Link to article: WHYDOTHEYALWAYSSENDTHEPOOR?!?!.
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[[include component:image-block | name=office.jpg | caption=Area-8702; the restaurant in question is on the ground floor. ]] **Item #:** SCP-8702 **Object Class:** Euclid **Special Containment Procedures:** The building containing SCP-8702 and all surrounding offices have been purchased by a Foundation front company. It has since been converted into Area-8702, with accommodations and living quarters for 50 researchers and 100 armed security personnel. Study of the interior of SCP-8702 is ongoing, conducted through exterior observation and radar analysis. Exploration of SCP-8702, whether manned or remotely operated, may not be attempted until the O5 Council has given permission. **Description:** SCP-8702 is a dimensional aperture located in the men's bathroom of a Chipotle franchise at the [REDACTED] Professional Complex in Evanston, Illinois. From what can be observed from the bathroom corridor, the interior of SCP-8702 is a lightless cave composed of a white, chalky substance that has yet to be identified. Natural rock formations in the cave take the shape of the contents of the bathroom that once occupied that restaurant. The cave extends beyond the reaches of the building's layout, with a tunnel extending from a hole in the wall an additional 115 meters before curving eastward. The size of this cave is not currently known. Dust particulates from within SCP-8702 stick to the open doorway like an invisible film. It is not believed that solid matter can exit SCP-8702. Whether SCP-8702 can be breached externally is not currently known. SCP-8702-A is an entity living within SCP-8702. It takes the appearance of a human girl between the ages of 10 and 13 dressed in blue pajamas. SCP-8702-A has been seen milling about the interior of SCP-8702, humming unidentifiable songs, and drawing abstract, shapeless pictures in the dust. --It has not yet acknowledged the presence of containment staff, nor does it appear to understand speech.-- **[PENDING REVISION]** **Discovery:** On 1/14/2023, the anomaly was discovered by Mr. Garrett Mathis, a cashier at the restaurant. He had opened the door after working hours, discovering the suite in its anomalous state. When the Foundation investigated and took control of the building, Mr. Mathis was detained, questioned, and released after being given Class-A amnestics. > **Incident Log - SCP-8702-A First Contact** > **Date:** 1/28/2023 > **Time:** 04:13 AM CST > > <Begin Log> > > //[Containment specialists Kayla Dobbs and Carl Waller sits at the observation post in the corridor outside SCP-8702. A motion detector beeps on Dobbs's laptop.]// > > **Waller:** There she is again. > > **Dobbs:** Want me to try and contact her? > > **Waller:** That, or maybe just record what she does. We have no idea what she's capable of. > > //[SCP-8702 approaches the gateway.]// > > //[She knocks on the invisible film that keeps her from leaving.]// > > **Waller:** That's... new. > > **Dobbs:** Maybe she needs our help. > > //[Dobbs gets up.]// > > **Waller:** Be careful, Kayla. > > **Dobbs:** Hi, there! Are you lost? > > [The flesh of both of her hands contorts inward, changing color, making sticky, wet noises — until both hands resemble the head of a pekin duck.] > > [Her own head also contorts inward until it resembles the head of character actor Steve Buscemi.] > > **SCP-8702:** {{I'M HUNGRY.}} > > **Dobbs:** ...um, okay, would you like me to get you something to -- > > **SCP-8702:** {{##22a400|**THERE IS A SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD.**##}} > > //[SCP-8702's right hand suddenly balloons in size, morphing into the head of a tiger shark.]// > > **SCP-8702 (Buscemi Head):** //[Hisses.]// > > **SCP-8702 (Shark Head):** {{##22a400|**NOPE. YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE WHAT SONGS GET STUCK IN YOUR HEAD. THAT'S THE RULES. JUST BE GLAD I PICKED S.O.A.D. AND NOT LIMP BIZKIT.**##}} > > {{##22a400|**NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'MMA CUT OFF YOUR FOOD SUPPLY.**##}} > > //[The shark head bashes against the invisible film. The film starts cracking.]// > > **SCP-8702 (Buscemi Head):** {{THIS IS INSIGNIFICANT. I CAN MAKE ANOTHER GATE.}} > > **SCP-8702 (Shark Head):** {{##22a400|**SO I GOT EMPLOYMENT SECURITY? BITCHIN'.**##}} > > //[The other duck hand morphs into another shark head. He bashes both of them against the portal.]// > > **SCP-8702 (Buscemi Head):** {{YOU'RE //NOTHING,// TRAITOR.}} > > //[The Buscemi head contorts into the head of a man of Armenian descent between the ages of 25-30.]// > > **SCP-8702 (Jim Head):** {{##22a400|**NO, I'M JIM SHARKHANDSIAN!**##}} > > //[Enraged shrieking echoes throughout the cave from millions of sources at once.]// > > //[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnbvK2HDNUc The new head vocalizes bizarrely.]]// > > //[The portal shatters, leaving nothing behind but the Chipotle's original bathroom.]// > > <End Log>