Link to article: SCP-026-J.
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[[>]] [[module Rate]] [[/>]] **Ithem #:** EthCP-026-J **Object Clath:** Thafe. @@[@@//If you're not a moron.// **-Dr Johnson**@@]@@ **Thpecial Containment Prothedureth:** EthCP-026-J ith to be contained in a thandard humanoid containment thell, in order to accommodate EthCP-026-J-1's needth. EthCP-026-J-1 ith to be fed thandard liquid rathons three timeth a day, with the thpecial requirement of no liquidth above 1 degree thelthiuth. At no time are any perthonnel to thick their tongth againtht EthCP-026-J. No matter how dumb they may be. Thee Inthident EthCP-026-J-A. **Dethcription:** EthCP-026-J ith a decorative light pole, identhified ath a 4004 Newport thtyle thtreet Light Package. EthCP-026-J ith observed to exthibit freething temperatureth at all timeth regarleth of thimuli, between -7 and -8 degreeth thelthiuth. EthCP-026-J wath in thandard containment until Inthident EthCP-026-J-A (Thee below). After thith inthident, O5-7 ordered Rethearcher Nicholth to be dethignated ath "an idiot popthicle" and EthCP-026-J-1 for one month or unthil their tongue freetheth off, whichever cometh firtht. **O5-7's note:** //Hot water is not to be issued to SCP-026-J-1, until October 17th, as they deserve what happened to them.// **Inthident Log EthCP-026-J-A** On Theptember Theventeeth, 2015, the following was obtherved in EthCP-026-J's original containment thell: [[collapsible show="Inthident EthCP-026-J-A" hide="How stupid can you be?"]] > **BEGIN LOG** > > **Dr. Johnson:** So...what do we do with this thing again? > > **Dr. Nichols:** I'm not sure. We're supposed to be testing with it, but I don't think that there's much here. > > **Dr. Johnson:** I got my tongue stuck once when I was a kid to one almost like this. Not anomalous obviously, but either way, man did it suck. > > **Dr. Nichols:** I'm pretty sure that is just an urban legend. > > **Dr. Johnson:** Are you serious? Aren't you a materials scientist? > > **Dr. Nichols:** Yes. I'm just saying, I think that's just an urban legend. > > //Dr. Johnson exits the chamber for a few minutes, and returns with a D-Class designated D-4278// > > **Dr. Johnson:** Hey, D-4278, lick it. > > **D-4278:** Isn't that the light pole? Look, I'm not stupid, I'll get my tongue stuck to it. > > **Dr. Johnson:** Just do it, that's an order. > > **D-4278:** Honestly? I'd rather be shot. > > **Dr. Nichols:** Oh for god's sake, it's just an urban legend, watch. > > //Dr. Nichols is observed to walk up to EthCP-026-J and press their tongue up against EthCP-026-J, sticking it firmly to the pole// > > **Dr. Nicholth:** OH GOH, MY THONGUE, ITH THUCK, HELP. > > **Dr. Johnson:** Y'know what, you deserve that, you twit. > > **D-4278:** Shouldn't you like...get help or something? > > **Dr. Nicholth:** YETH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELP ME > > **Dr. Johnson:** Nnnnope. Anyone dumb enough to stick their tongue to an anomalously sub-zero pole deserves what's coming. > > **Dr. Nicholth:** THITH ITHN'T FUNNY! > > **Dr. Johnson:** Yeth it ith. This is why you should avoid cold posts. > > //D-4278 and Dr. Johnson exit the chamber, leaving Dr. Nichols stuck to EthCP-026-J// > > **END LOG** [[/collapsible]] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]