SCP-2755

Link to article: SCP-2755.

Module Styles

• (none)

Inline Styles

• (none)

Includes

• :scp-wiki:component:license-box [info]
• :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end [info]

CSS Classes

• footer-wikiwalk-nav

Page Source

[[>]]
[[module Rate]]
[[/>]]

**Item #:** SCP-2755

**Object Class:** Safe

**Special Containment Procedures:** SCP-2755 is to be stored in a standard biological item vault outfitted with a drain for excess fluids.

**Description:** SCP-2755 is the corpse of Finnegan █████, a comedy writer noted for a family-friendly series of joke books, [REDACTED]. The corpse itself is effectively affixed to the couch supporting it. Of particular note is its position; its right hand holds a shot glass under SCP-2755's mouth. Discharging from the mouth at 0.5 mL/hour is isopropyl alcohol, which drips into the shot glass. When overfilled, and the alcohol reaches a suitable material, most additional alcohol evaporates. The remaining alcohol proceeds to cover the material's surface and etches a random pun from one of the writer's books, as well as a typically cynical addition. See Addendum for transcripts. 

__**Addendum A: Transcript of Etchings**__
> Why did the cow not want to go to school? Because it had recently mooved! 
> 
> ... Just like I did for this shitty job in Loserville, Nowhere.                                                                  

>
> How do dolphins like their soda pop? Bottled!
> 
> Just like my whiskey, acetaminophen, and rage.

>
> What did the archaeologist say when he accidentally broke an artifact? "I owe you guys an anthrApology."
> 
> ... I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Forgive me.

[[footnoteblock]]

[[div class="footer-wikiwalk-nav"]]
[[=]]
<< [[[SCP-2754]]] | SCP-2755 | [[[SCP-2756]]] >>
[[/=]]
[[/div]]

[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]]
[!-- N/A (No Images)  --]
[[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]