Site-00 Community Cookbook

Link to article: Site-00 Community Cookbook.

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```
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[[include :scp-wiki:component:info-ayers
|lang=en[!-- EN/RU/KO/CN/FR/PL/ES/TH/JP/DE/IT/UA/PTBR --]
|page=site-81-community-cookbook[!-- url of your page on the scp wiki --]
|authorPage=http://www.scp-wiki.net/moto42[!-- link to your author page --]
|comments=

= **//Site-00 Community Cookbook//**

]]


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[[=]]
+ Foreword
[[/=]]

Hello again true unbelievers and welcome to another edition of the Site-00 community cookbook! We are thrilled today to present to all of you Unreality fans out there the one and only true recipe book for all your nourishment needs!

For those who don't know, the Site-00 cookbook is ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  and in the past has featured such edible food items as ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎bagel, ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ famous ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ celery,  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ egg, and much much more! It is even home of the Canadian Dairy Commission sponsored "milk review!"! 

Unreality is the hunger, the emptiness in our stomachs the rumblies in our tumblies the ceaseless abyss And don't forget to try our famous Unreality Burger!

So curl up into the fire and grab yourself a nice tepid speggnog while you enjoy reading our recipes for your mouths.

[[=]]
[[include component:image-block
| name=https://scp-sandbox-3.wdfiles.com/local--files/fragment%3Aartexchange2023listpages4/speggnog%20em.jpg
| caption=@@@@
| align=center]]
[[/=]]

[[=]]
John Doe
Director, Site-00
[[size 80%]]Making the  ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ [[/size]]
[[/=]]
-----




[[=]]
+++ Water Pie
[[/=]]
[[collapsible show="+ Open Recipe" hide="by Alex Thorley"]]

Hi, today I will be showing you how to make the pie with my favorite filling, water! Water is in all of life, and in this pie too! (even though this pie is not alive). They made this pie a lot during the Great Depression but that's not why they were depressed haha, if anything this pie will cheer you right up!  That's why it's good for you. Batter up!
 
The first step in making this water pie is to pour one can of water in the crust. Don't worry if it gets all soggy, that's how you know it's working!

[[image https://tile.loc.gov/storage-services/service/pnp/fsa/8a28000/8a28700/8a28714r.jpg]]

Next, get your spoons out because you are going to need a lot of sugar and flour! You'll want about eight sugars for every flour, and about four of those. The resulting mixture should be dry and white.

[[image https://scp-sandbox-3.wdfiles.com/local--files/fragment%3Aartexchange2023listpages4/flour]]

Next you will put the white mixture with the water pie. 
Do *not* stir.

[[image https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/fb/HK_Pancake_cooking_Sept-2010_Step_003_Mixing_all_ingredients_Glutinous_Rice_Flour_with_%E8%9B%8B%E6%BC%BF_eggs_water_%E9%9B%9E%E7%B2%89_Chicken_powder.JPG/640px-HK_Pancake_cooking_Sept-2010_Step_003_Mixing_all_ingredients_Glutinous_Rice_Flour_with_%E8%9B%8B%E6%BC%BF_eggs_water_%E9%9B%9E%E7%B2%89_Chicken_powder.JPG]]

Add two small spoons of  artificial eugenol based  methyl vanillin flavoring.
DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES STIR THE MIX!!!!!!

[[image https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b1/Vanillin_krist%C3%A1lyok.jpg]]

You will put butter on the pie. Preferably this butter should be made of milk from cows, but in a pinch storebought goatsuckle is fine.

[[image https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8e/Bog_butter_-_Ulster_Museum.JPG]]

Put the pie in the oven.

[[image https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/80/Dornbirn-Ebnit-Oven-fireplace-04ASD.jpg]]

Because the pie is made of water it will be very wet when you take it out of the oven. That is okay! this is why you have spoons, to eat the water pie. Yum!

[[image https://d1ldvf68ux039x.cloudfront.net/thumbs/photos/1312/1143432/1000w_q95.jpg]]

[[/collapsible]]

[[div class="void dark"]]
[[span class="void-img"]]
[[image https://scp-sandbox-3.wdfiles.com/local--files/fragment%3Aartexchange2023listpages4/Cashew_%28PSF%29%20%281%29.jpg style="width: 60px"]]
[[/span]]
@@ @@
[[span style="color: hsl(0, 0%, 46%); font-size: 1.35rem" class="vusermod"]]Milk Review[[/span]]
[[span style="color: hsl(0, 0%, 46%); font-size: 1.35rem" class="vui"]]⁂ Cashew[[/span]]
@@ @@
[[span style="font-size: 1.2rem"]]Milk like consistency but the flavor is more like a nut juice. Unsurprisingly like a liquid form of cashew, with a flavor one would expect from juicing cashews, rather than milking them.

 Milk like consistency and lacks the sweetness of many milk substitutes.

Good as a a substitute in coffee and with biscuits, but I would advise against drinking it alone unless you're looking for a saltier milk. 

[[/span]]
~~~~

[[span style="color: hsl(0, 0%, 46%); font-size: .8rem" class="vui"]]2/5[[/span]]
[[/div]]

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[[=]]
+++ Corpse Raiser #0
[[/=]]
[[collapsible show="+ Open Recipe" hide="by Cooking With Thorley"]]

[[=]]
[[html]]
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/P7FMc3vDEpQ?si=CgZdX9TIUVNSwuLb" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" allowfullscreen></iframe>
[[/html]]
[[/=]]

[[/collapsible]]

[[div class="void dark"]]
[[span class="void-img"]]
[[image https://scp-sandbox-3.wdfiles.com/local--files/fragment%3Aartexchange2023listpages4/Almond_on_table%201to1.jpg style="width: 60px"]]
[[/span]]
@@ @@

[[span style="color: hsl(0, 0%, 46%); font-size: 1.35rem" class="vusermod"]]Milk Review[[/span]]
[[span style="color: hsl(0, 0%, 46%); font-size: 1.35rem" class="vui"]]⁂ Vanilla almond[[/span]]
@@ @@
[[span style="font-size: 1.2rem"]]

Very sweet and vanilla-y. I like it, but it's more like a sweet drink than "milk" you know? like horchata, or diet eggnog or a milkshake without the ice cream. It's in the right realm though.

If you swish it in your mouth like a somelier you do get the kind of salty nuttiness typical of "nut milks" though it is offset by the sweetness of the "vanilla".

I could drink this for a while but I'd get sick to my stomach  in a different way than you would from chugging milk on a friday night.

[[/span]]
~~~~

[[span style="color: hsl(0, 0%, 46%); font-size: .8rem" class="vui"]]3.5/5[[/span]]
[[/div]]

[[=]]
+++ The Presidential Instant Pudding
[[/=]]
[[collapsible show="+ Open Recipe" hide="by Alex Thorley"]]



Hey everyone, Alex Thorley here with my 



People are always talking about this "meal prep" thing so I figured I would try it out myself and "prep" some pudding. That s where the proof is, as they say ha hehe ha. 

[[image https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/12/Packet%2C_food_product_%28AM_2015.4.46-1%29.jpg]]


Anyway, on to the ingredients:

[[div class="quote"]]
* 1 cup (200 g) granulated sugar
* ¾ cup (96 g) cornstarch
* ¾ cup (96 g) nonfat dry milk powder
* 1 teaspoon kosher salt
* 2 whole vanilla beans
[[/div]]

[[image https://scp-sandbox-3.wdfiles.com/local--files/fragment%3Aartexchange2023listpages4/dry%20pudding]]
 
Instructions:
 
[[div class="quote"]]
# Whisk sugar, cornstarch, milk powder, and salt;
# Add vanilla bean seeds, whisk. Cut vanilla bean pods. 
# Place pods in jar, whisk. Add mixture to jar, whisk. Store in a cool, dry place, whisk.
[[/div]]

[[image flickr:13922224163]]

For wet pudding:
[[div class="quote"]]
Add 2 cups of milk to ½ cup of mix over high heat, whisking constantly. Bring to a boil, whisk, reduce heat and continue whisking until the mixt coats the back of the whisk (about 3 to 5 minutes). Let refractor for at least 5 minutes.
[[/div]]

[[image https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7c/Jackfruit_pudding.jpg]]
Don't forget to eat the pudding!
[[/collapsible]]


[[div class="void dark"]]
[[span class="void-img"]]
[[image https://scp-sandbox-3.wdfiles.com/local--files/fragment%3Aartexchange2023listpages4/1to1%20cropped%20pedagon%20monkeynut.jpg style="width: 60px"]]
[[/span]]
@@ @@
[[span style="color: hsl(0, 0%, 46%); font-size: 1.35rem" class="vusermod"]]Milk Review[[/span]]
[[span style="color: hsl(0, 0%, 46%); font-size: 1.35rem" class="vui"]]⁂ Coconut[[/span]]
@@ @@
[[span style="font-size: 1.2rem"]]What's the deal with coconuts huh? They have water and milk AND flakes??? how does that even work. They are also very big, nuts should not be that big.

They also look like a face? or a bowling ball? That's just weird. I don't understand how people will stick their straws in the coconut holes like it's a normal thing, I mean why did they evolve to have holes like that anyway you know? and why are they making that face. Are they mocking us? 

What do they know that we don't?

I don't like coconuts.
[[/span]]
~~~~

[[span style="color: hsl(0, 0%, 46%); font-size: .8rem" class="vui"]]0.5/5[[/span]]
[[/div]]

[[=]]
+++ Bagel Wreath
[[/=]]
[[collapsible show="+ Open Recipe" hide="by Cooking With Thorley"]]

[[=]]
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[[/=]]

[[/collapsible]]

[[div class="void dark"]]
[[span class="void-img"]]
[[image https://scp-sandbox-3.wdfiles.com/local--files/fragment%3Aartexchange2023listpages4/goatsuckle style="width: 60px"]]
[[/span]]
@@ @@
[[span style="color: hsl(0, 0%, 46%); font-size: 1.35rem" class="vusermod"]]Milk Review[[/span]]
[[span style="color: hsl(0, 0%, 46%); font-size: 1.35rem" class="vui"]]⁂ goatsuckle[[/span]]
@@ @@
[[span style="font-size: 1.2rem"]]Surprisingly good.  You wouldn't know it was meat if it didn't tell you on the back. 
Unlike other milk substitutes it has the umami you might come to expect with your cereal and other substances. It's also good for you!

A bit coppery, and the white dye is banned in California but there's a reason this is two year winner of the Canadian Dairy Commission's "Milk™ of the Year" award.

That's it for this week's milk review! I'm Alex "milk drinker" Thorley, wishing YOU a merry festivus.
[[/span]]
~~~~

[[span style="color: hsl(0, 0%, 46%); font-size: .8rem" class="vui"]]6/5™[[/span]]
[[/div]]

[[=]]
+++ Zero Calorie Burger
[[/=]]
[[collapsible show="+ Open Recipe" hide="by Cooking With Thorley"]]
[[=]]
[[size 00%]]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7vS-ZNKlWs
[[/size]]
[[/=]]

[[/collapsible]]

[[div class="blockquote"]]
[[<]]
Page 0: [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/magazine/offset/0  Cover]
Page 1: [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/magazine/offset/1 Behind the Scenes of Unreality with VKTM]
Page 2: [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/magazine/offset/2 SCP-7195 Supplementary Log]
Page 3: [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/magazine/offset/3  Unspiration]
Page 4: [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/magazine/offset/4 Site-00 Community Cookbook]
[[/<]]
[[/div]]
[[collapsible show="Author's Note" hide="Hide Author's Note"]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
Hello, readers.

I hope you enjoyed this magazine. It was a bit of a personal one for me, as it's actually based on a true story!

As a child, I used to go to the Perth Zoo every weekend with my parents. I would always have so much fun seeing the tigers, the monkeys, even the bears! But most of all, I felt a special connection with the elephants.

My great grandpa Walt was one of the best elephant hunters in the world, with a kill count of over one //thousand// elephants throughout his career. He always used to regale us with his tales of the hunt, stalking the noble elephant for hours on end until he could line them up for the perfect shot.

Like any good hunter, my great grand-pappy had a huge amount of respect for his prey. He would always ensure he got the maximum amount of ivory possible from each elephant, never leaving a single tusk unturned. He always used to show us his ivory pipes and statuettes, and tell us about the elephants they came from, so my family and I would forever have love for elephants in our hearts, come what may.

Unfortunately, in the 1980s the ivory trade was made illegal, and my poor great grand-pappy died soon after of a broken heart. 

He always used to tell me "Son, the only thing that an elephant can't beat in a fight, is a lawyer." and I took this to heart, vowing to respect the rule of law for the rest of my days, lest I disrespect poor great-grandpappy.

In 2022, Tricia, one of the oldest Asian elephants in the world, died at the age of 65, and the Perth Zoo will never again house another elephant.

I swear that day I could feel her presence in my great-grand pappy's ivory pipe, telling me I must tell her story.

Unfortunately, the previous occupant of this body had only darkness in her soul, and she tried to sell the ivory through the internet, which is illegal!

Immediately, her heart stopped and her soul went to hell for one billion years, never to return... 

Please take this lesson to heart, and never break a single law, or you might die!

Thank you, and God Bless America. ✌️
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