Link to article: SCP-3679.
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[[>]] [[module Rate]] [[/>]] **Item #:** SCP-3679 **Object Class:** Safe **Special Containment Procedures:** The kit containing SCP-3679 is to be stored in a standard object containment locker. Tests utilizing SCP-3679 must be carried out or approved by a level 3 researcher assigned to SCP-3679. Investigation into the identity and location of PoI-3679 is currently underway. The online storefront maintained by PoI-3679 is to be monitored and any newly identified customers are to be located and amnesticized after their purchases are confiscated. **Description:** SCP-3679 is an unbranded ballpoint pen purchased online as a part of a writing kit. Chemical analysis shows the contents of SCP-3679 to be natural non-anomalous red ink. Despite this, tests have indicated that any writing done with SCP-3679 results in a blend of ink and the writer's own blood being used; no test subjects have displayed any discomfort or injury that would otherwise explain this, and prolonged use of SCP-3679 has failed to result in any noticeable differences in blood pressure or other such factors. Statements written with SCP-3679 are contractually binding: violating a claim or promise written with SCP-3679 invariably results in the writer's injury or death occurring within the following 24 hours. Causes of death have included non-anomalous factors (e.g. heart failure or accidental death) as well as anomalous factors (e.g. spontaneous human combustion or unprovoked decapitation). Those bound by a contract written with SCP-3679 have an innate understanding of the penalties for violating said contract, and as such, show a notable unwillingness to violate their terms. SCP-3679 was purchased from seller "shadow-queen", designated PoI-3679, through the popular online marketplace Etsy.com after a routine scan indicated potential anomalous activity based on the reviews left on PoI-3679's store. SCP-3679 was originally a part of a kit marketed as a "Do-it-Yourself Geas[[footnote]]**geas** (/geSH/) //noun:// (in Irish folklore) an obligation or prohibition magically imposed on a person.[[/footnote]] Kit", which contained SCP-3679, a pad of fifty non-anomalous sheets of paper, and a note from the seller. [[collapsible show="Document-3679" hide="- close document"]] > Do-it-Yourself Geas Kit > > Tired of broken promises? Rival hero stealing all your thunder? > Create your own geas today! > > Forbid them from cutting their hair, prohibit them from refusing a gift! > Make them do anything you can think of with this simple kit! > All you have to do is get them to sign! > > WARNING: Seller is not responsible for any injury or death caused as a result of this kit. [[/collapsible]] Initial attempts at making contact with PoI-3679 were rejected. After leaving a one-star review of the purchased kit, PoI-3679 initiated correspondence with Senior Researcher Maxwell, head researcher assigned to SCP-3679. [[collapsible show="Chat Log 3679" hide="- close log"]] > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## hey asshole > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## wtf is with the one star rating > **rjmaxwell:** Hello. I'm not sure what you're referring to. > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## look > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## dont play dumb > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## this is because iwas ignoring you right > **rjmaxwell:** Are you referring to the review that was left on your product? > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## uhhhh i literally just said that > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## look buddy > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## im just trying to make a living here > **rjmaxwell:** I see. > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## then take down the review wtf > **rjmaxwell:** That could be arranged, if you're willing to answer a few questions for me. > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## jesus christ this is blackmail > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## you know that right > **rjmaxwell:** Just a few questions. > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## fine just ask the damn questions > **rjmaxwell:** Are you aware of the anomalous properties in the pen you shipped us? > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## uhh > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## thats kind of the point? > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## how useless would a geas pen be if it didn't form a geas lmao > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## look i run an honest business > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## what you see is what you get > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## and its bastards like you that ruin people like me when you leave jank reviews > **rjmaxwell:** I'll remove it after we conclude this interview. > **rjmaxwell:** Follow-up question. Where did you obtain the anomalous pen? > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## i made it > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## you do know how this website works right > **rjmaxwell:** You made the anomalous pen? Would you care to share how you did that? > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## trade secret > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## even if i told you you probably couldnt reproduce it > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## ive been doing this for a while > **rjmaxwell:** And you've sold a lot of pens? > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## enough > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## its not just pens > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## weve got more stuff on the way > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## check out the rest of my shop > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## or actually dont since youll probably leave shitty reviews > **rjmaxwell:** Would you be willing to provide us a list of your customers? > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## no. im pretty sure thats illegal anyway > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## ive got work to do so can we wrap this up > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## im sure youve got other skips to deal with anyway > **rjmaxwell:** What do you mean by "skip"? > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## lol > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## i think were done here > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## dont bother contacting me again > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## unless you want to give me back [http://www.scp-wiki.net/log-of-anomalous-items my spear] > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## and take down that shitty review > ##blue|**shadow-queen:**## or else [[/collapsible]] PoI-3679 ended communication after this, leading Foundation personnel to attempt to track them by IP. After locating an IP address, agents were dispatched with orders to capture PoI-3679 if possible. When agents arrived at the location derived from the traced IP address[[footnote]]Located on the Isle of Skye in Northern Scotland.[[/footnote]], they found only a small copse of trees showing no signs of human habitation. Field agents have been assigned to observe this location until further notice. Any customers that had left reviews on SCP-3679 have been located and amnesticized, with duplicate kits being incinerated. [[footnoteblock]] [[div class="footer-wikiwalk-nav"]] [[=]] << [[[SCP-3678]]] | SCP-3679 | [[[SCP-3680]]] >> [[/=]] [[/div]] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box]] [[include :scp-wiki:component:license-box-end]]