SCP-3902

Link to article: SCP-3902.
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|item-number= 3902

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[[include component:image-block
    name=bar|
    caption=Digital recreation of SCP-3902 packaging.|
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**Special Containment Procedures:** All SCP-3902 instances are to be placed in Standard Food Refrigerative Storage. The respective Site Director is to be notified of the manifestation of SCP-3902 in Foundation Sites.
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    caption=Three SCP-3902 instances unwrapped.|
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**Description:** SCP-3902 is a nut and chocolate nutrition bar with packaging resembling an edited version of [http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/classification-committee-memo the Anomaly Classification System]. This packaging advertises SCP-3902 as "anomaly class bar" created by the para-entrepreneur "[http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/dado-hub dado]". 30 minutes after SCP-3902 is fully consumed, the subject will expel a piece of paper from their mouth[[footnote]]Other orifices have been recorded.[[/footnote]] listing several statements about the subject each in a format resembling SCP Foundation Object Class Designation. 

Statements recorded are universally correct and/or will be correct. Once any individual has read the paper fully, several bones, organs, or objects of monetary value present on the subject will disappear. These disappearances are described in the expelled paper. 

**Discovery:** SCP-3902 was discovered after spontaneously replacing Skittles in all Foundation vending machines on 8/22/19. Along with this, a box of 100 SCP-3902 instances was recovered under the desk of Site-81 Director Jean Karlyle Aktus alongside the following note: 

> dear mr blue jeans,
> 
> hello yes i really like the new __object class bar__ (this was link but dado print paper and now it is broke) you have made it is very good. carrier hamster told me all about it. very many lines and words which is good. 
> 
> now, dado was wondering if we can capitalize on the notoriety of it yes. franchise system and make into anomaly class plushie, anomaly class car, anomaly class ladle, many more ideas. dado make the health bar as proof of concept. dado will take payment from people what eat the bars so no worry about cost for u
> 
> i need more franch to franchise so please get to me soon for the talking of business 
> 
> sincerely,
> 
> dado 

SCP-3902 instances were then confiscated and placed into current containment procedures. 

**Addendum:** Test Log

> **Subject:** Researcher Ronald Kaia 
> -------------
> **item #:** 7,203,192,394
> 
> **object class:** euclid
> 
> **distortion class:** not very
> 
> **risk class:** has not gambled
> 
> **organ width:** varied
> 
> **likelihood to eat an entire shoe:** moderate
> 
> **phone class:** iphone air
> 
> **amount of times touched hot stove:** 13
> 
> **average longevity of skin cells:** 2 week
> 
> **marriage class:** a fair
> -----------
> **Closing Statement:** Researcher Kaia immediately attempted to call his wife only to find that his cell phone had disappeared. 

> **Subject:** D-2473
> ------------
> **item #:** #icommited3murders
> 
> **object class:** biology 
> 
> **rits class:** has not eaten the rits cracker
> 
> **aesthetic class:** v a p o r w a v e 
> 
> **organ width:** does not own fancy piano and also not kindey 
> 
> **special contraction procedures:** can't isn't wasn't won't ain't
> 
> **cell mate:** right now probably
> 
> **death class:** precisely 8/23/19 12:30:02 from extreme internal bleeding
> -----------
> **Closing Statement:** D-2473 expired from internal bleeding resulting from the removal of the left kidney. 

> **Subject:** D-4573
> ------------
> **item #:** 0 bones
> 
> **object class:** no bones 
> 
> **bone class:** none
> 
> **bone class:** none
> 
> **bone class:** none
> 
> **bone class:** none
> 
> **bone class:** none
> 
> **bone class:** none
> 
> **bone class:** none
> 
> **bone class:** none
> 
> **shoe size:** 7
> 
> **bone class:** none
> 
> **bone class:** none
> 
> **bone class:** none
> 
> **bone class:** none
> 
> **bone class:** none
> ------------
> **Closing Statement:** D-4573 was terminated 4 minutes after finishing the note and subsequently scraped off the floor. Janitorial staff were then amnesticized due to concerns of mental trauma.


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SCP-3902

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