Researcher Mathias's Colleague Protocol

Link to article: Researcher Mathias's Colleague Protocol.

#page-content .collapsible-block-folded a.collapsible-block-link {
    animation: blink 0.8s ease-in-out infinite alternate;
}
@keyframes blink {
    0% { color: transparent; }
    50%, 100% { color: transparent; }
}

(none)

(none)

[[module CSS]]
#page-content .collapsible-block-folded a.collapsible-block-link {
    animation: blink 0.8s ease-in-out infinite alternate;
}
@keyframes blink {
    0% { color: transparent; }
    50%, 100% { color: transparent; }
}
[[/module]]
[[>]]
[[collapsible show="OUT OF UNIVERSE" hide="Oh, look what you found."]]
[[/>]]
[[<]]
Hi. If you found this, keep it a secret, okay? I just use this so I can keep track of ratings on all of my pages. I don't want to disrupt the in-universe stuff going on.

[[module ListPages created_by="RockTeethMothEyes" order="created_at" limit="none" separate="no"]]
|| **%%title_linked%%** || ##green|**+%%rating%%**## || ##blue|**%%comments%%**## || %%created_at%% ||
[[/module]]
------
UraniumEmpire made a really helpful [http://www.scp-wiki.net/uebench module for underrated things].
------
While I'm here, let me make something clear:

> IN THE EVENT that I am inactive from this site for five (5) years or I have died, I ask that the following stipulations be enacted:
> 
> * The slot for SCP-3732 is to be given to [[*user Agent MacLeod]].
> * All of my independent works are to be given to [[*user Rounderhouse]] 
> * Collaborative works are to be attributed to the respective co-authors.
> 
> ADDITIONALLY, IN THE EVENT of an EMERGENCY, [[*user Uncle Nicolini]] has my phone number. Should there be a legitimate, worrying concern about my whereabouts or health, contact him.
> 
> THAT IS ALL.
> ~RTME
------
Last thing, I swear. I want to tell you all how thankful I am for this community. Everyone has been so kind and patient with me and this place has affected my life in a positive way. I've been able to improve my ideas and find my creative voice through this medium, and I thank you all for the opportunity.

//You better keep this a secret, friend.//
------
[[/<]]
[[/collapsible]]

**Name:** Researcher Mathias

**Security Clearance:** None

**Current Site Location:** Site-319

**Specific Colleague Protocol:** When interacting with Researcher Stuart Mathias, it is important to maintain the façade that he has any ranking within The Foundation. To aid this maintenance, the following terms are to be kept in mind:

||~ IF HE SAYS... ||~ HE IS REFERRING TO... ||
|| Office || His cell ||
|| Computer || The floor ||
|| Documents || The writing on the floor ||
|| Apartment || The far right corner with the lamp ||
|| Wristwatch || The tracking bracelet on his left arm ||

Meals are to be brought to his cell at 09:00 and 16:00. Balanced meals are preferred, but a [https://i1.wp.com/twinspiration.co/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/snackbars.jpg?resize=216%2C188 Philadelphia Cheesecake Bar] and [http://www.ko-fi.com/rockteethmotheyes small monetary donations] may be provided upon a new addition to the floor.

Watch where you step.

**Profile:** Researcher Mathias is gifted with a unique form of clairvoyance that has proven to be beneficial to Site-319. This, however, seems to have greatly skewed his awareness. No one knows how he appeared in Containment Cell-0700, nor why he insists that it is his office/apartment.

Researcher Mathias has been known to use the provided crayons to write on the floor of his cell. Whenever he points his right index finger to anything written on the floor, he will recite something pertaining to the subject from memory. There are no variations in recitations.

||~ ARCHIVED DOCUMENTS -- 2018 ||
||= SCP is [[[SCP-3757|lightning bugs]]][[footnote]]"This is by far my best work. I'm very proud of it. I remember being unreasonably anxious when I posted it and immensely satisfied when it was so well received.

The goal was to make something that was keter, but non-violent (an atypical keter, I guess). I didn't intend for it to read as scary when I first wrote it, but it seems to have added to the skip.

Written and posted while on vacation in Boise, Idaho."[[/footnote]] ||
||= SCP is [[[SCP-3782|Roosevelt's glasses]]][[footnote]]"I intended for this to be my 4k entry, but I got cold feet after I saw the other entries. Admittedly, this didn't have much of a punch compared to some of the others. This was also alluded to in a tale I made for the GoI "AN-SO", but we aren't talking about AN-SO right now.

If I had to pick an article of mine I didn't like as much as the others, this is it. Maybe I'll go back and do more with it someday.

Posted at home from my computer."[[/footnote]] ||
||= SCP is [[[SCP-3754|phone app]]][[footnote]]"This was my contribution to [[*user Dog Teeth]]'s GoI "Accelerate The Future". I was inspired by [[*user OthellotheCat]]'s body pillow skip. I think it might also be the quickest one that I wrote. Also, [[*user Uncle Nicolini]] gave me some cool visual CSS for the reviews.

The intention with this was to make the creepiness from how people reacted to the anomaly. It's also a bit of a nod towards [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_roller whales].

Posted at work."[[/footnote]] ||
||= SCP is [[[SCP-3732|forgotten]]][[footnote]]"I sat on this one for too long. I got a few crits, did some revisions after, and then let it sit in my sandbox. I guess I got self-conscious about my initial concept and didn't want to show other people. I'm glad I posted it, though. It seems I got the reaction I wanted.

Posted from home from my computer."[[/footnote]] ||
||= Author is [[[http://www.scp-wiki.net/rtme-author|me]]][[footnote]]"I don't remember having these hands. I know they look like they should be my hands, but I just woke up one day and they felt wrong. I think someone stole //my// hands and gave me these hands. I wish they would give me back my hands.

Please give me back my hands.

Posted at a hospital in ████ ████████, Iowa."[[/footnote]] ||
||= SCP is [[[SCP-4837|duck]]][[footnote]] "This is my first collaborative work, and I have mixed feelings about it. The idea came after I had taken this picture of a mallard while on vacation. I posted it to SCPD and people commented that it looked like it had a quest about it, so I tried to execute it similarly.

This went through many iterations. It started out as a duck that traded mundane things for weapons (fetchquest duck) and finally became a dragon transformed into a duck that wanted to make its hoard more functional. Ultimately, it has seen mixed reviews. I don't know whether I like this work or like that I did it.

Written in two different time zones with [[*user plaguebearer]] [[/footnote]] ||
||= Chicago Spirit is [http://www.scp-wiki.net/the-workshop Wonderous] [[footnote]] "This was a big step out of impartial tone for me. Before this, I had written three unsuccessful tales that I had self-deleted, so I was a bit averse to writing outside of SCP formats.

Thankfully, [[*user Uncle Nicolini]] invited me to do some work on this. I think we hit the right themes for this work. It's a very unique mix of criminal manipulation and Wonder™. I am very happy with how it turned out and Nico was an excellent collaborator. 10/10, would partner up again!

Posted after a coin flip." [[/footnote]] ||
||= SCP is [http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-3709 stapler][[footnote]]"This skip was created as a tribute to Avelar Professional Products Incorporated, a GoI created by [[*user Uncle Nicolini]] as an expression of scorn for white-collar business. My take on this is (as people have pointed out) very similar to [[[SCP-4988]]]. I wanted to express my time doing customer service work, and this was the best way for me to do it.

As one person mentioned, there is a small inconsistency in the second customer care log. I've pondered on whether I should revisit that and expand on it or correct it. I may never touch it and leave it as is.

Posted just before lunch."[[/footnote]] ||
||= MC&D is [http://www.scp-wiki.net/phoenix-a-la-mode hungry][[footnote]]"This initially started as a collab with SecretCrow, but they kind of disappeared on me. I let it stew in my sandbox before I vented my frustration to Nico, who graciously agreed to help me make it a full article. I am so heckin' pleased with how it turned out. This is probably the most off-the-rails I've gotten with an article and it was a pleasure to write.

The "customer is king" motto was something I lifted from Yakuza 0. I, uh, have been playing that quite a bit lately and the reference felt warranted.

Posted while I was sleeping."[[/footnote]] ||

||~ ARCHIVED DOCUMENTS -- 2019 ||
||= SCP is [http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-4739 milk][[footnote]]"The image is a half-gallon of milk that I found in the fridge at my workplace. It had all this sticky juice stuff on the handle and, naturally, I had to take a picture. I originally posted it in a discord, allowing someone else to use it.

And then I got frustrated and decided to use it for myself because I needed to write something. I guess I didn't //need// to write something, but I felt like I did. So I did. And now this is here.

If [[*user qntm]] wants the slot, they are free to PM me about it.

Posted past its due date, moved out of annoyance."[[/footnote]] ||
||= Medici is [http://www.scp-wiki.net/goliath-circa-1505 statue][[footnote]]"This is one of the keystones set for my team "Tasteless Art Thieves" for the Int-GoI contest. I thought it would be fun to do something kind of bonkers. I appreciate a good rivalry, so it only made sense to have pre-modern art fight pre-modern art.

Posted late at night at work for [http://scp-int.wikidot.com/international-goi-contest-2019 International Group of Interest Contest 2019]."[[/footnote]] ||
||= Tale is [http://www.scp-wiki.net/mobile-toddler-force toddlers][[footnote]]"This was a dumb idea I had very early in my career on the site. I don't know exactly what spawned it, but I'm glad that I finally put it out, and for a contest, too!

I had trouble thinking of what I wanted these children to do. Thankfully, since the prompt was "Shaggy Dog", that meant I could cop out an ending. I think this is the best possible route.

Posted right on time for round 1 of [http://www.scp-wiki.net/144-hour-jam-contest Jam-Con 2019]."[[/footnote]] ||
||= SCP is [http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-4868 juicy][[footnote]]"Yeah, this one isn't my finest work. It's a bunch of random things put together. Document infection, advertisements, octopi, none of it makes sense. I feel like it sets itself up to be a commercial pretty well, though. May revise it someday, probably won't.

Posted a few hours before the deadline for round 2 of [http://www.scp-wiki.net/144-hour-jam-contest Jam-Con 2019]."[[/footnote]] ||
||= MC&D is [http://www.scp-wiki.net/dream-daycare childcare][[footnote]]"I don't know why I make so many things about children, but I hope it doesn't become a staple of my work.

I'm really pleased with this one for how rushed I was to get it out. I think this is my finest example of distinct voices in a work. Each person involved has their own way of typing.

Posted thirty minutes before the the closing of round 3 of [http://www.scp-wiki.net/144-hour-jam-contest Jam-Con 2019]."[[/footnote]] ||
||= SCP is [http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-4889 rabbit][[footnote]]"I advertise this as "a man eats a live rabbit", and it really is more than that. I initially had this planned out to be a man that could only eat this rabbit in exchange of living forever and superhuman traits, but I think the undertones of neglect and abuse add that uncomfortable feeling.

This one was a big breakaway from what I'd been writing up to this point. I'd like to continue writing stuff that gets under people's skin and wiggles around in it.

Posted from home on a Tuesday, exhausted. Featured on [https://scp.cafe/2019/03/30/recap-2019-week-13/ Week 13 of the SCP Cafe Podcast]."[[/footnote]] ||
||= SCP is [http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-4843 family][[footnote]]"I said in my author post that this is inspired by my Grandpa Pat. And it kind of is. He really did love racecars (probably his most distinct hobby). But some of the other stuff is made up, mostly the bit about the cabin and family. It's hard to pin down the kind of person he was. 

I remember seeing my grandma's face back in elementary school and how she said she slipped on a large nut in the driveway (which there was always a lot of), but looking back on it and hearing what some people said, I don't know if that's really true. All I know is that, after she passed away in 2014, I didn't see him that much and every now and then he'd call to ask about setting up his internet, something I never did for him.

That all being said, this is more based on [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dixxse4dpQ4 a Tom Waits song] than my grandfather. The lyrics hit me around the time he passed, and I put them together.

Posted at the ill-advised time of 1:00 AM. Featured on [https://scp.cafe/2019/04/20/recap-2019-week-16/ Week 16 of the SCP Cafe Podcast]."[[/footnote]] ||
||= Essay is [http://scp-wiki.net/a-dime-a-dozen ideas][[footnote]]"Coming Soon

Posted first thing in the morning."[[/footnote]] ||
||= Tale is [http://www.scp-wiki.net/art-is-boring-but-profitable heist][[footnote]]"I'm actually rather happy with this tale. It was my first foray into writing action and it was super fun to plan out all the tense bits. I don't pride myself on dialogue much, but being able to freely describe the scene was great.

When I wrote this, I had been rewatching some Metal Gear Solid cutscenes. I think they gave me the will I needed to finish this out. That tense feeling of almost being found, and then //actually// being found and the events after that is something I drew from playing the games.

Posted in the morning, honestly took too long to write. Made for [http://scp-int.wikidot.com/international-goi-contest-2019 International Group of Interest Contest 2019]."[[/footnote]] ||
||= SCP is [http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-4826 suicidal][[footnote]]"I never expected this to be as highly rated as it was going to be. It came completely out of nowhere and I'm confused and amazed at the response. I'm truly thankful.

Like 4843, this was inspired by a song, but it's by [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yic_aU1cmQ4 Sycamore Smith]. A few of those lines really shocked and stuck with me and I wanted to replicate that impact. I figured the best way was to take away a life that couldn't be taken by their own hand. It's probably my favorite piece to date, due to it's delivery on dark comedy.

It's also a big red flag for the Ethics Committee. If I considered them in my headcanon.

Posted around 8:30 PM CST, I think."[[/footnote]] ||
||= SCP is [[[scp-4859|ghost]]][[footnote]]"Coming Soon.

Posted around 8 PM after four months of nothing."[[/footnote]] ||
||= SCP is [[[scp-4814|women]]][[footnote]]"Coming Soon.

Posted at 2 AM during the spooky month of October."[[/footnote]] ||
||= SCP is [[[scp-4822|photogenic]]][[footnote]]"Coming Soon.

Posted at 1 AM for Bright's 24-Hour SCP Challenge; written in the edit box and posted with no eyes but my own." [[/footnote]] ||

||~ ARCHIVED DOCUMENTS -- 2020 ||
||= SCP is [[[scp-5006|anyone]]][[footnote]]"Coming Soon.

Posted first day of the [http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp5000contesthub SCP-5000 Contest], in collaboration with [[*user TheMightyMcB]]. Finished in 12th place." [[/footnote]] ||
||= Tale is [[[out-with-a-bang|explosion]]][[footnote]]"You don't want to know how this was inspired.

Posted for the first theme of the [http://www.scp-wiki.net/144-hour-jam-contest-two second 144-hour Jam Contest]." [[/footnote]] ||
||= SCP is [[[scp-5960|peanut butter]]][[footnote]]"Coming Soon.

Posted on a Sunday morning."[[/footnote]] ||
||= SCP is [[[scp-5915|brains]]][[footnote]]"Coming Soon.

Posted on a Monday morning, no sleep required."[[/footnote]] ||
||= SCP is [[[scp-5937|secret]]][[footnote]]"Coming Soon.

Posted on a Monday evening, but not on the same day as that last one."[[/footnote]] ||
||= SCP is [[[scp-5948|dead raccoon]]][[footnote]]"Coming Soon.

Posted late on a Fourth of July night."[[/footnote]] ||
||= La Rue is [[[brain-stew|brain stew]]][[footnote]]"Coming Soon.

Posted Friday, July 26th, I think."[[/footnote]] ||
||= Tale is [[[you-or-your-memory|twice departed]]][[footnote]]"Coming Soon.

Posted 4 days since the last after too much time sitting around."[[/footnote]] ||
||= SCP is [[[scp-5971|silence]]][[footnote]]"Coming Soon.

Posted 9 years later."[[/footnote]] ||
||= SCP is [[[scp-4614|wax cylinder]]][[footnote]]"Coming Soon.

Posted for the Canon Renaissance Contest."[[/footnote]] ||

||~ ARCHIVED DOCUMENTS -- 2021 ||
||= SCP is [[[scp-5922|flowers]]][[footnote]]"Coming Soon.

Posted after a long time away."[[/footnote]] ||
||= SCP is [[[scp-5914|spiders]]][[footnote]]"Coming Soon.

Posted just after the last."[[/footnote]] ||

[[=]]
[[collapsible show="[COLLAPSED AUTHOR COMMENTARY]" hide="[UNCOLLAPSED AUTHOR COMMENTARY]"]]
[[/=]]
[[<]]
[[footnoteblock]]
[[/<]]
[[/collapsible]]
------
**Translations:** Despite the lack of material that would necessitate a proper document, the below listed anomalies have been given a designation or title, as well as translation into foreign languages. Investigation into this anomaly is currently underway.

||~ DOCUMENT ||~ LANGUAGE ||
||= SCP-3757 || [http://ja.scp-wiki.net/scp-3757 Japanese Translation] by [[user Tsukiyomizuku]] ||
||= SCP-3732 || [http://scp-wiki-cn.wikidot.com/scp-3732 Chinese Translation] by [[user W Asriel]] _
[http://scpfoundation.net/scp-3732 Russian Translation] by [[user CTapbIu_XyJIuraH]] _
[http://lafundacionscp.wikidot.com/scp-3732 Spanish Translation] by [[user Riyer A]] _
[http://ja.scp-wiki.net/scp-3732 Japanese Translation] by [[user walksoldi]] ||
||= SCP-4837 || [http://scp-wiki-cn.wikidot.com/scp-4837 Chinese Translation] by [[user Eurya]] _
[http://scpfoundation.net/scp-4837 Russian Translation] by [[user CTapbIu_XyJIuraH]] _
[http://lafundacionscp.wikidot.com/scp-4837 Spanish Translation] by [[user Showie]] ||
||= Carroll #055: The Workshop || [http://scp-wiki-cn.wikidot.com/the-workshop Chinese Translation] by [[user feitag]] _
[http://lafundacionscp.wikidot.com/the-workshop Spanish Translation] by [[user Dc_Yerko]] _
[http://ja.scp-wiki.net/the-workshop Japanese Translation] by [[user C-Dives]] ||
||= 'Phoenix à La Mode' (KEN46/FRI98/PNX72) || [http://scp-wiki-cn.wikidot.com/phoenix-a-la-mode Chinese Translation] by [[user Foxhyf]] _
[http://lafundacionscp.wikidot.com/phoenix-a-la-mode Spanish Translation] by [[user Dc_Yerko]] _
[http://fondationscp.wikidot.com/phoenix-a-la-mode French Translation] by [[user Dr Lake]] ||
||= Goliath, Circa 1505 || [http://scp-wiki-cn.wikidot.com/goliath-circa-1505 Chinese Translation] by [[user Sraosha]] _
[http://ja.scp-wiki.net/goliath-circa-1505 Japanese Translation] by [[user C-Dives]] ||
||= Mobile Toddler Force || [http://scp-wiki-cn.wikidot.com/mobile-toddler-force Chinese Translation] by [[user W Asriel]] _
[http://ja.scp-wiki.net/mobile-toddler-force Japanese Translation] by [[user Monidrake]] ||
||= SCP-4889 || [http://lafundacionscp.wikidot.com/scp-4889 Spanish Translation] by [[user morhadow]] ||
||= SCP-4843 || [http://ja.scp-wiki.net/scp-4843 Japanese Translation] by [[user C-Dives]] _
[http://scp-wiki-cn.wikidot.com/scp-4843 Chinese Translation] by [[user ashausesall]] ||
||= A Dime A Dozen: An Essay On Critiquing Ideas || [http://scp-wiki-cn.wikidot.com/a-dime-a-dozen Chinese Translation] by [[user RogerXiao]] ||
||= SCP-4826 || [http://scp-wiki-cn.wikidot.com/scp-4826 Chinese Translation] by [[user ashausesall]] _
[http://scp-kr.wikidot.com/scp-4826 Korean Translation] by [[user Aiken Drum]] _
[http://ja.scp-wiki.net/scp-4826 Japanese Translation] by [[user C-Dives]] _
[http://lafundacionscp.wikidot.com/scp-4826 Spanish Translation] by [[user Uncle Nicolini]] _
[http://scpfoundation.net/scp-4826 Russian Translation] by [[user barfrirabarsvir]] _
[http://scp-pt-br.wikidot.com/scp-4826 Portugese Translation] by [[user cachorrosuperquente]] _
[http://scp-ukrainian.wikidot.com/scp-4826 Ukrainian Translation] by [[user DrKhmelnytsky]] ||
||= SCP-4814 || [http://scp-wiki-cn.wikidot.com/scp-4814 Chinese Translation] by [[user Enflowerz]] ||
------
**Assigned Personnel:** Several members of Foundation staff have been given clearance to actively communicate with Researcher Mathias, as they have earned his trust and established some mutual respect. They have been given pseudonyms and are to be contacted in the event that Stuart Mathias displays that they are aware of their true surroundings.

[[module ListPages separate="no" created_by="rounderhouse" limit="1" order="created_at desc"]]
"__Rounderhouse__":  %%title_linked%% (+%%rating%%) — %%created_at%% 
[[/module]]
[[module ListPages separate="no" created_by="Uncle Nicolini" limit="1" order="created_at desc"]]
"__Uncle Nicolini__":  %%title_linked%% (+%%rating%%) — %%created_at%% 
[[/module]]
[[module ListPages separate="no" created_by="darkstuff" limit="1" order="created_at desc"]]
"__Darkstuff__":  %%title_linked%% (+%%rating%%) — %%created_at%% 
[[/module]]
[[module ListPages separate="no" created_by="Weryllium" limit="1" order="created_at desc"]]
"__Weryllium__":  %%title_linked%% (+%%rating%%) — %%created_at%% 
[[/module]]
[[module ListPages separate="no" created_by="n_aepic_fael" limit="1" order="created_at desc"]]
"__N_Aepic_Fael__":  %%title_linked%% (+%%rating%%) — %%created_at%% 
[[/module]]
[[module ListPages separate="no" created_by="themightymcb" limit="1" order="created_at desc"]]
"__TheMightyMcB__":  %%title_linked%% (+%%rating%%) — %%created_at%% 
[[/module]]
[[module ListPages separate="no" created_by="floppyphoenix" limit="1" order="created_at desc"]]
"__FloppyPhoenix__":  %%title_linked%% (+%%rating%%) — %%created_at%% 
[[/module]]
[[module ListPages separate="no" created_by="kindlyturtleclem" limit="1" order="created_at desc"]]
"__KindlyTurtleClem__":  %%title_linked%% (+%%rating%%) — %%created_at%% 
[[/module]]
[[module ListPages separate="no" created_by="ayers" limit="1" order="created_at desc"]]
"__Ayers__":  %%title_linked%% (+%%rating%%) — %%created_at%% 
[[/module]]
[[module ListPages separate="no" created_by="uraniumempire" limit="1" order="created_at desc"]]
"__UraniumEmpire__":  %%title_linked%% (+%%rating%%) — %%created_at%% 
[[/module]]
[[module ListPages separate="no" created_by="othellothecat" limit="1" order="created_at desc"]]
"__OthelloTheCat__":  %%title_linked%% (+%%rating%%) — %%created_at%% 
[[/module]]
[[module ListPages separate="no" created_by="captain kirby" limit="1" order="created_at desc"]]
"__Captain Kirby__":  %%title_linked%% (+%%rating%%) — %%created_at%% 
[[/module]]
[[module ListPages separate="no" created_by="magnadeus" limit="1" order="created_at desc"]]
"__magnadeus__":  %%title_linked%% (+%%rating%%) — %%created_at%% 
[[/module]]
[[module ListPages separate="no" created_by="Dyslexion" limit="1" order="created_at desc"]]
"__Dysexlion__":  %%title_linked%% (+%%rating%%) — %%created_at%% 
[[/module]]
------
[[=]]
[[module Rate]]
[[/=]]
[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]]
[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]

Researcher Mathias's Colleague Protocol

Module Styles

Inline Styles

Includes

CSS Classes

Page Source