Henzoid-Crocket Proposal

Link to article: Henzoid-Crocket Proposal.

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[[>]]
[[module Rate]]
[[/>]]

> You find the access tunnel, hidden within a Wendy's bathroom stall. 
> 
> You don't need a key card, the door is a jar. You grab some pickles and move on.
> 
> It smells here. Duh. You're in a public bathroom, idiot.
> 
> There is a slick trail that leads from the stall next to you and into the depths of the site. If it's blood or shit, or something that smeared off one of those //things//[[footnote]] humans [[/footnote]], you cannot tell. You make a point to avoid it.
> 
> You're still receiving the distress signal. Sighing, you turn your pager off.
> 
> Your footsteps echo throughout grimy sewers. You wish the site wasn't in such a gross, horrible place, but then again, so do //they//.
> 
> Elevator is down, so you take the stairs, ending on floor B935: The Authorization Hub. You run for literally hours because 935 floors is a lot of fucking stairs. 
> 
> You try not to think about [[[*SCP-087|087]]]. 
> 
> The trail takes you to another Wendy's, which is really weird, because you are very far underground. The door is closed, so you grab a big rock and throw it as hard as you can at the door. It opens with ease, because it wasn't even locked, you just didn't check. Dumbass.
> 
> Something throws itself at you like a horny teenager with daddy issues and tries to confront you. You tell it to piss off and run past it.
> 
> It seems hurt, and leaves. 
> 
> You finally find the source of the signal in a room near the back. It's dark and covered in trash, as if the resident was raised by raccoons and could never successfully navigate the social norms of humans.
> 
> The single desk lamp casts a gray haze on a copy of playboy magazine. You attempt to open it, but the pages are sealed shut. It emanates a smell so bad that it almost smells good, like a shit covered integer overflow.  It smells like a masturbating hobo with syphilis, like, I'm talking really going at it -- two hands and everything. It smells so bad it doesn’t even deserve a goofy simile. It’s ruined the concept.
> 
> You scan the room. Soiled clothes, half eaten food. Despite the presence of an adjoining restroom, there is excrement in a bucket in the corner. A hole connected to the kitchen suggests a diet of only chicken wings, as the entrance to the hole is stained with special sauce.
> 
> There's grease on the floor, forming a sickening puddle. You spot three cans - further inspection reveals them to be expired bud-light. They're all empty.
> 
> There's a desk with a computer atop it. Approaching the terminal, you can see an Alienware logo clearly pressed into the side.
> 
> You take a seat. Turn it on.

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[[=]]
++ Emergency Protocol Activated. "Homework" Folders Opened. Full Access Granted.
[[size smaller]] Secure. Contain. Protect.[[/size]]
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>  You hear footsteps just outside the door, and squelching.
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> A knock on the door startles you, and you drop your phone in a vat of oil. Fuck.
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> You tense up, hoping that whatever's outside is just smelling the sauce on the floor, and not you.
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[[=]]

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> The knocking stops. You sigh as the extremely slow computer finally shows you the file. Thanks for nothing, Wikidot.
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[[=]]
{{Opening File}}

++ **{{🔥 AUTOMATED SECURE SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ON WINDOWS (ASSNOW) 🔥}}**
{{There has been an error in retrieving the current iteration of the SCP-001 file. You are currently viewing revision #5. Newer revisions can be accessed at the bottom of this page. Thank you for coming to Wendy's, and we hope you have a mom-tacular day.}}
[[/=]]
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[[collapsible show="Access File: SCP-001 Revision #5/9: When Day Breaks Up" hide="Close File"]]

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+++ Revision 5/9 updated {{A Whole Buncha}} days ago
[[include component:image-block name=WendyBreaks.png|caption=SCP-001, minutes after its activation. Photographer unknown.|width=300px]]

**Item #:** [*http://www.scp-wiki.net/shaggydredlocks-proposal SCP-001] 

**Object Class:** Apollyon

**Special Containment Procedures:** Due to its nature, SCP-001 cannot be contained. Survivors of the SCP-001 event are to keep in touch, because it gets lonely out here. And no, I don't mean keep in touch like "let's add each other on Snapchat and then talk like 2 times a year," I mean like, share cool things that happen and actually have conversations. Just because we're not in the same physical space doesn't mean we can't still "hang out" with each other, and I'll be damned if I let distance be the thing that gives me another excuse to be antisocial. God.

Anyways, Personnel are advised not to go outdoors, for danger of being overtaken by SCP-001-A instances, and I of all people know that is a very very bad idea. Avoid all heavily populated areas, because they are absolutely crawling with those things, and I do not need more on my hands than I already have. 

Personnel are also to be advised that, despite SCP-001-A's apparent ties to Site-96 Researcher Karen Day, she is by no means responsible for this mess, and those who consider her to be are essentially victim-blaming.

Personnel stationed at Site-19 are to lock the fucking doors and hope to god there are still janitors in the building.

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To those of you with families, or God forbid, children - That sucks.
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**Every man for himself boys, I'm going to space.**
[[>]]
//- The Administrator//
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**Description:** SCP-001 is the designation given to the Sun, after an event on {{[SYSTEM ERROR]}} [[size smaller]]//Data lost: beep boop system.exe has failed ... rebooting. Please delete system-32 or contact Wendy's finger-lickin-good customer service.//[[/size]] resulting in ~6.9 billion exposures within the first twenty-four hours. The SCP-001 effect stems from visible light, as well as, in some rare cases, visible dark. For more information on the differences between visible light and ultraviolet light, please visit your local pre-school.

Upon contact with visible light produced by SCP-001, living organisms instantly transform into a pile of writhing goo. Visually, this is reminiscent of my fatass grandpa Earl every time he tries to sit down. 

Upon completion, these piles of goo (SCP-001-A) begin wiggling and jiggling about, until their shape looks sorta like a person again, though studies have shown that they still look like goo, and are fooling literally no one.

It doesn't affect animals because gross.

Due to their goo-ness, instances of SCP-001-A that make contact with one another become a bigger piece of goo. Even though this seems like it would be beneficial, it actually makes the goo way slower and dumber, and it usually just ends in the instance collapsing on itself and crying in shame. In these cases, SCP-001-A instances may be heard attempting to form rudimentary phrases such as "never love me, too fat" and "wish went more gym."

SCP-001-A instances have one main priority, and it's fucking bullshit. As soon as they are physically able, they will begin using any method possible, including walking, running, or hitching a ride, to attempt to position themselves closer, but not too close, to Researcher Day. Using what's left of their vocal systems, they will attempt to persuade her to become romantically involved with [DATE EXPUNGED]. This has never proven successful, and never will, because fuck [DATE EXPUNGED], I said never again and I meant it!
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[[collapsible show="Access File: SCP-001 Revision #6/9: Sheaf of Playas" hide="Close File"]]

**Item #:** [*http://www.scp-wiki.net/jonathan-ball-s-proposal SCP-001]

**Object Class:** not Safe for work

**Special Containment Procedures:** SCP-001 is contained in a specialized storage locker at Site-96. Once a month, the cover page is to be removed and held in a temporary storage locker, while the main one is cleaned through incineration. This incineration is to be carried out via flamethrowers by whichever personnel won the second place prize at staff bingo night, as it has proven to be "extremely awesome, and totally worth the $10 entry fee."

SCP-001's locker is to be constantly monitored, and each new page that appears is to be recorded and documented. At no point is Researcher Day allowed access to any files regarding SCP-001 or its manifestations.

**Description:** SCP-001 is a simple sheaf of papers, stapled together in the top right corner[[footnote]] Who fucking does that? It makes it so hard to read correctly! [[/footnote]]. The top sheet is a cover page reading simply, “Containr - The Dating Service by anomalies, for anomalies.” The number of subsequent papers stapled underneath grows by an average of one page per day, and does not show signs of slowing any time soon. 

Each new page added details a different anomalous entity, and lists attributes such as: 
* Positives about its own personality
* Favorites (color, food, music genre, etc...)
* Things it looks for in a partner

As well as including a section at the bottom for reviews by what appear to be past partners. Some of these are rough, to say the least.

**Addendum:** On {{[SYSTEM ERROR]}} [[size smaller]]//Sorry hun, we don't do specific times in this one.//[[/size]] Researcher Karen Day of Site-96 was captured on camera stealing SCP-001 from its containment locker and bringing it to her office. She spent the next 4 hours looking through various pages from it, presumably in search of a romantic interest. She was later reprimanded for breaking protocol, as well as talked to by the on-site psychologist for concerns involving non-human romantic interests. Though the majority of pages looked at by Researcher Day weren't possible to read through the camera, the following were.

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[[=]]
++ [*http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-173 curvynut_173]
-----
[[/=]]
+++++ **Pros:** Great personality, agile, gives amazing back-rubs

+++++ **Likes:** Long walks on the beach when no one is looking, feces and other forms of bodily excrement

+++++ **Favorite Song:** Blind by Korn

+++++ **Seeking:** A partner with a great sense of humor, and a firm neck. No eyes preferred, but not required.

-----
[[=]]
+++ User Reviews
[[/=]]
> **[*http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-4064 goldengirl_4064]:** He wasn't very gentle, and constantly tried to give me these ridiculous back rubs when I wasn't looking. ★★☆☆☆
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++ [*http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-049 doctorhunk_49]
-----
[[/=]]
+++++ **Pros:** Smart, currently developing a cure for the pestilence, fashionable

+++++ **Likes:** Human bodies, alive or dead. 

+++++ **Favorite Food:** Pure Menthol

+++++ **Seeking:** Male or female with a sense of adventure and a power-washed abdomen.

-----
[[=]]
+++ User Reviews
[[/=]]
> **[*http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-2662 coolthulu_2662]:** Kept trying to do experiments on me. I once woke up to him hunched over me, examining one of my tentacles. Other than that, actually a pretty chill guy. ★★★★☆
[[/div]]
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[[=]]
++ [*http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-4999 watchingman_4999]
-----
[[/=]]
+++++ **Pros:** Very attractive, considerate

+++++ **Likes:** Terminal illnesses

+++++ **Favorite Music Genre:** Smooth Jazz

+++++ **Seeking:** Anyone who feels lost in their final moments

-----
[[=]]
+++ User Reviews
[[/=]]
> **[account removed for extended absence]:** Showed up at my hospital room outa nowhere, started smoking and wouldn't answer any of my questions. What a nut job! I called security and th ★☆☆☆☆
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[[=]]
++ [*http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-096 goofynerd_96]
-----
[[/=]]
+++++ **Pros:** Huge and slender, very polite

+++++ **Likes:** Cuddling in bed on a warm summer afternoon, costume parties

+++++ **Favorite Color:** Pink

+++++ **Seeking:** An outgoing partner to help me open up more. 

-----
[[=]]
+++ User Reviews
[[/=]]
> **[*http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-4885 whereslove_4885]:** Didn't like going outdoors, and wouldn't stop crying. Didn't let me see his face either, which was hard to deal with. When I asked if he was into voreplay, he just got upset and started breaking shit. ★★☆☆☆
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[[=]]
++ [*http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-2521 ●●|●●●●●|●●|●]
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[[/=]]
+++++ **👍:** 🤐 🤪 😇

+++++ **😄:** 👫

+++++ **🏃:** 📚

+++++ **😘:** ❤️❤️❤️ 

-----
[[=]]
+++ ✍
[[/=]]
> **💪🧔☝:** 👋😻❤️💋👌 ★★★★★
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[[=]]
++ [*http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-682 hrdtodestroyrptl_682]
-----
[[/=]]
+++++ **Pros:** Adventurous, hardcore, literally cannot be killed

+++++ **Likes:** Being shot, graphic novels, hiking

+++++ **Favorite Activity:** Bathing in bleach

+++++ **Seeking:** Some one to physically challenge me, and who likes sports

-----
[[=]]
+++ User Reviews
[[/=]]
> **wizardlizard:** Would not recommend. Very egotistical, constantly bragging about his writing skills but would not show me his work. Also he said his dick was melted off by acid, but he’s just trying to hide the fact he’s got a micro. ★☆☆☆☆
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[[collapsible show="Access File: SCP-001 Revision #7/9: The Broken-Up-With God" hide="Close File"]]
[[include component:image-block name=Wendy.jpg|caption=Susan B. Jenkins (left), current leader of the Church Of Mechanical Entities. Date unknown.]]


**Item #:** [*http://www.scp-wiki.net/twistedgears-kaktus-proposal SCP-001]

**Object Class:** Metal[[footnote]] After excessive debates between every branch of the SCP Foundation, including but not limited to: The Overseer Council, The Ethics Committee, The Classification Committee, The Site Directors Committee, and the Committee Committee, no classification for SCP-001 was agreed upon. At some point, a researcher who wasn't part of it said "I mean, we can all agree it's metal, right?" and so here we are. [[/footnote]]

**Special Containment Procedures:** SCP-001 is, at this time, uncontained. Research into methods of amending this are ongoing, so if anybody hears anything about traps for like, giant deific robots, PLEASE let us know, because it would be super duper helpful.

The followers of SCP-001, hereby referred to as the Church Of Mechanical Entities (COME), is a large enough group to threaten normalcy. However, their common practices are largely self-containing, which prevents them from being a nuisance. If any COME members start misbehaving, as per Agreement-COME-IN, they are to be reprimanded via harsh ridicule and non-sexualized spanking.

Rituals performed by COME for the sake of SCP-001, while often large and public, have yet to cause any major damage or threaten a breach in public normalcy. That being said, it would still be good to keep an eye on them, because they do some really weird stuff. 

Researcher Day, also as per Agreement-COME-IN, is to be monitored for possible connections and/or affiliation with SCP-001 and COME. 

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**Description:** SCP-001 is a collection of anomalous and non-anomalous items held together by scotch tape and Elmer’s glue, forming a single, massive mechanical entity refered to as Mekhane, assembled by members of the Church Of Mechanical Entities in 20██ within the basement of a Wendy's in El Paso, Texas. Items include [[[SCP-217]]], [[[SCP-1139]]], [[[SCP-882]]], a Samsung Galaxy brand smartphone, several light bulbs, a bear trap, a metal water bottle without a cap, the carrying case for an unknown device, a desk fan, a table fan, a ceiling fan, an impossibly tangled headphone wire, a metal water bottle cap, and every single item from the March issue of SkyMall.

Mekhane's primary goal is to serve as rudimentary containment for a giant gross flesh monster known as Yaggablabba. Yaggablabba's ongoing fight against Mekhane is believed to be the cause of several known anomalies, all organic based. While Mekhane is presumed to be the god of machines by COME, Yaggablabba is similarly presumed to be the god of H E Double hockey sticks.

Aside from keeping Yaggablabba at bay, SCP-001 also communicates with COME, giving them missions, which they call Rituals, that often revolve around creating needlessly complicated machines that do extremely specific nonsense, all for the express goal of sending unique and predictive messages to Site-96's own Researcher Karen Day. A list of notable Rituals can be found below.

[[include component:image-block name=MexiMiss.png|caption=Before and After images of Mexico, as a result of Incident-02.]]

**Incident-01:** Members of COME built an extremely large fan, wrote down a phone number on a piece of paper, folded the paper into a paper airplane, and threw it into the fan's air-stream. The airplane traveled roughly ███ km before sailing through an open window in Site-96 and onto Researcher Day's lap. Upon inspection, she called the number on the page. On the other end was the sound of a hydraulic press making uniform compressions. Further review found these to be morse code for the phrase "Hey babe, where you been?"

**Incident-02:** Members of COME built terrain-displacement charges, and placed them in specific locations across the country of Mexico. Researcher Day was sent an anonymous email with a link to a live feed from a satellite of the country, during which the charges were set off. Devastating loss of life and damage occurred, and it took extremely intensive Foundation efforts to amnesticise the population about Mexico's shape and origins.  

**Incident-03:** Members of COME hacked into the servers of a social media application known as Discord, both creating an account for Mekhane, as well as adding it to Researcher Day's friend list. The following conversation is what transpired.

[[include :scp-wiki:component:discord-chat-source |inc-source= --] ]]

[[include :scp-wiki:component:discord-chat-source |inc-user= --]
|user-id=one
|username=Metal_Momma
|usericon=f
|usercolor=#ffffff
]]

[[include :scp-wiki:component:discord-chat-source |inc-user= --]
|user-id=two
|username=shewasagamergirl
|usericon=f
|usercolor=#fffff
]]

[[include :scp-wiki:component:discord-chat-source |inc-start= --] ]]

[[include :scp-wiki:component:discord-chat-source |inc-msg-start= --]
|user-id=one
|username=Metal_Momma
|msg-time=Today at 1:43 PM
]]
Heyyyyy gurl
[[include :scp-wiki:component:discord-chat-source |inc-msg-end= --] ]]

[[include :scp-wiki:component:discord-chat-source |inc-msg-start= --]
|user-id=two
|username=shewasagamergirl
|msg-time=Today at 1:45 PM
]]
Uh, who is this?
[[include :scp-wiki:component:discord-chat-source |inc-msg-end= --] ]]

[[include :scp-wiki:component:discord-chat-source |inc-attch= --]
|attch-id=attch-one
|user-id=one
|username=Metal_Momma
|msg-time=Today at 1:46 PM
|attchname=NSFWgear.png
|attchsize=8.87 MB
|attchlink=http://smlt.wdfiles.com/local--files/collab:wdbu/NSFWgear.png
]]
[[include :scp-wiki:component:discord-chat-source |inc-msg-start= --]
|user-id=one
|username=Metal_Momma
|msg-time=Today at 1:48 PM
]]
OH MY GOD
THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT
I MEANT TO SEND THAT TO SOMEONE ELSE
[[include :scp-wiki:component:discord-chat-source |inc-msg-end= --] ]]



[[include :scp-wiki:component:discord-chat-source |inc-end= --] ]]

**Incident-04:** Members of COME created a phone application called "Candy Crush Saga”’ which, for all phones except Researcher Day's, presented itself as a harmless video game, if predatory in its implementation of microtransactions. When Researcher Day downloaded it, however, it instead unblocked Mekhane's number on her phone. She immediately received an influx of texts, the following of which were recorded before Researcher Day promptly threw her phone into a lake.

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[[div id="myTextMessageConvoDiv" style="color:white; border-radius: 25px; background: #73AD21;padding: 15px;width: 300px; height: 500px;float:left;"]]
You're missing out

You're making a huge mistake

I don't even care about Pesterbot, they're just a friend

Skippy too. Those were both 1 time things.

Respond to me

Respond to me

Respond to me

...

Fine, I don't even care anyways, I've got this big stupid fleshbeast who's stuck with me and compared to it, you're nothing. Augh, I don't even get why you would leave me, I'm so done with this anyways I don't even want you back.

...

...

...

Miss you <3
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[[collapsible show="Access File: SCP-001 Revision #8/9: The Spiral Path" hide="Close File"]]
[[include component:image-block name=NEWwendyspath.png|caption=One portion of SCP-001.|width=300px]]
**Item #:** [*http://www.scp-wiki.net/dr-manns-proposal SCP-001]

**Object Class:** Embla

**Special Containment Procedures:** SCP-001 is contained on a hill, because it is on a hill. Site-0, which is on a hill, is to be positioned on a hill so as to contain SCP-001, which is on a hill. No attempts are to be made to move SCP-001 off of said hill, for fear of causing a NOH-K Class "Not On Hill" scenario.

**Description:** SCP-001 is a circular gravel path in a wooded area. When traveled in a counter-clockwise direction, the trail continues around an indeterminate number of times, spiraling and spiraling, much like how you're spiraling out of control with these partners, Karen. We're worried about you.

I know we've had our differences, and honestly, I take full responsibility for what's happened in the past, but we need to move past that for the sake of you. I still love you, and whether or not you love me back, I care about your well-being. This pattern of behavior, going through partners faster than anyone can count, it's not what's best for you. You need help, and I, for one, can be there for you, even if you won't take me back. 

Unless, of course, you want to get back together, in which case... [[image eyes.png]]
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[[collapsible show="Access File: SCP-001 Revision #9/9 Current Iteration Uploaded One (1) Minute Ago" hide="Close File"]]

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**Item #:** 

[[=]]
//Your eyes, as pungent as your nose
Your lips, as full as any vase
Your body: beauty wrapped in clothes//
[[/=]]
**Object Class:**
[[=]]
//I watch on as you strike a pose
The sunbeams bouncing off your face
So happy with the path you chose//
[[/=]]
**Special Containment Procedures:**
[[=]]
//You run to me, both our eyes close
I bring you into my embrace
If true love is, then my mind knows//
[[/=]]

**Description:**
[[=]]
//But something stopped, you did enclose
I lagged behind, I lost the race
It wasn't true love, I suppose//
[[/=]]

[[include component:image-block name=sun3.jpg|align=center|caption=System ERR0ROROR0R0R0ROR#@&#.|width=500px]]
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> Even though you didn't press any buttons, the file closes, and is replaced by a... ah fuck what's the word for like, a moving image. Oh wait, video, right. I'm tired, okay?
> 
> It's a live feed, looking at you from behind your chair. 
> 
> A disgusting, fleshy hand grabs for your shoulder.
>  
> You shout, and jump forwards, narrowly missing being grabbed by a slimy creep.
> 
> You tell him to fuck off, before shoving a flashbang down his gullet and hurling him across the room.
> 
> As the explosion goes off, it rocks the foundation of the building. Suddenly, swarms of creatures begin to surround you. 
> 
> The creatures reek, as they cram against the weak door frame. 
> 
> Shouting about how it isn't too late for a second chance, the creatures storm the building.
> 
> From every direction, blobs of shame and regret envelop you.
> 
> Hands and arms stretch out of the mass, pulling you up, passing you from one to the next, on and on down the line. They drag you past the empty friers, out the door and to the elevator. 
> 
> The elevator is still broken, so you wait, grumbling, as they haul you up 935 flights of stairs.
> 
> You're afforded a few, precious moments in the darkness.
> 
> And at the end of the tunnel, there is... oh god.
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.footnotes-footer { 
display:none;
}
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> **Researcher Day:** Heeeeeyyyyyyyy... great to uhhhh... see you again.
> 
> **[DATE EXPUNGED]:** I hope you see the lesson I have been trying to teach you. Look around, see the mess you've forced me to unleash.
> 
> **Researcher Day:** Wait wait wait... you melted like 7 billion people to prove you love me?
> 
> **[DATE EXPUNGED]:** ...Yes.
> 
> **Researcher Day:** ...
> 
> **[DATE EXPUNGED]:** ...
> 
> **Researcher Day:** That's kinda hot.

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Henzoid-Crocket Proposal

Module Styles

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Includes

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Page Source