Link to article: SCP-1797-J.
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[[>]] [[module Rate]] [[/>]] [[div style="float:right; margin:0 2em 1em 2em; width:300px; border:0;"]] |||| [[image http://i.imgur.com/gkhuR.png width="300px"]] || ||||~ ^^SCP-1797-J. Note the presence of a handsome friend.^^ || [[/div]] **Item #:** SCP-1797-J **Object Class:** Safe **Special Containment Procedures:** SCP-1797-J is to be kept inside a secure storage unit at the media archive of [[[secure-facility-dossier-site-77| Site-77]]]. It is to be checked regularly for imperfections. Once every four years, a search of any possibly related artifacts should be conducted through the archives. **Description:** SCP-1797-J is a polymorphic oil portrait of former United States President George Washington. Behind him stands an unidentified male figure engaging in apparently vigorous sexual intercourse with Washington. "GEORGE WASHINGTON ENTERTAINING A GENTLEMAN FRIEND WHILE PICKING HIS NOSE"(sic) has been written on the backing with a felt tipped writing instrument. Laboratory analysis indicates that SCP-1797-J is from an authentic time period. SCP-1797-J was initially encountered by a filing clerk in the George Washington Presidential Library in 1█81. Upon viewing it they alerted the local constabulary with the intent to find the painter and press "obscenity charges". A low-level investigation was conducted, at which point the Foundation was alerted and secured SCP-1797-J. Further investigation of the library's records by Foundation personnel failed to yield any leads on SCP-1797-J's origin. Repeated viewings of SCP-1797-J causes it to display a different scene. Each viewing becomes more and more "randy"; However the President will always be picking his nose. **Addendum:** Researcher James has pointed out a possible relation to the following items: * SCP-████ - "John Adams yanking out a loose tooth while vacuuming" * SCP-████ - "Thomas Jefferson being hit with a spork while kicking" * SCP-████ - "James Madison doing jumping-jacks while writing a letter" * SCP-████ - "James Monroe toweling off while bicycling" * SCP-████ - "John Quincy Adams frowning while looking at his dad" * SCP-████ - "Andrew Jackson tying his shoelaces while melting" * SCP-████ - "Martin Van Buren laying his head in a guillotine while playing a borrowed Game Gear" * SCP-████ - "William Henry Harrison conducting an orchestra while sneezing" * SCP-████ - "John Tyler verbally reprimanding his children while taking off a Pinocchio costume * SCP-████ - "James K. Polk dancing while learning to scuba dive" * SCP-████ - "Zachary Taylor picking cherries while drawing himself a map" * SCP-████ - "Millard Fillmore filling a mill with flour while giving a haircut" * SCP-████ - "Franklin Pierce drinking while conducting a train" * SCP-████ - "James Buchanan cooking some dinner while converting to Mormonism" * SCP-████ - "Abraham Lincoln being kicked in the nuts while changing into corduroy pants" * SCP-████ - "Andrew Johnson checking out a library book while crows peck at his eyes" * SCP-████ - "Ulysses S. Grant having sex while drinking" * SCP-████ - "Rutherford B. Hayes opening his mail while grilling a steak" * SCP-████ - "James Garfield tripping over some tree roots while wearing a hat" * SCP-████ - "Chester Arthur having an operation while attempting to return a gift" * SCP-████ - "Grover Cleveland shoveling manure while practicing defenestration * SCP-████ - "Benjamin Harrison spending a billion dollars while spelunking * SCP-████ - "Grover Cleveland suffering from defenestration while gravitating * SCP-████ - "William McKinley inserting a butt-plug while playing the harmonica" * SCP-████ - "Theodore Roosevelt canoeing while scratching his ass" * SCP-████ - "William Howard Taft having a dick drawn on his face while taking a bath" * SCP-████ - "Woodrow Wilson being racist while paying a parking ticket" * SCP-████ - "Warren G. Harding betting on a horse-race while he is attacked by fire ants" * SCP-████ - "Calvin Coolidge wiping a booger on a 4 year-old named Ricky while hokey-pokeying" * SCP-████ - "Herbert Hoover impersonating the Michelin Man while learning to be a city planner" * SCP-████ - "Franklin Roosevelt being mocked by stand-up comedians while listening to the radio" * SCP-████ - "Harry Truman polishing his spectacles while participating in a bank robbery" * SCP-████ - "Dwight D. Eisenhower being devoured by snapping turtles while urinating" * SCP-████ - "John F. Kennedy falling out of an airplane while combing his hair" * SCP-████ - "Lyndon B. Johnson exiting a Dollar General while lancing a boil" * SCP-████ - "Richard Nixon grating some cheese while visiting Tokyo Disney" * SCP-████ - "Gerald Ford coordinating a model shoot while playing football" * SCP-████ - "Jimmy Carter lighting his car on fire while knitting a sweater" * [[[SCP-1981]]] - "Ronald Reagan Cut Up While Talking" * SCP-████ - "George H. W. Bush trying to tell a joke while vibrating" * SCP-████ - "Bill Clinton operating a radio telescope while deciding which tie to wear tonight" * SCP-████ - "George W. Bush getting a pap smear while reading" * SCP-████ - "Barack Obama surveying a volcano while failing a math test" * SCP-████ - "Donald Trump shuffling a deck of cards while yodeling" [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box |author=Anonymous, Salman Corbette]] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]