Link to article: SCP-WOW-J-6.
+ SHE'S A *REAL* BIRD ------ **Item #:** SCP-WOW-J **Object Class:** Safe **Special Containment Procedures:** SCP-WOW-J is to be stored in a standard animal containment cell in Site-808. Despite the instructions of Researcher Carlson, under no circumstances is SCP-WOW-J to be taught how to play the mandolin. SCP-WOW-J is to be fed a standard tropical diet of fruits and nuts, and is also allowed to roam freely around its containment cell. However, no Foundation employee is to feed SCP-WOW-J after midnight, no matter how nicely it asks. Additionally, Staff are to be reminded once weekly that SCP-WOW-J is not friends with Dr. Clef, no matter how many times it claims otherwise. In case of a containment [[footnote]] A containment breach denotes a time when an anomaly decides to steal the money of every researcher at a site. [[/footnote]] breach no fewer than 47 Psittacus erithacus (--grey parrot-- gray parrot) trained in BSL (British Sign Language) must be released in Site-808 to mitigate adverse psychological effects on personnel. **Description:** SCP-WOW-J is a female instance of Aratinga solstitialis (Sun parakeet). Additionally, SCP-WOW-J is a top-notch keyboard player and will definitely beat you at the keyboard should one choose to challenge it to a keyboard, which one is //not// advised to do. According to medical reports, reportedly SCP-WOW-J is made entirely of crystallized sadness. SCP-WOW-J is currently capable of several anomalies, all listed below: * Convincing Foundation personnel that it is a human female, and not a Sun parakeet * Making friends with Dr. Clef * When touched by an adult woman, SCP-WOW-J glows a bright pink. When touched by a child or adult man, it retains its normal color, but begins to emit a loud wailing, similar to a howler monkey. * In the event that SCP-WOW-J is ever fed after midnight, all living things within a five meter radius around the containment zone will be instantly transmuted into tapioca pudding. SCP-WOW-J was discovered at the San Diego Zoo, reportedly flying with a security guard and asking about her lost child. A Foundation agent present at the zoo brought SCP-WOW-J in for questioning, before SCP-WOW-J nearly convinced Agent Kabasic that she had been making a mistake. **Addendum SCP-WOW-J-1:** > **Interviewed:** SCP-WOW-J > > **Interviewer:** Researcher Carlson > > **<Begin Log>** > > ##white|please i swear please let me die## > > **Interviewer:** How is your day so far, Mrs. Vernon? > > **SCP-WOW-J:** It is going well so far! Thank you Mr. Carlson. I’m trying to write a new sonata! > > **Interviewer:** Oh, really! Cool! What’s it going to be for? > > **SCP-WOW-J:** Hear me out. I’m going to write it… for the mandolin! > > **Interviewer:** The mandolin? That sounds exciting! > > **SCP-WOW-J:** Have you ever heard the song "Puttin' on the Ritz" by Taco? You know, the one that goes: 'If you're blue and you don't know where to go to why don't you go where fashion sits, puttin' on the Ritz!' That one. > > **Interviewer:** Indeed, I have. > > **SCP-WOW-J:** So, it’s going to sound kinda like that. I really like that song, it’s one of my favorites! > > **Interviewer:** No way! That’s one of my favorites, too! > //[ Both Researcher Kinney and SCP-WOW-J laughs. ]// > > **SCP-WOW-J:** You guys have got me on a real deal here. Free food, recreation, and plenty of room to move around! > > //[ SCP-WOW-J flies around for a short duration. ]// > > **Interviewer:** Hey, hey, no need to get all excited! Here’s the deal, I’ll be back. Why don’t I grab some coffee on the way in, huh? Does that sound good? > > //[ SCP-WOW-J chirps repeatedly. ]// > > **SCP-WOW-J:** Sure does! > > **<End Log>** > > **Closing Statement:** Researcher Kinney was chastised for gross misconduct. SCP-WOW-J is not allowed to see Researcher Kinney, despite protests from both parties. **Addendum SCP-WOW-J-2:** Additionally, in response to these events, SCP-WOW-J is only to be stored in a standard humanoid containment cell. To provide some amusement, 100 mg of unsalted popcorn is to be crushed and dissolved in 1 Liter of distilled water and administered twice a month to a D-class personnel in presence of SCP-WOW-J. +++ [http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-wow-j/offset/0 « BACK]