News for May 2017

Link to article: News for May 2017.

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[[=]]
**« [[[news-04-2017|April 2017]]] | __[[[news-05-2017|May 2017]]]__ | [[[news-06-2017|June 2017]]] »**
[[/=]]

[[div style="margin: 10px; padding: 10px; border: 5px solid black; text-align: center; background-color: Moccasin;"]]
++++ [[span style="font-variant: small-caps;"]]News Time Capsule[[/span]]
The dynamic nature of this wiki means that pages get moved, renamed, deleted, and replaced.
Wiki links on old news pages have been made non-functional as many no longer point to the same content. External links and forum links are unaffected.
[[/div]]


Welcome to this installment of site news, where we may have written up more than we can review!

This is a series showing off news from the site, articles from the past month[[footnote]] with a rating above 0 [[/footnote]], and fan-content for you to check out and discover! Be sure to leave a comment with your thoughts!

++++ Featured Articles

* The featured articles for this month are [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-2354[[/a]] ("Reasonable Accommodations") by Niblic, [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]His Name[[/a]] by CirclesAndSquares, and [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]'Rogue AI' (NVEO4/YVN3E/PN6UG)[[/a]] by Doctor Cimmerian. The first is about the trouble caused by the Americans with Disabilities Act, the second is about amnestics gone horribly right, and the third is about a team of artificial intelligences infiltrating Marshall, Carter, and Dark. Check them out!
* The featured articles for May were [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-1172[[/a]] ("Double Word Scare") by deValmont, [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Document Alpha-Zeta-2[[/a]] by Aeish, and our very first GOI-format featured article: [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]GRANT REQUEST FOR THE CONSTRUCTION OF AN INTERSTELLAR SCIENCE VESSEL[[/a]] by Greenwolf. The first is about a spooky game of Scrabble, the second's about...hm. What //was// it about? Anyways, the third is a Prometheus Labs-format about crafting black hole-powered spacecraft. Check them out!

++++ Event Featured Articles

The theme for the month of May was //paradox//!

* In [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-1505[[/a]] ("Paradoxical Avian Propagation"), by LurkD, Hitchcock is one-upped by a raven in a time loop...
* In [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-2508[[/a]] ("The Long Wait"), by Eekium, the [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Aleph Null[[/a]] series kicks off with something abducting Foundation personnel... 
* And in [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-711[[/a]] (Paradoxical Insurance Policy), by Photosynthetic, the Foundation postpones Armageddon by stubbornly refusing to text itself...  

++++ Rest of the News

* It's the tenth anniversary of the one that started it all - that's right, [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-173[[/a]] turns ten this year! To celebrate, Dexanote is hosting the [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]10 Years Birthday SCParty[[/a]]! Check it out!
* Kate McTiriss has returned from inactivity and has reclaimed her position on Operational Staff. Welcome back, Kate!

Missing out on articles? Enjoy a recap on the articles from the past month.  This month's blurbs were created by shaggydredlocks and Tretter. Great work, you two!


+++ Week of May 1st:

160 articles this month! Who is sleep?

++++ SCPs

* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3715[[/a]] ("Not So Subtlє Teα") - Some ghosts wanna spook ya, some wanna kill ya; this one just wants to share a lovely cup of tea! Served by Noktigo.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3099[[/a]] ("High Impact Sexual Violence") - Proving once again that vintage porn isn't the best educational tool. Directed by minmin.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3233[[/a]] ("Smells Like Tenrec Spirit") - She's one bad spine day away from sparking the tenrec sexual revolution. Written by Weryllium.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3215[[/a]] ("Delicious Anemone") - The thousands of stinging nematocysts is what gives it that extra kick! Served by Haydenhead.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3011[[/a]] ("Loose Lips Skink Ships") - //Bale out me skinks ye so hearty and free/le's bare down the storm or be lost to the sea//! Captained by Blaroth.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3294[[/a]] ("A Severe Case of Soulnesia") - "Forged by the dwarves of Norse mythology, Tyrfing was a sword enchanted to never miss, never age, and cut through anything with ease. But it was given a terrible curse; whenever unsheathed, it would always, //always//, kill someone." Unsheathed by Jack Ike
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3429[[/a]] ("Just The Way It Is Now") - "In a postmodern world, is change still possible? Or are we doomed to repeat the actions of ourselves and others?" Written by Jack Ike
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3492[[/a]] ("A Totleigh unBÄRable existence") - "is YOU bored at gaming 3imensions? Get NEWER Totleighsoft™ PSYSICS! NEW design with reality, TotleighSoft PSYSICS™ let you GREATER game! Try MORE dimemensions for MUCHER experience. Confines are NONE but MIND! TotleighSoft BECAUSE COMPUTERS!" Coded by Jack Ike.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Cimmerian-Kaktus Proposal[[/a]] ("The Broke God") Hey, man. I know I just hit you for some scratch last week, but like, you gotta hear me out on this. - by Doctor Cimmerian and djkaktus
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3463[[/a]] ("Flawless Objective Perception") - Of course it's an antique cigar box, what did Jones say it was? A tennis ball? I already knew it was a tennis ball, you didn't have to //tell// me that. Conceived by SpookyPizza.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3555[[/a]] ("Attempted Suicide") - "//Photographs corrected for this distortion show SCP-3555, apparently normal and alert, with an expression personnel have characterized as "relieved."//" Written by atomicthumbs.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3609[[/a]] ("Hati Hróðvitnisson") - Damn moon wizards ruining our eschatology. Written by MrWrong
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3232[[/a]] ("Bug Pillow") - A pillow full of bugs? Or is it a bug-pillow? A pillow //for// bugs? Infested by MrMcKonz.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3500[[/a]] ("Instructions Unclear, Got Dick Stuck In Roget") - Authorial wankery collapsing the narrative fabric of reality? That's what you get for writing so damn much! The Pataphysics Department has their work cut out for them. Coauthored by DrBleep and Rimple.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3115[[/a]] ("99.7 Cognitohazard FM") - We now return you to our regularly scheduled [REDACTED]. Broadcast by ResearcherKatash.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3033[[/a]] ("A Human Weapon") - We can rebuild him. We can make him faster, stronger...do away with all that 'free will' nonsense. Lazar Lyusternik may be pulling the strings.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3012[[/a]] ("Smoke the Reefer, Meet the Reaper") - "♪ //All our times have come.// ♪" kinchtheknifeblade goes full spooky scary.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3941[[/a]] ("The Major Occultation") - The Twelfth Imam has revealed himself to the world...I think? Written by Tufto
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-2514[[/a]] ("Wondertainment's Make-The-Tears-Go-Away Pony") - A gift that never arrived, for a life that couldn't thrive. Written by mlister.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3008[[/a]] ("A Perfectly Normal, Regular Old IKEA") - The only place where 'The store will be closing in five minutes.' could be considered a threat. Written by Mortos.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-Jaguar-J[[/a]] ("Junior Researcher Hutchins' Incredible Automobile") - ...and my //other// car is a Porsche! Written by Roget.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3125[[/a]] ("The Escapee") - Come see the aftermath of the '[[a class="newpage" href="#"]]There Is No Antimemetics Division[[/a]]' series of Tales by qntm. This marks the beginning of the 'Five Five Five Five Five' series.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3113[[/a]] ("In My Way") - An unstoppable force meets an immovab-- No, fuck that noise. **Move**.  Pushed aside by Communism will win.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-2754[[/a]] ("How To Put 110% Into Everything") - Step one: Buy my book! Written by Deathray.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3050[[/a]] ("Ogden") - You're going to have to stay after class. Permanently. Written by KentAnderson.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3400[[/a]] ("Rorqual Infection") - I've had something strange swimming through my mind as of late... Written by Sterbai .
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3104[[/a]] ("Cops Magnet") - All the kings horses and all the king's men...chased a brick of cocaine through Florida? Written by atomicthumbs.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3310[[/a]] ("The Old Man of the Lake") - Merely a finger in a god-sized dam. Written by stormbreath.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3141[[/a]] ("Anomalous Theorem") - X=Death. Solved by ViaNegativa.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3600[[/a]] ("Documenting Doomsday") - I know how this all ends - over 847 ways, in fact. Believe me when I say this is the easy way out. Prophesied by Mortos.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3052[[/a]] ("Disturbed") - What you did cannot be forgiven, and I'll never let you forget that. Tormented by Witryso.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-2672[[/a]] ("Baby Monitor") - And if it was your own child? Would you care then? Designed by gishface.

++++ Tales

* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Dreams of the Dead Sea[[/a]] - I've had dreams of the Dead Sea, of waking up, adrift, on a raft of rot and filth. I pray it is not prophecy. Authored by Smapti.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Bazyliszek[[/a]] - "The Uprising is not going well, and there is something lurking under what the Home Army calls Basilisk Street. The Occult War has brought something back from the past in a city that is crumbling." Written by Ihp.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Dai-tō-a[[/a]] - How else do you communicate with your family in another dimension? Spit up by MrWrong.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Midnight Plane Going Anywhere[[/a]] - "The only UIU Agents in the Midwest are bound westward, towards Iowa, where they hope to finally find answers as to what the hell is going on." A continuation of the [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]The UIU Series With No Name[[/a]] series. Which has no name, apparently. Written by Ihp.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Holy Mackerel[[/a]] - "//Fucking hell if I know, truly.//" Written by LordStonefish.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Every SCP: A Mission: Series Introduction[[/a]] - An ongoing series following our heroes Eli and Dictator, and featuring every SCP! Continues in Parts [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]1[[/a]], [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]2[[/a]], [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]3[[/a]], [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]4[[/a]], and [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]5[[/a]]. Series authored by luckgandor.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Nobody Wants To See You Succeed[[/a]] - Nobody has faith in you. Written by GibberingEloquence.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Lockdown Procedures[[/a]] - Ever wondered how the Foundation deals with a containment breach? Blibby_Blobfish has you covered!


++++ GOI Formats

* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SPC-682[[/a]] - If only we could get //our// 682 to beat the snot out of itself... Pummeled by sirpudding
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SPC-1258[[/a]] - Dolphinately the best course of action. Whale get along just fine. Tactically fisticuff'd by kenneth1221.

++++ Hubs

* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]IJAMEA Hub[[/a]] - The Imperial Japanese Anomalous Matters Examination Agency now has its own GOI hub! Check it out! Coauthored by Dr Solo and MrWrong.

++++ Author's Pages

* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Personnel File: GeometryPrime[[/a]] - GeometryPrime's author page!
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Weryllium's Author Page[[/a]] - Weryllium's author page!
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]atomicthumbs' author page[[/a]] - atomicthumbs's author page!

+++ Week of May 8th:

♪ Awrrrooooooooo! Werewolves in WiFi ♪

++++ SCPs

* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3025[[/a]] ("Lucidity") - It's light as a feather - and will leave you stiffer than a board. Written by Bentu.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-2967[[/a]] ("Sapient Cephalopods") - Y'know what? Sure. You're cute enough to take over the Earth. It's been a blast! Written by RecursiveRecursion.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3032[[/a]] ("Ballistic Trees") - If a tree is armed in the forest, does it possess a launch code? TheAlabaster prepares us for the tamarack attack.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3040[[/a]] ("Give Her A Hand") - No, really. She seems to have misplaced her own. Written by Ehksidian.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3009[[/a]] ("Wise-Cracking Alien") - Straddling the fine line between 'harsh critique' and 'being a dick'. Eh, it's probably for your own good. by deku_link.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3960[[/a]] ("Best Friends Forever") - "♪ For the things you do, endear you to me ♪" by Jacob Conwell
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-660[[/a]] ("Earthen Womb") - Approximate gestation time: 6,600 years. Originally by MelWong and rewritten by Communism will win.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3015[[/a]] ("A Story Concerning Self-Doubt, Slight Disillusionment, and Frustration, As Told By the Lucky Member of a Group Whose Relatable Works Are Loved Internationally") - <-- What she said. Merrily made by Decibelles
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3281[[/a]] ("[REDACTED BY AARS538]") - I'm afraid you can't know that, Dave. Written by Monkeysky
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3024[[/a]] ("The Doxx Ghost") - "//Holy Heck! You've just found yourself your very own Mr. Deadly Sins by Gamers Against Weed!//" Written by Communism will win.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-2879[[/a]] ("Spot the Discrepancy") - "//When boredom is your enemy, pick up and play Spot the Discrepancy!//" Written by FrankWest2.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-2674[[/a]] ("An Ancient, Submerged Burial Ground") - Man, those Sarkic cultists are really scraping the bottom of the barrel. Written by Shio.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3900[[/a]] ("The Internet of Things That Are Wolves") - Because you see the internet is a series of tubes, which makes it perfect for transmitting lycanthropy. Bitten by TyGently, who then bites a...
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-2593[[/a]] ("Donut Jimmy") - Let's see: frosted, original, Bavarian creme, arsenic, cyanide, and jelly. Wait a minute, back up! There's no sprinkles on these! Half-baked by DrMagnus.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3061[[/a]] ("Fear Contacts") - Don't blink. They use that time to creep closer. Written by TheToxic8.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-2576[[/a]] ("Cryonic Tea Party [CLEANUP NEEDED]") - The SCPF and the GOC are in the middle of a war over an anomaly. An EDIT WAR! That doesn't sound Boeing at all! ##red|--@@Written by@@--## --Authored by-- ##red|--Created by--## Screw it. Jekeled did it.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3800[[/a]] ("Many Grandparents Ago") - "//Following initial manifestation, instances will walk to shore and begin establishing a colony.//" Written by hi im stel.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3101[[/a]] ("Kinky Infohazard") - For once, something that actually //wants// to be contained...maybe a little too much? Detained by Cyantreuse.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-1-800-J[[/a]] ("SUPPLIES ARE LIMITED") - NOT AVAILABLE IN STORES! ACT NOW!!! Pitched by Witryso.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3013[[/a]] ("An Expression of Mourning") - Wow, it's practically leaping off the canvas! Written by Tufto.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-1933-EX[[/a]] ("Lake ███████ Monster") - Once they see this, they'll have no choice but to believe it!!! Yarn spun by RecursiveRecursion.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3388[[/a]] ("Too Many Wolves") -  How many wolves is too many wolves? //All// of the wolves? Yea, that does seem like a little much. AndarielHalo could go for a lone wolf right about now.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3993[[/a]] ("") [[footnote]]Untitled.[[/footnote]]- "//Free super-fast Wi-Fi. And that's just the beginning.//" Written by adrianhon.

++++ Tales

* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]What a Pleasant Town[[/a]] - Part three of the 'Above All, Stand I' series. Written by Esheter.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Kirche[[/a]] - After the Allies firebomb Dresden, Foundation Platoon Baker-66 is deployed to the city to investigate fresh spectral activity, and find a new consequence of war. Written by Ihp.
* The exciting conclusion to the long-awaited Incident Zero arc from the Resurrection Canon is finally here! Be sure to check out parts [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]4[[/a]] and [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]5[[/a]]! - Written by DrClef.

++++ Hubs
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Above All, Stand I.[[/a]] - A series revolving around one William Cranford: Foundation accountant and resident puppet-master. Written by Esheter.

++++ Author's Pages
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Every Goddamn Skip[[/a]] - luckgandor's author page!

+++ Week of May 15th:

They know how to swim...

++++ SCPs

* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3302[[/a]] ("Took the Wrong Left Turn") - Was it a left at The Great Abyss? Or maybe we should've taken that first right before R'lyeh? This is the last time we let Pedantique navigate!
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3075[[/a]] ("A Day At The Beach Is All It Takes") - "//The foetus was found to be covered in a polymer textile resembling a full-body bathing suit.//" Written by Kid F.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3700[[/a]] ("Tides Of War") - A kaiju showdown for the ages! Should we be choosing sides? Written by DrBleep.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3850[[/a]] ("I Can't Drown My Demons") - He's trapped out there, face-down on the lake, lost in the fog... Written by A Random Day.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-2687[[/a]] ("Instant Organs") - Just add people! Written by Larpnochez.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-2654[[/a]] ("1001 Arabian Snacks") - He'll tell you the secrets of the universe - right after he gets his grub on. How is this any different from your typical pothead, again? Whatever. He can crash at tretter's place.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3022[[/a]] ("Hooked on a Feeling") - In case of emergency, head to the nearest restroom. Written by Communism will win.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3420[[/a]] ("Too Many Ghosts") - Just keep telling yourself they deserved it. Written by kinchtheknifeblade.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3034[[/a]] ("The Counting Station") - Tell her 'All is well', and for the love of God, DON'T LET HER FINISH! Written by The Great Hippo.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3750[[/a]] ("A White Fish") - Backseat gamers are literally the worst, aren't they? Written by junkmail-lt.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3624[[/a]] ("Crazy Chimera Lady") - "//SCP-3624 is a thaumaturgic ritual consisting of a number of rites and gestures.//" Written by kemoT01.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3370[[/a]] ("Dead Air") - "Sydney Airport reminds passengers to stay hydrated and well-ventilated owing to complaints made by pilots of spontaneous combustion mid-flight." Written by Taffeta.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3111[[/a]] ("Fingerball ") - Written by Witryso. Yup, it certainly wasn't written by FINGERBAAALLL!!!!!
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3875[[/a]] ("Heartly Changes") - Some march to the beat of their own ventricle. Written by Tatatos.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-2571[[/a]] ("God's Away on Business") - One must imagine him miserable. Written by tretter.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3035[[/a]] ("Science Bugs") - Cockroach see, cockroach do. Let's hope The Great Hippo brought pesticide.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-2639[[/a]] ("Doctors Luther and Dumas") - Life and Death and Cards. I'm rooting for the one that won't kill me! Written by tretter.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3222[[/a]] ("A Very Real Pencil") - "//This pencil is all that's keeping me alive. I am dead. I am the dying.//" Written by CannedBread.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3872[[/a]] ("Consult an Alchemist") - "//SCP-3872 is William Henry Seward, US Secretary of State from 1861 to 1869, and appears to be biologically immortal.//" Written by DrMagnus.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3016[[/a]] ("Perpetual Motion Run Amok") - You spin my head right round, right round round round round roundroundroundround[[size smaller]]roundroundroundroundround[[/size]]. Written by GeometryPrime.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3026[[/a]] ("Fashionable Neurovore") - Everything about this is so full of wrong. Originally by Starwarsbanana and rewritten by Communism will win.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3599[[/a]] ("A Hard Day at Work") - You think your boss sucks? Pfft!!! Written by Pedantique.

++++ Tales

* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]An Overview of Foundation Journals Published in May 2017, So You Can Remember How Fucking Lucky We Were Then[[/a]] - Exactly what it says on the tin. Written by Kate McTiriss.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Clown Breeding 101 with Prof. Richard C. Normus[[/a]] - Rule number one of clown breeding? Don't forget to milk them! Written by DrChandra.

++++ GOI Formats

* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Carporate Sabotage (S-14919)[[/a]] - The EPA is nothing compared to the wrath of piscimancers! Written by SpectralDragon.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Mr. Doggo[[/a]] - Where the Gamers Against Weed and the Serpents Hand intersect, cuteness ensues. Written by RecursiveRecursion.


++++ Author's Pages

* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Witryso[[/a]] - Witryso's author page!

+++ Week of May 22nd:

HUT ONE HUT PI HUT //i//

++++ SCPs

* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3480[[/a]] ("Olympus Mons") - Every myth has a grain of truth. Every legend started somewhere. It's possible that the mythology of an entire culture started here. Sacrificed to the gods by Modern_Erasmus.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3072[[/a]] ("They're Trading Away Our Lives Out There") - Making sure your company makes the most out of its money is an important part of any business. Kate McTiriss found this while buying stock in [[span style="color:royalblue"]] Envelope Logistics. [[/span]]
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3027[[/a]] ("Strong Language") - Speaking another language can change the entire way you view the world around you. This language wants you to see it a specific way. Spoken clearly by CannedBread.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-2759[[/a]] ("Reality Bent") - If a person can bend reality to their will, doesn't it stand to reason that reality can bend a person to its will? Believed into existence by tretter.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3973[[/a]] ("Would you like to re-roll?") - It's not uncommon for tabletop gamers to accuse their dice of trying to kill them, but maybe it's not the dice they should be yelling at. A natural crit, rolled by Sly161.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-2684[[/a]] ("Sid Meier and Cleopatra") - Civilization is a great series. A great series for losing friends that is, provided you have the blood, sweat, tears, and heart to put into it. Moenennbys found this in the dust of a city razed by Raging Barbarians.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-027-J[[/a]] ("Schrödinger's Remote") - A couple's argument spills into official documentation. Written by DrMagnus as he was looking for the remote to his TV. 
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-2683[[/a]] ("Proboscidea Pilgrimage") - Elephants have a very long memory. Sometimes their memories last for so long, they transcend death itself. Sterbai found a water hole and was inspired.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Daveyoufool's Proposal[[/a]] (""KEEP CALM AND APOLLY ON"") - "APOLLY ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE APOLLY!" Screamed into the void by daveyoufool.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3199[[/a]] ("Humans, Refuted") - Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Either way, it's terrifying. Hatched by bittermixin.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3018[[/a]] ("France & the Tale of the Well-Intentioned Understudies") - "Honor the fallen." A simple message, and one that these insects have taken to well. Caught from a bug net by DarkStuff, while they were wandering a forest. 
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3150[[/a]] ("The Caravanserai at the End of the World") - //"Come, weary traveller, and take a drink of coffee or a swig of wine at the inn on the roadside of time. Rub shoulders with the poets, warriors and fallen kings who litter these shifting sands. And find a greater truth in this oasis of wit and wisdom."// Written by Tufto.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3055[[/a]] ("Yes, And") - People say the world is a stage and life is a play, but that can be a nightmare if it's //always// that way. Improvised by CannedBread.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3665[[/a]] ("Instant Demon, Just Add Blood!") - "//Asmodeus Labs is a company hell-bent on making the powers of darkness easy for the whole family to access.//" And they do just that. Summoned by RecursiveRecursion.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3616[[/a]] ("Writer's Block") - Everyone has a muse or inspiration, something that motivates them to write. Those muses don't always have the best intentions. Written with inspiration by kemoT01.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3275[[/a]] ("Excuse me, this is the wrong pizza.") - 'No, seriously, I'm allergic to pineapple and the delivery boy's lack of personal hygiene was haunting!' Coauthored by Scented_Shadow and Zyn.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3021[[/a]] ("Q=") - Changing a person's fundamental view of humanity is difficult. But what if that change could be completed artificially? Written by Communism will win.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-2651[[/a]] ("Gazers") -"If you're going to do a ritual, make sure everyone is aiming for the same goal. Chanted into existence by 9Volt.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3038[[/a]] ("A Starseer") - You ever have that feeling like there's something in your eye, but no matter what you do you can't get it out? Written by marcusjuniusbrutus.

++++ Tales

* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]780-PCS Incident[[/a]] - ?"llewriatS ehT" .Dexanote yb nettirW
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Coach Panagakos, Eldest and Most Revered[[/a]] - "//“Guide us in these times, O Bringer of Touchdowns...//" Written by djkaktus.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Phantom Blunt[[/a]] - Jude's last Stand, set prior to the formation of 'Gamers Against Weed'. Witten by kinchtheknifeblade.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Do Not Go Gentle[[/a]] - "//She counts out the un-bullets in the monstrosity of conceptual circuitry that's replaced the magazine on this gun...//" Written by Taffeta.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Gamers Against Weed Dossier[[/a]] - Keep up with the ever-growing cast of everyone's favorite band of merrymakers! Written by Decibelles.

++++ Author's Pages

* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]RecursiveRecursion's Author Page[[/a]] - RecursiveRecursion's author page!
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Sterbai's Author Page[[/a]] - Sterbai 's author page!
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Dr. K. Stuff's Personnel File[[/a]] - DarkStuff's author page!
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Tufto's Personnel File[[/a]] - Tufto's author page!

+++ Week of May 29th:

How do you even fit this many SCPs into three days???

++++ SCPs
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3212[[/a]] ("Non-Euclidean Euclid") - An SCP about a mass of tentacles that can mold the internal dimensions and space of a room, provided no one watches it. Maybe its just nervous. Written by Tanzanite423.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-2753[[/a]] ("Psychic Residue") - Sometimes those thoughts you lock away see the light, sometimes only when you're dead. Written by Moenennbys.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3058[[/a]] ("Concavity") - A small jar of black ink. Those who use it are visited by a strange apparition and strange dreams. Written by Bentu.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3076[[/a]] ("Avidity") - Artistic skills, like anything else, can be improved through constant practice. This little bird will help you with that, giving the encouragement to constantly get better and better. It may encourage you to get too good though... Written by Bentu.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3066[[/a]] ("Absurdity") - An SCP about a cabin in the woods that's definitely not your typical cabin in the woods. After all normal cabins don't have boreholes in the cellar that spew propaganda telling people to visit the place. Written by Bentu.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3803[[/a]] ("Order Now, Before Supplies Perish!") - A satellite in orbit that occasionally sends advertisements to earth. //"Order now, and increase your chance of spawning offspring tenfold!".// Written as advertised by Pedantique.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3334[[/a]] ("Literally a Billion Memes") - What if you could teach a machine to recognize and contain memetic hazards? This concept is explored in this very well thought out article. Machine taught by PandoraNuker.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3028[[/a]] ("The Nightmares We Love") - Good dreams are the ones you hang on to and that's a sentiment this small stuffed pig tries to invoke. It might not be the best idea to dwell on the past however. Dreamed up by Qwags.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3569[[/a]] ("Buuny Butler") - A friendly wooden rabbit statue that loves to help kids learn about, and maybe replace, their possessions. Found at a thrift shop by TheDigiZoo.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3330[[/a]] ("Etudes for the Universe") - There is a beauty to nature, isn't there? So many see it as the ultimate beauty, and John Milton Cage Jr. allowed that beauty to transcend into music, with a nice dose of fifthism at least. Conducted by Billith
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3037[[/a]] ("A Model City") - "Cities have arms and legs, a whole body. And they fit inside rooms. That is simply what cities do." Written by CannedBread.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3042[[/a]] ("Dog Is Love") - Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? Ok, could you stop being such a good boy? Please?  People are dying. Psyshade loves dogs, and this one loves people.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3023[[/a]] ("And then it decided to be an angry spider") - You probably don't have arachnophobia going into this, but you will coming out. The most unexpected objects turn into arachnoid monsters, and they don't like you. Communism will win while hanging upside down from a spiderweb.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3847[[/a]] ("If only I could talk with birds") - The birds have a kind message for those patient enough to listen. The serpents do not. Transcribed from birdsongs by SunnyClockwork .
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3110[[/a]] ("One Man's Trash…") - A very charitable dumpster who loves to spread the wealth to the less fortunate. It may be a bit too generous though. Written by Ba55.
* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]SCP-3910[[/a]] ("A Comedy") - Nine pieces of chalk, nine symbols, nine doors, and nine dimensions. How are they all connected? Written by Sly161.

++++ Tales

* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Paradigm Shift[[/a]] - TLDR: Existence accidentally'd itself. by Shaggydredlocks.

++++ Author's Pages

* [[a class="newpage" href="#"]]Dr. Dentick's Personnel File[[/a]] - Pedantique's author page!

------

++++ Fandom Stuff


++++ Fanart

* What better way to celebrate LGBT Pride Month than with [http://agentkulu.tumblr.com/image/161851661083 SCP-173] sporting some rainbow duds and [http://agentkulu.tumblr.com/image/161910876863 SCP-096 rocking a lei], both courtesy of [http://agentkulu.tumblr.com/ AgentKulu]?
* Also check out these [http://sexycontainmentprocedures.tumblr.com/post/161317579127/happy-pride-month-i-dont-know-about-you-but-my sweet pride banners] made by Cyantreuse(warning: some NSFW content)!
* On the opposite end of the color spectrum, [https://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=20343392 endrack] brings us this [https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=63151587 fantastic black-and-white artwork of] SCP-049.

------

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