GRANT REQUEST FOR THE USAGE OF BIOLOGICAL SIGNALING MOLECULES TO PROMOTE INTERPERSONAL COLLABORATION IN THE WORKPLACE

Link to article: GRANT REQUEST FOR THE USAGE OF BIOLOGICAL SIGNALING MOLECULES TO PROMOTE INTERPERSONAL COLLABORATION IN THE WORKPLACE.
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**PROBLEM**
Interpersonal collaboration and a pleasant work environment have always been the main forces behind Prometheus Labs' success, with cases of isolated geniuses few and far between.[[footnote]] Alison, D. (1975). History of Fire: Understanding Prometheus's Success. Prometheus Laboratories Internal Publishing, pg 9-25. [[/footnote]] Despite this, after three years of observation studies, it can be concluded without a doubt that a significant portion of Prometheus Labs employees suffer from [[[ GRANT REQUEST FOR GREENE TO STOP MAKING FUN OF ME|various ailments]]] that severely impair both their abilities to work in a group and their individual work efficacy. 

Approximately 30% display inordinate aggression toward other individuals,[[footnote]] Levy, A., Wasserman, T. (1968). Working in the Shadows: Workplace Stresses Behind the Veil. Prometheus Laboratories Journal of Psychology, 43(2) 11-15. [[/footnote]]^^,^^ [[footnote]] Shan'driazahla, K. (1973). A Rough Year for Prometheus Employees. Esterberg Weekly, Volume 74, pg 3-5. [[/footnote]]^^,^^ [[footnote]] Kamma, Y., et al. (1972). Employees of Normalcy Organizations, Prometheus Labs and Martial, Carter and Dark ltd. are More Susceptible to Chronic Stress and Anger Issues. Prometheus Laboratories Journal of Psychology, 51(1) 3-7. [[/footnote]] and in rarer cases even succumb to violent, rage-fueled outbursts.[[footnote]] Einy, N. (1971). Mad Scientists: An Analysis of Prometheus Labs Workplace Incidents. Deer Publishing, 23(2) 1-12, 15-17. [[/footnote]]^^,^^ [[footnote]] Williams, C. (1974). Top Ten Times Prometheus Scientists Went Bat-Shit Crazy. Deer College Odyssey, Volume 84, pg 5-7. [[/footnote]] Almost 40% show signs of social withdrawal and suffer from severe social anxiety, avoiding interaction with their co-workers whenever possible and isolating themselves, often leading to various forms of depression. Studies show these are not limited to Prometheus Labs, but are also prevalent in organizations such as the SCP Foundation and the Global Occult Coalition.[[footnote]] Thomson, R. (1967). Mental Crises in Containment. Internal SCP Foundation Publishing, released as part of an information exchange in 1972, 12(4) 1-12. [[/footnote]]


**SOLUTION**
Currently, Prometheus Labs addresses these issues with resource intensive solutions such as psychological counseling, group therapy or team-building exercises. Not only do these require the expenditure of significant monetary and human resources, their efficacy varies widely from case to case.[[footnote]] Benedikt, H., et al. (1965). The Challenges of Psychotherapy Behind the Veil, a Review. Internal SCP Foundation Publishing, shared with PL, the GOC and the FBI:UIU for humanitarian purposes, 3(1) 13-27, 32-41. [[/footnote]] Therefore, it is clear that a cheaper solution that provides more consistent results is required. 

Fortunately, an alternative method that meets the above requirements is readily available. By preventing the production of a specific type of biological signalling molecules and introducing a different one in its place, the human body can be made to gain immense psychological and physical benefits. These include, but are not limited to: 

* Increased Extroversion -- Subjects find themselves more sociable, interacting with their coworkers more frequently and engaging in group activities they had previously avoided.

* Higher Emotional Capacity -- Subjects’ emotions become more intense - significantly reducing dissociation and allowing them to connect more easily with other people.

* Better Sleeping Patterns -- Subjects report being able to sleep more easily, and more deeply, vastly improving their performance during the day.

* Reduced Aggression -- Subjects are less likely to start fights or arguments, enabling a calmer and more pleasant work environment. 

* Sweeter Body Odor -- Subjects’ natural body odor becomes less prominent and better smelling, causing coworkers to spend more time around them and encouraging cooperation. 

* Improved Concentration and Spacial Awareness -- Subjects are able to focus on tasks more easily, and are observed to be less clumsy, preventing many disastrous incidents with expensive lab equipment. 

* Slower Metabolism -- Subjects find themselves less hungry, and require less food to function. This is projected to save Prometheus Labs approximately 10$ USD per person in dietary expenses every month.

This treatment is composed of two different supplements; Anti-Androgens, which block the production of Androgenic hormones within the human body, and Estradiol, which replaces the Androgens as the primary sex hormone. Suitable suppliers have been identified as Ferring Pharmaceuticals and Novo Nordisk for Anti-Androgens and Estradiol respectively. Alternatively, Prometheus may cut costs by synthesizing both types of medicine itself, as it already possesses most of the infrastructure and equipment required to do so. 

**BUSINESS CASE**
Feminizing Hormone Therapy may be offered to all current employees of Prometheus Labs, and is projected to save the company millions of dollars yearly; it will reduce expenses such as psychotherapy and group counseling while increasing productivity across the board on both a personal and collaborative level. 

For these same reasons, FHT may be marketed to other organizations behind the Veil such as the SCP Foundation, the Global Occult Coalition, and Anderson Robotics, with a focus on improving workplace atmosphere and increasing productivity. Furthermore, the components of FHT are non-anomalous, and are not considered controlled substances in most countries. Therefore, non-anomalous corporations also form a viable client base for FHT.

In addition, FHT can also be offered to individual persons, both in anomalous communities such as Three Portlands and Esterberg and the general, non-anomalous population. As its distribution throughout the general population is heavily limited at this time, Prometheus may easily market FHT as a private alternative to most healthcare systems. 

Both types of outside buyers are projected to grant Prometheus an incredibly large, consistent, and long-lasting consumer base. This is because once a person begins treatment, only about 1% wish to stop, and they rely on the distributor for a steady supply of hormones to continue treatment.  

**USE OF FUNDING**
As mentioned in SOLUTION, FHT requires the subject to be treated by both Anti-Androgens and Estradiol regularly. If Prometheus chooses to outsource drug production, monthly costs for Anti-Androgens are estimated as 6 USD per person, while the monthly costs for Estradiol are estimated as 2-4 USD per person, depending on the amount of time a subject has undergone treatment. That being said, if Prometheus wants to go commercial, marketing to the global population, it may synthesize the drugs itself with a relatively small investment of 100,000 USD, which will be used to purchase additional equipment suitable for mass production. This is estimated to cut Prometheus's long-term expenses significantly, reducing the monthly costs of Anti-Androgens to 1 USD per person and Estradiol to 0.3-1.2 USD per person.

While it is difficult to estimate either the percentage of employees who would accept to be treated with FHT, or the percentage of clients amongst the general population, estimates show that it will always be profitable, even in extreme cases in which only <1% are interested in FHT.

**KNOWN ISSUES**
Feminizing Hormone Therapy has a few very rare side effects, such as blood clots in the lungs and legs and an increased risk for breast cancer. However, these can be mitigated by informing subjects about them and their warning signs, as if detected early, they are far easier and simpler to treat. Furthermore, some side effects of FHT are beneficial, such as a vastly reduced risk for prostate cancer, currently one of the most common types of cancer. Overall, it is believed that the benefits of FHT far outweigh its meager downsides. Its distribution throughout our organization will bring the best out of our employees worldwide, while marketing it to the general population will yield a lasting and loyal consumer base with minimal financial and legal risk. 

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[[span class="text"]]Alice, you do realize that your insurance already covers this, right?[[/span]]
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[[span class="text"]]IT DOES WHAT[[/span]]
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GRANT REQUEST FOR THE USAGE OF BIOLOGICAL SIGNALING MOLECULES TO PROMOTE INTERPERSONAL COLLABORATION IN THE WORKPLACE

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