Link to article: scp8802.rtf.
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[[include :scp-wiki:component:acs-hybrid-text-bar-source |version= hybrid |item-number= 8802 |clearance-level= 5 |containment-class= keter |include-secondary= no |disruption-class= ekhi |risk-class= critical ]] **Special Containment Procedures:** Due to its immovability, the entire building containing SCP-8802 is to be considered an extension of SCP-8802 itself. The building is hermetically sealed with concrete. Observation of the interior and work to mitigate the spread of SCP-8802 are to be exclusively carried out through remote drones. No materials or personnel that have entered the affected zone are to be recovered. SCP-8802's expansion in the sealed area is mitigated through a specialized, independently-powered HVAC system. The following methods have proven the most effective: * Maintaining a constant temperature of between -5 and -3 degrees Celsius. * Daily particulate saturation of the air with 400 cubic meters of bleach. * Remotely pressure-washing border areas with bleach. * Filtering SCP-8802-A residue from the air, which is then incinerated offsite. Under no circumstances is SCP-8802 to be exposed to fire or intense heat, as this would cause the affected area to expand uncontrollably. If this becomes inevitable through conflagrations, weather events, warfare, or other scenarios, O5 Command is to be informed of an impending XK-Class End-of-the-World Scenario. A one-meter buffer zone has been drawn around the storage facility, using a film of algae as an indicator. The spread of SCP-8802 beyond the buffer zone is to be considered a full containment failure. Reinforcement of SCP-8802-A as a harmless fictional character has proven effective to mitigate dangerous levels of interest in SCP-8802-A on the part of the public. As such, the Foundation has worked with the Jim Henson Company to produce a non-anomalous iteration of SCP-8802-A to be included in related media. Works that include the original voice actor of SCP-8802-A, Mike Popovic, are to be either destroyed or (if harmless) retroactively dubbed by the current voice actor. In particular, media that includes the word "Esto"[[footnote]](i.e., used in a context other than the Spanish demonstrative pronoun)[[/footnote]] or the phrase "fiakh duhazh esto" is to be destroyed summarily. Investigation of potential connections between SCP-8802-A and SCP-7702-B are ongoing. **Description:** SCP-8802 refers to an ongoing CK-class Reality-Restructuring Scenario. Currently, this event is localized within the ████████ Self-Storage Facility in Hamilton Heights, Manhattan. The affected area currently comprises 79% of the building's empty space. The boundary of SCP-8802 has been growing at an unpredictable rate since it began on March 17th, 1970. Spread of the zone's borders is carried out over flat surfaces. While the primary causal agent of the spread has yet to be identified, exposure to fire or intense heat causes rapid expansion, presumably as a defense measure. Organic matter within SCP-8802 experiences accelerated decomposition and cellular death. Despite this, multicellular organisms such as humans are biologically immortal after entering the area. Additionally, human subjects within SCP-8802 are psychologically compelled to remain inside, violently resisting attempts to be taken out of the affected zone. The epicenter of SCP-8802 is located on the windowless second floor of the facility, at the time of writing, only the appearance of the first floor is understood through direct, external observation. All attempts to remotely film or photograph the interior from within have resulted in heavy A/V distortion. ------ +++ __Addendum 1 - Central Entity__ SCP-8802-A refers to the source of SCP-8802: a puppet created by the Jim Henson Company. SCP-8802-A is Oscar the Grouch -- specifically, the prototypical orange version of Oscar from the first season of //Sesame Street.// The majority of SCP-8802-A's more explicit segments on the first season of //Sesame Street// were intercepted before airing, with many recordings in the Jim Henson Company's custody for investigation. The Jim Henson Company was mostly successful in denying these segments' existence to the public, though they have gained traction in lost media communities on the Internet. SCP-8802-A remains attached to its original puppeteer and voice actor, Michael Popovic[[footnote]](The foundation has scrubbed all records of Mr. Popovic's involvement with //Sesame Street// and dubbed over non-anomalous recordings with his successor for the role, Caroll Spinney)[[/footnote]], who died shortly prior to SCP-8802's manifestation. Despite this, SCP-8802-A is completely sapient and speaks with Popovic's voice. While SCP-8802-A and the non-anomalous public version of Oscar the Grouch have similar personalities and character traits (i.e. devotion to garbage and uncleanliness, misanthropy, and an inverse perception of positive and negative emotions), SCP-8802-A's motivations are spiritual in nature. SCP-8802-A is an adherent of a religious movement known as "Esto", and to that end, has attempted to co-opt //Sesame Street// as a way to indoctrinate younger viewers. [[collapsible show="+ Notes on Esto" hide="- Opening esto_2.rtf..."]] > //"The first recorded mention of Esto in public knowledge dates back to 1966, as one of many new religious movements associated with American Hippie culture. Known followers include George Harrison, Janis Joplin, Christopher Hitchens, Strom Thurmond, and Kevin Michael "GG" Allin, although only the latter has remained part of the movement for longer than three months. At the time of writing, there are approximately 20,300 followers of Esto living today, with 70% living in Northwest Indiana.// > > //Adherents eschew all forms of comfort. Though there is a central deity to worship (in VUUOU of the Murk, also known as "the Eighth Prince of Corbenic", "the Avaskara Buddha", "the Fermented One", "the Damp Emperor", and "Grandfather Toadstool"), Esto is treated primarily as a personal path to enlightenment. Esto asserts that the only way to reach true happiness is through excessive personal hardship, thereby allowing all impure aspects of the mind, body, and soul to rot away.// > > //While Esto followers generally avoid using iconography, they can be identified by shared phrases. The two most common are "Fiakh Duhazh Esto"[[footnote]]Adherents claim that this means "allow yourself to exist" in a currently unidentified language.[[/footnote]] and "wa-ooh"[[footnote]]Adherents claim that this is a simplification of "UÁÜ", a mantra that can't be properly pronounced with human anatomy. "UÁÜ" is difficult to define, but the most similar ideological comparsion would be "Om" from Hinduism and other Eastern religions.[[/footnote]].// > > //To date, the Foundation's most dangerous interaction with Esto cultists was in 1995, when a compound of Esto reality benders was discovered in the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone in Pripyat, Ukraine. To varying degrees of success, all members of the compound were ritually training their digestive tracts to subsist only on irradiated grass. The compound was led by "Allfather Gurtya," a psychic, semi-comatose horse suspended in a tank of urine..."// > > [[>]] > - Dr. Isaiah Henderson, //Compendium of Anomalous Religions// > [[/>]] [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Partial Transcript of SCP-8802-A Pre-Edit Footage, #1" hide="- Opening 8802_1.rtf..."]] [[div style="border:solid 5px #ff9900; background:#FFFFFF; padding:15px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px;"]] //[Oscar holds a box of matches, contemplating it. He suddenly notices the camera.]// **Oscar:** Oh, it's //you.// Y'know, lots of people on today's show have been talkin' about fire safety. You //might// think that sounds like something I'd hate. That I'm the kinda guy who's all about playin' with matches. And let's be honest -- yeah, safety makes me gag. It keeps your hands clean. Keeps you from gettin' sick. But //fire// safety? //[He tosses the matches behind him.]// Now, //that's// a kind of safety worth carin' about! The only thing I hate more than sunshine, and puppies, and someone on the street tellin' me "have a nice day"... is //fire.// //[The camera zooms out, revealing a massive pile of trash under Oscar's can.]// Just look at all my cool stuff. But if you started a fire somewhere down there, it'd be outta here for good! So if you really think about it, fire's the most powerful kind of clean-up you could do. Like takin' a bath times a million! //[Shudders.]// Eughh! And what's more, if you burn to death, you'll be reduced to a pile of nice, clean ashes. How can you rot in a state like that? How can you grow? How can you accept the endless cycle of decay and rebirth that leads to the light of hidden understanding? You can't! That's right, you won't ever feel a thousand kingdoms birthing, warring, and dying across your flesh. You can't become a walking microcosm of filth. You can't make a trillion little friends in the space between your eyelids and teach 'em how to make endless love. The bottom line is: a squeaky-clean disciple can never walk the path of a Fermented Bodhisattva. Don't worry, kiddos -- just keep them mitts off them matches, and there'll always be a place for you nose-deep in the briar-milk of the everlasting tetanus. Now, let's talk about another, //better// word that starts with the letter F: feces... [[/div]] [[/collapsible]] [[collapsible show="+ Partial Transcript of SCP-8802-A Pre-Edit Footage, #2" hide="- Opening 8802_2.rtf..."]] [[div style="border:solid 5px #ff9900; background:#FFFFFF; padding:15px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px;"]] [[=]] //(**Note:** When questioned, this was the only anomalous SCP-8802-A skit that relevant personnel remembered filming.)// [[/=]] //[Oscar leans on top of a brick wall used as a set for several Muppet skits previously.]// //[Ernie strolls behind him, humming a tune. He notices Oscar.]// **Ernie:** Oh, uh, hello there, Oscar! **Oscar:** Great. Someone to spoil my miserable solitude. Whaddaya want? **Ernie:** You know, Oscar, I've been meaning to ask you about something. **Oscar:** I'll save you the trouble of askin'. The answer is no. **Ernie:** No? //[Ernie thinks about this.]// Well, uh, the question I was gonna ask wasn't a yes-or-no question. **Oscar:** Ugh. Fine. What's your question? **Ernie:** You see, you like feeling miserable... **Oscar:** Mm-hmm... **Ernie:** And you hate feeling happy... **Oscar:** True... **Ernie:** So if you're miserable, and that makes you happy... **Oscar:** Uh-uh... **Ernie:** But then the happiness makes you miserable... **Oscar:** Pretty much... hey, cut to the chase! **Ernie:** Right! So, if both things make you feel the opposite... how do you stick with feeling with one way or the other? And you're not just, y'know, just sorta goin' back and forth all the time? **Oscar:** ...ohhh! I see what you're sayin'. **Ernie:** Yeah. **Oscar:** Well, here's the thing: at the end of the day, I'm never //truly// happy. **Ernie:** Oh? **Oscar:** That's because I know what this so-called happiness does to me in the long run. Comfort is a temporary solution to a long-term problem. You don't know it, but every time you laugh, or feel good, or go playin' with your friends -- your soul is dyin', one giggle at a time. //[Frank Oz groans offscreen.]// **Ernie:** Oh. Uh, wow. Gee, uh... that's not exactly the answer I was expecting-- **Oscar:** Can it, Ernie, this is important! Every good thing in life happens because you struggle. And I mean every //really// good thing, that you earned! Lemme put it this way: it was your birthday last week, wasn't it? **Ernie:** Yeah, it was! **Oscar:** How was your birthday? **Ernie:** Well, Oscar, I'd love to tell ya about my birthday sometime. But for now, maybe we should focus on what's on the script-- **Oscar:** **//{{ANSWER.}}//** **Ernie:** Okay! Well, we had some balloons... and some cake... and my friends and I were wearin' some sparkly little party hats! **Oscar:** But did they //last?// **Ernie:** I'm not sure what you-- **Oscar:** When your birthday ended, were you still wearin' the hats? Were you still eatin' cake? **Ernie:** Umm... no. You don't usually do that kinda thing when it's not your birthday anymore. **Oscar:** There, see? It //ended.// It was //temporary.// You earned nothing, so nothing remained. Every nice thing you just described was a dinky li'l bandage on the lethal chest wound of modern life. So, whaddaya do? Ya SUFFER! Do it like ya mean it! That way, you'll strip away everything temporary, until only the most permanent, immortal happiness is still standin'... **Frank Oz:** //[Offscreen]// Oh my God. So, is anyone gonna cut the camera? **Camera Operator:** //[Offscreen]// The button's stuck... **Oscar:** Oh, nooooo, how dare I teach children something important! That's the last thing you want on //Sesame Street//, am I right?! **Frank Oz:** //[Offscreen]// We //talked// about this, Mike. **Oscar:** Ah, to heck with this! I'm gonna go gargle some nails and meditate. //[Oscar leaves. Ernie, trying to stay in character, pulls out his rubber duckie.]// **Ernie:** Gee, Rubber Duckie, what do //you// think about philosophy? **Oscar:** //[Offscreen]// IT CAN'T THINK BECAUSE IT CAN'T //ROT!// [[/div]] [[/collapsible]] [[=]] ++ [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-8802/offset/2 timeline.rtf] [[/=]]