SCP-209-J

Link to article: SCP-209-J.

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++* ##white|BY ORDER OF THE OVERSEER COUNCIL##
##white|The following file is Level 4/209-J classified. Unauthorized access is strictly forbidden and will result in treatment with Class A amnestics and subsequent demotion to D-Class .##
[[/=]]
= **##white|I'm serious. I will find you and break your kneecaps.##**

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[[include :scp-wiki:component:anomaly-class-bar-source
|item-number= 209-J
|clearance= 4
|container-class= esoteric
|secondary-class= uncontainable
|secondary-icon=https://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/zackvmk-s-acs-icon-page/Uncontainable.svg
|disruption-class= vlam
|risk-class= notice
]]

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[[=]]
> ++ SPECIAL CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES
[[/=]]

If SCP-209-J manifests, there is no viable way to contain or terminate it. The staff member targeted by SCP-209-J is to --be terminated immediately--[[footnote]] No, Dr. Gilford, you cannot just terminate staff members for a random occurence and then blame it on "That damn fly!". [[/footnote]] attempt to ignore SCP-209-J in hopes that it will teleport elsewhere. If staff attempts to contain SCP-209-J using a container, it will teleport out of said container.  Staff are advised not to attempt to terminate SCP-209-J, as this may cause it to buzz at a much louder rate.

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[[=]]
> ++ DESCRIPTION
[[/=]]

SCP-209-J has the appearance of a common housefly, and is of a somewhat larger size than the normal, non-anomalous housefly. The main anomalous ability of SCP-209-J is its ability to teleport to any SCP Foundation personnel, and after around 1-2 hours of annoying said personnel, it will dematerialize and teleport to a different staff member. The fly has proven impossible to terminate, as it is invulnerable to any physical damage. SCP-209-J typically prefers to teleport to personnel who are already having a particularly stressful day. Researchers have concluded that this is due to SCP-209-J having interest in causing as much annoyance as possible. Another anomalous ability of SCP-209-J is the ability to emit a much louder and annoying buzzing sound, ranging anywhere from 8 decibels to 80 decibels.

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[[=]]
> ++ TERMINATION LOG
[[/=]]
Termination Attempts Included[[footnote]]At first O5 command believed this was overkill and unnecessary. However, following Incident 209-J-1A-CLASSIFIED, the O5 Council has authorised the termination of SCP-209-J by any means necessary.[[/footnote]]
[[div class="blockquote"]]
* Flamethrowers.
* Military Grade Explosives.
* O5-8 hitting it with a flyswatter.
* [[[SCP-049]]] smacking it.[[footnote]]After the encounter between SCP-049 and SCP-209-J, 049 described the experience as "Greatly inconveniencing."[[/footnote]]
* --Detonation of a 20 Kiloton nuclear warhead-- This did not happen. Anyone who believes to recall such an event are to report to Site Command for administration of Class A amnestics.[[footnote]]Alright, who the fuck detonated a NUCLEAR BOMB because of a FUCKING HOUSE FLY? I swear to God,  you people have a combined IQ of a damn rat.[[/footnote]]
* Gamma radiation.
* Dr. Jacob Gilford grabbing a vintage Brown Bess Musket off of a shelf in his office and firing a shot that precisely impacted the fly. --Why the hell do you keep that thing on your shelf and fully loaded with gunpowder?--[[footnote]] That's classified information. [[/footnote]]
* Exposing it to music composed by Billie Eilish. --How the hell would this kill it?-- This is probably the closest we got to killing this damn thing.
* [[[SCP-682]]] swiping it with its claw.
* Attempting to eat it.
* Exposing it to hydrochloric acid.
* Asking [[[SCP-662]]] to terminate it. 662 apologised, before stating that it was impossible.
* Exposing it to liquid nitrogen.
* Exposing it to Fluoroantimonic acid.
* A Junior Researcher screaming profanities at it.
* Exposing it to SCP-217. It seemed completely unphased by the exposure. 
* Dr. Bright making contact with SCP-209-J using [[[SCP-963]]]. At first, the fly stopped moving, hovering above ground, before flying into Dr. Bright's eye.
* The power of friendship. [[footnote]]Don't even ask.[[/footnote]]
* Placing it in a vacuum completely airtight, and devoid of any oxygen.
* Actually using an electric vacuum.
* Sending it to Russia.
* Shooting it with a RPG-7 using a PG-7VR 105mm rocket.
* Attacking it with a shoe.
* Crying.
* Exorcism.
* ████████ ███ ██ ███ ███████ ███████.
* Asking it politely to die.
* Screaming at it.
* Throwing hot coffee at it. Great job, you ended up spilling it on Dr. ██████.[[footnote]]Dr. ██████ has expressed a desire to do [DATA EXPUNGED] to the researcher who spilled the coffee on him. Dr. ██████ has been placed on psychiatric leave until further notice.[[/footnote]]
* Exposing it to mustard gas.
* Exposing it to sarin gas.
* Exposing it to ethylsarin gas.
* Filling the room that it occupied with gasoline, and lighting it on fire. This led to the destruction of Site-798.[[footnote]]The Researcher who authorized this, Dr. Jathaniel Edward Jameson-Howardson, was terminated for this. And also for having a stupid-ass sounding name. I swear to God, people, stop being fucking idiots! You are scientists, think rationally! But then again, you people are the same people who authorized a "Bring your kid to work day!" to the site that SCP-106 was being housed at, leading to a massive containment breach, and the death of the child. Some of you people are fucking sadists. [[/footnote]]
* (This Incident was accidental, but it doesn't matter because it didn't work, AS USUAL.) Randomly, 209-J manifested in front of [[[SCP-953]]]. At first, 953 mostly ignored it, but became annoyed at it and began attacking it. The subsequent containment breach of 953 left 3 personnel dead and 7 injured, and when questioned, 953 refused to accept defeat.
* Introducing a singularity to SCP-209-J.

[[/div]]

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[[=]]
> ++ INCIDENT 209-J-1A-CLASSIFIED
[[/=]]

**DATE:** ██/██/████ at ██:██
**LOCATION:** Site-███

At the time of the incident, the O5 Council was having a highly classified meeting within Site-███.
Details of the meeting are classified at the highest level and are protected by a memetic kill agent. However, one portion was declassified, in which SCP-209-J manifested inside the meeting chamber.
[[div class="blockquote"]]
**O5-1:** "And so it has been decided to overrule the decision made by the Ethics Commit- er, do you hear that?

**O5-4:** "Yeah, it sounds like loud buzzing..."

**O5-1:** "Aha, found it. It's a damn fly."

//[O5-1 then proceeded to slap the fly, but found that it was ineffective in killing it. The fly then flew into O5-1's eye.]//

**O5-1:** "Gah, piece of shit! Ugh, someone get the damn flyswatter."

**O5-7:** "With due respect, sir, why are we letting a fly interrupt this meeting?"

**O5-1:** "It's personal, now. Damn bastard attacked my eye!"

**O5-8:** "I got it! Heh, got you now."

//[SCP-209-J then flew into the face of O5-1, as O5-8 was swinging at it with a flyswatter. O5-8 then accidentally smacked O5-1 in the face. SCP-209-J was completely unharmed.]//

**O5-1:** "Fuck! Gah, give me the damn thing, I'll send the motherfucker straight to hell!"

//[O5-1 proceeded to snatch the flyswatter out of O5-8's hand, before swinging at SCP-209-J. 209-J then began buzzing extremely loudly, at about 80 decibels. This was enough to cause temporary hearing damage at prolonged listening. ]//
[[/div]]
The rest of the incident has been classified at Level 6. However, it is known that after the incident concluded, SCP-209-J teleported to a different Foundation employee. O5-1 then gave the order to terminate SCP-209-J by any means necessary.

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[[=]]
> ++ IMPORTANT NOTICE
[[/=]]

After recent studies were conducted by the O5 Council, it has been discovered that SCP-209-J originated from a failed experiment conducted by Dr. Jacob Gilford. After being confronted for this, he stated the following.

//"I was being annoyed by this fly, it kept flying into my eye. So, I decided to get my revenge. I could have killed it, but, being a sadist, I decided to torture the fly for mildly inconveniencing me. I hooked it up to a machine that would inflict great amounts of pain to it, but would not kill it. But I fucked up and now we have 209-J. Yes, you all probably hate me now. Do I care? No, I hate you all as well."//

Dr. Jacob Gilford was put on a one-week disciplinary leave for this.

[[footnoteblock]]
[[=]]
,,**<< [[[SCP-208-J]]] | SCP-209-J | [[[deleted:scp-210-j]]] >>**,,
[[/=]]

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SCP-209-J

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