms, attach itself to them, and copy pieces of their genetic makeup. The next generation would always have these additional genetic attributes implemented in some way beneficial to the organism. //Note: To create a brief synopsis of this organism: Using this ability, no environment can kill the organism because it steals the genetic material of organisms that can survive in that environment. This is the most perfect organism I have ever seen. It will probably outlast even the tardigrade. That said, this could be extremely dangerous if it comes into contact with any of the anomalous diseases contained by the Foundation. Formally requesting permission to neutralize Strain-H. I believe by quickly switching between hot and cold environments, multiple times, we can terminate it.- Assistant Researcher Erickson.// //Note: Result terminated using the method above. Remains kept in cold storage as a precaution. - Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0858** **Name:** Dr Clocks **Date:** 09/06/2019 **Total Items:** Three sets of short stories written by H.P Lovecraft **Input:** One set of Lovecraftian stories **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One altered set of stories written by Lovecraft. Writing now is more up to date, events in the book take place in more modern areas and times and leading characters are more varied with characters ranging from all sorts of backgrounds and ethnicities. **Input:** One set of Lovecraftian stories **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One stack of SCP files, each with clearance level 3. Confiscated by Dr. Veritas. //Note: It is funny to see what 914 did here. Then again, most of these monsters that we keep locked up could definitely work in some Cosmic Horror stories. -Dr Clocks// **Input:** One set of Lovecraftian stories **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One hardback covered book. The front cover of said book depicts a language currently unknown in origin. Before proper analysis was taken into place, Dr Clocks almost instinctively removed the book from the testing area and placed it into the incinerator. //Note: Look we all how this would have ended. We've all read Lovecraft and we know exactly what will happen when we read it. -Dr Clocks// //Note: Good call. - Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0859** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 10/06/2019 **Total Items:** 3 mountain bikes, heavily damaged. //Note: Word to the wise, make sure you're on the beginner course when trying mountain biking for the first time. They call the one a couple of my friends and I wound up on "Dead Man's Plummet" for good reason, it seems. These things are pretty much useless now, so I figured we may as well see what 914 can do with them, maybe get them back in working order. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** 1 bike. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A scale model of Kilimanjaro made out of rubber, plastic, and metal. **Input:** 1 bike. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A scale model of Denali National Park made out of rubber, plastic, and metal. **Input:** 1 bike. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A scale model of the Himalayas made out of rubber, plastic, and metal. //Note: Turning mountain bikes into bike mountains...not sure if this is profound or just silly, but I have to admit there's a certain artistic quality to these. -Prof. Wren// ----- [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 086X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 086X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0860** **Name:** Dr. Hort **Date:** 10/06/2019 **Total Items:** 5 drawings of various characters from The Chronicles of Narnia. //Note: I finished the books and got inspired, so I drew these. I hope 914 doesn’t just make origami feces as it did with some people’s poetry and drawings. - Dr. Hort.// **Input:** One drawing of Aslan. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One paper copy of the Shroud of Turin. **Input:** One drawing of Drigory and Polly. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One drawing of Adam and Eve. **Input:** One drawing Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy, kings and queens of Narnia. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One drawing of four children walking through street. Architecture similar to London around 1943. **Input:** One drawing of Shasta. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One drawing of Corin, prince of Archenland. **Input:** One drawing of Caspian, prince of Narnia. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One drawing of Rilian, the son of Caspian. ----- **Test 914-0861** **Name:** Researcher Jane Cho **Date:** 11/06/2019 **Total Items:** --5-- 1 glass beaker containing 500mL of 1M phosphoric acid in aqueous solution, with ~3% of the phosphorus being phosphorus-32. //Note: Phosphorus-32 is a radioactive isotope of phosphorus which decays into sulfur-32 via beta decay. Its half-life is 14.29 days, making it useful for this test// //Note: I’m deviating from my regular throwing-rocks-into-914 routine because this is something I wanted to try for weeks.// //Note: Apparently, when 914 refines things, it can rearrange individual nuclei and electrons easily, but it never touches the insides of nuclei.// //Note: This means that, by putting radioactive isotopes into 914, the nuclei can be tracked in space to check for spatial anomalies, and also be radiometrically dated to check for temporal anomalies. This is exciting. - Jane Cho// **Input:** Above **Setting:** Rough **Output:** Multiple glass shards in a puddle of water. The molecules of phosphoric acid appears to have been mixed with the air and therefore dissipated upon opening the output booth. The shards are arranged to create a cognitohazardous symbol that causes viewers to permanently develop an intense irrational fear of the concept of radioactivity. This effect cannot be reversed by any known means. //Note: Sometimes, I just wonder if anything we do here matters. - Jane Cho// ------------ **Test 914-0862** **Name:** Researcher Graymont **Date:** 11/06/2019 **Input:** One small hydraulic press measured to be 10kg, 2 liters of hydraulic fluid, steel measuring to weigh 10kg //Note: I have plans for future tests in similar style; an item with raw materials for 914 to use as it chooses. - Graymont// **Input:** Above mentioned **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Hydraulic cannon weighing 15kg. Fires a 5kg projectile at 15 meters per second. //Note: Upon opening the output booth, the cannon launched a 5 kg rod directly at Researcher Graymont's chest. He attempted to dodge and managed to only have his right ribcage damaged with several ribs broken. Expected full recovery in approximately a week.// ------------ //This test has been conducted with O5 approval, at a vote of 9-1, 3 abstaining. Following examination of Strain-G, we have deemed it acceptable, and potentially beneficial, for bacterial testing to continue. - O5 Council// **Test 914-0863** **Name:** Assistant Researcher Erickson. Dr. Veritas supervising. Intern Lunar and D-80397 assisting. **Date:** 13/06/2019 **Total Items:** 2 samples of a single cell life form, each contained in a glass petri-dish which has been chilled to prevent mitosis from occurring. //Note: Due to 914s penchant for creating more lethal results the more something is tested, we have equipped a Class-D and myself with hazmat gear. He will be handling the outputs until it is determined that they are safe for human contact. A portable decon station has been set up inside the testing chamber. -Assistant Researcher Erickson// **Input:** One sample of Strain-A **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One modified sample, designated Strain-I. Strain-I is completely similar to Strain-A on the cellular level, but it appears to be sterile. It cannot reproduce, and indeed appears incapable of aging, making it functionally immortal. However, the organism was still susceptible to death from external sources. //Note: Unfortunate. That organism could have been the solution to overpopulation.- Assistant Researcher Erickson.// **Input:** One sample of Strain-A **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One modified sample, designated Strain-J. Properties not fully known. The Class-D assisting tripped and shattered the petri-dish, freeing the organism that was inside. Bacteria ate organic material and polymer, and excreted a glass-like filament. Chamber flooded with hydrogen peroxide, and drained 5 minutes later. Assistant Researcher Erickson, who was inside the chamber, and D-80396 were retrieved with some difficulty. Testing area was flooded with Hydrogen Peroxide, effectively neutralizing the threat, and drained 5 minutes later. SCP-914 suffered no structural damage from the result and cleanup. //Note: Poor bastard. Whatever it was, it ate through his suit in seconds. Half a minute after he dropped the damn thing, he was a sculpture sitting in a puddle of blood. I think that was the bacterial equivalent of a piranha. I may need to take a Class-A amnestic, because that was brutal. - Dr. Sheath// //Note: So. I checked him over. Looked for any kind of response indicating he was still alive. He is not. If anyone wants a life size glass figurine of Assistant Researcher Erickson, stop by my office. - Medical Officer Matthews// //Note: What bothers me is that a clear hazmat suit was what replaced him in that staff picture. -Intern Lunar.// //Note: By unanimous decision, bacterial testing of SCP-914 has been temporarily discontinued, until a another suitable researcher is available for assignment. The loss of Assistant Researcher Erickson is sad, but the insight was worth it. -O5 Council// //Note: Hackett, I'm formally requesting permission to forward all complaints from the janitorial and anomalous cleanup team to O5 command. My inbox is being bombarded right now. - Veritas// //Note: Send them to me, Lucius. I'll let them know that bacterial testing is suspended. - Director Hackett// ------ **Test 914-0864** **Name:** Doctor Mayo **Date:** 13/06/2019 **Total items:** Five Huawei branded smart watches and one post-it note reading "Hello 914. My name is Doctor Mayo, how do you do?". //Note: Good morning everyone, please call me Mayo. I've been following the logs and have decided to start my own series of attempts to further explore 914's abilities and functions. - Doctor Mayo// **Input:** The aforementioned Post-it note. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** The note now shows a square with an arrow pointing into a small sketch of the input booth of 914 and a triangle coming out of the output booth. //Note: Okay then, honestly not too sure what i was expecting there. Right, time to begin. - Doctor Mayo// **Input:** One Huawei branded smart watch. **Setting:** Rough **Output:** A mound of partially melted plastic, metal and glass. The fumes released once the output booth was opened were incredibly unpleasant. **Input:** One Huawei branded smart watch. **Setting:** Course **Output:** Three piles, one of crushed glass, plastic and metal filaments. **Input:** One Huawei branded smart watch. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One Sony branded smart watch. //Note: I have to agree with 914 on this, i own both models and have to say they really are like for like. - Doctor Mayo// **Input:** One Huawei branded smart watch. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One "Thales" branded smart watch. Upon wearing the device a mild electric shock is experienced when receiving a notification. The functionality of the device seems unchanged. All of the inputs on the screen are in old Latin and cannot be changed. //Note: Thales being one of the first credited researchers into electricity, the watch being in Latin and producing mild shocks must be related. Actually hurts quite a bit though. I'm going to put a note on this before putting into storage. - Doctor Mayo// **Input:** One Huawei branded smart watch. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One "Huawei" branded "smart observer", it is noted the branding for Huawei is now in simplified Chinese "华为". Upon the output booth being opened the device leaped out onto the leg of Doctor Mayo and began to climb up until it reached his shoulder. Once perched it began to "observe". focused on different areas of the room and shout in Chinese. The phrases it shouted roughly translated as "Not Splendid" when observing the reinforced shield and "Splendid" when observing 914's input booth. ---------- **Test 914-0865** **Name:** Researcher Jane Cho **Date:** 13/06/2019 **Total Items:** Diamonds **Input:** 20g colorless Type Ia diamond **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 20g yellow Type Ia diamond **Input:** 20g colorless Type Ia diamond **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A diamond pencil, composed of a pure graphite lead inside a hexagonal yellow diamond casing. The pencil is in a sharpened state. //Note: The writing is very smudgy, as expected. - Jane Cho// **Input:** 20g yellow Type Ib diamond **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 20g yellow Type Ia diamond **Input:** 20g yellow Type Ib diamond **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A set of yellow spinning diamond disks connected to each other via axis. The disks spin in opposite directions, powered by an unknown source. **Input:** 20g colorless Type IIa diamond **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 20g yellow Type IIa diamond **Input:** 20g colorless Type IIa diamond **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A large octahedral diamond crystal, with three small unlabeled graphite reels embedded onto one side. The words “COMPLYTESPECTRYMRAYNBOWDYAMOND”(sic) is engraved onto the opposite side. Turning the reels change the color of the crystal. Each reel appears to correspond to the hue, saturation, and absorbance value of the crystal, respectively. **Input:** 20g blue-gray Type IIb diamond **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 20g dark yellow Type IIb diamond. The origin of the yellow color could not be determined. **Input:** 20g blue-gray Type IIb diamond **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A small diamond sphere that changes color depending on the strength of the electrical field in its immediate surroundings. Stronger electrical fields cause its color to turn blue, while weaker electric fields cause its color to turn red. ----- **Test 914-0866** **Name:** Dr. Silver **Date:** 17/06/2019 **Total Items:** A stainless steel spoon, one can of Darkside Cola (dispensed by SCP-261), a blueprint for a handgun. **Input:** One can of Darkside Cola. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One bottle of Darkside Orange Soda. Similar to Darkside Cola, when the bottle was opened, the liquid inside immediately turned black. Tasted like slightly spicy orange soda. //Note: Not as good as the cola. -Dr. Silver// **Input:** A blueprint for a handgun. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A blueprint for a chainsaw cannon. After evaluation by Site Security Chief, it was determined that the design was extremely unpractical and more hazardous to the user than the target. ----- **Test 914-0867** **Name:** Assistant Researcher Jack Dickie, D-51215, D-54212 **Date:** 17/06/2019 **Total Items:** One British Pound coin, no longer in circulation. One bag of marbles, exactly 25 marbles inside. **Input:** One British Pound coin **Setting:** Fine **Output:** The coin is notably thinner and wider, with the words Heads and Tails stamped into the coin. D-51215 was ordered to flip the coin, which landed on its edge. D-51215 was ordered to make a call and try again. The coin continued to land on its edge, result moved to anomalous storage. **Input:** One bag of marbles **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One single glass marble is inside the bag. This single marble is notably heavier, and the colours inside it change depending on what angle the person is viewing it from. D-51215 was instructed to play a game of marbles with D-54212. The new marble was flicked lightly at a cluster of marbles, causing them to fly out of bounds and shatter against the walls of the testing chamber. D-51215's thumb was burnt by the marble during this test. A second test, with a padded vest and padded gloves provided to both D-Class was performed. The marble was propelled harder, and result in the marbles hit, to fly out of the circle at lethal velocity, killing D-54212 and shattering D-51215's thumb. //Note: It seems like the marble has the mass of all the marbles, and increases the kinetic energy used to flick it, transferring it to other marbles. - AR Dickie// ------ **Test 914-0868** **Name:** Researcher Maksymilian Ostro **Date:** 17/06/2019 **Total Items:** Two decks of Magic the Gathering cards (60 cards per deck), 4 six sided dice, Instruction manual for MTG. 5 cards for the singular card test. //Pre-experiment Note: 914 has shown an ability to understand physical games like chess or Jenga. Researcher Ash tested it on games with more complex rules. This experiment is to test the limits of its understanding in games. -Researcher Maksymilian// **Input:** Two six sided dice thrown in the chamber with 5 and 4 on their upside and two gently placed dice. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Thrown dice now both have 1 on their upside and the gently placed ones have 6. **Input:** Two aforementioned decks one on the far side, the other on the opposite side near the input door. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Both decks are shuffled and lives set to 20. Far side has seven cards in front. **Input:** Two aforementioned decks. The deck near has 7 cards taken out. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** The far deck has 6 different cards. **Input:** Two aforementioned decks. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** The Far deck has placed a land card and put their allowed cards on the battlefield. [Logs 5-70 expunged for brevity] **Input:** Two aforementioned decks. The close deck has used //Blacker Lotus//. **Setting:** Rough **Output:** The blacker lotus card has been torn to pieces and mana added to the pool. [logs 72-128 expunged for brevity] //Note: Let's see how it reacts to a singular card.//-Researcher Maksymilian **Input:** One black lotus from the near side deck **Setting:** Very fine **Output:** One card called "The blackest of black lotuses" Its description reads" ''Get infinite mana of every color to your mana pool, play any cards you like how much you like afterwards, eat this card and every card in one kilometer radius. --The item has shown no anomalous properties-- This item has an anomalous property that manifests if the user has played the card. When this occurs, the user is forced to carry out the description. **Input:** //Alhammarret's Archive// card **Setting:** Fine **Output:** The card now details personal thoughts and details of --Researcher Maksymilian-- the person that is watching it. If there are multiple people watching it, the person observing it will only see their own version //Note: Researcher Maksymilian was admitted to amnestics bay but then released when it was discovered only Dr. Veritas could see [REDACTED] -Dr. ████// **Input:** A //Permafrost Trap// card, a //Time Stop// card and a //Timebomb// card //Note: I'll test it for multiple cards.-Researcher Maksymilian// **Setting:** Very fine **Output:** One card that reads "Play it, and stop time in the room you are in permanently after 5 seconds." //Note: Stored in Anomalous Storage, well presuming its anomalous but I'm not playing it to find out. -Researcher Maksymilian.// ----- **Test 914-0869** **Name:** Junior Researcher Jimson **Date:** 17/06/2019 **Input:** One typed note reading "Hello, 914. I have been recently assigned to work with you. I am interested in us working together as effectively as possible." **Input:** Above mentioned **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A typed, one-page brochure entitled "How to effectively work with 914". Aside from the title and some generic black-and-white graphics, the brochure is blank. A cognitohazardous effect when viewing the output causes the viewer to have the overwhelming urge to find and speak at length to MT Johnson on the subject of the intricacies and good strategies of equipment repair. Output incinerated and JR Jimson along with two security guards were administered amnestics after being escorted to the infirmary by a very irritated-looking MT Johnson. //Note: Aside from the cognitohazard and being administered amnestics on my first test at this facility, I'd say this first test went as well as it could. On a related note, my future tests in this series will be run on settings no higher than 1:1; less chance of producing anomalous effects that way. - JR Jimson// ----- [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 087X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 087X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0870** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 17/06/2019 **Total Items:** 5 NATO .762 shell casings, previously fired. //Note: Not gonna lie, I won't be the least bit surprised if 914 somehow makes one of these a live round again. - Prof. Wren// **Input:** One shell casing. **Setting:** Rough **Output:** A small pile of shredded metal fragments. **Input:** One shell casing. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** One smaller shell casing made entirely of copper, another made entirely of zinc. **Input:** One shell casing. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A small brass conch. //Note: A shell for a shell. Huh. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** One shell casing. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** An empty shell casing, apparently factory-new. Shell emits a loud "BANG" upon being touched, or dropped, on its "firing cap" side; effect takes 76.2 seconds to "recharge" via unknown means before repeating. **Input:** One shell casing. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A 1/8192 scale model M1A2 Abrams Tank made entirely out of copper. Tank moved autonomously and "fired" on D-class in testing area, launching small, highly-pressurized air bursts at 7.62-second intervals. After 3 shots, D-class destroyed the tank by stomping on it. //Note: Dang. I was kinda liking that thing. Should probably get rid of the self-firing shell, though...someone's bound to find a way to get themselves, and/or someone else, killed with it otherwise. - Prof. Wren// ----- **Test 914-0871** **Name:** Dr. Cleveland **Date:** 17/06/2019 **Total Items:** A map of Greece, dated 1991; an electoral map of Italy in the 2019 European Parliament Election. **Input:** Maps **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A map labelled "60th Anniversary of the Partition of Greece and Collaborationist Italy after the Olympian War, 1942". The map, dated 2002, shows Albania, Macedonia, Bulgaria, and Turkey annexing all of Greece north of Mount Olympus; and France, Austria, Switzerland and Yugoslavia annexing northern Italy and Sardinia. Sicily is noted as a British Trust Territory, while nuclear strikes are shown in Athens, Patras, and Mount Olympus. An extradimensional territory, denoted as "Olympus (administered by the Hellenic Olympians)" is also shown as being occupied by the United Kingdom, France, Austria, Poland, Yugoslavia, and Turkey. Viewing the map induces extreme hatred against Hellenistic culture, and polytheism in general. Administration of Class-B amnestics reverses the effects. **Input:** The above result **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Two items: 1. The fourth chapter (titled "Turkish Attempts at Protection") of a book titled "Understanding Bulgarian Nationalism: Olympian-Greek Occupation and Genocide 1936-1942". Viewing this causes the viewer to be fluent in Greek, Bulgarian, and Turkish for exactly 1939 hours. 2. A map of Bulgaria, dated 1994, from the same world as the previous result. Notably, a Greek Autonomous Region was present, encompassing our world's equivalent of Thessaloniki, Chalkidiki, and Mount Athos Regional Units; whilst Targovishte, Razgrad, Shumen, and Silistra Provinces are grouped under a Turkish Autonomous Region. Kardzhali Province, along with Rhodope and Evros in Greece, were apparently ceded to Turkey. Viewing this has a 40% likelihood of causing the viewer to be obsessed with Bulgarian Nationalism. ----- **Test 914-0872** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 17/06/2019 **Total Items:** Three copies of //Guitar Hero// for the Playstation 2, Three PS2 guitar controllers. //Note: I was never any good at these games. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** One game and controller. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One copy of //Ukulele Hero// for the Playstation 2, One PS2 ukulele controller. Game is not known to actually exist. Game functions similarly to original input, with in-game elements and song selections having a more "tropical" theme to them. **Input:** One game and controller. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** The guitar controller with the game disc embedded in it label-side down. PS2 controller socket has been converted to a standard USB-C socket; plugging the unit into a USB port causes the disc to project a holographic image of the game as it would normally appear on a 64-inch widescreen television. Game functions normally while powered. **Input:** One game and controller. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A 2:3-scale Gibson Les Paul guitar, with a body composed of the controller's materials and strings made out of the disc. Holding the guitar causes a memetic effect wherein the holder feels compelled to play their favorite rock song on it; D-class doing initial test suffered numerous fingertip lacerations while trying to play Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train." Memetic effect concludes with a compulsion to smash the instrument on the floor upon song's completion. Instrument reassembles itself over a period of Four minutes. //Note: Those first two could probably go to the break room, but I think it might be best to put that last one in the incinerator. On top of the severe finger trauma, that thing just sounded God-awful to a degree that I don't think we can blame on D-33874C's skills, or lack thereof. -Prof. Wren// ---- **Test 914-0873** **Name:** Doctor Mayo, D-46931 **Date:** 18/06/2019 **Total Items:** Five pairs of Enchroma colour blind glasses. //Note: Good day, all. My last test seemed to result in some play on words in the output results from 914, so seeing if I get the same with a few duplicate pairs of the glasses that I personally use. - Doctor Mayo// **Input:** One pair of Enchroma colour blind glasses. **Setting:** Rough **Output:** Broken glass and plastic fragments. **Input:** One pair of Enchroma colour blind glasses. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** A single pile of plastic, the broken glass was in the middle of the pile. **Input:** One pair of Enchroma colour blind glasses. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One pair of Pilestone colour blind glasses. **Input:** One pair of Enchroma colour blind glasses. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A blind with the slats made out of very thin pieces of glass. When viewed at different angles, these pieces change colour. The plastic in the glasses has been reformed into a kind of flexible string-like structure, holding the blind together. //Note: Well, that is a pretty useless blind considering it can been seen through but it certainly makes for a nice light show. Requesting to keep this in the office. As for the next test, I have learned my lesson and the very fine test will be conducted by D-46931. - Doctor Mayo// **Input:** One pair of Enchroma colour blind glasses. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One pair of --unmodified colour blind glasses-- colour absorbing glasses. When D-46931 put on the glasses and looked at the control colour test sheets, they were drained of all hue instantly, turning completely black. //Well, I was expecting it to cause colour blindness, not create some kind of visual stimulation device. This test is inconclusive as far as the ''play on words'' theory. My appreciation to the security team in restraining D-46931 when they were asked to hand back the glasses. Just a shame my shirt was drained; it was one of my favorites. - Doctor Mayo// ----- **Test 914-0874** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 18/06/2019 **Total Items:** 15 Bic ball-point pens //Note: I am not doing this just to clear out space in my desk. That is merely a side benefit. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** 5 pens. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A thin A4-sized sheet of plastic with an "inverted" image of the Bic logo, with ink everywhere except where the logo is, drawn on it. **Input:** 5 pens. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A plastic flintlock-style pistol. Weapon discharges a hollow, 1.2954cm diameter ink ball at a muzzle velocity of approximately 128m/s. Ink splatters harmlessly on impact. Weapon ran out of ink after 52 shots. //Note: The size and velocity are consistent with black powder muskets. The total number of shots is consistent with the amount of ink 5 pens would hold as well. Interesting. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** 5 pens. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** 1 oversized Bic ballpoint pen. Total mass and ink content is consistent with the 5 inputs. Tip of pen is standard size and functions normally. //Note: Okay, I'm not buying this, 914. There's no way the "play God at your own peril" setting only spits out a novelty joke pen. Requesting this thing be examined more thoroughly for any kind of anomalous properties. -Prof. Wren// //Note: As of 7 hours after being initially produced by SCP-914, the pen has shown no anomalous properties, even when drained of ink and fully dismantled.// ----- **Test 914-0875** **Name:** Junior Researcher Jimson **Date:** 20/06/2019 **Total Items:** One 1 liter bottle of [REDACTED] brand gear oil, one handwritten note that reads "Have a quart of oil on me", one pencil. **Input:** Above mentioned items **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** --Unchanged bottle of oil.-- The original bottle of gear oil, seemingly unchanged, one pencil, and one handwritten note that reads "Halve a quart of oil on you". Upon opening the bottle of oil to inspect the contents for any changes, approximately half of the contents of said bottle was sprayed precisely onto Junior Researcher Jimson. No injuries were sustained. Further analysis of the remaining contents reveals no anomalous properties and that the amount sprayed out totals exactly one half quart. //Note: "Have a quart" became "Halve a quart"? Is 914 making a pun or does 1:1 now also transform words into homophones? Regardless, I'd like to officially request tomorrow off so I can thoroughly scrub every inch of me. Most of it sprayed on my face, so I'm lucky I wear glasses but I'm going to be tasting that awful stuff for weeks. -JR Jimson// ----- **Test 914-0876** **Name:** Intern Snevets **Date:** 20/06/2019 **Total Items:** Five large bins of assorted basic electronics components //Note: Just received a transfer order last night; seems I’ve been reassigned here. I look forward to working with you all. - Intern Snevets// **Input:** One bin **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** Cubes of various metals, piles of plastic pellets and ceramic component casings, powdered dyes, a ball bearing made of enamel, several drops of electrolyte gel, and a very small silicon crystal. //I looked over some of the older testing logs this morning. It seems a bit strange that each material is in a different form. - Intern Snevets// **Input:** One bin **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A bin of basic clockwork parts. Notably, several parts are made out of materials that cause them to not function properly. (e.g. springs made of ceramic) **Input:** One bin **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A bin of components shaped like puzzle pieces. The pieces are constructed in a manner that allows any piece to be connected to any other piece. **Input:** One bin **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** --Unchanged-- A bin of parts which perfectly match theoretical values and produce no waste heat. Of special interest are the modified diodes and resistors: current flowing through the diodes in the reverse direction is returned out the cathode, rather than converted to heat, and the resistors are marked with a black tolerance band (according to standard resistor color code, black has no meaning as a tolerance band) which is invariably identified as denoting a tolerance of 0%. //Note: Sending the ‘perfect’ components for possible reverse-engineering. Let’s see if we can make more. - Intern Snevets// **Input:** One bin **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A small metal figure, wielding a ceramic tantō and dressed in a kimono made of plastic film. Object animated briefly and proceeded to commit seppuku, bleeding electrolyte. //Note: I'm keeping the tantō - Intern Snevets// //Note: No, you're not. - Veritas// ---- **Test 914-0877** **Name:** Junior Researcher Emmerson **Date:** 21/06/2019 **Total Items:** Three glass petri-dishes. Each contain one strand of Human DNA, taken from stem cells. //So, hi everybody. O5 command transferred me here for the specific purpose of bacterial testing. There will be some changes to the bacterial testing procedures. This test exists to set a baseline on how it can effect DNA itself. Security is oh high alert. - Junior Researcher Emmerson// **Input:** 1 glass petri-dish. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 1 glass petri-dish. 1 modified strand of human DNA. Several genetic markers are now present, notably a theoretical marker that is, for all intents and purposes, biologically impossible to achieve. Sample destroyed. **Input:** 1 glass petri-dish. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 1 glass petri-dish. 1 modified strand. Notably, this strand contained no abnormalities or anomalies. Several markers for down syndrome were present. **Input:** 1 glass petri-dish. 1 glass petri-dish containing human stem cells. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 1 mobile glass figurine. Humanoid in shape, and standing approximately 10 cm tall. Object contains several biological components, namely, human hair and eyes. Testing proved entity to be sapient. Entity is capable of communication through writing, and insists itself to be Assistant Researcher Erickson. Item currently resides in locker #128 of anomalous storage. ---- **Test 914-0878** **Name:** Researcher Vesania **Date:** 21/06/2019 **Total Items:** One Foundation-authored scientific paper, titled //Introductory Pataphysics// **Input:** The above-mentioned paper **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A short story, titled //Insanity’s Humanity.// The story details the actions taken by Researcher Vesania on the day of this test, up to and including removal of the document. The end of the story details Vesania's feelings of anxiety and dread as she realizes the potential consequences of her coworkers reading the document, and she requests that the document be burned. //Note: Ignore that. I have nothing to hide, so I have nothing to fear. In fact, we should probably burn the document—in case it carries an infohazard, of course. -Researcher Vesania// //Note: Confiscated by me and forwarded to Dr. Veritas's office. Evaluation pending. - Security Officer Sedna// ----- **Test 914-0879** **Name:** Researcher Laskenta; D-46931 **Date:** 21/06/2019 **Total Items**: Three standard "Facility 19-23" SCP Foundation PCs (without any data outside of the operating system) //Note: Since I am somewhat responsible for the workstations of this facility and they seem to break after a certain time "by themselves", I will try to create a PC that can be reverse-engineered and does not break through anomalous means. -Laskenta// **Input:** One PC **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A cube (17.5x17.5x17.5 cm) of an alloy of all materials used in the PC. The cube can not be deformed or damaged by any force smaller than 250MN. On one side is a 2x2cm symbol which glows when the cube is pressured with more than 150N. The symbol is the source of the cube's durability, but will not hold any anomalous feature if printed onto anything but cubes of the same size and alloy. //Note: Note to everybody whom it will concern: Don't say "unbreakable" in front of 914. The cube will be handed to next person asking me stuff about their writing software. - Laskenta// **Input:** One PC **Setting:** Fine **Output:** The same PC. After using the test result for more than two hours, an anomalous effect will make the nearest user believe the object is broken. The affected subject will seek --Researcher Laskenta-- the next person of technical skill to ask for help. Result immediately incinerated by Laskenta, after the standard inspection revealed the effect. **Input:** One PC **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A slightly smaller reinforced metal object. The insides seemed to be a working computer until holes for the power supply and ports were cut, where all function ceased. Any attempt to boot the machine up has met with failure. Result disassembled. No part, besides the CPU, held any anomalous feature afterwards. //Note: "What has no inputs, can not be broken." Thank you, 914, but it can also not be used. I request a second review of all parts for other anomalous features. If they don't hold any, I propose to use them to build another PC. - Laskenta// ----- [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 088X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 088X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0880** **Name:** Junior Researcher Jimson, D-49918, D-49919 **Date:** 22/06/2019 **Total Items:** 5 old texts acquired from a local book sale. //Note: Between cognitohazards and oil baths, I've decided using a D-class is the only smart things to do.// **Input:** A copy of the Encyclopædia Britannica Vol. 11 dated 1952 **Setting:** Rough **Output:** A pile of shredded paper and book covering. Some parts appear to have been singed while others appear to be torn. No cut marks were noted. **Input:** The complete works of William Shakespeare. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** A book titled "A Complete Anthology of Vogon Poetry". Upon retrieval from the output booth, D-49918 took it upon himself to open the book and read some poetry. Upon doing so, his brain activity immediately ceased. Book was incinerated. //Note: While I'm curious what combination of words could possibly lead someone's brain to stop functioning, I've read The Hitchhiker's Guide and know enough to not find out for myself. I thought burning the book would be doing the universe a service.// **Input:** One copy of Merriam-Webster's English dictionary **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One copy of the Oxford English dictionary. **Input:** One Physician's Desk Reference dated 1977 **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One Physician's Desk Reference dated 2063. Result sent for study and possible usage by the medical staff on-site. //Note: Nice! If it's real then that should have some new tricks to make our doctors happy.// //Note: It would be, but the text references instruments that don't actually exist, as well as some unknown anatomical terms. - Veritas// **Input:** One text entitled "The Complete World of Greek Mythology" by Richard Buxton **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One ornate hard, paper box with a hinged lid clasped shut. On the top of the box was inscribed the words "Jimson's Box". A note was found next to the box that read "Do not open". Given the myth concerning Pandora's Box, D-49919 was terminated by security forces on JR Jimson's order when attempting to open the box after retrieval from the output booth. Output placed in secure storage locker while awaiting approval for further testing. //Note: Why "Jimson's Box"? Am I supposed to open it? Is it weird that I'm very tempted to see what's inside? I'd like to request permission to study the contents of this box in a controlled setting to determine its potential value to society. -Junior Researcher Jimson// //Note: Denied. Opening something with even slight resemblance to the mythical object sounds like a poor idea. - Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0881** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 23/06/2019 **Total Items:** Three crushed bass trombones. //Note: Got these from a local scrapyard; the previous owner wrecked their car with these inside. I'll leave the "B-flat" puns to you lot. - Prof. Wren// **Input:** One trombone. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One brass oven door. //Note: Took me a minute to realize this was a reference to the "When Mom's not home" video meme. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** One trombone. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One set of brass dominos with a straw-sized hole on the top and bottom. Blowing into either hole on any of the dominos produces 1 of 28 distinct tones. //Note: The tones sound kinda like a brass piccolo. Neat. Permission to hold onto these, Dr. Veritas? I have an idea for making a singular instrument out of them for when they're not being used as dominos. -Prof. Wren// //Note: You know the drill, Wren. Keep them, but if it sucks out one or all vital organs etc etc. - Veritas// **Input:** One trombone. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A brass animatronic figure of jazz legend Louis Armstrong, 13.6cm tall. Upon exiting the output booth, figure began to sing "What A Wonderful World" to the D-class conducting the experiment. All personnel within audible range stopped and listened; 17 personnel, including the D-class, were brought to tears by the song. Later testing revealed the figure required a recharge period of 9 hours before being able to perform again, at which point it played one of Louis Armstrong's most popular songs at random. Songs that have been played as of this time include: -What A Wonderful World -Mack the Knife -Hello Dolly -When The Saints Go Marching In -We Have All the Time in the World -When You're Smiling //Note: That was...glorious. I'm tempted to suggest putting this in the break room, but then we'd probably have everyone on Site trying to take their breaks all at the same time. -Prof. Wren// ---- **Test 914-0882** **Name:** Intern Walker **Date:** 24/06/2019 **Total Items:** Five plastic molecular model sets //Note: I have studied the experiment logs extensively, and am excited to see what happens. - Intern Walker// **Input:** One plastic molecular model set **Setting:** Rough **Output:** An amorphous pile of melted plastic, of similar weight to the input. **Input:** One plastic molecular model set **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** Ten piles of powder, sorted by hue **Input:** One plastic molecular model set **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One plastic set of generic building blocks. Piece count and colors are similar to that of the input. //Note: Ha, I get it. Atoms are the building blocks of matter, so it turned them into actual building blocks.// **Input:** One plastic molecular model set **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One plastic sheet, resembling the Periodic Table of Elements. The names and atomic symbols appear to be carved into the plastic. Upon closer examination, it has eight rows, but the eighth row is completely blank, save the first four elements, each of which have their temporary IUPAC names. The elements are color coded based on what group they belong to. **Input:** One plastic molecular model set **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** --unchanged-- The model will now assemble itself based on which "atoms" are next to each other, preferring molecular configurations which would have the lowest bond energy. They snap together as if they were magnets, but cutting them open reveals nothing extraordinary. The molecules appear to take on the properties of what they represent. Will be taken for further testing. //Note: My hands have slight chemical burns from attempting to pick up a sulfur dioxide molecule. I wish I was wearing protection. Looking back, this experiment could've turned out far worse. I shall take note to wear adequate protection next time. - Intern Walker// **Date:** 25/06/2019 //Note: During testing, a chemical reaction occurred between [REDACTED] and [REDACTED], causing an explosion in the adjacent testing area. The only induced casualties were my eyebrows. As it turns out, exothermic reactions will release energy proportional to the size of the model times the amount of energy the real reaction will produce. Testing has ceased, and the chemical set has been placed in anomalous storage. If anyone wishes to access it, I would advise extreme caution. - Intern Walker// ----- **Test 914-0883** **Name:** Researcher Laskenta; D-46931 **Date:** 25/06/2019 **Total Items:** One metal mug, filled with coffee; One (cleaned) coffee machine //Note: After a conversation with Intern Walker about coffee, where I seemed to be harsher then I anticipated, I've decided to try and create a coffee generator as a recompense. -Laskenta// **Input:** One filled mug; One coffee machine **Setting:** Very fine **Output:** The mug has been welded on top of the coffee machine, and will be constantly filled to the top with coffee. If the coffee is removed without drinking it directly from the mug, it will be replaced with a sharp metal dust, as soon as it enters a human digestive system, which will result in severe abdominal pain for the drinker. The coffee machine will work as expected, but upon making coffee everybody within close range of the machine will feel a strong sense of guilt. //Note: This will not do for the break room. I will disassemble the output. I am just happy that Very Fine didn't result in... something like 3023. -Laskenta// **Addendum:** Upon separating the mug from the coffee machine, both items grew metallic limps and attacked everybody in sight with hot coffee. Both items were quickly disabled and incinerated by security. Result held no anomalous traits afterwards. No casualties, besides first degree burns on the hands and torso of Researcher Laskenta, who separated the items. //Note: I need coffee and a day off. Sorry Walker, maybe next time. -Laskenta// //Note: I told you it wouldn't work, and now look. You wasted so much perfectly good coffee. And we need a new coffee machine. - Walker// //Note: The one I have in my room (brought from home) will be used as a compensation in the break room until I buy a new one. -Laskenta// ---- **Test 914-0884** **Name:** Intern Snevets **Date:** 25/06/2019 **Total Items:** One hockey referee's sweater, one soccer ball, one full set of football equipment. //I wasn't planning to do any testing today, but the gym was cleaning out some of their old stuff, so I asked if I could use a bit of it. Don't worry, it's all been disinfected. - Intern Snevets// **Input:** One hockey referee's sweater. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A miniature figure of a seeing-eye dog, complete with harness. **Input:** One soccer ball. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A tiny stage made of rubber and plastic. //So far, these seem to be based on sports stereotypes. Maybe the football gear will have something to do with concussions? - Intern Snevets// **Input:** One set of football equipment. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** An animate set of football equipment. Proceeded to charge out of the output booth at full speed, avoiding researchers, and collided with the far wall head first. It then proceeded to slam its "head" against the wall until the helmet cracked, at which point the equipment deanimated and collapsed. Remains found to be non-anomalous. //That was... frightening. - Intern Snevets// ----- **Test 914-0885** **Name:** Dr. Cleveland **Date:** 25/06/2019 **Total Items:** One map of Yugoslavia dated 1980, one A5 size photo of Facility 23 on 30/04/2019, one A4 size photo of SCP-2118 dated 2017 **Input:** Map of former Yugoslavia. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One paper accordion. Object plays the 1993 Yugoslav song "Karadžić, Lead Your Serbs" for two hours before unfolding itself to reveal an ethnic map of Yugoslavia dated 1991. //Note: Not that... goodness. - Dr. Cleveland// **Input:** Photo of Facility 23 **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A presidential portrait of Mitt Romney dated 2017. //Note: Apparently it's telling me what quantum politics is. - Dr. Cleveland// **Input:** Photo of SCP-2118 **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** An A5 size portrait with the words "Arbeitsminister Charlotte Pletscher, 2041 - die Gegenwart" at the bottom, and a map of the "Republik Deutsch-Wisconsin", roughly covering the states of Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa, Nebraska, South Dakota, North Dakota, and the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Theorized to be from a timeline where the United States collapsed during the Great Depression. //Note: This strikes me as confusing. - Dr. Cleveland// ----------- **Test 914-0886** **Name:** Researcher Graymont **Date:** 25/06/2019 **Input:** [REDACTED] Brand cordless drills weighing 2.5kg with battery discharged, 1kg of plastic similar to plastic used for drill, 2 kg of copper, 2 kg of steel, 500 grams of insulating rubber, 200 grams of lithium, 300 grams of silicone. //Note: I'm back, and I plan to be much more careful with these tests. As such, I will be wearing body armor, and a helmet with safety glasses. - Graymont// **Input:** Above mentioned **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Small electric motorcycle with large drill bits as wheels. Battery's efficiency ranges wildly, with it occasionally lasting 30 seconds and other times several hours. The motorcycle only weighs 8.5kg and is much smaller than average motorcycles so it is essentially useless. //Note: These experiments are really gonna be interesting, especially if these results stay so unpredictable - Graymont// //Note: Welcome back, Graymont. And don't worry, the only thing that's been predictable about 914's results __is__ the unpredictability. -Prof. Wren// ----- **Test 914-0887** **Name:** Researcher Edith **Date:** 25/06/2019 **Total Items:** Five identical "Etch A Sketch" drawing pads **Input:** One "Etch a Sketch" pad **Setting:** Rough **Output:** A single, generic, non-anomalous "Etch A Sketch" with a cracked screen //Note: To be blunt, I'm not quite sure what I was expecting to occur differently. - R. Edith// **Input:** One "Etch a Sketch" pad **Setting:** Course **Output:** A single, generic, non-anomalous "Etch A Sketch" with each grain of aluminum powder removed from the pad and set into a small, neat pile. //Note: Not quite as broken as on rough, though still will require some tedious repair if it is to work again. - R. Edith// **Input:** One "Etch a Sketch" pad **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** An "Sketch An Etch". Further inspection showed that both the left knob and right knob's controls had been reversed. **Input:** One "Etch a Sketch" pad **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A single, generic, "Etch A Sketch" with the property to draw, seemingly, at its own accord. The scenes drawn before item relocation included: - A well detailed dog. Breed assumed to be border collie - A can of Lysol Disinfectant Spray, equally detailed as the dog - A stick figure looking downwards at what appeared to be a spilled carton of milk - Seven plain lines arranged in a seemingly specific order. The meaning has yet to be determined //Note: Odd indeed, especially the last drawing. I cant help but wonder what it is. - R. Edith// **Input:** One "Etch a Sketch" pad **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A single, generic, "Etch A Sketch" with a behavior changing property that is activated upon use by any one person. While being used, the user is almost instantaneously granted the ability to draw with great real-life accuracy and detail. The user is hyper-focused on finishing the drawing and unable to be distracted outside of physical interference. //Note: That was..a very strange experience. I'm not quite sure what I can really 'note' about it. - R. Edith// ----- **Test 914-0888** **Name:** Jr. Researcher Connor **Date:** 27/06/2019 **Total Items:** One mug of coffee produced by SCP-914, one glass of water, one blank piece of paper. //Note: As I'm testing with products of SCP-914, D-class personnel will be used for all retrieval and testing. - Connor// **Input:** One mug of coffee from SCP-914 **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One mug of coffee. Testing on D-class personnel found that this coffee caused extreme drowsiness and lowered blood pressure and functioned similar to an anesthetic. **Input:** One glass of water from SCP-914, one blank sheet of A4 paper. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One sheet of A4 paper, with Foundation documentation on SCP-914. Glass of water was reported by D-class personnel to cause extreme nausea. //Note: Further testing required, particularly with more unusual liquids from SCP-914.// ----- **Test 914-0889** **Name:** Researcher Graymont **Date:** 27/06/2019 **Input:** One Google Chromebook weighing approximately 1.5kg, 500 grams of silicone, fiberglass, and tin, 1kg of hardened steel //Note: The hardened steel is to see if 914 will find a use for it within a computer - Graymont// **Input:** Above mentioned **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One Google "Steelbooc"(sic) weighing 3kg. It is a computer with an outer casing of hardened steel, and covered in a thin layer of silicone. Processing power is noted to be drastically slower and the computer is prone to overheating. Only benefit is that it seems to be immune to any attempts of unauthorized access within. //Note: The computer won't open unless I personally am near it and will it to open myself. Requesting permission to keep for storage of valuable personal information. - Graymont// //Note: Denied. [[[new-technical-issues |Rosen]]] will blow a gasket if that thing encrypts everything on the intranet. - Veritas// ----- [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 089X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 089X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0890** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 01/07/2019 **Total Items:** Five 1kg spools of tie-dyed yarn. //Note: It's amazing what you can find at thrift stores sometimes, you know? -Prof. Wren// **Input:** One spool. **Setting:** Rough **Output:** 1kg of yarn, shredded beyond usability. **Input:** One spool. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** One spool of white yarn, 12 pools of colored dye between 0.05 and 0.7ml each. **Input:** One spool. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 1kg of tie-dyed yarn crocheted into the SCP Foundation's logo. **Input:** One spool. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A 25cm x 25cm x 25cm "die" of yarn, mostly white, with the pips for five sides marked by circles of dye; each side marked this way uses one of five different colors. The "1" side of the die's pip is marked by a hole in the side. The hole reveals the interior to be hollow; if turned inside through this hole, the object's shape becomes that of an eight-sided die. The pips of the "2" through "8" side of it are marked with seven colors differing from each other and those used on the other side. //Note: This is equal parts neat, cute, and almost completely useless. -Prof. Wren// //Note: You could probably make a working one out of rubber, though. - Intern Snevets// **Input:** One spool. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A paintbrush made completely of yarn; the bristles are made of loose strands while the extra-long handle is tightly woven to the point of rigidity. The yarn is mostly white; along the handle's length are 12 spots of different colors. Holding a finger over one or more of them and brushing the "bristles" along a surface alters the hue of whatever the bristles touch to match that of the color being touched, or a random mix of the colors if more than one is being touched. Brushing over a surface without any of the color spots being touched removes any changes. //Note: This could actually come in rather handy for any redecorating or paint touch-ups we ever have to do around here. Wonder how this stuff would affect organic compounds? Like hair, for example. -Prof. Wren// ----- **Test 914-0891** **Name:** Doctor Mayo, D-46931 **Date:** 01/07/2019 **Total Items:** Five packs of standard playing cards. **Input:** One pack of playing cards **Setting:** Rough **Output:** A pile of ashes **Input:** One pack of playing cards **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** The output booth was filled with cut up paper and ink residue was found on the walls and ceiling. //Note: Well that took longer than I thought to clean up. - Doctor Mayo// **Input:** One pack of playing cards **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One deck of Magic The Gathering cards, the cards are slightly smaller than standard; this is to make up the full 60 cards from a 52 pack. //Note: I'm very impressed by this output, it is well worth noting that the deck is correctly formatted and includes some rare cards. The only let down is the inking on the cards is very light; this is most likely due to the amount of ink Magic The Gathering cards use versus standard playing cards. - Doctor Mayo// //Note: Maybe it learned from me and Wren? -Researcher Maksymilian// **Input:** One pack of playing cards **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A house of cards. //Note: You always manage to surprise me 914. Every time. - Doctor Mayo// **Input:** One pack of playing cards **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A paper knight made of all the cards folded together. The knight kneeled and declared its loyalty to the foundation before asking to be helped out of the booth by D-46931. Result put in anomalous storage. ------ **Test 914-0892** **Name:** Researcher Jay **Date:** 01/07/2019 **Total Items:** Five copies of a single page with computer-generated random numbers. **Input:** One Document **Setting:** Rough **Output:** Shredded paper. **Input:** One Document **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** All numbers on the document have decreased in value by one. **Input:** One Document **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A paper with different random numbers. **Input:** One Document **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Numbers are ordered from least to greatest. //Note: Jay didn't tell me that the paper had a 033 in it too. Before I realized all my math research was corrupted. The result was incinerated. -Researcher Maksymilian// //Note: You should be lucky it didn't generate a grizzly bear from this mess. - Dr. Cleveland// **Input:** One Document **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Same document. Every two to four hours, a blueprint of varying hardware is written down autonomously. ----- **Test 914-0893** **Name:** Guest Researcher Dr. Alex McDermott **Date:** 01/07/2019 **Total Items:** One each of the following: Honda Silverwing scooter, 2.5kg block of lead, 256oz. jar of Dr. McDermott's blood //Note: Dr. McDermott's request only noted the use of the scooter for this test. Additional items were stowed within the scooter and were not authorized to be brought in.// **Input:** The lead block and jar. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** The jar, now filled with a heavy, dense, gold-colored fluid. //Note: I've done it! The secrets of alchemy have at last been uncovered!// //Note: Jar was inadvertently dropped and shattered after the test; the fluid within it then leapt straight at Dr. McDermott, covering his body and entering through multiple pores and orifices, terminating him within moments. Autopsy revealed the fluid had returned to his arteries and become regular blood again; cause of death was determined to be lead poisoning across all of his organs. No further anomalous properties detected from within his remains.// ---------------- **Test 914-0894** **Name:** Researcher Lime **Date:** 01/07/2019 **Total Items:** Three drawings of SCP-914 (2 of which are photocopies). //Note: SCP-914 is apparently an art critic, so this can only end poorly.// **Input:** A drawing of SCP-914 **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A drawing of the back of SCP-914. //Note: We've only ever seen the back of 914 when it was transported here. It's interesting that it knows what itself looks like.// **Input:** A drawing of SCP-914 **Setting:** Fine **Output:** An origami depiction of SCP-914. Notably, the top of the origami has gears drawn onto through careful burning, as well as the text on the control panel. //Note: Nothing happens when you put something in the booths. Permission to keep it? Its a very nice origami. Researcher Lime// **Input:** A drawing of SCP-914 **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A long strip of paper, with the words "Opus Est Metallum" (The work of metal in Latin) written on it. After looking at it, the observer repeatedly say the word "tick", until either unconscious or forcibly amnesticised. Object incinerated without incident. ---- **Test 914-0895** **Name:** Researcher Jay **Date:** 01/07/2019 **Total Items:** Twenty-five mechanical pencils with pencil lead **Input:** Five mechanical pencils **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Five black mechanical pencils with colored graphite, each color matching the colors of one of the mechanical pencils used for this test. **Input:** Five mechanical pencils **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One dagger. The bottom of the hilt is made out of eraser material, the rest of the hilt made out of plastic, and the blade made out of graphite. The blade is disproportionately smaller than the hilt. Blade broke when attempting to write with it. Remains incinerated. **Input:** Five mechanical pencils **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Five plastic needles with graphite syringes. **Input:** Five mechanical pencils **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Five mechanical pencils, which, upon opening of the output booth, dispensed their lead which proceeded to poke at Researcher Jay's eyes. Result incinerated. **Input:** Five mechanical pencils **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Five small rods of plastic rotating around a sphere made out of rubber and graphite in a twenty-five centimeter circle. The rods are pointing horizontally out from the sphere. The rods can be adjusted by an outside force to change their "orbit." ------ **Test 914-0896** **Name:** Researcher Laskenta; D-46931 **Date:** 01/07/2019 **Total Items:** Several damaged external memory devices //Note: All used items belong to Foundation personnel, who asked me to retrieve their data. Since all data-recovery failed and the data is not important enough to use other anomalous machinery, I will use 914 as my very last attempt to get the files back. -Laskenta// **Input:** One Foundation flash drive (USB 2.0 Stick; 128GB), cleanly cut in half **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Two small USB Sticks, assumed to hold 64GB each. When connected directly to a USB port, the device, the output is connected to, will be cut in two pieces by an unknown unstoppable force. When connected via an extension, the extension will be cut in the same fashion. As soon as the extension is repaired while the result is still connected, the extension will be cut again. Connecting both outputs at the same time to a device will lead to the exact same result. Due to this effect, no data can be read (nor written). **Input:** One Foundation external hard drive (backup drive; 4TB) with two bullet holes (no bullets) **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A 15.625cm small metallic humanoid figure; a small pistol in the hand of the figure. The figure is not sentient but is able to speak English. After the output booth opened, the figure introduced itself as "The Second Backup", asked who called it and swore it's loyalty to Researcher Laskenta after he responded. The figure is able to correctly answer any question regarding itself or the pistol. The figure is able to carry the weight of 25.875kg and run with a speed of 7.375km/h. The pistol has an infinite amount of bullets and can only be fired by the figure. The pistol itself inflicts as much damage as a needle, but the target will be paralysed for 2 seconds, as if mentally absent, and will --randomly-- think of a two-digit hexadecimal number. Both effects only work on humans with a cognitohazard resistance value of <64. Shooting on the same target within those 2 seconds will neither replace the thought of the old numbers with new ones or extend the time stunned. Shooting another target will result in the same numbers and will extend the duration of the cognitohazard on the first target by 2 seconds. Both outputs are indestructible by any known means. //Note: I commanded the Second Backup to guard my office and shoot at everybody who enters my room without knocking, and who does not close my door properly. It seems to be unable to shoot at me, even when he does not know it's me. Permission to keep, if I hang up a warning sign? -Laskenta// //Note: That's hilarious, Laskenta. - Veritas// //Note: The numbers are the hexadecimal equivalent of the bytes which were stored on the input. It would take more than 253,000 years to get all information back. - Rosen// //Note: The reason I use Coarse in this test, is to see if the coffee can be separated from the device without damaging the device itself. I don't exactly believe that this will work. -Laskenta// **Input:** One Foundation external hard drive (backup drive; 4TB) with coffee stains **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** The same hard drive without coffee; a small puddle of coffee. The drive can not be read but can be written to. The coffee holds --the information contained on the drive.-- an infohazard which causes everybody who knows about the output to believe that it contains the information on the drive until proven otherwise. Result incinerated. //Note: This is the very first time that Coarse has made anything related to a cognitohazard. I assume this happened because I separated information and the coffee from the drive. I will stop testing for now, so as to not endanger the facility. -Laskenta// ---- **Test 914-0897** **Name:** Researcher Jay **Date:** 01/07/2019 **Total Items:** Three chessboards set up with three sets of chess pieces //Note: We know that 914 plays chess with 1:1, but what will it do on fine and very fine?// **Input:** One chessboard, one set of pieces. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One Capablanca chess set with a hollow board. **Input:** One chessboard, one set of pieces **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One chess set with inverted colors. //This is an art piece more than a chess set and it's hurting my eyes. -Researcher Jay// **Input:** One chessboard, one set of pieces **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One unbreakable chessboard and set of pieces in the shape of Afghanistan. Every seven seconds, one of the pieces will move that is a legal chess move, alternating between black and white. After extensive analysis, the following patterns have been observed: * Pieces will never capture each other * No move by one side that would result in the other side having an advantage will be made * All moves made will be defensive, restricting to the other side or prophylactic * When there is no legal move that follows all the above patterns, the pieces will all simultaneously move back to their starting positions, with white then making a move When an object is placed on the chessboard, the nearest non-pawn piece will make legal moves (If the object is placed next to a bishop and fits entirely inside the square, the second-nearest piece will be selected, unless it is the other color's bishop on the opposite color square as the object. Then it will be the third-nearest piece. This is assumed to happen because the bishop can not make any legal move to push the object.) to push it off the chessboard. It is hypothesized to be able to move an infinite amount of mass, as the pieces have successfully moved every tested object off the chessboard. If the piece selected to push the object would be moved as part of the move-cycle, no moves will be made until the piece in question has moved back to it's original position. If the chessboard is tilted, the pieces will not slide to the edge and fall off. If it is placed upside-down on a surface, it will flip itself over. The pieces have resisted all attempts to move them by outside forces. //Note: This is beautiful. Permission to keep for further analysis? I'm sure I can learn something from it. - Researcher Jay.// //Note: Granted. - Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0898** **Name:** Dr. Cleveland **Date:** 01/07/2019 **Total Items:** One note reading "1.03 million", one 2m by 3m flag of the People's Republic of China **Input:** Note **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One note reading "1 L0ve Y0u 3000" (sic). **Input:** Flag of China **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A 2m by 3m flag of Vietnam. Anyone viewing the flag will have the urge to create a post on any social media platform (Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram being the preferred methods) which urges the government of China to "follow Vietnamese policies on the Internet". China is known to be one of the few countries which has a concurrent ban of all three aforementioned social media sites, which is starkly contrasted to Vietnam, which has a similar government and economic structure but minimal Internet censorship. ---- **Test 914-0899** **Name:** Researcher Jay **Date:** 02/07/2019 **Total Items:** Two maps of Slovakia, two maps of Hungary, two maps of the Czech Republic, two maps of Romania (all dated 2019) **Input:** A map of Slovakia **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A map of Czechoslovakia **Input:** A map of Slovakia **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** --A map of Site-19 Facility 23-- A map that changes to be a map of a one square kilometer rectangle around itself. Anyone using it for directions will invariably find themselves to be lost. **Input:** A map of Hungary **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A map of Central Europe, with the borders of the Kingdom of Hungary superimposed upon modern borders **Input:** A map of Hungary **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A map of Hungary. Upon the opening of the Output booth, it proceeded to 'float' towards the D-class housing before being restrained. Upon further testing, it has been found that the map will move towards the nearest person named 'Gary' and attempt to strangle them. **Input:** A map of the Czech Republic **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One paper with a list of crossed-out nonsense-words. All words are similar to at least two of the following: "Habsburg," "Bohemia," "hamburger," "otter," or "lost." **Input:** A map of the Czech Republic **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A small wine bottle made out of paper. Contains ink that when ingested produces effects of intoxication in the drinker. **Input:** A map of Romania **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A map of the Black Sea, with Romania seemingly controlling the entire coastline, with the capital at Sevastopol. **Input:** A map of Romania **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A map of Romania. When touched for more then a minute, it gradually changes the shape of the skeletal system over an average of two weeks to match the shape of the Carpathian mountains from an overhead view. ----- [[/collapsible]] [/experiment-log-914/offset/8 Notice: Continued in 09XX ->]