Link to article: SCP-273-J.
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[[>]] [[module Rate]] [[/>]] **Item #:** SCP-273-J **Object Class:** Safe **Special Containment Procedures:** All cans of SCP-273-J are to be seized from commercial retail locations, and every new shipment of SCP-273-J is to be automatically redirected to the Foundation[[footnote]]Under the pseudonym of the "Food and Beverage Safety Inspection Agency". [[/footnote]] and stored in Locker-811, located in Sub-Level 73C in Site-198. D-Class personnel, janitors, and dehydrated individuals are not allowed to enter Locker-811 under any circumstances. All personnel are additionally advised that they are not to drink SCP-273-J under any circumstances, including the circumstances in which they are dehydrated, thirsty, or have spent more than 2-3 days in a desert environment without replenishing their personal drink supplies. **Description:** SCP-273-J refers to a series of canned fruit juices sold under the name 'Freezies'. A can of SCP-273-J is marked with the brand name 'Freezies', accompanied by the sentence, 'It's Freezingly Good!', on the side of the can. SCP-273-J is sold in several different flavours[[footnote]] Different flavours do not seem related to different effects on humans.[[/footnote]] : Apple, Orange, Pear, Peach, and Mango. No manufacturer's logo or name can be seen on the can itself. Once a can of SCP-273-J is consumed by a human, SCP-273-J will drastically lower the temperature of the individual's body parts and organs to one below -1 degrees Celsius in a span of about an hour, slowing all body parts and organs to an almost-complete standstill and achieving an effect similar to the effects of cryogenic freezing. However, the human still exhibits signs of life, which include a slow, rhythmic beating of the heart, slight movements in the facial region, and attempts to communicate while speaking around a frozen tongue. On May 15, 20██, at approximately 1545 hours, D-6745 (designated SCP-273-J-1) was in the process of transporting a carton of SCP-273-J to Locker-811 when he reportedly 'felt thirsty'. After he noted that there were no other available ways for him to quench his thirst, D-6745 consumed a can of peach-flavoured SCP-273-J. By 1615 hours, D-6745 had experienced the full effects of SCP-273-J, and had become frozen in place in Sub-Level 20B in Site-198. Researchers assigned to SCP-273-J attempted to interview D-6745 a few hours after he was frozen, only to obtain information described by the researchers as 'pure nonsense'. Following the conclusion of the interview, D-6745 proceeded to be subjected to experimentation attempting to reverse the effects of SCP-273-J. (See Addendum 273-A) ----- > **Interview Log 1:** > > **Interviewer:** Doctor Reese Martens, head researcher of SCP-273-J > **Interviewed:** D-6745 (Charlie Blackwell), also known as SCP-273-J-1 > **Date:** May 16, 20██, 1443 hours > **Venue:** Between the break room and the bathrooms, Sub-Level 20B, Site-198 > > **Note:** //All dialogue from the interviewed subject has been roughly translated to English.// > > //RM:// Can you hear me, SCP-273-J-1? Can you hear me? > > //CB:// hieuyeuifjb jhsxkushhsi hhsuhihoi hushwhs whweue suioddjcpdjedehh (Translated: I can hear you. Please don't refer to me as SCP-273-J-1, please.) > > //RM:// Why did you drink a can of SCP-273-J, even though you knew its effects? > > //CB:// ycduyfctehuhh (Translated: I was thirsty.) > > //RM:// We're going to have to find a way to reverse the effects of SCP-273-J on you. Do you mind if we do a couple of tests on you? > > //CB:// wyedguwegc jexwjebej shwh hsdhuiucgi!!!!! cugugedugcogc!!!!! ffiudopupu cgfsfgdifguiegigig!!!!! (Translated: Sure, why not.) ----- **Addendum 273-A:** //List of attempts to reverse effects of SCP-273-J on D-6745// > **__Attempt 1:__** > > **Idea suggested by:** D-1568 > > **Proposal Status:** Approved > > **Details:** 2 gallons of boiling hot water were poured into D-6745's mouth and down his throat. > > **Results:** No physical change was observed in D-6745. > __**Attempt 2:**__ > > **Idea suggested by:** D-1678 > > **Proposal Status:** Approved > > **Details:** 2 gallons of boiling hot chocolate were poured into D-6745's mouth and down his throat. > > **Results:** No physical change was observed in D-6745. Subject mumbled that the “hot chocolate was delicious”. > __**Attempt 3:**__ > > **Idea suggested by:** D-3678 > > **Proposal Status:** Approved > > **Details:** 2 gallons of boiling hot coffee were poured into D-6745's mouth and down his throat. > > **Results:** No physical change was observed in D-6745. A sound similar to that of groaning was heard from subject, and subsequently, subject mumbled that he “hated coffee”. > __**Attempt 4:**__ > > **Idea suggested by:** Doctor Cassidy > > **Proposal Status:** Approved > > **Details:** Doctor Cassidy kissed D-6745 fully on the lips. > > **Results:** No physical change was observed in D-6745, apart from a slight red discolouration on his cheeks. > __**Attempt 5:**__ > > **Idea suggested by:** D-1765 > > **Proposal Status:** Approved > > **Details:** D-6745 was placed inside a sauna and left there for 12 hours. > > **Results:** No physical change was observed in D-6745. > __**Attempt 6:**__ > > **Idea suggested by:** D-4357 > > **Proposal Status:** Approved > > **Details:** D-6745 was placed inside a powered tanning bed and left there for 12 hours. > > **Results:** No physical change or change in skin complexion was observed in D-6745. > __**Attempt 7:**__ > > **Idea suggested by:** D-7898 > > **Proposal Status:** Approved (with reluctance) > > **Details:** D-6745 was placed inside a cremation oven and left there for 12 hours. > > **Results:** No physical change was observed in D-6745. Subject mumbled that he 'did not want to go in there again'. > __**Attempt 8:**__ > > **Idea suggested by:** D-4514 > > **Proposal Status:** Approved > > **Details:** D-6745 was slowly roasted over an open fire for 24 hours. > > **Results:** No physical change was observed in D-6745. Subsequently, researchers remarked that subject smelled 'tasty'. > __**Attempt 9:**__ > > **Idea suggested by:** D-987 > > **Proposal Status:** --Denied-- Approved > > **Details:** 50 crushed Carolina Reapers were stuffed into D-6745's mouth at once. > > **Results:** No physical change was observed in D-6745. Carolina Reapers fished out of subject's mouth with difficulty. > __**Attempt 10:**__ > > **Idea suggested by:** D-3456 > > **Proposal Status:** Denied > > **Proposed Idea:** D-6745 was to be dropped into the Sun and fished out afterwards. > > **Rejection Reason:** Too expensive. > __**Attempt 11:**__ > > **Idea suggested by:** Doctor ██████ > > **Proposal Status:** --Denied-- --Approved-- --Denied!-- //Approved!!!! - Doctor ██████// > > **Details:** The ██████ was poured down D-6745's throat. > > **Results:** A noise similar to that of screaming was heard from D-6745 for 12 continuous hours. D-6745's body broke in half approximately eleven hours into the screaming, and both halves subsequently spontaneously caught fire. The entire process lasted for approximately 48 hours, before both flaming halves of D-6745's body spontaneously exploded. > > **End Note 1:** //Holy// [DATA EXPUNGED]. //Well, that takes care of one problem. - Doctor Reese Martens// > **End Note 2:** //Experiments to attempt to reverse SCP-273-J's effects on D-6745 have been postponed. - Doctor Reese Martens// > **End Note 3:** //On the other hand, experiments to attempt to clean bits of D-6745 off the floor of Site-198 have been opened! Cast your proposals today!- Doctor Reese Martens// ----- [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]] [!-- N/A (No Images) --] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]