Link to article: SCP-3234.
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[[>]] [[module Rate]] [[/>]] **Item #:** SCP-3234 **Object Class:** Keter **Special Containment Procedures:** Priority is to immediately quarantine and transport individuals experiencing the effects of SCP-3234 to the nearest Foundation site equipped for humanoid containment. MTF ETA-62 "White Noise" has been established as of ██/██/██, with a mission to quickly locate and limit SCP-3234’s spread through the general populace.[[footnote]] Candidates for MTF ETA-62 are to be screened prior to recruitment. Candidates with a resulting history of depression or similar mental health issues are non-eligible. [[/footnote]] Once contained, instances of SCP-3234-1 are to be monitored for signs of the final stages of SCP-3234. If an instance is found to be in the later stages, protocol is immediate termination. Instances of SCP-3234-1 found early enough are to maintain sessions with a Foundation therapist three times a week, or as mandated by the Site Director, with follow up tests performed by a psychiatrist. Instances are under no circumstances to be exposed to negative stimuli. If an instance of SCP-3234-1 has recovered from the effects of SCP-3234, they are to be administered a Class-A amnestic and reintroduced to the general population with an appropriate cover story as per standard protocols. Foundation personnel are then to be stationed in the vicinity of multiple SCP-3234-1 instances, to ease further monitoring. They are to maintain these positions until the predicted chance of a resurgence of SCP-3234 is minimal. > //I want to be very clear with the protocols put into place to surveil the instances of SCP-3234-1. This is not a babysitting position, and it does not give agents tasked with observation the ability to disregard their other responsibilities. This position is to maintain a regular surveillance presence in case there is a relapse. At this time it’s not a realistic solution to keep the █████ affected individuals in on-site containment, and I will not entertain the notion of terminating them. If you find yourself on this assignment, consider it like any other surveillance operation. You watch, and you report if there are any abnormalities in behaviour. The only difference is proximity to your target.// – Dr. Vaile @@ @@ **Description:** SCP-3234 is an anomalous instance of a dissociative disorder that affects individuals with a highly negative sense of self, who desire to cease interactions with society. SCP-3234-1 is the designation for any subject affected by SCP-3234. Severity of SCP-3234 symptoms are directly proportional to the intensity of SCP-3234-1's stressful or negative thoughts. Symptoms of SCP-3234 surface as a diminished memory and the sensation of losing time. SCP-3234-1‘s ability to communicate is heavily impaired due to an inability to grasp thoughts accurately, causing unconventional speech patterns and the repetition of phrases. [A detailed example is shown within the attached document “Subject 1A session log-1”.] In advanced stages of SCP-3234, Subjects affected by SCP-3234 will gradually become covered in a visual effect that resembles video noise. An instance of SCP-3234 will start to see their surroundings as dim and monochromatic, even if there are ample sources of light in the area. Instances will exhibit a similar case of colourlessness as they become grey and lose any defining features. The visual noise first occurs in the eyes, and then gradually spreads across the subject’s body. SCP-3234-1’s body begins to be replaced by the visual noise approximately twenty-seven hours after SCP-3234-1 is fully covered. Instances do not respond to stimuli at this point, and the process is thought to be non-painful. Once the visual noise has completely engulfed SCP-3234-1, the subject will dissipate. > //As many of you reading this are well aware, previous attempts at understanding and halting the progression of SCP-3234 have proven fruitless. I was shocked at the level of carelessness in the handling of [http://www.scp-wiki.net/shards-and-static previous SCP-3234-1 subjects]. So far we’ve had ███ subjects become unrecoverable. This is an unacceptable amount given the information we should be using to halt their progression. So, as of ██/██/██, I have taken up the responsibility of figuring out the best course of action to take, and so far these efforts have proven enlightening. I’ve taken the liberty of adding some of the sessions with a typical subject with SCP-3234 in Dr. Welligo's examination. My hope is to provide a basis for how the treatment of these instances should be handled in the future. – Dr. Vaile// @@ @@ **Addendum-3234-A: Subject retrieval and examination.** SCP-3234-1A was brought to the attention of Foundation personnel when civilians of ██████, Oregon had reported sightings of a grey skinned humanoid inside an apartment complex. MTF ETA-62 was dispatched for containment. 1A was found, though showed no response to the agent’s entrance. Initial interactions consisted of garbled and incoherent speech from 1A. 1A had significant progression of SCP-3234’s physical symptoms. A cursory search of the apartment indicated that 1A had been dealing with SCP-3234 for an extended period of time. 1A showed no resistance to transportation to Site-██. During transport, agents described 1A as becoming more coherent through consistent conversation. Between the time of retrieval and the subsequent containment of 1A, the progression of SCP-3234 had lessened to the degree that Dr. Vaile could communicate with it. 1A had so far complied with the treatment plan with little reservation. 1A was sent to Dr. Welligo for examination. > > **Name:** Elijah ████ > **Designation:** Subject 3234-1A > **Age:** Twenty-eight > **Sex:** Male > > > **SCP-3234 progression:** > SCP-3234-1A exhibited symptoms common to early-middle stages of SCP-3234. > > **Initial symptoms of SCP-3234:** > Skin, irises and hair have small amounts of coloration remaining, with the majority being grey. SCP-3234-1A does not remember how long they have been experiencing these effects. Despite their memory impairments, they have been able to retain the knowledge that they are undergoing treatment for a mental illness. 1A has also exhibited an impairment of verbalising his thoughts, to the point of slurred and repetitive speech. > > **Treatment:** > Three therapy sessions weekly with a qualified Foundation therapist, with weekly follow up tests by either me or another qualified psychiatrist. > > **Current status:** > SCP-3234-1A has complied with the therapy regiment. As of ██/██/██ signs of SCP-3234 effects have lessened significantly. Pending final evaluations, 1A is to be administered a class-A amnestic and returned to the general population with undercover surveillance. > > > > > [[collapsible show="+ Open 1A-Session-1" hide="- Close 1A-Session-1"]] > **//Subject 1A session log-1//** > > **Therapist:** Dr. Vaile > > **Forward:** First meeting with Elijah since retrieval. Adjustments to his new environment, particularly periods of isolation in containment, seem to have aggravated the symptoms of SCP-3234. Despite this, he remains co-operative with ongoing treatment. > > **<Begin Log, [██/██/██]>** > > > **Dr. Vaile:** Hello Elijah, are you feeling better now? > > **Elijah:** I think I can talk now. I don’t know about the feeling better part though. > > **Dr. Vaile:** Why is that, Elijah? > > **Elijah:** Well…Is, is this normal? > > //[Elijah scratches his arm, small flickers of visual noise are visible on his skin.]// > > **Dr. Vaile:** For the illness that you have, yes. It means that it’s progressing. I wouldn’t worry too much about that right now, you just started treatment, right? > > **Elijah:** I guess so yeah, I… wanna get better. > > **Dr. Vaile:** I’d like to see you get better too, how about we start with talking about how you’re doing right now, what’s on your mind? > > **Elijah:** On my mind? A lot of things. It’s all a bit… it’s a bit overwhelming, trying to put everything into place in my head. I woke up and forgot that I was here. > > **Dr. Vaile:** And that happens often, right? The forgetting part. > > **Elijah:** Yeah, well it’s not really forgetting I guess. It’s more like, I have to try to put it together, if that makes sense? I remember this place, I remember a lot of things but it just feels… distant. Like I was here, but when I was here is another story. It’s, I guess, Hard to explain. > > **Dr. Vaile:** I can get a pretty good idea, Elijah, of what you’re going through. What thoughts that you’re having may be causing issues? > > **Elijah:** Oh , yeah. It’s just… It’s stupid. I don’t even know why I can’t shake it out of my head. Everything else feels like a broken puzzle but certain things… They stick out, you know? It’s like, they’re sharp when everything else is muddy and dull. > > **Dr. Vaile:** And what are those thoughts? > > **Elijah:** Laura. I remember Laura. Pieces, like a name. I remember hating myself but I don’t know why. I don’t know, I just can’t remember much. > > **Dr. Vaile:** Who is Laura? > > //[Elijah rests his head on his palm. He breaks eye contact with Dr. Vaile for an extended period before continuing.]// > > **Elijah:** Laura is my sister. Well, no that’s not right. We grew up together. She lived next door, I remember that really clearly, I think. She would always come over, basically my sister. > > **Dr. Vaile:** What is it about Laura that sticks out so clearly to you? > > **Elijah:** Just… Her, I guess? It’s getting…getting hard to remember her face though. The more I think about her the blurrier the memories get. Like they’re moving away from me? I just, I don’t understand. I can feel this weight and her name but that’s, that’s all I can remember. > > **Dr. Vaile:** With your illness, memories might not come as easily to you. It’s alright, just tell me what you do remember. > > **Elijah:** I remember her smile, I think I do at least. Everything else is white. It feels like a dream and it’s just her smiling. It’s a shock when I try to think of her. Like, that jolt you get when you wake up from a nightmare. I know something’s wrong but she’s, she’s smiling and I’m not sure why I don’t like it. There’s something missing now that was there before. I can’t remember anything else, God why can’t I remember? > > **Dr. Vaile:** It’s the illness, AI, it’s going to be hard to remember things. > > **Elijah:** Just the illness? I don’t know… I feel like I’ve dealt with this… for a long time and it just, I don’t know why I hate this feeling. I don’t want to remember anymore. How long have we been talking about this? Is it time for me to go yet? > > //[Elijah appears to be crying, although no facial indicators of sadness other than watering of the eyes are visible.]// > > **Dr. Vaile:** That’s all right, It’s all right Elijah. We’ve only been talking about this for a short time, why don’t we talk about something else? What’s something you do want to talk about then? > > **Elijah:** something I do want to talk about? I uh… can I get more lights. In my room I mean, it’s pretty dark. That’s… that’s all I can think of right now. > > **Dr. Vaile:** It’s dark in your room? > > **Elijah:** Yeah, well it’s dark everywhere really. When I first got here it wasn’t this dark, maybe the lights are dimming or something. > > **Dr. Vaile:** I’ll look into that, Elijah. And I want to say that I’m glad you’re opening up about this. I want to help you, Elijah, Help you through this. > > **Elijah:** Thanks… It’s just hard to… to do much right now. I feel like my energy is being sucked out of me every time I try to think about anything solid. It’s like grasping at air, it takes a lot of effort. I just don’t know if I have that much effort to give. > > **Dr. Vaile:** Well I think that’s a sign that the illness hasn’t completely taken over. You’re fighting, and that’s good. I’m alright with ending this session here if that’s what you want to do. > > **Elijah:** Thanks, yeah I think that’s a good idea. > > **Dr. Vaile:** And remember, if you need anything my office is open for you. Just keep trying, I’ll help you fight this as long as you can promise me you’ll try too. > > **Elijah:** I will. And yeah, I might take you up on that… It gets… bad, sitting around, being like…like this for reasons I don’t even know. > > **Dr. Vaile:** I hope you do. > > //[Session one ends early, Dr. Vaile leads Elijah out of the office.]// > > <End Log> > > > [[/collapsible]] > > [[collapsible show="+ Open 1A-Session-2" hide="- Close 1A-Session-2"]] > **//Subject 1A session log-2//** > > **Therapist:** Dr. Vaile > > **Forward:**Elijah came for a session earlier than scheduled. Physical signs of SCP-3234 are more visible than before. His mental state appears less stable than previous sessions. > > **<Begin Log, [██/██/██]>** > > > **Elijah:** Hey, Doctor Vaile. I wanted to uh, talk to you if this is a good time? > > **Dr. Vaile:** Of course, like I said in our last session, if you wanted to talk about something my door is always open. > > **Elijah:** Thanks yeah I uh… I just wanted to get some thoughts out, see if you could… make sense of them? I don’t know why but those memories we talked about before, I can’t get them out of my mind. It’s like when I close my eyes it’s all I can see. Before, it hurt to even try to remember them. I shut them out and just sat on my own, letting the world go by while I stayed still. I still feel that… that stagnation, but now, well… it still hurts but I want to try? I don’t know how to explain it. > > **Dr. Vaile:** Of course, Elijah. We can talk about anything you want to, what about that memory have you been thinking of? > > **Elijah:** I think I know why I’ve been feeling so down lately. I can’t really put my finger on it, and it’s not exactly about the memory. It’s more about, how do I explain this? It’s like I’ve been thinking of… thinking of thinking about it? I don’t know how to like, express that but yeah. > > **Dr. Vaile:** What about that did you want to get off your chest? > > **Elijah:** Like, I think I’ve been feeling down because of something, right? There has to be… there has to be a reason why I’m feeling so shitty about myself. Like the only time I can think clearly is when I’m hurting, when I remember…Laura. Laura and her smile, and the… the feeling of being isolated I don’t quite understand. > > **Dr. Vaile:** So you think that that memory has something to do with your illness? > > **Elijah:** Yeah, I guess yes. I remember… not being like this. I didn’t feel…drained, When I was with Laura. I want to piece it together but I don’t know how. Sitting in that room… Just thinking and spinning in my own head and the only thought I can grasp that doesn’t fade out of sight is that one. > > **Dr. Vaile:** That’s a good sign, Elijah. Talking about this seems to be stirring your mind in the right direction. Does it still feel like a broken puzzle now? I remember you talking about not remembering more than her smile, has that changed since we last talked? > > **Elijah:** It’s sort of still a broken puzzle. Like, I hear sounds that don’t fit and I remember colours that I don’t… I don’t know why I remember them. But it’s like something is there, and if I just…just keep talking it might get clearer for me. > > **Dr. Vaile:** That’s another good sign. I think I might be getting an idea as to what may be the root of this, segmentation of your memories. I’d like to hear more about Laura, I know last time it was a tough subject but I’m hoping that you feel like we can power through that together. What do you think? > > **Elijah:** Yeah, Yes I want to. Well, I think that’s not quite right actually. I don’t want to, but I feel like I need to? Like somethings stuck in my throat, waiting to get out. > > **Dr. Vaile:** Whenever you feel ready, I’m here to listen. > > //[Dr. Vaile takes a box of tissues off of the table and places it in front of Elijah.]// > > **Elijah:** Alright. I think…Yeah I’m ready. So, what I’ve put together so far… the last time I saw her. No that’s… No that’s not quite right I think, it wasn’t the last time? I think it was one of the last times I saw her. I remember being with her and watching her look over at me with that smile. It still…goes white after that but I remember that I was with her. I don’t know if that’s right, either, but it feels like it makes sense. > > **Dr. Vaile:** And that’s when the pain comes back, right Elijah? > > **Elijah:** Yeah. And the bright flash of colours, and the loud sounds…They all come around then but I can’t put it together. It’s like I have all of these things that should fit but I just can’t see how they connect. > > **Dr. Vaile:** I have a question about that. I have a feeling that it might… //[Dr. Vaile pauses briefly.]// It might not be that you can’t put them together. I just wanted to know if it’s possible that you instead are forcing yourself to, not put it together. I get the feeling that there might be some part of you wants you to not remember. Does that make sense to you? > > **Elijah:** I… //[Elijah pauses, looking down at his feet momentarily before gathering his composure.]// …You think so? That I’m…I’m holding it back? > > **Dr. Vaile:** I think that might be the case, not consciously, but you could be internalising it to the point that it’s effecting you on a large scale. Does that sound like it might be correct, Elijah? > > **Elijah:** I think… I think it might be. But, I don’t understand. Because, I want to remember, right? I’m trying and…not remembering is dull… and remembering is painful. Why would I, why would my brain do that? > > **Dr. Vaile:** That, Elijah, is what I think we should focus on finding out. I think whatever it is that you’ve been keeping deep down is the cause of this Illness. > > //[Elijah crosses his arms on his lap and lays his head down. Crying can be heard from him as Dr. Vaile leans in.]// > > **Dr. Vaile:** //[There’s a silence of 20 seconds before the Dr. Vaile speaks]// Elijah? Are you with me? > > **Elijah:** I can’t… it hurts so bad I want it to just stop. I don’t know what to do. I try to be strong, I try to think and think and it just keeps coming up blank. God, her smile… I don’t… Why does remembering her smile make me feel so alone? It doesn’t make sense. It’s digging into my stomach and I don’t know what to do. Before, everything was a haze and I forgot… I missed days and weeks at a time. Everything was the same, everything blended together and I didn’t feel… I didn’t feel a thing. > > //[Elijah pauses, still audibly crying. He sits back up, places his hands over his eyes and laughs.]// > > **Elijah:** But now it just hurts. It’s more painful. I forget how long I’ve been in this…place. I forget things about who I am. I feel like I’m breaking. I feel like I’m waving in this gust of wind and being split apart. Then I see her… her smiling and then my chest aches. I feel so… lost. When I try to remember why… When I try to remember anything after her smile I just… I don’t know how long I forgot about her. I’m missing… I’m missing so much and I’m having trouble expressing that emptiness. > > //[Dr. Vaile puts her hand on Elijah’s shoulder.]// > > **Dr. Vaile:** Elijah, I want you to listen to me, okay? What you just told me… that was the strongest reaction you’ve shown yet. It may hurt, but I think as long as we try to avoid that pain it’ll keep getting stronger. You’re strong, Elijah. I want to help you face that pain and overcome it, and I think you can. > > **Elijah:** I…I want to… Laura was my best friend. But why did I forget her face for so long? And why does it hurt to remember it? It’s like I’m being woken up before the end of a dream. > > **Dr. Vaile:** I want to find out with you. Let’s end this session here, and come back to this next week. I’m very proud of the progress you’ve made so far. You’ve opened up so much, and I can feel us getting closer to the source of this frustration for you. > > **Elijah:** Yeah I’m… I’m really tired right now. I need some time to try to… to try to piece this together. > > **Dr. Vaile:** Of course, that’s what I’m here for, to help you get through this. It will be tough, Elijah, but I know you can pull through this. > > **Elijah:** Thanks, I’m uh… I’m going to go get some rest. > > < End Log> > > **Note:** //I think this is an important turning point in Elijah’s treatment. The more I can get him to open up, the closer I believe we are to understanding what has caused his dissociative state. If we can pinpoint the memory that Elijah is suppressing we can unlock that lost time, and hopefully the other pieces will fall into place. Causing Elijah to come to terms and work through that is the next step. I don’t know if effects from SCP-3234 will become worse at that point, but it’s a definite possibility. –Dr. Vaile// > > > [[/collapsible]] > > [[collapsible show="+ Open Dr.Welligo evaluation" hide="- Close Dr.Welligo evaluation"]] > //Before the third session with 1A, they were found in their room, there was significant visual noise present on their face and torso. 1A was immediately brought in for examination at this point. Their eyes had shown slight amounts of visual noise, which was a major concern that 1A was devolving into the final stages. Dr. Vaile had tried to converse with 1A, though their ability to communicate had deteriorated significantly. The loss of time, fragmented memories and a general unfocused thinking pattern have intensified. I’ve been informed by Dr. Vaile that this isn’t necessarily a worst case scenario and I’ll defer to her judgement in regards to treatment. –Dr.Welligo// > > [[/collapsible]] > > > [[collapsible show="+ Open 1A-Session-3" hide="- Close 1A-Session-3"]] > **//Subject 1A session log-3//** > > **Therapist:** Dr. Vaile > > **Forward:** Elijah’s symptoms have become increasingly agitated. This session is a critical point in determining the effectiveness of therapy as a means to halt and reverse SCP-3234. While the risk is still severe, attempting to reverse the symptoms from this point onward could lead to discovering the cause of Elijah’s disassociation. > > Elijah’s speech was heavily impaired. Instances of voice distortion have been recorded and Elijah’s intended speech will be denoted by italics. > > **<Begin Log, [██/██/██]>** > > **Dr. Vaile:** Elijah? Are you with me right now? > > **Elijah:** //[No response. Elijah stares with a blank expression towards the ceiling.]// > > **Dr. Vaile:** Elijah I need you to focus on me, Elijah? Can you hear my voice? > > **Elijah:** //[Elijah clears his throat. The sound of white noise can be heard during this.]// Why am I here? > > **Dr. Vaile:** You’re here because you’re sick, Elijah. Do you remember, coming here for treatment? > > **Elijah:** You sound weird. //Everything// sounds a bit //weird// right now. > > **Dr. Vaile:** How do I sound to you? > > **Elijah:** Like you’re //yelling// down a well. Why do I //have// to be here? > > **Dr. Vaile:** Like I said before Elijah, you’re here for treatment. > > **Elijah:** You said before? //[Elijah pauses, eyes flicker with visual noise before taking a heavy breath.]// Why am I //here//? > > **Dr. Vaile:** //[Dr. Vaile is quiet for a moment before leaning closer to Elijah.]// Where is here, Elijah? > > **Elijah:** Here? I was at //home// a second ago. Wasn’t I? //I don’t want to be there//, either. Or am I at home right now… where am I? > > **Dr. Vaile:** //[Dr. Vaile puts her hands on the sides of Elijah’s head and moves his head to force eye contact.]// Treatment. > > **Elijah:** Treatment? //I thought that was a dream//. Your face, I can’t put your face it together. //Do I know you?// I can’t remember your face, I keep seeing faces in my mind and I can’t find their names. It’s hard to see. Everything’s so //dark// I might know your face, but I can’t tell. > > **Dr. Vaile:** What’s the last thing you remember? > > **Elijah:** The last thing //I remember?// It all feels so far away. //I don’t feel like//… going after them. > > **Dr. Vaile:** Going after what? > > **Elijah:** //Anything//. It’s all drifting out of reach. I tried chasing them for so long. It’s //empty// now. > > **Dr. Vaile:** Doctor Vaile. Repeat after me. //[Elijah tries to move out of eye contact, Dr. Vaile doesn’t let go.]// > > **Elijah:** Doctor... Vaile? > > **Dr. Vaile:** My name, is Doctor Vaile. You are here for treatment. > > **Elijah:** Your name is Doctor Vaile. I’m here… //[A brief flicker of visual noise crosses Elijah’s eyes before he begins looking around with a confused expression.]// > > **Dr. Vaile:** …For treatment. > > **Elijah:** Yeah. I can remember it now. //[Elijah lowers his head into his hands. Heavy breathing can be heard.]]// > > **Dr. Vaile:** What happened to you Elijah? > > **Elijah:** I don’t know. I went away. I felt like I was floating for a while. Too much thinking. I didn’t feel like, like myself. It felt like needles. > > **Dr. Vaile:** Are you okay now, Elijah? > > **Elijah:** Yeah, I think I’m… okay right now //[Elijah appears to be half awake at this point.]// > > **Dr. Vaile:** Just remember to keep looking forward. Each day is a new day, it'll get better. > > **Elijah:** I’ve never been very good at looking forward. I shoulda watched... shoulda kept my eyes off you… //[Elijah is assumed to fall asleep due to exhaustion.]// > > //[Dr. Vaile sat in silence for a few minutes before helping Elijah back to his room.]// > > <End Log> > > Notes: //Elijah was monitored for another agitation of SCP-3234 following this session. Symptoms had subsided following my intervention, returning Elijah to a non-critical state. The next session will tell us if this was a step towards a conclusion or a setback in SCP-3234 treatment.//- Dr. Vaile. > > > [[/collapsible]] > > > [[collapsible show="+ Open 1A-Session-4" hide="- Close 1A-Session-4"]] > **//Subject 1A session log-4//** > > **Therapist:** Dr. Vaile > > **Forward:** This is the fourth session with Elijah. The goal of this session will revolve around unpacking the memories of Laura. > > **<Begin Log, [██/██/██]>** > > **Dr. Vaile:** Alright, Elijah are you ready for today? > > **Elijah:** I think so… > > **Dr. Vaile:** You seem to have had some issues while you were alone. The first thing I’d like to know is what happened then? > > **Elijah:** I… I tried to remember as much as I could. I kept forcing it and eventually it was… just really painful. I just… I started to get the feeling that I should just stop trying. I just laid there and I could feel my mind going blank. I felt this… tingling and then I went numb. It was like a dream, I was looking up and I could feel the walls coming in. I could feel that but, I just… I didn’t care? It felt like I was falling, it didn’t feel real. I forget how long I was like that before someone found me. But…I guess I got better, right? > > **Dr. Vaile:** It looks like you did. What do you think stopped you from thinking further? > > **Elijah:** I’m not sure. I felt like I was pushing against my own brain. I couldn’t overpower it. It sucked me in and I just kept falling. > > **Dr. Vaile:** Well, I want to try to dig deeper now. I’ll be here to stop you if you start to feel numb again. I believe you got close then, closer than we have so far. If we push just a little bit more, I think we can find the trigger for your illness Elijah. Do you feel comfortable trying? > > **Elijah:** I think so, what do you want me to do? > > **Dr. Vaile:** Just lay down, Elijah. I want you to close your eyes and think of Laura. > > //[Elijah lays down and closes his eyes. Dr. Vaile leans forward slightly. A few seconds pass before Elijah starts to speak.]// > > **Elijah:** I see her… Laura looking at me. This is when I started feeling sick. I feel it right in my stomach. God It’s churning, somethings spinning it doesn’t feel right. //[Elijah grabs his stomach and winces.]// Why am… I remember why I feel this… why was I looking at her? I shouldn’t have been… I shouldn’t have looked at her. Shit. Shit. It feels…It feels like it’s going faster. My head feels like it’s cracking. > > //[Elijah grabs the sides of his head and squeezes tightly. he sighs and holds his eyes closed tightly. Dr. Vaile puts her hand on his shoulder.]// > > **Dr. Vaile:** That’s good, Elijah. That’s good. Tell me, what is going faster? Why don’t you think you should be looking at her? > > **Elijah:** The car. > > **Dr. Vaile:** The car? > > **Elijah:** I was… I was driving, why was I looking at her? I don’t understand. I see it, the bright light behind her smile. It was sunny out. It was so… so damn bright it hurt my eyes. I wasn’t looking at the road, why was I looking at her? I see it… I… Dammit I saw it coming. I winced and I missed it. I remember her smile. I remember it so clearly and then just a flash. > > **Dr. Vaile:** You were in a car crash, Elijah. Is that what happened? > > **Elijah:** Yeah… I took my eyes off the road for a second. That… //[Elijah hits his chest.]// One second that… felt like forever. > > **Dr. Vaile:** Elijah, It wasn’t your fault. Elijah, I need you to realise it wasn’t your fault. > > *//[Elijah begins to tear up. Gasping noises and shallow breathes can be heard coming from him.]// > > **Elijah:** It was my fault. I didn’t… I remember now. After that, when I woke up and saw what had happened it froze… it all froze. That… [Elijah motions his hand over his chest.] That pang in my heart started. I don’t remember how I got home. I don’t remember what I did for… what feels like a lifetime after. > > **Dr. Vaile:** You shut yourself off, is this when it started? The illness? > > **Elijah:** I think so. I remember the colour draining out of everything. That much I can put together. I didn’t want to do anything. I wanted to forget, I think. I don’t know why, I should have remembered. I think… I think I missed her funeral. I don’t remember going. I shut it all out and… I lost the chance to remember her. > > **Dr. Vaile:** I know this is hard for you Elijah. I know you’ve been holding this in for a long time. But I also know how strong you are, Elijah. You can confront this, it wasn’t your fault. > > //[Elijah begins to laugh, while still crying heavily.]// > > **Elijah:** God dammit. What I would give, right now to feel numb. I just… I can’t. I can’t stop this pain. It was easier to… it was easier to forget. It… //[Stammering through heavy inhales can be heard.]// hurts and I can’t shut it out. > > **Dr. Vaile:** Don’t try to shut it out again, Elijah. You are strong, you can face this. You can remember, and keep remembering. Don’t forget Laura, she wouldn’t want you to forget her, would she Elijah? > > **Elijah:** No, no she wouldn’t. That smile… is the last time I saw her alive. I made a mistake and… Do you think she would forgive me? If she was looking down on me right now, could she forgive me? > > **Dr. Vaile:** I think so, Elijah. I also think, you can forgive yourself. I think you did great today. > > **Elijah:** I think I need to be alone for a bit. I need time to…think. > > **Dr. Vaile:** I understand. I’m glad you were able to remember her, Elijah. I think this is a great step towards overcoming this illness. > > **Elijah:** I hope so. > > //[Elijah spent a few minutes composing himself before leaving the office.]// > > <End Log> > > [[/collapsible]] > > [[collapsible show="+ Open continuation of treatment" hide="- Close continuation of treatment"]] > //The treatment for SCP-3234 in Elijah has so far been a success. After our breakthrough in session four, I was able to get Elijah to open up further. The sessions directly following have shown Elijah to be in a significantly better mental state than at the beginning of treatment. It is my suggestion that Elijah be considered for return to the general population. A Class-A amnestic should be administered. The cover story should be significant therapy sessions about the traumatic experience he had been through that caused disassociation and depression within Elijah. An agent is to be placed in Elijah’s life to act as a friend, to help lessen the chance of a possible relapse. It’s currently believed that Elijah is in complete remission from SCP-3234’s effects and should not be deemed a threat. –Dr. Vaile// > > [[/collapsible]] > > [[footnoteblock]] [[div class="footer-wikiwalk-nav"]] [[=]] << [[[SCP-3233]]] | SCP-3234 | [[[SCP-3235]]] >> [[/=]] [[/div]] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]