Link to article: llama66613's Author Page.
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**Name:** Raymond "Annoying-ass numbers" Llama **Clearance:** Level 3 **Occupation:** General research specialist **Profile:** Despite being on the Foundation payroll, Dr. Llama has never actually performed a day of work. What appears to be Dr. Llama sitting in his office every day is in fact a crudely built animatronic repeating the phrases “This is looking to be another fruitful, completely legitimate work period,” “Wow! This object is exhibiting anomalous properties which I am currently researching!” and “I sure hope we don’t have another containment breach, ha ha, am I right colleague?”. Dr. Llama’s other work is actually performed a complex array of robots, holograms, and artificial intelligences simulating his semblance. Dr. Llama’s absence was discovered 6 Feb ████ when a colleague attempted to invite him to a party celebrating his thirty years of non-fatal employment. Since then, contact with the actual Dr. Llama has only been achieved once, undergoing a remote interview in which he confirmed his life was “exactly like //Ferris Bueller's Day Off// times 365.” It is entirely possible and even likely that Dr. Llama has since deceased, and his equipment continues employment unmoderated. **Reports issued by --Dr. Llama-- Dr. Llama’s automated systems:** [[[SCP-1584]]] - The one with the life preserver [[[SCP-1689]]] - The one with the potatoes [[[SCP-2187]]] - The one with the esperantists [[[SCP-2584]]] - The one with the snakes [[[SCP-2282]]] - The one with the goat **Collabs:** [[[SCP-1528]]] - The one with the fix-all (In collaboration with [[[dr-rogets-file|Roget]]]) [[collapsible show="+ What it is I have to say about this." hide="- And that's all I have to say about that."]] **SCP-1584:** I know that first SCPs being very successful and the author being really surprised is a cliche. It was totally unexpected for me because I was intentionally unambitious. I'd been reading the site for a long time and actually had a few ideas, but was never motivated to join the site and write 'em because they were all okay to sort of cool, and would take a fair amount of effort. One day (story elided) I had the idea for floatationdevice, and wanted to write it simply because it didn't //need// any more. Right now my goal is to surpass its success. **SCP-1689:** A friend suggested I write an SCP which was a sack of potatoes stolen from a poor Siberian village. I like exploration logs. I tried to strike a balance of humor and creepy immersion with this one, because being trapped in a cavern of potatoes is pretty scary to me. I don't know if it's as unsettling as I wanted, but peopled liked the jokes so I'm not complaining. Oh, and one thing people may have noticed but I haven't seen anybody comment on: Imagine if your isolated village relied on a single sack of potatoes for food for more than a century, and then a mysterious group of individuals just showed up and took it. Yeah. Not gonna do so well. **SCP-1528:** This was my project straight out of floatationdevice. I wrote a draft and showed it around and Roget liked the idea. And I... didn't do anything. Wrote SCP-1689 and parts of other SCPs that are still floating around my sandbox. A while later Roget encouraged me to work on it still, and suggested we collaborate. Maybe I could say he was the Jobs and I was the Wozniak (if I knew anything about early Apple history). I'm very happy with the changes he made and how it eventually turned out. **SCP-2187:** This is my best idea. By far. None of the other ones compare. Unfortunately, I haven't a goddamn clue how to write it. It's sort of a shame that I rushed to complete it for the 2000 contest, as I otherwise would have taken a lot more time with it. Oh well. It didn't turn our horrible. I'll do a partial rewrite just to clean it up a little pretty soon, and possibly a major rewrite at some point in the future. **SCP-2584:** I really like loop snakes. People wondered whether or not the Foundation would really keep them as pets; I don't know. I just really //want// the Foundation to let people keep them as pets. Because they would make really great pets. I did the photoshop myself for this one. It shows. [[/collapsible]] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]