UIU Memorandum — Paramax Inmate Register, Abridged

Link to article: UIU Memorandum — Paramax Inmate Register, Abridged.

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[[[paramax|Return to main dossier]]]
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**Memorandum**
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**OF** FBI Unusual Incidents Unit;
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**TO** US Domestic Security Advisor;
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**FROM** Warden of USP Paranormal
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----
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At the request of the Attorney General, this document has been prepared to collate and summarize the arrest and detention records of certain prisoners incarcerated at the United States Penitentiary, Paranormal ADX, who have been identified as being of particular interest to the Domestic Security Council. This list is based on an abridged version of the inmate register, supplemented with information from the Bureau's case files; it is not a copy of the Warden's Master Custody Log. This list is subject to ongoing revision to reflect the briefing needs of the Domestic Security Council.
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-- Warden Ulyssa van Kann
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++ Inmate Register
[[/=]]

Inmates are listed under their full name if possible, with common aliases or clarifying comments in parentheses. Inmate terms written in **bold** indicate a life sentence. Inmate terms marked with a dagger (†) indicate that the inmate died while still incarcerated. Incarceration reasons list only the most significant or salient crimes.

||||||||~ Minimum Security ||
||~ Name ||~ Term ||~ Reason Incarcerated ||~ Notes ||
|| Gordon || 2001-2004† || Election fraud || Abnormally intelligent dog. Worked for the campaign of Presidential candidate Ralph Nader. Fraudulently registered and voted on behalf of every dog in Kentucky in the 2000 Presidential election. ||
|| Joyce James Jones || 1993-1998 || Obscenity; unlicensed broadcasting || Operated a pirate and pornographic oneiroic broadcast into the dreamspace of the residents of Wyoming. ||
|| Zagthar || **1986-** || Illegal entry; armed rebellion || Extraterrestrial of unknown origin. Attempted to invade Delaware and overthrow the state government, in an apparently unsanctioned act of military filibustering. Efforts to open diplomatic relations with their government are ongoing. ||
|| David Titus Taylor || **1953-1987†** || Time travel; treason; assaulting a federal officer || Attempted to prevent the creation of the United States by assassinating Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Paine, and Benjamin Franklin. ||
|| Jeremiah Cimmerian || 2018-2023 || Mail fraud || Former member of the Foundation Ethics Committee. Abused Foundation postal privileges to advertise his own self-help book, on the grounds that it promoted normalcy. Still maintains that his actions were morally correct. ||
|| || 2001-2001† || Attempted conceptual arson || Attempted to destroy the concept of Portland, Oregon for unspecified reasons. Destroyed the concept of himself. Remained as a conceptual void until his death from malnutrition. ||
|| Stephen Marshburn ("DJ Burn") || 2019- || Temporal copyright infringement || Abused time travel to secure copyrights to musical works prior to their release, generating plagiarism accusations against the original artists. ||
|| Cheryl Prindiville || **2019-** || Terrorism; contempt of court || Virologist affiliated with the atheistic terrorist group known as [[[saphir-centre|SAPPHIRE]]]. Released an anomalous strain of rhinovirus that sharply increased the probability of infected individuals being struck by lightning in proportion to the frequency with which they recited the Lord's Prayer. Adamantly denies the existence of paranormal phenomena and is still under the delusion that Paramax is a mundane American prison. ||
|| Xalintie Herlaitia || 2015-2019 || Vandalism || Religious activist for the Nälkä faith within Three Portlands. During a religious ceremony, they knowingly turned several buildings within downtown Three Portlands into living organisms constructed out of flesh, bone, and hair.  ||
|| Chris Mempton || 2016-2018 || Vandalism; resisting arrest || Known bibliomancer, responsible for multiple counts of mass typo correction in libraries near his residence. Attempted to "correct" his own arrest warrant; the alterations were easily noticed & reverted. ||
|| Bobert  Jerold || 2019-2020 || Trespassing || United States Postal Service mailman. Found wandering in the halls of the Minimium Security area. No footage of him entering the penitentiary was recovered. Claimed that he was in Jackson, Michigan but "got himself lost".||
|| Margot Bawden Schroen || 2010-2011† || Vandalism ||Converted ~500 acres of Hanford Reach's water into a sweetened, gelatinous substance. Suffered a ruptured bowel while attempting to consume all of the gelatin.||
|| [[[scp-2416|Joseph Grunderson-Pike]]] || 2012-2013† || Creation and possession of an [[[deus-vulture|eigenweapon]]] || Found in possession of a devise capable of functioning as a modified Epsilon-class reality disruptor, claimed to have created it on accident while "playing Legos" in an abandoned Prometheus Labs research facility. Killed by a fellow inmate in 2013, last words were reportedly "gimme a kiss". ||
||||||||~ Medium Security ||
||~ Name ||~ Term ||~ Reason Incarcerated ||~ Notes ||
|| Comte de Saint Germain || 1967-1979 || Counterfeiting || Claims to be the noted 18th century European adventurer, alchemist, and alleged immortal of the same title. Name and age unknown. Caught forging Treasury bonds. Whereabouts since his release are unknown. ||
|| [[[about-deer|Demian Strange]]] || 2019- || Conceptual arson || Degree-holding non-graduate of Deer College. Destroyed the concept of ███████ within the local multiverse. ||
|| Ion "Kip" Honda || 2018- || Detonation of a nuclear device || Detonated a nuclear bomb inside the Wanderer's Library. Arrested on an unrelated charge by Special Agent Renee Morin in Three Portlands. An extradition request by the Librarians is currently under review. ||
|| Jersey Devil || 1982-2002 || Gambling; money laundering || Semi-demonic entity native to New Jersey. Caught running an illegal sports betting book for the Mafia. ||
|| Cindy Cavanagh ("The Molar Murderer") || **1972-1981†** || Homicide || Minor reality bender with control over teeth. Killed twenty-three people in five different states via dental explosion. After nine years in prison, committed suicide with her own teeth. ||
|| Simon Beauregard || 2007- || Kidnapping || Abducted and placed the brains of seventeen individuals into interconnected vats, part of an apparatus to extend Beauregard's life. Kidnapped intelligences accidentally collapsed into one superintelligence, known to have created seven million artificially generated Simon Beauregards in an unknown state within the apparatus. Considerations into whether these simulacrums contribute to Beauregard's prison sentence are ongoing. ||
|| Dr. Ryder Kamron || **2020-** || Metafictional terrorism || Fictional character from //Defiant Star//, a post-apocalyptic sci-fi TV program. Performed narrative ascension to baseline reality with an invented device. Took his own show's writers and producers hostage. Removed from the series after arrest. ||
|| Darrel Frost ("The Icecream Man") || 1995-1998 || Breaking and entering || Minor reality-bender capable of spontaneously creating and controlling dairy-based frozen desserts. Self-proclaimed vigilante operating out of Denver, Colorado. Arrested after breaking into the home of Robert Sorbet, a local business mogul Frost accused of "Dessert-related crimes."||
|| Thomas James Clark || **1999-** || Kidnapping || [[[scp-1788|Biologically modified]]] parahuman. Kidnapped several children with the intention of modifying them in the same fashion as himself, claims that these actions were necessary for them to "grow up".||
||||||||~ Maximum Security ||
||~ Name ||~ Term ||~ Reason Incarcerated ||~ Notes ||
|| Zebulon Ra || **1983-** || Burglary|| Stole the Grand Canyon. ||
|| Coyote || 2012- || Fraud; contempt of court || Demi-deific canid entity believed to be an incarnation of the mytho-archetypal trickster of Native American folklore. Arrested for selling fake lottery tickets. Has made multiple failed escape attempts of varying levels of success, getting as far as the entrance of the maximum-security wing on two occasions. No longer allowed to communicate with prison staff. ||
|| Ada Nac || **1997-** || Terrorism || Radical Prince Edward Island separatist. Modified his own ontology to become the conceptual antithesis of Canada, and thereby immune to all its laws and officers. Detained by the UIU at the request of the Canadian government. ||
|| Manuela Glennis Sinclair || **2004-** || Possession || Detained in possession of 1.06 ounces (oz) of marijuana within the state of Mississippi. Sentenced to mandatory life imprisonment without eligibility for parole due to their status as a habitual offender. Transferred to Paramax due to the generation of a persistent, fundamental, "dread-inducing" psychic field as a result of the subject's severe claustrophobia; kept in maximum-security due to the substantial countermeasures required to neutralize it.||
|| Samuel Gregor ("Suicide Sam") || **2017-** || Homicide, Unlawful Entry || Illegally entered the local dimension from a parallel universe and killed the native version of himself. Currently believed to be responsible for the murders of at least thirty-seven (37) iterations of himself in alternate realities.||
|| John Dillinger || **1972-** || Assassination || Killed President John F. Kennedy. Finally captured by the ghost of FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover. ||
|| Patrick Simeon Laine || **1998-** || Jaywalking || Former police officer unanimously recognized as having orchestrated the "most heinous and sadistic series of crimes" ever committed on American soil. ||
|| Hogarth Mintz ("Wheels") Cartwright || **1989-** || Homicide, racketeering, witness tampering; unrelated pre-mortem convictions available [# here]. || Former captain of the Chicago Spirit. Executed in 1929, but inadvertently resurrected as a lich in 1986 by members of the Sato family Yakuza, informally known as the Chicago Sake. Proceeded to use undead abilities to support the Sato family during the disastrous 1988 Chicago Conference, resulting in the deaths of several high-profile paracriminals. Exorcised and placed into the Solitary Confinement Labyrinth in 1989.||
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[[div class="uiu-header-box"]]
[[=]]
[[collapsible show="Submit New Entry?" hide="Submission Guidelines"]]
[[<]]
This list is an open collaboration log that anyone can contribute new entries to. While the main Paramax dossier is part of the Third Law canon, this page is not, and entries here are not required to follow any specific canon or continuity -- it is even possible for there to be entries that contradict each other.

A few things to keep in mind when adding new entries:
* Paramax is primarily an American facility -- while it does hold some prisoners from other countries, especially ones in North and South America, the majority of inmates are going to be American or otherwise subject to American jurisdiction.
* Paramax is a //prison// -- With few exceptions, everyone in Paramax has been convicted of a crime. It is not a holding facility for persons awaiting trial, and especially not for persons who have not been accused of a crime.
* Paramax is for paracriminals -- Inmates in Paramax are there because either their nature or the nature of their crimes makes it impossible to keep them in a conventional prison without compromising the integrity of the Veil. That can mean parahumans who have committed normal crimes, or it can be normal humans who have committed paracrimes.

To add a new entry to this page, copy and paste the code from the template below and insert it into the appropriate section of the table above, making sure to fill out all of the fields, and then leave a comment on the discussion page explaining your addition. If you're worried about breaking the table, you can also just leave a comment on the discussion page with your suggested new entry.

[[code]]
|| Name || Year-Year || Crime committed || Summary of additional information. ||
[[/code]]

For the name, give the full name of the inmate, if it's known, or use the most common alias if it isn't known. If the inmate is better known under an alias, or if there is some comment needed to clarify their identity, do so in parentheses after the name. If you're struggling to come up with name, try using a random name generator like the one provided by [https://www.behindthename.com/random/ Behind the Name].

Try to make the length of sentences reasonable for the crimes committed (you can look up the penalties for similar real crimes if you need inspiration). If the sentence hasn't been finished, just leave the second year blank. If the sentence is a life sentence, remember to put it in **bold**. If the inmate died in prison, don't forget to put a dagger (†) after the second year.

For the reason the inmate is incarcerated, try to pick one or two short descriptions of the worst or most significant crimes. If there's a paranormal component to the crime, you might want to describe or hint at it here.

For the additional notes, try to give a very brief overview of why this inmate is notable. This can cover their specific crimes, what paranormal abilities they have (if any), how they were captured, or what their eventual fate was. Try not to make this section longer than four sentences.

This page is curated by [[user GreenWolf]], who will regularly prune bad additions and add good suggestions from the discussion page. He has final say on what is and isn't a good entry. If, for some reason, he is unavailable to do curation, custody of this page falls, in order, to [[user TyGently]], [[user ch00bakka]], [[user A Random Day]], [[user Taffeta]], [[user Jacob Conwell]], and then to MAST.
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=====
> **Filename:** UIU_Logo.png
> **Author:** [[*user Zhange]]
> **License:** CC BY-SA 3.0
> **Source Link:** [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/theme:ui SCP Foundation Wiki]

> **Filename:** ParamaxLogoHiRes.png
> **Author:** [[*user DrGooday]], [[*user JackalRelated]]
> **License:** CC BY-SA 3.0
> **Source Link:** [https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/paramax SCP Foundation Wiki]
=====
[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]

UIU Memorandum — Paramax Inmate Register, Abridged

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