Link to article: SCP-3884.
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[[include info:start]] **SCP-3884:** Gunmetal Gary Puts the Peddle to the Metal **Author:** [[*user CadaverCommander]] **Image Credit:** https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2016/06/30/22/52/truck-1490099_960_720.jpg ----- [[=]] **[http://www.scp-wiki.net/cadavercommander More by this author]** [[/=]] [[include info:end]] [[include :scp-wiki:component:anomaly-class-bar-source |item-number= 3884 |clearance= 2 |container-class= keter |secondary-class= none |disruption-class= keneq |risk-class= danger ]] @@@@ @@@@ [[include component:image-block name=truck.jpg| caption=SCP-3884 in an inactive phase| width=350px ]] **Special Containment Procedures**: SCP-3884 is not physically containable at this time. Secondary containment procedures are considered adequate until a more feasible mechanism for SCP-3884's containment is determined. Mobile Task Force Rho-66 “Road Hogs” will maintain continual ground and aerial patrols of the American Southwest. When alerted by Foundation listening network PANOPTICON, MTF Rho-66 assets will engage SCP-3884. If SCP-3884 is stationed in a heavily-populated area, Foundation assets will establish an observation cordon around SCP-3884 and immediately confiscate any items distributed to the populace by SCP-3884-01 while deflecting local law enforcement involvement. MTF Rho-66 will then track SCP-3884 until it has cleared the population center, then engage. Resultant explosion will be publicly designated a vehicular accident. All civilians and local law enforcement personnel exposed to SCP-3884 will be amnesticized. Under no circumstances are Foundation personnel to attempt to acquire or redeem Civil Defense Points. **Description**: SCP-3884 is a black Industrieverband Fahrzeugbau (IFA) W 50 cab-over truck that displays a number of anomalous properties. SCP-3884's performance capabilities exceed that of a standard cargo truck. It has shown the ability to attain speeds of over 270 kilometers per hour, and exhibits effects characteristic of a Class 2 reality distortion field, including spatiotemporal translocation and the spontaneous manifestation of matter, described in further detail below. [[include component:image-block name=apprehension.JPG| caption=Typical result of SCP-3884 detainment attempt| width=300px ]] SCP-3884 will typically manifest within the outskirts of a population center, then drive to a local gathering point such as a strip mall, market, fairground, parking lot, or downtown area, whereupon SCP-3884-01 will exit the vehicle, lower its rear hatch, and attempt to distribute its wares. If approached by an element that intends to detain or obstruct SCP-3884-01's activities, SCP-3884 will explode, and SCP-3884-01 will vanish. SCP-3884 will then remanifest elsewhere in the southwestern United States after a variable amount of time. SCP-3884-01 visually resembles an emaciated, significantly decomposed humanoid figure, typically wearing a stahlhelm, leather trenchcoat, and combat boots. SCP-3884-01 will [http://www.scp-wiki.net/undead-insane-and-fully-loaded loudly advertise its products] and attempt to give them to any passersby within arm's reach, or simply throw them on the ground in a pile near SCP-3884 in the frequent event that no civilians accept them. These items have thus far included fully-automatic machine guns, high-powered anti-materiel rifles, rocket launchers, flamethrowers, anti-personnel and anti-vehicle mines, and, in one instance, a Nerf brand toy rifle, spray-painted black and given to a small child. Each individual instance of weaponry will have a flyer crudely affixed to it with duct tape. Text follows. [[div style="background:#f2f2f2; margin:36pt; padding:3%;text-align:left;"]] [[=]] + ##green|//IT'S TIME TO LOCK AND LOAD, CITIZENS!//## @@@@ @@@@ ++ ##green|DO YOU WANT TO BE SAFE? DO YOU WANT TO SHOW THOSE BASTARDS HOW TOUGH YOU ARE? ARE YOU AS //FUCKING TERRIFIED// AS I AM? NOW YOU CAN DEFEND YOURSELF AND YOUR LOVED ONES WITH THESE EXCELLENT SHOOTERS AND BLOWEMUPS! I MADE THEM MYSELF AND THEY'RE //REAL GOOD!!!//## @@@@ @@@@ ++++ ##green|THIS IS NOT A DRILL! CIVILIZATION IS UNDER ATTACK //RIGHT NOW// BY SOME //NASTY CHARACTERS THAT ARE DEFINITELY NOT FROM AROUND HERE!// I CAN MAKE THESE THINGS OUT OF THIN AIR LIKE SOME KIND OF GODDAMN //SHOTGUN WIZARD// FOR REASONS THAT ARE BEYOND MY UNDERSTANDING AND I'M //PASSING THE SAVINGS ON TO YOU//!!!## @@@@ ##green|COLLECT ENOUGH CIVIL DEFENSE POINTS AND EARN SOME SUPER SPECIAL PRIZES TO FIGHT THAT EVIL EVEN HARDER! //WHAT ARE CIVIL DEFENSE POINTS YOU ASK???// HERE'S A HANDY LIST TO GET YOU STARTED! HA! HA! HA!## [[/=]] @@@@ @@@@ **Grab a weapon from your pal, Gunmetal Gary!** - 1 point each! ,,“//TO BE FOREARMED IS TO HAVE AT LEAST FOUR KINDS OF ARMS!//”,, **Stop a crime!** - 5 points! ,,“//TAKE THAT, BAD GUYS! NOT IN OUR BACKYARD! EVILDOERS DON'T DESERVE KNEECAPS!//”,, **Muster a militia!** - 20 points! ,,“//LEAD YOUR SQUAD TO VICTORY AGAINST EVIL! IF YOU'RE GOING TO GET EATEN YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO DOWN TOGETHER!//”,, **Neutralize an adversary!** - 30 points! ,,“//YEAH, **FUCK** THAT GUY!//”,, **Slay a beast of the MOTHER** - 50 points! ,,“//SHE'S NOT WELCOME HERE! THE ONLY WAY TO DEFEND YOUR CHILDREN IS BY KILLING HERS!//”,, @@@@ @@@@ ++++ ##green|REDEEM YOUR POINTS FOR AMAZING PRIZES, AND TAKE THE FIGHT TO EVIL'S DOORSTEP! DONT WORRY, FOR SOME REASON I ALREADY KNOW WHERE YOU ARE, AND YOUR PRIZE IS ALREADY ON THE WAY!## **5 points** – Limited edition GUNMETAL GARY body armor! ,,“//MAKE YOUR HIDE AS TOUGH AS STEEL! HECK YEAH! KEEP YOUR GUTS WHERE THE BIG BOSS PUT EM!//”,, **50 points** – One of Gunmetal Gary's patented CREMATOR™ flamethrowers! Three barrels of white-hot justice, fuel canisters included! ,,“//OUR ENEMY DOESN'T FEAR FIRE, BUT IT SURE MAKES ME FEEL BETTER ANYWAY! LIGHT THOSE THINGS UP LIKE A GODDAMN CHRISTMAS TREE! FEEL THE HEAT! WOAH BABY!//”,, **200 points** – 12-pack of Gunmetal Gary's signature PERDITION™ signal grenades! Just pull the pin and throw, and your airstrike is inbound, soldier! Never fear, Gary's got your back! ,,“//LET THEM LOOK UPON THE SKY WITH TERROR! THEY'VE GOT THE OCEANS, BUT THEY SURE AS FUCK CAN'T FLY! YET! JEEPERS WOW!//”,, **500 points** – One IRON DEVASTATOR™ assault vehicle, designed by yours truly! With hardware like this, EVIL doesn't stand a chance! ,,“//**HOLY CRAP LOOK AT THIS HOT MAMA!** YOU ARE HUMANITY'S STEEL-CLAD SALVATION! YOU ARE HEAVY METAL THUNDER! THEY SAID A TANK THE SIZE OF A HOUSE WAS TOO MUCH! **I SAID GO FUCK YOURSELF!**//”,, @@@@ **100,000 points** – You are beyond war. Your time has come. [[/div]] As SCP-3884's activities invariably attract local law enforcement attention, its attempts to supply weaponry to the populace are brief and swiftly interrupted. To date, civilians have reacted negatively to all SCP-3884 appearances and none have willingly accepted any items given by SCP-3884-01. As a result, none have participated in its rewards program, thus information regarding the aforementioned “prizes” is limited. Efforts to successfully detain SCP-3884 or SCP-3884-01 are currently underway. [[footnoteblock]] @@@@ @@@@ [[include component:wikimodule |normal= --]]] @@@@ @@@@ [[div class="footer-wikiwalk-nav"]] [[=]] << [[[SCP-3883]]] | SCP-3884 | [[[SCP-3885]]] >> [[/=]] [[/div]]