Link to article: Log Of Anomalous Items, Vol VI.
[[>]] [[module rate]] [[/>]] > **Foreword:** The SCP Foundation has discovered a substantial number of items which are simply too useless to merit further attention. This document lists those items which have prompted some curiosity. It may be used as a resource should knowledge of these items become useful or necessary in the future. > – Dr. █████ █████, Head of Research, Site-██ This is the sixth volume of the log, and remains open to new entries. The [[[log-of-anomalous-items| first]]], [[[log-of-anomalous-items-vol-ii| second]]], [[[log-of-anomalous-items-vol-iii| third]]], [[[log-of-anomalous-items-vol-iv| fourth]]] and [[[log-of-anomalous-items-vol-v| fifth]]] volumes have been archived. Lists of [[[log-of-extranormal-events| Extranormal Events]]] and [[[log-of-unexplained-locations| Unexplained Locations]]] have also been compiled. ---- [[f>toc]] //**Note:** Please add new entries to the bottom of the list, not the middle or the top.// [!-- Common formatting: **Item Description:** **Date of Recovery:** **Location of Recovery:** **Current Status:** --] [!-- After every 10 entries, add +++ Anomalous Items XXX1 - XXX0 --] +++ Anomalous Items 1251 - 1260 **Item Description:** A small stuffed giraffe animal. Anomalous effects occur when the object is taken during the holder's vacation[[footnote]] It is unknown how the object detects vacations or extended periods of time from the holder's place of work. [[/footnote]] where the object will reappear at its last location prior to being taken. The holder of the object will then become visibly upset upon realization of the missing object. **Date of Recovery:** 2023-08-23 **Location of Recovery:** Private residence in Manchester, UK. **Current Status:** Held in Anomalous Object Storage at Site-40. **Item Description:** A rimless standard automotive road tire, which upon contact with any sort of road surface initiates autonomous movement, independent of any external force or propulsion. **Date of Recovery:** 2010-07-03 **Location of Recovery:** Tollbooth on the Interstate 90 near Hanover, New York, USA. **Current Status:** Held in Object Repository 2 at Site-47. **Item Description:** A miniature fog machine that, when held, causes all beings other than the wielder in a 500-meter radius to have all of their perceptory senses completely nullified, with those affected having reported a "cold" entity covering their eyes. **Date of Recovery:** 11/07/2022 **Location of Recovery:** ████████, Alaska **Current Status:** Held in storage at site-██ **Item Description:** An unidentified species of spider notably with an undulating abdomen, when in physical contact with a subjects skin, subjects will feel a crawling sensation around their body for an indefinite duration. **Date of Recovery:** 23-09-2022 **Location of Recovery:** Greenwich, London **Current Status:** Resides within an insectarium at Site-88 **Notes:** //Yes, an Insectarium can have other inhabitants other than Insects.// **Item Description:** A rectangular oakwood breadbox that contains an aluminium breadbox of equal size within itself. This aluminum breadbox contains a ceramic breadbox of equal size within itself. This ceramic breadbox contains a plastic breadbox of equal size within itself. This pattern seemingly continues infinitely. **Date of Recovery:** 8/28/23 **Location of Recovery:** Residence outside of Kangar, Malaysia **Current Status:** Contained in Site-351. //Notes: Testing of this item has been halted in part due to the emergence of breadboxes made of harmful materials (AO-1255-319 was composed of Lead, AO-1255-320 was composed of Technetium-99m), and upon the subsequent realization that it is not possible to place a breadbox back inside of another breadbox of equal size.// **Item Description:** A custom-built revolver matching no known model of firearm. It is engraved with ornate patterns along the barrel depicting numerous figures kneeling as if in prayer. The object of their worship is not depicted. Any shot fired from the weapon is guaranteed to hit its target, so long as an attempt is made to aim towards it, and the injuries inflicted upon any living target struck are invariably fatal. Firing it instantly kills the wielder. Anyone who touches the object becomes immediately aware of its anomalous properties. **Date of Recovery:** 1/27/98 **Location of Recovery:** Cellar under an abandoned bar in Chicago, Illinois **Current Status:** Held in the High-Security Anomalous Weapons Storage Wing of Site-██ **Item Description:** A large granite stone, hovering in perpetual stasis. A narrow slit extends deep into the object, originating at it's top. A plaque on the front reads "Can you get it out?" **Date of Recovery:** 4/01/1998 **Location of Recovery:** Nottingham, England **Current Status:** Buried beneath a large mound of dirt. Signs placed around indicate that it is private property. **Notes:** //Sword remains to be found. - Dr. Lafrentz.// **Item Description:** Wooden trunk, seemingly ordinary. A brass plaque on the underside of the lid indicates that it was built in the state of Kentucky in 1910 by E.Q. Randolph. The materials and construction of the item are common for the period; however, the internal volume of the trunk is approximately triple what should be possible given its exterior dimensions. Also, there is no record that anyone known as E.Q. Randolph has ever existed, in Kentucky or anywhere. **Date of Recovery:** 8/23/2023 **Location of Recovery:** A thrift store in Montgomery, Alabama **Current Status:** In storage; research into the item's provenance is ongoing. **Item Description:** A bust depicting an unknown individual with thick, curly hair, large cheeks, and prominent wrinkles. The bust is comprised entirely of ~4,000,000,000 inseparable grains of sand. **Date of Recovery:** 1990-06-03 **Location of Recovery:** Agios Prokopios, Naxos, Greece **Current Status:** Held in a Size-IV object storage locker at Site-367. **Item Description:** A copy of an early draft of the Magna Carta as written by Cardinal Stephen Langton (1148-1228), engraved on a Martian boulder. Notably, this draft still contains mentions of the early [[a href="/scp-2079"]][REDACTED][[/a]] before its removal by agents of the Vatican, making it the highest-quality early record of [COGNITOHAZARD EXPUNGED] infiltration to date. **Date of Recovery:** 1962-11-29 **Location of Recovery:** -███°██'██", +██°██'██", Olympus Mons, Mars **Current Status:** AO-1260 successfully relocated to Earth via SCPBEaTRIX VI mission 1985-10-26. Currently held at Site-367 for long-term storage. +++ Anomalous Items 1261 - 1270 **Item Description:** One indigestible carrot, currently in --26-- 59 pieces. Energy and mass from the object are wholly unable to be converted or removed, causing the intact fragments to inevitably reemerge 1-5 days after consumption. **Date of Recovery:** 1996-02-12 **Location of Recovery:** [REDACTED] Hospital in Mukawa, Hokkaido prefecture, Japan **Current Status:** Held at Site-195 for long-term thermodynamics research. **Item Description:** One skateboard hand-painted with designs of various Brazilian politicians as mythical creatures and cartoon characters. When an individual attempts to perform an "ollie" with the item and manages to bring it >25 centimeters upward, the item will teleport to the nearest flat surface with preservation of momentum. No additional items or entities are teleported. **Date of Recovery:** 2023-04-26 **Location of Recovery:** A physics laboratory at Federal University of Ceará, Fortaleza, Brazil. **Current Status:** Held at Site-95's Vehicular Translocation Lab for initial testing. **Item Description:** A digital file entitled "iswearthisisisit.mp4". On the file is most of an unknown high fantasy film of generally unremarkable quality, sans the first several minutes and the credits, as recorded from an unknown movie theater. The appearance of certain actors suggests an origin in the mid 2040's, though this remains unconfirmed. Most noticeably, several instances of [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2009 SCP-2009-01][[footnote]] Humans whose appearances and personalities have been altered by the fungal disease known as SCP-2009, all of whom answer to "Thomas Hoang". [[/footnote]] are visible in the theater, accompanied by an unidentified chaperone. The instances are generally unintrusive, although one is later shushed by other theatergoers for repeated cheering during the film's third act. **Date of Recovery:** 2021-02-24 **Location of Recovery:** www.████████████████.███ **Current Status:** Held at Media Containment Area-88. Relevant information shared with SCP-2009's containment team, although no plans for recontainment have been drafted on account of the event's current nonexistence. **Item Description:** Plastic mask modeled after the fictional character of ██████-███ which, when worn, will cause the wearer to believe they are a mutant entity by the name of "Majoomble Beeble" and to refuse to answer to any other name. While effected, they will believe that they possess supernatural speed, strength, and durability. The mask does not grant these abilities. The effects end once the mask is removed. **Date of Recovery:** 6/4/21 **Location of Recovery:** Confiscated from civilian residence in Brooklyn, NYC. **Current Status:** Contained in anomalous articles storage, Site-28. **Item Description:** Instructions for a thaumaturgic ritual allowing a user to "fully stabilize an object". Decryption of glyphs implies that any object affected by this ritual will be "locked" into its current static position in the universe and will become totally unaffected by outside forces. However, successful application will invariably cause the object to fly off into the distance at great speed from the viewer’s perspective due to the Earth’s rotation and movement through space. Instructions are written in blue ink on a previously crumpled piece of copy paper. **Date of Recovery:** 2023-08-28 **Location of Recovery:** ████ Library, University of ████████, Baltimore, Maryland **Current Status:** Contained in a storage locker at Site-134. **Item Description:** A 43-inch Samsung smart TV. When tuned to any channel or streaming application associated with the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC), the television will display an unidentified male pundit, who paces a narrow street[[footnote]]Corresponding with Ross Lane ("Graffiti Alley"), parallel to Queen Street West, Toronto.[[/footnote]] and monologues about contemporary politics. To date, this host has never ceased commentary, the camera has never cut away, and background lighting has never changed. **Date of Recovery:** 2018-04-12 **Location of Recovery:** Commercial electronics store in downtown Toronto, Ontario. **Current Status:** Stored in the employee lounge at Site-201 to encourage awareness of current events above the Veil. **Item Description:** A box of Crayola brand crayons containing sixteen colors that don't exist in any other box. Such colors include "Demon's Bile", "Skies of the Apocalypse", "Orange Beyond Comprehension", and "Key Lime Pie". When used to draw, these crayons produce images related to their name regardless of what the user attempts to draw. **Date of Recovery:** 2005-01-19 **Location of Recovery:** Elementary School in Plainfield, New Jersey **Current Status:** In storage. **Item Description:** A large pet carrier that contains a lesser demonic entity with the head of a rabid dog and the body of a reticulated python. Runes are carved and painted onto the side of the carrier, and the entity is incapable of leaving it even as the door is opened. Any material produced by the entity is trapped within the carrier as well, such as the acidic bile it spits and the skin it sheds. **Date of Recovery:** 1995-05-20 **Location of Recovery:** Church in ███████, Kentucky **Current Status:** Held in the Demonic Containment Wing of Site-██. **Item Description:** A mason jar in which a number of non-anomalous insects will appear at night during the summer. Species seen manifesting within the jar include painted lady butterflies (//Vanessa cardui//), common eastern fireflies (//Photinus pyralis//), and asian tiger mosquitos (//Aedes albopictus//). All insects that manifest in the jar will demanifest within a few hours of appearing or whenever the jar is opened. Item's anomalous properties are nullified when the jar is left open. **Date of Recovery:** 2019-07-04 **Location of Recovery:** Springfield, Massachusetts **Current Status:** In storage from September to May, in Dr. Piper's office from June to August. **Item Description:** An unmarked white detonator stick with a bright red button made of plastic. The button remains spring-loaded up via an unknown mechanism; upon disassembly, the internals of the hollow stick are empty, and opening it immediately stops the button from being usable. Viewers including those seeing it remotely through cameras, and those who are within 12 meters of the button experience a compulsion to press it, yet are unable to bring themselves to do so at the final stages of preparing to press it. Those in the 12 meter area will feel distress upon the button being pressed. Pressing the button has been revealed to do nothing, although it makes such a satisfying click in the recording... **Date of Recovery:** 2008-11-21 **Location of Recovery:** Under a couch at 16 Balmoral Street, Toronto, Ontario, Canada. **Current Status:** In a glass box covered in cloth. Occasionally taken out to Site-43's storage room to show it off to new researchers, as a demonstration of mentally altering effects. //Note: Yes, you are allowed access to the button upon request. No, that doesn't mean you can dare your coworkers to press it and then not work for six hours while the coworker has a panic attack.// +++ Anomalous Items 1271 - 1280 **Item Description:** One male //Vulpes vulpes//[[footnote]] Red fox [[/footnote]] comprised of various woven grasses. No individual organs exist, with the interior instead being uniform and featureless. Object generally shows expected intelligence and behavior for its species, but is functionally immortal due to its non-centralized brain function and the possibility of repair. **Date of Recovery:** 1956-06-20 **Location of Recovery:** Daisen-Oki National Park, Japan **Current Status:** Held in a custom enclosure at Site-19. Object nicknamed "Flora" by containment staff. **Item Description:** A new irreplicable platonic solid made from styrofoam, with a surface consisting of thirteen heptagons with a side length of 6 cm. Attempts to trace its surface often result in sub light speed teleportation, either across its surface or to the hollow interior of the structure if size permits. **Date of Recovery:** 1979-07-27 **Location of Recovery:** Laboratory at the University of Balochistan, Quetta, Pakistan **Current Status:** Held in Site-127's AGEZ-α[[footnote]] Anomalous Geometry Exclusion Zone Alpha [[/footnote]]. **Item Description:** A black cassiterite crystal weighing 415 grams. While held, the holder firmly believes that "shadow" or "void" or a variation thereof[[footnote]] e.g. "space", "darkness", "aether", "blackness", "nothingness", "null"[[/footnote]] should be classified among all elemental systems, such as the periodic table, lists of elementary particles, and any fantasy magic system that attempts to fully categorize its magic variants. This belief instantly subsides upon releasing the object. **Date of Recovery:** 1923-09-15 **Location of Recovery:** In the crypt below Saint George Greek Orthodox Church, Beirut, Lebanon **Current Status:** Held in a Size-II object storage locker at Site-367 with appropriate memetic hazard warnings. **Item Description:** A marble statue of a young woman holding a basket. Humans directly viewing this statue are initially convinced that its robes have never been painted regardless of prior knowledge, though can be persuaded otherwise. **Date of Recovery:** 1965-05-27 **Location of Recovery:** Ruins of Rhamnous, Attica, Greece **Current Status:** Held in a Size-VI object storage locker at Site-265. **Notes:** Analysis of remaining flakes of paint indicate that AO-1274's robes were in fact once a light aquamarine. **Item Description:** One ██████-brand package of black-colored gobstopper candies, which, when bitten, implode violently in the mouth of the person who bit them, turning into a small black hole which then rapidly dissolves into Hawking radiation. **Date of Recovery:** 9/19/2023 **Location of Recovery:** ██████, Florida **Current Status:** Contained in Site-37 Size-B containment. //Note: "I don't think gobstoppers are supposed to do that..." - Jr. Researcher ████// **Item Description:** One //Cyanea capillata//[[footnote]] Lion's mane jellyfish [[/footnote]] comprised of several hundred plastic grocery bags. Item is capable of levitation and does not require food, though will occasionally mimic eating when provided with its expected diet. Behavior is abnormally friendly and curious, with aggression only being shown when recreational items or similar anomalies are removed from its enclosure. **Date of Recovery:** 2001-06-07 **Location of Recovery:** Abandoned █████████ and Sons Grocery Store, Coatzacoalos, Veracruz, Mexico **Current Status:** Held in a suitably large enclosure at Site-75 with occasional visitation from other constructed anomalies to ensure enrichment. **Item Description:** Metal sign reading "No dogs allowed past this point". Any animal in the genus //Canis// is physically incapable of moving past the sign of its own accord or being moved past the sign by an outside force. How this occurs is unknown. **Date of Recovery:** 2023-09-01 **Location of Recovery:** Outside a public beach in Miami, FL **Current Status:** In storage. **Item Description:** A small device of hasty but highly knowledgeable construction which constantly emits a faint buzzing noise at 14 kHz and derives power from [5/4039 CLEARANCE REQUIRED]. When any individual observes or attempts to discern the location of AO-1278, the item teleports to a random unobserved location, preferably within 10 meters of the original location. **Date of Recovery:** 2022-12-05 **Location of Recovery:** A Chaos Insurgency site in [REDACTED], Mexico **Current Status:** Item lost in Site-195, Warehouse 03 during initial containment amidst testing of an unorthodox reacquisition method. Last sighted 2023-08-25 under Technician Access Port L3325-H. Current location is believed to be somewhere in the basement of Site-195, Warehouse 03A, most likely between Greater Technician Access Zones M32 and N36, though buzzing has been detected as far away as GTAZ-G29, GTAZ-O16, GTAZ-Z38, and Site-195's Aetherial Occlusion Lab. Recovery is considered a Moderate priority. **Item Description:** One adult female //Raphus cucullatus//[[footnote]] Dodo [[/footnote]] moving at approximately 1/1,000,000,000th speed. A significant amount of scratches exist across its feathers, though due to the fleeting nature of the respective causes, no actual damage has occurred to or been noticed by AO-1279. As of 2021-02-03, AO-1279 is believed to have experienced a subjective 12.4 seconds since its capture in the summer of 1629 CE by the Commission on Unusual Cargo. **Date of Recovery:** 1929-12-15 **Location of Recovery:** [REDACTED], England, during the transfer of anomalies from the decommissioned HMFSCP to the young SCP Foundation. **Current Status:** Held in a stress-free long-term animal containment unit at Site-195. Proposals to attempt to communicate with AO-1279 have been denied due to the necessary time investment and its low intelligence. **Item Description:** The blade of a spatha produced sometime in the late 2nd or early 3rd century CE. When contacted by a living or deceased human, the item will produce roughly 10-70 grams of salt from its surface per second. The amount of salt produced and its location of origin correlates to the contacting individual, although no further pattern has been determined. **Date of Recovery:** 1949-01-30 **Location of Recovery:** Cavern beneath [REDACTED], Turkey, along with approximately ███,000,000 kilograms of salt due to the attached remains of an unknown adult male. **Current Status:** Held in a Size-III object storage locker at Site-248. Created salt successfully transferred to Foundation Financial Resources as of 1962-07-16. +++ Anomalous Items 1281 - 1290 **Item Description:** One highly worn ████████ brand men's flannel jacket. Upon donning the item, the current wearer will believe themselves to be the only person alive to truly understand the meaning of //American Pie//, a 1971 song by Don McLean. This effect subsides on doffing the item or listening to any other song in its entirety. **Date of Recovery:** 2002-11-07 **Location of Recovery:** Thrift store in Duquesne, Pennsylvania, USA **Current Status:** Held in Apparel Frame SAF060-U23-46559 at Site-60. **Item Description:** Nineteen //Ceratotherium simum//[[footnote]] White rhinoceros [[/footnote]] whose front most horns resemble various instruments, fifteen of which are brass instruments. This trait is genetically transmissible. Specimens are otherwise healthy and normal, beyond an improperly developed right hind leg in AO-1282-04. **Date of Recovery:** 2009-07-10 **Location of Recovery:** Various locations in Mozambique and Zimbabwe **Current Status:** Held in Site-135's Eastern Extraspacial Enclosure to prohibit human and SCP-9142 poaching. **Item Description:** Cheung ████ (1996-), who is aware of all humans exactly 50 meters away in any direction and whether they are approaching or leaving. No other information is dispensed this way. **Date of Recovery:** 2022-06-10 **Location of Recovery:** Private residence in Yau Tsim Mong, Hong Kong, China **Current Status:** --In low-level humanoid containment at Site-06-3.-- Undergoing testing for the Employed Anomaly Program due to his previously unused degree in biochemical engineering. **Item Description:** Slightly battered copy of //Dracula//, printed in 1986, which can only be read by someone intending to enjoy the book for its own sake. If the book is opened by someone intending to read it for some other purpose, such as self-improvement, the printed letters slide off the pages and fall to the floor, rendering the pages blank. The letters demanifest approximately 5 minutes after the book is closed, or immediately if the book is picked up by a subject who meets the book's criteria. **Date of Recovery:** 2023-08-18 **Location of Recovery:** Used book store in Cincinnati, OH **Current Status:** Available at Site-46 for reading by all personnel. **Item Description:** An adult female //Vampyroteuthis infernalis//[[footnote]] Vampire squid [[/footnote]] with an antimemetic reflection. **Date of Recovery:** 2023-09-14 **Location of Recovery:** Research vessel █0 km ██ of Papua New Guinea **Current Status:** Held at Site-72 for intake testing and transfer to long-term containment. **Item Description:** An indestructible transparent case containing what appears to be a 5x5x5 cm cube of soil. An attached plaque reads "FIRST SAMPLE OF TERRA, AS RECOVERED BY NAMU HULNARIUS OF THE LETO X MISSION - ALL OF SELENE THANKS YOU FOR YOUR SACRIFICE". **Date of Recovery:** 2022-11-16 **Location of Recovery:** Kennedy Space Center, Merritt Island, Florida, USA **Current Status:** Held at Site-367. Testing to open the case is ongoing. **Item Description:** An apple, which, upon chemical analysis, possessed inverted molecular chirality. **Date of Recovery:** 9/14/23 **Location of Recovery:** Delivered to the front door of Secure Containment Facility 4 in a cardboard box by an unknown individual. **Current Status:** Incinerated. **Item Description:** A brown glass bottle that will reassemble itself 30 seconds after it is broken. The process of reassembly occurs on an elementary particle level. **Date of Recovery:** 9/15/23 **Location of Recovery:** Found on the side of ███████ Road in Blantyre, Malawi **Current Status:** Contained in MAST Storage at Site-334. **Item Description:** A Nerf Rival Atlas XVI-1200 which, when equipped, causes the holder to perceive the toy as though it were a real firearm. After 24 hours of no physical contact with the item, subjects will no longer perceive it as a firearm. **Date of Recovery:** 1/02/22 **Location of Recovery:** Purchased by a Foundation janitor, and promptly surrendered to containment. **Current Status:** Contained in Site-43 Low-Value anomalous storage. //Notes: "This is even worse than that one Hi-Point..." - ████ ██████// **Item Description:** A leather glove, which automatically transmutes all polyethylene it touches into polycarbonate, and all polycarbonates into polyethylene. The duration of this change is roughly 1 second per cubic centimeter. Objects altered by the glove cannot be altered again. It appears that when worn, the wearer of the glove may be able to exert some influence over the process. **Date of Recovery:** 9/19/23 **Location of Recovery:** LoI-2999 ("Abandoned Chaos Insurgency R&D Facility") **Current Status:** Contained in Site-300 in a steel lockbox in Room-004. +++ Anomalous Items 1291 - 1300 **Item Description:** Pieces of a broken clockwork machine that seemingly dissipate all energy around them. Evidence suggests it is a failed attempt at constructing a perpetual motion machine. **Date of Recovery:** 9/19/23 **Location of Recovery:** LoI-2999 **Current Status:** Components scanned and catalogued. Due to the inability of the object to be moved, and the danger of the item, the destruction of item through matter-antimatter interaction has been proposed. Currently, the location LoI-2999 is guarded to prevent civilian discovery. **Item Description:** One extremely large rotting apple of the Fuji cultivar, cut apart and reshaped into an anomalously durable IBM Personal Computer. This computer is functional and contains no applications other than the first-person shooter //Doom// (1993), which can be played without issue. **Date of Recovery:** 2004-03-17 **Location of Recovery:** Occult site believed to hold connections to Steve Wozniak located under San Jose, California, USA **Current Status:** Held in cold storage at Site-99 **Item Description:** 942 square centimeters of tiles from a "doom painting" from the ████ █████ ██ █████████ Cathedral depicting scenes from the Book of Revelation with heavy focus on the judgement of souls. Pigments contained within these tiles continuously shift hue and shade to create the impression that all humans in the image are moving in various ways, such as kneeling, bowing, wailing, running, or hiding. Notably, a large group of these humans in white or black robes move so as to anachronistically recreate the //Bad Apple!!// (1998) music video in its entirety. **Date of Recovery:** 1960-08-24 **Location of Recovery:** ████ █████ ██ █████████ Cathedral, ████████, Aragon, Spain **Current Status:** Held at Site-146 with permission from GoI-033, the Roman Catholic Church. **Item Description:** A hinged cabinet door with a mirror on its front. When obscured by steam and subsequently wiped, all current viewers will see a leering face with grossly exaggerated proportions smiling at them until they break eye contact. This face does not otherwise respond to stimuli. **Date of Recovery:** 1986-10-31 **Location of Recovery:** Private residence in Sheridan, Wyoming, USA **Current Status:** Held in a Size-IV object storage locker at Site-35. **Item Description:** 894 ml of mint-scented hand sanitizer. Upon exposure of AO-1295 to human skin, the affected individual will become significantly more likely to somehow become covered in dirt or mud, such as by tripping, intense outdoor play, searching for worms or other burrowing creatures, usage of dirt or mud in sexual experimentation, or wandering into a swamp or active construction zone[[footnote]] //Yes, these all occurred during testing. I now find myself unable to comfortably spend my breaks outside the site after the fourth sinkhole incident.// -Pedologist H. Leung [[/footnote]]. **Date of Recovery:** 2023-02-06 **Location of Recovery:** Public park in Kirovo-Chepetsk, Kirov Oblast, Russia **Current Status:** Held in a Size-II object storage locker at Site-218. **Item Description:** Family-sized container of "Quacker" Instant Oatmeal. Mascot is a brown and green cartoon duck. Information on the package indicates that the parent company is, appropriately, Quacker Oats, which does not exist. Beyond the impossibility of its existence, the item does not appear to be anomalous. Oats can be prepared and consumed without incident. **Date of Recovery:** 2023-09-01 **Location of Recovery:** Abandoned on a counter at a grocery store, Fort Wayne, IN **Current Status:** In low-value item storage. **Note** //Anomalous items are not to be used for breakfast, even if found to be non-anomalous. Please use the Site cafeteria.// - Site Director Robinson **Item Description:** One personal fishing boat four meters in length. This boat cannot be willfully anthropomorphized as any gender other than male. **Date of Recovery:** 2020-08-12 **Location of Recovery:** Private residence in Cleveland, Ohio, USA **Current Status:** Held in parking unit CGU095-A04-33663 at Site-95. **Item Description:** One green toy hard hat. The current wearer of the item is unable to perceive all ceiling tiles currently comprising a ceiling, and views all ceiling tiles in other locations as translucent and indistinct. **Date of Recovery:** 2015-11-28 **Location of Recovery:** ███████ ███████████ Offices, an office building in Muharraq, Bahrain **Current Status:** Held in a Size-III object storage locker at Site-109. **Item Description:** One container of █████-██-█████ brand bug repellent. All members of the family //Culicidae//[[footnote]] Mosquitoes [[/footnote]] in an exactly 1 km radius of AO-1299 ignore all humans in the radius and attempt to congregate at a point 38 meters ESE of the bottle until their death by dehydration or predation. As this secondary location is well within the radius of AO-1299's effects, the amount of effected organisms dramatically and incessantly rises when used in their natural habitat. **Date of Recovery:** 2013-07-19 **Location of Recovery:** Pirin National Park, Bulgaria, following reports of "a deafening black cloud" hovering above a trail. **Current Status:** Held in a Size-II object storage locker at Site-78. Initial associated organisms terminated via sustained immolation. No salvageable biomatter remained for study. **Item Description:** A Dr. Wondertainment brand " Speedier Cube™ " that speeds up time for the person currently solving the cube by a factor of 2. **Date of Recovery:** 2019-04-28 **Location of Recovery:** Yokohama Sanbo Hall, Japan, following reports of a person breaking the world record for the 3x3 Rubik's cube 8 times in a row. **Current Status:** Held in high-value item storage. **Note** The item was previously held in low-value item storage. It has since been moved to high-value item storage after several junior researchers have been caught attempting to use it for various self-serving ends. +++ Anomalous Items 1301 - 1310 **Item Description:** A plastic //Mellivora capensis//, that if shaken, gives a speech about the user's present mental state, current relationships, and gives validation. After that speech, it will give a brief note about how to improve the mental state of a user. The speech lasts no more than 30 minutes, and the note lasts for any time range between 5 minutes and [REDACTED]. **Date Of Recovery:** 2023-09-25 **Current Status:** Used as a tool for Foundation therapists. Currently in the possession of Dr. Anderson. Partially melted after accidental exposure to fire. **Note** The item was kept in low-value storage, as users only reported a 'long-winded speech'. After usage by Dr. █████, the items therapeutic values were discovered and was taken to the on-site therapist. **Item Description:** Four plastic, near perfectly symmetrical femur bones of cartoonish proportions. Items are only anomalous in their location of origin. **Date of Recovery:** 2008-04-17 **Location of Recovery:** Two stillborn //Panthera Leo//[[footnote]] Lions [[/footnote]] at the Berlin Zoo, Berlin, Germany **Current Status:** Held in a Size-IV object storage locker at Site-25. **Item Description:** One statue of a servant bowing and holding a plate bearing several food items such as sandwiches, a bottle of wine, and a large ham. The statue and held items are comprised entirely of various molds and fungi, and any items generally considered safe for human consumption placed on the plate section are converted to a similar composition. **Date of Recovery:** 1973-07-21 **Location of Recovery:** Museum basement in Pingyao, Shanxi province, China **Current Status:** Held in a Size-VI object storage locker at Site-182 for long-term mycological studies. **Item Description:** One empty Gatorade bottle. All inserted water is converted to Lime Cucumber Gatorade via a(n) RE1[[footnote]] Regular Equivalent 1st Order [[/footnote]] transmutation ritual at a rate of 71 mL/s. **Date of Recovery:** 2022-02-24 **Location of Recovery:** Private residence in León, León Department, Nicaragua **Current Status:** Held in a Size-II object storage locker at Site-120 for research into minor transmutation. **Item Description:** One paper character sheet for the fifth edition of Dungeons and Dragons sloppily describing a human bard. Any human who makes direct contact with this sheet instantly gains awareness of the definition and most common usages of the term "skald"[[footnote]] An archaic term for Scandinavian poets of old who would recite heroic legends [[/footnote]], and become aware of their sudden knowledge gain. **Date of Recovery:** 2021-02-02 **Location of Recovery:** Private residence in Tramore, Waterford County, Ireland **Current Status:** Held in a temperature-controlled Size-III object storage locker at Site-35. **Item Description:** One molar belonging to an adult instance of //Canis lupus dingo//, with an estimated age of 30,000 years. When the item is exposed to blood from any mammal, all food consumed by that mammal since the most recent local sunrise as well as energy derived from such is annihilated in violation of the conservation of energy. **Date of Recovery:** 1965-08-23 **Location of Recovery:** School in Kiunga, West Province, Papua New Guinea **Current Status:** Held in a Size-I object storage locker with proper biohazard warnings at Site-206. **Item Description:** One unrotting cream-filled donut. When contacted by any individual willingly working as law enforcement, even through cloth or paper, the individual is teleported to a semi-random location in the Greater Dantean Hellscape, typically ring units 01/07/01-01/09/03, 03/01/01-03/04/09, 08/01/01-08/02/01, 08/05/01-08/05/07, or the entirety of D5 "Wrath" and D7 "Violence". However, due to [5/2718 CLEARANCE REQUIRED], all affected individuals are promptly returned to the world of the living. **Date of Recovery:** 2020-12-13 **Location of Recovery:** ███████, a restaurant in Chicago, Illinois, USA **Current Status:** Held in a Size-II object storage locker at [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/undervegas-hub Site-666] for transgehennic research. **Item Description:** One spy satellite briefly operated by the [REDACTED] government in the year ████ CE. All footage taken by the satellite depicts a yet unrecognized timeline of generally little note beyond the increased size of humans (typically a 30-90% gain), the diminished presence of the SCP Foundation and Global Occult Coalition, and the occasional presence and reverence of [5/5079 CLEARANCE REQUIRED]. **Date of Recovery:** ████-██-██ **Location of Recovery:** 30°██'██"S 142°██'██"E, South Pacific Ocean **Current Status:** Held in a Size-VII object storage locker at Site-242 for extrachronal analysis. **Item Description:** A small ceramic teapot measuring approximately 10 centimeters in height, with intricate floral patterns painted in faded blue. When the teapot is filled with water and brought to a boil, the steam it produces causes anyone who inhales it to experience vivid and immersive hallucinations of being inside the apartment room contained within [[[SCP-002]]], despite having no prior knowledge of the object. These hallucinations are highly detailed and can last for several minutes to several hours, depending on the duration of boiling. **Date of Recovery:** 06/15/20██ **Location of Recovery:** An Antique shop in [REDACTED], Portugal, near the area where SCP-002 originally made impact. **Current Status:** Contained in a secure locker at Site-170. **Item Description:** Small brass skeleton key, similar to those manufactured during the late 19th century. Despite the fact that it should not be able to fit, the key unlocks most modern locks with no issue, provided that the key holder has no desire to access whatever is blocked by the lock. This functions on padlocks and standard door locks, but not on combination or electronic locks. **Date of Recovery:** 2023-09-21 **Location of Recovery:** Found in a bowl of keys at a thrift store in Houston, TX **Current Status:** In storage. **Note:** Research into a possible relation with [[[SCP-005]]] is ongoing. +++ Anomalous Items 1311 - 1320 **Item Description:** --1101-- 1031 pieces of ██████ brand candy corn. Upon consumption of any of these pieces, the consumer will experience for full body paralysis for 241 seconds before regaining body function and saying "She's coming." Following this, the subject will display no further anomalous traits, and lacks any memory of the event. **Date of Recovery:** 2023-10-04 **Location of Recovery:** Various retail stores in Huntington, New York, USA **Current Status:** Held in a temperature-controlled storage unit at Site-1225. **Item Description:** One bag of frozen peas, long expired. Any human who makes direct contact with this item for >30 seconds will develop a fever of exactly 38.5°C (101.3°F). This effect ceases upon touching any item typically warmed to cook food (e.g. a stove, pot, kettle, microwave). **Date of Recovery:** 2007-07-20 **Location of Recovery:** Store in Hammerfest, Norway **Current Status:** Held at Site-206 for long-term medical research. **Item Description:** --596-- 435 bottles of 15 proof India pale ale, as produced by the ████████ ███████ Brewery. Upon total consumption of a bottle's contents, the consumer gains a total awareness of the proper usage and implementation of the International Phonetic Alphabet until they regain sobriety. **Date of Recovery:** 2005-12-01 **Location of Recovery:** ███ ██████ █████████ Pub in Yeovil, Somerset, England **Current Status:** Held at Site-227's Gustolinguistics Research Center to determine the effects of long-term use. **Item Description:** One business card which can be flipped in any direction to display a specific face from a two-dimensional grid of possible faces, with these names slowly becoming more and more nonsensical the further they move towards Designated North. The original face, if one exists, is unknown and likely unknowable. **Date of Recovery:** 1972-05-20 **Location of Recovery:** Newspaper stand in Nantes, Loire-Atlantique, France **Current Status:** Held in a Size-I object storage locker at Site-73 on Face +011,359/-002,707 "Denrendenrenden Schuwindle, First-and-one-half-class Loitering Salesman, Tomfoolery Enthusiast, and Rebellion Inducer, Unwanted"[[footnote]] This statement was automatically translated from [LATE 20TH-CENTURY BASELINE FRENCH] with [92%] suspected accuracy by dolittle.aic. Please report all mistakes I make to the relevant personnel! [[/footnote]]. **Item Description:** One mummified adult male //Anas platyrhynchos//[[footnote]] Wild duck [[/footnote]]. Water and any material containing water is unable to pass within exactly one meter of the item. Teleportation of water to this region consistently fails. **Date of Recovery:** 1977-07-04 **Location of Recovery:** Nestlé Headquarters in Vevey, Vaud, Switzerland **Current Status:** Held in an appropriately isolated avian biomaterial storage unit at Site-25. **Item Description:** One dented plastic McDonald's Happy Meal toy depicting a cartoonish O5-03 bearing mild differences such as [05/A1 CLEARANCE REQUIRED] but remaining physically recognizable. By pressing a large button on the toy's cooling tower, a disc tray can be ejected from and returned to a slot beside the central monitor. No anomalous traits exist beyond the impossibility of the extensive process necessary for its creation. **Date of Recovery:** 2014-01-22 **Location of Recovery:** Private residence in Brasília, Brazil **Current Status:** Transferred to Site-1. **Item Description:** Frame that once contained a mirror, which has long since been broken. A few shards of mirrored glass at the edges reveal its original purpose. Anyone viewing the item suffers a mild cognitohazardous effect, causing them to believe that 1) the object is a mirror, and 2) their lack of reflection means they are a vampire. This causes the affected to do such things as avoid sunlight, wait for an invitation before entering a dwelling, etc. The effect is purely mental, and can be counteracted by touching anything perceived to be holy. **Date of Recovery:** 2023-10-01 **Location of Recovery:** An estate sale in Atlanta, GA, which featured a great deal of memorabilia from the movie Dracula and other vampire movies. **Current Status:** In storage. **Item Description:** An empty antique ink well with the quill from a golden eagle. Once filled with ink and written, the writer will write in a combination of Latin, Greek, and Arabic, even if the writer does not know the language. If someone who can read all three languages were to read it, they would read a seemingly random scholarly writing from the Renaissance era with all mentions of the original author being replaced with the writer's name. These articles are often from unknown authors from Egypt, Rome, and Greece. The last article recorded was of a thaumaturgical ritual on how to use a soul to write memories. **Date of Recovery:** 2003-08-05 **Location of Recovery:** A forest in Baiersbronn, Germany, surrounded by various pieces of parchment from different parts of the world, such as Egypt, Rome, and Greece. **Current Status:** In storage at Site-54. [[# bottle-of-styx]] **Item Description:** A bottle labelled "Water from Styx". The bottle contains water with contamination comparable to local river water. When drunk, inner organs touched by the liquid become impervious to damage. The liquid has otherwise no noteworthy properties. **Date of Recovery:** 2013-08-02 **Location of Recovery:** Pheneus, Greece **Current Status:** Brought to Site-77 for long term storage. **Item Description:** A 22cm combat knife. The object becomes anomalously dull and unable to cut when in contact with any object, unless the word "anything" is printed in English or Swedish on the object in question. **Date of Recovery:** 1972-10-12 **Location of Recovery:** Malmö, Sweden **Current Status:** Held in low-risk object storage at Site-120. +++ Anomalous Items 1321 - 1330 **Item Description:** A large size T-Shirt depicting the rock band "Cobra Starship" on the front, along with the phrase "Good Girls Gone Bad". Female-Identifying individuals who wore the shirt gained Black-Dyed hair and black eyeliner, as well as a reported change in attitude similar to that of one who follows the "Emo" subculture. Effects are reversed when shirt is taken off. **Date of Recovery:** 2012-04-09 **Location of Recovery:** "Matty T's Thrift Store!" In ████, Illinois **Current Status:** Held in a Size II object locker at Site-25 **Item Description:** A freshly caught fish, perpetually on fire. While undergoing combustion, the anomaly shows no sign of decay. Additionally it has a mind-altering effect which influences nearby individuals to react negatively to compliments, particularly regarding their appearance. **Date of Recovery:** 2023-09-02 **Location of Recovery:** Reported to have spontaneously manifested in a server room in ██████ ███, where it was recovered. **Current Status:** On 2024-██-██, the fire unexpectedly dissipated. Following this the fish began to slowly decay and no longer exhibited mental effects. After the object was confirmed to be Neutralized, it was incinerated. **Item Description:** A 73 kilogram pumpkin that contains living human organs inside of it, including a heart, lungs, stomach, and brain, as well as teratomas composed of bone, muscle, and hair. Genetic analysis has determined that the genetics match those of missing person "David S. ████████" who went missing from his home in Oakland in 2016. **Date of Recovery:** 10/31/2023 **Location of Recovery:** [REDACTED] **Current Status:** Contained. **Item Description:** Small metal and plastic key chain depicting a human brain with the legend "knowledge is power." Anyone who carries the item on their person for longer than 5 minutes gains the belief that they are highly knowledgeable about any subject being discussed. The item does not grant knowledge or intelligence, only the belief that the subject possesses them. Removing the item ends the effect. **Date of Recovery:** 2023-10-27 **Location of Recovery:** A thrift store in Cincinnati, OH **Current Status:** In storage. **Note:** Investigation has revealed the original owner had ties to Group of Interest Are We Cool Yet? **Item Description:** A photograph of the night sky. Subjects who look at the stars will report feeling melancholic. This effect subsides once visual contact is broken. **Date of Recovery:** 12/21/1998 **Location of Recovery:** The ███████ residence in London, England. **Current Status:** Currently in storage. **Item Description:** A rubber ball, 30cm in diameter. Anyone who holds it will immediately report a sharp pain in their hand despite the lack of any sharp points. **Date of Recovery:** 7/6/2008. **Location of Recovery:** The ███████ high school in Trenton, New Jersey. **Current Status:** In containment. **Item Description:** A ████-brand bicycle with no wheels that functions as though it still has them. Attempting to put wheels on the bike will invariably result in them falling off. **Date of Recovery:** 10/15/1990. **Location of Recovery:** The ███████ residence in Springfield, Illinois. **Current Status:** In storage. **Item Description:** A 13yo British male, 161cm tall, whose center of gravity is located in its head, despite it being no larger than an average human head. **Date of Recovery:** ██-██-2019 **Location of Recovery:** ███████ middle school in Essex, England. **Current Status:** Kept in a standard humanoid cell. Currently undergoing physiological therapy to try and help with its condition. **Item Description:** A birthday cake that, when bitten into, is recorded to have the same density as concrete. Attempting to cut into it with eating utensils has the same affect. Power tools are effective at cutting into it, but it has been discovered that one can stick their finger into as easily as one could into a normal cake. It tastes and breaks down like a normal cake in the digestive system. **Date of Recovery:** 2/29/2000 **Location of Recovery:** On a table in an abandoned building in New York, New York. **Current Status:** After some small tests, the item was disposed of. **Item Description:** A Raggedy Ann doll with several robotic spiders legs protruding through it. Item is capable of locomotion, and shows behavioral patterns consistent with that of a common house cat. **Date of Recovery:** 12/27/2009 **Location of Recovery:** ██████, Illinois. **Current Status:** Kept in a low level containment locker. +++ Anomalous Items 1331 - 1340 **Item Description:** A Taurus TH9 pistol. When aimed at an individual under 14 years of age, the pistol is incapable of firing. **Date of Recovery:** 2/27/2005. **Location of Recovery:** Sao Paulo, Brazil. **Current Status:** In a containment locker at Site 555. **Item Description:** A fossilized tooth, roughly 3 meters in length, belonging to an unidentified creature. Carbon dating shows that the item is Pre-Cambrian. **Date of Recovery:** June 24th, 1978. **Location of Recovery** A history museum in Wichita, Kansas. **Current Status:** In storage. **Item Description:** A Renaissance era statue made from marble --depicting a non-euclidean structure-- structure is euclidean in nature, but anyone who sees it will insist that it is non-euclidean. Viewing item indirectly, such as through cameras or videos, will counteract this effect. **Date of Recovery:** April 5th, 2020. **Location of Recovery:** A history museum in █████, Spain. **Current Status:** In Dr. ███████'s office. **Item Description:** An //Equus ferus caballus//[[footnote]]Horse[[/footnote]] that shares identical genetic makeup to Agent █████████. Subject shows no signs of sapience. **Date of Recovery:** 7/6/2021 **Location of Recovery:** An abandoned farm in Boise, Idaho. **Current Status:** Kept in a containment cell designed after a stable. Currently under the care of Dr. ███████. **Item Description:** A 2-litre bottle of Pepsi which refills itself when not in a line of sight. While the liquid inside is chemically identical to normal Pepsi, subjects who drink will report it tasting like a random consumable liquid. **Date of Recovery:** 1/21/2020. **Location of Recovery:** █████████ college in Aberdeen, Washington. **Current Status:** In a low level containment locker. **Item Description:** A █████-brand guitar amp. Whenever any form of pornographic material is brought near it, it will begin to emit a loud shrieking noise reminiscent of a female adolescent in pain, regardless of whether or not it's plugged into a sufficient power source. **Date of Recovery:** 7/26/2007 **Location of Recovery:** Saint Petersburg, Russia. **Current Status:** Kept in Dr. ████████'s office. **Item Description:** A wooden crucifix, heavily water-damaged. Anyone who holds onto it will invariably vomit a mix of sulfur, human blood, and [REDACTED]. **Date of Recovery:** 6/6/1966. **Location of Recovery:** Paris, France. **Current Status:** Incinerated. **Item Description:** 4 mummified human cadavers, estimated to be from the late 13th century. When all 4 are within 6 meters of each other, they will begin to emit the sound of faint weeping. **Date of Recovery:** 1/2/2020 **Location of Recovery:** Cairo, Egypt. **Current Status:** In Site-200's morgue. **Item Description:** A Japanese-Russian male, currently in his late 90's who is biologically immortal, but still ages at the same rate of a normal human. **Date of Recovery:** 11/29/2022. **Location of Recovery:** Moscow, Russia. **Current Status:** Kept in a humanoid containment cell. **Item Description:**A fully functional water fountain of unknown make or model that is constantly dripping water at intervals between 1 and 10 seconds between drips. Water still drips even if not connected to any water source. It is unknown where the water that goes into the drain goes. Testing has shown the water to be safe for human consumption. **Date of Recovery:** 1992-02-05. **Location of Recovery:**███████████ School in Neuss, Germany **Current Status:** Held in Site-40 cafeteria. +++ Anomalous Items 1341 - 1350 **Item Description:** A vinyl record that, when put on a turntable, plays a different album every time. So far, 43% of plays have been of Norwegian Black Metal, 29% have been of Industrial Hip Hop, 15% have been of Ambient Noise Wall, 8% have been of Hardcore Punk, and the rest have varied. **Date of Recovery:** 12/12/2021 **Location of Recovery:** ███████ Record Shop in Durham, North Carolina **Current Status:** Held in Dr. Ferraro's office. Usage by other site staff must be permitted by Dr. Ferraro himself. **Item Description:** AI chat bot that periodically responds to queries with information regarding the O5 Council. The Foundation was made aware of the bot after news organization Breitbart published an article about the O5 Council. Article was deleted, virtual amnestics were applied, and the editor responsible for the article was terminated. **Date of Discovery:** 02/19/2022 **Location of Discovery:** N/A **Current Status:** Taken offline following discovery. IT personnel are currently in the process of tracing the bot back to its creator. **Item Description:**An antique lamp that, when turned off, erases the nearest person to it from existence. **Date of Discovery:** 12/09/2019 **Location for Discovery:** Venice, Italy **Current Status:** Incinerated. **Item Description:** A hockey puck that, when used in a hockey game, causes the player currently handling it to attempt to get the puck to as great of a height as possible. This effect is contagious, and may spread to other players via physical contact. **Date of Recovery:** 10/14/1992 **Location of Recovery:** ██████ High School, Ohio, USA. **Current Status:** In low security containment locker at Site-99. **Item Description:** The lack of a sandwich on one of Site-43’s cafeteria tables. It is unknown why there have been no attempts at placing a sandwich onto the table, despite multiple personnel claiming they intend to do so. Possibly antimemetic. **Date of Recovery:** 12/05/2023 **Location of Discovery:** Site-43 **Current Status:** Desk has been moved to Site-43’s light containment. **Item Description:** A set of poker cards, which emit an anomalous effect such that any poker table that comes within 30 feet of the cards will begin to degrade or decay at an as-of-yet undetermined but markedly increased rate. This effect will occur until the point where the table is effectively no longer recognizable or usable as table, after which the effect will cease. **Date of Recovery:** 7/21/2013 **Location of Recovery:** Moscow, Russia **Current Status:** Resides in a standard containment locker at Site-12. **Item Description:** Two single serve ice cream bars, one vanilla-flavored and the other chocolate-flavored. The bars are wrapped in a light blue thin plastic wrap with no markings beyond the flavor of the bar and a nutritional label listing the calories per serving as 456,280. A third bar, labeled as strawberry-flavored, was mistaken for a misprinted product and consumed after retrieval by Agent █████. Agent █████ experienced severe trauma to their digestive system almost immediately after consumption, and remains in critical condition. **Date of Recovery:** October 5th, 2018 **Location of Recovery:** ███████ ████, Auberg, Austria. **Current Status:** Two unwrapped bars kept in frozen storage, wrapper of third bar considered lost. **Item Description:** A 2014 model Dell Latitude E7440 laptop. Item contains a program titled 'InfiniteMoney.exe' that holds the exact winning EuroMillion lottery numbers, as well as the location for where the ticket is held. Tickets are for the following Friday. **Date of Recovery:** November 7th, 2015. **Location of Recovery:** ███████, Paris, France. **Current Status:** Kept in a high storage locker in Site-314. **Item Description:** A standard plant pot that when observed, causes the observer to have a uncontrollable desire to fill it with water. All attempts to fill the pot have been unsuccessful. **Date of Recovery:** 7/11/93 **Location of Recovery:** San Francisco, California. **Current status:** Accidentally shattered during testing. Shattered pieces had no anomalous properties. Object deemed neutralized. **Item Description:** A sweater that depicts the logo of SCP-2206's Texas Renegades. Below the log is the wordmark "Winners of the 2023 World Series!" Aside from the security breach it represents, item has no anomalous properties. **Date of Recovery:** 11/7/23 **Location of Recovery:** Globe Life Field, Arlington, Texas. **Current Status:** Kept in a low storage locker at Site-99. +++ Anomalous Items 1351 - 1360 **Item Description:** A papier-mâché mask of a red-colored devil, which possesses the thirteenth-highest CCRCD[[footnote]]Conferred Consistent Random Chance Deviation[[/footnote]] and the eighteenth-highest CRCD overall (48-). The item is atypical in that it confers its effect not to its wearer, but to those around it, with its range only limited by the perception of the wearer. **Date of Recovery:** 12/13/13. **Location of Recovery:** Albuquerque, New Mexico. The past owner of the mask was found dead, after having been struck in the head by a falling mirror. **Current Status:** Contained within a high-security object vault at Site-666. **Item Description:** A keychain that resembles a standard birthday cake which duplicates when it is observed. On the bottom of the chain reads "871". **Date of Recovery:** 3/28/14. **Location of Recovery:** Outside Site-40's entrance. **Current Status:** On 4/1/14, all instances except the original de-manifested. The bottom of the original now reads "April Fools". **Item Description:** A portable blue push button with a large white "X" on its surface. When pressed, whoever pressed it has their name (first, last, etc.) modified to contain one more X. This results in both them and anyone who knew them believing that this has always been their name and documents of any kind being instantaneously transformed to reflect this change. Memories are not completely modified, however, so the subject will still remember using their previous name, though they will always deny it ever having been their name. **Date of Recovery:** 3/5/23. **Location of Recovery:** The █████ Walmart Supercenter. **Current Status:** In containment at the cognitohazard wing of Site-73. Permission must be granted from the Site-73 site director before testing. **Note:** //I've tested the object three times and it doesn't seem to work. -Jr. Researcher Xavier Foxx.// **Item Description:** A pair of plastic glasses with no markings or brands listed on the object, colored black. The lens are in the shape of a 5 pointed star, with the left lens flipped upside-down. Subjects wearing the glasses report no anomalous effects when both eyes are open. However, if the subject closes their right eye, the subject will have their sight flipped, viewing the world upside-down. If the subject closes their left eye, the subject will have their sight distorted, with the specific distortion varying (ranging from what subjects describe as "like a fun house mirror" to a fish lens effect). The effects will continue until the subject opens both of their eyes while they are still wearing the glasses. If the subject takes the glasses off, their vision will remain changed until they put back on the glasses with both eyes open. **Date of Recovery:** 8/5/14. **Location of Recovery:** Inside an abandoned residential house in Mt. Dora, FL. No occupants spotted or found. **Current Status:** In Storage. **Item Description:** Wall clock, consistent with early 1950s manufacture, minor signs of wear. No information regarding the manufacturer or the brand of the item is visible. Instead of the standard 12 hours, the item has 13, and seems to keep time according to a 65-minute hour. As far as can be determined, the item keeps accurate time as well as could be expected from a clock from the period; however, using it as a time piece is difficult due to the necessity of converting to standard time. **Date of Recovery:** 12/11/2023 **Location of Recovery:** Inside the lost and found bin of [REDACTED] Middle School, Chicago, IL. **Current Status:** On the wall of Dr. Callahan's office. **Item Description:** A children's wind-up cartoon robot toy. When the object's key is wound up, the object's legs will move, but not perform any locomotive motion. Instead, within a 5m radius, a random object will move in the cardinal direction the robot is facing. The speed of the affected object is dependent upon its mass. The object cannot affect any item that is larger than itself. Items are effected by gravity when in motion. **Date of Recovery:** 5/5/1955 **Location of Recovery:** The break-room of a toy store in London, UK. **Current Status:** In storage. **Item Description:** A standard magnetic name tag. Always displays the wearer's preferred name and pronouns. **Date of Recovery:** 07/07/23 **Location of Recovery:** Hiring & Regulation Orientation, Site-64. **Current Status:** Currently in use by H&R Conflict Resolution Specialist Crystal. **Item Description:** A .mp4 file of Episode 4 of Murder Drones. Once viewed, a copy of Uzi Doorman[[footnote]] The "protagonist" of Murder Drones[[/footnote]] will appear behind any unseen area and attempt to break the neck of the viewer. The copy can be easily neutralized. Any attempts to crop or delete the file result in the same thing, along with the file returning. **Date of Recovery:** 12/17/23 **Location of Recovery:** Unknown **Current Status:** Currently saved on Dr. Xenola's Macbook. **Item Description:** A //Mus musculus//[[footnote]] House mouse [[/footnote]]. Organism is genetically identical to //Ficus bengalensis//[[footnote]] Banyan tree [[/footnote]]. **Date of Recovery:** 8/24/87. **Location of Recovery:** Jacksonville, Florida. **Current Status:** Died of natural causes. **Item Description:** A hard drive containing a copy of //The Sims 4//. When loaded onto a device that is understood to be owned by a subject, all the default characters will resemble the friends and family of the subject. Otherwise, the game functions identically to its nonanomalous counterpart. **Date of Recovery:** 10/14/2023 **Location of Recovery:** Inside a residential building in Miami, FL **Current Status:** In storage. +++ Anomalous Items 1361 - 1370 **Item Description:** A shirt with the crossfit mascot "pukie the clown" on the front. Upon any person wearing it, they will tell everyone they can perceive that they do crossfit, and will try to access the nearest gym to perform exercises often performed in crossfit gyms.[[footnote]] A great number of exercise related injuries have occurred due to this shirt. [[/footnote]] **Date of Recovery:** 7/21/2017 **Location of Recovery:** Inside of a Gold's Gym in Santa Cruz, CA. **Current Status:** In storage. **Item Description:** A parking meter. If used by a male individual, their testicles and genitalia will spontaneously explode. If used by a female individual, the nearest male individual’s testicles and genitalia will spontaneously explode. **Date of Recovery:** 27/12/2023 **Location of Recovery:** Manhattan, New York, United States **Current Status:** In storage. **Item Description:** A wooden doorstop that can be unfolded into the concept of {{being alone.}}[[footnote]] If the desert screams, of course.[[/footnote]] ##green|I’m personally a big fan of Mountain Dew.## **Date of Recovery:** That one time[[footnote]] Only on Tuesdays. [[/footnote]] **Location of Recovery:** Site-⌘ **Current Status:** Used to keep Site-⌘‘s third closet from opening.[[footnote]] Trust me, you really don’t want to see what’s in there.[[/footnote]] **Item Description:** A standard metallic silver coin featuring two distinct unidentified symbols on opposing sides. When tossed in the presence of an individual, the coin induces a gradual and irreversible memory loss of the past 24 hours for the person observing the toss. The effect persists as the coin flips in the air and culminates upon its subsequent catch. Notably, the individual who initiates the toss remains unaffected by its cognitive effects. **Date of Recovery:** 26/11/2023 **Location of Recovery:** Discovered resting on the floor within the breakroom premises of Site-999. **Current Status:** In Storage. **Item Description:** The remains of a Caucasian teenage male, roughly 171cm tall, and 6 weeks into decomposition The bones show traces of fractures and irregular fusion. The subject's coccyx is replaced by a full-fledged skeletal structure of a tail, similar to that of a //Felis catus//. Item has not decayed any further since initial containment. Apart from this, it displays no anomalous properties. **Date of Recovery:** 11/20/2005 **Location of Recovery:** An abandoned cattle farm in Boise, Idaho. **Current Status:** Kept in a cryogenic locker at Site-███. **Item Description:** Site-32 junior researcher Jeffrey Mackey. Despite claiming to be fully heterosexual, individuals tasked with describing Dr. Mackey will invariably label him as a 'gay icon'. **Date of Recovery:** 12/02/2022 **Location of Recovery:** Site-32. **Current Status:** No action taken; Dr. Mackey continues to work at Site-32. //"He's fucking lying." - Dr. Mackey's husband// **Item Description:** A copy of Eldest by Christopher Paolini. Every time the book is opened, the reader fluently speaks in one of the fictional languages for 30 minutes, with no apparent knowledge of the language. **Date of Recovery:** 01/11/2024 **Location of Recovery:** A high school library in [REDACTED], Ireland. **Current Status:** In a storage locker at Site-17. //"How the hell does this even work? Hvat unin du nam abr Azura?" - Dr. Strix Direnni.// **Item Description:** A printed copy of the [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-131 SCP-131] file. Item flies around in circles when not kept in a container or held down by a weight, but is otherwise indistinguishable from normal paper. **Date of Recovery:** 02/06/2023 **Location of Recovery:** Site-█ **Current Status:** In storage. **Item Description:** A set of 7 golden cups placed in a circle. Each cup depicts a different animal. Researchers have identified the following animals: //Panthera leo//, //Python bivittatus//, //Sus scrofa//, //Equus africanus//, //Canis lupus//, //Capra hircus// and the Phoenix. All attempts at moving or lifting the cups and the ground in a 100-meter radius around them have proven unsuccessful. **Date of Recovery:** 07/07/2024 **Location of Recovery:** A small forest in- Shh... that's personal information, hehe. **Current Status:** Still there. As always. Don't worry. I'm sure it's not anything important... //"But what about the Eighth-" "We don't talk about the eighth."// **Item Description:** A white mask with no facial features, save 2 black circles as eyes. A large crack can be seen running along the vertical length of the mask. Placing the mask on one's face causes the mask to become affixed to the wearer's face until [REDACTED] has been fulfilled, or if the mask is removed forcefully by SCP-[REDACTED]. While wearing the mask, users will begin to emit intense amounts of steam and short bursts of electricity. After approximately 7 seconds, a category 5 hurricane will manifest in the area and the wearer will acquire the ability to call down lightning. **Date of Recovery:** 1/16/2024 **Location of Recovery:** Located on the deceased body of an unidentified man in the epicenter of a hurricane that passed over the northern side of Puerto Rico **Current Status** Considered lost when stolen during a raid by the Chaos Insurgency and [REDACTED] was completed. +++ Anomalous Items 1371 - 1380 **Item Description:** Standard wall clock, unknown make. Anyone viewing the object becomes compelled to continue doing so until line of sight is broken. Although subjects are incapable of voluntarily looking away, the effect is otherwise mild and can be easily broken if some outside force attracts the subject's attention, such as their name being called. **Date of Recovery:** 1/20/24 **Location of Recovery:** In the employee break room of a Burger King restaurant, El Paso, TX **Current Status:** In storage. **Note:** //This item came to the Foundation's attention after numerous reports of employees blankly staring at the clock. Records are unclear exactly when the clock was acquired, but it appears to have been at the location of recovery for at least four months before the anomalous property became apparent.// - Researcher Somerset **Item Description:** A standard A-4 sized blank paper that manifests the comprehensive biodata of an individual upon contact with the person's thumb. This effect is transient, ceasing when the individual's thumb is no longer in contact with the paper. The displayed data vanishes upon removal of contact and reappears solely upon subsequent physical interaction. **Date of Recovery:** 24/12/2023 **Location of Recovery:** The item originated from an experimentation conducted with [[[SCP-914]]] at Site-19. **Current Status:** In Storage. **Item Description:** A standard single subject spiral notebook that when written in, attempts to correct any spelling or grammar mistakes. These corrections are often nonsensical or wrong. Upon closing the notebook, all writing is erased. **Date of Recovery:** 1/3/2024 **Location of Recovery:** Livonia, Michigan. **Current Status:** In Storage. **Item Description:** Small ceramic container, similar in size to a standard cereal bowl, with a lid. Bowl and lid are painted black with yellow question marks. When the lid is removed, the bowl will contain objects of the time the person who touched it was thinking of most recently. Unique items, such as SCP-level objects, art pieces, or anomalous items, cannot be replicated. Only items capable of completely fitting in the bowl can be replicated. The items can be removed and used as expected, and appear to remain in existence indefinitely. When the lid is replaced, any items still in the bowl demanifest. **Date of Recovery:** 1/28/2024 **Location of Recovery:** Richmond, Virginia. **Current Status:** Being tested. **Item Description:** Small wind-up music box containing a figurine of a ballerina. When wound by a human subject, the box plays a song with a meaningful connection to the subject's childhood, typically one invoking positive memories. Subjects often prefer to hear the music to completion, but this is believed to be due to nostalgia rather than anything anomalous. **Date of Recovery:** 1/14/2024 **Location of Recovery:** An estate sale in Boston, Massachusetts. **Current Status:** Available at Site 26, for use by all personnel. **Item Description:** Wooden box of a size typically used for jewelry boxes. The lid is decorated with a painting of cherry trees in traditional Japanese style0. The underside of the box has the words "property of Wilma F. Greyson" written on it in black marker. All subjects display reluctance to open the box, saying that it's "not theirs" and that "Mrs. Greyson wouldn't want me to." This occurs even if the subject has not read the words written on the underside of the box. If pressed to open the box, subjects refuse to remove anything from it, insisting that doing so would be stealing. Box contains inexpensive jewelry. **Date of Recovery:** 2/1/2024 **Location of Recovery:** A storage unit in Key West, Florida. **Current Status:** In storage. Investigation into the Wilma F. Greyson in question is ongoing. **Note:** //The owner of the storage unit had bought the entire unit and its contents, sight unseen, at an auction. He claimed not to know anyone by that name, but maintained that he was "keeping the box until Mrs. Greyson comes back for it." When it was pointed out that he knew no such person, he was unable to explain the oddity.// - Researcher Somerset **Item Description:** Black cotton/polyester blend T-shirt printed with the Batman logo. When touched by a human subject, the shirt resizes itself for an ideal fit, neither overly tight nor overly loose. How this occurs is not known, and the change appears to be instantaneous. **Date of Recovery:** 2/3/2024 **Location of Recovery:** Abandoned on a park bench in Chicago, IL. **Current Status:** In storage. **Note:** //When they said "one size fits all," they weren't kidding.// - Agent O'Reilly **Item Description:** Blue plastic storage bin. "Socks" has been written on one side in black marker. When the item is unobserved, socks will appear in the bin at random intervals. These socks occasionally match other socks already in the bin, but only very rarely and seemingly by chance. Where they come from is not known. **Date of Recovery:** 2/4/2024 **Location of Recovery:** An abandoned apartment in Las Vegas, NV. **Current Status:** --In storage.-- Available at Site 17, for use by all personnel. **Note:** //After a missing sock belonging to an agent assigned to the Site was found in this item, it was placed in a more accessible location in case of similar incidents.// **Item Description:** The mummified cadaver of a humanoid entity that was found curled into the fetal position. A large pair of avian wings were attached to the entity's shoulders. Forensic analysis shows these wings to be natural growths. **Date of Recovery:** Jan 4th, 2020 **Location of Recovery:** A morgue in Las Vegas, Nevada. **Current Status:** Kept in Site-██'s cryogenic storage.