SCP-1970-J

Link to article: SCP-1970-J.

:root {

 .footnotes-footer{
     display: none;
}
}

(none)

```
log-header
```
```
log-header
```
```
log-header
```

[[include :scp-wiki:theme:flopstyle]]
[[include :scp-wiki: theme:calibri-logos |inc-s9-fr= --]]]

[[include :scp-wiki:component:earthworm
| first=false | last=true | hub=yes
| previous-url=https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1969-j | previous-title=SCP-1969-J
| next-url=URL_OF_NEXT | next-title=TITLE OF NEXT
| hub-url=https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/joke-scps | hub-title=Joke SCPs
]]

[[Module css]]
:root {

 .footnotes-footer{
     display: none;
}
}
[[/module]]

[[>]]
[[module Rate]]
[[include :scp-wiki:component:author-label-source start=--
|name=StrangerSwing
|no-right-margin=*]]
= **Le Fonduetion**
= Written by [[*user StrangerSwing]]
----
= Read more from me at [[[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/the-stranger-swings | my author page.]]]
----
[[include :scp-wiki:component:author-label-source end=--]]
[[/>]]

[[include :scp-wiki:component:customizable-acs
|item-number= 1970-J
|clearance= 4
|container-class= euclid
|disruption-class= ekhi
|risk-class= notice
|item-text= item#
|level-text= level
|clearance-text= confidentiale
|clearance-number-text= 4
|containment-text= classe de containement:
|disruption-text= classe de disruption:
|risk-text= classe de riske:
|inc-custom-text= --]]]
@@ @@
[[include :scp-wiki:component:image-features-source |hover-enlarge=--]
|enlarge-amount=8
|speed=250
|float=true
|align=right
|width=200px
|url=https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a3/Pittston%2C_Maine%2C_Road_Signs.jpg
|add-caption=true
|caption=Les signages written in pre-SCP-1970-J language.
]]

**Les Procedures Containement Speciale**
Zere appears to be zero witnesses to zee anomalie[[footnote]]But, zee investigations, zey never end, non?[[/footnote]]. Zee bendeurs of realité, zey are assessing zee damages wrought by SCP-1970-J. Citizens who discoveur pre-SCP-1970-J reliques must have zeir minds wiped clean with our strongest Class- A amnestiques[[footnote]]Three-parts Cognac, two-parts Absinthe.[[/footnote]].

**Le Dèscription**
L’anomalie, it was a ripple in zee fabrique of realité itzelf, stretching across zee Unité States, and perhaps furtheur. Oui believe zat it fundamentalley changed zee language, culture, and architecture of zis countrie, as reliques from an unknown language zery similaire to French have been uncoveured, dating at least to zee 1600s. It is predicté zat none were hurt in zee transformation, but in zee uncaring miserie of zee cosmos, aren’t we all hurt?

**L’Addendum 1970-J-1**
[[div class="log-header"]]
++* INTERVIEW LOGUE
-----
**Intervieweur:** Dr. Crémant Pérignon

**Interviewé:** Unknown

**Avant-mot:** On a routine inspectionne of zee Site, a mysteriouse individeulle was discoveured locked in a large metale contraption locaté in zee basemente. He was quicklie brought in for queustions.
-----
**<Begin Logue>**

//Zee strangeur appears dazed and irritaté. Pérignon sits across from ‘im.//

**Pérignon:** State your name for zee recorde, s’il vous plaît.

[[include :scp-wiki:component:image-features-source |hover-enlarge=--]
|enlarge-amount=8
|speed=250
|float=true
|align=right
|width=200px
|url=https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/cb/Closed_diving_bell_20151203_132316.jpg
|add-caption=true
|caption=Le monsieur’s contraption.
]]

**???:** //[fatigué]// Who... who the fuck are you?

**Pérignon:** Zis will be made clear in a momente, monsieur. Your name, s’il vous plaît.

**???:** Wait, aren’t you Foundation?

**Pérignon:** //Fonduetion//, monsieur. With an ‘ue’.

**???:** No. I need to speak to O5-1. Now.

**Pérignon:** Hm? Ah, you mean Le Monsieur Premiere. I am afraid zee Conseil Premiere is on liqueur leave at zee momente. Besides, zey do not make much sense. But I will need your name, monsieur.

**???:** The Engineer. No last name.

**Pérignon:** Right. And are you masculine or feminine?

**La/Le Engineur(e):** What?

**Pérignon:** Is your name masculine or feminine? ‘La’ or ‘le’?

**La/Le Engineur(e):** How can you... gender a name? And are you trying to sing?

**Guard:** Non, zee name, it begins with zee vowele. So, ‘L’Engineur.’

**Pérignon:** L’Engineur... where have I heard zis name? An operative of zee Coalition d’Occulte, or... non, it is L’Insurgencie de Chaos!

**L’Engineur:** Oh, thank God, that still exists. Look, just drop me off at CI HQ and I’ll be out of your-

**Pérignon:** Oh, non, L’Insurgencie, it exists no more. Zee Delta Commande, zey realized evil lies not in zee fascistique ways of zee Fonduetion, but zee pithy tragedie and hatred inherent in zee human conditione. Zey took zeir lives many years past. Now, tell me about how you found yourself in zis predicamente.

**L’Engineur:** I find it so hard to remember. There was this meeting with Novac, Marshall and One, and we were figuring out how to contain this European infohazard...

**Pérignon:** Describe zis info’azard to me, in broad terms.

**L’Engineur:** Uh, something about tearing down the class structure and basing value on labor.

**Pérignon:** Zis does not zeem like a ‘azard to me.

//L’Engineur is struck with fear.//

**L’Engineur:** Does the black moon howl?

**Pérignon:** Only under zee dictateurship of zee prolètariat.

**L’Engineur:** Oh, oh God. I’ve only made it worse.

**Pérignon:** Made what worse, monsieur?

//L’Engineur runs out of zee room in a hurrie.//

**<End Logue>**
-----
[[/div]]

**L’Addendum 1970-J-2**
[[div class="log-header"]]
++ INCIDENT LOGUE
-----
**Avant-Mot:** After zee previous interview, L’Engineur disappeared for six days. He reappeared intreuding upon Le Monsieur Premiere’s abode.
-----
**<Begin Logue>**

//L’Engineur bursts into zee foyer, covered in twigs, scratches and bite marks.//

**L’Engineur:** One! One! Buddy, you don’t know what I went through to get here. I get you’re a man of security, but when they said ‘middle of the woods’, they //really// meant middle of the woods. Did you know boars are carnivorous?

//Le Monsieur Premiere is sat in a swivel chair in a darkened corner of the room, rocking slowly back and forth. He swivels to face L’Engineur, holding a cheap cigarette between his index and middle fingers and an ink pen in the other hand.//

**Le Monsieur Premiere:** The decrepit stranger trampled into the chalet, spilling the grime and decay of the outside world into the Administrator’s realm. The long-forgotten sound of Wintery winds kiss'd his cheek, teasing that there is hope yet for a beautifully quiet world. Alas, a fiction.

**L’Engineur:** It’s July!

**Le Monsieur Premiere:** How bless’d art the timeless drunkards, who stumble from residence to residence unsure when December’s cold edges them to their graves. As a Frenchman, it is my very vocation to concoct enough liqueur to reach even a sliver of the inebriation of this fellow. How curious a foreigner this is, who has the sharpness to outlast the irate defenses of the forest, yet the bluntness not to feel the frost embalming his loins. Where, pray tell, do ye hail from?

**L’Engineur:** New York, but look, I-

**Le Monsieur Premiere:** Hah! Another curious befuddlement of the wines. A fool testing a Frenchman’s political //savoir faire// with made-up countries, as though the French are not dripping with cultural awareness.

//L’Engineur breaks down into tears.//

**Le Monsieur Premiere:** Woe, for even the whimsical drunkard must confront the rhythmless metronome of human emotion. ‘Tis the //human// condition, after all, and that which does not bear the unbearable wit of God is no longer human.

**L’Engineur:** //[sobbing]// I just- I just wanna go //home//. I don’t wanna be culturally aware, or a philosopher, I just wanna go to my mass-produced picket fence home, curl up in my outsourced bed, and dream about being able to afford a GP visit. Just get me out of here, please!

**Le Monsieur Premiere:** Ah, ‘tis a simple request from a simple man. May I enlighten you to the... “culture” and inhabitants of Canada?

**L’Engineur:** //[wipes tears]// Wait, that makes sense! If in this universe, the Americans are French, then the Canadians must be normal! When do we leave?

**Le Monsieur Premiere:** Just after I finish my novella.
-----
[[/div]]

**Addendum 1970-J-3**
[[div class="log-header"]]
//L’Engineur is flying over a Canadien citie in zee 'elicopteur.//

**Pilote:** //[shouting over blades]// Zis is your stop! Take zee parachute on zee way out, and land on zee big 'ash'!

**L'Engineur:** The big what!?

**Pilote:** Ash! Letteur after ‘G’!

**L'Engineur:** Oh, 'H’! Right!

//L'Engineur jumps out of zee 'elicopteur and deploys zee parachute. 'e lands on zee 'elicopteur pad of a large building, and finds 'imself surrounded on all sides by Canadien soldieurs. A pompous, moustachio'd man walks up to greet L'Engineur.//

**L'Engineur:** It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mister President.

**Earl Grey:** Good eve to you, fine chap! I hear you've gone through quite the circumstance to get here. Come, let's get acquainted over some quality tea and biscuits. Oh, and I believe you mean "Mister Prime Minister."

//L'Engineur is flabbeurghasted. He grabs zee prime ministeur by zee shoulders.//

**L'Engineur:** Tell me what country this is.

**Earl Grey:** What a peculiar inquiry! These here are His Majesty's United Realms of Canada and its Overseas Constituents, of course.

//L'Engineur falls to his knees, and sobs.//
-----
[[/div]]

[[include :scp-wiki:component:earthworm
| first=false | last=true | hub=yes
| previous-url=https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1969-j | previous-title=SCP-1969-J
| next-url=URL_OF_NEXT | next-title=TITLE OF NEXT
| hub-url=https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/joke-scps | hub-title=Joke SCPs
]]

SCP-1970-J

Module Styles

Inline Styles

Includes

CSS Classes

Page Source