Otel Entra And The Demolition Derby

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[[[UnHuman Hub]]] | [[[Otel Entra And The Complex Disaster of Living Like a Lich]]] >
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The Calamity was weird for Otel Entra. After clawing his way out of the crusty, dry soil, he rubbed his eyes with a brittle finger to see a building with a sign reading ‘//Otel Vacacy Entra//’, and a hooded figure waiting by his side.

The figure’s face was painted with red blotches from the sun. They glanced at the area Otel rose from, before grabbing his hands and pulling him out of the dirt.

“It’s like witnessing birth,” they said, before standing up and dusting off their clothes, “You came to life yourself, by the way. You got some unfinished business or something?”

Otel was about to answer before he felt a slow gush of cool air through a hole in his neck. Turns out spending decades in the earth leaves a man empty inside.

And without vocal chords. Every time he attempted to speak, all that came out were hoarse wheezes and groans.

Otel motioned towards his disfigured and holey body, noticing his hands were thin to the bone and his legs made him stand on a harsh angle.

The stranger grimaced, “Right. I forgot about the uh...the decomposition of older fellas.”

Otel nodded and heard a melodic crack in his spine. With a burning desire to finish his business, he limped past the stranger and into the derelict motel.

-----

...Business done! Otel left the bathroom. He grunted at the sun-splattered stranger, and waved his hands in the air.

“Hm, what is it?” They asked, brushing an orange lock of hair from their face.

Otel didn’t remember much from his past life. Only that he wasn’t missed, and he knew a little bit of sign language from talking with a relative, maybe his grandma, he wasn’t sure.

//I am Otel,// he signed.

“Oh! Oh, that’s great. The basics...okay, um, sign language has actually sorta developed differently since the Calamity, but it’s similar enough. My name’s Flit.”

Flit signed their name, then pointed and slowly shifted their hands in a vague arch. //Calamity//.

//What am I? Am I dead?// Otel looked down at his bony hands and decomposed torso. His signing was slow, but jerky as specks of dirt flung out of his joints.

“Yeah. You’re a Lich, basically uh- like, you’re a zombie, but Prometheans are another thing! Yeah...You’re like an //old// zombie.” Flit scratched their head, like they were rapidly recalling information for a school exam, “You sorta resurrected by yourself, so I just sat down to watch. It gets a bit boring, wandering all alone.”

Scanning the surrounding area, Otel couldn’t see another living soul around the desolate car park and motel, cracked tarmac shifting slightly under the sudden disturbance of the local deadman rising from the earth. He was still confused about where he was, or how long he’d been deceased for.

//Where is everyone else?// Otel scrunched up his face as he looked around, before noticing his jaw was hanging agape. He awkwardly repositioned it out of politeness.

Flit’s signing was quick with very small movements as they spoke, “Well, some people are out and about, like myself, or there’s new communities you can go to… personally, I’m out because I’m looking for parts.”

Otel paused. //...Human?//

“No, no! Parts for my //ride//. All the humans are gone, anyway.”

With this, Flit clapped their hands together.

There was a screech on the road as a large vehicle skidded around the corner. It came towards them at full speed, then abruptly stopped beside Flit.

“Technomancy, bitch!” they laughed, patting the hood of the banged-up car. It was a Frankenstein of many different cars welded together, with odd bits and ends sticking out in all directions like whiskers. The back wheels were giant monster truck wheels, putting the car at a steep angle.

The dust had left Otel coughing on the ground. He noticed it pooling in the dents of his ankles and brushed it out.

//Be careful with that thing, please!//

Flit rolled their eyes, “Don’t be so boneless!”

Otel slumped, arms falling to his sides. He didn’t have many bones, much less an emotional backbone.

“Oops, apologies. Shame you get it let- let it get that bad, hehe. I don’t know how I’d function without bones, you know?”

//Me neither. Bones are important- where are you going?!//

Flit was already in the car.

“I’m...leaving? I have places to be. If you plan on staying here, stay.”

Otel frantically waved his hands. //Wait! At least take me somewhere where I can find out what I should do!//

Flit hummed, “Let me think about it…”

A few moments passed in silence. Otel raised his hands-

“NAH! Like I’d let a //Lich// grime up my sick mousemobile. Remember what to do yourself!”

With that, Flit started the engine and the wheels screeched past Otel, leaving a cloud of dust in his face, hands outstretched.

-----

Flit cruised through the barren fields and cracked roads. They felt a little guilty leaving the newly-raised Lich behind, but knew where they were heading would tear a Lich apart. He would just have to figure out where to go by himself.

“Maybe I did act a bit rude… I just kinda, hm. He had an ugly little face. I wonder what his story is…”

With a sigh, Flit repositioned their rear-view mirror. They passed through a tunnel, then glanced at the back when they got out of it.

“Huh- WHAT THE FUCK, GET THE HELL OFF MY RIDE!”

Flit snapped around to see Otel death-gripping onto the car bumper, bouncing off the road and letting chunks of various flesh and bones disappear into the horizon.

He released a hand, folded his thumb into his palm and put it to his forehead.

//Bastard.//

Flit scowled. With one hand on the wheel, they tried reaching over to kick Otel’s other hand, as the living corpse flopped around in the wind.

“Get off, get off! I have to go! I forgot and now I’m late!”

//Stop at the next town, please!//

“I’ll //stop// alright!”

Flit turned back to the wheel and slammed the brakes. The vehicle leaned forward as it screeched to a halt, tossing Otel into the air. He flung up, to the side, then skidded into the sand.

“Hah! Not so tough now, hrm?” Flit chuckled. Then, the sound of a loud horn rang through their ears.

-----

“Oh, Flitty-Flit! I’m so glad you could join us.”

They looked up from the staggering Otel to see they were in a ring surrounded by multiple cars and trucks.

Standing on a shiny white truck with monster wheels double the height of Flit was a man, wearing a white suit and hat with bright purple flame designs adorning the edges, to match with his truck. He had a slender, cat-like figure.

He hopped over the truck hood and gently landed on the ground.

“Siamese!” Flit huffed, “I swear, I got a good reason to be late.”

Siamese blinked slowly, keeping a blank, long stare on Flit, before shifting his gaze to Otel. He squinted.

“You brought some //bonemeal// to our demolition derby?”

//Demolition? Flit, you left me for a derby?// Otel looked over at the nonchalant Flit.

“Yeah, I did. Winner gets all the broken parts,” they patted their car again and whispered, “//Technomancy, biiiiitch…//”

//Wait, who were you agreeing with?-//

Siamese clapped, declaring and signing with much exaggeration, “You are absolutely correct, Flitto-Fly-Flitty! The winner of today’s demolition derby takes all parts big and small flung off in the chaos, and can use that to create even better things! We believe in the cycle of life here, guys!”

There was a cacophony of growling engines, honking horns and whistles. Siamese grinned.

“Aw man, life and death. Many of us won’t experience the second one though, HAHA!”

He leaped back onto his truck and into the driver’s seat. Otel raised an eyebrow.

“Now, if you would allow us to pummel you into the earth for your second time, Lich mulch man…” Siamese said, revving his engine.

Otel spun around in a panic, looking for an escape route. He was too slow to dodge the speeding vehicles, and the ring was completely set on destroying anything in the way right now.

“And finally, we can begin!” Siamese yelled over the rumble of the cars. He raised his hand and put up three fingers.

“In 3…”

Flit revved the mousemobile.

“2…”

Siamese grinned.

“1!”

And Otel Entra would soon be torn to shreds.

He closed his eyes. Then he felt his feet lift off the ground.

//I’m like an angel floating up to heaven. It's... painless,// he thought.

He wasn’t floating. Flit picked him up by the collar and slammed him into the passenger seat.

“Dumb, dumb little Lich! Stupid little dirt-man!” Flit mumbled, “Put on your seatbelt and duck!”

Otel gasped. He saw huge chunks of metal flying overhead, and quickly sunk into his seat.

Flit had their full concentration on the wheel, dodging charging trucks, and racing around the edge of the ring. They were looking for an opening.

//You don’t have seatbelts!// Otel thought.

He saw Siamese’s truck crushing a car under the sheer weight and size of the wheels, then reverse and make a beeline for another.

“Don’t worry!” Flit yelled, “We all have shields, no injuries here!”

They U-turned the mousemobile.

“Ohhhh shit, you don’t though!”

They turned around to Otel and gave him a thumbs-up.

“You might want to hold on REALLY TIGHTLY!”

They stopped the car, facing Siamese’s truck. A stray car door flung through the air and knocked an unsuspecting driver in the head. Suddenly, it was just the two of them. Flit and Siamese.

There was a pause.

“Speedy little contraption you got there, Flitty!” Siamese called.

“Isn’t it?! Why don’t you spee-deez nuts?!” Flit jeered.

The sand blew up into clouds as the two charged head-on.

//We’re gonna be crushed!// Otel panicked, letting out small yelps everytime the car bumped.

Flit smirked, “I’ve made some improvements.”

The car slid completely under Siamese’s truck, and everything moved in slow motion.

“//Watch this!//”

Suddenly, Flit pulled a lever, and the car went up. It slammed against the underside of Siamese’s truck and tipped it over.

The truck started falling forwards. Flit looked back at the topplinig giant.

“SPRINGS, YEE-HAW!” they hollered.

They didn’t look where the mousemobile was heading though, and it bounced straight into the fence. Otel and Flit flew forward, but fell in the airbag. The car was //busted//.

-----

//That was cool.//

“Thank you, but, urgh…”

They took another glance at Siamese’s truck. It was upright.

“Huh...//HUUUUUH?!//” Flit screamed. All that risk for nothing!

“Excellent work, Flea-Flo-Flum! But I guess we all make mistakes…” Siamese said. He hopped out of his truck, and motioned to two mechanical arms on the truck’s sides.

“Well, guess I win this time around!” Siamese chuckled, dusting off his suit, “Good work everyone! I’ll see you all next time, hopefully!”

Otel heard mumbles of ‘good job’ and groans as the participants left to go their separate ways. Flit backed up and exited alongside them.

-----

“Ugh. I’ll have to repair this for the next time.”

Otel looked over at the front of the car. Miraculously it still worked, but the exterior was completely crushed.

//Then why do you do it? The derby.// Otel questioned, furrowing his brows.

Flit had one hand on the wheel and signed with the other.

“To pass time, really. It’s something to do,” they said, “Damn. I really thought my new trick would topple him over!”

//Did Siamese do that with technomancy?//

“Yeah. Most things you couldn’t do in your time, so it might be weird for you. Especially magic, uh, like technomancy.” Otel could see Flit signing ‘//technomancy//’, briefly removing their wheel hand.

They brought their knuckle up to their right hand, which waved and opened like a pool of magic smoke.

//I see. It was pre-Calamity, yes?//

“Yeah, you’re old. You must’ve died in the nineties, or around that time.”

Flit sighed.

“I don’t know when I’ll win anything, though. I make such a small impact.”

//Not really. You saved me, which is big to me. Plus…// Otel reached for something.

//Sometimes small bites itch the most.//

He put Siamese’s white and purple hat on his head and smiled. Flit cackled, throwing their head back.

“OH! Oh that’s so great. He’s gonna hate that, oh my gosh,” they wiped away a joyful tear, “How did you get that?!”

//When we passed him to leave, he wasn’t wearing it. So I reached over to his truck and took it.// Otel attempted to laugh, but it was more so breathless huffs. He still beamed at Flit, despite missing a few teeth.

Flit smiled.

“You caused me trouble, but I guess I did too. Now we’re even.”

Otel grunted.

//Where are you gonna go now?//

“I might head down to the nearest village, so we can show you the works.”

They sat beside each other, enjoying the silence and the drive down the long, barren roads.

“The works you can do on that stupid, ugly face, of course.” Flit winked.

//You’re an asshat, you know?//

“Yep, I know. I’m a bastard, too.”

Otel tipped his hat and grinned. There was a lot to learn about this new world, and a lot of new people to meet. He hoped to be around for all of it.

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