Link to article: SCP-2416.
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[[>]] [[module Rate]] [[/>]] **Item #:** SCP-2416 **Object Class:** Euclid **Special Containment Procedures:** The current instance of SCP-2416 (now SCP-2416-21) is to be kept in a drug-induced coma at Site-59 and monitored for vital signs. If SCP-2416-21 dies for any reason, Mobile Task Force Omicron-8 "Send In The Clowns" is to be placed on high alert, and the replacement instance is to be apprehended and contained in the same manner as soon as possible. **Description:** SCP-2416 refers to multiple instances of a 35-year-old Caucasian human male named Joseph Grunderson-Pike. Despite having unextraordinary brain activity and no history of neurological disorders, SCP-2416 displays diminished intellectual capacity and a high likelihood of getting into a lethal accident. On 1/14/2006, SCP-2416-1, the original[[footnote]] Insofar as the Foundation is aware; the likelihood of previous instances has not been ruled out. [[/footnote]] instance, was killed after walking onto an expressway in Chicago. This was not believed to have been suicide; shortly before it was struck by a speeding minivan, its last words were reportedly "Hey, this isn't State street!" SCP-2416-1 had funeral services, was cremated, and its death was reported in multiple Chicago newspapers. On 3/15/2006, a living instance of SCP-2416, SCP-2416-2, was stabbed to death in Omaha after it tied a convicted murderer's shoelaces together for a prank. SCP-2416-2 was determined by law enforcement officials to be an outsider with no friends or relations in Omaha and was buried. It is unknown how a new instance of SCP-2416 appears after the death of a previous instance. The latest instance always claims to have no recollection of having died at all, and has passed multiple polygraph tests while giving this testimony. The origin point of a "reincarnated" instance has never been successfully located, and all sightings of SCP-2416 instances have been after-the-fact. ||~ Instance ||~ Cause of Death ||~ Comments || || SCP-2416-3 || Overconsumption of pepper sauce. || Witnesses report that SCP-2416-3 was attempting to become "the spiciest". || || SCP-2416-4|| Head split in half with a table saw. || Last words were reportedly "gimme a kiss". || || SCP-2416-5 || Mauled by a puma. || Had covered self in uncooked bacon in a zoo puma habitat on a dare. || || SCP-2416-6 || Rattlesnake bite. || Last words were reportedly "gimme a kiss". || || SCP-2416-7 || Slept in the center of a freeway. || Was "tired". || || SCP-2416-8 || [REDACTED] || The badgers suffered only minor injuries. || || SCP-2416-9 || Shot by Chilean anarchists. || Last words were reportedly "gimme a kiss". || || SCP-2416-10 || Subjected to voluntary human experimentation by Church of the Broken God scientists; ultimate cause of death was cranial hemorrhage. || Corpse was discovered by the Foundation in a raid on the CotBG compound; Dr. ███████ reported corpse's resemblance to an urban legend about a man who comes back from the dead. || || SCP-2416-11 || Attempted to climb the side of the Chrysler Building without proper equipment. || Reports of death confirmed anomalous properties; Dr. ███████ orders the capture of SCP-2416. || || SCP-2416-12 || Cocaine overdose. || Believed it would alleviate sinus congestion. || || SCP-2416-13 || Alcohol poisoning. || Believed it would "lubricate" a broken arm. || || SCP-2416-14 || Exsanguinated after shoving a foot into a blender. || Circumstances unknown. || || SCP-2416-15 || Shot by Site-59 security personnel for accessing a STURM-class infohazard. || This iteration was the first to come under Foundation custody. || || SCP-2416-16 || Choked on food rations at Site-59. || "Really liked" oatmeal. || || SCP-2416-17 || Head fracture from slamming own head on wall of its cell. || Was attempting to swat a fly. || || SCP-2416-18 || Climbed into Site-59 incinerator. || Was looking for a bathroom. || || SCP-2416-19 || Gained access to a lethal cognitohazard. || Was "just curious." || || SCP-2416-20 || Overdose of Acetaminophen at Site-59. || See below. || > **Interviewed:** SCP-2416-20 > > **Interviewer:** Dr. Ichinose > > <Begin Log> > > **Dr. Ichinose:** Please state your name for the record, SCP-2416-20. > > **SCP-2416-20:** Joe Grunderson-Pike. I got a quick question before we get started. > > **Dr. Ichinose:** Yes? > > **SCP-2416-20:** What did you say was the normal amount of those pills you gave me to take for a headache? > > **Dr. Ichinose:** Two tablets. > > **SCP-2416-20:** Wow. Yeah, that... That actually makes a lot more sense. > > [SCP-2416-20, having consumed 203 tablets of extra-strength Tylenol from the Breach desk storage bin, falls unconscious] > > **Dr. Ichinose:** Medic! > > <End Log> > > **Closing Statement:** SCP-2416-20 died shortly thereafter. SCP-2416-21 was later found wandering the streets of San Francisco and apprehended. [[footnoteblock]] [[div class="footer-wikiwalk-nav"]] [[=]] << [[[SCP-2415]]] | SCP-2416 | [[[SCP-2417]]] >> [[/=]] [[/div]] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]] ===== ===== [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]