Link to article: Experiment Log 914 - Part IX.
[/experiment-log-914/offset/7 <- Notice: Continued from 08XX.] [[collapsible show="+ Show 090X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 090X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0900** **Name:** Researcher Jay **Date:** 03/07/2019 **Total Items:** Five bags of ████████ brand tortilla chips **Input:** One bag of ████████ brand tortilla chips **Setting:** Rough **Output:** Shredded plastic and burnt carbon dust **Input:** One bag of ████████ brand tortilla chips **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** One pile of tortilla chips, one empty unopened ████████ brand tortilla chip bag. **Input:** One bag of ████████ brand tortilla chips **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One bag branded to appear as if it contains salt and vinegar chips that contains ████████ brand tortilla chips **Input:** One bag of ████████ brand tortilla chips **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One bag of ████████ brand tortilla chips that cannot be opened. **Input:** One bag of ████████ brand tortilla chips **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One bag of '914 Brand Chips' and a small block of plastic. On the bag is a cognitohazardous symbol that induces vomiting. Vomit is perceived as a stream of ████████ brand tortilla chips for the first two minutes of viewing. ------ **Test 914-0901** **Name:** Researcher Laskenta; D-46931 **Date:** 03/07/2019 **Total Items:** Four metal mugs, filled with black tea //Note: We had many test lately with uncommon inputs. So I will just try to make coffee. -Laskenta// **Input:** One mug of black tea. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One mug, filled with green tea. **Input:** One mug of black tea. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One metal mug, filled with water; a small cluster of tea leaves. //Note: D-46931 and I checked if the dial was on Coarse. It was not. - Laskenta// **Input:** One mug of black tea. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One tea mug, filled with metal. Result collapsed instantly. No anomalous traits detected. //Note: Output booth cleaned by myself. The metal will be used for another mug when I got time. - Laskenta// **Input:** One filled mug **Setting:** --1:1-- Fine **Output:** One mug, filled with --coffee--. The same mug with --another fluid--. The fluid in the mug can only be described as normal coffee, which it is. Result incinerated. The output was the same mug filled with --coffee--. It is --coffee--. The tea in the input booth was not --put into 914 without-- change--ing it beforehan--d. //Note: I slipped on a bit of tea that I missed and accidentally turned the dial to Fine. Not describing the --coffee-- and then using the words, was the only way to describe it. I will get myself a coffee without effects that imitate [[[scp-426 | me]]]. -Laskenta// ----------- **Test 914-0902** **Name:** Researcher Alex Guymon **Date:** 03/07/2019 **Total Items:** One clay sculpture of the polandball character Russiaball, one copy of all humanoid SCP files. **Input:** Clay sculpture **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A clay sculpture of the polandball character Paraguayball. //Note: I was expecting France, the Netherlands or perhaps Thailand to be honest. - A. Guymon// **Input:** Humanoid SCP files **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Three items: # A Wikipedia page for the "Atomic Bombings of 18th September, 2025". According to the page, Lansing, Bloomington, Portland, Chicago, and Tucson were destroyed by 500-kiloton nuclear weapons, the point of origin being speculated to be within 200 kilometers of Haifa, Israel. # Arrest warrants of Dr. Jack Bright, Dr. Benjamin Kondraki, and Dr. Donna Taylor, issued by FBI Director [REDACTED], dated 27th December, 2027. # 3. The last five chapters of a memoir titled //Anomalous//, authored by Samantha Masters. This part detailed her last years in the Foundation, starting with the murder of Dr. Anna O'Neil, and ending with her emigration to Brisbane, Australia. All humanoid SCPs were mentioned in passing at minimum, with an extended interaction with SCP-3009-C in Nagasaki being noted. //Note: Results confiscated.// ---- **Test 914-0903** **Name:** Researcher Jay **Date:** 03/07/2019 **Total Items:** Five plastic lawn chairs **Input:** One plastic lawn chair **Setting:** Rough **Output:** The seat straps look like they have been ripped by sharp objects. The pipe supports have been burned. **Input:** One plastic lawn chair. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** The seat straps have been cut in half. **Input:** One plastic lawn chair. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A lawn chair with slightly different dimensions. **Input:** Output from previous test **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Same lawn chair. Sitting in it for extended periods of time slightly improves social skills. //Note: Is that a pun? -Researcher Jay.// **Input:** One plastic lawn chair **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Lawn chair. Upon output door opening, the straps snapped. It is assumed that the straps were pulled tighter. **Input:** One plastic lawn chair **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One plastic lawn chair. Anything that can be used as sunscreen or purposed as sunscreen within a 320 meter radius is anomalously attracted to the chair, and will compress into an 2 centimeter layer. Anything placed on the seat of the chair will be enveloped by sunscreen within a minute. If the object is not alive and/or does not have a dermal layer, it will be catapulted away at speeds of around 60 km/h. If the object is alive and does have a dermal layer, the object (excluding the dermal layer) will be catapulted away at speeds excess of 90km/h, ripping open the dermal layer which will dissolve into the sunscreen upon contact. This process was only non-fatal in one case. //Note: Incinerated. Who even had sunscreen anyway? -Researcher Jay// ------ **Test 914-0904** **Name:** Dr. Steph, D-63924 **Date:** 05/07/2019 **Total Items:** One copy of Nintendo's "Super Smash Bros. Ultimate." //Note: Just to be safe, I'm having a D-Class personnel do the dirty work. -Dr. Steph// **Input:** The aforementioned item. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** The inputted item, but upon opening the box, proceeded to blast the D-Class personnel with an extremely bright stream of light, before quickly closing the box again. Item has been stored in anomalous storage. D-63924 suffered temporary blindness afterwards, but did not suffer any permanent injuries. ---- **Test 914-0905** **Name:** Intern Voltê **Date:** 08/07/2019 **Total Items:** Five 10 kilogram cubes of malachite //I got transferred here, so I thought I might as well be productive. Least I could do. -Intern Voltê// **Input:** One cube **Setting:** Rough **Output:** Many small, irregularly shaped pieces of malachite **Input:** One cube **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** A pile of cupric oxide, an anomalously stable puddle of carbonic acid //Note: The carbonic acid was quite difficult to get off the booth floor, but as far as I can tell no damage has been done to the booth. -Intern Voltê// //Note: Junior Researcher Kai mentioned the possibility of better quality soft drinks at the cafeteria, using the same anomalous stability that the puddle of carbonic acid demonstrated. After conversing with me about investigating the properties of the diluted carbonic acid, Junior Researcher Kai decided to taste some of the carbonic acid from a cup, which did not seem to be corrosive after preliminary testing. -Intern Voltê// //Note: My tongue is stinging a little, but I surprisingly feel fine. No burps coming up though. -Junior Researcher Kai// **Input:** One cube **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One 10 kilogram sphere of malachite **Input:** One cube **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One 10 kilogram piece of malachite in the shape of the island of Malta **Input:** One cube **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One 10 kilogram piece of malachite in the shape of a "Thwomp" from the Mario franchise, anomalously suspended 3 meters above the floor of the output booth. When any sapient being comes within 1 meter of it, it will lose it's anomalous suspension. Upon hitting the ground, it will rise to 3 meters off the ground at a rate of 25 centimeters per second. ----- **Test 914-0906** **Name:** Researcher Jay **Date:** 08/07/2019 **Total Items:** Five white sticks of chalk **Input:** One stick **Setting:** Rough **Output:** A pile of chalk dust **Input:** One stick **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** Two chalk sticks, adding up to the mass of the original chalk stick **Input:** One stick **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A slab of gypsum **Input:** One stick **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One stick of chalk. If used to write on a surface, it is impossible to write anything other than the word "Gerald." **Input:** One stick **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Five small rods of chalk. Each one levitates towards the nearest visual sensory organ at a rate of 10 m/h. Easily stopped by walls. Upon touching a visual sensory organ, it will appear on the other side of the organism who's visual sensory organ it has targeted. Autopsies reveal that organisms are penetrated by the rod at an approximately 350 km/h in its previous direction of movement. No other effects are noted upon contact. ----- **Test 914-0907** **Name:** Researcher Qaniz **Date:** 08/07/2019 **Total Items:** Five periodic table of elements (Mendeleev edition) A3 wallpapers **Input:** One wallpaper **Setting:** Rough **Output:** The same wallpaper shredded, output shreds sorted based on a color wheel **Input:** One wallpaper **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** Element symbols cut out, sorted by atomic radius **Input:** One wallpaper **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One Janet edition periodic table wallpaper **Input:** One wallpaper **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One very small book written in old English. Each page seems to explain the properties of an element, containing unknown words explaining a variety of undefined properties of each element. The book contains an infinite amount of pages, most of which explain undiscovered or unidentifiable elements. //Note: 914 seems to enjoy teasing us with things that could greatly help us by giving them to us in the most useless form possible. At least some of the illustrations are cool. I'm going to keep it in my office if that's alright, hopefully it doesn't melt me overnight with radiation or something. - Qaniz// **Input:** One wallpaper **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One periodic table wallpaper with variations from the original edition. Latin symbols of each element have been replaced by Greek letters (relations of each element and its Greek symbol are unknown). --No anomalous properties documented after testing-- Speaking the name of any element (using any language, even made up languages) while looking at the wallpaper causes the subject to behave as if they are made of the mentioned element. This memetic effect is extremely strong, affecting 100% of subjects tested so far, amnestics and even complete memory wipe does not negate this effect. See addendum for more information. ---- **Test 914-0908** **Name:** Researcher Jay **Date:** 08/07/2019 **Total Items:** Five 32 GB USB drives, each containing a single empty text document titled "SCP-914's Hopes and Dreams" **Input:** One USB drive **Setting:** Rough **Output:** One USB drive. Disintegrated upon opening of the output booth. **Input:** One USB drive **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** The text document is now titled "Jay ███████'s Hopes and Dreams." **Input:** One USB drive **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Two small pills with "914 Brand Pain" carved into it made out of metal and plastic. No anomalous effects. **Input:** One USB drive **Setting:** Fine **Output:** The document is now titled "914 Brand Dreams." The text file is presumed to contain a cognitohazardous symbol that causes viewers to enter REM sleep. **Input:** One USB drive **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** The document is now titled "914 Brand Hops --[sic]--." The text file contains a cognitohazardous image that causes effects of intoxication in viewers lasting up to six hours. ----- **Test 914-0909** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 08/07/2019 **Total Items:** Three //Transformers// themed 8GB USB flash drives, each containing an MP4 copy of the 1986 animated film //Transformers the Movie.// //Note: All 3 flash drives are modeled on the Decepticon "Ravage." Each flash drive has 2 configurations; a "disguised" configuration resembling a standard flash drive, and a "transformed" configuration resembling a robotic panther. I thought these were pretty neat a few years back, but nowadays the limited storage space makes them a tad useless, so...bon voyage, little friends. -Prof. Wren// //Note: At the start of each test, each drive will be in its "disguised" configuration.// **Input:** A USB drive. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** The same flash drive, now in its "transformed" configuration. Drive data altered to include MP3s of the soundtrack to //Transformers the Movie.// Sound quality is equivalent to that of a tape cassette. //Note: I consider this an upgrade rather than a tradeoff, personally. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** A USB drive. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** The same flash drive. Analysis shows it can now hold up to 128TB of data. Drive data altered to include MP4s of all episodes of the 1980s //Transformers// animated series in 7 languages. Video and sound quality are comparable to Blu-Ray. //Note: I'll have copies available to anyone who wants one. Same with the soundtrack. Well, those were two very pleasant tests...dare I hope for a trifecta? -Prof. Wren// **Input:** A flash drive. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** The same flash drive. Upon the output booth opening, device switched to its "transformed" state, making a sound identified as the transformation sound from the 1980s //Transformers// animated series. Device attacked D-class administering test with a mouth-fired laser weapon before attempting containment breach. Breach thwarted when device was captured and destroyed by D-class. Analysis of data on drive is currently on hold. //Note: I wouldn't. For all we know, hooking that thing up to something may just give us another shapeshifting deathbot, only with more material to work with. Still, as horrifying as the thought of creating a real-life Decepticon is, it was almost adorable watching it trying to dig through a door that had about 8,000x its mass. -Prof. Wren// ----- [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 091X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 091X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0910** **Name:** Doctor Mayo, D-46931 **Date:** 08/07/2019 **Total Items:** Five wooden statuettes of Keanu Reeves. //Note: I've been into whittling for a while and decided with all the recent love for Keanu i'd have my hand at making some statuettes of him. I have three spare if anyone would like one. - Doctor Mayo// **Input:** One statuette. **Setting:** Rough **Output:** Ash in the shape of Keanu Reeves' face spread on the bottom of the output booth. **Input:** One statuette. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** The statuette has been converted into a wooden action figure of Keanu Reeves and dismantled. The parts were laid out from left to right as; one head, one torso, two arms and two legs. The joints have been rounded to balls and sockets which fit snugly when reassembled. **Input:** One statuette. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A statuette of Doctor Veritas. The facial expression is stern and stands with arms crossed. //Note: The craftsmanship on this is not half bad actually. It really brings out the fierce look in his eyes. - Doctor Mayo// **Input:** One statuette. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A statuette of an unidentified mountain range. An anomalous affect of a cool breeze is experienced when observing the statuette. All who feel the breeze immediately feel calm and collected. **Input:** One statuette. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** --No change noted to the statuette when the output booth was opened by D-46931-- The statuette walked to the edge of the booth whispered something to D-46931 who immediately collapsed. An autopsy on D-46931 found that the cause of death was asphyxiation with no physical cause identified. The output has been incinerated. ---- **Test 914-0911** **Name:** Researcher Jay **Date:** 10/07/2019 **Total Items:** 27 two-tiered boxes of bottled water //Note: I don't know if there's any official term, but what I mean by two-tiered boxes of bottled water is just one cardboard 'tray' on top of another, collectively wrapped in plastic. -Researcher Jay// **Input:** Three boxes of bottled water **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One six-tiered box of bottled water **Input:** Three boxes of bottled water **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Three boxes of bottled water, labeling changed to "Diet Diet Coke" **Input:** Three boxes of bottled water **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One barrel of water, with a mixture of plastic and cardboard lining the interior. **Input:** Three boxes of bottled water **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Six boxes (one-tier) of sparkling water, no cardboard **Input:** Three boxes of bottled water **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Three boxes of an unknown substance. Ignited upon opening of the output door. **Input:** Three boxes of bottled water **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Three boxes of bottled oxygen and hydrogen. Exploded upon opening of output booth. **Input:** Three boxes of bottled water **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Three boxes of bottled "Dehydrated Water." Consumption causes severe dehydration. Application to skin causes skin to rapidly dry out. **Input:** Three boxes of bottled water **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Three boxes of "Holley [sic] Water." If consumed, it will cause the following effects starting within three hours, in this order: 1. The drinker will spontaneously combust for a maximum of thirty seconds. While this does cause death, the body will remain intact, and noticeably cleaner than before consumption. 2. A extradimensional anomaly will form under the body immediately after, which the body will fall into. This extradimensional space is consistent between drinkers, and is estimated to be a three meter deep circular hole with a radius of 1.5 meters. The walls and floor are made out of metal until the third effect. 3. Anything inside the interior of the extradimensional space, including the walls and floor, are transmuted into Swiss cheese over the course of about four hours. Removing the body will cause no further effects. At completion, everything inside appears to be non-anomalous Swiss cheese. 4. Various plants from the genus Holly will grow from the holes in the cheese at an accelerated rate, reaching full maturity within 9 hours. Berries are non-anomalous. 5. A Christmas-themed trolley will burst from the bottom of the hole, moving upwards at a constant speed of 127 km/h between one and two hours after the plants reach maturity. Upon exiting the hole, the extradimensional anomaly will cease to exist. The trolley will disappear upon reaching the approximate orbit of the moon. ----- **Test 914-0912** **Name:** Junior Researcher Kai **Date:** 10/07/2019 **Total Items:** One note reading "Hello SCP-914, I'm new here and I hope we can develop a relationship better than the ones you have with some of the more senior staff here." and one HB pencil. //Note: I just arrived and took a quick glance at 914's testing logs. What is up with all the antagonism? - Junior Researcher Kai// **Input:** Aforementioned note. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One neat heap of shredded paper, same HB pencil. The pencil was noted to be a lot shorter, as if used for an extended period of time. When pieced together, the paper displayed a cognitohazard. //Note: I had believed that only happened on the "Coarse" setting. That was somewhat... disappointing. - Junior Researcher Kai// //Note: On a hunch, I decided to take a look at the paper shreds instead of disposing of them as per regulation. Upon piecing them together at the cafeteria, a cognitohazard was formed that makes anyone viewing it believe that they are new to Site-19 and have just been assigned to work with SCP-914 and the time it lasted was inversely proportional to the amount of time the affected researcher has worked with 914 prior to this test. As amusing it was to see some of the more senior staff treat 914 as if they have never seen it before, I had to go inform Site Security. Luckily the newer researchers, interns and I weren't affected, and everything was back to normal after amnestics were administered to the senior staff.- Junior Researcher Kai// ----- **Test 914-0913** **Name:** Dr. Oren **Date:** 10/07/2019 **Total Items:** A full edition of Ivan Krylov's (Ivan Krylov is the most well-known fable writer of Russia, known for both retellings of Aesop's fables and his own original ones, both in verse) fables in English and Russian side by side, English in prose form. //Note: Let's see if it can be improved - Dr. Oren// **Input:** Aforementioned book. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A book containing all of Krylov's fables, with a few he left unfinished now complete. Text is in Russian. Whenever read by someone who prefers another language, a translation of the fables appears alongside the original, at a level comparable to the best known professional translators and in perfect verse. Whoever views the fables feels compelled to act in a way consistent with their moral, sometimes to the extent of severe damage to oneself if previous behavior contradicted it heavily. ------ //Note: The following test was unauthorized. We are catching word on this now from Berco's full confession to her psychiatrist. Veritas is absolutely furious. The only reason he only suspended her instead of termination is that she gave herself up. Transferred off-Site. The following information is recovered off of a flash drive she handed in, containing 5 minutes of the surveillance footage of 914. - Dr. Ira// **Test 914-0914** **Name:** Dr. Berco **Date:** 11/07/2019 **Total Items:** Jar, filled with 1-1.3 kgs of ash, 56 grams of iron shavings, two golden rings inset with sapphire. **Input:** 1/4th of collected ash, iron shavings. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Twisted, iron heart-shaped pendant. Dr. Berco put the pendant in her pocket and continued testing. //Note: Dr. Berco wore the necklace around until the time of her meeting with her psychiatrist. I believe they let her keep it after thorough testing for anomalous properties. - Jr. Researcher Karen// **Input:** Remainder of ash, both rings. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A pair of glasses. The bridge was made from sapphire, frames made from the gold, and the glass made from extremely thin sapphire. Dr. Berco put the glasses on, and stepped back from 914 in distress, staring at the floor. She knelt, and made motions not dissimilar to petting a small animal. No such animal appeared on surveillance footage. Dr. Berco then made motions of lifting the entity before quickly shuffling out of the building. It is suspected that she had paid off the guards ahead of time, as none moved to intercept her, despite being there after hours. //Note: Security Personnel has been terminated. Lucius assigned Dr. Berco to mandatory psychiatric evaluation. - Hackett// ------------- **Test 914-0915** **Name:** Researcher Graymont **Date:** 11/07/2019 **Total items:** One standard metal snow shovel, a standard pair of gardening shears, a standard metal leaf rake, 200g copper, 200g tin, 3g gold, 400g fiberglass, 200g silicone 10g hafnium //Note: Again, testing raw materials and objects in 914. This time with computer components and a variety of handheld gardening tools - Graymont// **Input:** Above mentioned **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A tool labeled "The Souper Tool" a highly efficient computer appears to be fixed to the side of a block of metal and wood. There is a display on the computer made of an unknown alloy consisting of various materials inputted. The display has three options labeled as "Scoop" "Filter" and "Feed". Upon using the scoop function, the object became animate and ran toward the break room. Object was caught, presumably it was pursuing soup. //Note: After some testing, the scoop function scoops a small amount of soup using a miniature shovel. It does nothing with the soup. The filter function removes all chunks from the soup. And, when tested on a D-Class, the feed function [DATA EXPUNGED] D-Class remains incinerated with the object. The mess was cleaned up. - Graymont// ----- **Test 914-0916** **Name:** Dr. Cleveland **Date:** 11/07/2019 **Total items:** Six random albums by Dublin-based band U2, all in CD format, formatted to 256kbps quality. **Input:** //Pop// **Setting:** Rough **Output:** A shredded pile of plastic which spontaneously exploded with a "pop" sound. No casualties were recorded. **Input:** //No Line On the Horizon// **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** The same album, formatted to 64kbps. Viewing the album cover causes the viewer to fail to recognize all horizons, ranging from the word "horizon", to the event horizon of a black hole, for a period of 12 minutes. //Note: Further experiments suspended for half an hour for Dr. Cleveland to recuperate.// **Input:** //Boy// **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** An album titled //Girl//, by an all-female musical group called "7F". No such group or album existed, and all music produced are played in reverse, and emotionally reversed to //Boy//. **Input:** //How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb// **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** An unlabeled CD, containing a blueprint of a nuclear weapon with californium-251 as its core. //Note: Not practical at all. This isotope is too radioactive for any use as a nuke. - Cleveland// **Input:** //The Joshua Tree// **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A miniature model of a //yucca brevifolia// tree. **Input:** //Songs of Experience// **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A miniature model of Bono (lead singer of U2), which will answer any question regarding the band, its members, and its music, so as long as the person posing the question is within five meters of it. ----- **Test 914-0917** **Name:** Researcher Laskenta; D-47565 **Date:** 11/07/2019 **Total Items:** Three magic cubes (3x3x3) **Input:** One cube **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One magic cube with different colours (black, light blue, russet, orange, violet & brown). Solving the cube will result in a random effect, which has been described by D-47565 as victory notification. Effects observed until now include: changing the colours on the cube to a picture of a rainbow for 3 seconds; playing the victory sound from the franchise "Final Fantasy"; projecting a hologram of [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] above the cube. //Note: Testing involved D-47565 and me solving this cube for four hours. (It feels better than the original.) We have not tested yet what happens, if nobody uses it for a while. Do I get permission to keep it, if it does nothing within a month? -Laskenta// **Input:** One cube **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One magic cube (4x4x4). The cube is as big as the input and therefore harder to turn than a normal cube of this size. Researcher Laskenta hypothesizes, that it is impossible to get a "LL parity" while normally solving the cube. //Note: A "LL parity" is a special case that occurs while solving a cube with an even size (4x4; 6x6 ...). By using the beginner's method of solving, these cases occur as often as they do not.// **Input:** One cube **Setting:** Fine **Output:** --The same cube.-- After turning the cube and letting it stay in one permutation for 5 seconds, a cognitohazard will affect everyone within line of sight of the user. All subjects will hear a --Finnish-- phrase spoken by the user in their native language emanating from directly behind each subject. The phrase is chosen by the current permutation of the cube. The connection of the phrase to the permutation seem to be identical with SCP-2053-2. //Note: Until now neither 2053-1 nor the result of this test had shown any reaction to the permutations used during the tests. This will be put into anomalous storage, if neither the 2053-Team nor Dr. Veritas have any objections. -Laskenta// //Note: Thinking of just making a standard form to allow keeping of object in exchange for accepting responsibility for something blowing your head off down the line. - Veritas// ---- **Test 914-0918** **Name:** Intern Voltê **Date:** 11/07/2019 **Total Items:** Four hand-held mirrors. **Input:** One mirror **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One mirror. Cracks appear in the reflected image. **Input:** One mirror **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One reflective sphere. **Input:** One mirror **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One hand-held Fresnel lens. All light that goes into the lens is anomalously reflected to come out of the center of the lens. **Input:** One mirror **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One mirror. Looking into it increases focus and increases information processing speed. Effects cease upon looking away from the mirror, and rebound (mental fatigue) is felt for the duration of exposure time. ---- **Test 914-0919** **Name:** Intern Walker **Date:** 12/07/2019 **Total Items:** 30 Nanobots, 3 pictures of SCP-914's inner workings //Note: I've seen in the logs evidence of the machine being able to manipulate subatomic particles in the past. I've seen that it has since lost this ability. I have also seen that this machine is capable of making parts for itself. I wonder if it can make something that will repair it, so it will regain lost functionality. - Intern Walker// **Input:** 10 Nanobots, 1 picture of SCP-914 **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A small, diamond-studded metallic replica of SCP-914. It is non-functional and non-anomalous. **Input:** 10 Nanobots, 1 picture of SCP-914 **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 10 Nanobots. When activated, they will disassemble anything in front of it, reassemble it into an output based on the position of SCP-914's dial. Progress is very slow depending on increase in object size. //Note: These nanobots seem to have the same functionality of 914, or at least on a miniature level. 914 is a lot faster. That said, I am absolutely terrified of getting in their way, and am worried that if they are kept around, someone will activate them and let them wander. Requesting permission to incinerate. - Intern Walker// //Note: Way ahead of you, Walker. - Veritas// **Input:** 10 Repair Nanobots, 1 picture of SCP-914 **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 10 Nanobots. When activated, they will seek out and repair clockwork devices. They have been tested on an grandfather clock that had been damaged due to age, and the clock now runs backwards. Disassembly shows that they clock does not have any additional or missing gears. The clock and the nanobots have been put into anomalous storage. //Note: These nanobots were so promising, too. Though I may be curious to find out what happens when 914's gears turn the other way, I am afraid that it wouldn't function properly. If someone else wants to try, and they are able to get permission, they are welcome to it.// //Note: A lot of these gears and keys aren't designed to run backwards, so I'm not risking damaging the thing. We wouldn't know where to start retrofitting 914 in the first place anyway. - Veritas// ----- [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 092X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 092X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0920** **Name:** Dr. G. Adamere, visiting by request. Approved by Director Hackett 08/07/2019. **Date:** 12/07/2019 **Total Items:** One aged children's book entitled //The Box the Gift Came In// (1983) //Note: Dr. Adamere declined to leave any notes, remarking that he had gotten permission through the correct channels to run a test, regarding effect on output, if any, to verbal or emotional stimuli in conjunction with whatever it is that allows SCP-914 to determine the 'meaning' behind an object. "You can take notes if you'd like, but I'd rather just leave once I'm done, thank you." Following notes taken by Security Booth Transcriber, J. Milton.// //Dr. Adamere stated that his daughter, whom had recently passed away, would have wanted her favorite childhood book given to somebody (or something) that would appreciate it as much as she did. 'The Box the Gift Came In' is a morality tale about valuing the gift giver as much, if not more, than the gift itself.// **Input:** Dr. Adamere opens the input door and proceeds to read the entirety of the book out loud to SCP-914. Minor emotional distress is detected, but remains within limits due to circumstances. Approximately 17 seconds pass after the book is finished. After gathering himself, Dr. Adamere places the book very gently on the booth floor. **Setting:** 1:1 //Note: Upon review, SCP-914 performed operations at a slower speed than average by 19% according to visible movement of parts and audible sounds, but operation completed in a record speed of 72 seconds.// **Output:** An origami rose made of compressed paper, the petals decorated with illustrations from input. Upon retrieving output, Dr. Adamere smiled and began to weep. Security Officer L. Simmons entered the room to politely retrieve Dr. Adamere, who complied. //Note: Thank you, 914. Thank you so much. - Dr. Adamere// //Note: The rose was checked for anomalies, but none were found. Hours later, Dr. Adamere was cleared to return to full duty by his grief councilor after "..an incredible turnaround from his previous mental state regarding his daughter."// //Note: We're using my testing area for grief counseling now? - Veritas// //Note: Give me this one exception, Lucius. - Dr. Hackett// //Note: Fine, Arthur, but normal therapy for your friends next time. - Veritas// //Note: Appreciate it. - Hackett// ----- **Test 914-0921** **Name:** Researcher Jay **Date:** 15/06/2019 - 11/07/2019 **Total Items:** --Twenty-- --Twenty-one-- --Twenty-two-- --Twenty-three-- Twenty-four chess sets. //Note: The purpose of this test is to figure out how good 914 is at chess. I will be conducting this over the course of an estimated maximum of a month, as 914 has a history of throwing temper tantrums when it loses. I will have it play against twenty different chess computers, rated from 100 ELO to 2000 ELO at intervals of 100. I will start with having it play the highest rated computer, and if it loses terribly I'll go onto the next lowest rated computer. If it does okay, I will start having it play more games until I find the place where it beats the computers fifty-fifty. After analysis of it's previous games, I have estimated it to be below 1000. -Researcher Jay// [Tests 1-26 results available upon request, redacted for brevity] **Input:** Previous output, with the computer's move made on the chessboard. Note that next move is mate. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One flipped chess board. Taken as resignation. //Note: Moving on to 1900. -Researcher Jay// [Tests 28-287 results available upon request, redacted for brevity. Four chessboards were broken during this time] **Input:** Previous output, with computer's move made on the chessboard. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Checkmate by 914. //Note: That was 914 beating the 1100 computer. Having it play it again as well as 1000. -Researcher Jay// [Tests 288-314 results available upon request, redacted for brevity] **Input:** Previous output, with both computer's move made on chessboard. Note that on both boards 914 is losing. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Two flipped chessboards. Taken as resignation. [Tests 315-756 results available upon request, redacted for brevity] //Note: Averaging it's wins and losses, 914 appears to fall between 500 ELO and 800 ELO, which means that while it can beat the average person, with only a bit of training and practice it's easy to beat. It reliably beat the computer rated 200, and it only beat 1000 a couple of times. The time it beat the 1100 appeared to be pure luck. -Researcher Jay// ----- **Test 914-0922** **Name:** Dr. Cleveland **Date:** 11/07/2019 **Total items:** Six drawings, depicting the logos of the SCP Foundation; the Global Occult Coalition; the Chaos Insurgency; the Serpent's Hand; Marshall, Carter, and Dark, Ltd.; and Dr. Wondertainment. **Input:** All of the above **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A comic scene, depicting the Avengers, the X-Men, and the Guardians of the Galaxy fighting in New York City. A flag, resembling the Nazi War flag with the HYDRA symbol in place of the Swastika, is seen from a distance. Several politicians, including Mayor Bill de Blasio, are seen evacuating Manhattan, as the Dark Phoenix is about to destroy it. Deadpool is also visible, holding an unidentified weapon with one hand, and flipping his middle finger with the other. //Did 914 just make a “in a nutshell” joke? - Doctor Flip// //From the looks of it, yes. What I'm not sure, however, is if it views us or the GOC more highly. - Dr. Cleveland// ----- **Test 914-0923** **Name:** Researcher Qaniz **Date:** 11/07/2019 **Total Items:** Four Peter Schmeichel Manchester United 1998/99 goalkeeper kits //The treble winning season, it's safe to say my life peaked that year - Qaniz// **Input:** One kit **Setting:** Rough **Output:** The kit cut and sewn as goalkeeper gloves, **Input:** One kit **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** The kit cut into three pieces in the shapes of the Premier League trophy, the FA cup and the UEFA Champions League trophy **Input:** One kit **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One Kasper Schmeichel goalkeeper kit, the club crest and kit design does not belong to any known football clubs **Input:** One kit **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One goalkeeper kit with the same design as the input kit but missing a name. instead the name of the kit's current wearer anomalously appears on the kit. Subjects wearing the kit instinctually attempt to catch or deflect any projectile in a 7.32 meter radius (distance of the two goalposts in football). These attempts have been 100% successful so far, including projectiles normally uncatchable by a human, such as bowling balls launched in dangerously high speeds, various bullets, arrows, eggs launched in speeds that would theoretically crack upon impact (caught without cracking), impact grenades, a car driving at 120 km/h towards the subject. The user has no control over their movements when using the output, and has to be separated by someone else. It is presumed that without help, the user will eventually expire due to dehydration. ------ **Test 914-0924** **Name:** Dr. O’Malley **Date:** 13/07/2019 **Total Items:** 4 pills of 200mg Ibuprofen, 2 pills of 4mg Ondansetron (Zofran), 1 bottle of Ipecac Syrup. **Input:** 2 Ibuprofen pills. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 2 pills of generic Aspirin, imprinted with standard markings. **Input:** 2 Ibuprofen pills. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 2 foreign pills, identified to be chemically related to ibuprofen, but with a chemical substitution that increased activity 10 times. Tests resulted in similarly improved pain reduction, as well as dangerously low blood clotting factor for test subject. **Input:** 1 bottle of Ipecac Syrup. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A vial of incredibly viscous, black, and sickly-sweet liquid. Upon consumption of a few drops, subject immediately projectile vomited his entire stomach contents across the test chamber with force, and continued to vomit bile for 4 hours. **Input:** 1 pill of Zofran. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 1 pill, which dissolved easily on the subject’s tongue and immediately cured vomiting caused by aforementioned syrup. Side effects were magnified by a factor of roughly 7 and resulted in the subject being somewhat sedated, lasting for 12 hours. **Input:** 1 pill of Zofran **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A small, round pill containing black powder. Upon closer inspection, the pill is filled with minuscule nanobots coated in a material which facilitates movement from gut to bloodstream. Subject takes pill, and immediately falls to the ground unconscious. After 30 minutes subject wakes up without any apparent effects. Administered syrup from previous test, with no reaction. Scan of brain activity reveals that specific parts of the brain involved in the vomiting response, and nothing else, have been destroyed by the nanobots. Subject also no longer can taste bitterness. ------------ **Test 914-0925** **Name:** Researcher Graymont **Date:** 13/07/2019 **Input:** Three Xbox 360 controllers, 200g plastic, 200g water, 300g steel //Note: Comparing and contrasting the uses certain materials provide with 914. - Graymont// **Input:** One controller, 200g plastic **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Controller with several added, though non-functional buttons. Controller functions as standard. Symbols do not correspond to any known language. **Input:** One controller, 200g water **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Same controller and a blob of water with seemingly impenetrable surface tension. It does not combine with other water and does not get any surfaces wet. The controller controls the blob through anomalous means. **Input:** One controller, 300g steel, instance(s) of [[[SCP-609]]] **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One controller that is invisible to any camera tested. The controller is cold to the touch, and can be manipulated by a person imagining the controller to be at another location. It is only visible to the naked eye. Unusable as a normal controller. //Note: The controller reminds me a lot of SCP 609, so I assume someone was experimenting with an instance, and imagined the input booth of 914. Resulting in this amalgamation of confusion. We are lucky the setting was only Fine and nothing else, who knows what could have come out of very fine. - Graymont// ------ **Test 914-0926** **Name:** Dr. Scott **Date:** 17/07/2019 **Total items:** Fifteen paper plates **Input:** Above mentioned **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Fifteen paper plates that resemble pepperoni pizza. The plates have been shown to emit a smell that is related to a pizza. The plates also are edible with subjects describing them as “Delicious”. ------ **Test 914-0927** **Name:** Junior Researcher Kai **Date:** 18/07/2019 **Total Items:** Four 8-tooth gears with 3, 3, 3 and 4 teeth missing respectively, one rough soapstone figurine of a featureless man //Note: I had picked up the gears and the figurine from a garage sale. Let's see what 914 can do. - Junior Researcher Kai// **Input:** Broken gear with 3 teeth missing **Setting:** Rough **Output:** Two molten puddles of copper and zinc, both of which were not anomalous and started cooling and oxidisung immediately after the booth was opened //Note: Testing was halted temporarily while the metal was cleared from the booth by a rather annoyed Janitor Kurt and Junior Researcher Kai was reprimanded for creating an hazardous mess on the floor of the Output booth. The booth was scrubbed clean after minor application of pickling liquor. - Researcher Laskenta// **Input:** Broken gear with 3 teeth missing **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** The same gear, now with the remaining 5 teeth removed along a previously unnoticed stress fracture between the gear and the teeth. //Note: Apparently, 914 broke the welds between the central disc of the gear and the teeth. I hadn't even noticed that the gears' teeth were welded on. - Junior Researcher Kai// **Input:** Broken gear with 3 teeth missing **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A miniature model of SCP-914 //Note: I'd wanted to set the dial to Coarse again to see if I could retrieve some more metal from the output. However, I didn't expect 1:1 to yield such an... interesting result. I've sent the model for preliminary testing. I'm putting the next gear through Fine, even though I hadn't originally intended to do so. - Junior Researcher Kai// **Input:** Broken gear with 4 teeth missing **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A small lock and half a key **Input:** Figurine **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A figurine of noticeably higher-quality carving, except now with a carved labcoat. Attempted to attack Junior Researcher Kai upon retrieval by D-class personnel and was incinerated immediately by security personnel. //Note: It looked suspiciously like Dr. Veritas. What did I do this time? - Junior Researcher Kai// //Note: Junior Researcher Kai was later found outside Dr. Veritas' office with a letter of apology for the incident he had caused just over a week ago. He had not been notified of Dr. Veritas' holiday and was visibly distraught after hearing the news. I think he might just be imagining the resemblance. - Researcher Laskenta// ------ **Test 914-0928** **Name:** Dr. Leon **Date:** 18/07/2019 **Total items:** a calendar and a pencil **Input:** A calendar and a pencil **Setting:** fine **Output:** A calendar with notes ranging from to-do lists to quick notes about "what just happened" and from dates ranging from 01/01/2000 to 31/12/2099, and blackened wood pieces as if someone laser cut a pencil to sharpen it. //Note: So this thing can write, huh? Also, the dates and events from the past seem to be correct. How long does this thing exist? - Dr. Leon.// ---- **Test 914-0929** **Name:** Researcher Graymont **Date:** 19/07/2019 **Input:** A large grandfather wooden frame weighing 30kg with all the inner workings removed, 70kg of hardened steel, various broken computer components totalling 9kg, one broken analog display weighing 300g //Note: Going for a clockwork-computer hybrid for this test - Graymont// **Input:** Above mentioned **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Same clock, but the pendulum is a miniature analog display that displays unknown symbols. The clock runs at exactly half of normal speed and seems to make nearby objects undergo move and react at half speed. The range of the effect varies, but the maximum observed was 3 meters while the minimum was 1 meter. //Note: Taking apart the clock disables its effect, but of note is that the clocks' gears have been almost perfectly replaced. The only exception being a new compartment of gears, which are attached to the analog pendulum. It is believed that the unknown symbols, along with the mystery gears are the cause for the time-altering effects.// ---- [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 093X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 093X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0930** **Name:** Senior Researcher Vivic, D-11847 **Date:** 20/07/2019 **Total Items:** Three 3D printed pizzas, measuring 25cm in diameter **Input:** One of the above pizzas **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A 15cm solid plastic model of Mario^^TM^^, Nintendo^^TM^^. **Input:** One of the above pizzas **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A 3D plastic model of a pineapple pizza similar to input. //Note: I really don't like what 914 is implying with this — Researcher Vivic// **Input:** The last output. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A 3D plastic model of a meat lovers pizza similar to input. //Note: Now this is much better, even if it's plastic. — Researcher Vivic// **Input:** Last Original 3D printed pizza **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** --A large freshly baked pre-sliced cheese pizza that looks extremely delicious-- A circular plastic disk sliced like a pizza with a visual Cognitohazard that convinces anyone who sees it in one piece that it is in fact a real pizza, the affect lasts 1 hour after exposure, D-11847 restrained by security and returned to cell. ----- **Test 914-0931** **Name:** Researcher Natasha **Date:** 20/17/2019 **Total Items:** Two clocks and one note reading "68DZ" **Input:** One clock and the above note **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A clock with 4 buttons on its side. When the buttons are pushed, it converts the time to a different numerical base. Determined after testing to have Senary, Octal, Decimal and Dozenal as the four options. ----- **Test 914-0932** **Name:** Dr. Steph **Date:** 20/07/2019 **Total items:** Three separate notes, all containing a different phrase. //Note: I know it's a machine, but I feel like I should introduce myself to it. And before you ask, no, I am not under any anomalous effects; people have done this before. -Dr. Steph// **Input:** A note that says "Hello 914, I'm Dr. Steph. It's nice to meet you!" **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** An origami butterfly. //Note: I expected something else. Might as well keep going. -Dr. Steph// **Input:** One note that says "I hope that we can conduct some great tests in the near future." **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** An origami clock. Ticking can be heard from the paper, although it cannot be recorded. Presumed to be a cognitohazard. Incinerated. **Input:** One note that says "I would also like to apologize for not introducing myself earlier." **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** The same note that was inserted, but upon viewing, causes the reader to immediately apologize to SCP-914 for something that they did. The note was incinerated by security. //Note: That still went better than expected. - Dr. Steph// ------ **Test 914-0933** **Name:** Researcher Laskenta; D-19232 **Date:** 22/07/2019 **Total Items:** One sheet of paper, containing the full documentation of [[[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-000 |SCP-000]]] one flash-drive, containing the full documentation of SCP-000. ##white|What is that?## **Input:** The sheet of paper **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A sheet of paper, containing a detailed explanation of array indices, claiming that all arrays should start at negative fourteen (-14). ##white|What did it say?## //Note: The article is well written and defends its point of view very well. -Laskenta// ##white|Is it gone?## **Input:** The flash-drive **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** The same flash-drive. It only contains coordinates of a place in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. An exploration team has been sent to the postion to acquire information. As soon as the team arrived, the coordinates changed to another place within the Pacific Ocean. This procedure was repeated four times. Researcher Laskenta hypothesizes that the coordinates always point to an area without anything of relevance, effectively representing a geographic null pointer. Result has been placed in anomalous storage. ##white|DID YOU COME ONLY TO LEAVE?## ---- **Test 914-0934** **Name:** Dr. Greene **Date:** 23/07/2019 **Total Items:** One metal claw hammer, heavily rusted and one can of [REDACTED] brand rust remover. //Note: I wanted to see if 914 can repair objects. This hammer was discarded a while ago, so I decided to put it to use. -Dr. Greene// **Input:** Hammer, rust remover **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One model car. When observed, the metal appears to shift between completely rust-free and heavily rusted. If a section of the car is seperated, it still retains its form shifting properties. ----- **Test 914-0935** **Name:** Junior Researcher McLaif, D-17205 **Date:** 23/07/2019 **Total Items:** Five 1-liter graduated glass flasks of distilled water **Input:** One flask **Setting:** Rough **Output:** A pile of finely crushed glass and paint dissolved in a puddle of water. **Input:** One flask **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** One unmarked 1-liter flask, approximately 0.5 mL of paint, and 1 L of water shaped as a flask. When the output booth was opened, the water lost its shape and spread out on the floor of the booth. //Second test of the day and already I need a change of socks. To be fair, I don't know what I expected experimenting on water with 914. - Junior Researcher McLaif// **Input:** One flask **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One 1-liter graduated cylinder made of ice containing a mixture of molten and solid glass. //Looks like 914 transferred the energy of the water into the glass. Though it was a little difficult cleaning up the glass stuck to the floor... - Junior Researcher McLaif// **Input:** One flask **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A miniature glass statue of Auguste Rodin's //The Thinker//, filled with 1 liter of water at 1:7.20 scale. Contains a mild cognitohazard where the viewer feels compelled to sit down and think of their previous action. Effect lasts for approximately 17 minutes after viewing. Placed in anomalous storage. **Input:** One flask **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A perfectly smooth cube of a transparent material measuring 17.2 cm per side. Upon opening the output booth, the cube began expelling an unknown gas and began shrinking at a rate of 1 cm^^3^^/sec. This sublimation made retrieving the cube difficult, as the heat created by friction between the cube and D-17205's glove increased the gas produced under that area. Later analysis showed that the gas was a mixture of unusually cold water vapor and very fine glass particles, and the cube made of a water-silicon dioxide cubic structure. The cube does not sublime at temperatures below 200 degrees Kelvin. //Update:// The gas has an anomalous effect of condensing water vapor in the air onto any material it contacts approximately 7 hours after contact. The effect lasts for about 2 hours. //I was wondering why my lab coat was unusually wet when I came into my office this morning. At least the security footage captured when it started dripping on the floor. - Junior Researcher McLaif// ---- **Test 914-0936** **Name:** Junior Researcher Lenna S. Thayer **Date:** 23/07/2019 **Total Items:** Two SanDisk solid-state drives for desktop computers, all containing video files of all episodes of all four //Tamagotchi!// (2009-2015) series. **Input:** A SanDisk solid-state drive with 1 terabyte of space, containing video files of all the episodes of all four //Tamagotchi!// (2009-2015) series including //Yume Kira Dream//, //Miracle Friends//, and //GO-GO Tamagotchi!//. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A seemingly-unchanged SanDisk solid-state drive except for the files, containing .webm files of hundreds of Abkhaz-dubbed anime //Waga Shima de Oni Party!// episodes, but the anime series is not released nor has it ever existed. This drive also contained exactly three hundred .mp3 duplicates of a song //Hey Jude// by the Beatles but all played in reverse and having unique filenames. **Input:** A SanDisk solid-state drive with 1 terabyte of space and contained files duplicated from the first drive before refining. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A Kingston solid-state drive with exactly 900,488,372,224 (2×10^^12^^−2^^40^^) bytes of space, containing the following files: twenty screenshots of the first episode of //Kira Kira ★ Happy Hirake! Cocotama//, .mp4 files of the first 25 episodes of //Tamagotchi! Miracle Friends// with Gipuzkoan Basque subtitles, and a game named //King Lokria's Modern War// seemingly similar to //Wolfenstein// with its source code mainly coded in an assembly language. 90 minutes after installing the drive, the researcher has discovered an Easter egg of the game, which repeats a song //Sola// by Luis Fonsi but transposed up three quarter tones. With the exception of the case, the drive's temperature is kept constant within the range of 93 to 144 Kelvin regardless of the external temperature. //Note: Effortlessly avoided even mild frostbite on my hands. It's not a significantly flawed experiment. Finishing this, I requested the transfer of both drives to Site-15 for storage due to the lack of any serious errors and injuries encountered during testing. Recently, unfortunately, a senior researcher at Site-15 has deleted all the Hey Jude files due to an unexplained generation loss that rendered the files corrupted. - Lenna S. Thayer// ------ **Test 914-0937** **Name:** Dr. Cleveland **Date:** 23/07/2019 **Total Items:** One 1m by 1.5m map of the Pearl River Delta in southern China (Published by [REDACTED], a Hong Kong publisher), one 2m by 3m flag of the German Democratic Republic **Input:** Map of the Pearl River Delta **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A map of the aforementioned area, published by a Denver-based Foundation front company. Nuclear strikes are marked in Panyu, Guangzhou; near Daya Bay, Shenzhen; and Yuen Long, Hong Kong. Context unknown. **Input:** Flag of East Germany **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A map of the "Union of Brandenburg, Mecklenburg, and Silesia", with its western border at the Elbe River, and its eastern border at the Oder and Eastern Neisse Rivers. While not anomalous, no such nation exists or existed. ------ **Test 914-0938** **Name:** Doctor Mayo, D-39274 **Date:** 23/07/2019 **Total Items:** One bottle of [REDACTED] brand glass and steel cleaner, one bottle of [REDACTED] screen cleaner and one can of [REDACTED] brand compressed air. //Note: All of my previous tests have been fairly structured with a set of identical inputs on all five settings. I'm specifically going for very fine upgrades of typical cleaning products to see if 914 will do what it has in the past and produce useful outputs. - Doctor Mayo// **Input:** One bottle of [REDACTED] brand glass and steel cleaner **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One bottle of "914 brand clear view glass and steel cleaner". The output when used will cause any steel/metallic surfaces to become completely reflective as though observing a mirror. When used on glass, it causes the glass to be completely transparent. Any attempt to sully the surfaces of the affected materials is met with failure and is immediately reflected upon the user. The bottle and the liquid has been disposed of. //Note: When D-39274 attempted to use a permanent marker on the glass after a few minutes of using various markers turned to face me with their front and face completely covered in overlapping lines and drawings. I was planning to have them attempt to break the glass and cut the steel slips but as it would most likely result in the death of D-39274 before the experiments are concluded I will come back once the testing is completed. - Doctor Mayo// //Note: I will be skipping the test with the screen cleaner as I only have Foundation monitors to test with to avoid any possible damage to the equipment, as I think it may provide a similar output to the glass cleaner. - Doctor Mayo// **Input:** One can of [REDACTED] brand compressed air **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One "914 brand air cannon". The can reads: "A cannon in a can, air the nozzle at the offending dirt and watch it be blown away" The plastic straw used for the normal airflow has been shortened and widened to 5cm in diameter. The testing area was cleared apart from D-39274 who was instructed to fire at a target set up across the room. When D-39274 fired they were visibly blown backwards and the air pressure in the room was recorded at 12.79 PSI. When the can was retrieved from the remains of D-39274 it was found to still be weighted as though it could be used more than once. The can has been put into secure storage and the maintenance team are working to remove the embedded target fragments from the wall. //Note: As the final test resulted in the death of D-39274, I will not be completing the test of destroying the glass and steel slips used in the first set of testing, and placing them into anomalous storage. - Doctor Mayo// ----- **Test 914-0939** **Name:** Junior Researcher Kai, D-37610 **Date:** 23/07/2019 **Total Items:** One plastic perfume bottle, labelled as containing a home-made pepper spray, five glass tumblers //Note: For those who are interested in non-lethal self-defence, the recipe is as follows:// || Mix 15g of propylene glycol dicaprylate with 15g propane-1,2,3-triyl tris(2-ethylhexanoate) and add 1g of distilled water. Point and spray. || **Input:** One bottle of Kai's pepper spray **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Unchanged bottle, now labelled as containing "Dar-Be-Gone", which upon initial analysis appeared to have a similar chemical composition to most insecticides. //Note: Confiscated by Dr. Veritas. - Kai// **Input:** Five glass tumblers **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Five glass spheres capable of anomalous locomotion, neutralised //Note: When the booth opened, D-37610 reported seeing five glass spheres that appeared visually similar to translucent marbles. They rolled out of the booth before D-37610 could react and cracked once hitting the ground, stopping all movement. On a side note, that was a pretty good pun. - Junior Researcher Kai// ---- [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 094X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 094X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0940** **Name:** Junior Researcher Griffith **Date:** 24/07/2019 **Total Items:** Five lead glass wine glasses //Note: I have heard of the damage some of the outputs from 914 can cause. Hopefully, something simple will avoid that, because I'd rather not die on my first day here. - Junior Researcher Griffith// **Input:** One wine glass **Setting:** Rough **Output:** A melted pile of slag and a small cloud of fluorine gas which dissipated upon opening of the output chamber //Note: First input and nothing bad has occurred. Off to a good start. - Junior Researcher Griffith// **Input:** One wine glass **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** Piles of 1 cm^^3^^ cubes, arranged by the type of compounds used in the leaded glass. Most of them crumbled upon retrieval. **Input:** One wine glass **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One scotch glass //Note: Everything seems to be normal, albeit a bit dull. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. - Junior Researcher Griffith// **Input:** One wine glass **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One crystal flute. When played the flute is tuned to an operatic soprano vocalist. The pitch was even throughout playing but at E6, the flute shattered. //Note: The note I played must have been at the right resonant tone for it to shatter. Interesting. - Junior Researcher Griffith// **Input:** One wine glass **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A small glass sphere, covered in faceting similar to that of the original crystal wine glass with a diameter of 8cm. Holding the sphere causes a sudden onset of lead poisoning symptoms, including abdominal pain, loss of concentration, dizziness, and fatigue. The symptoms gradually escalate depending on extended physical contact. After releasing the output, symptoms dissipate in 60 minutes. Gloves are noted to minimize the symptoms. Output placed in anomalous storage. //Note: Well, my first round of testing didn’t result in any deaths of any personnel, so I’d say that calls for a toast. When I find another set of crystalware. - Junior Researcher Griffith// //Note: She actually survived! Welcome to the team, Griffith. - Junior Researcher Kai// ---- **Test 914-0941** **Name:** Researcher Dan **Date:** 24/07/2019 **Total Items:** One airline ticket for Researcher Dan to Hawaii, seven blank airline tickets //Note: This is not duplication for personal gain, it's merely a work field trip for the broke - Researcher Dan// **Input:** Above **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Several small economy airline ticket from Site ██ for Researcher Darby. When Researcher Dan attempted retrieval they folded into paper airplane's reminiscent to C-130's and attempted to escape containment. Four were captured by staff, two were shot by onsite weapons, namely the H20-9000, and one escaped retrieval by entering the air vents and has presumably escaped. ------ **Test 914-0942** **Name:** Researcher Laskenta; D-19232 **Date:** 26/07/2019 **Total Items:** Three white Gömböc **Input:** One Gömböc **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A white roly-poly toy, with a higher-than-normal centre of mass, rendering it useless for its purpose. **Input:** One Gömböc **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A body with no stable point of equilibrium. It has yet to be proven if the output is anomalous or calculable by normal means. //Note: It is not possible to use the output as an infinite energy source, as it comes to halt as soon as anything other then the ground touches it.// **Input:** One Gömböc **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A sphere, with the same diameter of the input. Upon being touched by --organic matter-- a human, every application of kinetic force and the constant force due to gravity is transferred to the sphere, causing it to move towards the centre of the mass of the subject. D-19232, who tried to remove the sphere by himself after touching the output, suffered severe internal damage and blood loss after it penetrated their skin and flesh. Upon D-19232s death, the effect ceased and the sphere was contained in a wooden box. ---- **Test 914-0943** **Name:** Junior Researcher Kai **Date:** 28/07/2019 **Total Items:** Two boxes of parts from identical disassembled mechanical watches of ███████ brand //Note: Testing the probability of possibly getting useful things out of 914. - Kai// **Input:** One box of parts **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One box of parts, forming a miniature alarm clock after being assembled **Input:** One box of parts **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One miniature sundial fused together from the inputted parts, containing a minor cognitohazard that causes the wearer to insist that it tells the time as well as any mechanical watch //Note: I thought that was embarrassing, but I'm apparently anomalously able to tell the time accurately just by looking down at the sundial, even while indoors. Request to keep it? -Kai// //Note: Granted. - Veritas// ---- **Test 914-0944** **Name:** Junior Researcher Kai **Date:** 29/07/2019 **Total Items:** Six standard-issue analogue Foundation alarm clocks, --taken-- liberated from rooms of various researcher personnel **Input:** One alarm clock **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One “Bloody Mary” cocktail in a metal cup. Spectrometry shows that it is made from a suspension of various metal salts in the electrolyte from the battery included in the alarm clock and is therefore, unfit for consumption. //Note: I’m removing the batteries for the next few tests. - Junior Researcher Kai// **Input:** One alarm clock, battery removed **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One “914 Brand //Al//-ion” battery, size “CCC”. Original battery noted to be //Li//-ion and of AAA size. As no such battery exists, it is currently under reverse-engineering. **Input:** One alarm clock, battery removed **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One alarm clock, deemed to be sentient after vocalising repeatedly through anomalous means and demanding to be “placed into service” as soon as possible. Initially slightly damaged from Junior Researcher Kai’s dropping it on the floor after its initial vocalisation but irreparably damaged after being kicked across the testing chamber. Vocalisations have ceased and clock incinerated. **Input:** One alarm clock, battery removed **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One mechanical pencil, determined to be non-anomalous after testing //Note: No. I am not touching that. I don’t care what the lab staff say about whether it’s safe or not, I am never going to touch it. - Junior Researcher Kai// **Input:** One alarm clock, battery removed **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One wind-up music box, with a silent winding time of exactly 9 hours no matter how many times the handle is turned and plays the same alarm tune as the inputted clock after the music box winds down //Note: Perhaps 914 is telling us extremely stressed researchers about the importance of sufficient sleep. That said, may I extend my sleeping time to 9 hours from 8? - Junior Researcher Kai// //Note: It's not my problem you spend more time watching Friends than sleeping at night. Manage your free time properly. - Veritas// **Input:** One alarm clock, battery removed **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One alarm clock, determined to shoot small pieces of metal removed from its internal mechanisms when the alarm is set. Ran out of ammunition after the entire internal circuitry was removed, but continued to function as a working clock despite having been almost entirely hollowed on the interior. Transferred to anomalous storage. **Input:** Five AAA //Li//-ion batteries, removed from alarm clocks **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Five “914 Brand //Al//-ion” batteries, size “BBB”. Batteries are noted to be smaller than the “CCC” battery obtained earlier. As no such batteries exist, they are currently under reverse-engineering. ---- **Test 914-0945** **Name:** Junior Researcher Kai **Date:** 30/07/2019 **Total Items:** One paper-bag of exhaled air **Input:** Bag of air **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Unchanged bag of air and a tiny pile of soot, air determined to have higher oxygen content but with lower water vapour content //Note: 914 might be useful if we experience a containment breach of an airborne SCP and the air recycling system fails. - Junior Researcher Kai// //Note: Unpredictable outcomes mean that it's just as likely to make things worse. Wouldn't recommend. - Veritas// ---- **Test 914-0946** **Name:** Researcher Laskenta; D-40049 **Date:** 30/07/2019 **Total Items:** 3 standard "Facility 19-23" SCP Foundation PCs (without any data outside of the operating system) **Input:** One PC **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A "Site 23 Facility 19 PCs Foundation SCP" (ID: 000112339aCCLPPSs@@-----@@). Item is identical to the input, with the exception of transposed words and letters within the system which can not be reverted or changed by any means. These include: "SCP os" → "soS PC"; "Session will be terminated by external server after 5 minutes of inactivity." → "Terminated server will, after 5 minutes, be, by inactivity of external session." All commands can be used as normal. If any part of the result is removed and used in another machine, the effects will also show upon starting the object. The effects cease after removing the used part and stopping the machine. //Note: I was going to melt the output down, but Junior Researcher Drant showed interest in the output. -Laskenta// //I am requesting advanced tests under my supervision, to acquire more information about the transmission of anomalous effects, particularly when using parts that do normally not affect the function of a machine at all, for example, a screw in a computer. -Simon Drant, JR// **Input:** One PC **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A metal plate (1x1.2m) with small elevations on one side. These elevations run around the plate in curved lines. On areas with no elevation are green plastic figurines, allegorising trees and bushes. Small parts of the elevations glow in a faint yellow light, which move around on the elevation in an alternating speed. The source of the light and their movement is unknown and theorized to be anomalous. The lights intensity decreases slowly over time, too slow for the human eye. If the constant speed of recession does not change, all lights will cease within 21 years. **Input:** One PC **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Seven identical metallic objects reassembling mobile phones. Each device has a seventh of every component from the input. None of the devices work, as no component is properly connected. The result cannot be used and is non-anomalous. //Note: I tried to make PCs better; I got mobile devices and they do not work. That's pretty much my impression about technological history. I will keep one. - Laskenta// //Note: You're not keeping anything until they are thoroughly screened for anomalous viruses. Pick them up at anomalous storage if Rosen permits it. - Veritas// ----- **Test 914-0947** **Name:** Researcher Laskenta; D-40049 **Date:** 31/07/2019 **Total Items:** Three colourless magic cubes (3x3x3) **Input:** One cube **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** The same cube. The inspection has shown that the cube has been scrambled. **Input:** One cube **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A "ghost cube". While not having any colour, the size and form of the faces differ. //Note: Please note that a ghost cube is not incorporeal, but an existing puzzle. -Laskenta// **Input:** One cube **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A small round plate with four wheels and four buttons which span to both sides of the object. Upon turning the wheels, the short hand of the next 18 clocks (analogue & digital) move in the same fashion as the clocks on a Rubik's Clock would. Additionally, everybody but the user of the output in the same room as an affected clock will tell the time as shown on the clock, even when the subject has not looked at the clock. Subjects will be oblivious to every change on the clock and will state that they "said the same time one minute ago". When two affected clocks are in the same room, subjects will feel nauseous and have a strong urge to leave the room, or move all but one clock to another room. **Addendum:** Researcher Laskenta solved the puzzle at 2:52 am (18:52 UTC). Upon solving, the output revealed a cognitohazard on both sides which granted the solver the ability to set all clocks within the same room as the solver to a time they had spoken. This change has the same effect as the change of the test result has. Both the ability and the cognitohazard ceased after exactly 18 hours and 52 minutes. //Note: I also solved the puzzle at 19:37 and 05:19 UTC both resulting in the same effect which lasted for 19 hours 37 minutes and 5 hours 19 minutes respectively. -Laskenta// ----- **Test 914-0948** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 31/07/2019 **Total Items:** Two standard 3x3x3 [REDACTED]'s Cube puzzles, two "interlocking ring" puzzles consisting of three rings apiece. //Note: I wanted to test 914's problem-solving skills. See if it solves these in the proper method, solves them in a completely __improper__ method, or, as I'm guessing will be most likely, doesn't solve them at all. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** A cube. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A 5x5x5 cube puzzle. The colored stickers now have moving imagery on them instead. Upon solving the cube, the images are revealed to be a 3D rendering of the inside of a mechanical clock, with one side showing a clock face. The time shown on the clock matches the current time in Hungary, where the [REDACTED] was invented. **Input:** A cube. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A 3x3x3x3 tesseract puzzle. Object has been placed in storage due to its 4-dimensional nature being a natural visual and cognitive hazard; site director approval required for experimentation with the object. //Note: Just looking at that thing made my brain hurt. At least the clock was neat. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** A ring puzzle **Setting:** Fine **Output:** The same 3-ring puzzle, but the rings have been reshaped into the SCP Foundation's logo. **Input:** A ring puzzle **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Three rings, separated. Attempting to reconnect them to "reset" the puzzle results in the rings momentarily becoming intangible, falling through each other and whatever is holding them before landing on the floor, fully separated once again. //Note: Well, that's certainly __one__ way to solve such a puzzle, I guess... -Prof. Wren// ---- **Test 914-0949** **Name:** Dr. Sappho **Date:** 01/08/2019 **Total Items:** Three handmade 6-month calendars for 2018 (Jan-Jun, Jul-Dec) and 2019 (Jan-Jun). //Note: I haven't thrown these out yet because they were gifts from the site psychiatrist a few years ago. I'd hate to just throw them out; the sweetheart worked rather hard on these.- Dr. Sappho// //Note: Sappho is here visiting from Lunar Base ██. Every once in a while, they assign the base's workers to a mission here - Terra Firma - to counteract the negative effects of being in zero gravity for too long. We believe this may have skewed the results from 914. - Dr. Ira// **Input:** Jan-Jun 2018 calendar **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** The lyrics for Rocket Man by Elton John. Extra sheets of paper were folded neatly next to the lyrics. **Input:** Jul-Dec 2018 calendar **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Lunar Calendar for 2███. Of note are several dates marked in red sharpie for 'Congealment Dates' as referred to by a key. The standard Foundation logos are present in the bottom left corner of every page. Result was sent to the Temporal Anomalies division for storage. **Input:** Jan-Jun 2019 calendar **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** D-2240 was ordered to remove the completed calendar 15 minutes after the process completed. All images on the top portion of the calendar, the calendar's dates and month arrangement are now moving images caused by the ink on the pages moving around the pages. D-2240 expressed that the ink would avoid her hands as much as possible, pooling at the edges of the pages. Attempts to add ink to the pages have resulted in this being added to its total mass, giving it more ink to arrange on the page. D-2240 was asked to write down an important date on a random page of the calendar. D-2240 wrote down her wife's birthday. The ink moved off the page, and the date was filled in as appropriate automatically. When the date passed, the ink joined the upper page, animating along with the rest of the photo. //Note: Requesting to keep the output of this last result. Dr. Sapphos// //Note: Make sure you can handle it, then make sure someone knows. You're new, but I don't think that'll stop Veritas from coming after you for requesting so. Dr. Ira// //Note: Keep it, but let me know if it starts predicting the apocalypse or something. Hackett would be mad if I didn't let him know. - Veritas.// ------ [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 095X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 095X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0950** **Name:** Junior Researcher Kai, D-23191 **Date:** 02/08/2019 **Total Items:** Nine stacks of foolscap folio (sixty pages per stack), one broomstick and dustpan set **Input:** Nine stacks of foolscap folio **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Three and a half stacks of B3 paper //Note: Not quite what I was looking for. - Kai// **Input:** Three and a half stacks of B3 paper **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Eight stacks of letter paper **Input:** Eight stacks of letter paper **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Four stacks of A3+ paper //Note: British to American? That's interesting. - Kai// **Input:** Four stacks of A3+ paper **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Six and a half stacks of Shirokuban Large-size paper //Japanese now? I should have kept my mouth shut. - Kai// **Input:** Six and a half stacks of Shirokuban Large-size paper **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Two and a half stacks of A2 paper //Note: Thanks 914, I'll take what I can get. Anyone who is free can help to cut it. After the lab staff have made sure it's safe, of course. - Kai// **Input:** One broomstick and dustpan set **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One wood-plastic contraption visually similar to a vacuum cleaner without a dust bag. When D-23191 picked it up, he gained the ability to twirl the contraption, using his hands, with ease and began to sweep the floor of the testing chamber while spinning it with a single hand. However, D-23191 was unable to sustain the action for more than four minutes before dropping the contraption from exhaustion. The swept areas on the floor were noted to be cleaned of stains that would normally require chemical washing. After a period of five minutes, testing continued with a regular broomstick for comparison, but D-23191 was not able to twirl the regular broomstick in the same fashion as the output. //Note: I would say that's... somewhat useful, but only if you have superhuman endurance. Incinerated. - Kai// ---- **Test 914-0951** **Name:** Junior Researcher Kai **Date:** 06/08/2019 **Total Items:** One disassembled miniature pinball machine. **Input:** One disassembled table pinball machine **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One figurine composed of plastic and wood, appearing to hold a billiards cue, determined to be non-anomalous after testing. ---- **Test 914-0952** **Name:** Researcher Laskenta; D-40049 **Date:** 09/08/2019 **Total Items:** Four table tennis bats; Two table tennis balls //Note: Junior Researcher Kai and I were talking about table tennis and the physical performance of its players the other day, hence the input of this test. -Laskenta// **Input:** Two table tennis bats; One table tennis ball **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A figure representing a plump generic Chiroptera (bat) mostly made out of wood with chunks of celluloid. //Note: If one instance of SCP-504 were to be placed between me, the last test result, and SCP-914, could it even choose? -Laskenta// **Input:** Two table tennis bats; One table tennis ball **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** The same two bats, small missing pieces of red paint. The ball has been coloured with the paint of the bats to represent a tomato. Upon opening the output chamber, all items slowly floated to the center of the room to start a match of table tennis. The ball ricocheted between the bats and where a ping-pong table would have stood; the bats flew around as if they where held by two humanoid players with unnaturally high speed, strength, and constitution. The speed of the ball reached a peak of ~245km/h. After 46 minutes and 33 seconds the match ended with the ball being shot in the direction of the security camera with a speed of ~220km/h. This resulted in the total destruction of the ball and the armoured camera. The bats fell directly to the ground after the ball was destroyed. Results held no anomalous features afterwards. //Note to Dr. Veritas: My last pay check and the bill, which already went through accounting, lies on your desk at top of the second "Accidents" pile. -Laskenta// ---- **Test 914-0953** **Name:** Researcher Carter W. **Date:** 10/08/2019 **Total Items:** Four metronomes //I've been out of commission for the summer due to a family visit in Italy. I got a souvenir for you, Veritas - a bottle of wine! I figured you might need it due to the antics of Darby and the others. -Carter// **Input:** One metronome **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** One metronome needle, numerous gears, and about 0.5 kg of wood. **Input:** One metronome **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One metronome, with the maximum b.p.m. (beats per minute) being 224 rather than 220. **Input:** One metronome **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One metronome, with the anomalous effect of making anyone within 3 meters of it walk in perfect unison with the set beat. This also affects heartbeat. When the dial was turned to 220, the D-Class told to change the bpm suffered cardiac arrest after suffering from tachycardia and was rushed to the infirmary, where he was resuscitated. //Note: Was I in that staff picture with all the weird stuff, Lunar? The one that predicted the, er, loss of Erickson? -Carter// //Suggested Note: I have no idea, I'll need to find it. -Intern Lunar// ----- **Test 914-0954** **Name:** Assistant Researcher Takahashi **Date:** 10/08/2019 **Total Items:** Three vinyl records of varying artists **Input:** The first album, Elton John's //Goodbye Yellow Brick Road// **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** A pile of ground up polyvinyl chloride. //Note: I don't know what I expected. Of course it was gonna do this. - Assistant Researcher Takahashi// **Input:** The second album, Led Zeppelin's //Led Zeppelin IV// **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Seemingly unchanged album of //Led Zeppelin IV//, but the vocals are all spoken words. The instrumentals stayed the same, however. //Note: Hearing Stairway to Heaven spoken is a weird experience. I don't know how to describe it perfectly, but I guess it's like... a lukewarm shower. - Assistant Researcher Takahashi// **Input:** The third album, Queen's //A Night At The Opera.// **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Seemingly unchanged album of //A Night At The Opera// with the anomalous effect of causing anyone within a 7-meter radius to repeatedly ram their heads on the closest surface during //Bohemian Rhapsody//'s hard rock section. Researchers within its radius began to complain about sore necks and headaches. //Note: I almost threw up after writing this. I don't know whether to incinerate this or keep it to prank people, but I am NEVER doing that again when I'm within this thing's radius. - Assistant Researcher Takahashi// //Note: I was passing through the hallway when I heard Bohemian Rhapsody and decided to sing along. Then, I got the worst case of whiplash the medical team has ever seen throughout their tenure at this Facility. If I ever get my hands on that vinyl when I'm back from medical leave in a week, I will give your room an SCP classification with that played on **loop**. - Junior Researcher Kai// ---- **Test 914-0955** **Name:** Researcher Miniwa **Date:** 12/08/2019 **Total Items:** 15cm×23cm book of general physics. Contains information on various branches and laws of physics, including those which are fully understood (e.g. kinematics) to those which are still being researched. (e.g. quantum mechanics). **Input:** Above book **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** 15cm×23cm book of jokes, mostly physics-related and from a variety of time periods. No limits have been found to the type of joke, and samples are included below: [[=]] > Isaac Newton: //slaps roof of car// > Car: //slaps Isaac Newton// > Never trust an atom. > Why? > They make up //everything//. > pie ≈ g > You know, my physics teacher was right about the optical Doppler effect. > You see those cars? The lights of the ones approaching us are white, but the lights of the ones moving away from us are red. > If a regular cat has 9 lives, does a radioactive cat have 18 half-lives? [[/=]] //Note: Request for donation to the break room? It’s so good. - Junior Researcher Kai// //Note: Fine. - Veritas// ---- **Test 914-0956** **Name:** Prof. Wren **Date:** 13/08/2019 **Total Items:** Five pachinko machines, each carrying a load of 100 pachinko balls. //Note: The things people put on eBay these days. -Prof. Wren// **Input:** A pachinko machine. **Setting:** Rough **Output:** A pile of smashed pachinko machine parts, including a pile of molten metal consistent with the materials used in pachinko balls. **Input:** A pachinko machine. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** A fully disassembled pachinko machine, including a hopper full of pachinko balls. **Input:** A pachinko machine. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A pachinko-themed pinball machine. One game costs 100¥. The pachinko balls have been merged into 12 pinballs, visible in a dispenser tube at the top of the game. //Note: Well, the money requirement makes keeping this in our break room kind of a non-deal. Perhaps we should transfer this to where [[[scp-261 | that weird vending machine]]] is kept? -Prof. Wren// **Input:** A pachinko machine. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A pachinko machine with an altered layout. No anomalous properties detected. //Note: Wait...That's it? -Prof. Wren// **Input:** A pachinko machine. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A disc-shaped pachinko machine, hovering at a distance of 0.2m to 0.24m above the ground. Game operates without need for electricity. The game is played by inserting a pachinko ball into the top and then rotating the disc clockwise or counterclockwise to maneuver the ball through various obstacles to reach the center. //Note: Okay, now __this__ is fun. -Prof. Wren// ---- **Test 914-0957** **Name:** Dr. Steph **Date:** 16/08/2019 **Total Items:** One cardboard box, 30cm long, 20cm wide, and 25cm high, with a note attached that reads "Schrödinger's cat." **Input:** The aformentioned items **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A cardboard origami cat, with the same mass as the inserted box. Note is crumpled up next to the cat. When picked up, it has a 50% chance of instantly killing the person who touched it via cardiac arrest. The cardboard cat killed two guards, but left Dr. Steph alive. Item was collected by D-Class personnel and later incinerated. //Note: Dr. Steph is temporarily suspended for gross incompetence, and has 14 days to think about what constitutes as a terrible testing idea. - Veritas.// ---- **Test 914-0958** **Name:** Junior Researcher Kai, D-46701, D-61483, D-17939 , D-24237 **Date:** 18/08/2019 **Total Items:** Three teabags (one Earl Grey, one Chamomile, one English Breakfast) **Input:** Earl Grey teabag **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Leaf-shaped cloth with property of causing severe muscle cramps in individuals that come into contact with it via anomalous introduction of extreme levels of bergapten into the bloodstream. //Note: D-46701 and D-61483 rendered unable to continue testing, returned to D-class chambers. - Junior Researcher Kai// **Input:** Chamomile teabag **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Unchanged teabag which gives an indefinite number of cups of tea made from it. Found to anomalously reduce drinkers' blood sugar levels by 30-40%. //Note: Upon drinking, the tea induced hypoglycaemia in D-17939, who has diabetes and had taken insulin an hour prior to the experiment. Currently in medical bay awaiting results of evaluation of health and ability to continue testing. We will continue with the final experiment for now. - Junior Researcher Kai// **Input:** English Breakfast teabag **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A miniature replica of SCP-3560-J that attempted to attack D-24237 upon retrieval. Was destroyed by Security Personnel with water guns and resulted in multiple puddles of tea around the testing chamber. //Note: Ethical ramifications of using a sapient being as a teabag currently under debate by the Ethics Committee. - Junior Researcher Kai// //Conclusion: I’m guessing that if 914 was an actual person, he or she wouldn’t be a big fan of tea. Also, I’m noting that tea-related experiments generally tend to result in high injury or fatality rates among testing personnel, especially if they are D-class. Recommending researchers to avoid similar tests for the next few weeks. - Junior Researcher Kai// ------ **Test 914-0959** **Name:** Researcher Laskenta; D-40049 **Date:** 19/08/2019 **Total Items:** Several damaged external memory devices //Note: Like last time, all used items belong to Foundation personnel, who asked me to retrieve their data. Since all data-recovery failed and the data is not important enough to use other anomalous machinery, I will use 914 as my very last attempt to get the files back. - Laskenta// **Input:** A Foundation optical storage (CD-ROM; 12cm; 900MiB), with two scratches on the readable side **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A 7cm wide cog made out of polycarbonate coated with aluminium. It jolts forward --at irregular intervals-- at high speeds (estimated peak: 7.5m/s). The object repeats its pattern of jolting after 2048 jolts. //Note: I will set up a camera to record the pattern of sudden movements, as it might be a binary code that is repeated. -Laskenta// **Addendum:** After approximately 400 jolts, once recording began, the test result lunged itself with a speed of 7.5m/s into the recording camera and exploded. The only damaged items are the recording device and the output, which have been incinerated by the explosion. Result held no anomalous properties afterwards. //Note: My outputs seem to either like or hate recording devices so much they explode. Luckily that camera was bought by me. No need to go to accounting. -Laskenta// **Input:** A Foundation optical storage (CD-ROM; 12cm; 900MiB), with a single crack radiating outward from the centre, approximately 4cm long **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A Möbius loop, made out of polycarbonate coated with aluminium. An inspection with a microscope has showed that it holds "pits" and "lands" like a CD would. Any attempt to read the data will result in anomalously reaching an end of the Möbius loop, which can only be perceived by the reading device. This effect will activate after 32 bits are read, no matter where the recording starts. The 4 read bytes (32 bits) will always be "01000101 01001111 01000011 01000100", which can be read as "EOCD". **Input:** A Foundation ID-Card (Guest clearance level 3, belonging to Dr. H████ D████████████), with a ripped magnetic strip and a functional microcircuit **Setting:** Fine **Output:** The input, with a microscopically small clockwork in the place of the microcircuit. Due to being directly connected to the card, the clockwork is not able to be turned, without either breaking the cogs, or ripping the card. The clockwork has no apparent input or output and putting it into motion would only result in every part to be moved. The result has no other changes and is non-anomalous. //Note: While every clockmaker would be impressed by its latest work, 914 has once again improved the object without achieving the desired result. That being said, I will test both remaining outputs again for any unknown features. -Laskenta// ---- [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 096X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 096X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0960** **Name:** Researcher Vil **Date:** 20/08/2019 **Total Items:** One ████ ███ brand blank sketchpad. //Note: Greetings everyone, I have recently been transferred here and will now perform my first test.// **Input:** The aforementioned item **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** //Darby's Misadventures in Site-19 Facility-23, Vol.1// comic book //Note: Looks like it went well. I'll perform more tests in the future if time wills. By any chance, does a certain "Darby" exist here? Also, I'm formally requesting Dr. Veritas to let me keep this book and reproduce it for everyone to read. - Researcher Vil// //Note: Finally, some Darby-related reading material. Perhaps we could donate this to the break room and use excerpts for a "Things Not To Do At Site-19" guide? - Junior Researcher Kai// //Note: Granted. - Veritas// ---- **Test 914-0961** **Name:** Junior Researcher Kai **Date:** 20/08/2019 **Total Items:** Four tridents cast from bronze, one necklace pendant made of glass //Note: Managed to grab these at a garage sale. Perhaps it's just wishful thinking, but I really hope we can get something useful out of these. - Junior Researcher Kai// **Input:** One trident **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One bident, with the original central spike transferred to the bottom of the shaft **Input:** One trident **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One pike, with the original side spikes shifted by 90° //Note: So far so good. Let's move it up to Fine. - Junior Researcher Kai// **Input:** One trident **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One trident, capable of firing spikes when swung //Note: Apparently, the spikes can be reattached. If we blunt them, this might actually be a really fun form of somewhat-safe recreation. Let's see what we can get with Very Fine. - Junior Researcher Kai// **Input:** One trident **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One trident, capable of absorbing minute amounts of bioelectricity within the body and redirecting it as static electricity between the spikes //Note: One of the D-class who tested it tried to use too much of his own bioelectricity in an attempt to charge and attack the security personnel before suffering from cardiac arrest. This serves as a reminder that your heartbeat is partially controlled by bioelectricity. - Junior Researcher Kai// **Input:** One glass pendant **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One glass chain, noted to be of extremely-high detail and currently unable to be reproduced by modern technology. ---- **Test 914-0962** **Name:** Weapons Researcher Grizelle Markham **Date:** 20/08/2019 **Total Items:** One Colt 1851 Navy Revolver with an SCP Foundation logo printed on the grip, one photo of Researcher Markham. **Input:** Colt Revolver **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One IMI Desert Eagle pistol with the logo of the Global Occult Coalition printed on. Viewing the pistol causes the viewer to be aware of all information regarding of the United Nations and all of its affiliates. //Note: No, just no. I don't want to know what the WHO is doing with respect to Ebola. Nor the reason why the GOC decided on assaulting a Foundation lab in New Jersey on July 9, 1992. - Markham// **Input:** Photo of Researcher Markham **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A photo of Dr. Veritas and --an unknown woman-- the Grizzly entity drinking Martinis in Inverness, Scotland. The photo, dated 15/07/2019, animates every four hours, detailing a conversation between the two. Researcher Markham is only visible during the last fourteen seconds of the conversation, ordering a glass of [REDACTED] brand whisky. //Note: Okay, I do love whisky myself, but who exactly is she? There's literally no record of whoever this is outside Facility 23. - Markham// ---- **Test 914-0963** **Name:** Junior Researcher McLaif, D-74652 **Date:** 21/08/2019 **Total Items:** One shuffled set of ██████-brand rotating puzzle cubes, ranging in size from 2x2 to 7x7. //Note: It has been observed in the past that 914 is capable of playing games such as chess. This test will focus on whether 914 can solve rotating puzzle cubes. -McLaif// **Input:** One 2x2 cube. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A solved cube. **Input:** One 3x3 cube. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A shuffled █████-brand 3-layered pyramid rotation puzzle, commonly known as a Pyraminx. Successfully solved by D-74652. **Input:** One 4x4 cube. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A solved cube with all edge pieces flipped. All attempts to completely solve the output cube have failed. //Note: 4x4 cubes and larger have edge parity, where a cube's edge piece is flipped from normal. It seems that 914 has picked up on this. And made this set of cubes forever unsolved. -McLaif// **Input:** One 5x5 cube. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A shuffled █████-brand dodecahedral rotation puzzle, also known as a Megaminx, with black stickers and colored pieces. The output puzzle is non-anomalous and solvable, but difficult due to the inverted colors. //Note: I had considered peeling off the stickers of the output, because it's essentially a stickerless cube/puzzle at this point. -McLaif// //Note: 914 is currently at two unsolved and two solved outputs. This may just be due to 914's inherent unpredictability. It also seems that if 914 turns the puzzle into a different form, it does not solve it. This last puzzle will help determine if this is the case. -McLaif// **Input:** One 6x6 cube. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** --The unchanged input.-- A shuffled 6x6 bandaging rotating cube puzzle. Certain pieces on the cube, such as a conjoined pair of an edge piece and a corner piece, prevent the cube from rotating in certain directions. The bandaged pieces are shuffled and not solved, rendering the puzzle impossible to be 100% solved. //Note: I have placed all the outputs into the break room. Please note that the 4x4's edge pieces are unsolvable, and the 6x6 has a few unsolved, bandaged pieces. -McLaif// ---- **Test 914-0964** **Name:** Intern Walker **Date:** 21/08/2019 **Total Items:** Three copies of SCP-914's file **Input:** SCP-914's File **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A file describing one 'Clockwork-chan' The file describes a tall, Caucasian female with orange hair and red eyes. She has no booths, instead her mouth [DATA EXPUNGED]. She is described as being snarky, and playing pranks on the researchers that operate her. She is described to have a crush on Maintenance Technician Johnson, and enjoys torturing Researcher Darby, perhaps out of spite. The testing logs seem have remained the same, save for additional dialogue and [DATA EXPUNGED] Furthermore, the character [DATA EXPUNGED] //Tests 2 and 3 were canceled with extreme prejudice by order of Dr. Veritas, Dr. Hackett and the Ethics Committee.// **Notes from various personnel:** //Note: I just read some of the testing logs. Yes, they are similar to the real logs, but it felt like I was reading [REDACTED] instead of an official foundation document. I think I'm going to enjoy burning this to ash. - Intern Walker// //Note: I read through some of the logs in my free time. I'll be back after getting my hands on as many amnestics as possible. Afterwards, I'll join Walker in burning those cursed texts. - Dr. Steph// //Note: I'll personally see to it that every trace of this is destroyed. Failure to cooperate in voluntary amnestic administration will result in termination. - Veritas// //Note: I've already burned it, sir. I'll gladly take an amnestic, though. - Intern Walker// ---- **Test 914-0965** **Name:** Junior Researcher Kai, D-90313 **Date:** 21/08/2019 **Total Items:** Sixteen feather dusters of █████████ brand, one note with "Be creative!" written on it **Input:** Sixteen feather dusters, one note **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One tightly-compressed ball of feathers and one equally-sized plastic sphere //Note: D-90313 picked up the ball of feathers and began laughing and shivering slightly. She later described the experience of being "tickled all over the body by feathers" while holding the ball. After picking up the plastic sphere, D-90313 yelled out loud and dropped the ball. When questioned, she claimed to have felt a "sudden hit from a cane-like object". I theorise that the two outputs are the cognitohazardous equivalents of the two non-standard functions of a feather duster - to tickle people with the feathers and to hit people with the handle. I honestly expected the spheres to explode or do something equally dangerous, not to get a tickle ball and a punish ball for children. I’m going to get some Tylenol now for the stress. On a related note, the feather ball has been donated to the break room for recreation purposes. - Junior Researcher Kai// ---- **Test 914-0966** **Name:** Researcher Laskenta; D-47565 **Date:** 21/08/2019 **Total Items:** A USB flash drive containing the source code and documentation of Java 8 **Input:** The flash drive **Setting:** Fine **Output:** The same flash drive. After physically connecting the result to a computer, all liquids within ten meters from it are replaced with ~303-313 Kelvin hot coffee. D-47565's blood, who plugged in the device, fell victim to this effect, causing massive internal bleeding. Subject survived and recovered within eight days. Medical examination is ongoing to ascertain how D-47565 can survive with non-anomalous coffee in their circulatory system. The flash drive is only accessible by a "Solaris 8" system and contains no data. Reading the bytes on a "Solaris 8" system results in [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudocode pseudocode] for replacing all liquids in the range of ten meters with coffee. ---- **Test 914-0967** **Name:** WR Grizelle Markham **Date:** 21/08/2019 **Total Items:** Three 5.56 NATO bullets, three notes reading "United States", "Indiana", and "556" respectively. **Input:** One 5.56 NATO bullet, note reading "556" **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A miniature model of a Boeing 707-323C plane, of the same model as SCP-556, paint included. The output note is crumpled, and blank. **Input:** One 5.56 NATO bullet, note reading "United States" **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A 7.62 Soviet round, and a note reading "Советский Союз" ("Soviet Union" in Russian). Testing determined that the bullet is hollow, and whenever fired, will fly at the direction of the youngest person from any NATO member state, often damaging the gun used. **Input:** One 5.56 NATO bullet, note reading "Indiana" **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Two items: # A metal plate. Engraved on it was an log describing an incident involving the SCP-1137 research team (including then-Indiana state senator Huey Joel Deckard), the Serpent's Hand, and the American Nazi Party on 19/05/1973. # A handwritten list of assets (mainly secure facilities and non-sapient SCPs) controlled by the Foundation. Those being frozen as indemnities are marked with the ISO 3166 code of 83 countries and territories, plus an unallocated code "JS" identifying Somaliland. The handwriting is consistent with that of SCP-134, and the Seal of Virginia is visible at the bottom. The corresponding history where the incident happened led to the world experiencing an LK-class "Lifted Veil" scenario in the mid-2020s after a devastating war involving nuclear, chemical, and [REDACTED] weapons, and the global population being reduced to 4.8 billion. Due to their intense involvement in the war, the SCP Foundation, Global Occult Coalition, and Marshall, Carter and Dark filed for bankruptcy protection between 2030 and 2035. ---- **Test 914-0968** **Name:** Dr. S. Matism and Guest Researcher D. Matism **Date:** 23/08/2019 **Items:** 5 copies of Goldeneye 007 for N64 //Note: This was my daughter's favorite game during her childhood, so she wanted to do something with it. I convinced Veritas to let her use 914 - Dr. Matism// //Note: Settings Rough and Coarse have been removed for brevity.// **Input:** One copy of Goldeneye 007 **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One copy of MarioKart 64 **Input:** One copy of Goldeneye 007 **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One copy of ''007: Tomorrow Never Dies'' for the Playstation 1 console. **Input:** One copy of Goldeneye 007. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One watch made of aluminum, polycarbonate, and common plastic that is powered by an unknown source. When the watch is viewed by the wearer by raising their arm to eye level, reportedly, all surroundings cease movement. From the outside, the wearer is unresponsive and unable to be manipulated by any tools attempted so far. Notably, the watch is non-functional. //Note: Archived in anomalous object storage - Dr. Matism// ---- **Test 914-0969** **Name:** Dr. Zavalosa **Date:** 26/08/2019 **Total Items:** One battery-operated radio boxes, two AA batteries //Note: I’ve been reading through the extensive test logs and I want to try something myself. - Dr Zavalosa// **Input:** One battery-operated radio box with two AA batteries inserted, the radio is turned on, with the current station playing an advertisement **Setting:** Fine **Output:** --One box television, powered from an anomalous source, playing the same advertisement as the radio with added visuals-- One box television that can neither be turned off nor can be switched from the current channel in any way. Channel plays non-stop advertisements from an unknown source. //Note: The advertisement that was being played on the radio happened to be the irritatingly catchy "Down Down Prices Are Down!" ad by Coles. Perhaps in the refining process, the ad was an important quality to fixate on, or it focused on that because I myself was thinking about the irritating catchiness of the ad. This does give me an idea for further experiments, however. - Dr. Zavalosa// //Note: Destroyed by firearm and subsequent incineration. - Veritas// //Note: I'd like to remind personnel not to leave their results in testing areas. - Security Chief Sedna// ---- [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 097X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 097X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0970** **Name:** Junior Researcher Kai **Date:** 26/08/2019 **Total Items:** Three bottles of Class-A amnestics, three bottles of Class-B amnestics, three bottles of Class-C amnestics //Note: I managed to requisition the Class-C amnestics from the medical bay. Thanks, Dr. Veritas.// **Input:** One bottle of Class-A amnestic **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One bottle of vodka, 55% ABV //NA symbol of my thanks, Dr. Veritas. - Junior Researcher Kai// **Input:** One bottle of Class-A amnestic **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One bottle of amnestic, labelled "Ordo-α". Spectrometry gave inconclusive results and testing was evaluated to be not worth the risk. Output incinerated. **Input:** One bottle of Class-A amnestic **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One empty bottle, surrounded by a fine mist of amnestic of unknown composition. Junior Researcher Kai attempted to pick up the bottle but failed repeatedly to complete the action. Output retrieved mechanically and incinerated. //What? I thought I was going to pick up the bottle? Why is it still in the booth? - Junior Researcher Kai// **Input:** One bottle of Class-B amnestic **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One bottle of Class-Darby amnestic //This seems ominous. Someone please check where Researcher Darby is currently posted. - Junior Researcher Kai// **Input:** One bottle of Class-B amnestic **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One syringe, made of the same plastic as the bottle and filled with unchanged Class-B amnestic. When the syringe is filled with any liquid, the contents are instantly converted via anomalous means to an equal volume of a suspension of Class-B amnestic in a third of the original liquid. Output incinerated. //That's useful, but not enough. I don't think the medical team can afford the time and resources to purify the amnestics obtained from it. - Junior Researcher Kai// **Input:** One bottle of Class-B amnestic **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** --One Class-B amnestic of bottle-- One small tablet, determined to have a cognitohazard carved on both sides that induces hallucinations of all pill-shaped objects to be perceived as bottles of Class-B amnestics. Output incinerated. **Input:** One bottle of Class-C amnestic **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One bottle of vodka, 89% ABV //Donated to medical bay for sterilisation purposes. - Junior Researcher Kai// **Input:** One bottle of Class-C amnestic **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One --inanimate-- plastic statue. Later determined to attack any person within a four-metre radius that lies about something. Output incinerated after severe injuries [DATA EXPUNGED] personnel who shouted, "I'm not going to shoot it!" when it attempted [DATA EXPUNGED] **Input:** One bottle of Class-C amnestic **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One torn page documenting the "Veritas Spell", found to be removed anomalously from SCP-239's "spell book". Upon discovery of this fact, both Site-19 and Site-17 were placed under lockdown and a thorough evaluation of SCP-239's containment procedures was made before it was determined to be SCP-914 that had somehow accessed Site-17's document archives. It is currently unknown how SCP-914 acquired the page, as the original "spell book" was destroyed in the aftermath [DATA EXPUNGED] and virtual access to the surviving copies is only available through the Site-17 intranet database. A text copy of the page is available as inserted below: > Veritas Spell - Makes people tell the truth! > > Simply say Veritas to someone and you will make the person very sleepy and willing to tell the truth! Careful, don't abuse it. //No more testing with amnestics. Not in a very long time. - Junior Researcher Kai// ---- **Test 914-0971** **Name:** Dr. Zavalosa **Date:** 27/08/2019 **Total Items:** Three battery-operated radio boxes, six AA batteries **Input:** One battery-operated radio box with two AA batteries inserted, the radio is on, currently playing an advertisement //Note: The experiment was suspended until the station moved on from advertisements to play “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus. - Dr. Zavalosa// **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One Smart mini-fridge with no brand to speak of, powered from an anomalous source. The touch screen is unresponsive and plays the music video of “Old Town Road” on loop endlessly. The fridge does not appear to refrigerate anything placed within it. The fridge has been melted down with no further anomalies to report. **Input:** One battery-operated radio box with two AA batteries inserted, the radio is on, currently playing assorted pop songs //Note: The experiment was suspended until the station moved on to an evening talk show program. - Dr. Zavalosa// **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One transparent tinted sheet of plastic with copper filings encased within the plastic. The metal filings float within the plastic via anomalous means, creating an imitation of a news talk show. No audio can be heard coming from the talk show on the plastic. The sheet can be bent but cannot be damaged, the filings can be pushed around, but quickly corrects back into the imitation. Further analysis shows that the sheet is a real-time feed of the 24/7 Fox News talk show. //Note: While the medium where the content was displayed on has vastly changed, 914's refining process kept what is being played on the radio at the time. My theory regarding what the operator of SCP-914 is focusing on to be an important factor in the refining process now has more evidence to back it up. - Dr. Zavalosa// //Note: The sheet has passed cognitohazard and memetic testing. I'm going to be leaving it in the break room in case someone wants to watch the 24/7 Fox News show - Dr. Zavalosa// //Note: I don't think anyone here wants to watch Fox News longer than it takes to pick up the remote, Zavalosa. - Veritas// //Note: I want to test my results again. If I have managed to find a method to control 914’s output, it would be important to ensure that results are repeatable in accordance with the scientific method. - Dr. Zavalosa// **Input:** One battery-operated radio box with two AA batteries inserted, the radio is on, currently playing the same evening talk show as before **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A set of miniature animate Teletubbies made from plastic and copper. Upon opening the Output booth, the teletubbies marched out and circled Dr. Zavalosa, singing the Teletubbies theme song, before sitting down and becoming inanimate. //Note: What on earth? - Dr. Zavalosa// //You're new, I presume? Don't worry, you'll get used to it. - Junior Researcher Kai// ---- **Test 914-0972** **Name:** Dr. Leon. **Date:** 27/08/2019 **Total items:** A 2020-2021 calendar and five pencils **Input:** All items described above **Setting:** Fine **Output:** The same calendar with what seem like dates, events and general notes in an unknown language and/or script, wood snippets from laser cut pencils. //Note: I am scared to find out what it reads, because the events from the previous test were correct. Should we really translate this? -Dr. Leon// //Note: Confirmed. The more we know, the better we can prepare for it. - Hackett// ---- **Test 914-0973** **Name:** Dr. Zavalosa, D-7246 **Date:** 27/08/2019 **Total Items:** One prototype SCRAMBLE visor //Note: I’m quite happy to have obtained this piece of tech. SCRAMBLE visors were initially made to contain SCP-096, but modern versions have advanced to also protect its user against cognitohazards and memetic dangers. Truly a marvel of engineering - Dr. Zavalosa// **Input:** Above **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A visually unchanged visor. When equipped, user reports to see nothing through it ‘like being blindfolded’ //Note: I’m familiar with how dangerous SCP-914 can be, so I requested a Class-D to retrieve and test the visor. Still, this is highly disappointing, the only improvement the visor has is to be able to sleep easier while wearing it. - Dr. Zavalosa// //Note: The Memetics department have reported that the visor does have an effect. The visors will stream cognitohazards in the field of view of user, and only cognitohazards, this also includes hazards behind walls or in containment to a range of ███ meters. D-7246 was terminated after being afflicted with [DATA EXPUNGED]. I wonder if the visor's effect extends to SCP-096’s face, but I don’t think I want to be proven right - Dr. Zavalosa// ---- **Test 914-0974** **Name:** Researcher Laskenta; D-40049; D-94004 **Date:** 27/08/2019 **Total Items:** One pair of glasses, without correction; One printed article about ███, a company that creates ''smart glasses''. //Note: An acquaintance of mine showed me a --German-- Austrian news report about them and their plan to replace smartphones within five years. This is a very high set bar; I am sure 914 has something to contribute to this. -Laskenta// **Input:** Mentioned items **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** The same items. The glasses were not found inside the output booth, but rather on top of the selection panel. Testing showed that putting on the glasses will result in a cognitohazardous effect, affecting every humanoid life form that is perceived by the subject through the glasses. Affected life forms will feel the need to mention "what wonderful glasses they are" and that they "are going to change everything". Pointing out the position of the glasses, will make them teleport on top of the person, who stated the position. The new wearer will be oblivious to the new position and the effect, and the glasses will anomalously stay on top of the subject until removed by somebody else. The article was found to be unchanged and non-anomalous. Both items have been incinerated. --Items held no anomalous feature afterwards.-- //Note: It was as amusing as it was tiring to watch D-40049 and D-94004 repeat themselves over and over again, both stating that they can see the goggles on top of the other one. -Laskenta// //Addendum:// In a conversation between Researcher Laskenta and Junior Researcher Drant, Researcher Laskenta stated: "Yes, [the glasses] have been [incinerated]. In the incinerator.", upon which the glasses reappeared on top of Researcher Laskenta. The glasses seem to be able to reform and repair themselves as long as the near exact position of destruction is mentioned while referring to the output. Junior Researcher Drant has destroyed the test result again at an unknown location and applied Class A amnestics to himself. ---- **Test 914-0975** **Name:** Researcher Tsumiki Miniwa **Date:** 27/08/2019 **Total Items:** One figurine each of "Guido Mista", "Noriaki Kakyoin", "Hierophant Green", "The World" and six figurines of "███ Pistols", numbered one through seven, skipping four. All figurines are from the anime/manga series "JoJo's Bizarre Adventures”. **Input:** One figurine of The World **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One figurine of Star Platinum **Input:** One figurine of Guido Mista, six figurines of ███ Pistols **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One animated figurine of Guido Mista. Before attempting to capture it, security personnel were warned of the abilities of the ███ Pistols. Each of the six figurines can ride bullets and can subsequently kick the bullet to control its motion, giving the appearance of the bullets changing direction midair and “bouncing off thin air". Animated figurine was captured by precisely a team of five security personnel before being incinerated. //I picked exactly five security personnel for capturing the figurine because I know that Mista in JoJo is afraid of the number four. Makes it easier on security in case it decided to overreact. - Miniwa// **Input:** One figurine of Noriaki Kakyoin, one figurine of Hierophant Green **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One animated figurine of Noriaki Kakyoin and a painting of Researcher Miniwa. The figurine struck the painting on the knee, which immediately gave Researcher Miniwa a scratch on the knee. Both objects incinerated after a hole was put through the figurine's chest by Researcher Miniwa's request. //Note: And 914 is even aware of the one-off abilities. - Miniwa// ---- **Test 914-0976** **Name:** WR Grizelle Markham, D-39003 **Date:** 27/08/2019 **Total Items:** Three episodes (1, 5, 12) of the anime //Coyote Ragtime Show//, each placed in a Kingston 4 GB USB drive with FSTS partition, three pieces of A3 sized paper, three pencils. **Input:** Episode 1 of the anime //Coyote Ragtime Show//, one A3 sized paper, one pencil. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A miniature replica of a Luger pistol, and a sketch of the characters January, April, May, and September (the four first generation Marciano's Sisters). Neither item is anomalous. **Input:** Episode 5 of the anime //Coyote Ragtime Show//, one A3 sized paper, one pencil. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Two items: # A 1:100 model of the titular Coyotes (in-series name for space bandits). This item is not anomalous. # A picture, which whenever shown to people with a cognitohazardous resistance rating below 36, shows a black-and-white bird's eye view of Memphis, TN, with Graceland Mansion highlighted. When shown to people with a cognitohazardous resistance rating above 36, a sketch depicting three women embracing each other is seen instead. //Note: Said episode's plot revolves around the Coyotes trying to leave the space station to get to their destination, Graceland. Looks like 914 took "Graceland" a little too literally. But the sketch is wonderful. - Markham//. **Input:** Episode 12 of the anime //Coyote Ragtime Show//, one A3 sized paper, one pencil. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Two items: # A sketch of the Coyotes on a vacation in [REDACTED], interrupted by five of Marciano's 12 Sisters. The sketch animates every hour, with different outcomes thus far, ranging from further interruption from law enforcement, to the adult Coyote members being killed as revenge for September's death. One outcome depicted SCP-2578 conducting an Impaler Event on Mister and April (leaders of the Coyotes and the Sisters respectively). # A 1:50 model of Madame Marciano, which proceeded to attack D-39003 with a miniature FN P90. The bullets anomalously penetrated through the legs of D-39003, crippling him. Object was promptly neutralized through the usage of the H2O-9000. ---- **Test 914-0977** **Name:** Junior Researcher McLaif, D-39654 **Date:** 27/08/2019 **Total Items:** One chess set and board. //Note: It has been demonstrated before that 914 is capable of playing chess and solving puzzles. It has also been observed that 914's "1:1" setting will turn certain games/puzzles to a different one, such as different shapes of rotating puzzles. I have brought D-39654 because of their extensive experience with various tabletop games and puzzles. D-39654 is designated as White, and 914 as Black. -- McLaif// **Input:** Aforementioned chess board, pieces at starting positions. White pawn moved to e4. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Same chess board, with Black knight to c6. **Input:** Above output, with White knight to g3. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Same chess board, Black checker to d5. **Input:** Above output, with White checker to c3. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Same chess board, Black checker to g6. //Tests 4-11 removed for brevity.// **Input:** Above output, with White pawn to a8 and promoting to a queen. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A black-and-white Monopoly board, with the White queen and Black queen as the board pieces. Captured pawns and checkers from tests 1-11 have been transformed into a full Monopoly set made out of plastic, sans player pieces. Black queen is on Mediterranean Avenue, and Black owns the property. //Tests 13-17 removed for brevity.// **Input:** Above output. White queen moved to unowned Illinois Avenue after a roll of 19. Illinois Avenue bought for $240. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Same Monopoly board. Black queen moved to White-owned Boardwalk. Black pays $600 in rent. **Input:** Above output. White pawn moved to Mediterranean Avenue after a roll of 3. $250 in rent paid to Black. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** The output chamber was empty, except for player-owned properties, houses, pieces, and money. Everything else was transformed into a 52-card deck of cards made of black and white plastic. The setup in the chamber closely resembles a game of Blackjack. White begins play, with Junior Researcher McLaif acting as the dealer. //Tests 20-39 removed for brevity.// **Input:** Above output. White bets their bishop and Marvin Gardens. Dealt a Ten of Clubs for a hand of 18. White verbally chooses to stand. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Above input, with Black's hand revealed as a white 9, a black reverse, and Mediterranean Avenue. White gains Black's three checkers, $10, and a house. **Input:** Above output, with the play area cleared and prepared for a round of Blackjack. White and Black are both dealt two cards each. White bets $5, a hotel, and a black checker. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** An empty play area, except for two 30-card plastic decks, one black and one white, Monopoly currency and deed cards, and chess pieces. Upon inspection by Junior Researcher McLaif, these decks were valid Magic the Gathering decks, one specializing in black cards, the other white. In addition, the Monopoly currency now has text saying "1 HP" instead of the usual design. The black deck was given to White, and the white deck given to Black, with White stating their preference to black decks. Both decks were shuffled, and White started play by playing a Swamp, and Junior Researcher McLaif acting as referee. //Tests 42-53 removed for brevity.// **Input:** The current board state. White currently has 10 HP and $30 left, and Black 20 HP and $195. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A chess board appears, with the Magic cards in play shrunk to the size of checker pieces, and placed in the same positions as the chess and checker pieces were before test #12. **Input:** The above output. White plays Magic as normal, then moves his cards as chess pieces. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** The above input, with Black having played and moved its cards. //Tests 56-67 removed for brevity.// **Input:** Above output, with White tapping the b5 Swamp and playing a Dread Wanderer on f6, along with a verbal request to trade a Deadeye Tracker for Park Place. White Death Cultist attacks Black face, dealing 1 damage. Black's balance is now 3 HP, with White having 12 HP. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Above input, with the Black king on its side in surrender. //Note: Not sure what to conclude from this, other than 914 having exceptional tabletop gaming skill. -McLaif// ---- **Test 914-0978** **Name:** Senior Researcher Vivic **Date:** 01/09/2019 **Total Items:** --Six-- One electromagnet with a strength of 1.25T **Input:** One electromagnet **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** --One unchanged magnet-- When supplied with power, the electromagnet was found to have gained additional magnetic strength anomalously and flew off the testing room floor. It appeared to be drawn only to metals used in biomechanical applications, which caused it to collide with Senior Researcher Vivic's prosthetic left arm at roughly 15m/s, causing moderate damage. The electromagnet then fell to the floor and cracked in half 5 seconds after impact, losing all anomalous and non-anomalous properties. Output incinerated. //Note: That was extremely painful. No more magnets and all my other tests have been cancelled. I don't know how it went after the metal in my arm and not 914 itself, so I'll be in the medical bay. - Senior Researcher Vivic// //Note: So a researcher with a prosthetic arm was refining an electromagnet? I'm wondering when we can expect prosthetic frontal lobes, to allow researchers like this to have better decision making in the future. - Veritas// ---- **Test 914-0979** **Name:** Researcher Vil **Date:** 01/09/2019 **Total Items:** One Samsung Galaxy brand smartphone, One iPhone X smartphone **Input:** The aforementioned item **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Same output. Testing shows that the device's Operating System is upgraded to Android ██, though no update of the Android OS has been released at this time. //Note: Android Popsicle Cake version. Some kind of taste. - Vil// **Input:** Previous Output **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A holographic device which only turns on when Dr. Veritas laughs. //Note: Going to try a 1:1 setting to see if it can be activated without laughing. - Vil// **Input:** Previous Output **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A holographic device which only turns on when Dr. Veritas smiles //Note: Gift for you Dr. Veritas, hope you like it. - Vil// //Note: Don't know if it's commentary of my general mood or not on 914's part. If it is, you try keeping these idiots in line for as long as I have. - Veritas// **Input:** iPhone X Smartphone **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A smartphone of unknown make and brand, when turned on a Prometheus Labs OS logo is displayed. Device has a password lock. //Note: Is there a person here that can hack devices? Maybe we'll get more information once we crack this phone.// ----- [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 098X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 098X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0980** **Name:** Researcher Miniwa **Date:** 01/09/2019 **Total Items:** 6-core 3.8GHz processor, Nvidia 2060 graphics card. Spare metal. **Input:** 6-core 3.8GHz processor, Nvidia RTX 2060 graphics card. Spare metal. //The processor and graphics card was a significant chunk of my weekly research budget. I swear, this is for research, though. Spare metal applied "to help 914", as it does not break conservation of energy (?) - Miniwa// **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 8-core 16-thread 5GHz calculation speed processor, Nvidia 2080 Ti graphics card. //Really high-end. Would stop here and keep it, but then Veritas would yell at me for "using SCP research money for my own purposes", which is fair. - Miniwa// **Input:** Previous Output, and more spare metal. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Processor and Graphics card have been fused into one "supercomputer" //A few tests on this... 10GHz calculation speed, and I didn't have any way to test the graphics card, besides playing some FPS games at max quality for a couple of minutes. - Miniwa// **Input:** Previous output, and more spare metal. **Setting:** Very Fine //Running very fine on this one, for the sake of Very Fine. My first Very Fine test! - Miniwa// **Output:** Robot, with similar traits to that of the character Izuna Hatsuse from the series "No Game No Life". //After a little panic that it would destroy the entire sector, It turns out that it just wants to play some games. - Miniwa// //Note: Repeated testing on over ███ D-class in over 20 different games and over four different genres shows that playing against the robot induces anger 100% of the time, to a level of physical violence between the players. Testing the robot against AI causes the computer to turn itself off seconds before the AI is defeated. - Miniwa// //Note: If we ever need to occupy the robot for long periods of time, it seems we can just put it up against an "unbeatable" game. I convinced it to play a 1v3 against cheating-difficulty bots in Supreme Commander 2 and it's spent the past three days doing rematches. - Intern Snevets// ---- **Test 914-0981** **Name:** Intern Snevets **Date:** 03/09/2019 **Total Items:** One set of Apple-brand “EarPods” //After last time, I’ve decided to go with something safer. I’ve always thought that these could use a bit higher audio quality - Intern Snevets// **Input:** EarPods **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Same set of EarPods, --no longer functional.-- //Note: Whoever’s playing that music, turn it down. - Dr. Veritas// //Note: The EarPods do function, but it would appear that sounds played by them are produced from a point inside the ears of Dr. Veritas, rather than the speakers.// //Note: I’ve incinerated them myself. Not taking the chance that someone pulls them out of the bin. - Intern Snevets// ---- **Test 914-0982** **Name:** Junior Researcher McLaif **Date:** 02/09/2019 **Total Items:** 1 bandaged 6x6 ██████-brand puzzle cube, 1 unsolvable 4x4 ██████-brand puzzle cube, taken from the break room //Note: I was getting frustrated of looking at a fully solved set of puzzles except for two in the break room. This is also an excuse to further test re-refining with 914. --McLaif// **Input:** The 4x4 cube. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A highly intricate model of 914 made out of plastic in a similar style to a gear cube. Found to be nonanomalous and functions as a gear cube-like puzzle. Rotating the input and output booths twists the gears in unpredictable ways. Solved by Junior Researcher McLaif in █ hours. //I should note that there is a very high chance of being pinched by the 914-cube if you put your fingers in the wrong place, which I found out the hard way. --McLaif// **Input:** The 6x6 cube. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A shuffled 6x6 rotating tesseract puzzle. X-ray analysis shows a complex internal mechanism connecting the outer faces to seven more 6x6 cubes inside. Turning the outer face leads to a completely unrelated move for each of the inner cubes. Upon solving one cube of the tesseract, the cube turns inside out with a different cube replacing the outer one. Solved after █ days by Junior Researcher McLaif. //I have placed all the outputs in the break room. Though, have fun trying to solve the 6x6 without also getting your fingers pinched by the cubes turning inside out. --McLaif// ----- **Test 914-0983** **Name:** Researcher Vil **Date:** 04/09/2019 **Total Items:** A small chalkboard, a box of chalk and a note written "What can we learn from you?" //Note: I think 914 can show us something educational. -Vil// **Input:** The aforementioned items. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A set of rules on "How to use SCP-914 without getting harmed" written on the chalkboard, the note changed and is now written "Sometimes you just have to make your thoughts a little less wild." ----- **Test 914-0984** **Name:** Intern Walker **Date:** 09/09/2019 **Total Items:** One bag of ████████ brand tortilla chips which cannot be opened, one flash drive containing a copy of a document titled "914 Brand Hops", one flash drive containing a copy of pseudocode for replacing all liquids in ten meters with coffee, one metronome that makes people within 3 meters walk in time to the beat //Note: Anomalous storage is full of all sorts of neat, unused things. It's time to use some of them. I've chosen a useless item, a dangerous item, and two replicable items for this session. - Intern Walker// **Input:** One unopenable bag of ████████ brand tortilla chips **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** One empty unopenable bag of ████████ brand tortilla chips, a pile of chips. //Note: It turns out that the bag, although impossible to open, could still have the chips removed. - Intern Walker// **Input:** The two flash drives **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One flash drive, containing code for replacing all liquids in the range of 9.144 meters with 914 Brand Hops. When plugged into a computer by a D-class, he immediately showed signs of intoxication. D-█████ lost out after two minutes. Computer disabled remotely, subject expired. **Input:** One metronome that makes people walk to the beat **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One metronome, which attunes itself to any vibrations --within 3 meters-- that reach it. It appears to set itself to average frequency felt over the last 30 seconds. //Note: Even breathing in its direction sets this thing off now. The vents. People walking in the parking lot. The microwave in the break room. This thing can't turn off. Click click click click click click... It's driving me nuts. - Intern Walker// **Addendum:** About an hour after testing ended, Dr. Veritas became very agitated and went to take it to be incinerated. As he approached it, the metronome suddenly clocked over ███ kilohertz before breaking. Object was incinerated. //Note: I can't prove this, but I could swear the metronome must've broken underneath the stress, as Dr. Veritas was fuming by the time he arrived to take the thing away. I'm both really impressed and absolutely terrified. - Intern Walker// ----- **Test 914-0985** **Name:** Intern Walker **Date:** 05/09/2019 **Total Items:** Box of assorted ███████-brand city-building models. //Note: Seven hundred dollars of Japanese imports. I'm going to be eating ramen this month. - Intern Walker// **Input:** Four city blocks of light industrial buildings **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Four city blocks of light commercial buildings **Input:** Above output **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Two city blocks of heavy commercial buildings. The plastic from half the input was used to improve the other half. **Input:** Ten city blocks of airport, three model planes **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Seven city blocks of forest, two city blocks of spaceport terminal, one city block of launch pads, three model rocket planes. //Note: ███████ does not make forest models, spaceports, or rocket planes. - Intern Walker// **Input:** Tokyo Tower **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Eiffel Tower. When placed in low light, tiny plastic bulbs start emitting colored light. Upon further testing, the light bulbs seem to contain a nitrogenous analogue to phosphor. //I'm going to build a city with all these pieces. Guards are are on standby, equipped with bug nets and acid spray, should things get out of hand. - Intern Walker// **Input:** A model city, containing all above outputs **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A futuristic model of [REDACTED], containing Site-19. It is well lit, and all the vehicles are animate. Additionally, there are flying cars floating around the city. The rocket planes broke containment and attempted to escape the building, but were recontained by security guards with the bug nets. //Note: Unless someone can come up with a display case before something breaks containment again, as entertaining as this city is to watch, it will be sent back through on Rough. - Intern Walker// //Note: I have some plastic display boxes laying around somewhere, I think. If you want them feel free to stop by. -Intern Lunar// **Addendum:** After being left overnight in Lunar's plastic display box, the security team discovered that the display box had been destroyed. New tiles that resembled construction sites had appeared on the outskirts of the city. Security footage shows that model drills rolled to the wall and started boring through the plastic. Cranes loaded the plastic shrapnel onto cargo trucks, which then hauled it to the industrial sector. Then, cement trucks brought the now molten plastic back to the edge of the city, to pour it like concrete. The city set and the display box were taken back to 914. **Input:** Above output, minus three industrial, three commercial, and nine residential tiles, as well as the city hall. **Setting:** Rough **Output:** A large pile of powdered plastic //Note: Admittedly, this thing has grown on me, and I can't in good conscience kill them all. I have a glass box big enough for this. Surely they can't break out of glass, right? I made sure that the buildings in this part of the city were "populated" before shredding the rest. The box will remain in with my belongings until I can get an office. - Intern Walker// //Note: At your own risk, as per usual. Get clearance from Sedna first. - Veritas// ---- **Test 914-0986** **Name:** Senior Researcher Vivic **Date:** 06/09/2019 **Total Items:** Six 3D printed plastic objects, one 3L bag of 2% Milk (fresh), four heavily used spark plugs, two cans of Pringle's chips, one artificial skeleton on a metal stand **Input:** 3D printed model of a modern army Jeep; 10cm tall. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A 3D printed model of T45 power armour, similar to that from the Fallout 4 video game. The limbs of the model can be moved much like an action figure. //Note: I'm keeping this on my desk after I paint it. - Vivic// **Input:** A 3D printed model of Iron Man; 8cm tall. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** The plastic rearranged into the words " I love you 3000 " on a flat plastic base. //Note: I swear this thing is sentient and watches movies when we aren't around. - Vivic// //Note: It doesn't have eyes, Vivic. - Veritas// **Input:** A 3D printed model of ''5 dimensional cube'' in a wireframe design **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A 3D printed model of a ''6 dimensional object'' that causes headaches when viewed and impossible to describe. Fell apart after 30 seconds. No anomalous properties remain. **Input:** A 3D printed model of a Charizard of the Pokémon franchise; 10cm **Setting:** Fine **Output:** The same model; however, it is far more detailed than theoretically possible with current technology. Zooming in with high powered microscopes reveals visible pores and scales. **Input:** A 3D printed model of a DeLorean car with sideways hover style wheels, 8cm in length. **Setting:** Very fine **Output:** Upon opening of the output door, the result launched out of the output booth at speeds up to 39.2m/s and crashed into the reinforced wall. **Input:** A 3D printed model of a Stirling Engine, 12cm tall and non functional. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A plastic model of PlayStation 4 with clear damage from over heating. **Input:** 4 used spark plugs **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A square of metal with bulbous ceramic growths on each corner and bolt like shapes upon each 90° angle of the ceramic corner balls. Within the metal square seems to be a constant influx of positive ions causing a painful static shock upon touching the prey metal. However a greater current can be built up by swinging the object through the air. Testing shows a maximum power of 15Amps. **Input:** One can of Pringle's chips. **Setting:** Coarse. **Output:** A stack of chips and the cardboard container separated. The cardboard looks like it was peeled away from the chips. **Input:** Human model skeleton with metal stand (100cm). **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A what can be assumed accurate skeletal model of [[[SCP-682|SCP-682]]] human sized and standing on its hind legs. //Note: That is kinda terrifying to look at, I'm certain it's harmless and I'm done with my tests for today, luckily I didn't get injured again. - Researcher Vivic// ----- **Test 914-0987** **Name:** Dr. Murdo (Foundation Virology Labs) **Date:** 10/09/2019 **Total Items:** 1 sealed vial of Experimental Beneficial Strain Q-235 //Note: This test was illicitly performed under the guise of refining acceptable non-biological items for testing.// **Input:** 1 sealed vial **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One sealed vial, visually unchanged. Disposed of via [[[SCP-123]]]. **FURTHER TESTS ABORTED BY ON-SITE SECURITY** //Note: Why?! I could have made the perfect beneficial strain! - Dr. Murdo// //Note: No, I don't [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] care how "beneficial" it supposedly is, the rules are perfectly clear. For all we know that refined vial could have held a super-strain of influenza. - Veritas// //Note: Dr. Murdo has been amnesticized and discharged from Foundation employment by order of Dr. Hackett and Dr. Veritas// ---- **Test 914-0988** **Name:** Junior Researcher McLaif, D-80243 **Date:** 10/09/2019 **Total Items:** Five variety packs of ███████-brand lollipops. //Note: This test will serve to see what happens to food when refined by 914, mainly taste. - McLaif// **Input:** One pack. **Setting:** Rough **Output:** An amorphous mass of caramelized sugar, melted polyethylene, and charred paper. D-80243 reported a "very burnt caramel" flavor. **Input:** One pack. **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** A pile of paper sticks, a pile of clear lollipop heads, and the original pack bag containing some coloring and unidentified chemicals. D-80243 reported the lollipop heads to taste identically to common table sugar. After analyzing the liquid in the bag, it was found that it was a mix of food coloring and artificial flavoring. D-80243 reports this mixture as "what those banana candies taste like." **Input:** One pack. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A ██████-brand variety pack of various flavors of taffy, with paper packaging and flavor guide. Each flavor of taffy corresponds to a flavor in the original lollipop bag. D-80243 reports the taffy as "pretty much the same as the lollipops, but chewy." **Input:** One pack. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A spherical jawbreaker 8 cm in diameter in paper and plastic packaging, labeled in an unknown language. Output is similar to snack foods as dispensed by [[[SCP-261]]]. D-80243 reported, "It's very... fruity. There's some sort of salty flavor in there, too. Oh, I'm tasting something meaty now. It doesn't taste like anything I've eaten before, though. Very fatty-tasting." **Input:** One pack. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** [DATA EXPUNGED]. D-80423 was admitted to the medical ward with severe chemical burns to his tongue, and released after 12 days. Further analysis shows that the output contained citric acid at an anomalously high concentration. **Addendum:** After D-80243's tongue recovered, the test with the Fine output continued. Additional flavors included mustard, cheese cake, monosodium glutamate, vinegar, table salt, denatonium benzoate, pure capsaicin, DNA, jawbreakers, copper, cardboard, and "fruit". ----- **Test 914-0989** **Name:** Researcher Ija Rasclon. **Date:** 10/09/2019 **Total Items:** 3 copies of the blueprints for the '//Mechanical Turk//' hoax chess-playing robot. //Note: Yes, I'm back. The higher-ups recommended me for study on "a high-risk item" due to my high adherence to safety guidelines and cognitohazard resistance value. I figured, if I had to be in the same country as that god-forsaken capacitor, I might as well be somewhere I can monitor it. That, and the next option was 682. Anyway, we've seen that 914 can 'comprehend' games, and can understand writing. I want to see what it will make of a game-playing machine, albeit a fake one. -R. Rasclon// **Input:** 1 blueprint. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A labelled anatomic blueprint of a "Turkish Mechanic". Blueprints were consistent with regular human anatomy, with the somewhat notable exception of an absent appendix. **Input:** 1 blueprint. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Simplified flowchart depicting the functioning and construction of IBM's '//Deep Blue//' chess-playing computer. **Input:** 1 blueprint. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A 1mm thick piece of A5 sized paper, shaped into a rectangular prism, with the same total mass as the original blueprint. Ink was not present on the surface of the paper. Upon being touched with a piece for a physical game, or the beginning state of a pen-and-paper game with fixed rules and moves being drawn upon the paper, the paper will initiate a game with the person who touched/drew upon it. The paper will not initiate a match of any game involving randomness which does not arise directly from player decision. The paper seems anomalously capable of detecting the board state of the game it is playing, and seems to be a perfect player. Following are the conducted tests. **Game:** Sprouts, two-dot permutation. **Player:** First **Result:** Ink appeared on the surface, spelling the word "concede". **Game:** Sprouts, two-dot permutation. **Player:** Second **Result:** Victory for second player. //[Further Sprouts tests removed for brevity: similar results. Instant concession when given unwinnable position, victory when given winning position.]// **Game:** Connect Four, columns labeled 1-7. **Player:** Second, first player played in column 4. **Result:** Concession. **Game:** Connect Four, columns labeled 1-7. **Player:** Second, first player played in column 7. **Result:** Paper communicated its moves by causing a number from 1-7 to appear on itself in ink. Victory for second player. **Game:** Connect Four. **Player:** First **Result:** Victory for first player. **Game:** Chess. **Player:** White **Result:** Concession. //Note: The tech guys willll have a field day with that one. -R. Rasclon// **Game:** Tic-tac-toe. **Player:** Crosses **Result:** Ink pooled around the base of the paper. Further testing determined the item was neutralized. //Note: Shame. Might've studied that for use with SCP-1384. Still, I'll take a benign VF result over a dangerous one any day. -R. Rasclon// ----- [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Show 099X Test Logs" hide="- Hide 099X Test Logs"]] **Test 914-0990** **Name:** Junior Researcher Steven **Date:** 10/09/2019 **Total Items:** Four 500 piece jigsaw puzzles **Input:** One jigsaw puzzle **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** One jigsaw, with all the tabs ripped off the pieces and placed in a pile **Input:** One jigsaw puzzle **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** The same jigsaw pieces, with a different picture **Input:** One jigsaw puzzle **Setting:** Fine **Output:** 250 blank jigsaw pieces and 250 double sided pieces **Input:** One jigsaw puzzle **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** 500 identical --non-anomalous-- jigsaw pieces. When assembled the final piece becomes a cognitohazard, making it invisible to all direct viewers //Note: After looking for a jigsaw piece for an hour, I'm not sure why I wanted to be assigned here again - J.R. Steven// ---- **Test 914-0991** **Name:** Dr. Haywood **Date:** 10/09/2019 **Total Items:** ~65 m^^3^^ of Earth atmosphere //Note: Hey all, I've just been assigned here. For my first test, I'm trying something that, surprisingly, no one has thought of before. What happens if we try to refine the air inside the intake booth? It still has mass, just not a lot of it. I'll be taking the following safety precautions:// * //Everyone in the testing chamber will be wearing a gas mask hooked up to an air tank.// * //The input booth will be sterilized prior to each test.// * //An atmospheric sensor/alarm package has been placed next to the output door, set to activate the emergency seals in the chamber's ventilation system if any harmful gases are detected. Any compound marked as overtly poisonous in the database will trip it.// **Input**: ~13 m^^3^^ of Earth atmosphere **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** ~13 m^^3^^ of Earth atmosphere, heated to 30°C. Dissipated harmlessly into site climate control system; noted to have a faint "tropical" scent. **Input:** ~13 m^^3^^ of Earth atmosphere **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** All gases present in the input were frozen into solid cubes. When the output booth door was opened, a pressure wave rushed to fill the vacuum in the output booth, causing a small explosion. No damage to SCP-914. Frozen gases dissipated harmlessly. //Note: Nearly popped my damn eardrums though, not to mention giving the guard a heart attack. Also, where'd the atmosphere in the output booth go? Did it get swapped with the input?// //Note: Skipping Rough setting, seeing as we'd probably get a similar output.// **Input:** ~13 m^^3^^ of Earth atmosphere **Setting:** Fine **Output:** ~13 m^^3^^ of --unchanged Earth atmosphere-- a (presumably) over-oxygenated mix of Earth atmosphere. Further investigation revealed an extremely thin layer of crushed graphite on the floor of the output booth, indicating that the refining process had stripped the carbon from the CO,,2,, present in the input. //Note: It's an improvement, yes, but a suspiciously direct one. I really hope that gas mix doesn't have any anomalous properties, since it's already in the ventilation at this point.// //Note: Your suspicions have been confirmed. My office is the closest to the central unit, and I started feeling lightheaded right after you ran this test. Looks like 914 joined the nitrogen and oxygen into nitrous oxide - laughing gas - which isn't flagged as poisonous in the database. I'd recommend adding pharmaceutical and medicinal compounds to the trip list. Remind me to sign you up for a mandatory hazardous material seminar. - Veritas// //Note: I found Jeff (the mug cat, in case you haven't met him) face-first in a vent acting stoned, and personally I have a massive headache. Good job. - Intern Lunar// //Note: As per request of many confused and dizzy patients, all medicinal substances, whether they can be turned into a gaseous state or not, have been added to the list of automatically filtered compounds in the site's ventilation database. -Doctor Starr// **Input:** ~13 m^^3^^ of Earth atmosphere **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A 2.5 kg block of the military-grade explosive RDX (C,,3,,H,,6,,N,,6,,O,,6,,). Test detonations of material samples reveal that the explosion is anomalously endothermic. Remaining material sent to anomalous item storage. //Note: For anyone not familiar with chemistry terms, endothermic means it takes in heat rather than outputting it, which is exothermic. Simply put, it's a cold explosive. I did run some additional tests on samples, and it appears that the chemical structure is identical to that of non-anomalous RDX, so unfortunately the effect isn't replicable.// ----- **Test 914-0992** **Name:** WR Grizelle Markham **Date:** 10/09/2019 **Total Items:** Two LAR Grizzly Winchester Magnum pistols, one photo of WR Markham and the Grizzly entity (in the form of a selfie), one map of Iraqi Kurdistan //Note: Grizzly reminds me of my sister Marianne, who died in a car accident five years ago. To put this, she's basically my sister if she wore purple contact lenses, and if she was more eccentric... - WR Markham// **Input:** One LAR Grizzly Win Mag pistol **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** [REDACTED] Kel-Tec PMR-30 automatic pistols, showing signs of rusting and scorching. Pistols are still functional despite damage. //Note: The only thing that I can say is that number is not an integer, and yes, that part-pistol is also functional. ████ me. - WR Markham// **Input:** One LAR Grizzly Win Mag pistol, one map of Iraqi Kurdistan **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One Beretta 92SB-F pistol with a suppressor installed, covered in purple paint. No personnel on site are able to use the pistol. Further testing discovered that said pistol may only be wielded by Kurds in Iraq. //Note: Not that out of the ordinary I guess. - WR Markham// **Input:** Photo **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A photo of Karlsruhe on 05/07/2014, showing WR Markham's older sister leaving Pfarrkirche St. Stephan. This photo causes people to remember the latest instance where a family member died with maximal detail. //Note: That's where she got hit... WR Markham// //Addendum: WR Markham was later found in the personnel residence drinking glasses of sake and --playing Billie Eilish songs at maximum volume-- assigned to mandatory psychiatric evaluation by order of Dr. Veritas. Radio destroyed.// ----- **Test 914-0993** **Name:** Doctor Starr and Assistant Researcher Smith **Date:** 01/06/2019 (Last Edited on 10/09/2019) **Total Items:** 5 Hanhart 1/5 Second Mechanical Stopwatches //Note: It's been a week since my previous test with “9BPK” and I’m still haunted by the output. I’ve decided to halt my testing on medical supplies temporarily and try a more mundane object. I’m curious to see how 914 reacts to more harmless mechanical devices. -Doctor Starr// **Input:** One stopwatch **Setting:** Rough //Note: Loud, thumping noises resonated from within 914 during the refinement process. -Doctor Starr// **Output:** Output ejected out of output booth where it hit the opposite wall at 20 km/hour, fragmenting across the room. Footage reveals the object was a heavily dented stopwatch with a broken second hand. //Note: It is safe to assume the dents were caused by a hammer-like object, which explains the loud noises heard before. Cause of such violent behavior from 914 is unknown. Proceeding with increased caution. -Doctor Starr// **Input:** One Stopwatch **Setting:** Coarse **Output:** A pure ingot of silver weighing about 0.5 kg, a deconstructed battery, and a pile of glass shards. The second hand is the only component missing from the input. Upon closer inspection, there is a sequence that resembles the ternary code for the word G-E-A-R-S on the top of the ingot. **Input:** One Stopwatch **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** Two 1/10 second mechanical stopwatches each half the mass as the original input. The objects are branded with the name ''Pestori'', but no manufacturer exists under this name at the time of writing. Items spontaneously fell apart upon leaving the testing chamber. Upon returning the object components back to the chamber, stopwatches were anonymously self reassembled. Reassembling the watch permanently outside of the testing chamber is impossible. **Input:** One Stopwatch **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A mechanical hand watch that can tell the exact hour and day of the week. It is set over three months ahead and has no way of being adjusted. Both the input second hand and the missing hand from the previous test have been turned into the day hand and hour hand on the watch. Similarly, object fell apart upon leaving the testing chamber but did not reassemble upon re-entering. No anomalous effects detected outside of testing chamber. Output incinerated. **Input:** One Stopwatch **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** An engraved stopwatch of the same brand, Pestori, as the 1:1 output. Across the entire object are ornate patterns and floral designs. On the back are the words, “Property of Doctor Starr. Please return if lost.” D-Class was unable to push down the crown of the stopwatch or find any other way to interact with it. After 10 minutes of failure to start the watch, D-64892 is ordered to hand over the output to security personnel and be escorted to their cell. Upon receiving the output, Doctor Starr clicks the crown on the watch, whereupon it started counting. Upon Doctor Starr stopping the timer just after the ten second mark, he disappeared. There are no indications of where he disappeared to nor are there any signs of space alteration. --Incident reported to administration and a “Death of Personnel” notice was filed for Doctor Starr after a week of his disappearance.-- //Note: The previous and the following information has been edited as of 10/09/2019.// Today, at 2:36 AM, Doctor Starr reappeared holding the fragmented remains of the output of the previous test. Almost shot by a security guard who was stationed a meter away from him. All components of output incinerated. //Note: I was gone for 101 days. I was thrown through time after the watch was activated for ten or so seconds, which in ternary is 101. To be entirely honest, that was very clever. -Doctor Starr// ----- **Test 914-0994** **Name:** Senior Researcher Vivic **Date:** 10/09/2019 **Total Items:** Twenty three 1kg ingots of aircraft-grade aluminum, fifteen 1m^^2^^ strips of white linen **Input:** 2kg of aluminium, 1m^^2^^ of linen. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A three dimensional sculpture of the //Mona Lisa// by Leonardo da Vinci made of aluminium, with the linen as her dress. //Note: Wow... just, wow. I didn't know 914 had such a fine taste in art. No pun intended. - Vivic// **Input:** 2kg of aluminum, 1m^^2^^ of linen. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** An aluminum picture frame measuring 31.14cm^^2^^, with the linen folded several times and stretched over it. The SCP Foundation logo has been embroidered onto the linen with aluminum wool. **Input:** 1kg of aluminum, 1m^^2^^ of linen. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** A small model of a bridge designed by Leonardo da Vinci with the linen wrapped around the conjunction points. The model can be disassembled into 17 small aluminum rods and 13 linen strips. **Input:** 1kg of aluminum, 1m^^2^^ of linen. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A functional anemometer of the same design as the one produced by Leonardo da Vinci in 1486. **Input:** 1kg of aluminum, 2m^^2^^ of linen. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A scaled down, yet functional replica of a parachute designed by Leonardo da Vinci. //Note: I guess 914's a fan of da Vinci's work? Has anyone used handcrafted linen in 914 before? Am I being affected by a memetic hazard? - Vivic// **Input:** 1kg of aluminum. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A highly detailed bust of the current Queen of England. Later determined to have the exact facial expression on the Queen at the moment of testing. **Input:** 2kg of aluminum. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** --A detailed model of a Foundation Site numbered 05, which is confirmed to not exist.-- Output incinerated. //Note: Senior Researcher Vivic has been administered Class-A amnestics on his request.// **Input:** 4kg of aluminum, 4m^^2^^ of linen. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A functional model of Leonardo da Vinci's aerial screw helicopter. After the output booth was opened, the model proceeded to fly out and hover above Senior Researcher Vivic's head. The screw rotors appeared to be powered anomalously. When approached, the model would move away at a speed of 1m/s (with a top speed of approximately 3m/s) by tilting in the relevant direction as a modern helicopter would. The model would also avoid impacting any physical barriers by keeping a minimum distance of 0.5m away from said barriers. //Note: Something just buzzed down the hallway. What was that? - JR. Kai// **Input:** 4kg of aluminum, 4m^^2^^ of linen. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A functional model of Leonardo da Vinci's flying machine, the Ornithopter. After the output booth was opened, it attempted to take flight but failed to lift itself off the ground. Later found to be capable of sustained flight after Senior Researcher Vivic gently threw it like a paper airplane. Cruising speed stands at a minimum of 1.5m/s and top speed measured to be 15m/s. //Note: I believe this has been the most consistent 914 has been so far! Although I now have a theory that 914 was built by Leonardo da Vinci or at least partially so, I'll first finish testing with the last of my materials and see if it gives us a secret project of da Vinci's. - Vivic// **Input:** 5kg of aluminum, 1m^^2^^ of linen. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A miniature tableau of two people made of aluminium, Person A is on its hands and knees with its face pushed into a pile of dirt by Person B's right foot on the back of its head. Person B appears to be in a stance of power and authority, with exaggerated eyebrows visibly displaying anger and its mouth wide open, possibly yelling at Person A. Both figures are wearing lab coats made of linen, each with the Foundation insignia embroidered on the back with aluminum wool. The faces of the models are of a lower quality and detail, resembling generic facial features of mannequins, making identification impossible. **Addendum:** Further testing has shown that the model tableau possesses a cognitohazard affecting all personnel --at Site-19 Facility-23-- who have physically come into contact with SCP-914 and views the model. The cognitohazard invokes feelings of shame, self-disappointment and an irresistible urge to apologize to Dr. Veritas for any events involving the subject's interactions with SCP-914. As some events mentioned by personnel have not been recorded in the testing log, it is suggested that the miniature tableau is affected by a temporal anomaly. However, when the object is viewed by Dr. Veritas, [DATA EXPUNGED]. The cognitohazardous effects of the object lasts roughly 15-30 minutes after visual contact is lost, but will immediately return upon viewing the object once more. //Note: Dr. Veritas, I'd like to apologize for any and all future tests I do at your wonderful Facility and as a gift, I have left the last test output as well as a large bottle of your favourite drink in a box on your desk. I do wish great fortune upon you as well. - Senior Researcher Vivic the Unworthy// //Note: I think the cognitohazard hit Vivic pretty hard. Escorting him to the medical bay now. - JR. Kai// //Note: Ok... I'm reading these an hour later and man, do I hate memetic hazards. Apologies to Dr. Veritas, and I'll be keeping both da Vinci flying machines. - Vivic// //Note: No, you're not. Not until the objects are thoroughly cleared of memetic hazards. Where were you going to put those anyway, your office? Thanks for the Whiskey though. Drink lots of water. Those anti-memetic treatments are going to give you one hell of a hangover in the morning. - Veritas// ---- **Test 914-0995** **Name:** Junior Researcher McLaif **Date:** 10/09/2019 **Total Items:** Printed documentation of various programming languages (C 18, Java 12, brainf*ck, Python 3.8, HTML5) //Note: Documentation input into 914 always yields interesting but sometimes hazardous results. There is also the USB drive that turns your blood into coffee that contains pseudocode, so this test is to determine what 914 can do with a programming language. --McLaif// **Input:** Documentation for C 18. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A copy of //The C Programming Language, 18th edition// by Brian Kernigan and Dennis Ritchie. The book contains up-to-date documentation on C 18. Of note is that no such edition of //The C Programming Language// exists. **Input:** Documentation for Java 12. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A finely detailed political-topological map of the Indonesian island of Java, in 1:10^^12^^ scale. The documentation has been cut in such a way that it mimics the geography of the island. Excess paper is strewn about in the output booth. //Note: brainf*ck is an esoteric programming language that consists of only eight commands acting upon an infinitely long tape.// **Input:** Documentation for brainf*ck **Setting:** Fine **Output:** --Unchanged input.-- A piece of paper containing a cognitohazard that forces whoever looks at the paper to only use their last eight spoken words in speech for approximately 2 hours. //Note: Apparently my last eight spoken words were "Somebody ready nine fourteen for the brainf*ck documentation" as seen in security footage. It was interesting when I began speaking in only "nine"s. for the next minute. --McLaif// **Input:** Documentation for Python 3.8. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A 3.8-meter long origami model of a //Python molurus// (Indian rock python). Upon physical contact with the model, the model began moving in the direction of the containment area doors at approximately 38 cm/s. Neutralized via H2O-9000. **Input:** Documentation for HTML5. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** The documentation now contains new HTML tags not specified in the input, such as {{<liquid></liquid>}}. These new tags anomalously animate in the documentation, such as {{<fire></fire>}} giving a flame-like animation to anything enclosed. Manually writing these tags on the documentation itself, such as via a writing implement, does not produce this effect. ----- **Test 914-0996** **Name:** Senior Researcher Vivic **Date:** 11/09/2019 **Total Items:** Nineteen 1kg pure iron ingots, eight 1kg copper ingots, six 1kg gold ingots (95%), ten 1kg chromium ingots, twelve 1kg platinum ingots, six 1kg tungsten ingots, four 2L canisters of neon, two 2L canisters of helium, three 2L canisters of argon, two 2L canisters of oxygen, three 2L canisters of hydrogen. //Note: All gas canisters are made of stainless steel and were left in the corner of the output booth unless otherwise specified.// **Input:** 1kg of gold, 1kg of chromium **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One 2kg ingot twice the size resembling a chromatic combination of the two inputs. No unusual or anomalous properties. //Note: It would be a great alloy to make jewelry out of, but that's about it. - Vivic// **Input:** 2L of oxygen, 1kg of iron **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A lighter than expected but heavily rusted ingot of iron covered in the steel from the gas canister. Alloy is extremely brittle. **Input:** 1kg of copper, 1kg of chromium, 1kg of tungsten **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A 3kg ingot with visual appearance close to beryllium bronze however possesses minor anomalous properties, being resistant to reality bending anomalies. Alloy can be safely transported without protective gloves. **Addendum:** Further testing shows unnaturally high resistance to electricity after melting and forming into an alloy plate, at the expense of becoming more brittle. **Input:** 1kg of tungsten, 2L of argon, 1kg of iron. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A 3kg ingot with an extremely hydrophobic surface, melting temperature discovered to be 3,600°C. Alloy is extremely sturdy in stress tests and unnaturally dense. **Input:** 1kg of gold, 1kg of platinum. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One 2kg ingot with the metals in an advanced interlocking pattern. Alloy possesses extreme corrosion resistance, high malleability, and rejects both positive and negative magnetic forces. **Input:** 1kg of gold, 1kg of copper, 2L of hydrogen. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A 2kg bundle of gold plated copper ribbon cable with a width of 3cm and rough length of 20m. The hydrogen canister has been turned into a stainless steel spool. Ribbon cable shows anomalously low levels of electric resistance. The copper appears to be meant for isolation, which severely reduces its usefulness for data transferring purposes. **Input:** 1kg of iron, 1kg of chromium, 1kg of copper, 2L of argon. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** a 5kg ingot resembling beryllium bronze. However, it has gained a faint purple glow even after reforging. Alloy possesses a weak magnetic flux. **Input:** 2kg of tungsten, 1kg of copper, 2L of hydrogen **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** A fully functional, fully loaded handgun, with similar appearance to be Glock 18. The primary weapon frame, barrel, and firing mechanism are composed of pure tungsten, while the grip plates and iron sights are made of copper. The ammunition is also made purely of copper, with highly compressed hydrogen as a replacement of the potassium nitrate. The firearm possesses significantly more firepower and less recoil than a standard G18. It is chambered in 9mm parabellum. Sent to R&D for research. //Note: Firearm confiscated. Placed in anomalous storage. - Veritas// **Input:** 1kg of copper, 1kg chromium, 1kg of iron, 2L of neon gas. **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** One striped alloy ingot weighing exactly 3.236kg. The primary colour is grey with copper and chromium stripes every 2.46cm along the vertical axis of the ingot when at rest. Should the ingot come into contact with a subject, said subject will experience the effects of Class X Mnestics albeit temporarily until contact is broken. --Bring this alloy to the Anti-memetic division immediately.-- //Note: I remember exactly what I had for breakfast 33 days ago, it's was bacon and eggs with orange juice, 4 strips of meat and 3 sunny side up [REDACTED for brevity] anyway... What am I holding and why? - Vivic// **Input:** 1kg of iron, 2L of neon gas, 3kg of chromium. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One metal ingot with a weight of 4.2kg. It is an exceptional insulator of heat and glows in the presence of electricity. Max detectable range of electricity is 4.5m. Properties are not affected by reforging. **Input:** 4kg of Iron, 1kg of chromium, 1kg of copper **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One alloy ingot weighing 6kg with a mild magnetic property that attracts biological material up to 30cm away with a strength of 200 Gauss, twice the strength of an average fridge magnet. **Input:** 2L of neon gas, 2L of hydrogen gas, 2L of argon gas, 2L of helium gas, 2L of oxygen gas, 8kg of platinum, 8kg of iron. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A sculpture constructed of input materials, with a wide twisting inner core made of iron and many branches of platinum every few centimetres. Located on the end of each branch are 4-6 stainless steel spheres roughly 2-4cm in diameter filled with a mixed concoction of the gasses placed in the input. **Input:** 1kg of chromium, 1kg of copper, 2L of helium. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A single 1.2kg alloy ingot with a tarnished copper colour. Imprinted on its surface are the words "Oxium 95% A.” Alloy noted to have high tensile strength. **Input:** 1kg of gold, 1kg of copper **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One metal plate comprised of the two metals, imprinted is a circle stricken through, similar to a ''stop'' sign, and is hot to the touch. Cooled to room temperature after 15 minutes. **Input:** 1kg of iron **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A sculpture of researcher Vivic being executed by [DATA EXPUNGED] //Note: Well, that's just rude! And I'll declare when I'm done testing with you, you machine. -Vivic// **Input:** 2kg of iron, 2kg of platinum, 1kg of gold, 2L of neon, 1kg of tungsten. **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A rectangular plate constructed of the above items. A strong cognitohazard affected Reseacher Vivic upon viewing, causing him to strike his head against the chamber wall until he lost consciousness. //Note: Researcher Vivic sent to medical bay after collapsing into a temporary coma, remaining log written by security guard Steven and Doctor Zane. It should be noted that no one else is affected by this output. Item incinerated. - Zane// //**Update:** Researcher Vivic has woken up from his comatose state after roughly 12 hours. However, his mental faculties are still damaged, causing him to currently experience the following symptoms: memory loss, memetic resistance, inability to form coherent sentences, inability to balance, and slightly slurred speech patterns. Because of Vivic's current cranial and neural implants there should be no permanent lasting effects and he should regain all memories and mental faculties within 12 hours. He is to remain bedridden until such time. - Doctor Zane.// ----- **Test 914-0997** **Name:** Junior Researcher Steven **Date:** 11/09/2019 **Total Items:** Two photocopies of the Voynich manuscript, three full English dictionaries //Note: I want to see if I can translate an unsolved language. With this being 914, I don't have high hopes. - JR Steven// **Input:** One photocopy, one dictionary. **Setting:** 1:1 **Output:** One photocopy of the Voynich manuscript written in linear A, presumably translated, and one English to French dictionary //Note: For anyone who doesn't know, linear A is another language that is currently untranslated. - JR Steven// **Input:** One photocopy, one dictionary **Setting:** Fine **Output:** An dictionary that changes content every time it is opened. Languages are usually incomprehensible. ----- **Test 914-0998** **Name:** Intern Walker, Researcher Jay **Date:** 16/08/2019 - 13/09/2019 **Total Items:** Five 3cm³ cubes of einsteinium //Note: I'm going to try something a bit different. Jay has agreed to try to bring one cube of einsteinium every Friday. I have borrowed a hazmat suit for these tests. To prevent a nuclear explosion in the output chamber, I will not use Very Fine. - Intern Walker// **Date:** 16/08/2019 **Input:** One cube of einsteinium **Setting:** Fine **Output:** An einsteinium model of the moon. It glows blue in the dark, as is to be expected of this element. It has a hook at the north pole, for it to hang from the ceiling. **Date:** 23/08/2019 **Input:** One cube of einsteinium **Setting:** Fine **Output:** An einsteinium bust of Albert Einstein. **Date:** 30/08/2019 **Input:** One cube of einsteinium **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One dodecahedron of einsteinium. It has numbers on its faces from 1 to 12, which glow brighter than the rest of the metal. It has a very satisfying weight, and is addicting to roll. After rolling 5000 times, it has been determined that it is an extremely fair die. **Date:** 06/09/2019 **Input:** One cube of einsteinium **Setting:** Fine **Output:** One tube of einsteinium. Radioactive objects that pass through it will become inert, and non-radioactive objects, including air, will become radioactive. Once the anomalous property was determined, Research Cell 109-B was evacuated and decontaminated. The output was taken off-site to be disposed of. **Date:** 13/09/2019 **Input:** One cube of einsteinium **Setting:** Fine **Output:** An animate statue with a cube head. The number 99 is carved onto its head. It initially appeared to be sleeping, but when disturbed, it activated and scanned the room. When offered a piece of one of the previous outputs, it proceeded to assimilate it, then ejected material that was found to be an alloy of californium, berkelium, curium, and americium. //Note: I've been told that this matches the description of SCP-2300. I suppose that it will be taken to Site-██ for containment. - Intern Walker// //Note: The fact that this didn't go horribly wrong at some point baffles me. Outputs are moved to permanent storage. - Veritas// ---- **Test 914-0999** **Name:** Researcher Miniwa **Date:** 13/09/2019 **Total items:** Ten 2.5-kilogram rocks of Anthracite coal. **Input:** Anthracite coal **Setting:** Fine **Output:** A 23.75-kilogram cube with side length 21cm of pure carbon with the atomic structure of graphite. Some gases were also detected escaping the output booth when opened. **Input:** Cube from last test **Setting:** Fine **Output:** Atomic structure of the object has been changed that of a crystal, but still resembles a cube. Mass unchanged, side length now 18cm. //Note: Even if we wanted to sell it, we can't, because A) it's probably anomalous, and B) who would believe that we are selling a "24-kilo diamond"? - Miniwa// //We should get a gemsmith to break it. Not sure how we're going to deal with the sheer size of it though. - Junior Researcher Kai// **Input:** Cube from last test **Setting:** Very Fine **Output:** Cube now resembles a common housecat. Later testing shows that the cat feeds on carbon-based objects, like coal. Testing has shown that it prefers coals with more carbon percentage over lower-carbon coals, and experiments using a diamond pencil (retrieved from storage of a previous test) show that it reacts to diamonds identically to how a normal cat reacts to catnip. Besides previously noted, cat also sleeps more than other housecats and otherwise behaves normally. Disintegrated after two hours. ----- [[/collapsible]] [/experiment-log-914/offset/9 Notice: Continued in 10XX ->]