fragment:goblincon-6467-Zenobiyl-1

Link to article: fragment:goblincon-6467-Zenobiyl-1.

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```
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```
```
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```

(none)

```
blockquote
```
```
blockquote
```
```
blockquote
```

[[include :scp-wiki:theme:black-highlighter-theme]]
[[include :scp-wiki:theme:penumbra-bhl]]
[[module CSS]]
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    padding: 0;
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li.folded > .colmod-content,
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li.unfolded > .colmod-link-top a:first-child {
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}
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[[/module]]

[[module CSS]]
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}
@keyframes blink {
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[[/module]]

[[module CSS]]
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    position: relative;
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}
 
@keyframes blink{
    to {
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[[/module]]

[[module CSS]]
#page-title {
  display: none;
}
[[/module]]

[[module css]]
.footnotes-footer {
display:none;
}
[[/module]]

[[=]]
 _
[[include :scp-wiki:component:coltop show=ACTIVATE ROSETTA.AIC?|hide=TRANSLATION IN PROGRESS]]
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##red|**TRANSLATION ERROR [1.2% COMPLETION]**##
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[[div class="blockquote"]]
+ TALES OF GOBLINY
 _
++ TABLE OF CONTENTS
 _
+++ THE BALLAD OF GOBLETTE **[97.34% Translated]**
 _
+++ THE WAY OF GOB **[17.2% translated]**
 _
+++ ##red|67 EXTRANEOUS ENTRIES REMOVED **[0% translated]**##
 _
[[/div]]
 _
[[include :scp-wiki:component:coltop show=DISPLAY ENTRY ONE?|hide=ENTRY ONE DISPLAYED]]
 _
[[div class="blockquote"]]
+ THE BALLAD OF GOBLETTE
++ BY HOB OF SPITWICK
+++ A TALE OF CHIVALRY AND HEROISM
 _
There once was a noble maid
With pointy ears of jade
Her eyes with golden sheen[[footnote]]Observed goblin eye colors include gold, purple, green, hot pink, and rainbow.[[/footnote]]
Matched only by the gleam

Of pointed teeth in smile
For hers were never filed[[footnote]]Naturally pointed teeth are a beauty symbol in goblin society.[[/footnote]]
So natural was her hair
And yellow-eyed stare

That in the morning mush[[footnote]]A ritual in which male goblins enter a pit and wrestle while nude.[[/footnote]]
One fateful sunlit day
Every sweating thrush[[footnote]]A term for bachelor goblins.[[/footnote]]
Had made fearsome display

To gain her regal favor
To win her hand, you see
For the maid was one Goblette
And cathykbler[[footnote]]A term for goblin princesses, meaning "Pranksteress".[[/footnote]] was she

But when the mush was done
Our maid of mottled green
Sought not the thrush who won
But found a goblin lean

As tall and thin as jrob[[footnote]]A reed used annually for brushing goblin teeth.[[/footnote]]
Arms like willow twigs
His humble name was Hob[[footnote]]Translates to "pig boy".[[/footnote]]
The keeper of the pigs

As all the others left
Poor Hob remained bereft
His armor weighed him down
And trapped him on the ground

So stuck within the pit
Amid the goblin shit[[footnote]]Goblins defecate over defeated adversaries to assert dominance.[[/footnote]]
He saw a hand extend
To lift him up, and mend

The bruises on his hide
And when the young boy spied
The eyes with worried stare
He saw Goblette the fair

“My lady!” Exclaimed he
For shocking it would seem
That her nobility
Would grab his hands, a dream?

“Your name?” The lady spoke
Her arms as thick as oak[[footnote]]The average goblin female has 25% more upper body muscle than the male.[[/footnote]]
“I’m Hob” the lad replied
With pangs of wounded pride

“Your ears have rounded tips.”
She spoke through charcoal lips
“You’ve come to mock them too?”
Hob seemed glarfablu[[footnote]]A greenish-blue complexion goblins display when upset. Or vomiting.[[/footnote]]

“No! They look unique!” 
Goblette said with a shriek
The other thrushes stared
Was this maid impaired?

Of all the lads to hail
A goblin thin and pale
To fancy one so plain
Did Goblette lose her brain?

But no, her head was well
And yet her hearts did swell[[footnote]]Male goblins have two hearts, and females possess three.[[/footnote]]
For as she spoke with Hob
The flames of love did throb

For all the goblins strong
Who cared of war and song[[footnote]]Male goblins engage in guttural throat singing to attract mates.[[/footnote]]
They lacked the gentle mind
Or hearts both warm and kind

That Goblette yearned to see
For tough as nails was she
But longed for tender care
A loving goblin pair

She went as sunlight waned
To where Gob[[footnote]]Goblette's father, and the king of Spitwick.[[/footnote]] cruelly reigned
His daughter came to show
The man which she’d bestow

The title of high prince
For marriage she’d convince
Her father to assent
In Goblin testament[[footnote]]Goblin patriarchs will approve marriage proposals by rubbing spit on the thrush's scalp.[[/footnote]]

Alas, it could not be
For Gob said angrily
“Princess of the swine?”
“I’d sooner die, resign!”
 
“You’ll marry to your station”
The king spoke with a growl
“No daughter of this nation,
will stain the ancient Thowl!"[[footnote]]A tattoo placed on the right eyeball, which signifies membership of a goblin royal family.[[/footnote]]

His words gave Goblette pause
But she was not forlorn
For to the ancient laws
Her marriage might be sworn

And so she huffed and seethed
While walking to town square
A mace Goblette unsheathed
For glopnar[[footnote]]A marriage ritual where goblins fight to win a suitor's hand, and the last one standing (or breathing) wins.[[/footnote]] she’d declare

At once the goblins laughed
For they knew Goblette's wish
Could she be so daft
To make her love go squish?

For Hob could never win
The weakest of his kin
And when he lost the fight
Another goblin might

Take home the noble lass
A wife in battle won[[footnote]]Wife kidnapping is common in goblin society, though not as common as husband kidnapping.[[/footnote]] 
The goblins joined en masse
All, except for one

For Hob stayed on his own
Hiding from the fray
He stood as still as stone
Sweating, turning gray

"Your sword," the lady spoke
And handed Hob a blade
Far beyond his station
With shining jewels inlaid.

Hob gripped it as she smiled
And whispering beguiled
"These goblins may be tough"
She said, "But for me? Not enough!"

At once a goblin called for blood
"The glopnar must begin!"
"There's one more fighter yet to join,"
She spoke with hearty grin

And so the final foe was here
Goblette, the lady knight[[footnote]]The original term, //glerikad,// could be alternatively translated as "noble vivisector".[[/footnote]]
At once the townsfolk made a cheer
The thrushes turning white

"My own hand I will fight to claim,"
She spoke with firm aplomb
The goblins charged the fiery dame
And yet Goblette seemed calm

At once the battle fiercely surged
A writhing goblin throng
And yet each wave was quickly purged
The lady knight was strong

And felled each foe in fearsome turn
With swinging mace and brand[[footnote]]Goblin royalty have access to weaponry stolen from other, more advanced civilizations.[[/footnote]]
To crackle, snap, break, and burn
The goblin horde in hand

No stratagem was ever made
Too strong to best Goblette
Dread tornado made of blade
She seemed the greatest threat

And yet there was a single thrush
His name one Vlinter Vatch[[footnote]]Translates to "ugly-nose man".[[/footnote]]
Who never joined the morning mush
But came today to snatch

Goblette at once to be his own
And when poor Hob was all alone
He sprung towards the spindly runt
For Vlinter came today to hunt

"Your lady's using all her smarts,"[[footnote]]In goblin society, which is exceptionally anti-intellectual, this statement would be a grave insult.[[/footnote]] 
He said with glinting gaze
"When following her beating hearts,
a sentimental phase."

And Vlinter lunged with savage glee
For behind he did not see
Goblette encroaching at his rear
Coming closer; all too near

"Leave my precious Hob alone!"
The lady's mace struck tender bone
Vlinter shrieked and howling flew
Across the battle square into

The backside of a butcher's shop
And all the rabble cried and jeered
For straight into the rotting slop
Goblette's attack had deftly steered

Vlinter, cunning goblin fiend
Who now in pigshit thrashed and keened 
And as the lady calmly turned
The fight at hand was near adjourned

The goblin fighters beaten laid
Upon the yellowed soil[[footnote]]It is unclear if this line refers to the goblins' yellow blood, yellow urine, or both.[[/footnote]]
The few survivors limped and swayed
Then fell before the royal

And so it seemed the lady knight
Had bested all through brutish might
But truly one foe still remained
For she had kept her Hob sustained

Now the moment came for all
To watch the final goblin fall
How could Hob claim victory
O'er Goblette's tenacity?

As goblins watched from all around
A mace fell clattering to the ground
Gasps arose of shocked confusion
Surely this is some illusion?

For all the fighters, brawlers, knights
Kicking, slashing, hitting, bites,[[footnote]]Goblin chivalry permits the occasional ankle bite.[[/footnote]]
Yelling, shouting, arguing
The lass just up and left the ring!

T'was far beyond a scandal
This runt who couldn't hold a candle
To Goblette, the champ-to-be
Had won by technicality!

"Tis true he didn't land a blow"
Goblette announced while winking so
"At least, not on my body see,
And yet Hob struck me fearsomely."

For while you cut your foes in parts
To win my hand with bloody war
Hob with kindness won my hearts
And warmed me to my emerald core

The townsfolk cheered, the fighters seethed
And goblins everywhere now breathed
An air of love, a scent so sweet
Better than a goblin sheet[[footnote]]When they wear clothes at all, most goblins tie a single, unwashed sheet around their waist.[[/footnote]]

King Gob was floored
But bound by scripture
To wed by sword
In Goblin stricture

Whoever won the glopnar fair
And so Goblette and Hob would share
The gift of holy matrimony
And held a massive ceremony

Upon the castle balcony
And lived in tender harmony
As king and queen of gobliny
So ends this noble symphony[[footnote]]Sheet music accompanying the written text instructs all chest-beaters and nose-fluters to stop here.[[/footnote]]
[[/div]]
 _
[[include :scp-wiki:component:coltop show=DISPLAY ENTRY TWO?|hide=ENTRY ONE DISPLAYED]]
 _
[[div class="blockquote"]]
+ THE WAY OF GOB

Every little goblin knows
Thieving and the way it goes
More than any other arts
Thievery is in our hearts

So listen close and hear our ploy
Soon we'll write a grand decoy
Every goblin will commit
The kind of sentimental shit

That nitwit readers must adore
To pages, chapters, books galore!
The morons won't be satisfied
Until each silly word they've spied

And while they gorge on sappy rhyme
Our secret magic fucks their time!
A hidden spell they can't foresee
Permitting all of gobliny

To raid their world for all its riches
Kill their men and steal their bitches
Once the goblins so deployed
Make off with treasures overjoyed

Nothing can the dipshits do
Nothing but to steam and stew
Wanna know the way of Gob?
TRICK AND CHEAT AND RAID AND ROB!
 _
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**[[[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-7535/offset/2|WARNING: SECURITY SYSTEMS OVERRIDE, ANOMALOUS TEMPORAL MANIPULATION DETECTED. STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND NOTIFY A SITE ADMINISTRATOR IMMEDIATELY.]]]**
 _
[[/div]]
[[/=]]
[[include :scp-wiki:component:colend]]
[[include :scp-wiki:component:colend]]
[[include :scp-wiki:component:colend]]
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fragment:goblincon-6467-Zenobiyl-1

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