Link to article: SCP-4090.
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[[>]] [[module Rate]] [[/>]] [[include component:image-block name=dream_of_the_anartists_son.png| caption=SCP-4090-1 ]] **Item #:** SCP-4090 **Object Class:** Safe **Special Containment Procedures:** SCP-4090 is to be stored in a large Safe/Anomalous Item locker in Site-484. SCP-4090-3 is to be stored in an adjacent locker. Testing of SCP-4090-1 requires the permission of any Level 4 researcher. Testing involving SCP-4090-3 requires the permission of Research Director Dias. **Description:** SCP-4090 is a large Amazon brand cardboard box. When entered by a living human, the anterior opening of SCP-4090 serves as a gateway to a small extradimensional space, hereafter referred to as SCP-4090-1. SCP-4090-1 is a Martin-class[[footnote]] Used to denote small, self-containing, non-populated extradimensional spaces. (Mack Martin, //A Proposal for Pocket Dimension Classification//, 2016)[[/footnote]] extradimensional space. SCP-4090-1 is spheroid, with a radius of approximately 8 km. The majority of the space within SCP-4090-1 is an ocean, with a 0.5km^^2^^ central landmass in the exact center. No animal life is present in SCP-4090-1. SCP-4090-1 remains brightly lit despite the absence of a visible source of light. Personnel has described the colors within SCP-4090-1 as "glowing" and "saturated". The air temperature within SCP-4090-1 remains at a constant 25 degrees Celsius. No other physical differences exist between SCP-4090-1 and Earth. Persons entering SCP-4090-1 by way of SCP-4090[[footnote]] Attempts to enter SCP-4090-1 through thaumatological or other means have been unsuccessful.[[/footnote]] arrive through a stone doorway in front of a large structure resembling an ancient Greek temple, hereby designated SCP-4090-2. Attempts to date the material comprising SCP-4090-2 have been inconclusive, with results indicating the temple is anywhere between 10 and 2,000 years old. SCP-4090 is believed to have been created by POI-3055, "zazzbery", formerly affiliated with Gamers Against Weed, at the request of one Keegan Horner. Notably, Horner is the son of POI-958, an anarchist believed to be responsible for EE-████ and several related events. SCP-4090 was intercepted en route to its destination by Foundation employees embedded in the United States Postal Service. The following chat logs were archived by the Foundation due to their connection with SCP-4090. > -> **horner** joined > **bluntfiend:** weed that lets u talk to god > **zazzbery:** 420 praise it > **bluntfiend:** exactly lmao > **horner:** Hey, is this where I go to ask about works? > **bluntfiend:** yeah > **bluntfiend:** are you new > **horner:** Yeah, and I wanted to ask about commissioning work. > **zazzbery:** lmao we arent DeviantArt > **zazzbery:** we just make shit we dont work on commission > **zazzbery:** ill draw your fursona if u want to > **horner:** I know, but I really want this very particular piece of artwork and I don't know how to get it myself. Can someone help me? > **bluntfiend:** no offense but zazz is right lmao go ask da > **horner:** It's for my dad. > **zazzbery:** youre using punctuation > **zazzbery:** are you a cop > **zazzbery:** legally you have to tell us otherwise its entrapment > **horner:** I'm not a cop! I'm here to talk about my dad. He makes art like you guys. > **zazzbery:** daddy issues > **zazzbery:** im listening > -> new PM from **bluntfiend** > **bluntfiend:** you can't oblige this kid because of their dads an anarchist > **bluntfiend:** we don't do commissions > **zazzbery:** do u think this is Charlie horner's kid > **zazzbery:** if it is ive met them irl > **bluntfiend:** were you at > **zazzbery:** Cincinnati 2009 baby > **bluntfiend:** so you saw > **zazzbery:** "SALINE VISCERA REQUIEM IN B FLAT MINOR" > **zazzbery:** damn near lost my hand > **bluntfiend:** there is no evidence to suggest that they're charlie horners kid > **zazzbery:** 5 bucks says they are > **bluntfiend:** fuck off > **zazzbery:** hey horner > **horner:** Yes? > **zazzbery:** you charlies kid > **horner:** Yes. > **bluntfiend:** holy shit > -> new PM from **bluntfiend** > **bluntfiend:** zazz > **bluntfiend:** stop humoring him > **zazzbery:** listen to charlie horners a jag > **zazzbery:** i don't have a personal vendetta but you've seen the guys work > **bluntfiend:** is he with awcy > **zazzbery:** no hes freelance > **bluntfiend:** just cause you don't like his art doesn't mean you can take a revenge commission from a > **bluntfiend:** how old is he > **zazzbery:** cincinnati he was 5 > **zazzbery:** so what like 14 > **bluntfiend:** every 14 year old hates their dad zazz > **bluntfiend:** thats no excuse > **zazzbery:** don't you fuckin devalue the shit parents can put their kids through ok > **zazzbery:** god knows my dad did a number on me when i was his age > **zazzbery:** I'm gonna hear him out > **bluntfiend:** you better not put our name on it whatever you do > **zazzbery:** relax > **horner:** You've seen his work, yeah? > **zazzbery:** yeah > **horner:** It's all shock-value stuff. Blood, guts, viscera, everything. And it's like, that's the only way he interacts with anybody. It's his only language. > **zazzbery:** what do you mean > **horner:** Like, this one time, I missed my curfew. I came back from my friend's house at, like 11:30. And I walk into the kitchen and there's my dad, in six pieces on the floor. > **horner:** Like a grenade went off inside his stomach. And he's plastered all over the walls, and his eyeballs are rolling around on the linoleum. > **horner:** And then his skull rolls over, with bits of flesh hanging off it, and it looks up at me, and it goes: > **horner:** "SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE LATE?" > **horner:** And then my dad steps out of the fridge, hands me a mop, and tells me to clean it up. > **horner:** I buried him in the yard while he stood on the porch and watched me. > **horner:** That stuff doesn't HAPPEN to other kids! They just get yelled at! What the FUCK?! > **horner:** Sorry. That was a lot. > **zazzbery:** listen horner i feel for you > **bluntfiend:** but we still don't do commissions > **zazzbery:** stfu blunt I'm gonna do it > **bluntfiend:** Jesus > **zazzbery:** none of this jokey memey shit either > **zazzbery:** i have some ideas but the problem is gonna be shipping em > **zazzbery:** ill whip you up something pro bono > **zazzbery:** ill PM you with the details > **zazzbery:** one product of a bad dad to another > -> **bluntfiend** has left > -> entering PM with **horner** > **horner:** Can you sabotage his next exhibition? I hear him working with rotary saws in the garage. I could send one to you. > **zazzbery:** ok listen I get that you're mad at him > **horner:** You could say that yeah. > **zazzbery:** but im not gonna make something that'll hurt him for real > **horner:** Why not?! > **zazzbery:** it's not productive > **horner:** I don't want productive! I want him to hurt! > **zazzbery:** listen horner I know > **horner:** Clearly you don't! > **horner:** Cleary you have no idea what I'm talking about, or you'd be with me! > **zazzbery:** horner > **zazzbery:** if I went through all the shit my dad did to me right now it would make your acne-covered head spin > **zazzbery:** so be quiet and listen > **horner:** Okay. I'm sorry. > **zazzbery:** it's ok I'm not mad > **zazzbery:** I'm gonna give you what I wish I had had back then > **zazzbery:** its a place that's gonna be all yours > **zazzbery:** just to go and breathe easy when things get hard > **zazzbery:** do you like vaporwave > **horner:** What's that? > **zazzbery:** it's just a color palette. you're gonna like it trust me > **horner:** Okay. > **zazzbery:** and if things ever do really get truly bad > **zazzbery:** and you actually want to do something about it then i can be there > **zazzbery:** I can take on some of your burdens for you > **zazzbery:** just hold this thing's hand and ill see what i can do > **zazzbery:** but horner? > **horner:** Yeah? > **zazzbery:** this is serious > **zazzbery:** only do it if you really aren't safe around him > **zazzbery:** because i can't do it for long at a time > **zazzbery:** understand? [[collapsible hide="Password Accepted" show="SCP-4090-2: LEVEL 4 ACCESS ONLY" hideLocation=both]] SCP-4090-3 is a 32-centimeter bronze sculpture of a human hand. At the time of its retrieval, SCP-4090-3 was located inside SCP-4090-1's temple on a marble pedestal. When a human subject makes physical contact with the surface of SCP-4090-3, their biological father becomes the host of an infovorous construct that consumes sensory and mnemonic information about the subject. Affected individuals are unable to be perceived or remembered by the host of the construct. The construct evaporates after approximately two weeks but can be reapplied through additional contact with SCP-4090-3. Repeated contact tends to diminish the duration of the effect until a suitable amount of time (usually two to three weeks) has passed. [[/collapsible]] Efforts to contact POI-3055 "zazzbery" are ongoing. 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