Link to article: Project: CLOWN.
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[[>]] [[module Rate]] [[/>]] **Please take a shot everytime the word ‘clown’ is used in some form as you read. If you cannot, pussy.** ‘...How’d you like to make a man disappear?’ Was the motto of the annual clown meetup in Somewhere, West Virginia (sorry for being european idk where the places are). [[module ListUsers users="."]] ‘We like to Party! (The Vengabus)’ by the Vengaboys[[footnote]]A/N: I have this on loop for as long as I write this. It’s looped like 5 times already. Will update will sanity report. 12:10pm.[[/footnote]] was blaring over the speakers as GRN the Auguste, Clown Man from Mega Man 8 and %%title%% (look them up. Real clowns) entered a convention hall. “Gimme a shot of that delectable, warm clown milk,” %%title%% said, sitting down at the bar. “...With chunks.” Clowns of all sorts were there, from teeny tiny little disgusting little things you can punt through the fucking ozone layer to these beanpoles you could definitely do that knee trick on (the one where you kick the back of their knee and they fall back like fucken idiots lmaoooo). GRNN was clowning around, as one GRNNN does. Eating nettles, drawing strange, smelly runes on the walls of the clownvention centre, and walking around in size 47 shoes. He was here to pitch his new idea, Project: CLOWN to the Elite Bozos.[[footnote]]Actually. What the fuck am i doing. My whole week has been consumed by clowns i swear to god all it is is clowns. Just, fucikng….clowons. All my recent works are clowns. I start with clowns i fucking die with clowns. DO YOU FUCKING DIE WITH CLOWNS? DO THEY TAKE YOUR LITTLE NOSE AND INFLATE IT WITH TOMATO SAUCE FOR THE CLOWNIFICATION? THE MUMMIFICATION? GRGRGRGGRGRGRGHRG[[/footnote]] “TOnday,[[footnote]]shut up. Im not changing it. I’m not.[[/footnote]] we kill a man.” GRNNNN said. /me gasps Man and clown are enemies. What the clown starts, the man follows. Cream pies, politics, clowns, those murder clowns, man follows. Clowns are actually a different species, in the //Comoedia// family, thats in my next article btw. “Project: CLOWN,” GRNNNNN said, “is and apollyon class. We will kill mankind. Special Clowntainment procedures: None. Description: *honk*.” Bozo "Bozo, The World's Most Famous Clown" the Clown, introduced in 1946[[footnote]] Bozo the CLown also has an animation feature, I think. I still need to watch it. On that point I’m scared my clown vibes are gonna be oversaturated soon. Like, what if people don’t enjoy my clown tales no more cause i got no variety, anyways, NYHEHEHEHEHHHEHEHHEEHEH[[/footnote]], looked at GRNNNNNN and nodded. “This is most goofy, GRNNNNNNN-kun.” he honked.[[footnote]]this isn’t funny. You;re not allowed to laugh at this. Sanity Report: we like to party, we like, we like to party! 12:43pm[[/footnote]] “Indeed.” GRNNNNNNNN replied. (A/N STOP THE FUCKING MUSIC! I just looked up what a female clown is called. It’s clunt.)[[footnote]]my sources are an archived blog from 2009 and reddit [[/footnote]] okay back to business Back to business. More clowns had gathered around GRNNNNNNNN (clowngregation) to add onto his idea. From the father of modern clowning, Joseph Grimaldi from the early 1800s, to Tropinano, mother of modern SCP clowning.[[footnote]]not the AUTHOR tropinano. It’s just a coincidence my self-insert has the same name as an author on the wiki. I don’t know why you would say that. That’s really fucked up, even for you. It’s just a coincidende. Coincidnede. Coincidence 😎.[[/footnote]] Shouts from the clowd (Crowd): “Drop an anvil on them!” “Let’s do a recreation of War of the Planet of the Apes on them!” “Oh my gosh I love that movie! Caesar’s kinda hot, ngl.” The room fell Silento.[[footnote]]Sanity Report!: 1:03pm. I am not having fun. I have eaten a single scone. Now watch me whip. Now watch me nae nae, now watch me whip whop watch DHDJHJFHAKVFH whip whop wip whop im cracking up. WHOP THATS SO FUNNY. YOU CAN UPVOTE NOW! (: [[/footnote]] “...” The clowd moved on. To pull off this plan the clowns would need the shiniest of shoes, the brightest of clothes and the bulgiest of noses. To cover their clown-scent on their way to the human-city (they’re gonna kill the humans) they sqeeuzed sqeezed. Squeezed their noses and covered themselves in puss. The rotton egg smell from the infected clown noses covered their scent just long enough for them to sneak to the human house, where all 7 billion humans were being held.[[footnote]] fuck sake [[/footnote]] They barged into the house where all the humans were. And KILLED THEM and TOOK THEIR BLOOD AND THEIR SPINAL FLUIDS. Yumyyyyyy. GRNNNNNNNNN had noticed one human on the family PC. He ran up. “STOP!” he pleaded, “PLEASE, DON’T DOWNVOTE THAT ARTICLE!”[[footnote]]idk what article. what if hypothetically it was this one. would you be mad [[/footnote]] The little boy clicked it anyway because stories are temporary and death is eternal. Suddenly, there was a rumble in the earth. Suddenly, GRNNNNNNNNNN looked down, suddenly running out of the house with a sudden movement. The suddenly turned to look at you, curious as to why you were telling it these things. Suddenly, punches you. You die. GRNNNNNNNNNN makes it out alive as the building with all the humans and all the clowns sink into superhell.[[footnote]]yeah thats right youre in superhell now idiot whatre you goona do in superhell fucking loser lmao yea thats right go cry in superhell. 1:21pm.[[/footnote]] The end (or is it????????) And then I wake up. It was all a dream. :)[[footnote]]1:25pm. I am done. I’ve got something to tell you, I got news for you, Gonna put them wheels in motion, h…….he….hey now hey now, hear what i say now, happiness is just around the corner…..the vengabus…...THE VENGABUS……..[[/footnote]] [[/module]] [[footnoteblock]] @@ @@ [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]] [!-- N/A (No Images) --] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]