SCP-1D6-J

Link to article: SCP-1D6-J.

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**Item #:** SCP-1D6-J

**Object Class:** 
# Safe
# Euclid
# Keter
# Safe, later promoted to Euclid once it exploded a guy's eyeballs
# Safe, later promoted to Keter once it exploded ten guys' eyeballs
# Double Keter

**Special Containment Procedures:** SCP-1D6-J is to be contained within:
# a cardboard box
# standard 3m x 3m x 3m room
# standard 3m x 3m x 3m room with a lock on the door
# olympic pool full of vinegar
# underground bunker guarded by a priest, a rabbi, and a cowboy
# its own pocket universe

**Description:** SCP-1D6-J is a:
# stone cube
# common household item
# big dog
# swarm of insects
# just some hobo
# conglomeration of body parts from at least three different taxa

except that it is:
# extremely old and decaying
# brand spanking new
# alarmingly out of fashion
# warm to the touch
# radioactive
# noneuclidian

SCP-1D6-J was acquired from:
# Dr. Bright's bathroom
# suburban house, family now insane
# holy temple, monks didn't like it
# alternate future
# real future
# another universe, bad move in retrospect

Attempts to destroy it have failed due to:
# didn't feel like it
# it's indestructible
# it regenerates
# it is too cute to destroy
# it destroys the scientists first
# [DATA EXPUNGED] all over people's faces

Handling the SCP or being close to it leads to:
# hairy palms
# intense feeling of paranoia
# skin replaced with non-skin substance
# hive mind formation
# Disappearing Leg Syndrome (DLS)
# heat death

**Research Log:**
Research attempted:
# threw rubber ball at SCP
# exposed it to open flame
# told a D-Class to tell his problems to SCP
# uttered list of power words between "G" and "M"
# drew a mustache on it with marker
# fed it to SCP-682

Results:
# strong smell of camphor
# voices from beyond the membrane dictate shopping list
# blood, blood everywhere
# nothing much, but O5s told us to stop anyway
# Site-22 destroyed 
# time now runs backwards, my bad

**Notes:**
# Don't feed it after midnight
# Stop using this as a doorstop, you guys
# All references to pop culture are strictly forbidden
# Pretty sure it winked at me
# Requests for better accommodation and some light reading rescinded
# It speaks truth and we shall all join it on the black ship

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