Lemon Party

Link to article: Lemon Party.

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**Item #:** SCP-**##22a400|VATHEK##**/**##cc0000|THESEUS##**

**Object Class:** Alexandrios[[footnote]](Item acts as an anomalous data collection and research tool.)[[/footnote]]

**Special Containment Procedures:** Containment of SCP-**##cc0000|THESEUS##** is only possible vicariously through SCP-**##22a400|VATHEK##**. 

**##22a400|VATHEK##** is kept at Area-**##22a400|VATHEK##**. The location of Area-**##22a400|VATHEK##** is known only to the Administrator, three members of the O5 Council,  and personnel stationed at Area-**##22a400|VATHEK##** itself. All communication with Foundation staff and Area-**##22a400|VATHEK##** is to be conducted remotely. The entirety of Specialized Task Force Odal-49 "Morkanabad" has been stationed at Area-**##22a400|VATHEK##** for security purposes. Before viewing, all information collected from SCP-**##22a400|VATHEK##** is to be scrubbed of cognitohazardous and/or infohazardous material by CARATHIS.AIC.

The collection efforts that began 2/20/2024 are to continue indefinitely. However, due to a string of erratic behavior from 12/20/2032, **##22a400|VATHEK##**'s round-the-clock monitoring and security efforts are to be redoubled. 

To further ensure cooperation, Area-**##22a400|VATHEK##** is to be restocked daily with a supply of no fewer than 200 lemons.

**Description:** SCP-**##22a400|VATHEK##** is a biologically immortal humanoid that answers to the name "James Hagopian." Subject takes the form of a man of Armenian descent between the ages of 25-30.

**##22a400|VATHEK##** is capable of psychic communication with SCP-**##cc0000|THESEUS##**. SCP-**##cc0000|THESEUS##** is an extradimensional consciousness that has at one point existed within SCP-8702[[footnote]](Object class: Unknown. A pocket dimension located in a dentist's office in Evanston, IL. The entryway disappeared for unknown reasons as of 1/1/2025.)[[/footnote]]. The nature, appearance, origin, and current location of **##cc0000|THESEUS##** are all unknown. All other information about SCP-**##cc0000|THESEUS##** has been gleaned from **##22a400|VATHEK##**'s secondary accounts. **##22a400|VATHEK##** has purported that SCP-**##cc0000|THESEUS##** visits other dimensions to study them.

Before he gained his anomalous abilities, **##22a400|VATHEK##**'s left forearm was crushed and severed by the floor and ceiling of SCP-8702. His amputated forearm regenerated a week later. This tissue could imitate various shapes and textures, but this behavior has not been observed since March of 2028.

According to **##22a400|VATHEK##**, the severance and replacement of his arm was how he became "anointed" as SCP-**##cc0000|THESEUS##**'s "prophet". In exchange for learning more about our iteration of Earth, SCP-**##cc0000|THESEUS##** has offered to share the wisdom it has collected from other worlds, using **##22a400|VATHEK##** as a communication medium.

When **##cc0000|THESEUS##** makes direct psychic contact with **##22a400|VATHEK##** for this purpose, his body trembles uncontrollably and he emits powdered calcium carbonate from his pores. This has been referred to as an Oracle State by containment staff. (Documents provided from Oracle States have been given the OS prefix.)

All feasibly testable information provided from **##22a400|VATHEK##**'s Oracle States has been confirmed. In this way, **##22a400|VATHEK##** has led to astronomically important advancements in Foundation scientific and logistical operations -- including, but not limited to:

* The decommissioning of [[[SCP-2317]]]-K, [[[SCP-231]]]-7, and other immediately dangerous anomalies connected to [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/cotsk-hub GoI-586].
* Hyper-expansion of the Foundation's budget through the reproduction and sale of [[[SCP-500]]]-EX[[footnote]](OS-481ARX described the recipe for SCP-500 -- which not only made reproduction possible, but revealed that the drug in question was //technically// non-anomalous, thereby allowing its sale to not conflict with the Foundation's mission statement.)[[/footnote]] to the public, establishing Seacrest Pharmaceuticals as the Foundation's first Fortune 500 front company.
* Development of a working perpetual motion engine.
* Invention of the parascientific concepts of RNA Compassing, Shangrilalogy, Para-Crocheting, Molecular Bigotry, Mass Radiological Emboigaly, Baldrick Geotorsion, Applied Soviet Nanomagnetism, Sun-Neutering, Cnidarian Temporal Contusion, Quantum Rudeness, Gravitational Nippling, Paxton's Foot, Paxton's Other Foot, Trumgratiation[[footnote]](Colloquially known as "Things to Do With a Cuttlefish on a Weekend")[[/footnote]], and Expanded Lower-Digestive Keynesianism.
* The establishment and temporally-expedited construction of Site-EROS, a specialized containment facility located in the upper atmosphere of Venus.
* Anomalous expansion of the mental faculties of the O5 Council.
* Peaceful annexation of the Global Occult Coalition.
* Development of the Brandt-Kartoffel Thaumaturgical Persuasion Technique.
* Peaceful annexation of 7 of the 14 countries on the Operational Liability Charter into a geopolitical Foundation front known as Foundatia.
* Usage of the Brandt-Kartoffel Thaumaturgical Persuasion Technique on the Ethics Committee to allow the previous list item to continue unimpeded.
* Foundatia's historic victory in the 2037 FIFA World Cup.
* Complete global nuclear disarmament through the use of the Brandt-Kartoffel Thaumaturgical Persuasion Technique.
* Creation of the Pax Aeternam Nuclear Vault to store and dismantle all relinquished nuclear weapons.
* Annexation of the Pax Aeternam Nuclear Vault.
* The addition of five onsite nuclear warheads to each Foundation site.

------

[[div style="border:solid 5px #cc0000; background:#FFFFFF; padding:15px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px;"]]
**Interview Log** 
**Interviewer:** Dr. Astarte Fleck, Director of Site-**##22a400|VATHEK##**
**Interviewed:** **##22a400|VATHEK##**
**Date:** 2/20/2043
**Time:** 12:00 PM █ST

<Begin Log>

//[**##22a400|VATHEK##** shivers in his seat. The pale skin of his arms occasionally ripples. He's emitting a slow, steady stream of powdered calcium carbonate from his pants.]//

**Fleck:** Please state your name for the record.

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** //[Inaudible, delirious whimpering.]//

**Fleck:** Um...

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 75%]]Chim.[[/size]]

**Fleck:** I didn't quite catch that. Could you speak up?

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 85%]]I'mChim. Chim. MyNameIsChim. YouAlsoCallMeVathek. EitherChimOrVathek. OneOfThose. I'mNotPicky.[[/size]]

**Fleck:** Are you feeling all right? We can continue this later if you're not --

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 85%]]NoNoNoNoNoNo TodayIsAGoodDayToBeAliveAndBeMe AndNoOneElse TheseusSaysHiByTheWay InFactHeSays //,,Well, hello there, old chum!,,// InTheLanguageOfDeadGods WhoAreBeingUsedAsHandPuppets.[[/size]]

...

**Fleck:** ...Right! So, do you know what today is?

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 85%]]YesYes TheDayWhenMySkinHurtsAgain ItIsDisgraceful IAmSorryForHavingYouSkin YouDeserveABetterHomeThanICanProvide.[[/size]]

**Fleck:** Today's the 20th anniversary of the start of Project Vathek. 

//[Fleck pulls out a thick dossier.]//

I thought you'd do well to know just how helpful your ability has been for the greater good. This is an itemized record of how beneficial your --

//[**##22a400|VATHEK##** slams his hand on the stack of papers. He hisses. The ink disappears. All papers are left blank and slightly damp with an unidentifiable, mucus-like film.]//[[footnote]](This is how **##22a400|VATHEK##** has read documents as of 2031.)[[/footnote]]

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 85%]]**I N F O R M A T I V E .**[[/size]]

**Fleck:** Good thing those were copies. Well, the O5 Council and I have been talking, and if you recall our initial promise -- well, you've barely asked for anything. You've helped us so much, and asked for next to nothing in return. 

//[She grins.]//

Those are not realistic expectations.

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 85%]]IExpectWhatIPleaseRegardlessOfTheJudgmentalWhimsOfOthers.[[/size]]

**Fleck:** Well, let me put it this way. If we could grant you one wish, what would it be?

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 85%]]WhatWhatWhatWhat?[[/size]]

**Fleck:** Let's brainstorm. I can't promise it would be within our power or your permissions, but we won't know if it is until you throw some ideas at me.

//[Over twenty seconds, a strange expression crosses **##22a400|VATHEK##**'s face -- equal parts filled with terror and hope. He stops emitting calcium carbonate for the remainder of the interview.]//

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 85%]]...I see.[[/size]]

**Fleck:** You sound different.

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 85%]]And that's the problem, isn't it?[[/size]]

**Fleck:** I don't follow.

//[Holding back tears, he shakes his head.]//

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 85%]]Okay. I wish for lemon juice.[[/size]]

**Fleck:** That's it? You can have that every day --

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 85%]]A swimming pool filled with lemon juice.[[/size]]

**Fleck:** Huh?

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** Not like a kiddie pool, but not Olympic either. Like, the kind you'd see in a suburban backyard. The kind you can set up on grass.

**Fleck:** I'm not sure I understand.

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 85%]]You don't //have// to understand. It's my wish, isn't it?[[/size]]

**Fleck:** Do you really think you can drink that much?

//[He begins trembling violently.]//

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 85%]]IWantTo**HAVE**it AndWhenI**DO** Iwill**USE**it InA**VERY**particularManner ThatIWillDescribe And**YOU**AndYour**Toadies**AreToAssistMe AndThisIs**NOT**fucking**NEGOTIABLE**.[[/size]]

**Fleck:** I don't understand why you're so angry at me.

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 85%]]**I**DO**NOT**//KNOW//HOW**TO**BE##red|{{**ANGRY**}}##ANYMORE**MY**##red|{{**ANGER**}}##WAS{{##red|**TAKEN**##}}**FROM**ME**THIS**IS{{##blue|**FEAR**##}}**I**AM{{##blue|**//SCARED//**##}}[[/size]]

**Fleck:** Can you at least explain why?

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 85%]]{{**N O T W I T H W O R D S**}}[[/size]]

//[An explosion of powdered calcium carbonate suddenly bursts out of his clothes, covering Dr. Fleck and the rest of the room.]//

...

**Fleck:** Something tells me **##cc0000|THESEUS##** doesn't approve of your wish.

//[He nods slowly.]//

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 60%]]We need to hurry.[[/size]]

<End Log>

[[/div]]

------

> **From:** alocke@foundation.scp 
> **To:** afleck2@foundation.scp
> **Subject:** Re: Lemon Party
> 
> Dr. Fleck,
> 
> Regarding **##22a400|VATHEK##** strange request for this 20th anniversary present, I thought it worth mentioning some recent findings that would indicate that **##22a400|VATHEK##**'s relationship with lemons may be more complicated than we think.
> 
> The custodial staff were doing some routine maintenance on Area-**##22a400|VATHEK##**'s septic system. They found several thousand rotten lemon wedges in the septic tank. 
> 
> Upon closer inspection, they had been peeled, pulled apart like clementines -- and flushed down the toilet, never once bitten or squeezed.
> 
> He keeps requesting them, but he's not eating them. 
> 
> [[>]]
> - Senior Researcher Angus Locke
> [[/>]]

------

[[div style="border:solid 5px #22a400; background:#FFFFFF; padding:15px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px;"]]
**Experiment Log:** **##22a400|VATHEK##**'s Request
**Date:** 2/28/2043
**Time:** 10:00 PM █ST

<Begin Log>

//[Flanked by security guards, Researcher Locke, and Director Fleck, **##22a400|VATHEK##** approaches a testing chamber. An above-ground swimming pool, approximately 3m in diameter, has been constructed and filled with pasteurized lemon juice.]//

//[They stop at the ladder to the pool.]//

**Fleck:** Well?

//[**##22a400|VATHEK##** breathes quickly. His gaze never leaves the floor.]//

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 85%]]GimmeAMinute.[[/size]]

//[He slowly turns around.]//

[[size 85%]]OkayListen. ThisIsTheImportantBit.[[/size]]

//[He points to the pool with a violently shivering finger.]//

[[size 85%]]I'mGonnaGoForASwim. MyEntireBodyWillBeSubmergedInTheLemonJuice.[[/size]]

[[size 85%]]AndWhenIGetOut INeedSomeoneToGoThroughThePool'sContents AndTellMeWhat'sInThere OtherThanLemonJuice.[[/size]]

**Locke:** Yes, but... Are you sure this is the reward you wanted?

**Fleck:** This really seems like something you don't want to do.

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 85%]]Need. NotWant. I'mNoLongerCapableOfTrustingTheLatter.[[/size]]

//[He turns to face the pool.]//

//[He disrobes completely.]//

**Locke:** Um, are you sure you need to --

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** ##red|**{{YES}}.**##

**Locke:** Okay! Have fun!

//[He hesitates as he climbs the ladder. Calcium carbonate shuffles off his skin in waves. He chants a calming mantra under his breath.]//

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 70%]]I am. Chim Gahobian. I was born. In an October. I want. To reproduce. My favorite song. Is about war. ... Dogs.[[/size]]

//[He stops at the top, staring at the lemon juice.]//

//[His breathing quickens.]//

...

...

[[size 85%]]INeedAPush. SomeonePushMeIn! Please![[/size]]

//[Fleck gestures to the security guards. A guard approaches and tries to shove him in.]//

**Guard:** Do you want us to push you or not? You're really fighting back here.

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 85%]]IKnow. I'mSorry. Don'tWorryAboutHurtingMe.[[/size]]

**Guard:** Welp. You asked for it.

//[He picks **##22a400|VATHEK##** up by the waist.]//

**Fleck:** Hey!

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 85%]]It'sFine! It'sFine! ThrowingWorksToo! JustGetItOverWith! QUICKLY![[/size]]

//[He throws **##22a400|VATHEK##** in.]//

**Guard:** There, see? Not so cold once you --

//[Splashing. High-pitched shrieking from thousands of individual sources.]//

//[**##22a400|VATHEK##**'s body falls apart in the juice. Individual fragments wriggle and slither violently, breaking apart into screaming white worms, each one no longer than 1 cm. Each one screams at a volume comparable to a human. The worms desperately try to jump out of the pool.]//

//[Between 30 to 50 worms leaps toward the guard. Their bodies turn gray and metallic. They pierce through the guard's eyes and wriggle into his head.]//

**Guard:** //Everybody out! Now!//

//[The guard falls away from the pool, screaming and clutching his head. The others run for the door. Hundreds of worms start to cascade from the pool's rim. Once they're on the floor, they thrash viciously to rid their flesh of every drop of lemon juice, then coalesce with the other worms into a pile nearby.]//

//[After 13 minutes, every worm has left the pool, and the shrieking begins to subside. The guard has died of cerebral hemorrhage.]//

//[After 2 more minutes, the worms have fully amalgamated into the pile.]//

//[After 25 more minutes, minutes later the pile changes its shape back into **##22a400|VATHEK##**.]//

<End Log>
[[/div]]

------

[[div style="border:solid 5px #cc0000; background:#FFFFFF; padding:15px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px;"]]
**After-Incident Debriefing** 
**Date:** 2/21/2043
**Time:** 5:12 AM █ST

<Begin Log>

//[**##22a400|VATHEK##** sits at the interview table from earlier with his head in his hands.]//

//[Dr. Fleck enters.]//

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[Size 85%]]ForTheRecord IDidn'tWantToGetThatGuard MixedUpInAllThis I'mSorryAboutHisDeath.[[/size]]

**Fleck:** We can talk about that later. For now, I have the report you requested bout what was in the pool.

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** //{{**TELLMETELLMETELLME.**}}//

//[She opens her laptop, going over the figures.]//

**Fleck:** Well, the new chemical-analysis techniques you helped us develop let us comb over the lemon juice on a molecular level in short order. It was mostly the compounds present in lemon juice, some calcium carbonate, and --

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 85%]]**HUMAN**//DNA?!//[[/size]]

**Fleck:** Uh, oddly enough, yes.

//[**##22a400|VATHEK##** sighs with relief.]//

It belonged to the guard. Likely some of his blood from the eye injury.

//[He freezes.]//

...

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 85%]]AnyoneElse'sDNA?[[/size]]

**Fleck:** No.

...

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 60%]]DoubleCheck.[[/size]]

**Fleck:** I mean, if it's //your// genetic material you're looking for, not a trace was found.

//[He breaks down sobbing.]//

Um, **##22a400|VATHEK##**?

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 85%]]HisNameWas...[[/size]]

//[He shakes his head.]//

[[size 85%]]...his -- my name wasn't "Chim," was it?[[/size]]

**Fleck:** Records indicate that your name was "James Patrick Hagopian."

**##22a400|VATHEK##:** [[size 85%]]Why the //fuck// doesn't that sound familiar anymore?[[/size]]

<End Log>
[[/div]]

[[=]]
+++ [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-8702/offset/4 Opening scp-theseus.rtf...]
[[/=]]

Lemon Party

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